Your commentators are Jim Ross, Jerry “the King” Lawler, Michael Cole, and Tazz
 

Since the Dudleyz are the only established face team on RAW, they naturally became the #1 contenders. The Dudleyz jump La Resistance in the aisle and throw them into the ring. D-Von

Postmatch: As Bubba wonders what happens, the cameraman nails him too. Spike Dudley runs out and gets jumped as well. Finally, the cameraman reveals himself to be Rob Conway, a guy who recently aligned himself with La Resistance and is a “French sympathizer”.

Bottom Line: If you’ve seen one Dudley Boyz match, you’ve seen them all. Or at least it feels that way at this point. As usual this works as an opener because the Dudleyz are an over face team and La Resistance scores cheap heat. However, from an action standpoint, this is dull city. The Conway interference wasn’t surprising, but at least they did it in a fashion you don’t see everyday. * ¾

- Jonathan Coachman stops the Dudleyz in the aisle and wants them to admit that La Resistance’s plan was clever. Bubba doesn’t see it that way and bitches out Coachman for saying so. Could it be that after all those years of abuse Coachman is finally growing a pair? Nah!

- As Eric Bischoff preps for his match, Christian comes up and introduces himself to him. You see, Christian figured that since the Intercontinental Champion wasn’t booked on tonight’s show, then he must not know him. Bischoff says he wanted Christian on the show, and blames the booking error on Stone Cold. Then Christian asks if Bischoff needs help in his match, but Bischoff says he already has a back-up plan. Finally, Christian asks Bischoff about what happened between him and Linda McMahon last week. Bischoff says he’ll tell the whole world all the sordid details in just a little bit. Finally, something that makes me glad I spent $40 on this show.

The set-up to this feud was basically based on the Undertaker taking offense with A-Train’s action against Stephanie McMahon last month at Vengeance. A-Train comes out accompanied by Vince McMahon’s personal friend, Sable. A-Train manages to overpower Taker in the opening minutes of the match. A Russian legsweep by Taker gets a nearfall. He gets another nearfall off of a DDT. Taker hits A-Train with a big clothesline and then delivers Old School. Taker puts his head down and A-Train kicks him. A-Train then dumps Taker to the floor and attacks him around ringside. Back inside A-Train works over Taker’s injured ribs. A suplex by A-Train gets 2. Taker slows A-Train with a sleeper, but he quickly escapes with a back suplex. Taker slugs away on A-Train and then gives him Snake Eyes. A-Train ducks Taker’s big boot and then the two clothesline each other. Another slugfest breaks out, which is won by Taker. Taker legdrops A-Train and gets 2. Taker clotheslines A-Train twice in the corner and then attempts the Last Ride, but A-Train shoves him off and into the referee. A-Train hits the Derailer and covers, but Taker kicks out at 2. Taker tries to clothesline A-Train, but accidentally nails the referee instead. Then A-Train hits Taker with the bicycle kick. A-Train brings in a chair, but Taker boots it in his face. Taker covers, but by the time the referee gets up, A-Train kicks out at 2. A-Train escapes a Tombstone attempt, but then gets nailed with a chokeslam. That’s enough to keep him down for 3 and to give Taker the win.

Postmatch: Taker attempts to give A-Train the Last Ride, but Sable comes in and tries to flirt with him. Taker isn’t buying it and grabs her by the throat. He holds her for Stephanie, who comes out and tackles her. She briefly roughs her up until A-Train pulls her out of the ring.

BL: They had enough of a story to work with (Taker’s injured ribs) to make the match watchable, but A-Train’s isn’t talented enough to effectively work over an injury like that to make things dramatic. We got a lot of punching and kicking here, but things picked up nicely in the closing minutes. For an undercard match, this is passable. **

- Coachman interviews a pair of fans at ringside about who they think will win the main event. Why are we interviewing them? Are they contest winners or something? Geez, that was more useless than the old Coliseum Obtrusives.

OK, try to follow me on this one…Shane McMahon returned to TV looking for revenge on Kane for what he did to his mother. Bischoff wouldn’t let him near Kane, so Stone Cold made Bischoff fight Shane instead. Bischoff won that match thanks to Kane’s interference. Then J.R. was going to sue Bischoff after he allowed Kane to set him on fire. He dropped the suit because Bischoff agreed to a match, thinking his opponent would be Shane. Instead, he had to fight Kane. However, Kane purposely lost the match to gain heel heat. Because Bischoff won that match, Austin told him he won the right to face Shane tonight. Then, to strangely add “heat” to this match, Bischoff went to Linda’s home and supposedly had his way with her. One of the more puzzling and fractured builds to a feud that I’ve ever seen.

Bischoff comes out and says it’s not a question of if he did Linda, but how many times. Ick. That immediately draws out Shane, who begins to kick his ass. He dumps Bischoff to the floor. Bischoff tries to leave, but Shane meets him in the aisle and continues his attack. As Shane beats up Bischoff by the announce table, he’s suddenly struck by a chair. We then see it’s Jonathan Coachman wielding the weapon. Coachman hits him again and the referee calls for the bell. However, Bischoff pulls the bell away and says he’s now making this a no Disqualification, pinfalls count anywhere match. Bischoff then has the RAW announcers microphones cut off and has Coachman call the action. Bischoff repeatedly kicks Shane and the crowd grows restless. Shane starts to comeback, but Coachman lowblows him. Suddenly, Austin comes out to even the odds. He and Shane dispose of Coachman. Then Austin gives Bischoff a Stunner. Shane covers, but pulls Bischoff up at 2. Shane drags Bischoff out, puts him on the Spanish announce table and hits him with his top rope elbow. Shane covers and easily picks up the victory.

BL: That’s the payoff to this whole mess? A Coachman heel turn and Austin kicking Bischoff’s ass again? Why is this on PPV? I might let it slide as a RAW main event, but not as a match on the second biggest show of the year. Even if you wanted to do a Shane/Bischoff match, there are numerous ways that you could have done a better job at building and then executing it. This was simply wasteful. DUD

- Ric Flair chats with Randy Orton and instructs him that his job is to ensure HHH walks out of the main event as champion. Then HHH walks in and reiterates that point. Orton says he understands, but when you’re dealing with someone who’s got a box of rocks for brains, you can’t help but understand why HHH and Flair feel the need to repeat themselves.

All these guys are former friends turned enemies, which should make for a good contest. All three challengers go after Eddie, but he bails. They decide to then focus their attention on each other. Benoit gets a quick Crossface on Rhyno, but Eddie comes in and breaks it up. Eddie breaks up a few more nearfalls and then everyone turns their attention to him. Rhyno powerslams Eddie and gets 2. Eddie comes back and clears the ring of Rhyno and Benoit. Eddie and Tajiri do a short sequence that ends with Eddie getting a nearfall. Now Benoit and Rhyno have a short sequence. Rhyno delivers a superplex to Eddie and covers, but Tajiri breaks it up. A ‘rana by Eddie gets 2 on Benoit. Eddie locks Tajiri in the Lasso from El Paso, but then Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface. Tajiri makes it to the ropes, so Eddie breaks up the Crossface. Benoit puts Eddie in the Crossface, but both Tajiri and Rhyno stop that. As Tajiri goes for the handspring elbow, he crashes into Rhyno. Benoit then hits 2/3rds of the Hat Trick on Tajiri. Tajiri reverses things, however, and hits Benoit with a German suplex of his own. That gets 2 ¾. As Tajiri places Benoit in the Tarantula, Rhyno GORES Eddie. However, Eddie was holding the U.S. title, so it’s Rhyno that got hurt on the move. Eddie goes up top, but Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Tajiri then goes up, but Benoit crotches him and puts him in a tree of woe. Then out of the same corner, Benoit goes up and hits Rhyno with the diving headbutt. Tajiri breaks up that cover at the last second. I thought that was it. Benoit and Tajiri fight and fall through the ropes. Eddie then gets back up and hits Rhyno with the frog splash. He covers and is able to get the 1-2-3.

BL: A good match, but not quite what I was expecting. They played this more like a triple threat match where only two men fought at any one time. I would have liked if there was always two pairs fighting each other at all times. The problem with the way they did it was that they were constantly interchanging who was fighting, so nobody got any extended sequences. It was just this random assortment of moves and pinfall attempts. There were glimpses of greatness here, but they couldn’t put together the complete package. *** ½

- Earlier on HeAT, Matt Hardy came out and claimed victory over Zach Gowen. They were supposed to fight on the show, but Brock Lesnar brutalized him last week on Smackdown and broke his only leg. Thank goodness they at least showed that HeAT footage here, considering they stupidly advertised this match on the DVD case. Anyways, Brock’s attack on Zach nicely segues us into…

After Angle won the title at Vengeance, Brock played the respect card and asked him for a rematch. However, in the coming weeks that proved to be a ruse as, thanks in part to Vince McMahon, Brock turned on Angle and savagely attacked him. Now there’s some heat here as the rematch is set. Brock starts off by driving Angle to the corner, but Angle comes back and drops Brock to the mat. The two go through an extended feeling-out period with neither gaining an advantage. Angle tries to play mind games by shoving Brock to the corner and then flipping him off. Angle then tosses Brock to the floor. Brock starts losing it and destroys things around ringside. Brock grabs the title and starts to leave. Angle follows him out and the two brawl down the aisle. Back inside, Angle sends Brock to the corner and then hits him with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. That gets a nearfall. Brock comes back by gorilla press slamming Angle to the floor. On the outside, Brock sends Angle into the steps. Back in the ring, Brock goes for another press slam, but Angle escapes and rolls him up for 2. Brock comes right back and hits Angle with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. That gets 2. Now Brock wears out Angle with a bodyscissors. Brock really begins to work over Angle’s midsection. Brock cradles Angle over his head and then drops him to the mat. That gets a nearfall. Brock repeatedly rams his shoulder into Angle’s midsection as Angle stands in the corner. Brock charges again, but this time Angle moves and Brock’s shoulder goes into the post. Angle does a couple shouldertackles and then dropkicks him in the leg. Angle hits Brock with three German suplexes to further hurt his shoulder. That gets 2. Brock retaliates with an overhead toss. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Brock escapes and hits him with a spinebuster. That gets a nearfall. Brock sets up Angle for the F5, but Angle reverses it into a DDT. Angle gets a nearfall from that. Down go the straps and Angle nails Brock with an Angle Slam. Angle covers and Brock kicks out at 2. Angle now slaps the ankle lock on Brock. Brock powers out of it and sends Angle into the referee. Angle gets a unique submission on Brock by climbing on his back and choking him out with his legs. Now Angle switches back to the ankle lock. Brock grabs the ropes, but the referee’s still down, so Angle keeps the hold on. Brock begins to tap, but Vince runs out and nails Angle with a chair. On one leg, Brock manages to give Angle the F5. Angle escapes and puts him back in the ankle lock. Brock keeps going for the ropes and Angle keeps pulling him back. Eventually, Brock has no choice but to tap. Kurt retains.

Postmatch: Vince tries to attack Angle with a chair, but Angle catches him and ends up giving Vince an Angle Slam on the chair.

BL: You know me…I’ll never complain about an Angle win, but I wonder if giving Brock the win here would have been the better move. They had built Brock up as a monster again these past few weeks. To have him tap cleanly really neutralizes all of that effort. The style of the match was unique. It wasn’t a straight-up wrestling match like many expected. Instead, they used the story of Angle’s thinking man wrestler going against Brock’s meathead monster. It’s unconventional, but it worked. This was a well-worked match that also leaves you wondering what they have in store in the next few months. **** ¼

The already tenuous relationship between RVD and Kane became even more strained once Kane lost a match that forced him to unmask. Without his mask, he’s been on a rampage, destroying everybody in sight, including his former partner. Now the former tag champions plan to settle their issue tonight. Before the match, it’s announced that the match is now No Holds Barred. RVD tries to use his speed early on, but Kane counters that with his power. The fight heads outside where Kane dominates. RVD comes back with a moonsault off the guardrail, but Kane quickly recovers. Kane grabs a ladder and brings it into the ring, but RVD smacks it in his face. RVD attempts Rolling Thunder, but Kane grabs him by the throat. RVD breaks free and then knocks Kane out of the ring with a crossbody. Kane grabs RVD and throws him into the steps. Back inside, RVD drops Kane with a spin kick. RVD elbows a charging Kane, but when he goes up, Kane shoves him off and into the barrier. Kane grabs the ladders and rams it into RVD’s head. Kane brings RVD back in and gets a nearfall. Kane misses a clothesline and RVD tries to comeback. However, Kane manages to knock RVD off the apron. Kane tries a top rope clothesline, but RVD moves and Kane crashes into the barricade. RVD nails Kane with the ladder, but Kane comes back with a DDT. Kane tries to use the steps, but RVD gives him a drop toe hold. RVD then dropkicks Kane into the crowd. RVD sets Kane across the barrier and legdrops him. Back inside, RVD knocks Kane down with a spinning heel kick, places a chair on him and then hits Rolling Thunder. Kane sits up, but RVD dropkicks the chair in his face. RVD goes for the Van Daminator and either hit it sloppily or missed it. It was hard to tell. With Kane outside, RVD goes for a crossbody, but Kane catches him. Kane then weakly hits RVD with a Tombstone on the steps. Kane brings RVD back in the ring and covers him for 3.

BL: I can’t belive these two got this much time. If you cut their time in half, this might be an impactful match. As it stands, this match started off hot, but then cooled off quickly. Then the finish came off rather flat, especially considering it’s placement on the card. They’ve been building Kane as this monsterous villain, yet he didn’t do a whole lot out of the ordinary here. These two did the best they could, but you still can’t help but feel this is a letdown. ** ¾

- Backstage, Bischoff is being tended to by the trainers, as Terri Runnels tries to interview him. He dismisses her, but then bumps into Linda McMahon. She says nothing and opts to instead slap him. Wow, what a fantastic payoff to that storyline. *groan*

- Triple H stares at his title, but Flair gives him a pep talk and tells him he’s great. Me thinks that HHH believes he’s going to lose his “precious”.

This was originally supposed to be HHH vs. Goldberg, one-on-one, but HHH hurt his groin and they were worried about him going through a full match, so they combined a bunch of existing feuds into this one match. HHH, Goldberg, Nash, and Orton go into the chambers, leaving Jericho and Shawn to start this match. Fine by me. This time someone will enter the match every 3 minutes. We get some feeling-out between Jericho and Shawn to begin. Both men exchange nearfalls with neither gaining an advantage. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Shawn reverses it into a small package for 2. Jericho hits his crappy bulldog, but Shawn avoids the Lionsault. As Jericho hits a double ax handle on Shawn, Orton enters the match. He immediately hits Shawn with a high crossbody and gets 2. Jericho hits Shawn with a standing enziguri and gets 2. Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel floor and then continues to attack him out there. Jericho gets Shawn in the Walls, but Nash comes out and breaks that up. He grabs Jericho and gives him some rough chamber treatment, including a cheese grater spot. Nash hits Orton with a sidewalk slam and gets 2. Now Nash appears to act nice to Shawn, but then attacks him. As Nash goes to Jackknife Jericho, Shawn superkicks him. Then Jericho rolls him up and covers him for 3. Nash is gone. With everybody down, the buzzer sounds and it’s HHH’s turn to come out. He jaws at Goldberg, but then turns around and receives Sweet Chin Music. HHH is down and out in his chamber. Meanwhile, Nash is back up and he powerbombs Jericho. He then attacks Shawn and Orton before finally leaving. Shawn covers both Orton and Jericho, but can’t get a 3 count on either of them. Orton, Jericho and Shawn slug it out as the clock counts down. Goldberg comes out and goes on a tear. Orton gets speared and pinned for 3. Jericho hits Goldberg with a missile dropkick and gets 2. However, Goldberg gets back up and throws him into the chamber wall. After whipping Shawn to the corner, Goldberg goes outside and spears Jericho through a chamber. Shawn nails Goldberg with a flying forearm and kips up. Shawn hits the flying elbow and tunes up the band. Goldberg avoids the superkick and spears Shawn. He then gives him a Jackhammer and pins him. Jericho is back up, but gets speared again. Jericho receives a Jackhammer and gets pinned for 3. We’re down to Goldberg and HHH. From the outside, Flair closes HHH in his chamber, but Goldberg kicks the glass in and goes after HHH. Now Goldberg gives HHH some rough chamber treatment. HHH escapes and gives the same to Goldberg. Goldberg quickly recovers and clotheslines HHH. As Goldberg goes for the spear, HHH nails him in the head with the sledgehammer. Hey, how’d he get that? HHH covers the knocked out Goldberg and gets the 1-2-3. BTW, replays show Flair slipping the sledgehammer to HHH through the chamber wall.

Postmatch: HHH, Flair and Orton gang up and completely brutalize Goldberg. Evolution then handcuffs Goldberg to the chamber and beat him with the sledgehammer some more. We end the show with Evolution standing tall.

BL: This was really a different chamber match from the first one. With the abbreviated intervals, the action was compact and slightly more entertaining. However, it prevented from more stories being told and less drama being built. The one story that actually got told was the domination of Goldberg. His ability to take out Orton, Jericho and Shawn in quick fashion actually got him the majority of the crowd’s approval for the first time since coming to the WWE. For that reason, it’s disappointing that he ultimately lost the match. However, to get the most out of the HHH/Goldberg feud, it was probably better off that he lost. Despite a frustrating (to some) finish, this is an entertaining main event. *** ¾

Final Thoughts: If you want to enjoy this show, you really have to view it as a stand-alone show. In the context of storylines, this show is just a mess; partly because some feuds were built poorly and partly because the results ruined some feuds. However, in a vacuum, the action here is pretty solid and there are very few lulls over the course of the three hours. There are easily better shows you could watch, but this is probably one of the better offerings from 2003.

Next time, you would think not hearing J.R. and the King for a match would be a nice break, but you would be oh so wrong.