by Big Danny T 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Well folks, looks like Big Danny T wasn’t just content on being your ever-faithful Smackdown! recapper. Oh no, I just had to get uppity and see if I could try my hand in being and actual honest-to-goshen columnist. So, for your enjoyment, I hereby bring you the debut column of Dan’s Deconstruction.

It breaks down like this: Every week, I will take a wrestler and basically break down all the aspects that have made him/her what s/he is today, and put forth a few theories on what the future holds for them.

So, who to pick as the subject for this momentous column? I thought long and hard on it, and decided to go with someone that I’m sure that you all will agree deserves this treatment. He’s an Internet darling who has been the subject of many columns before, so one more won’t hurt. Damen und Herren, I give you:

HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY
The History

HHH got his start with Killer Kowalski’s school up in Connecticut. This led to a forgettable tour of duty with WCW, both under his original gimmick, Terra Rizing, and his blue-blood snob persona, Jean-Paul Levisque. For whatever reason, the WWF felt that this young talent had some promise, so they brought him over and retooled him slightly and he became Hunter Hearst Helmsly, an upper class snob from Greenwich, CT. Initially, he was looked over by the general fanbase as just another wrestler.

That is, until DX happened.

HHH signed on with Shawn Michaels new renegade group of misfits as HBK’s right hand man. Along with X-Pac, Chyna, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn, they built DX into the most popular group in professional wrestling, eventually beating out the N.W.O. and the Four Horseman. When HBK had to drop out because of his back problems, HHH took over and ran with the ball. It was at this point that the Internet fanbase started clamoring for HHH to be elevated into the main event. He finally got his shot when Mankind, after winning the Heavyweight title from Stone Cold at Summerslam ‘99, dropped the title to HHH the next night on Monday Night Raw.

It didn’t take long, though, before HHH’s critics started to come out. After a string of successful title defenses, the small rumblings about HHH being a politician started, and when HHH broke the time honored tradition of having the Face Walk out with the title at Wrestlemania 2000, those rumblings got louder as people questioned the wisdom of having HHH be the one to end that streak. Meanwhile, HHH would continue on to become one of the best performers of 2000 and 2001, putting on 4 and 5 star match-ups with anyone who had the ability to walk to the ring. The fanbase was high on HHH.

Until HHH hooked up with Stephanie McMahon in real life.

Storyline wise, HHH had been involved with Stephanie since October of 1999, when HHH beat Test to the alter by doping up Stephanie and getting a quickie ceremony in Las Vegas. After a month or so of pulling the wool over Vince and Test’s eyes, the two of them screwed Vince over in the main event at Armageddon. It wasn’t long after when the news broke that not only were they involved on screen, they were becoming romantically involved off screen as well. The Smarks didn’t take this news well, and HHH, who couldn’t do any wrong before, suddenly became the target of derision and scorn. The accusations of his success only coming as a result of his boffing the boss’ daughter were numerous and loud. The fans that, at one time, wanted him elevated, were now accusing him of being at the top wrongfully and using his newfound political power to keep his place at the expense of the careers of other wrestlers.

During this time period, HHH continued to put on great matches and good storylines. He retired Mick Foley. As mentioned before, he was the first heel ever to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Title, and when Stone Cold turned heel after the following Wrestlemania, they teamed up to form the two man power trip.

It was during this time when fate would intervene and take HHH out. During an awesome match for the tag titles against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho, HHH tore his quad. Now, a lesser wrestler would have simply folded up and laid out the rest of the match, but HHH went another 5 minutes, getting put in the walls of Jericho and hitting a missed sledgehammer spot on Stone Cold that cost his team the titles. After the match, HHH was carried to the back and a subsequent doctors visit showed that HHH would need surgery and a long rehab period.

For 9 months, HHH got better. Meanwhile, other superstars took the ball and ran with it through a failed Invasion storyline and by the time HHH came back, Chris Jericho, long considered a victim of HHH’s political maneuverings, had won both the WCW and WWE titles, unifying them.

HHH came back 3 weeks before the Royal Rumble in January of 2002 and immediately set himself on the road back to regaining the title. Entering the Royal Rumble at #22 that year, would go on to win the whole thing, dumping Mr. Perfect and Kurt Angle in the final minutes to gain his title shot at Wrestlemania.

The next two months showcased what is quite possibly the worst buildup to a Wrestlemania main event ever. Instead of Jericho and HHH verbally and physically trying to get the better of each other, we got the Jericho and Stephanie Comedy hour, and HHH showing more concern over Lucy the ugly dog than actually winning the title. Add to that a Co-Main event just before the title match between Rock and Hogan that LITERALLY blew the roof off the place, and you’ve got one of the most lackluster title wins ever. 

HHH’s title run would only last about a month, however, as he was beat by Hulk Hogan at Backlash. From there, HHH kind of floated freely for a couple months until he won a title shot at the new Champion Brock Lesnar in a #1 contenders match. But the highly anticipated Brock/HHH match was never to be, as Stephanie (Now the General Manager of Smackdown) signed Brock to an exclusive Smackdown contract. Never to be daunted, Eric Bischoff resurrected the old WCW title and awarded it to HHH in a ceremony on Raw. This began a title reign that, with the exception of a 1-month hiatus between Survivor Series 2002 and Vengeance, has gone on for the longest in the past 10 years. He has defeated all comers for the strap (Booker T, RVD, Kane, HBK, Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash) and in the mean time, has been on the receiving end of an ever increasing pile of criticism and derision from the internet community with every defense, reaching an apex with his shoddy showing at Summerslam and his 3 minutes of work (thanks to his needing to take it easy because of a pulled groin muscle) culminating in a quick pin after a sledgehammer shot on Goldberg.

His Appeal

Back in the 80’s, there was an actor by the name of Dabney Coleman. He wasn’t a leading man; he was a character actor. His character? The man you love to hate. He was so good at playing smarmy, sleazy, dickheads that he became typecast in the role. When you saw his name on the cast list, you knew that you were going to have an entertaining scumbag in the movie.

This is the same as HHH. He has become the wrestler you love to hate. I can’t count how many times I’ve had friends or netizins tell me, “Oh god, I can’t STAND HHH!” This is exactly the type of reaction that HHH is going for. “No, you don’t understand, I REALLY hate HHH.” Yes, but do you change the channel when he comes on? Does his presence get you righteously indignant and hoping that someone, ANYONE, will come along and take the title from him? Do you tune in every week hoping that maybe THIS will be the week that HHH drops the title? Then HHH is doing his job effectively. His lack of decent workrate over the past year has been more than compensated by the fact that HHH has the charisma to be an effective heel without throwing a single punch.

And the crowd loves to boo him. His lackluster face run last year demonstrated this. As soon as he pedigreed HBK in the middle of the ring after they teased the return of DX, the fans slipped into “I hate HHH” mode as easily as putting on an old comfortable pair of gloves. HHH knows what to say and when to say it for maximum effectiveness, and a few missteps aside (Katie Vick being the most horrid of them), the feuds with him on the bad guy side have been all the more entertaining because of it.

His Value

HHH has positioned himself as one of Raw’s most valuable performers. He has had his fingers in every storyline that has even come close to the main event for the past year. He has proven that he can carry the ball as the top heel in the company and has run with it for good or bad with the same enthusiasm. He has an almost unparalleled love for the business, turning down offers for movie roles so that he can stay active in the ring. His recovery and rapid return from the quad tear (the severity of which could have ended his career), is admirable, even though a number of online pundits say that he rushed back too fast. HHH has a place in the WWE, and that place is on top, being the guy that we can’t wait to see dethroned.

His Future

Honestly, to keep HHH fresh and interesting, he has no future on Raw. He’s beaten everyone there and any future feuds with competitors he’s already beaten will only lead to lackluster responses and squashing mid-carders will get old quick.

The solution? Trade him (and Evolution) to Smackdown.

On Smackdown, he’ll have a whole plethora of main event people to work with, starting with Kurt Angle. His comment on the August 25^th Raw about Smackdown being a second rate promotion and having only a paper Champion sets up the feud beautifully. And after Kurt, there’s that HHH vs. Brock match we never got, which should also be very entertaining when it actually happens, as Brock has upped his game over the past year. Rounding out the list of competitors that HHH could have entertaining feuds with are Benoit, Big Show, Undertaker (he might want to get that Wrestlemania X-7 win back), and Eddie Guererro.

But, as I don’t see WWE being that ballsy to make that big a shift, his prospects on Raw, while having the ‘same as it ever was’ vibe, could still be entertaining. His up-coming match against Goldberg (provided Goldberg doesn’t lose) should keep a rivalry going through to Survivor series, at least. I personally would love to see a well-booked Jericho vs. HHH feud go down. And as soon as the Rock returns from making Walking Tall, he could sleepwalk through a feud with HHH and it would still be one of the more entertaining match-ups out there. Other competitors that could possibly step up to the plate (but would need character rebuilding before doing so) would be Kane, RVD, and Booker T (when/if he returns.) The only other options for Raw would be to trade for a Smackdown Superstar.

In Conclusion

I’m not so naïve as to think that HHH hasn’t used his relationships to keep his spot. But lets be honest here, people, ANYONE, given the same set of circumstances would do the same. We have just been fortunate that the man with the power is also pretty entertaining in his own right. If HHH can get over his chronic injuries (maybe a 2-3 month hiatus after having Goldberg destroy him at Unforgiven), then I see no reason why he shouldn’t be able to back up his mouth with good performances in the ring again. HHH is going to be around for a good long time, so let’s just sit back, relax, and enjoy that fact that we have a wrestler that we love to hate.

E-MAIL DANNY
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