Emanating from the Hartford Civic Center in Hartford, CT

Your commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler

Opening match: Tajiri and Rhyno vs. Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade
 

Rhyno attempts a Gore, but Cade bails to the floor. Rhyno brings him back in and tags Tajiri. Tajiri is in complete control until Coach hits him from the apron. Coach tags in and hammers away on Tajiri’s back. Coach slams Tajiri and then mocks him with a bow. While bent over, Tajiri gives him a stiff kick to the head. Cade and Coach double-team Tajiri to prevent him from gaining any momentum. Tajiri boots a charging Coach and then puts him in the Tarantula. After hitting Coach with an enziguri, Tajiri is able to make the hot tag to Rhyno. Rhyno enters and takes it to both heels. Rhyno hits Coach with a belly-to-belly suplex and covers, but Cade breaks it up. Cade hurls Rhyno out of the ring, but not before Tajiri was able to make a blind tag.
 
Tajiri takes it to Coach until Cade comes over and nails him from behind. Tajiri knocks them both down with a springboard elbow. Tajiri goes to mist Coach, but he ducks and Cade receives it instead. Rhyno comes back in and goes for the spear. Coach again avoids it and Cade receives that too. Coach doesn’t remain unscathed for long as Tajiri nails him with a kick to the head. That blow is enough to keep him down for 3.

Bottom Line: As far as openers go, this one was pretty crappy. You have a couple of makeshift tag teams and neither of the heels are very talented. You would have thought this was a dark match with the lack of crowd reaction for it. I did get a mild chuckle out of seeing Cade receive the brunt of the abuse in the closing minutes of the match, but if that’s the highlight, then you know things are going bad. *

- Back in Evolution’s locker room, the gang wants an explanation from Triple H as to why he’s affiliating himself so much with Eugene. Triple H says that they shouldn’t worry because he knows what he’s doing. Just as Triple H is about to reveal his diabolical plan, Triple H wonders where Eugene is. As HHH is about to leave, he sees Chris Benoit talking to Eugene and telling him that Triple H is using him. Triple H does not seem happy about that. And that folks has been another installment of Convenient Occurrences Theater.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Batista has been interfering in Jericho’s recent matches to create this insta-feud. Batista traps Jericho and works over his midsection to begin the match. Jericho baits Batista to charge and causes him to fall over the top rope. As Batista tries to reenter, Jericho hits him with the springboard dropkick. On the outside, Batista grabs Jericho and throws him into the barricade. Back inside, a swinging neckbreaker by Batista gets 2. That’s enough action for Batista who decides to slow things down with a resthold that eventually morphs into a full nelson. Jericho escapes and dumps Batista to the floor.
 
When Batista comes back in, Jericho dropkicks him in the knee. He keeps working on that knee until Batista knocks him down. He sets Jericho up on the top rope, but Jericho elbows him before he can do anything more. Jericho then comes off the top rope with an elbow. Batista catches Jericho coming off the ropes with a side slam and gets 2. A backbreaker by Batista gets another nearfall. Batista delivers another backbreaker and then just holds Jericho against his leg. Batista makes a mistake by putting his head down and Jericho kicks him. Batista catches Jericho goes for a bodypress and tries to slam him. However, Jericho escapes and chopblocks him. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Batista powers out of it. Batista catches Jericho coming off the ropes again and nails him with a spinebuster. That gets a long 2.
 
Batista attempts a powerbomb, but Jericho is able to escape and roll him up for 2. Jericho boots a charging Batista and then delivers him crappy bulldog from the second rope. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Batista gets his knees up, albeit in sloppy fashion. For some reason a ‘Batista’ chant begins. Jericho hits a running enziguri and gets a nearfall. Batista grabs Jericho and delivers a spinebuster. Batista follows that up with the Batista Bomb. He covers and gets the 3 count, even though we can see that Jericho’s foot was on the bottom rope.

BL: Wow, this was quite the hot mess. I guess it’s fitting that it ends with a botched call from the referee. It’s hard to believe from this performance that Batista would be a world champion less than a year after this. His offense was all over the place and had no psychology behind it. He went from working the abdomen to the back to the neck and everything in between. Despite Batista’s limitations, it didn’t seem like Jericho was really helping out here either. Clearly he was not on his A game tonight. This was dull and disappointing. ¾*

- Eugene comes into Evolution’s locker room and seems upset. Triple H sits down with him and convinces him that everything Benoit said was a lie. He then presents Eugene with a huge surprise; one of Ric Flair’s robes. I don’t think Ric had to do too much acting there when displaying his anger and disgust over HHH doing that. By the way, can you dry clean rhinestone covered robes?

World Tag Team Championship Match: La Resistance (champs) vs. Ric Flair and Eugene

This was established as part of HHH’s grand scheme to gain Eugene’s trust and assistance. Flair’s look of contempt while watching Eugene trying to mimic him is classic. Eugene starts off with Conway and does some strutting and ‘woo’ing. Eugene chops down Conway, so he tags Grenier. Eugene continues to hit all of Flair’s trademarks on him. Grenier backdrops Eugene, who then begs for forgiveness only to them poke Grenier in the eye. Ha! Conway and Eugene exchange in a chop fest, which ends with Eugene doing a Flair flop. Eugene attempts a figure four, but Conway shoves him off and into the corner where Flair tags himself in. Now Flair shows us how it’s truly done.
 
Flair is manhandling both of the champs with ease. Flair suplexes Conway and then puts him in the figure four. Grenier comes in and dropkicks Flair to break it up. Grenier punches Flair down in the corner and then covers him for 2. Conway clotheslines Flair and gets another nearfall. Grenier whips Flair to the corner and then backdrops him. Grenier covers and gets another 2 count. Flair gets close to his corner for a tag, but Conway pulls Eugene off the apron to prevent it from happening. Angered by that, Eugene comes in and takes out the champs.
 
Eugene pounds down Conway in the corner and when the referee admonishes him, Eugene shoves him down. Eugene hits the Stunner on Conway and the Rock Bottom on Grenier, but it’s fruitless as the referee calls for the bell and disqualifies Eugene. Eugene caps off his onslaught by giving a strutting People’s elbow to Grenier.

BL: The first part of the match was just hilarious to watch. A lot of fun seeing Eugene pull off all of Flair’s classic moves. Once the heels took over and put Flair in the Morton sequence, things took a turn for the worse. Just a lot of punching and kicking offense that killed off any energy the crowd has. The finish was pretty dumb, but you knew that we wouldn’t see a clean finish since you don’t want to job out Eugene or Flair, but you don’t want to give them the titles either. ** ½

No Disqualification Match: Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Kane, going on one of his rampages, decided to take out his anger on Matt Hardy. Trying to stop him from doing any further damage to Matt, Lita agreed to go out on a date with him. Meanwhile, Matt Hardy learned that Lita was pregnant and proposed to her. Before getting an answer, Kane told Matt that the baby was his. Lita tells Matt that she did sleep with Kane, but she doesn’t know who the father is. All of these soap opera-y shenanigans have led to this match.
 
Kane meets Matt in the aisle and they begin to duke it out. Matt grabs Kane and rams him into the post and the announce table. He then takes a TV monitor and bashes Kane’s head with it. Matt brings Kane onto the Spanish announce table and attempts the Twist of Fate, but Kane shoves him off. The fight now spills into the crowd. Kane picks up Matt and drops him across the barrier. Finally in the ring, Kane chokes out Matt in the corner. A sidewalk slam by Kane gets a nearfall. I have to laugh hearing the announcers talking about the merits of bartering for sex with a woman.
 
Matt tries to mount a comeback, but Kane quickly knocks him down with a clothesline. The crowd gets restless with Kane’s offense and begins to demand tables. Kane connects with a top rope clothesline. Kane taunts Matt to put up a fight and then dumps him to the floor. Outside, Matt rams a chair into Kane’s midsection. However, Kane quickly recovers and boots Matt down. As Kane tries to come back into the ring, Matt drops him across the top rope. Matt keeps punching Kane and he ends up getting his foot caught in the ropes. Matt punches away on Kane and then nails him with the ringbell. Matt hits a top rope legdrop, but when he goes for the Twist of Fate, Kane escapes. Kane attempts a powerslam, but Matt escapes and hits the Twist of Fate. That gets 2. Kane catches Matt coming off the ropes and chokeslams him. Kane brings the steps into the ring, which prompts Lita to run out and stop him from using them. Kane drops the steps and puts Lita in the corner. He picks up the steps again, but by this time Matt has a chair and smacks the steps into Kane’s face. Matt quickly covers and scores the surprising victory.

BL: Well that was quite the weak finish. It just didn’t seem believable that that would be enough to put Kane away. The early moments of this match were energetic enough, but once Kane began dominating the match things got real dull. With the no disqualification stip, I was hoping for a more evenly fought brawl, but this ended up being more of a glorified squash with a surprise finish. Of course, given this storyline, we should know that nothing would be settled here tonight with this match. This storyline may have been really dumb, but at least for this match it provided the commentators with some hilarious material. That was about the only thing keeping me going as Kane was doing his boring beatdown. ** ¼

- Backstage Lita wants to talk to Matt, but he’s still angry at her. He tells her that she needs to stay away from the ring and away from him. Given how much she sleeps around, if I were Matt I would want her to stay as close to me as possible, not be left alone to do whatever (or whoever) she wants.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Orton (champ) vs. Edge

Edge has been in the hunt for the IC title ever since returning from his injury and finally gets his opportunity tonight. The two lockup as a ‘Let’s go Orton’ chant begins. Ugh. Lawler immediately begins fawning over Orton saying how great he is and good looking too. Thankfully, J.R. calls him out on his man crush. A criss-cross sequence ends with Edge knocking down Orton. Orton knees Edge and then puts the boots to him. Another criss-cross sequence ends the same as the first. Now Edge puts Orton in a headlock. Edge hits a few shouldertackles on Orton, which causes him to bail to the floor.
 
Orton decides he’s just going to leave, so Edge runs out and brings him back in. Orton sidesteps Edge and dumps him to the floor. Orton suplexes Edge back in and covers him for 2. Now it’s Orton’s turn to put on a chinlock. Edge finally escapes and clotheslines Orton to the floor. Orton grabs his belt, but when he tries to come into the ring, Edge baseball slides into him. Then Edge leaps off the apron and clotheslines Orton. Edge delivers a missile dropkick, which gets a 2 count. Edge goes for the spear, but Orton kicks him. Orton hits his modified backbreaker. He covers and gets a nearfall. Orton chokes Edge using the bottom rope. Orton whips Edge to the corner, but gets booted when he follows him in. Orton quickly recovers and goes back to work on Edge’s neck. A dropkick by Orton gets 2.
 
After another lengthy chinlock, Orton legdrops Edge and gets another nearfall. Orton puts on another chinlock and the crowd is getting restless. Edge finally escapes and hits a crossbody for 2. A rollup gives Edge another nearfall. However, Orton quickly drops Edge with a clothesline. Orton tries a move off the second rope, but Edge dropkicks him in mid-air. Edge hits a neckbreaker and now both men are down. A slugfest breaks out and is won by Edge. He follows it up with a Russian legsweep that gives him a 2 count. Orton tries for a dropkick, but Edge avoids it. Edge monkey flips Orton into the corner and then hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2. Edge goes up top, but Orton hits him. He then tries a superplex, but Edge blocks it and crotches him. Edge delivers a high crossbody, but Orton rolls through it and gets a 2 count. Orton thumbs Edge in the eye and then goes over and removes the turnbuckle pad. While the ref is attending to that, Edge gets Orton in a small package. By the time the ref comes over, Orton is able to kick out at 2.
 
Edge argues with the ref and Orton rolls him up for a nearfall. Orton dropkicks Edge and gets another nearfall. Now Edge hits his Impaler DDT and gets 2 ¾. Edge begins a 10-punch count in the corner, but Orton drops him across that exposed turnbuckle. Orton rolls up Edge and puts his feet on the ropes, but Edge somehow kicks out before 3. Orton attempts the RKO, but Edge shoves him off. Edge attempts the spear, but Orton leapfrogs out of the way. Orton again tries for the RKO, but Edge puts him in a backslide for 2. Edge whips Orton into the exposed corner and then hits him with the spear. Edge covers and gets the 1-2-3. Orton’s 7 month reign is over. New champ!

Postmatch: Orton pouts all the way to the back over his loss.

BL: This match had the exact opposite problem of the previous two matches. These two took forever to get things interesting. The opening minutes of the match had this weird stalemate feel to it where no one really wanted to do anything to the other. It’s like they were buying time for some reason. Then we had Orton’s extended heel sequence which had about 30 restholds in it. The closing minutes had a decent flurry of nearfalls and big moves, but by that point I was having trouble caring. I wish Orton’s moment of defeat could have come in a more satisfying match. ** ¾

#1 Contender’s Match: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Molly quickly begins working over Victoria’s arm. Victoria monkey flips Molly and then slams her. As Victoria shakes her ass, Molly rolls her up for a nearfall. Victoria delivers a pair of armdrags. A moonsault from the second rope gives Victoria a nearfall. Molly bails to the outside, so Victoria launches herself over the top rope onto her. Molly sends Victoria into the steps and her shoulder appears to be hurt. Back inside, Molly continuously kicks Victoria’s injured shoulder. Molly hits the springboard splash in the corner and covers her for 2. Victoria catches Molly with a pair of pinfall attempts, but neither get the 3. Victoria slams Molly and gets another 2 count. Victoria attempts the Widow’s Peak, but can’t do it due to her hurt arm. So she improvises and just blasts Molly with a kick. That’s enough to keep her down for 3.

BL: I appreciate Molly’s work on Victoria’s arm, which may or may not have been legitimately hurt during the match. However, the match was too short for that work to really matter. The other thing hampering this match is that the crowd was absolutely dead after that last match. This was decent enough as a cool down match, but nothing truly special. * ¾

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Benoit (champ) vs. Triple H

Eric Bischoff granted Triple H this title shot as long as he took out Eugene for him. While he could have done that, HHH decided instead to manipulate Eugene into thinking they were friends. He made him an honorary member of Evolution and convinced him that Chris Benoit is an enemy. Now he plans on using his new lackey to help him win back the World title.
 
The two lockup, but it gives neither man an advantage. They exchange hammerlocks, but still neither can gain control. They must be long on time, because these two are doing a lot of stalling here to begin. Benoit hiptosses HHH and then tries for the Crossface, but can’t get it on. HHH bails to the floor, but Benoit follows him out there and delivers some chops. Back inside, HHH knocks down Benoit with a high knee. HHH then hits a pair of suplexes. A slugfest ends when HHH pulls Benoit to the floor. HHH whips Benoit to the corner, but when he charges in, Benoit boots him. Benoit hits a German suplex, but HHH prevents him from doing a second. Benoit knocks HHH outside and follows him out there. Benoit reverses a whip and sends HHH into the steps. Inside, Benoit goes for a diving headbutt, but HHH moves out of the way. HHH whips Benoit, who crashes chest-first into the corner. Then HHH sends him into the corner like that again.
 
Benoit’s midsection has now become the focus of HHH’s attack. HHH delivers a reverse suplex and gets a nearfall. After a second one, HHH wears down Benoit with a surfboard. HHH sidesteps Benoit and throws him out of the ring. On the floor, HHH whips Benoit into the barricade. Back inside, HHH again whips Benoit hard into the corner. HHH locks an abdominal stretch on Benoit. Benoit manages to reverse the hold, but HHH quickly gets out of it. HHH puts Benoit in a sleeper. Benoit escapes and now puts HHH in a sleeper and again HHH quickly escapes. Benoit goes for a Sharpshooter, but HHH shoves him off. HHH tries for a Pedigree, but Benoit escapes and puts him in the Sharpshooter. HHH gets close to the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back. A second effort and HHH makes it to the ropes. Benoit is able to connect with the Hat Trick. Benoit goes up top, but HHH rolls out of the ring before he can do anything. Benoit hops down and ends up doing a suicide tope on HHH on the floor. Sweet!
 
Back inside, HHH attempts to clothesline Benoit, but accidentally nails the referee. Benoit attempts the Crossface, but HHH DDTs him. Now HHH calls out Eugene who obediently comes down to the ring. Benoit puts HHH in the Crossface and tells Eugene to get the referee. HHH is tapping, but there’s still no ref. Eugene starts to get in the ring, so Benoit knocks him off the apron. Benoit is upset by what he did, but that allowed HHH to low blow him. HHH hits Benoit with the Pedigree and then tells Eugene to get the ref. Eugene puts the ref in the ring. The ref slowly counts and Benoit is able to kick out at 2 ¾. HHH orders Eugene to get him a chair, which he does. However, before HHH can use the chair, Eugene pulls it back. HHH shoves Eugene off the apron and turns around, only to be tackled by Benoit. Flair and Batista run down but Benoit nails them with the chair. Eugene gets in the ring and Benoit tells him to get out. HHH knocks down Benoit and tries to use the chair, but Benoit low blows him. With both men down, Eugene grabs the chair. He looks like he wants to hit both men, but can’t quite do it. Benoit gets up and tries to wrestle the chair away from Eugene. As they both tug, Eugene pulls it away and it ends up smacking HHH in the face. Benoit rolls up HHH and the ref wakes up long enough to register the 3 count.

BL: This was turning into a fine, albeit ordinary title match until the whole mess with Eugene. All of those extracurriculars were really contrived, especially considering HHH would have been better served just attacking Benoit on his own with the ref down (for what seemed like an unnecessarily long time). It’s no surprise that these two are capable of turning in a good match, so why bog it down with this nonsense. Sure it gives HHH a new feud, but Benoit is left with yet another disappointing PPV through no fault of his own. Sometimes it’s just better to just leave well enough alone. *** ¾

Final thoughts: Nothing stinks up the joint here, but virtually every match came off disappointing. None of the matches clicked despite there being several decent matchups. I guess everyone is allowed an off night, you just hate seeing everyone take it on the same night. Coming off that Great American Bash show, this one feels like Wrestlemania X-7, but really I can’t give it a recommendation. That is, unless you’re a Eugene fan. In that case, then this is the show for you. For everyone else, this is a rather forgettable PPV.

Next time, the main event scene goes South in the Great White North.

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue