Emanating from the Rose Garden in Portland, OR

Your commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

Opening match: Chris Benoit and William Regal vs. Ric Flair and Batista

He gets an early Crossface attempt in, but Batista quickly grabs the bottom rope. Batista tries to overpower Benoit, but he uses his speed to avoid any real damage. Regal is tagged in, but Batista still seems consumed with Benoit. He gives Benoit a cheap shot on the apron. Benoit returns the favor though and then Regal suplexes Batista. Batista tags in Flair, who engages in a chop-off with Benoit. The faces are making quick tags and absolutely brutalizing Flair in the corner. Not surprisingly, a Flair flop follows. Flair thumbs Regal in the eye and then delivers a chopblock. Regal manages to tag Benoit before Flair can gain any momentum.
 
Once again Benoit and Flair are laying some vicious chops in on each other. Flair tries to attack Benoit’s knee, but Benoit retaliates with an enziguri. Once again, Flair flops. Flair finally tags out and Batista takes it to Regal. Batista tries to slam Benoit, but he escapes and attempts the Sharpshooter. Batista manages to power out of that too. Regal gets caught in the heel corner and gets worked over thanks to dirty heel tactics. A back suplex by Flair gets 2. As Regal starts to mount a comeback, Batista nails him from the apron. Flair chopblocks Regal again and then puts him in the figure four leglock. Benoit comes in and breaks up the hold. As Flair tries to put it on again, Regal hooks him in a small package for 2. Batista slams Regal and covers, but Benoit breaks that up as well. Batista and Regal collide mid-ring and then both tag out.
 
Benoit completely unloads on Flair with chops and fists. Benoit hits Flair with a German suplex and then gives one to Batista, who tried running in and interfering. Benoit gives Flair two more Germans and then connects with the diving headbutt. As Benoit tries to put on the Sharpshooter, Flair thumbs him. Benoit recovers and puts Flair in the Crossface. Batista comes in, picks Benoit up off of Flair and then throws him into the mat. He then gives Regal a spinebuster. Regal and Batista take their fight to the floor where Regal shoves Batista into the post. Batista misses a clothesline and falls into the crowd. Meanwhile in the ring, Flair goes for the figure four, but Benoit counters it and puts him back into the Crossface. With nowhere to go, Flair has no choice but to tap.

Bottom Line: I may not have liked how Benoit got shoved out of the main event scene so quickly, but he still put on an entertaining match even if he was at the opposite end of the card. You had three pros in there and Batista did his job as the power man. This was the perfect model for a tag match as you had the faces enjoying beating up Flair early on, then the heels did an effective job working over Regal in the Ricky Morton sequence and then you finish strong with the faces going over. In a vacuum, this is a fantastic opener. In ’04 you may have not been able to enjoy this match if you thought it wasted Benoit. Today, you may not like it because you never want to watch another Benoit match again. If you can look past the Benoit factor, you should enjoy this one. *** ¼

- Christian and Trish are walking backstage and arguing whether or not Tomko should accompany Trish to the ring for her match tonight. They can’t come to an agreement, so they let Tomko decide. Before he gives his answer, Trish whispers an incentive into his ear, which of course tips the scales in her favor. As they walk away, Christian says she is a slut. I hate seeing these two fight. Will somebody please think of the children!!

Women’s Championship Match: Trish Stratus (champ) vs. Victoria

I would say that this came about after their squabble at the end of Diva Dodgeball, but that would insinuate that they actually plan out storylines for the women’s division. I should mention that hearing Jerry Lawler discuss using Clearisil to appeal to women is quite disturbing.
 
The ladies lockup and Victoria easily overpowers her. Trish knees a charging Victoria and then works her over in the corner. Victoria gets Trish up in a gorilla press and then delivers a gutbuster. Wow, impressive. Victoria kicks Trish to the floor and then goes up top. However, Tomko moves Trish out of the way before Victoria can do anything. Trish elbows Victoria on the apron and then throws her into the post. Trish brings Victoria back into the ring and covers her for 2. Now Trish begins to lay the boots to Victoria. Victoria’s back continues to receive punishment as Trish puts her in a surfboard-like hold. Victoria begins to mount some offense, but Trish stops her with a spinebuster. That gets 2. Again Victoria tries a comeback with a tilt-a-whirl slam, which gets a nearfall. Victoria slams Trish and then hits a standing moonsault. That gets another 2 count. Victoria goes for a clothesline, but Trish bends herself out of the way. However, Victoria recovers and gives Trish a headbutt. Then Victoria launches herself over the top rope and hits Tomko with a crossbody. Tomko starts to chase Victoria, who runs into the ring and gets hit with the Stratusfaction. Trish covers and scores the 3 count.

Postmatch: Tomko begins choking out Victoria when a red-haired ‘woman’ runs out and DDTs him. Tomko gets on the mic and says he’s tired of being attacked by this woman and says he’s going to uncover his/her identity right now. That leads us to…

Impromptu match: Tyson Tomko vs. Mystery Woman

Really there was no mystery here. After weeks of these attacks on Tomko, everyone had figured out that it was Stevie Richards, Victoria’s old pal, who was dressed in drag. After Stevie slaps him, Tomko knocks him down and proceeds to strip him of all his ladies’ apparel. While that should have been the end, we then unnecessarily get several minutes of Tomko using various choke holds on Stevie. Tomko calls Stevie a ‘sissy’, which apparently is the equivalent of calling Marty McFly ‘yellow’ as an enraged Stevie begins to mount a futile comeback. After a couple of minutes of token offense, Tomko hits him with a torture rack into a neckbreaker and pins him for 3.

BL: Sometimes 2 for 1 isn’t that great of a deal. Let’s first talk about the women’s match, which was bookended by some great offense by these two. Some impressive moves displayed, particularly Victoria’s power stuff. The match sagged a big with some unnecessarily long rest holds in the middle, but overall this was an above average women’s match. Let’s call it ** ¾ The restholds in the women’s match however, pale in comparison to what we got in that impromptu match. I have no idea what to make of that. They set it up like it should have been a swift reveal of Richards followed by Tomko winning. However, I guess due to time issues, they had these guys stay out there way past when they should have. The end results was a listless beatdown that killed the crowd and left the announcers flabbergasted as to what to say. What a complete waste of PPV time. Give that thing -**

Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho vs. Christian

In what had been an all too frequent trend for him, Edge had injured himself again recently. As a result, he was stripped of the Intercontinental title. So in order to determine a new champion, they set up a ladder match involving Christian. Hey, where have I heard that before?
 
Jericho and Christian get nose to nose before Christian slaps him. Jericho retaliates and hits Christian with a couple of back suplexes. Christian tosses Jericho over the top rope, but he hangs on and backflips Christian out to the floor. Jericho grabs a ladder and throws it at Christian, who manages to avoid it. Inside, Jericho connects with a running enziguri and then goes for a ladder. Christian tries to baseball slide the ladder into Jericho, but he moves. Jericho hits Christian with the ladder, but when he tries it a second time, Christian ducks and Jericho rams the ladder into the post.
 
The fight spills into the crowd where Christian punches away on Jericho. Back at ringside, Jericho chokes out Christian with a camera cord. Christian whips Jericho into the steps, but he puts on the brakes. Jericho jumps off the steps, but Christian kicks him. Christian then nails Jericho with the Unprettier on the floor. Christian brings a ladder into the ring and climbs, but Jericho comes in at the last second and stops him. Christian gets down and whips Jericho into the ladder. Christian places the ladder on the top rope and then tries to whip Jericho. However, Jericho reverses the whip and sends Christian into the ladder. Jericho sends Christian into the turnbuckle, but he recovers and throws Jericho into the ladder. Christian puts the ladder into the corner and then monkey flips Jericho into it. Christian tries climbing again, but Jericho stops him. Christian puts Jericho in the corner and the ladder in front of him. Christian then charges, but Jericho throws the ladder at him. Jericho climbs up top and drives the ladder down onto Christian. Jericho attempts his crappy bulldog, but Christian tosses him into the ladder where Jericho’s leg gets hung up in the ropes. As Christian begins to climb, Jericho flips him off. For some reason, Christian opts to stop climbing.
 
Christian charges at Jericho with the ladder, but Jericho dropkicks it back in Christian’s face. Now Jericho does his crappy bulldog onto the ladder. Jericho wedges Christian in between the ladder. He goes for the Lionsault, but Christian moves so Jericho only hits the ladder. Christian knocks Jericho out of the ring and begins to climb again. With his hand on the belt, Jericho is able to knock the ladder out from under him. Christian is dangling from the belt. Jericho nails Christian with the ladder, who then falls to the mat. Jericho places Christian under the ladder and starts climbing.
 
Christian escapes and dumps the ladder over, causing Jericho to fall into the top rope. Christian goes up again, but Jericho climbs up also and puts him in the Walls of Jericho on the ladder. Christian falls down, while Jericho reaches for the title. Somehow Christian recovers and knocks down the ladder. As a result, Jericho falls to the mat in a scary looking spot. He could have been seriously injured there. Christian brings in a second ladder and begins to climb. Meanwhile, Jericho sets up the first ladder and climbs that. Both men fight for the title before they both fall to the mat. Jericho is the first to recover. He is able to climb back up and this time take down the title to once again become the Intercontinental champion.

BL: I’d have to actually call this somewhat disappointing. They just never seemed to get a good flow here. The early parts of the match were severely lacking in ladder action. Once the ladder did get involved, it was a mix of familiar and sloppy spots. The closing minutes had some decent action however, but it was almost a case of too little too late. The finish also seemed to be somewhat anticlimactic. And as much as I like Jericho, I would have much rather seen Christian win the title here. It’s hard not to make a ladder match entertaining, but this falls on the lower spectrum of these matches. ***

- Todd Grisham tries to talk to Kane, but gets Lita instead. She says she hopes Shawn Michaels destroys her ‘husband’ tonight. As she rants about how much she wants Shawn to win, Kane walks up behind her. He doesn’t seem that bothered by it because he informs Todd that Eric Bischoff just made his match no holds barred. He then tells Lita that what happens to Shawn tonight will be ‘our’ fault. And they say men never want to share anything in a relationship.

- Jonathan Coachman chats with Chris Jericho about his victory. Jericho brags about becoming a record-breaking 7 time Intercontinental champion. He’s interrupted by Edge who says he plans on taking that title back real soon. That is, if Mr. Glass can stay healthy long enough to schedule the match.

No Holds Barred Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

The night after Bad Blood, Kane put Shawn Michaels on the injured reserve list by Pillmanizing his neck. While Shawn recovered, Kane was busy getting married to Lita. As a wedding present to Kane, Eric Bischoff gave him an open contract at Unforgiven. Lita took the opportunity to put Shawn’s name on the contract, which brings us to tonight.
 
Kane drives Shawn back into the corner and works him over. Shawn recovers and takes down Kane with a Lou Thesz Press. Shawn punches away on Kane, ultimately knocking him out of the ring. Kane yells at Lita, which allows Shawn to come out and attack him. Kane goes for a clothesline, but Shawn moves and he hits the post instead. Shawn tries for something off the top rope, but Kane nails him on his way down. Kane slugs away on Shawn in the corner. Kane clotheslines Shawn in the corner and covers him for 2. Kane slams Shawn, but misses a follow up elbow. Shawn clotheslines Kane out of the ring and then skins the cat. Kane again yells at Lita. Shawn launches himself over the top rope and hits Kane with a crossbody.
 
Kane uses Lita as a shield and then nails Shawn. Kane drops Shawn across the barrier and then begins to dismantle the Spanish announce table. Kane picks up Shawn and slams him onto the table, which doesn’t break. Kane grabs Shawn and now suplexes onto the table, which does break this time. Back in, Kane gets a long 2 count. A legdrop by Kane gets another nearfall. Shawn boots a charging Kane. Kane quickly recovers though and hits him with a side slam. Things slow down as Kane wears out Shawn with a chinlock. Shawn powers out of it, but then gets dropped with a clothesline. Kane tries to set Shawn up in the corner, but he escapes and hits him with a DDT. A slugfest ends with Shawn hitting the flying forearm.
 
In a funny moment, Lawler questions why Lita is rooting for Shawn because it’s not like he’ll financially support her when the baby comes. Perhaps he knew back then that Shawn was no good with money. Kane sits up, but Shawn is able to kip up. Kane reverses a whip and sends Shawn to the corner where he flips out of the ring. On the floor, Kane sends Shawn into the steps. That busts Shawn open.
 
Inside, Kane tries to use a chair, but Shawn boots him. Kane knocks down Shawn, but he refuses to stay down. An elbow by Kane sends Shawn to the floor. Kane places Shawn’s head against the post and tries to boot him, but Shawn moves out of the way. Shawn then rams Kane’s head into the post. Back inside, Shawn knocks down Kane and then hits his flying elbow. Shawn tunes up the band, but when he goes for the kick, Kane boots him. Kane covers, but only gets 2 ¾. Kane goes up top and hits the flying clothesline. Kane grabs Shawn for a chokeslam, but Shawn lowblows him. Shawn grabs the chair and blasts Kane with it. Kane sits up and goes for the chair, but Lita pulls it out of the ring. Kane yells at Lita and when he turns around Shawn tries for Sweet Chin Music. Kane is able to block it and then attempts a chokeslam. Shawn escapes that and then does connect with the superkick. Shawn covers and gets the 1-2-3.

BL: Leave it to Shawn to make Kane’s plodding offense seem interesting. I’ll admit that the no holds barred stip also helped things. It especially helped provide Kane with some extra devastating offense that Shawn was able to wonderfully sell. This was no mat classic, but there’s no one better at taking a beating and still prevailing like Shawn. Thanks to his efforts this ended up being watchable. ***

- Todd Grisham interviews Triple H about his title match tonight. Triple H tells him that Randy Orton was a nothing until he took him under his wing. Hard arguing with that. He then says that Orton is good, just not as good as him. Nice try Trips at trying to make Orton seem like a legitimate main eventer, but we’re not buying it.

World Tag Team Championship Match: La Resistance (champs) vs. Rhyno and Tajiri

Ah, nice to see the random tag team generator is back up and running again. Grenier locks up with Tajiri and quickly knocks him down. The two compete in some mat wresting that goes nowhere. Now Rhyno and Conway are in there engaging in some more generic action. Rhyno tries for a gore, but Conway bails out of the ring. Rhyno whips Conway to the corner and then tries charging after him, but Conway moves out of the way. Conway then delivers an armbar takedown. The heels now begin to make frequent tags working over Rhyno’s arm. Rhyno manages to hit a belly to belly suplex and then tag Tajiri. Tajiri lays some stiff kicks in on Conway and covers, but Grenier breaks it up. As Tajiri goes for his handspring elbow, he ends up nailing Grenier on the apron. Tajiri attempts a tornado DDT, but Conway shoves him off. Grenier comes in and tries to work over Tajiri. A backbreaker by Grenier gets 2. The heels wear down Tajiri with some double-teaming behind the referee’s back. Tajiri comes back with a hurricanrana on Conway. He then boots him and tags Rhyno. Rhyno comes in and cleans house. A belly to belly suplex on Grenier gets 2. Rhyno hits Grenier with a spinebuster and covers, but Conway breaks it up. The heels hit Rhyno with a flapjack and get a nearfall. All four men are in the ring now as the ref has lost control. In a contrived spot, Tajiri hops on La Resistance’s flag and ends up crotching Grenier with the post. Rhyno then gores him and covers, but Conway puts his foot on the ropes before 3. Tajiri fights Conway on the floor, which ties up the ref. As that happens, Grenier hits Rhyno with the flag pole. He covers and picks up the victory.

BL: A major yawner here. This obviously wasn’t some long standing feud and the only reason it made it onto the show was because they were desperate to fill their three hours. Rhyno and Taijri are both capable wrestlers, but they really couldn’t display their skills here. As for La Resistance, they aren’t terrible, they just do a lousy job of evoking any sort of interest from the audience. I wasn’t expecting much and that’s about what I got. * ¼

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (champ) vs. Triple H

So to the surprise of no one, Triple H took offense to Randy Orton winning the World Heavyweight title (why he never mentioned being bothered by this before Orton fought Benoit is unclear though). The only surprise was the fact that they decided to go ahead and have these two fight each other so soon.
 
We get some major stalling to begin. HHH shoves Orton, so he slaps him in return. The two engage in some mat wrestling, which ends with Orton once again slapping HHH. Then he spits at him. Clearly, a champion we can all be proud of. Orton whips HHH to the corner and then gives him a back body drop. A kneedrop by Orton gets 2. Now Orton slaps on a chinlock. Well that didn’t take long. A slugfest is won by Orton. He then whips HHH to the corner, who proceeds to fall out of the ring.
 
On the floor, Orton clotheslines HHH. Back inside, Orton hits several uppercuts on HHH. It’s been surprisingly all Orton thus far. HHH finally stops the onslaught with a chopblock. HHH grabs Orton’s leg and tries to ram it into the post, but Orton pulls him into the post instead. HHH quickly recovers and continues his attack on Orton’s leg. Now he is able to ram it into the post. Orton tries to mount a comeback, but HHH stops that with a facebuster. That gets 2.
 
HHH continues his attack on Orton’s leg by putting him in the figure four leglock. Orton comes close to turning the hold over, but HHH fights back and then starts using the ropes for leverage behind the referee’s back. The referee eventually catches him and gets him to break the hold. HHH tries the figure four again, but Orton boots him off and into the corner. HHH’s head must have hit the post because he’s now busted open. Orton slugs away on HHH, but HHH stops him by kicking his bad leg. Orton powerslams HHH and gets 2. Orton thumbs HHH and then dropkicks him. That gets a nearfall. Orton gets another nearfall after delivering a DDT to HHH. HHH slaps on a sleeper, but then Orton escapes and puts HHH into one of his own. HHH escapes that with a back suplex. HHH goes up to the second rope and tries a move, but Orton boots him on his way down.
 
Now for some reason, Orton climbs up top. He connects with a high crossbody and gets a long 2 count. Orton clotheslines HHH out of the ring and then follows him out there. He grabs HHH and rams him into the steps. Back inside, Orton hits HHH with a neckbreaker and gets a nearfall. Orton goes for the RKO, but HHH shoves him off and into the referee. HHH attempts the Pedigree, but Orton gets out of it and delivers the RKO. Suddenly, Flair runs out and tries to attack him, but Orton fends him off. Batista joins the fray and charges at Orton, but he misses and posts his shoulder. HHH lowblows Orton as Coachman runs out with a referee shirt. He makes a count, but Orton kicks out. He knocks down Coach, but then Batista hits him with a spinebuster. HHH covers, and Coach counts, but Orton kicks out at 2 again. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him and then RKOs Coach. Flair tries to use a chair, but Orton thumbs him in the eye and then gives him an RKO. Batista is back in and goes for a Batista Bomb. Orton, however, manages to lowblow him. HHH is finally back up and he nails Orton with the chair. HHH then Pedigrees Orton on the chair. Batista throws the original ref back in and he makes the groggy three count. New champion!

BL: Man, it was so blatantly apparent that they were doing everything possible to make Orton seem like this sympathetic babyface. Too bad Orton doesn’t possess a likeable gene in his body, at least not then (him possessing one today is debatable). And this just isn’t my personal bias talking. Despite all of HHH’s classic heel tactics, the crowd sat on their hands through most of the match. Neither man’s offense here was very interesting, which made it difficult to sit through the match waiting for the inevitable finish. The argument for HHH needing another title reign is weak. But then again, the argument to give Orton the title in the first place was flimsy, yet they went ahead with that. What is clear is that they were setting up for Orton to get his chance to play concurring hero, but we all know that plan blew up in their face. That’s a story for another time though. **

Final Thoughts: Looking at the show as a whole, it’s better than I remember. You have several *** or better matches and a better than average women’s match. Yet while they are well worked matches, none of them are truly memorable or special. On top of that, there are certainly some black marks. The Richards/Tomko ‘match’ was a mess and we got another reminder of the sorry state of the tag team division. As for the main event, the idea of it was more depressing than the actual action. Seeing Orton be portrayed as the sympathetic babyface champion spits in the face of logic, no pun intended. And try as they might, their plan for igniting a magical feud just didn’t work out. I’ll give the show a marginal recommendation, but you are better off if you just stop watching after HBK’s match.

Next time, the WWE creates another ridiculous stipulation match in order to prevent the Undertaker from jobbing.

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue