Emanating from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, CA

Your commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

- This year, the WWF decided to stay in-house and have Lillian Garcia perform the Star Spangled Banner. Aww, I was hoping they would bring back Rockin’ Robin for another performance.

lackey. D’Lo and Bull kick things off and D’Lo grabs the advantage with a spinning heel kick. The Godfather and D’Lo double-team Bull to gain control. A missed legdrop by the Godfather allows Bull to tag the Bossman. The faces seem to be one step ahead of the heels in the opening minutes of this match. D’Lo whips Bull, but he leaps onto the top rope and then jumps back to clothesline D’Lo. Impressive! Now the heels begin to double-team D’Lo. A scissors kick by Bull gets 2. The heels have cut the ring in half and have put D’Lo in trouble. A bearhug by Bull slows things way down. Bull goes up top, but the Godfather shakes the ropes from the apron and Bull gets crotched. D’Lo gets up and delivers a hurricanrana to Bull from the top. D’Lo finally makes the hot tag and the Godfather comes in firing. The Bossman reverses a whip, but misses the follow-up charge. The Godfather does connect, however, with the Ho Train. D’Lo goes up for the frog splash, but Bull distracts him. As the Godfather and Bull fight on the floor, the Bossman catches D’Lo with the Bossman Slam. Bull follows that up with a top rope legdrop and covers D’Lo for the win.

Postmatch: The Bossman and Bull chase the hos to the back. To the victor goes the spoils, I guess.

Bottom Line: I have to assume Ice-T’s appearance is what made this the opener, because I can’t see any other reason why you would kick off the show with this; especially if you’re gonna have the faces lose. This was pretty pedestrian and a little sloppy at times. I will say that the Bossman and Bull worked pretty well together and had some decent double-team moves. Still, I have to chalk their win as an upset. With better opponents, both of these teams could look good, but pairing them together did not produce a decent match. * ¾

- Triple H and Stephanie bask in their greatness as they admire each other’s championship belts (Stephanie won the women’s championship a few weeks ago). They better enjoy it now, since we all know the face always leaves Wrestlemania with the gold.

- Recently, Crash Holly won the Hardcore title and said that he would defend it 24/7. Big mistake. People are now trying to attack him at any time, in order to win the belt. Because of this, the WWF devised a match to play into this new defense style; the hardcore battle royal. Earlier today, the referees explained to the participants that the match will be 15 minutes long and there is no limit to the number of pinfalls that could occur (or as Crash humorously adds, maybe none at all). In order to become champ, you must pin the champ. At the end of the time, whoever is champion, will remain champion.

The participants for this match are Crash, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Tazz, the Mean Street Posse, the Acolytes, the Headbangers and Kaientai. We’re underway with everyone grabbing the nearest person to them. Tazz grabs Crash and delivers a suplex. He covers Crash and gets the 3. New champ! On the floor, Viscera rams Tazz into the post and then pins him for 3. New champ! Meanwhile, everyone else is attacking each other with various weapons that were brought out to ringside. Someone has busted Crash’s forehead open. Hardcore hits Vis with a trash can lid and covers, but only gets 2. In the ring, Vis goes up top (!) but the Acolytes slam him off. Then, Farooq hits him with a 2 x 4 and Bradshaw connects with a top rope shouldertackle. The Acolytes then throw Kaientai on Vis and they pin him for the title. New champ(s)! The Fink announces Funaki as the champ, so Taka attacks him. Funaki runs to the back and everyone chases after him. Rodney throws Funaki into a guardrail and then covers him for 3. New champ! Then Joey Abs blindsides Rodney and hits him with a gut wrench suplex. That’s enough to pin him. New champ! Thrasher grabs Joey Abs, throws him into a garage door, and pins him for 3. New champ! Thrasher heads back to ringside, where Pete Gas sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Pete covers and gets the 3. New champ! I should add that Pete also has an impressive crimson mask going on right now. Tazz suplexes Pete at ringside and picks up another pin. Once again champ! We’re under 5 minutes to go now. In the ring, the Hollys attack Tazz, as well as each other. After nailing Tazz with a baking sheet, Crash pins him to become champ with 30 seconds to go. As Crash celebrates, Tazz puts him in the Tazzmission. As the clock winds down, Hardcore hits Tazz with a candy jar. Hardcore covers Crash and Tim White counts 1, 2, and stops with 2 seconds left on the clock. The Fink then announces Hardcore as the winner of the match. Huh?

BL: So the actual finish was supposed to be Hardcore pinning Crash, but time runs out before the 3 count can be made. However, Tim White started too soon and goofed, so they called an audible and gave Hardcore the win. It’s a shame it didn’t go down as planned, but there was no real harm done. The match in general is pretty stupid, as it’s a bunch of guys chaotically hitting each other with random objects. The ease with which guys are able to be defeated is also pretty laughable. Still, this was early on in the 24/7 era and the match is pretty enjoyable for mindless entertainment. ** ½

- We get a video package covering the WWF Axess event, which is where fans can interact with the superstars and see a lot of cool displays. If I had gotten to go, the only thing I would want to do is the “Do play-by-play with Michael Cole”. Oh how I would love to beat the little goateed bitch at his own game. It would have been more embarrassing than the times when Jesse Ventura would show up Tony Schiavone back in the day.

Here are a couple more new tag teams. Snow has been looking for the perfect partner and latched onto Blackman in hopes of helping him get a personality. In coming up with a name for their team, one struck a chord with the audience; Head Cheese. To help win over Blackman on the name, Snow brings out to ringside a midget dressed as a wedge of cheese named Chester McCheeserton. Meanwhile, T & A is comprised of Test and Albert. They came together after newcomer Trish Stratus chose them to become her new team to manage. OK, enough backstory, let’s get to the match. Test quickly attacks Blackman to get us underway. A splash by Albert followed by a boot by Test gets a nearfall on Snow. Snow comes back with an enziguri on Albert. Neither team can gain an advantage and the action is all over the place thus far. A double clothesline by Snow and Blackman on Albert put him down for 2. A diving headbutt by Blackman gets another nearfall. Crowd has been pretty dead throughout this match. A double arm suplex by Albert allows him to tag out. Test and Albert isolate Snow and hit him with a tandem powerbomb. Test covers, but Blackman breaks up the pin. On the floor, Snow hits Albert with a moonsault. Snow then hits Test with a top rope legdrop. Blackman covers, but Albert breaks up that pin. Albert press slams Test onto Blackman and Snow has to break up that cover. Chester begins to stalk Trish, which distracts Blackman. This allows Albert to press slam him. Test follows it up with a top rope elbow and mercifully gets the 3 count.

Postmatch: Unhappy with the loss, Snow and Blackman humorously beat up Chester. Chester gets a stretcher job afterwards. Lawler suggests they should just put him on a cracker. Ha!

BL: It’s not a good sign when the highlight of the match comes from the postmatch midget beatdown. This match was a train wreck and even J.R. admitted it with one of his “bowling shoe ugly” comments. I’m all for showcasing new teams, but these teams needed more work together before being carted out on the main stage. Bottom line here, this match stunk worse than Chester. ½ *

- Mae Young and The Kat do an Austin Powers rip-off, where they conveniently find things to cover up The Kat’s naked body. The live crowd didn’t seem to like missing out on the nudity, but I found it humorous nonetheless.

- As the Dudley Boyz chat with Michael Cole about their match, Bubba proclaims that they will take Wrestlemania to a whole new level. Given how awful that last match was, I’ll be glad if they just bring it back up to normal level.

Edge and Christian jump the Hardyz to begin this match. Everybody fights around ringside in an attempt to soften up their opponent. Christian brings a ladder in and climbs, but is stopped by Matt. D-Von doesn’t waste any time bringing in a second ladder to the ring. The Dudleyz get abused with the ladders by the faces. Jeff lays Bubba on a ladder and does a 450 splash, but Bubba moves and all Jeff hits is metal. Ouch! Bubba places the ladder over Jeff and connects with a senton bomb. Now D-Von legdrops a ladder with Edge under it. Bubba puts the ladder around his neck and lays out everyone with it. Edge and Christian deliver a flapjack to D-Von onto a ladder. From inside the ring, Christian leaps off a ladder and lands on Bubba and Matt on the floor. As Jeff tries to climb a ladder, Edge jumps off the top rope and spears him. Wow! Edge climbs up, but Matt grabs him and gives him a Razor’s Edge. Both Bubba and Christian climb up a ladder and soon they both go down when Bubba gives Christian a neckbreaker. Now Edge and Christian superplex D-Von from the top of a ladder. This is just non-stop craziness. All six men climb up a ladder and in a carefully orchestrated spot, all six come crashing down, including Matt and Christian, who fall straight to the floor. After connecting with the 3-D on Edge, the Dudleyz go outside and grab tables! They place one table on top of two of the ladders in the ring. The Dudleyz climb up, but are stopped by the Hardyz. In the ring, D-Von tries to splash Jeff through a table, but Jeff moves out of the way. Meanwhile, Bubba does powerbomb Matt from the Spanish announce table through an ordinary table. Jeff walks the guardrail toward Bubba, but Bubba throws a ladder at him. In the aisle, Bubba sets up an extra tall ladder and another table. Christian hits Bubba with the ringbell and puts him on the table. Then Jeff climbs up the tall ladder and does a swanton bomb onto Bubba, through the table. Holy Shit! In the ring, Matt and Christian climb a ladder. Edge follows up and they all fight on the table that was set on top of the ladders. Edge and Christian throw Matt off the table and he falls through another table set up in the ring. All alone on the table, Edge and Christian reach up and grab the titles to become the new tag champs.

BL: Simply put, this is great. The No Mercy ladder match was fantastic. By adding the Dudleyz and tables here, they somehow came up with an even better match. This completely erases the bad taste of that last match out of our mouths. I can’t say it enough: great, great, great. *****

- Kevin Kelly talks with Mick Foley and Linda McMahon, who was responsible for getting Mick reinstated for this one last match. Mick says that tonight, he could have a fairy tale ending by winning the WWF title. You know, when I think hardcore, I certainly associate it with fairy tales and Linda McMahon.

These two are feuding over petty issues that I don’t really recall. Anyways, to win the match, you have to throw your opponent through the ropes and to the floor. Terri is accompanied by the Fabulous Moolah, while The Kat is seconded by Mae Young. Both ladies flirt with Val to begin. Terri spears The Kat and Val quickly pulls her off. In his arms, Terri plants a big one on Val. Then The Kat does the same to him. As The Kat tackles Terri, Mae gets on the apron, which distracts Val. While Val is trying to prevent Mae from pulling up her shirt, The Kat throws Terri to the floor. However, Moolah puts Terri back into the ring before Val sees it. Mae begins to chase Moolah and when they get into the ring, Mae plants one on Val. He’s getting all sorts of action tonight. The Kat throws Terri outside again, but Val is still tied up with Mae. Moolah pulls The Kat out and puts Terri back in. Val turns around, sees Terri and declares her the winner.

Postmatch: Mae attack Moolah, while The Kat tries to strip Terri.

BL: This doesn’t really deserve a star rating, since it barely constituted a match. Whether it was a match or a segment, though, it was definitely stupid. Nothing is gained by having Terri cheat to win. And in the mind of horny young boys, this was a thumbs down, since they didn’t see any boobies. I know we needed a “palette cleanser” after the ladder match, but they could have given us something better than that. DUD

The Radicalz still have an issue with Too Cool, and Chyna was brought into the mix after taking offense to Eddie Guerrero’s advances. That takes some kind of woman to be able to deny Eddie’s “Latino Heat”. As soon as Chyna gets in the ring, Eddie begins winking at her. Scotty takes down Eddie early on with some fast-paced action. When Chyna is tagged in, Eddie quickly tags out. As Malenko tries to powerbomb Chyna, Scotty clotheslines him from the apron. After suplexing Malenko, Sexay and Chyna dance. Ugh. Sexay goes up top, but with the referee distracted, Saturn is able to shove him off. Saturn puts on Sexay’s do-rag and then stomps away on him. Ha! Eddie begins to work over Scotty. With Scotty down, Eddie dances for Chyna. Then he makes the referee admonish Sexay so he can attack Chyna. You gotta love it. However, it allows Scotty to get up and retaliate on Eddie. From the apron, Sexay suplexes Eddie to the floor. In the ring, Scotty fends off Malenko and gives Saturn a bulldog. Then he does the Worm to both of them. With Eddie distracting the referee, Saturn and Malenko attack Scotty on the floor. Eddie goes up top, but Scotty crotches him. Then Scotty superplexes him from the top. Scotty tags Chyna and Eddie immediately flees. Chyna takes out Saturn and Malenko in an effort to get to Eddie. After delivering a handspring elbow to both of them, Chyna gets blindsided by Eddie. Chyna escapes a powerbomb attempt and gives one of her own to Eddie. Chyna gives Eddie the testicular claw and then press slams him. She follows that up with a sleeper into a neckbreaker. Chyna covers and is able to get the 3 count.

BL: Some mixed emotions here. The first half of the match was rather bland and really could have used a decent face-in-peril sequence. As we headed toward end game, things drastically improved, as we got the long-awaited Eddie/Chyna showdown. However, just as things were heating up, Chyna quickly pins Eddie and ends it. This was so not the finish I was looking for. The Radicalz not being able to adequately display their skills and them jobbing again forces me to drop the rating for this match down a couple of pegs. ** ¾

- We see how some white trash couple won a pair of tickets to Wrestlemania through some contest. Enjoy it now, because tomorrow it’s back to pumping the septic tank behind your trailer.

- Shane McMahon and the Big Show chat with each other and run down Show’s opponents using a number of really bad puns. I don’t know if he can win the WWF title, but I definitely think he’s ready to be a writer for Jay Leno.

- Earlier tonight on HeAT, Kurt Angle learned that it was his mentor, Bob Backlund, who put him into his triple threat match tonight. Upon hearing this, Angle put Backlund in his own crossface chicken wing. Apparently Angle is not a fan of the “tough love” method of training.

Oddly enough, the first fall will be for the Intercontinental title and the second one will be for the European title. As Angle takes off his titles, Benoit attacks him on the floor. In the ring, Jericho sends Benoit into the post and then dropkicks Angle. Jericho tries his springboard dropkick, but Benoit hits him in mid-air. When Benoit attacks Angle on the apron, Jericho gets up and now actually does the dropkick, knocking both men to the floor. Angle throws Jericho into the steps and then, back inside, hits him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Jericho climbs up top, but Benoit runs over and shoves him off. Jericho goes flying into the Spanish announce table. Benoit works over Angle and gets a couple nearfalls. Jericho hits his crappy bulldog on Angle and gets 2. Everyone’s going for pinfalls early on, but the third man keeps breaking them up. Angle locks Jericho in a chicken wing, but Benoit hits Angle before he can get Jericho to submit. Benoit throws Angle into the crowd and then delivers a diving headbutt to Jericho. Benoit pins Jericho and gets a 3 count. Benoit is the new Intercontinental champ. Benoit tries to pin Jericho again, but Angle makes it back in to break that up. Angle slams Benoit and then goes for the moonsault, but Jericho crotches him. Benoit delivers a back suplex to Jericho from the top rope. Angle now actually does the moonsault, but Benoit moves out of the way. As Jericho starts to put the Walls of Jericho on Angle. Benoit comes over and clothesline him. Jericho powerbombs Angle and then picks him up and gives him a second. Benoit comes in and he gives Jericho three German suplexes. Benoit ducks Jericho’s flying forearm attempt and he ends up hitting the referee instead. Benoit locks the Crippler Crossface on Jericho, but the referee is out and doesn’t see him tapping. Jericho comes back, however, and puts Benoit in the Walls of Jericho, but the referee is still down. Angle comes in and hits Jericho with one of the title belts. After suplexing Angle, Benoit goes for the diving headbutt, but misses. Jericho connects with the Lionsault on Benoit and covers him for the victory. Angle loses both titles without being pinned.

BL: I’ll start off by saying the booking for the match was spot on. I liked how Angle lost without losing. It gives worthy guys titles and adds more heat to Angle. As for the wrestling, I have to say I was disappointed. They kept the action constant, but it never seemed to build to anything. They were just randomly hitting moves on one another. It wasn’t bad by any means, but I know they’re capable of more. *** ¼

- Michael Cole asks Vince McMahon if he’ll be a factor in the main event tonight. Vince responds by saying that he’s always a factor whenever he’s involved. If he’s talking about wrestling, sure. If we’re talking about outside ventures, then, not so much.

- We then see Triple H get all upset over Vince’s comments. However, he still remains confident that he’ll win and he tells that to Stephanie. Come on Triple H, give it up. We all know you’re losing, so why bother pretending.

They decided to slightly modify the Kane/X-Pac feud by adding a couple of guys who weren’t involved with anything else for Wrestlemania. Before the match begins, Tori gets in Paul Bearer’s face and slaps him. Kane goes after her, but X-Pac stops him. Meanwhile, in the ring, Rikishi butt splashes Road Dogg and gives him the Stinkface. Tori runs in the ring for safety, but bumps into Rikishi. He almost gives her the Stinkface, but X-Pac pulls her away. DX tries to leave, but the faces stop them in the aisle. Back inside, X-Pac knocks down Rikishi and then gives him the Bronco Buster. Road Dogg jukes and jives on Rikishi and then hits the shaky legs kneedrop. That gets 2. Rikishi comes back with a neckbreaker on X-Pac. Rikishi then tags Kane, who attacks both heels. Kane knocks down X-Pac. Rikishi goes for another Stinkface, but Tori pulls X-Pac out of the ring. Paul Bearer throws Tori into the ring and Rikishi gives her the Stinkface instead. Then Kane grabs X-Pac, tombstones him, and covers him for the win.

Postmatch: Too Cool come out and get the crowd ready for some dancing. Suddenly, the San Diego Chicken comes out to join the fun. Uh oh, we’ve seen this before. Kane approaches the chicken and grabs him by the throat. All of sudden, Pete Rose runs in with a baseball bat. Rikishi stops Pete from attacking Kane and then Kane chokeslams Pete. Too Cool set Pete up in the corner and Rikishi gives him the Stinkface.

BL: A pretty short and brisk match that was probably included just so these guys could be on the show. Kane once again defeats X-Pac. Let’s hope that this is now finally the end to this feud. Frankly, the match will be remembered more for its postmatch antics. I’m a sucker for Pete Rose appearances and they did a nice job again this year with it. They called back to his previous appearances, yet still made this fresh. *

- Now Kevin Kelly gets The Rock’s thoughts on his upcoming match. So, we saw Stephanie with Triple H, Shane with the Big Show and Linda with Mick Foley, but Vince and The Rock gives separate promos. Hmm, something seems off to me.

There’s no video package for the match, but all you need to know is that all four men had justification for being in the main event and thus were given a shot. Also, there is a McMahon backing each combatant and they will be in their respective man’s corner. Finally, if Mick Foley fails to win the WWF title here, he will stay retired. *wink* The four pair off to begin as Mick goes after HHH and The Rock battles Show. Soon, Show takes down everyone. Mick hops on Show’s back, but Show just falls backwards. Ooph! Didn’t need to see that spot again. A low blow by Mick finally drops Show. Now the other three decide to gang up on Show. Shane tries to trip The Rock, but is unsuccessful. As The Rock knocks Shane off the apron, Mick nails Show with a chair. The Rock then gives Show a Rock Bottom and covers him for 3. We’re less than five minutes into the match and Show is already gone. Wow! HHH tries to get Mick to team up with him against The Rock, but Mick says no dice. He tries the same with The Rock and The Rock agrees, only to immediately double-cross him. The faces play ping-pong with HHH. On the floor, The Rock tries to hit HHH with the ringbell, but accidentally hits Mick instead. Then HHH throws The Rock into the steps. Mick takes out a 2 x 4 wrapped in barbed wire, but HHH lowblows him. HHH then uses the board on Mick. Mick comes back with a double-arm DDT and then applies Mr. Socko. Mick lets go to allow the Rock to hit him with the WWF title. As The Rock goes for the People’s Elbow, Mick applies Mr. Socko to him. That doesn’t seem smart. HHH gets up and gives both of them lowblows. A double-arm DDT by Mick gets a nearfall on The Rock. Now HHH and Mick team up to attack The Rock. On the floor, The Rock whips Mick into the steps. HHH places The Rock on the Spanish announce table and then Mick leaps off the second rope onto him. Except that Mick shorted the jump and took a nasty bump himself. HHH then jumps onto The Rock to break the table. Back in the ring, HHH connects with the Pedigree on Mick and covers, but Mick kicks out at 2. HHH gives Mick a chairshot and then delivers another Pedigree to him on the chair. HHH covers and this time he stays down for three. Mick Foley’s career has come to an end. Mick begins to leave, but then comes back and hits HHH with the 2 x 4 one more time before leaving. The Rock comes in and covers, but HHH kicks out at 2. The Rock clotheslines HHH out of the ring and the two now fight down the aisle. They fight through the crowd and back to ringside. The Rock tries to use the steps, but HHH hits them with a chair. Now HHH piledrives The Rock on the steps. HHH brings The Rock in and covers, but The Rock kicks out at 2. The Rock goes for the Rock Bottom, but HHH escapes. HHH tries for the Pedigree, but The Rock backdrops him out of the ring. Back into the crowd they go and brawl. At ringside, The Rock gives HHH a spinebuster. He then suplexes HHH through the announce table. HHH gets in Vince’s face and they start to brawl. As Vince tosses HHH back into the ring, Shane comes back out and jumps Vince. The two brawl around ringside as HHH and The Rock are out in the ring. Shane hits Vince with a chair and he’s been busted open. The Rock connects with a DDT on HHH and gets a nearfall. HHH comes back with a facebuster and then nails The Rock with the 2 x 4. Shane comes in and looks to hit someone with a chair, but The Rock catapults HHH into him. The Rock then hits HHH with a Rock Bottom. Shane looks to hit someone again, but Vince comes in and throws Shane out of the ring. Vince then grabs the chair and nails The Rock. Whaaa? HHH covers, but The Rock manages to kick out. Vince hits The Rock again with a chair. HHH covers and this time gets the 3. HHH retains the WWF Championship. Unbelievable!

Postmatch: Vince, Shane and Stephanie come in and hug in the ring. Then The Rock comes back and gives Vince and Shane Rock Bottoms. Stephanie gets in The Rock’s face and slaps him. The Rock then Rock Bottoms her and gives her the People’s Elbow to sort of send the folks home happy.

BL: Well, that sure was a downer of a finish. History was made here and not good history, as HHH becomes the first heel to win a Wrestlemania main event. In what would become a trend, the match suffered from the over-usage of McMahons. However, even without them, this wouldn’t have been a classic. It was your standard main event brawl, nothing too special. You have to question the decision to bring Mick Foley back for this match. Yes, it was a nice gesture, but he didn’t contribute a lot and once again he jobs to the Pedigree. I would have liked for him to go out on a more positive note. *** ½

Final Thoughts: In what has to be considered a surprise, this has been the worst PPV thus far in 2000. Too much of the undercard was spent on meaningless tag matches that had no backstory to them. Then you had disappointments in the main event and Eurocontinental title match. About the only thing that scored was the ladder match. If you want to see this show for that match, fine. Otherwise, don’t bother with this show as there are both better Wrestlemanias and better PPVs from 2000 that you could watch instead.

Next time, watch how Steve Austin has magically turned his six-pack into a keg.