Your commentators are Jim Ross, Jerry “the King” Lawler, Michael Cole and Tazz

- No shake-up this month, but the show does kick off with a cute segment involving Kane nonchalantly asking the Undertaker, “So, how was your week?”
 

So within a month’s time, Jericho lost the Intercontinental title and became a tag team champ with Christian, who was a tag champ with Storm as part of the now defunct UnAmericans. So much for long-

Bottom Line: I’d like to place all the blame on the rope breaking for the problems in this match, but I can’t. They sadly began well before the unfortunate mishap. For whatever reason, nobody really seemed into this. They were just doing a series of moves without putting much thought into them or trying to tell a story. The real issue here was between Booker and Jericho, but they shoehorned that feud into this tag title match and it killed the heat. A lackluster opener. * ¾

- Smackdown’s Num-bah One Announcer, Funaki interviews Torrie Wilson’s father, Al, about his escapades with Torrie’s nemesis, Dawn Marie. After reviewing the activities of the past month, Funaki finally asks his big question; “Why was Al wearing clothes when he was in the shower with Dawn”. Al gives his best Bill Clinton response about not having sexual relations with her. The Arkansas crowd likes it, but I groan. Thankfully, Funaki was funny enough for the both of them.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie [Smackdown match]

Torrie dropkicks Dawn off the apron and then attacks her on the floor to get this underway. Dawn comes back by booting a charging Torrie. Dawn drops Torrie against the top rope, but again Torrie dropkicks her to the floor. Dawn rams Torrie’s back into the apron and then tosses her back in the ring. Inside, Dawn works over the back of Torrie. Torrie avoids a clothesline and tackles Dawn. The two roll around and of course roll over the ref. We get some more pedestrian action from both with neither sustaining an advantage. Torrie suplexes Dawn and gets a nearfall. Torrie catapults Dawn into the corner and rolls her up for 2. After hotshotting Dawn, Torrie gives her a swinging neckbreaker. That thankfully is enough to get her the victory.

BL: I could easily go on at length about how much this match stunk, which it did. But I hate being mean to people when it was apparent that they were legitimately trying in there. They may not have the skills to put on a good match, but they actually attempted to wrestle and for that I commend them. But in the future, let’s do everybody a favor and not put these two on PPV again. OK? Thanks. ¾ *

- Jonathan Coachman chats with RVD about his match with Ric Flair tonight. Given what Flair did to RVD last month, you would expect an angry, revenge-filled promo, but instead RVD cuts a comedy promo where he mocks Flair’s typical promo. We’re 0 for 2 in the attempted humor department tonight.

- After RVD leaves, Coach spots Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman and Tracy, the woman accusing the Undertaker of having an affair. Tracy reiterates her scripted points that Taker is a liar and a scumbag and that he’ll get his inside Hell in a Cell. Isn’t Hell in a Cell enough of a selling point? Do we really need this tacky storyline added into the build?

Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair [RAW match]

If you need to know why they’re fighting, go read the Unforgiven review. RVD chases Flair outside and attacks him. RVD connects with a legdrop on Flair across the barricade. Inside, Rolling Thunder by RVD gets 2. RVD whips Flair, who tries his corner bump, but can’t stick the landing. A springboard kick by RVD gets another nearfall. It’s been all RVD thus far. Behind the ref’s back, Flair mule kicks RVD. Flair chopblocks RVD in the knee, so he’ll be focusing on that now for the immediate future. As RVD tries to retaliate, Flair thumbs him in the eye. After hitting a back suplex, Flair locks on the figure four leglock. RVD manages to roll toward the ropes, but Flair remains on the offensive. A backslide by RVD gets 2. RVD goes for a dropkick, but Flair holds onto the rope. Flair attempts the figure four again, but RVD cradles him for 2. Flair elbows a charging RVD and goes up top, but RVD slams him off. RVD hits Rolling Thunder and gets 2. RVD now goes up and connects with the Five Star Frog Splash. The pinfall afterwards is academic and RVD wins it.

BL: This one had mismatch written all over it. Flair’s too old to handle RVD’s atheletic style and RVD’s lack of selling skills makes Flair’s psychology useless. A dull match that easily could have been done on RAW instead. The crowd was at a loss here as well. RVD’s popularity was starting to wane and Flair wasn’t over enough in his new heel yet. **

- Backstage, Big Show complains to Stephanie McMahon about the treatment he’s receiving on RAW. Eric Bischoff catches them talking and chews him out. When Bischoff tries to show who’s boss, Show grabs him and threatens physical violence. I’m sure a tough guy like Bischoff won’t be intimidated with threats like that.

- With this being the last night of the Intercontinental title, they do a video package which chronicles its history. I never thought a video package on an inanimate object could bring a tear to my eye, but this came pretty close. Given the way the title has been treated since its subsequent return, I wonder sometimes whether or not it should have stayed retired.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match: Jamie Noble (champ) vs. Tajiri

As Noble tries to enter the ring, Tajiri dropkicks him. Then he moonsaults out of the ring onto him. Inside, Noble recovers and works over Tajiri in the corner. Noble catches him in the corner and delivers an electric chair. Tajiri tries for a crucifix, but Noble turns it into a Samoan drop and gets 2. Noble has been slowly working away on Tajiri’s back. Noble attempts a move from the top rope, but Tajiri knocks him down. Tajiri tries for a moonsault, but Noble avoids it. Tajiri recovers though and hits Noble with a tornado DDT. Tajiri now just kicks away on Noble. After a handspring elbow, a stiff kick by Tajiri gets a nearfall. Tajiri delivers a surfboard airplane spin and then scores a 2 count off of a German suplex. Tajiri locks on the Tarantula and then goes for the big kick, but Noble ducks it. Noble attempts the tiger bomb, but Tajiri reverses it and catapults Noble into the corner. Tajiri delivers the big kick and covers, but Nidia is distracting the referee. Noble hits Tajiri with the tiger bomb and covers, but Tajiri somehow kicks out at 2 ¾. Noble attempts another tiger bomb, but Tajiri escapes. Tajiri climbs on Noble for a victory roll, but Nidia grabs Noble’s leg, which allowed him to land on top and keep Tajiri down for 3.

Postmatch: Tajiri grabs Nidia and makes out with her. Angered, Noble takes Nidia and shows Tajiri how a real man kisses. This allows Tajiri to kick him in the back of the head.

BL: I’ll give this match a nice backhanded comment and call it match of the night thus far. It’s the best we’ve seen, but it was far from great. Noble tried working some psychology in by attacking Tajiri’s back, but too much of the action was punching and kicking. Once again the cruiser match fails to have a storyline built into the match and as a result the crowd doesn’t care. ** ½

- Chris Benoit hunts down Eddie Guerrero and tells him that Angle is attacking Chavo in his dressing room. Eddie sees that this is similar to the set-up attack they sprung on Benoit and Angle recently and thinks it’s a trap. Suddenly, Chavo falls out of the dressing room battered by Angle. Benoit and Angle leave together laughing. Separately those two are dangerous, when they’re on the same page, it’s downright scary. By the way, it nice to occasionally see the lying, cheating, and stealing mentality thrown back in Eddie’s face.

Champion vs. Champion Match: Triple H (World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Kane (Intercontinental Champion) [RAW match]

Bischoff decided to finish his quest to consolidate titles by having the World and IC champs fight each other to produce one champion. That’s a big deal, but it became overshadowed once HHH decided to accuse Kane of being a murderer. From there, we learned the awful story of Katie Vick (she died in a car accident while Kane was driving) and then saw HHH pretend he was Kane and simulate having sex with Katie’s dead body. Needless to say, this was very worthy of Wrestlecrap’s Gooker award in 2002. Kane surprisingly doesn’t run over and immediately attack HHH. After getting attacked in the corner, HHH decides to go outside for a breather. When he tries to come back in, Kane kicks him into the barricade. Inside, a kick by Kane gives him a nearfall. Kane misses a charge and HHH hits him with a neckbreaker. Kane quickly sits up and goes back on offense. HHH catches Kane with his head down and hits him with a facebuster. HHH clotheslines Kane to the floor and takes a breather. Outside Kane grabs HHH and tries to chokeslam him, but HHH escapes and throws him into the post. Back inside, a slugfest breaks out and is won by HHH. A neckbreaker by HHH gets him a nearfall. Now HHH delivers two more. Kane elbows a charging HHH, but HHH comes right back with a spinebuster. Kane starts to mount some offense, but HHH grounds him with a sleeper. Kane escapes with a back suplex. Kane drops HHH with a side slam and then hits a top rope clothesline. Suddenly, Flair runs out to distract the referee. Kane knocks the referee down so he can grab Flair, but Flair drops him across the top rope. Flair brings the belt in the ring, but Kane nails him. HHH grabs the belt and hits Kane with it. HHH covers and gets a long 2 count. Now Kane’s recent tag partner, the Hurricane runs out and brawls with Flair. HHH goes out and Pedigrees the Hurricane on the floor. Back inside, Kane takes it to HHH. A slam by Kane gets 2. Kane catches HHH coming off the top rope and rams him into the corner. Then Kane sets HHH up top and tries a superplex, but HHH knocks him down. HHH then tries a move off the top rope, but Kane boots him. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but HHH escapes. When Kane attempts the big boot, HHH ducks and the referee gets nailed instead. The two head back outside where Kane chokeslams HHH through the Spanish announce table. Flair attacks Kane, but he no-sells it. Kane brings HHH back inside, but then Flair comes in and tries to use the sledgehammer. Kane sees it and takes it from him. As Kane tries to use it, HHH lowblows him. Kane manages to get HHH up for the Tombstone, but HHH hits him with the sledgehammer in the gut. Kane recovers and chokeslams HHH. He covers and a second referee comes out. However, Flair pulls the new ref out of the ring and nails him. Kane knocks down Flair again, but then HHH rams him into the corner. HHH then delivers the Pedigree to Kane. HHH revives the referee, who comes over and registers the 3 count.

BL: So long, IC belt. We hardly knew ye. It’s a shame the (temporary) end of its run came in such an overbooked mess. The first part of the match was a real bore. Things picked up nicely once Flair and the Hurricane showed up. However, what should have been the ending sequence turned into an endless series of false finishes, each one more annoying than the previous. The beginning of HHH’s World title reign has not gotten off to a good start. ** ½

- Tracy comes into Stephanie’s office and Stephanie manages to get her, with rather little coaxing, to admit that she has not slept with Taker since he’s been married. Taker then comes in and says he heard everything and she can now get lost. Wow, what a clever ruse they pulled there. Stephanie gets Tracy to speak “confidentially” to her (despite the obvious cameraman in the office) while Taker stands outside her door and listens. How long did it take those geniuses to come up with that one?

WWE Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: Edge and Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit [Smackdown match]

The brands continue to distinguish themselves by each having tag team champions. In order to crown new champs, Stephanie set up a tournament. Also, Stephanie put Angle and Benoit together as a team and says if they ever start to fight with one another, she’ll suspend both of them without pay. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Angle is pleased to see Rey is starting off for his team. Angle throws Rey to his corner and wants him to tag Edge. Rey refuses and wants to show Angle that he’s in his league. Rey uses his quickness to dominate Angle. Edge is tagged in and takes it to Angle as well. Benoit is in now and tries his luck with Edge. Edge knees a running Benoit and then hits him with a gutbuster. That gets 2. Edge continues to work on Benoit’s midsection until Benoit starts to chop away on him. Edge comes back with a flapjack. Angle nails Edge from the apron to stop his momentum. Edge is whipped to the ropes and he comes back and spears Angle off the apron. Edge rolls up Benoit, but when Benoit kicks out, Edge falls toward Angle, who drops him across the top rope. Angle and Benoit have now isolated Edge and work over his neck. Edge boots a charging Angle, but Angle comes right back with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Benoit is back in and he connects with the Hat Trick. Benoit goes up top, but Edge gets up and hits him. Then Edge gives him a superplex. Edge manages to crawl over and tag Rey. Rey comes in and takes out both of his opponents. Rey goes for a bulldog, but Benoit shoves him down and then applies the Crossface. Nice! Edge comes in and breaks it up. Rey dropkicks Benoit and goes for the 619. Benoit catches him through and puts him on his shoulder. Edge comes off the top rope and dropkicks them, causing Rey to cover Benoit for a nearfall. Rey climbs up top, but Angle pops up top and throws him off. Benoit crawls over, covers and gets 2. Angle is tagged in and begins to dominate Rey. An overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Angle on Rey gets 2. Now it’s Benoit’s turn to take it to Rey. Rey catches Benoit in the corner with a ‘rana that sends Benoit’s shoulder into the post. Rey tags Edge, who comes in and cleans house. The Edge-o-Matic gets 2 on Angle. Edge spears Benoit into the corner and then Rey gives him a Bronco Buster. Edge sets Angle up on top and then launches Rey onto him and he ‘ranas Angle to the mat. Edge covers, but moves when he sees Benoit coming down with the diving headbutt. Edge covers Angle again, but can only get 2. Angle comes back with a German suplex on Edge. As Angle waits for Edge, Edge launches Rey into him. Then Edge sets up for the spear, but Benoit trips him and locks him in the Crossface. While applying the hold, Rey comes over and hits him with the 619. Now Angle comes in and gives Rey the Angle Slam. Angle attempts the ankle lock on Edge, but he shoves him off and cradles him for 2. Edge spears Angle and covers, but Benoit breaks it up. Rey dropkicks Benoit to the floor and then Edge launches him onto Benoit. Inside, Angle blocks the Edgecution and puts on the ankle lock. Edge reverses it into an ankle lock of his own. Now Angle reverses it back. Edge struggles, but ultimately taps out. New champs!

BL: What else but greatness can you expect when you put these four together in one ring. Things actually started out a bit slow, but it was all right because they gave the match plenty of time to blossom. We ended up getting two Ricky Morton sequences here, which meant we also got two heat sequences as well. Everything was tremendous here. You had everybody hitting all of their trademark spots as well as some new stuff as well. Best of all, it finally woke up this comatose crowd in Arkansas. *****

- In the trainer’s room, Taker demands the trainer give him something for the pain in his “broken” right hand. A biting social commentary on the usage of drugs in sports entertainment or another really lame piece of storytelling for this feud? You be the judge.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Trish Stratus (champ) vs. Victoria [RAW match]

Victoria’s a newcomer to the WWE, so of course, she immediately became the #1 contender. A lockup between the two leads to some slapping. Victoria kicks down Trish in the corner, but Trish comes back with a clothesline. A kick by Trish gets 2. Victoria goes for a breather, but Trish comes out after her. Victoria sends Trish into the post and then drops her across the guardrail. Victoria throws Trish back in and then flips herself in and legdrops Trish. That gets 2. Victoria monkey flips Trish, but when she tries a second, Trish blocks it. Trish puts Victoria up top and then does the handspring ‘rana. Victoria puts Trish in a backbreaker, but Trish fights out of it. After a sidewalk slam, Victoria climbs up top. However, Trish gets up, puts her on her shoulders and delivers an electric chair. That gives Trish a nearfall. Trish nails Victoria with a chick kick and gets a long 2 count. Trish attempts the Stratusfaction, but Victoria shoves her off. However, Trish manages to roll her up and get a 3 count.

Postmatch: Victoria takes off Trish’s head with a boot to her face.

BL: Was that the planned finish? If so, that was pretty weak. The action preceding the finish was all right, if a bit disjointed. It was clear that both women had some ability, but they needed more time to work with each other. Given the lack of other participants in the women’s division, that turned out not to be a problem. * ¼

- The World’s biggest loser tonight is…Rikishi. He gives his thoughts about Hell in a Cell and says he hopes he never has to be in Hell in a Cell again. Wish granted!

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar (champ) vs. The Undertaker [Smackdown match]

Taker tries going right after Brock, but Brock dodges him. Brock whips Taker to the ropes and then powerslams him. That gets 2. Brock misses a charge and then Taker nails him in a midsection. Brock goes for a breather and tries to open the padlocked door of the cell. Taker chases after Brock, but Brock nails him when they reenter the ring. Brock begins to work over the broken hand of Taker. Taker nails Brock with his cast, but that hurts him as well. Brock has been busted open by that cast shot. Taker begins to attack Brock around ringside, sending him into the steps and cell. Taker gives Brock the old cheese grater spot. It’s all Taker right now. Taker legdrops Brock on the apron and then hits a move from the top rope, but I’m not sure what he was trying for. Heyman reaches for Brock through a hole, but Taker boots him. Brock charges at Taker, but misses and rams into Heyman. Now Taker charges at Brock, but Brock launches him into the cell. Then Brock rams Taker’s back into the post and into the cell. With everyone down, we see Heyman is bloodied as well. However, he’s able to give Brock his belt to use as a weapon. Brock ties Taker to the cell and then abuses his broken hand with a chair. As Brock tries to take off the cast, Taker begins to fight back. Finally Brock manages to get the cast off. Brock perches Taker up top and then swings from the cell’s ceiling to repeatedly kick Taker. Finally, Taker lowblows Brock and shoves him to the mat. Taker then delivers a top rope elbow. That gets a nearfall. Taker approaches Brock, who drops him across the top rope. However, Taker comes right back and boots Brock off the apron and into the cell. Taker goes for a tope and ends up ramming his head into the cell as well. Brock picks up the steps and rams them into Taker’s head. Taker is busted wide open and a bloody mess. In the ring, Taker tries to fight back, but Brock drops him with a spinebuster. That gets 2. Taker punches away on Brock and then stomps on his head. Taker attempts Old School, but Brock pulls him back down. Blood is just pouring out of Taker’s head. Brock gets Taker up for the F5, but Taker escapes and chokeslams him. He covers and gets a nearfall. Taker gives Brock some rough turnbuckle treatment. Brock nails a charging Taker and then attempts to give him a Last Ride, but Taker backdrops him. A DDT by Taker gets 2. Now Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Brock shoves him back to the corner. Brock starts a 10-punch count, but Taker powerbombs him. Taker covers and gets 2 ¾. Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Brock reverses it and then puts him on his shoulder and delivers the F5. Just like that, Brock covers him and gets the 1-2-3.

Postmatch: Brock gets out of the cell, grabs his title, and then climbs up top to celebrate.

BL: This is how Hell in a Cell matches should be. They should be down and dirty bloodbaths. These two gave each other everything and they have the battle scars to prove it. This match went a long way in solidifying Brock’s main event status. A lot of people bitch about Taker’s refusal to put people over, but he made Brock look like a million bucks tonight. This match redeems the crapiness of their fight last month. **** ¼

Final Thoughts: Somehow the WWE gets saved by the work of a few once again. This show was looking like an easy thumbs down until the last hour. The Smackdown tag match is just amazing and Taker delivers in the Cell once again. The WWE is lucky they had some great wrestling at this time because their storytelling was just abysmal at this point. This show, as a whole, isn’t worthy of buying. However, if you happen to get your hands on this DVD, do yourself a favor and watch those two matches.

Next time, the scary looking freak of nature that strikes fear into the hearts of wrestlers makes its debut. And no, I’m not talking about the Elimination Chamber.