Bottom Line: A disappointingly short match. Tazz and Spike worked well as the ultimate underdogs and the crowd was certainly behind them. Given the Dudley’s dominance in the tag division in 2001, it’s surprising to see them get disposed here so quickly. They hit all the notes that they needed to here, but they could have used to hold them longer. Despite the brevity, the crowd got into this one. ** ¼

- Lillian Garcia asks Edge about his upcoming match with William Regal. Edge says that if Regal wants to play dirty, that’s fine. He can get dirty too. Yeah, we all learned that when he started to sleep with Lita.

Before the match, the referee checks under the ring for brass knuckles. The referee then checks Regal and finds a pair on him. How did those get there? As Regal protests, Edge attacks him to begin the match. Edge rams Regal’s face into the mat trying to break his nose again. Regal slows down Edge with a kneelift. A backslide by Edge gets 2. Edge hits Regal with a stiff enziguri, but Regal comes back with a scary looking release German suplex. That gets 2. These two are starting to get real physical. Regal goes for a double underhook powerbomb, but Edge reverses it into a backdrop. However, Regal holds on to Edge’s arms and then hits the original powerbomb. That gets another nearfall. Good sequence. A forearm by Regal sends Edge to the apron. Regal tries for a double-arm DDT on the apron, but Edge reverses it into a DDT of his own. Back inside, both men go down after colliding in the corner. Regal delivers another release German suplex, but Edge gets back up and clotheslines him. That gets 2. Regal avoids the Edgecution and puts him in the Regal Stretch. Edge crawls and makes it to the ropes. Edge gets free and then puts Regal in the Regal Stretch. Regal, however, quickly escapes. Edge dropkicks Regal and then rolls him up for 2. Edge and Regal battle on the top rope and then Edge shoves him down. He then follows that up with a spinning heel kick from the top. Edge goes for the spear, but Regal pulls the referee in front of him and he gets hit. Regal pulls another pair of brass knuckles out of his trunks and nails Edge with them. Regal covers and the referee slowly crawls over and makes the 3 count. New champ!

Postmatch: Michael Cole questions Regal on the validity of his win and Regal says it’s all thanks to the “Power of the Punch”.

BL: I have mixed feelings on this one. These two were really stiff with each other, which I liked. However, this match needed a better flow to it. Neither man would let the other get into a rhythm. The ending kinda stunk too. I have no problem with Regal using the knux for the win, but the whole sequence wasn’t smooth. It seemed like they could have done without the ref bump and still had Regal cheat some other way. At least these two get to try again because this feud is not over. ** ¾

Jazz doesn’t even let Trish get into the ring before she attacks her. She continues her assault as Trish struggles to get her coat off. A big splash by Jazz gets 2. The two now exchange rapid-fire nearfalls. Jazz grabs Trish and drops her across the top rope. Jazz legdrops Trish and gets 2. Now Jazz works over Trish’s hand, which she injured on Smackdown. Jacqueline tries to break it up, which prompts Jazz to get in her face. The two get into a brief shoving match before Trish rolls Jazz up. Jazz reverses it and gets a nearfall of her own. Trish escapes a back suplex and delivers the Stratusfaction. She covers, but Jazz kicks out at 2. Jazz plants Trish with a DDT and gets 2. Jazz begins to give Trish some rough turnbuckle treatment. Trish boots a charging Jazz and then bulldogs her. That combo is good enough to give Trish the pinfall.

BL: There seemed to be some interesting elements to this match, yet they never really explored them. You had Jacqueline as a special guest referee and Trish with a pre-existing injury going into this match. Both could have been factors in the finish, but instead it ends with an out-of-nowhere bulldog. This match really did no favors for either of its competitors. *

They’re only two months into their partnership and they already hate each other’s guts. No big surprise there. We get the epic staredown and then the two lockup. Vince shoves Flair down and then poses. Lawler is being unnecessarily over-the-top in his fawning of Vince’s physique. Vince knocks Flair down again then does the Flair strut. Vince takes Flair to the corner and chops him. However, Flair turns it around and gives Vince some of his trademark chops. Vince goes back to work on Flair and we get our first Flair Flop on the night. Then Vince whips Flair to the corner. Flair tries to do his corner bump, but can’t quite get over. On the apron, Flair is knocked to the floor with a clothesline by Vince. In the aisle, Vince hits Flair with a street sign. Flair’s been busted open. Wow, I’m shocked. Vince nails Flair with a trash can and then throws him into the post and steps. It’s been almost all Vince thus far. As he continues his attack, Vince takes photos of Flair with his daughter’s camera. Now Vince applies the figure four leglock. Flair manages to turn it over to break the hold. Vince grabs a lead pipe, but before he can use it, Flair lowblows him. On the outside, Flair chops away on Vince. Flair grabs a TV monitor and nails Vince with it, right in the face. Now Vince has been bloodied. Flair takes Vince over by his daughter, so she can now take pictures of Vince. Back in the ring, Vince begs for mercy, but Flair has none. Flair picks up the lead pipe and cracks it over Vince’s head. Flair then puts Vince in the figure four. Vince tries to fight it, but eventually taps out.

BL: A very basic and somewhat boring street fight. Vince dominated the first half and Flair was in control for the second half. I would have liked if Flair’s half was longer and more involved. He really didn’t do a whole lot once he went on the offensive. The way the match played out, there just wasn’t a whole lot of drama. The fact that nothing was on the line here also hurt this match. I mean, why were they fighting? They’re still going to have to be co-owners come tomorrow. An all-right match that could have been so much more. ***

- Michael Cole asks Nick Patrick about the controversial Regal/Edge match, but before he can answer, Stephanie McMahon interrupts. She goes on and on about how HHH is going to win the Rumble. She then talks smack about Austin’s wife, Debra. Conveinently, Austin hears this and approaches her. He then scares her away with all his “Whats?” Man, I think “What?” holds the record for the catchphrase that went from cool to lame in the fastest time.

Jericho talks trash to The Rock and tells him to “bring it”. The Rock does just that and gets an early pinfall with a Samoan drop. Jericho is forced to go outside for a breather. The Rock chases after him and greets him back inside with a spear. Jericho slows The Rock’s momentum with a flying forearm. Jericho misses a charge and rams his shoulder into the post. Jericho recovers and drops The Rock across the top rope. A spinning heel kick by Jericho gets 2. After a suplex, Jericho gives the “C’mon baby” cover and gets 2. As the referee checks on The Rock, Jericho removes a turnbuckle pad. A missile dropkick by Jericho gets another nearfall. Jericho climbs up top, but The Rock crotches him. The Rock chops away on Jericho and then gives him a superplex. The Rock hammers away on Jericho and then hits him with an overhead throw. That gets 2. Jericho comes back with his crappy bulldog and then connects with two Lionsaults. Jericho covers, but The Rock kicks out at 2. Jericho argues with the referee, but nothing comes of it. Jericho tries for a missile dropkick, but The Rock catches him and applies the Sharpshooter. Suddenly, Lance Storm and Christian run down the aisle. Jericho taps, but the referee is tied up with Storm. Christian tries to nail The Rock with the title, but The Rock avoids it and knocks him out of the ring. However, Jericho is able to hit The Rock with the Rock Bottom. Jericho covers and again only gets 2. Now Nick Patrick runs down and chases Storm and Christian to the back. Jericho goes for the People’s Elbow, but The Rock pops up and throws him to the floor. The two now fight by the announce tables. Jericho tries to Rock Bottom The Rock through the Spanish announce table, but The Rock blocks it and delivers the move to Jericho through the other announce table. The Rock drags Jericho back in the ring and covers, but Jericho kicks out at 2. Jericho fights out of another Rock Bottom and puts The Rock in the Walls of Jericho. Somehow, The Rock makes it to the ropes. When Jericho tries to put the hold on again, The Rock cradles him for 2. The Rock goes for a flying forearm, but he misses Jericho and nails the referee on accident. Jericho then hits The Rock with the title belt. Jericho covers and Patrick runs back out. He counts, but The Rock kicks out at 2. Jericho tries to pick up The Rock, but The Rock grabs him and delivers a DDT. The Rock covers, but Patrick refuses to count. So The Rock gets up and gives him a Rock Bottom. He then gives Jericho a spinebuster and People’s Elbow. The Rock covers, but there’s no referee. As The Rock checks on Earl Hebner, Jericho lowblows him. He then rams The Rock’s head into the exposed corner. Jericho covers The Rock with his feet on the ropes and a groggy Hebner registers the 3 count.

BL: I’ll admit that the Rock/Jericho matches never quite did it for me. I don’t know what it was, but I never found them to be as great as some. Still, these two worked another solid match here and I can’t deny that. This one may not be as good as their previous efforts because they really brought nothing new to the table here. It’s a shame Jericho had to cheat so much, but that’s how his title reign would be defined. This is a good match, just not a personal favorite of mine. ****

- The loser at WWF NY tonight is…Shawn Michaels, who gives his predictions on the Rumble match. For some odd reason, Shawn has decided to emphasize his home state tonight by wearing a button-down shirt of the Texas flag and a cowboy hat. Shawn’s just asking for a repeat of his Syracuse beating wearing an outfit like that.

Rikishi is #1 and Goldust is #2. That is perhaps the oddest pairing to start off the Rumble. By the way, Goldust is one of four superstars making their big return tonight in this match. The two trade rights to begin. Rikishi hurls Goldust over, but he hangs on. Upon re-entry, Goldust goes low on him. Rikishi dumps Goldust again, but again he hangs on. #3 enters and it’s the Big Boss Man. Goldust and the Bossman try to team up, but Rikishi fends them both off. Nothing much happens when Bradshaw comes out at #4. He comes in and manhandles everyone. Rikishi knocks down the Bossman and gives him the Stinkface. Rikishi kicks the Bossman and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Lance Storm comes out at #5 and he goes after Goldust. Rikishi tries to eliminate Bradshaw, while Storm tries to get rid of Goldust. #6 is Al Snow and he attacks everything in sight. Bradshaw blasts Storm with the Clothesline from Hell, but can’t get rid of him. We’ve yet to get a major name in this Rumble as #7 is Billy Gunn. Some of my least favorite stars are in the ring right now. Gunn comes in and gets jumped by Bradshaw. Storm and Snow get each other onto the apron. Snow blocks a kick by Storm and then delivers a kick of his own to eliminate him. Bradshaw gets Goldust onto the apron, but as he tries to kick him to the floor. Gunn comes from behind and dumps him out of the ring. Suddenly things perk up because here’s the Undertaker at #8. Taker comes in and destroys everybody. Out goes Goldust, out goes Snow, out goes Rikishi and finally out goes Gunn. Taker is standing tall and standing alone. Matt Hardy has the unfortunate luck of being #9. The Hardyz have history with Taker, as he recently put both of them and Lita on the shelf. Taker quickly tries to chokeslam Matt when Lita comes in and tries to help. Taker grabs her too, but she kicks him low. Now Matt and Lita put the boots to Taker. As Taker tries to suplex Matt out of the ring, he gets saved by his brother Jeff, who’s out at #10. The Hardyz now begin to double-team Taker. They go for Poetry in Motion, but Taker catches Jeff and dumps him to the floor. Taker then gives Matt the Last Ride and eliminates him.

The sorry sap at #11 is Tough Enough winner, Maven. Taker begins to attack Maven, but the Hardyz come in and jump him again. Taker disposes of them again, but as he talks trash, Maven dropkicks him from behind and knocks him out of the ring. A huge crowd pop for that shocker. Taker comes back in the ring and begins to attack Maven. Taker takes him out of the ring and blasts him with a chair. As the beatdown continues, Scotty 2 Hotty strolls out at #12. Taker knocks down Scotty and then goes back to Maven. Taker takes Maven into the crowd and continues the assault. As Christian comes out at #13, Taker attacks Maven by the concession stand by throwing him through the glass of a popcorn cart. Neither Maven, nor Scotty have been eliminated, but since Christian is the only one in the ring, he takes a rest on the ropes. Scotty finally makes it in and dukes it out with Christian. Meanwhile, Maven for all intents and purposes has been eliminated. As they fight, DDP enters at #14. DDP hits Christian with the Diamond Cutter, but then Scotty kicks him and he falls through the ropes. Scotty then bulldogs Christian and gives him the Worm. However, DDP comes in and throws him out of the ring. The #15 entrant is Chuck Palumbo, who gets into a slugfest with DDP. We get more nothingness when the Godfather returns at #16. The Godfather brings out an entire row of hos and dances with them. While that happens, Christian and Palumbo team up to eliminate DDP off-screen. The Godfather’s antics last the whole two minutes and it’s already time for Albert to come out at #17. He comes in and manhandles everyone. As Albert tries to get rid of the Godfather, Christian and Palumbo come from behind and throw him to the floor. The Godfather attempts the Ho Train on both Christian and Palumbo. However, they both avoid it and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Christian and Palumbo start to go at it when Perry Saturn arrives at #18. The three blandly fight for two minutes. The boredom ends when Austin enters at #19. Not surprisingly, he eliminates all three in quick fashion. Realizing he has time to kill, he brings Christian and Palumbo back in and eliminates them again. Austin checks his watch again and waits until another returning star, Val Venis comes out at #20. Austin brings Val in and quickly stomps a mudhole in him. Val starts to mount an offensive, but Austin comes back with the Lou Thesz Press.

Now the #21 entrant, Test makes his way to the ring. Test and Val team up to attack Austin. Heel miscommunication leads to Test giving Val the big boot. Austin is then able to clothesline Val out of the ring. Test goes for the boot on Austin, but misses. Austin then gives him a Stunner and eliminates him. As Austin waits, he gets some competition at #22 in the form of HHH, who’s recently back from quad surgery. The two do a long staredown before going at it. Just as they start going at it, the Hurricane arrives at #23. When he enters, both men are down. He tries to chokeslam both men, but they just look at him and then throw him out of the ring. Austin and HHH go at it again, when we get our #24 entrant, Farooq. Farooq tries to divide and conquer, but soon he suffers a Stunner and then gets clotheslined out by HHH. Austin and HHH continue to go at it when the best of the returning stars, Mr. Perfect joins us at #25. Perfect takes his time to come in, but then jumps Austin when he does. As Austin and HHH try to get Perfect out, he’s able to spit out his gum and swat it away. Truly awesome! Making his first Rumble appearance, here’s Kurt Angle at #26. We’ve paired off now with Angle taking on HHH and Austin squaring off against Perfect. The crowd starts a “You Suck”, “What?” chant. Nice! Angle gets close to eliminating HHH when Austin makes the save. Big Show arrives at #27 and he destroys everybody. Show’s in complete control, but he hasn’t eliminated anyone. Now Kane comes out at #28. He and Show duke it out, but nobody moves. Kane lowblows Show and then slams him over the top rope to get rid of him. Wow! Kane turns around and receives a Stunner from Austin. Angle then gives him an Angle Slam to the floor. Double wow! We’re back to that foursome duking it out. RVD enters at #29 and with perfect timing. Angle lying on the mat, so RVD enters by giving him the Five Star Frog Splash. He then kicks down everyone and gives Austin rolling thunder. However, he turns around and receives the Pedigree from HHH. Our final entrant tonight is the five-time WCW champ, Booker T. He comes in and tosses out RVD, who was still out from the Pedigree. Major bummer there. With everyone else preoccupied, Booker decides to do a Spinaroonie. When he pops up though, he gets hit with a Stunner that knocks him over the top rope and to the floor.

We’re left with a Final Four of: Austin, Angle, Perfect and HHH. That’s a pretty awesome quartet. Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Austin, but he escapes and tries for a Stunner. Angle shoves him off and into HHH, who attempts to give him a Pedigree. Austin reverses that and catapults HHH into the turnbuckle. Angle follows that up with an Angle Slam on HHH. Awesome sequence! Now Angle gives Austin three German suplexes. Angle and Perfect try to eliminate Austin, but can’t get it done. Austin hoists Perfect up, but Angle runs up and dumps Austin to the floor. Shocking! Austin pulls Perfect out of the ring and starts to attack him. Angle comes out and throws Austin into the steps. As Angle and Perfect put the boots to HHH, Austin comes in with a chair and blasts both of them. Then he nails HHH. Perfect holds HHH for Angle, but Angle accidentally clotheslines Perfect instead. Perfect and Angle now battle. Perfect hits Angle with the Perfectplex and Perfect neckbreaker. However, HHH gets up and clotheslines him out of the ring. HHH tackles Angle and punches away on him. Angle comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. HHH charges and Angle backdrops him over the top rope. Angle thinks he’s won, but HHH held on. HHH comes back in, gives Angle a facebuster and then clotheslines him out of the ring to win the 2002 Royal Rumble.

BL: They certainly back-loaded this Rumble. Aside from Taker’s shocking elimination, nothing interesting happened for the first 2/3rds of this Rumble. This was perhaps the weakest Rumble roster in quite some time. The last part of the Rumble was solid, but not strong enough to make this a great one. The returning stars were nice, but it would have been better had they been surprises. In the end, the HHH win wasn’t terribly shocking, but it was the right move, given he was a top star returning from a lengthy injury. *** ½

Final Thoughts: Given the lineup for this show, this could have been so much better. Nothing out right stunk, but with each match, there seemed to be obvious things that you could point out and explain how they could have been executed better. It just seems like they didn’t put a whole lot of forethought into this show. The end result is an average show that doesn’t get you all that interested in the Road to Wrestlemania. You won’t hate this show, but you won’t find it all that compelling either.

Next time, I hope the WWF has a good HMO, because it appears that they’ve just been poisoned.