Emanating from the Fleet Center in Boston, MA

Your commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

for the Intercontinental title last Thursday on Smackdown. Jericho does two lame jobs to Benoit, yet they have Rikishi defeat him with his crappy butt splash? That aint right. We get a slugfest right out of the gates. Rikishi wins it and gives Benoit a Samoan Drop. The fight goes outside where Benoit is whipped into the steps. Back inside, Benoit tries for a German suplex and hits it. Wow! That gets 2. In the corner, Benoit applies a standing version of the Crossface. After Rikishi misses a corner splash, Benoit locks on a normal Crossface. Rikishi makes it to the ropes to break the hold. Benoit goes and grabs a chair. He brings it in and nails Rikishi, which draws a disqualification. You have got to be kidding me!

Postmatch: Benoit continues to attack Rikishi with the chair and then applies the Crossface again. Benoit then does a diving headbutt on Rikishi’s shoulder.

Bottom Line: What kind of piece of shit booking is that? Benoit was in control of the match, but just because Rikishi broke the Crossface, he has to get a chair. A really stupid ending that advances the wrong guy in the tournament. What makes this all even worse is that this is the exact same way they began last year’s tourney as well. So the finish is stupid AND lazy. ¾ * WWF Booking 1, Common Sense 0

- Earlier on HeAT, Linda McMahon told Michael Cole that she was here to confront her husband. Back to live action, we see Triple H tell Vince that he better not let Linda get to him. Vince says not to worry, because tonight, he’s “Joe Cool”. HHH, Shane and Stephanie don’t seem convinced. Or maybe they’re just concerned that Vince will be sued by Charles Schultz.

- Cole asks Benoit why he cost himself a chance at becoming King of the Ring? Benoit says that he does what he wants, when he wants. So evidently, Benoit wanted to lose that match. OK then.

In a shocking move, Eddie has come out to the ring sans mullet! Since the last time he was on PPV, Val has gone through some changes too. He’s now being managed by Trish Stratus and his theme music has been re-mixed to include a really stupid techno drum beat to it. Val gets an early advantage by putting the boots to Eddie in the corner. Eddie comes back with a dropkick. The two head outside where Val drops Eddie across the guardrail. Val goes up top, but Eddie crotches him. Then he climbs up and connects with a superplex. Eddie locks on a sweet surfboard and then turns it into a bow-and-arrow. Val rakes the eyes to escape. A backslide by Eddie gets 2. Val presses Eddie to go back in control. Eddie comes back with a hurricanrana. After suplexing Val, Eddie goes up for the frog splash. Val moves out of the way, but Eddie changes course mid-stream to prevent himself from doing the move. Val catches Eddie with a spinebuster. Val goes for the Money Shot, but Eddie puts his knees up. A Russian legsweep by Val gets 2. Val elbows a charging Eddie and covers him for 2. Eddie perches Val up top and gives him a hurricanrana. Trish gets up on the apron, but Chyna comes over and pulls her down. Val grabs Chyna and tries to hit her, but she blocks it and punches him. Eddie rolls up Val and gets a nearfall. Val escapes a German suplex attempt and gets Eddie in a fisherman’s suplex for 3.

BL: Talk about an out-of-nowhere finish. There was nothing done previous to the fisherman’s suplex to indicate Eddie was hurt enough to stay down for 3. I figure he lost because he cut the mullet. All his strength was stored in that thing. The action leading up to the finish was decent enough; albeit a little scatterbrained. These two were never able to find a good pace for the match. ** ¾ WWF Bookers 2, Common Sense 0

- Patterson is backstage with Janet the Makeup Lady trying to find a dress for his “match” tonight. You know, I’m gonna have to review that atrocity later, let’s not waste time talking about it now.

- Johnathan Coachman interviews Rikishi about his condition and Rikishi says he’ll be ready to go. With the way Rikishi says the phrase “Oh Yeah” in this promo, it makes me think he might have a fall-back career as the Kool-Aid Man.

Oy! How did both of these guys get this far and then paired up with each other, no less? Crash tries to mount an offense, but Bull dominates him, early on. Bull shows off the variety of his power moves. A suplex by Bull gets 2. On the outside, Bull continues his attack. Crash manages to get an inside cradle for 2. Bull goes for the scissors kick, but misses. Crash rolls Bull up and keeps him down for 3 to score the upset victory.

BL: Major yawner here as it was a squash match until the “shocking” victory. I know Crash is amusing in his Hardcore shtick, but there is no way that it is good enough to warrant this kind of push. DUD WWF Booking 3, Common Sense 0

- Vince barges into Linda’s dressing room and demands to know what she’s doing here. She says she wants to make sure that Vince doesn’t bring in any additional help for his match tonight. Then Vince takes way too long to say he’s confident that his team will win tonight on their own. I’d tell you how Linda reacted to that, had she actually been programmed with emotions.

You mean to tell me that they couldn’t have put Angle with Crash and Jericho with Bull in this round, so we could get this matchup in the semis? Morons. Angle does a wicked awesome Boston accent in his pre-match promo. Angle pounds away on Jericho in the corner to begin. Angle catches Jericho and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. That gets 2. Jericho comes back with a flying forearm. Angle backdrops Jericho to the apron. Jericho climbs up top and delivers a missile dropkick. That gets a nearfall. After Angle misses a charge in the corner, Jericho hits him with his crappy bulldog. Jericho connects with the Lionsault and covers, but Angle gets his foot on the rope. A springboard dropkick by Jericho knocks Angle to the floor. Jericho charges at Angle, but gets hiptossed into the crowd. Now Angle whips Jericho into the steps. Back inside, a suplex by Angle gets a nearfall. A backbreaker by Jericho gets 2. Angle avoids a dropkick and then catapults Jericho into the turnbuckle. Angle gives Jericho a German suplex and bridges into a pin for 2. Jericho whips Angle to the corner, but gets booted when he charges in. Angle goes up top, but then Jericho dropkicks him. He follows that up with a hurricanrana. A spinning heel kick by Jericho gets 2. Jericho goes for another crappy bulldog, but Angle clotheslines him. Jericho escapes an Olympic Slam attempts and puts Angle into the Walls of Jericho. Stephanie McMahon runs out and distracts the referee as Angle is tapping. Jericho goes over to complain to the referee and Angle shoves him into the referee. Stephanie comes in and tries to hit Jericho with her belt, but nails Angle on accident. Jericho grabs Stephanie and lays a big kiss on her. That allows Angle to get up and hit him with the Olympic Slam. Angle covers and gets the 3 count.

BL: A really solid match here that got the crowd back into it after that last stinker. A clean finish would have been preferable, but Stephanie’s interference actually led to something, so I’ll let it slide. It’s just a shame this happened in the quarterfinals. *** ½ WWF Booking 4, Common Sense 0

- Shane complains to his dad that he didn’t keep his cool with Linda. He would have liked outside interference allowed in the match. Vince says don’t worry, he’s still “Joe Cool”. Sounds to me like Vince is more naïve than when Charlie Brown is playing football.

Talk about bonehead moves…they also gave Too Cool the tag straps for some reason. Why derail the reign of such awesome champs as Edge and Christian for these two jokes. The former champs still bring the funny though as they reenact the Buckner incident for tonight’s five-second pose. Albert and Jeff start off for this match. Albert uses his power to dominate Jeff. Jeff makes a blind tag to Matt and they double-team Albert. Test in now and he boots Matt. As Matt goes for the Twist of Fate, Trish gets on the apron. Matt goes over and takes a swing at her. No wonder the guy can’t keep a girlfriend. Then Lita comes over and clotheslines Trish from behind. Test grabs Lita, but she slaps him. Matt hits Test with the Twist of Fate and covers, but Albert breaks it up. Albert grabs Lita, but Matt dropkicks him. This allows Test to grab Matt and give him the pump handle slam. As Test covers, Jeff hits him with the Swanton Bomb. Jeff takes out Albert, as Matt covers Test for 3. It’s now Scotty and Jeff in there. As Scotty does some moonwalking, Christian tags himself in. A flying legdrop by Matt gets a nearfall on Christian. Edge distracts Matt as Christian attacks Jeff on the floor. A double clothesline drops Edge and Jeff. With the referee distracted, Lita hits Edge with a hurricanrana. Jeff covers and gets 2. Matt escapes an Unprettier attempt and hits Christian with the Twist of Fate. He covers, but Edge pulls him off. Jeff tries for a Swanton Bomb, but Edge knocks him down. As Matt goes for the Twist of Fate on Edge, Christian grabs him and gives him the Unprettier. Christian covers and gets the pinfall. We’re down to Edge and Christian and Too Cool. Sexay is in with Edge and hits him with a neckbreaker. Now Too Cool double-team Edge. A distraction by Christian allows Edge to hit Scotty with a spinning heel kick. A Russian legsweep by Christian gets a nearfall. A dropkick by Sexay gets Edge tied up in the ropes. Christian frees Edge, but then Sexay catapults Edge into Christian. Sexay rolls up Edge for 2. Edge and Christian flapjack Sexay and then try to do the Worm. Scotty comes in and bulldogs both of them. Then Scotty hits Edge with the Worm. Christian tries using one of the belts on Sexay, but misses. Scotty holds Edge as Sexay gives him the Hip Hop Drop. As the referee escorts Scotty out of the ring, Christian hits Sexay with the belt. Edge rolls over and covers him for 3. New champs!

BL: Finally something has gone right tonight. The first half of this match was awesome. Not surprisingly, Too Cool was barely involved in it. Once it got down to the two teams, things dragged a bit. However, they saved themselves with the finish. **** WWF Booking 4, Common Sense 1

- Cole asks Crash about his Cinderella story and Crash gets indignant. He says he’s been an overachiever all his life. His focus, however, seems more on Patterson and Brisco than Angle. Crash has been hit in the head with a chair one too many times, if all he can think about is those two.

These two have some history, but that isn’t a justification for having them go over Benoit and Eddie. A stiff kick by Rikishi knocks Val to the floor. The two brawl around ringside. Back inside, Rikishi legdrops Val and then splashes him in the corner. An armbar takedown by Val stops Rikishi’s momentum. Now Val begins to work on Rikishi’s injured arm. Val drops Rikishi with a DDT. Val goes up for the Money Shot, but Rikishi gets back up and catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Rikishi covers and gets 3.

Postmatch: Trish tries to attack Rikishi, but Rikishi takes her down. Rikishi tries to give Trish a butt splash, but Val stops him. Then Val attacks Rikishi’s injured arm more with the steps and a chair.

BL: Wow, I’m so glad they put these two in the semis so they could have this brief, pointless match. I mean the action was all right, but then they just ended it abruptly. I seriously wonder what the bookers are thinking tonight. * ¼ WWF Bookers 5, Common Sense 1

- More hilarity ensues as Brisco’s dress and pumps arrive for him. All the booze in the world couldn’t make this whole situation even remotely funny.

Some quick back and forth action to begin. Angle connects with a double underarm suplex. Angle gives Crash some rough turnbuckle treatment. A suplex by Angle gets 2. Crash tries coming back with some kicks in the corner. Crash goes up and hits a missile dropkick. That gets a nearfall. Angle gives Crash a hot shot and follows that up with the Olympic Slam. Angle covers and easily gets the cover.

BL: The winners of the semis really had to work hard, didn’t they? Another wasteful effort here. You could tell Angle put no effort into this and was thinking, “Just give me the crown already”. Why bother having a tournament when a guy doesn’t have to break a sweat to reach the finals. ½ * WWF Booking 6, Common Sense 1

- Cole interviews Kane and Coachman interviews Taker. Both of them indicate that they want to win the WWF title. Both of these guys need to take a lesson from Vince and start to play it “cool”.

They actually gave this match a video package. The only humorous part was seeing Vince’s anger and disgust upon seeing these two rolling around in dresses. Patterson comes out with a shopping cart filled with such “hardcore” times as toilet paper and teddy bears. Patterson offers to lay down for Brisco, but when they hug, Patterson knees him. Then Patterson tries to shove a banana down Brisco’s mouth. Things just get better as Patterson pulls up his dress, pulls out a tampon, and shoves it in Brisco’s face. When Patterson goes for a Stinkface, Brisco low blows him. The two duke it out as the crowd shits all over the match. Brisco whips Patterson and then gives him the Bronco Buster. As Brisco mounts Patterson, Crash comes out and attacks both of them. Crash hits Patterson with a trash can and pins him for 3 to become the new Hardcore champion.

BL: The “happy ending” doesn’t make up for the fact that we had to sit through that mess. There is no way anyone could have found what Patterson and Brisco were doing to be funny. A complete waste of PPV time that could have been given to the semifinal matches. Everyone should thank me for sitting through this again just for the sake of my readers. - **** (Crash’s win saves it from the dreaded negative five stars) WWF Booking 7, Common Sense 1

The match ends when either both Dudleyz are put into the dumpster or all three DX members are put through tables. As Bubba tries to stalk Tori, Road Dogg attacks him. A distraction by Road Dogg allows X-Pac to hit D-Von with a spinning heel kick. Tori comes in and lays some kicks in on D-Von. A double clothesline allows D-Von to tag Bubba. Bubba comes in and cleans house. The Dudleyz give Road Dogg and X-Pac diving headbutts down low. Then they give one to Tori and D-Von stays between Tori’s legs a little bit longer. Road Dogg and X-Pac appear as if they want to leave. The Dudleyz stop them and attack them in the aisle. DX comes back and whips the Dudleyz into the dumpster. They put both Dudleyz in the dumpster and close the lid. However, the referee hasn’t seen it as he’s tending to Tori. In the time, it takes the referee to come over, the Dudleyz slide out a side door and crawl under the ring. The referee checks inside the dumpster and nobody’s home. The Dudleyz come out the other side and blast DX with chairs. The Dudleyz stack tables two-high outside the ring and then from in the ring powerbomb Road Dogg through them. X-Pac drops D-Von with a spinning heel kick and lays him on a table in the ring. X-Pac climbs up, but Bubba crotches him. Then D-Von climbs up and superplexes him through the table. Now the Dudleyz begin to stalk Tori. Scared, she goes and hides in the dumpster. As the Dudleyz go to get her, DX nails both of them with chairs. The Dudleyz fall into the dumpster and DX closes the lids for the victory.

Postmatch: The Dudleyz come out of the dumpster with Tori. DX tries to save her, but they both receive 3-Ds for their troubles. Then the Dudleyz finally put Tori through a table.

BL: Why oh why do you have DX go over once again. There’s nothing gained by that and the Dudleyz look like chumps for losing. Sure they got the last laugh, but they could have done that by winning the match as well. The rules for this match were too contrived to make this decent. They tried being too cute in coming up with a way to end this feud and they should have stayed simple instead. ** ¼ WWF Booking 8, Common Sense 1

Angle meets Rikishi in the aisle and Rikishi wins the slugfest. Angle tries to slam Rikishi to no avail. Rikishi gives Angle some rough turnbuckle treatment. Rikishi tries to give Angle a Stinkface, but Angle blocks it. On the outside, Angle whips Rikishi into the steps. After a lot of punching and kicking by Angle, Rikishi stops him with a Samoan Drop. After splashing Angle in the corner, Rikishi gives Angle the Stinkface. Angle pops up, however, and delivers the Olympic Slam. Rikishi somehow kicks out at 2. Angle goes for a sunset flip, but Rikishi sits on him. That gets a nearfall. Rikishi climbs up top and gets crotched. Angle climbs up and gives Rikishi a belly-to-belly suplex from the top. Angle crawls over, covers and gets the pinfall.

BL: A complete lackluster final. It could have been an awesome final with Angle facing Jericho or Eddie, but somebody was too stupid to realize that. Having Angle win King of the Ring was the right move. It’s just a shame he couldn’t have had a better match to cap off his victory. This one’s a draw as far as thinking goes. * ½ WWF Booking 9, Common Sense 2

Whoever gets the pinfall will become the WWF Champ. Shane takes a cheap shot on Kane to begin. Kane allows Shane to take a free shot, which he then no-sells. Shane bails to the floor, but Taker throws him back in. Kane press slams Shane and then tries to chokeslam him. Vince comes in to stop him, but Kane grabs him too. Finally, HHH comes in and hits him from behind. After Kane clotheslines the McMahons, The Rock leans over and tags himself in. HHH baits The Rock to allow Shane to hit him from behind. The Rock comes back and launches Shane to the floor. Taker tags himself in and goes after Shane. Taker chokeslams Shane and covers, but The Rock pulls him off. HHH in now and he goes after Taker. A boot by Taker gets him a nearfall. Taker DDTs HHH and covers and this time Kane breaks it up. The Rock tags himself back in. As The Rock is whipped to the ropes, HHH pulls the rope down and The Rock falls to the floor. Now all the heels attack The Rock on the outside. Taker and Kane come over to break it up. All six men brawl around ringside. In the ring, HHH connects with the Pedigree on The Rock. He covers and The Rock kicks out at 2. I’m pretty sure Taker was supposed to break that up. The heels work over The Rock in their corner. Frequent tags have put the heels in control. A neckbreaker by HHH gets 2. The Rock tries to fight back, but Vince drops him with a lowblow. A Samoan Drop by The Rock gets 2. Everyone comes in and soon Kane and Taker take out the McMahons. All of a sudden, Kane attacks Taker and throws him into the steps. As The Rock goes for the People’s Elbow, Kane comes in and gives him a chokeslam. Kane tombstones HHH, but Taker pulls him out of the ring. Taker attacks Kane and blasts him with a chair. Shane climbs up top, but Taker grabs him and throws him off and into the announce table. Big bump there! Vince finds himself alone in the ring with The Rock. Vince goes for the Corporate Elbow, but The Rock pops up and gives him the Rock Bottom. The Rock covers “Joe Cool” and gets the three count. We have a new champion!

BL: This was a pretty pathetic way to get the title back on The Rock. Just like the dumpster/table match, the rules here made the match pretty convoluted. The action was pretty vanilla up until the end. Then, as things were picking up, it just as quickly ended. It really seemed like everyone was phoning it in here. ** ½

Final Thoughts: I don’t know what happened here. After a string of awesome PPVs, it was as if the regular writers went on summer vacation. They failed to showcase their assets and decided to promote novelty acts like Rikishi and Crash Holly. A few matches had some decent action, but the poor booking decision really hurt this show. I was in a constant state of frustration watching the show and you will likely feel the same way if you decide to watch this show.

Next time, we see why Mick Foley hates Canadians