the referee sends them to the back before the match begins. There is more pre-match activity now as Kaientai have come down to the ring. More referees come down and send Kaientai back, however Mr. Yamaguichi-San sneaks past them and joins the commentary team. Val gets an early advantage as Lawler asks a lot of un-PC questions about Mr. Yamaguichi-San’s wife, who has supposedly been in a video with Val. Going for a crossbody, Val comes up empty, but he comes right back and nails Jarrett with a hotshot. That gets 2. As Jarrett connects with a powerbomb, Yamaguichi-San promises that Val will be in for a big surprise tomorrow night on RAW. After Jarrett knocks Val to the outside, Tennessee Lee comes over and kicks him for good measure. Back inside, a chopfest breaks out, which is won by Jarrett. Jarrett plants Val with a DDT, which Val sells very well. Val comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. Now Val begins to roll with an inverted atomic drop and a fisherman’s suplex. The latter gets a nearfall. After Val misses a charge into the corner, Jarrett goes up and connects with a crossbody. That gets a long 2 count. Val powerslams Jarrett and then tries to go up top. Jarrett gets up and as the two tangle in the corner, the referee accidentally gets elbowed in the face. Val knocks Jarrett down and tries for the Money Shot, but Tennessee Lee crotches him. Jarrett suplexes Val off the top and then begins to apply the figure four leglock. However, Val grabs Jarrett in a small package for 2. This draws Tennessee Lee up to the apron to argue. Val throws Jarrett into Tennessee Lee and then rolls him up for the 3 count.

Postmatch: Val gets on the mic and gives Yamaguichi-San some disparaging remarks.

Bottom Line: There was nothing special about this match, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. These two seemed to work well together with everything being pretty crisp. Since that finish ended up being a plot point (Jarrett dumped Tennessee soon after this) I think it could have been developed better. Aside from that, the only other problems came from the announce team focusing on the ridiculous Yamaguichi-San storyline and the fans being apathetic toward the match. A good match, even if it wasn’t the best choice for an opener. ** ¼

D’Lo just won the European title last Monday on RAW after The Rock interfered to help him defeat Triple H. This match is non-title, for whatever reason. A pretty even match until D’Lo catches X-Pac with a spinning heel kick. X-Pac comes back with a kick of his own, but comes up empty when he goes for the Bronco Buster. D’Lo slaps on a chinlock, which seems unnecessary this early in the match. Bored by the hold, the crowd begins a “Chyna” chant. X-Pac escapes, but then is whipped hard into the corner. A legdrop by D’Lo gets 2. D’Lo misses a corner charge and now both men are down. Back up, X-Pac goes for a spinning heel kick, but whiffs. D’Lo nails X-Pac with a double ax handle from the second rope. That gets 2. Another resthold is applied by D’Lo. These guys shouldn’t need these many breathers. X-Pac jawjacks his way out of the hold, but is dropped right back down with a clothesline. D’Lo goes for a moonsault, but X-Pac moves out of the way. X-Pac kicks D’Lo down and then connects with the Bronco Buster. Chyna gets on the apron to argue with the referee, which allows The Godfather to nail X-Pac as he was coming off the ropes. X-Pac hits him right back, but then turns right into a sit-out powerbomb by D’Lo, which he calls the Sky High. That move is enough to put X-Pac away.

BL: If you were going to have D’Lo win, why not just make it a title match? Minor quibbles aside, this should have been a lot better than what it was. There was no reason for two restholds in the match. When they weren’t taking a breather, they were exchanging spinning heel kicks. Those are not the ingredients for a recipe of excitement. * ¾

- As the camera pans the crowd, they catch a shot of the mysterious newcomer Edge lurking about. Did this man purchase a ticket? If so, why isn’t he wearing a shirt? If not, why hasn’t security escorted him from the arena?

- Backstage, the WWF.com crew have some breaking news…the Undertaker has not yet arrived to the arena. But they tell us not to worry because they have cameras everywhere throughout the building. Are the cameras really necessary? I mean won’t the goosebumps on your arms be enough of an indication that he’s arrived?

Before the match, J. R. talks with Terry Funk and Bradshaw backstage and Funk announces that he’ll be leaving for six months to recharge his batteries after this match. This news doesn’t sit well with Bradshaw. Bradshaw starts off with Scorpio and dominates him with his power. Just so you know, Scorpio is the former Flash Funk. After dropping Bradshaw with a hurricanrana, Scorpio tags Farooq. A shouldertackle off the top rope by Bradshaw gives him a nearfall. Funk is tagged in and he punches away on Farooq. A neckbreaker by Funk gets a 2 count. Farooq catches Funk with a backbreaker, but when he goes for the Dominator, Bradshaw comes in and boots him. Funk tries to hold Farooq so Bradshaw can do another move from the top rope, but Farooq escapes and slams Bradshaw as he was coming down. Scorpio goes for a high risk maneuver, but Funk crotches him. Then from the top, Bradshaw delivers a back suplex to him. As Bradshaw goes for a powerbomb, Scorpio tries to punch his way out, but Bradshaw is still able to deliver the move. That gets 2. Now Funk and Scorpio brawl on the outside by the guardrail. Funk springboards off the ropes, but nobody has a clue what move he’s trying to do and he just kinda falls on Scorpio. Ugly spot there. Back inside, Funk rolls up Scorpio, but Farooq comes in to break it up. That whole exchange wasn’t very smooth either. Scorpio hits a splash off the top rope and gets a nearfall. Things have broken down here very quickly. Crowd is beginning to shit all over the match with a “boring” chant. Farooq and Bradshaw begin to brawl on the outside as in the ring Scorpio hits Funk with the 450 splash and pins him.

Postmatch: Angered by the loss, Bradshaw slaps Funk around and then gives him a big clothesline. Farooq and Scorpio come back out for the save, but Bradshaw clotheslines Scorpio (who does an awesome 360 sell) and delivers a chairshot to Farooq.

BL: Did this really need to be on PPV? Survey says….bzzzzzz! Actually, there was some passable big man action early on. However, once Funk got in there, things went to hell. Maybe it was for the best that Funk took that time off. As for Bradshaw’s postmatch antics, I guess it was done to put him over. Boy, the writers sure have misguided ideas about how to push him. Either put this guy in a legitimate one-on-one feud or don’t bother with him. This was simply a mess any way you look at it. ½ *

Nice to see the big, fat piece of shit back on PPV. This match was made simply to feed Vince McMahon’s desire to watch big men fight. I keed, I keed. Actually, these two have had a number of run-ins, including last month at the King of the Ring. As they collide, a large “Vader” chant breaks out. Henry is able to slam Vader and then follow it up with an elbow. Vader rolls to the outside after that for a breather. After coming back in, Henry remains on the offensive. A legdrop by Henry gets 2. Henry goes for a sunset flip (!) but Vader just sits on him. A big splash by Vader gives him a nearfall. Now it’s Vader who dominates with an avalanche and a clothesline. The fight heads outside, where Vader throws Henry into the steps. Back inside, Vader splashes Henry from the second rope and covers, but Henry kicks out at 2. Henry catches Vader with a powerslam as he was coming off the ropes. He follows that up with a big splash, which is enough for the victory.

BL: Well, nothing says “we don’t want you no more” than being jobbed out to Mark Henry. That’s quite the decline, going from main eventer to losing to overweight jokes, who will never amount to nothing, within a two-year time span. This wasn’t my cup of tea, but it was a whole lot better than I feared. They kept it short and they kept moving the entire time. If Henry had more than two moves, this could have been decent. *

- We head backstage again where Kevin Kelly reports that there is still no sign of the Undertaker. They have people looking throughout the arena and the city. How hard can it be to find him? It’s not like he can easily blend into the crowd. If he doesn’t show up soon, we may have to give Leslie Nielsen a call. As Kelly finishes his report, we hear Kane’s music and Kelly actually jumps at the sound of Kane’s pyro. The guy is backstage for goodness sake. Next thing you’ll tell me is that he can smell formaldehyde coming off Paul Bearer from back there as well.

- In the ring, Paul Bearer, Kane and Mankind have come out for a little chat. Bearer says Taker’s not here because he’s scared and wants to stay healthy for his title match as Summerslam. Not much more is said before the now former tag team champs, the New Age Outlaws, interrupt (Kane and Mankind beat them for the titles a few weeks ago). The Outlaws issue a challenge for the titles tomorrow night on RAW. Before the get an answer, they go ahead and attack the champs. This draws out the Usual Bunch of Idiots, who separate the four. Nothing particularly interesting, but at least it seemed to have a purpose other than time filler.

Unlike two months ago, DOA are clear cut heels here as they’ve now brought in former LOD manager, Paul Ellering. Unfortunately it appears they didn’t have enough money to bring along Rocco as well. Sunny, however is not with LOD and I believe she was fully gone at this point. Although I don’t recall the reason (probably drugs) or whether her absence was explained on TV. With Sunny’s disappearance came the great, “Hawk is an alcoholic” angle around this time. To the match…DOA trap Animal in their corner early on to gain a quick advantage. Animal clotheslines both Skull and 8-Ball and then quickly tags Hawk. Now Hawk and Animal have isolated Skull and are in control. Hawk misses a charge in the corner and ends up ramming his shoulder. On the floor, Ellering attacks the already injured Hawk. Back inside, a legdrop by 8-Ball gets a nearfall. Hawk is clearly Ricky Morton now as he suffers a number of double-team attacks, as well as attacks from Ellering. DOA go for one double-team maneuver too many and Hawk clotheslines both of them. Hot tag is made to Animal, who takes out both guys. LOD connect with the Doomsday Device on Skull, but 8-Ball makes the save during the cover. Animal nails Ellering, but turns around and gets planted with a DDT by 8-Ball. That’s enough for the 3 count.

BL: OK, so nothing happened storyline-wise, so why have this match? These teams are not talented enough to have fans entertained by their ringwork along. You need to have a purpose for adding these guys onto the show and that wasn’t clear tonight. Frankly, if I had my way, I wouldn’t have them on at all, but we all know how much of a say the fans have. ¾ *

- Because it wouldn’t be a PPV without a Vince McMahon promo, the boss now joins us and is flanked by the Stooges. Vince says that if the Undertaker fails to show up, they should blame Austin for his absence. He then appoints a substitute partner for Austin should Taker no-show…the Brooklyn Brawler. I guess Reno Riggins and Tom Stone were both busy that night.

This match is taking place in the infamous dungeon in Stu Hart’s basement, where many professional wrestlers have begun their training. The match will only be won via submission. After some back and forth grappling, Shamrock takes an advantage by ramming Owen into the wall. Owen stops Shamrock’s momentum with a kick down south. Now Owen rams Shamrock’s head repeatedly into the wall. Owen hangs from a pipe overhead to deliver a hurricanrana to Shamrock. Shamrock throws Owen into a shelving unit holding weights. Now he tries to hang from the pipe, but when he locks his legs around Owen, Owen powerbombs him to the floor. Owen throws Shamrock into the pipe and then rams his head into the ceiling. After all that, Owen locks Shamrock into the Sharpshooter, but Shamrock won’t quit. Shamrock breaks free and tries to put on the ankle lock, but Owen scurries away. Going for a roundhouse kick, Shamrock misses Owen and accidentally hits special guest referee, Dan Severn instead. As Shamrock checks on him, Owen nails him from behind with a dumbbell. Severn wakes up to see Shamrock’s hand tapping. The hand was being moved by Owen, though. Regardless, Owen is your winner.

BL: On one hand this was novel and interesting to watch. On the other hand, they were limited in what they could do down there and there was never any sense of flow to the match. I would have liked more grappling and mat wrestling, rather than brawling, but I guess mat wrestling doesn’t exude enough “Attitude”. This was far from great, but better than most of what we’ve seen tonight. ** ½

Fall #1: Both factions accompany their respective leaders to the ring, but everyone is sent back except for Chyna. HHH tells The Rock to “Suck It”, but The Rock decides he’d rather kick it instead and that’s exactly what he does. The Rock dominates early, but doesn’t do anything interesting during that time. HHH begins to fire back after seeing The Rock give Chyna the crotch chop. Chyna delivers a forearm to The Rock while the referee wasn’t looking. HHH goes for a Pedigree, but The Rock backdrops HHH to escape. The fight is taken to the floor, but the referee opts to yell at them instead of count either man out. The Rock gains the advantage after throwing HHH into the steps and the guardrail. Back inside, The Rock clotheslines HHH and then covers him for 2. HHH catches The Rock with his head down and delivers a swinging neckbreaker. A kneedrop by HHH gets a nearfall. The two trade chops as Lawler humorously talks about how Austin and the Brawler are probably talking about match strategy right now. On the floor, The Rock continues to take it to HHH with a suplex. As The Rock jaws with the referee, Henry comes down and splashes HHH. Now as Chyna argues with the referee about that, The Rock nails HHH with the title belt. The Rock covers and only gets 2. Wow, I thought for sure that would be it. A swinging neckbreaker by The Rock gets 2. Now The Rock applies a lengthy chinlock. HHH escapes, but The Rock remains on the offensive. The Rock goes for the float-over DDT, but misses HHH’s head, so he ad-libs a bit and finally delivers the DDT. Now we go back to the chinlock. Again, HHH escapes and tries a comeback, however The Rock catches him with his head down and plants his face into the mat. That gets 2. HHH delivers a high knee, but The Rock comes right back with a hotshot. The Godfather tries to come down to the ring, but the Outlaws come out and stop him. Then The Rock stalls with the referee for an unusually long time, until finally D’Lo comes out. HHH sees D’LO and crotches him on the top rope. After blasting D’Lo with his European title, HHH turns around only to receive a Rock Bottom. The Rock covers and gets the pin.

Fall #2: We begin the second fall with The Rock knocking HHH to the outside. The Rock reverses a Pedigree attempt into a slingshot, which sends HHH into the Spanish announce table. Back inside, the People’s Elbow gets 2. HHH clotheslines The Rock and both men are now down. D’LO tries getting back on the apron, but Chyna stops him. As the referee yells at Chyna, X-Pac comes out and gives The Rock the X-Factor. HHH crawls over, covers, but can only get 2. HHH brings a chair into the ring, but The Rock steals it. The Rock swings but accidentally hits the referee instead of HHH. With the referee down, Chyna comes in, lowblows The Rock and then DDTs him on the chair. HHH again crawls over and this time he scores the pinfall.

Fall #3: HHH goes for another quick pin, but he has to wait for a second referee because the first was too injured to continue. By the time he gets there, The Rock kicks out at 2. Howard Finkel now announces that 2 minutes remain in the match and I think we know how this one will finish. Both men brawl outside again with HHH getting the better of the exhange. Back inside, HHH hits The Rock with a facebuster. The Rock comes back with a Samoan drop, however. Now the two slug it out as there is less than 30 seconds to go. The Rock goes for the Rock Bottom, but HHH escapes and hits him with the Pedigree. HHH covers, but the bell rings as time has ran out. The Rock retains the title on the draw finish.

Postmatch: The Nation come out and attack HHH only for D-X to come out and make the save.

BL: Ugh! Time limit draw? You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t care for that finish at all. But since they obviously wanted to draw out this feud, I suppose there are worse cop-out finishes they could have come up with. There were other things I had problems with including too many run-ins and how long it took to get the first pinfall. It was also somewhat odd that it seemed like The Rock had to carry HHH throughout the match. Despite these problems, you could tell, just like in the first HHH/Mankind match, that they were just a few tweaks away from having a great match. Even though it seems like I had a lot of complaints, I still thought that this was a pretty decent match. *** ½

- We’re back with Kevin Kelly and some good news finally as the Undertaker has arrived. Unfortunately, he was just there to pick up his check and has now left again. And if you thought that last sentence was serious, well then I guess you don’t have a very high opinion of the Undertaker.

- Now in some WWF Home Video “exclusive footage”, we catch The Rock leaving the arena spouting off his usual catchphrases. Umm, I’m not sure how “exclusive” that footage was, since it seemed like stuff I see every week. If they’re not careful, I just might sue for false advertising.

- The upcoming bikini contest actually gets a video package. It basically consists of Sable and Marc Mero’s new lady, Jacqueline, exchanging “oh no she didn’t…oh yes she did” one-liners. I’m still surprised that Sable’s catchphrase, “Don’t just blow it, show it” didn’t catch on like wildfire.

Dustin Runnels comes out beforehand and says a prayer to help these “lost girls”. Jacqueline goes first and in the process of strutting her stuff, she accidentally exposes her nipple. The original nipplegate! Except with this one, no one actually overreacted or cared for that matter. When Lawler asks for the crowd’s judgment, they are far from positive for her. It’s now Sable’s turn and her bikini consists of bikini bottoms and a halter top. Lawler is rather underwhelmed with this outfit. Sable says that this is what Mr. McMahon approved for her. But she’s more concerned about pleasing her fans, so she pulls off her top and reveals two handprints painted on her boobs. The crowd, not surprisingly goes wild over that. Mr. McMahon comes out, puts his jacket over Sable and escorts her out. The crowd declares Sable the winner, but Marc Mero claims that what Sable was wearing wasn’t a bikini and Jacqueline is the winner.

BL: This one gets a pass from me. Since these weren’t commonplace back then and the outfit was pretty scandalous for the time, I won’t be too harsh on it. Plus, at least this was used within the context of a feud, not a strong one mind you, but a feud nonetheless. Now they just cart these bimbos out there for no reason whatsoever.

- Some more “exclusive footage” shows Jacqueline storming into Sable’s lockerroom and the two yelling at each other as the Usual Bunch of Idiots try to separate them. Again, I question the exclusivity of this footage as I could probably watch any episode of Jerry Springer and see the exact same thing.

- OK, so here’s the deal with the main event scene. Since Austin has now gone through Kane and Mankind and there aren’t really any other main event heels, the Undertaker has been named the #1 contender, but he won’t face Austin until Summerslam. So to fill up the main event here, Mr. McMahon decided to team Austin and Taker up to take on Kane and Mankind. Now for the past couple of weeks, there has been speculation that Taker and Kane are in cahoots. So, the question remains whether tonight it will be a regular tag match or will Austin end up in a 3-on-1 handicap match. As J.R. would say, “we’re fixin to find out right now”.

Taker meets Austin in the aisle, but before they can mince too many words, Kane and Mankind attack them. The faces overcome the attack and Austin tosses Mankind back into the ring to get the match underway. Before he continues to go after Mankind, Austin pauses to flip off Taker. Austin starts off hot, until Kane and Mankind double-team him. That doesn’t slow Austin down too much, as he hits Kane with the Lou Thesz Press and the FU elbow. Austin goes for the Stunner, but Kane bails to the floor. Kane is brought back in by Austin, who then tags Taker. Taker delivers a move to Kane and then gives the finger to Austin, who is amused by the gesture. Now Taker gives Mankind some rough turnbuckle treatment. That is followed by Taker connecting with the ropewalk. Mankind blindly tags Kane, who comes in and chokeslams Taker. Things slow way down now with Kane on offense. A double-arm DDT by Mankind gets 2 on Taker, thanks to Austin breaking up the pin. As Kane and Taker brawl on the outside, Austin knocks Mankind off the apron and he lands hard on the Spanish announce table. And here I thought Mick could take it easy this month. Back in the ring, Taker DDTs Mankind. Both men tag out and now Austin takes it to Kane and Mankind. Things come unglued as Mankind and Taker brawl on the floor and Austin blasts Kane with a chairshot. Austin covers, but can only get 2. Kane boots Austin and then throws him outside. After both heels attack him on the floor, Austin becomes the face-in-peril. A double clothesline puts both Austin and Mankind down. Mankind tags Kane, but Austin can’t tag Taker. A legdrop by Kane gets 2. Austin gets double-teamed while the referee is help up by Taker. Kane chokeslams Austin, but opts not to pin. Instead, Kane tries for a Tombstone, but Austin escapes and hits him with the Stunner. Before he can cover, Mankind comes in and applies the Mandible Claw. However, Austin quickly Stunners him too. Austin crawls over to Taker looking for a tag, but Taker doesn’t hold out his hand. Finally, he reluctantly tags in and goes to work on Mankind. Taker comes in and delivers chokeslams to Kane and Mankind. Then, he tombstones Kane and covers. Austin blocks Mankind and Taker gets the 3 count. New champions.

Postmatch: Taker grabs both titles and just leaves with Austin looking on perplexed.

- Then, in some more “exclusive footage”, we see Taker walking through the back of the arena and into his lockerroom. Wow, so that’s what a lockerroom looks like. I had no idea!

BL: This isn’t my idea of a great PPV main event, but they can’t all be blockbuster epics. This was a fun little tag match, but I think it could have used more drama in the closing minutes to really make it good. Considering they spent the whole show talking about Taker’s supposed alliance with Kane, they sure didn’t play it up much during the match. However, as with most main events, it did a nice job of making you want to find out what was going to happen next. ***

Final Thoughts: Thank goodness for the final hour, as it saved this show from being absolutely dreadful. Mind you, the last two matches weren’t blow-away great, but decent enough to leave you feeling better about the show. One big criticism I have is the lousy commentating for the match. The whole night was spent with the commentators talking about where the Undertaker could be or Lawler trying to explain to J.R. how amazing Sable’s bikini was. This would be the perfect show to have MY commentary running as you watch the matches. Anyways, there’s no reason to see this show. You can miss this one and still not skip a beat as to what was going in ’98.

Next time…check out the Undertaker taking on Steve Austin for the title back when it was actually a fresh matchup.