Emanating from the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario, CA

Your commentators are Jim Ross, Jerry “the King” Lawler, Michael Cole, and Tazz

Six Man Tag Team Match: Rey Mysterio, Paul London, and Billy Kidman vs. Spike Dudley and the Dudley Boyz [Smackdown]

Kidman kicks things off against D-Von. A dropkick by Kidman gives him an early 2 count. London is tagged in and uses his speed to take it to D-Von. Bubba nails London while running the ropes to change the tide of the match. The Dudleyz now effectively double and triple team London. D-Von powerslams London and covers, prompting Kidman to break it up. Heel miscommunication causes Bubba to accidentally clothesline D-Von. London connects with an enziguri on Bubba, and then makes the hot tag to Rey. Rey face plants Spike and then hits him with a top rope legdrop. Rey takes Spike up top and hits a hurricanrana. That gets 2. The Dudleyz try to interfere, but Rey is able to take them out as well. Spike headbutts Rey, but London is able to blindly tag himself in. Soon all six men are in and the ref has lost control. London launches himself off of Kidman and nails Bubba with a hilo over the top rope. Impressive. Rey and Kidman double-team Spike, which ends in him receiving the 619. Kidman hits Spike with the Shooting Star Press and covers, but D-Von pulls him off. D-Von avoids a flying Rey, who crashes into the barricade. D-Von then absolutely blasts London with a clothesline on the floor. The Dudleyz try to use a belt on Kidman, but he escapes. However, he can’t avoid receiving a 3-D from them. Spike comes in and pins Kidman for the victory.

Postmatch: The Dudleyz hoist Spike up on their shoulders to reinforce the idea that he is the boss.

Bottom Line: Way too short to be great, but it had a hot enough finish to make it effective. I would have liked to see a longer heat segment, or two short ones. Instead we only get a brief one, which prevented the crowd from being able to really rally behind the faces. Given the bumping skills of most of the faces, they should have taken more advantage of having the heels draw heat. For the time they had, they made the most of it. ** ¾

Til Death Do Us Part Match: Matt Hardy vs. Kane [RAW]

The soap opera love triangle between Matt, Kane, and Lita continues as Matt recently proposed to Lita, but she learned that Kane is the father of her child. So now the winner of this match will get to marry Lita. Is that meant to be an incentive to win the match? Matt hammers away on Kane as soon as he enters the ring. Matt hits the Side Effect and gets 2. A legdrop from the second rope gives Matt another 2 count. Matt connects with a tornado DDT and gets yet another nearfall. An uppercut by Kane finally halts Matt’s momentum. Lita jaws at Kane to distract him from attacking Matt. Matt causes Kane to fall to the floor and then launches himself on top of him. On the outside, Matt delivers a Twist of Fate. Kane barely makes it back into the ring before the 10 count. Lita puts the ring bell into the ring and then distracts the ref. Matt blasts Kane with the bell and then covers. That gets a 2 count before Kane puts his foot on the rope. Kane catches Matt coming off the top rope and tries to chokeslam him, but Matt breaks free. Kane boots Matt and goes up top. Matt is able to crotch him and then tries for a DDT. However, Kane blocks it and delivers a top rope chokeslam. That is easily enough to give Kane the 3 count.

Postmatch: Realizing that she’s going to have to marry Kane, Lita comedically runs away with her arms flailing.

BL: Unlike the opener, I am thankful that this one was kept short. Also in its favor is the fact that they had Matt remain on offense for most of the match, which kept it from being completely dull and lifeless. Really though, this match was going to be a loser from the get-go regardless of the action due to the stupid storyline. Once a marriage stipulation is placed onto a match, it’s going to have a hard time getting people to enjoy it. You end up ignoring what’s going on in the ring and instead focus on how much worse the storyline will get depending on who will win. **

- Todd Grisham shares his thoughts on that last match before being cut off by Randy Orton. He blathers on about how he’s making history tonight until he’s interrupted by John Cena. Cena acts like a buffoon and then polls the audience on what they think about Orton, which is a bit risky considering that you never know what those crazy Canucks’ response will be. Cena leaves and then Orton tries to regain some heat on himself, but it’s really hard to do when you stumble over every third word you say. Boy was that a miserable segment.

Best of 5 Series for the United States Championship (Match #1): Booker T (champ) vs. John Cena [Smackdown]

Booker T became champion after then Smackdown GM Kurt Angle stripped Cena of the title. Now that Theodore Long is in charge, he decided to recreate one of Booker’s highlights from WCW, a best-of series to determine a champion. These two slug it out, and Booker wins the exchange with a knee. Cena hits the Throwback and gets 2. Booker grabs Cena and crotches him on the top rope. He then clotheslines him to the floor. Booker then waits for Cena to get up, but some miscommunication happens and Booker jumps off and just slaps Cena on the back in a move that looked really bad. Booker tosses Cena back in and then hits him with a heel kick. Another slugfest ends with Booker hitting Cena with a kick to the face. Booker applies a camel clutch, but Cena powers out of it. Booker whips Cena to the corner and then delivers a spinebuster. Booker hits a side slam, but opts not to cover. Cena catches Booker with a small package and gets a 2 count. Booker attempts the scissors kick, but Cena moves out of the way. Cena slugs away on Booker and then clotheslines him. Booker stops Cena’s momentum with a flapjack. Booker gives us the spinaroonie, but when he pops up, Cena’s there and hits him with the FU. Just like that, Cena covers and scores the win.

BL: Boy did that match make Booker look like an idiot. He was pretty much in control the entire time, but never was in any hurry to win the match. Meanwhile, Cena did what he does best; get beat up the entire match before hitting one move to win it. If these aspects of the match were going to build to something as this Best-of-5 series continued, I could excuse it. But of course it didn’t and we’re just left with a flat match comprised of a lot of uninteresting action. * ½

- Teddy Long likes what he sees from that match when Eric Bischoff walks into his dressing room. Bischoff gives Teddy a history lesson over all of the Smackdown GMs that have come and gone while Bischoff remains in power. Long fires back by threatening to sign Eugene or any other RAW superstar that hates Bischoff and making them a big star on Smackdown. It’s a nice attempt at a comeback, but if what Bischoff says is true, why would they sign with a GM who’ll be gone three months from now? I say this round goes to Sleazy-E

Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Edge (champ) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista [RAW]

This is a homecoming for Edge. As Edge poses on the ropes, Batista nails him from behind. Crowd starts a Y2J chant. Interesting. Jericho hammers Batista in the corner, but Batista quickly recovers and gives him some rough turnbuckle treatment in return. Jericho attempts a crossbody, but Batista catches and slams him to the mat. Batista goes for a powerbomb, but Edge comes in and chopblocks him. Edge boots a charging Batista, but when he goes for a move off the second rope, Batista kicks him. Batista hits Edge with snake eyes, but when on a second attempt, Jericho grabs his leg. The distraction allows Edge to dropkick Batista, who botches falling through the ropes. On the floor, Edge delivers a drop toe hold that sends Batista into the stairs. Now Jericho dropkicks Batista into the steps. Inside, Jericho and Edge have a faceoff. Jericho hammers away on him. When Edge fights back, the crowd boos. Jericho attempts the Walls of Jericho, but Edge reverses it into a small package for 2. Jericho hits him with a crossbody, but Edge rolls through it and gets 2. Jericho now gets the Walls of Jericho on Edge, which earns a big pop from the crowd. Edge goes for the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back. Before Edge can submit, Batista comes in and breaks it up. He throws Jericho into the ropes and then goes for Edge. Edge is able to deliver a tornado DDT on Batista and gets 2. Edge charges at Batista for the spear, but Jericho intercepts him. Batista then hits Jericho with a spinebuster and covers, but Edge breaks it up. Batista charges at Edge, who drops down and causes Batista to fall to the floor. Jericho runs up and rolls up Edge for 2. Edge blocks a crappy bulldog attempt by Jericho, but when he tries again Jericho is able to hit it. As Batista tries to reenter, Jericho hits him with a springboard dropkick. That diversion allows Edge to nail Jericho with the spear and cover him for the 1-2-3.

BL: It seemed like it would have been an ordinary triple threat, but thanks to a mutinous crowd, the match became a little bit more interesting. I can understand Canadian fans’ reactions most of the time, but I’m not sure why they weren’t liking their hometown son here. It’s not like WWE rammed it down their throats that he was from Toronto. Despite the abnormal crowd reactions, it was abundantly clear that this match would have been so much better had it just been between Edge and Jericho. There was an electricity there when they faced off that vanished whenever Batista was involved. His presence dragged this down from a pretty good match to just an average one. ** ¼

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle [Smackdown]

It’s been no secret that Kurt Angle has hated Eddie Guerrero after he beat him at Wrestlemania XX. Once Kurt became GM he did everything possible to end Eddie’s reign and finally succeeded once JBL beat him at the Great American Bash. In Eddie’s title rematch, he was screwed over by “El Gran Luchadore”, who was revealed to be a now healthy Kurt Angle. Now back on the active roster, Kurt faces Eddie here so they can finally settle this issue. The two vie for control and neither one gets it initially. The crowd begins a ‘Let’s go Angle’ chant. Angle gets an armbar on Eddie, but he escapes and delivers a pair of armdrags. Angle connects with a German suplex, but when he goes for a second, Eddie escapes and puts Angle in an ankle lock. Angle maneuvers out of it and puts Eddie in a clawhold. Angle then connects with an Angle slam and puts down the straps. Angle puts the ankle lock on Eddie, who manages to grab Angle’s leg and puts him back into an ankle lock as well. Angle breaks free, but maintains his ankle lock on Eddie. Eddie makes it to the ropes, but Luther Reigns boots him in the head behind the referee’s back. Angle puts Eddie back into the ankle lock, but Eddie again makes it to the ropes. Angle decides to wear down the ankle even more by ramming it into the post. Eddie tries to mount a comeback with some chops, but Angle takes him down and puts him in an STF. With Eddie in the hold, Angle tries to unlace Eddie’s boot. Eddie jawjacks Angle and then hits him with an Angle slam. Eddie’s used more of Angle’s moves than his own. Eddie fires away on Angle to start his comeback. Eddie delivers the Three Amigos and then goes up top. However, Angle pops up and slams him off. That gets 2. Angle attempts another Angle Slam, but Eddie reverses it into a DDT. Eddie goes up again and tries for the frog splash, but Angle moves out of the way. Angle delivers the Angle Slam and gets a nearfall. Angle now rips off Eddie’s boot and puts him back in the ankle lock. In trying to get out of the hold, Eddie sends Angle into the referee. With the referee down, Eddie grabs his boot and nails Angle with it. Eddie connects with the frog splash and covers, but Kurt kicks out at 2. As Eddie argues with the ref on the count, Kurt puts Eddie into the ankle lock. Eddie keeps trying to roll through it, but Angle won’t let go. Angle is able to grapevine the leg and with Eddie trapped he has no choice but to tap.

BL: I want to like this match more than I did. It was certainly full of energy, but I felt that they tried to be too cute with the psychology here. Angle wanted so desperately to avenge Eddie for fooling him with the boot at Wrestlemania, that he became one dimensional in this match. His focus was on the ankle and nothing more. Meanwhile, I couldn’t get any sense of what Eddie was trying to do by using so many of Kurt’s own moves. It also seemed weird that with all the hatred they established these two had for each other that this wasn’t more of a physical, bloody battle, especially considering some of the matches Eddie has had with JBL recently. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still been the best match of the night, but I think they tried too hard and ended up hurting themselves. Sometime it is best just to keep it simple. *** ¾

Eugene vs. Triple H [RAW]

After Triple H’s plan to manipulate Eugene in order to win back the World Heavyweight Championship backfired, Triple H has been hellbent on making Eugene’s life miserable. This has included a bloody beatdown of Eugene’s friend William Regal. Now Eugene will either get his revenge or Triple H will finish him off for good. Just as aside, while watching the video package for this match, I noticed that Eugene and Lita run in exactly the same fashion. Ha ha! In what has to be a bad omen, Eugene gets booed during his entrance. HHH quickly knocks down Eugene and beats him up in the corner. Eugene recovers with an elbow and a back bodydrop. On the floor, Eugene hits a double ax handle. HHH grabs Lillian Garcia and uses her as a shield. He then shoves her down and when Eugene checks on her, HHH kicks him. Back inside, HHH puts the boots to Eugene. HHH clears off the Spanish announce table and then tries to suplex Eugene out of the ring onto it, but Eugene blocks it and suplexes him back in. Eugene then connects with a 10-punch count on HHH in the corner. Eugene goes to attack him further, but it appears that HHH has injured his knee. The ref gives the X sign, which now means it’s a fake injury. And sure enough, with the ref and Eugene’s backs turned, HHH nails Eugene from behind. HHH goes back on offense with a backbreaker. Now we get a ‘Eugene sucks’ chant. Eugene hits a high knee and then kicks away on HHH in the corner. HHH begs off and offers a handshake. Eugene obliges and pulls HHH in for a Rock Bottom. Eugene then tries for the People’s Elbow, but HHH pops up and delivers a spinebuster. Big pop for that. As HHH chokes Eugene, the crowd starts a ‘Triple H’ chant. On the floor, HHH whips Eugene into the steps. Back in the ring, a slugfest breaks out. HHH ends it by putting Eugene into a sleeper. Eugene escapes, but HHH grabs him and sets him up for the Pedigree. However, Eugene is able to avoid the move by delivering a back bodydrop. HHH rams Eugene’s head into the turnbuckles, but Eugene no sells them. Eugene starts to mount a comeback. HHH tries to kick him, but Eugene blocks it, flips him off and gives him a Stunner. That actually draws a pop from the crowd. Suddenly, Ric Flair makes his way out to the ring. That perks up the crowd. Eugene boots HHH and then delivers the legdrop. That gets 2 ¾. Eugene then knocks Flair off the apron. After monkey flipping HHH into the corner, Eugene delivers the Pedigree. He covers, but Flair puts HHH’s foot on the rope before 3. Eugene tries to come off the ropes, but Flair trips him. The ref sees that and ejects Flair. Flair doesn’t want to leave, but suddenly William Regal comes out and nails him with brass knuckles. Eugene loves seeing that. Unfortunately, that gives HHH time to recover. He grabs Eugene and delivers the Pedigree. He covers and gets the win.

BL: This is a tough one to call, mainly because of Eugene. The Eugene character does plenty of stuff to not make you want to root for him, which was evidenced by the Canadian crowd turning on him. But the character is also pretty smart in the ring and has a fun moveset because he borrows so many other wrestler’s moves. I think if this match plays anywhere else, it would have been great because HHH did a great job of heeling it up out there. But in this context, the action didn’t coincide with the audience reaction. As for the finish, it’s deflating to see another kick wham pedigree finish, but it was probably the right call as Eugene doesn’t deserve to typically be this high up on the card. Despite all of the problems, I found myself still enjoying it for the most part. *** ¾

Diva Dodgeball

This was the first year of the Diva search contest. It was also the same year that the Dodgeball movie came out. So to help promote their skank contest, they had these ladies square off against the current RAW divas. The RAW divas consist Trish Stratus, Jazz, Gail Kim, Stacy Keibler, Nidia, Victoria, and Molly Holly. The diva search roster includes current WWE divas Maria and Michelle McCool, along with five other hoes. I don’t feel a play by play is necessary. The ladies have balls thrown at them, something they should be familiar with. The end result is the diva search floozies winning, which I have to assume means this wasn’t a work. The segment ends with Victoria and Trish brawling. At least they had the right sense to have this done away from the arena so the Canadian crowd couldn’t crap all over it. When they come back to the arena, the crowd is booing though, which somehow shocks Lawler.

WWE Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (champ) vs. The Undertaker [Smackdown]

So after the Undertaker murdered Paul Bearer at the Great American Bash, nary a word was said about it on Smackdown. Instead, everyone went back to business as usual and treated Taker like a babyface. This included interrupting JBL and saying ‘you, me, Summerslam’. That apparently is the equivalent of a binding contract because here we are with Smackdown’s main event based on that flimsy of a premise. Taker quickly grabs JBL and throws him to the floor. He follows him out there and rams his arm into the steps. Back inside, Taker continues to work on that arm. Taker starts to go up for Old School, but JBL stops him. JBL then hits a swinging neckbreaker. A sideslam by JBL gets 2. JBL goes up top and hits a shouldertackle. He then drops an elbow and gets a nearfall. Taker stops JBL’s offense with an armbar. Still holding onto the arm, Taker goes up and connects with Old School. Taker wears down JBL with a triangle choke. The hold is broken when Orlando Jordan puts JBL’s leg into the rope. JBL tries to confer with Jordan, but Taker boots him. The distraction allows JBL to chopblock Taker. JBL then repeatedly rams Taker’s leg into the post. Jordan distracts the ref while JBL hits Taker’s leg with a chair. Taker tries to comeback by ramming JBL’s head into the steps. As Taker walks back up the steps, JBL sweeps him to cause more injury to the leg. Jordan throws Taker back into the ring. JBL puts Taker in a leglock. As that happens, the crowd begins the wave. They are really into this match! Taker counters by putting JBL in a rolling kneebar. Taker knocks JBL to the outside and then rams him into the Spanish announce table. On the apron, Taker delivers a legdrop on JBL. The crowd starts to chant ‘Spanish table’. When it appears they won’t use it, the crowd boos. JBL drops Taker across the top rope and then goes up top. Taker stops him and then suplexes him off. Taker covers and gets 2. Taker attempts the Last Ride, but JBL hits him in the knee. As JBL works the leg, Taker grabs him for a chokeslam. JBL escapes that, but then gets hit with a spinebuster. A slugfest breaks out and is won by Taker. Taker hits a big clothesline and then gives JBL snake eyes. That gives Taker a nearfall. Taker connects with a chokeslam, but somehow JBL kicks out before 3. As Taker sets up JBL for the Pedigree, Jordan comes into the ring. Taker goes over and chases him out, but the distraction is enough to allow JBL to hit Taker with the Clothesline from Hell. That gets 2 ¾. Taker reverses a whip and accidentally sends JBL into the referee. Then both men boot the other. Jordan tosses the title belt to JBL, who blasts Taker with it. JBL covers, but the ref is still out. Jordan grabs the referee and makes the count for him, but Taker still kicks out at 2. Jordan tries to attack the referee, but Taker dumps him to the floor. JBL then delivers another Clothesline from Hell. JBL punches away on Taker in the corner, but Taker reverses it into a Last Ride. Taker covers and gets a long 2 count. Jordan again tries to interfere with the belt, but Taker knocks him down. Taker grabs the belt and nails JBL with it. The referee sees that and calls for the DQ. Ugh!

Postmatch: Taker takes JBL outside and slams him on the hood of his limo. Taker is about to leave, but changes his mind. He grabs JBL and chokeslams him through the roof of his limo. Interesting note…as Taker and JBL started to head out of the ring for that postmatch segment, off-camera some idiot fan had climbed up onto the roof of the limo. I can only imagine what would have happened had he accidentally fallen through that gimmicked roof.

BL: Things actually started off all right in this match. I liked how both men had tried to take a body part and work on it. It seemed like the best way to have these two big men work a decent match. But then the match started to fall apart and was marred by a ton of unnecessary outside interference from Jordan. It was then capped off by that lame DQ finish. I guess we shouldn’t have expected anymore since we knew that they weren’t going to take the title off JBL this soon and they certainly weren’t going to have Taker job to him. Of course, the worse news is that this means a continuation of this feud. We can only hope that the next match mirrors more of the opening minutes of this match rather than its closing minutes. ** ½

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Benoit (champ) vs. Randy Orton

So Orton won a battle royal two weeks ago to become the number one contender. So on the second biggest show of the year, you have the main event for your most important brand set up two weeks before the show and it was set up by a meaningless battle royal instead of any sort of rivalry between the two competitors. Brilliant. The two go through a feeling out process to begin. They engage in a test of strength, which Orton initially wins. Benoit powers back up and puts Orton into a wristlock. Orton hits a shouldertackle on Benoit and poses. Give me a break. He then comes off the ropes and immediately gets put back into the wristlock. Orton misses a dropkick, so Benoit tries to put him in the Sharpshooter. Orton blocks it and actually puts Benoit in the Sharpshooter. Benoit powers out of it and puts Orton back into the hold. As Orton gets close to the ropes, Benoit puts him in the Crossface. Benoit keeps the hold on him as they both exit the ring. Orton manages to shove him off and into the post. Orton now begins to work on that injured arm and shoulder of Benoit’s. Orton drops Benoit across the top rope. He tries to suplex him back in, but Benoit blocks it. The two fight on the apron until Benoit DDTs him. Benoit baseball slides into Orton and then dives through the ropes with a tope. However, Orton moves and Benoit crashes into the barricade. Ouch! Orton brings Benoit back in and gets 2. Orton now puts Benoit in his patented chinlock. Orton gut wrenches Benoit into a backbreaker and then ultimately drops him. That gets a long 2. Benoit chops away on Orton and then both men collide in the middle of the ring going for a crossbody. A slugfest breaks out (there sure have been a lot of them tonight) and is won by Benoit. Benoit starts to mount his comeback and hits Orton with a Northern Lights suplex. That gets 2. Benoit sets Orton up top and tries for a suplex, but Orton knocks him off. Orton then hits a high crossbody and gets a nearfall. Orton goes for the RKO, but Benoit shoves him off. Benoit tries for the Sharpshooter, but Orton blocks that. Benoit connects with a German suplex and then is able to put on the Sharpshooter. Orton seems to pass out from the pain, so the ref checks on him, but his hand doesn’t go down three times. When do you ever see that spot for a heel? Eventually Orton makes it to the ropes. Benoit now scores with the Hat Trick times 2. Benoit goes up for the diving headbutt, but Orton gets his legs up in time. Orton covers, but Benoit kicks out and puts him in the Crossface. Orton rolls through it to escape. Benoit goes for another German suplex, but Orton elbows him. Orton goes for the RKO, but Benoit escapes. But then Orton turns around again and this time does hit the RKO. He covers and gets the 3 count. WTF?!?

Postmatch: Orton celebrates like a girl and then they have Benoit actually shake his hand in congratulations.

BL: I know real life events have made it more difficult for most people to be upset about this match. But you have to realize how moronic of a move this was at the time. The only reason why Orton was given the strap was because the WWE was being childish and petty and didn’t want Brock Lesnar to have the moniker of ‘World’s Youngest Champion’. If that’s your reasoning, that’s pathetic, but I’ll accept it if you do a decent job in building up the person to take over that title. Let me repeat, Orton was made #1 contended two weeks before this and did it by winning a battle royale. Then when you look at this match, he wins the title on a fluke RKO that came after Benoit had been in control. You’re trying to tell me that after months of building Benoit up as this tough and determined champion, one RKO is going to be enough to put him away? Hell, Benoit kicked out of Pedigrees, but this apparently was too much for him. The rest of the match was better than most Orton matches and worse than most Benoit matches. I don’t get angry over much when it comes to something as silly as pro wrestling, but this match is just a monumental brainfart, that you can’t help but get upset. Rating: ** ¾

Final Thoughts: Let’s begin with the show’s top two matches. Neither title match had a storyline sufficient enough to warrant a video package explaining the events leading up to the match. That’s just poor planning, especially for as big of a show as Summerslam. Then to cap it off, you have both matches booked with terrible finishes that do nothing but just anger fans. The rest of the show had some better developed feuds, but the matches were lacking something for various reasons whether it was not enough time, poor psychology, or bizarre crowd responses. Speaking of the Canadian crowd, I can typically get behind their nonconventional attitude, but tonight it seemed misplaced. Their reactions weren’t based so much on a passionate response against WWE conventions, but rather just acting out for the sake of being unconventional. The failure of the main events combined with the lack of one blow-away great match makes this show a thumbs down.

Next time, the WWE starts to try and correct all the wrong that they created by having Orton become World Heavyweight champion.

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue