by Scotty Szanto-Nicodemus 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Oh, and regarding my distinction yesterday between using the word “greatest” instead of “favorite”…well, I will just tell you that if I was to vote for the greatest matches and moments in ECW history, I would probably vote for the ones included in today’s recap.  Tomorrow when I debut my #1s, well, they were chosen using different criteria because they were picked as my own personal favorites.

Enough about tomorrows offering, lets get right to the #3s and #2s right now:

ECW: History in Review
#3 and #2

(Disclaimer:  This is not meant to be a “History of ECW” piece.  There are plenty of places where you can go to get the historical minutia that you desire, and I am not the man to give that info to you anyway.  I started watching ECW regularly just before they got their show on TNN, and so I was really only a die-hard fan of the fed for a little over a year before they went out of business.  But, in that time, and since that time, I have collected as many ECW tapes as I could afford to get my hands on.  Based on the tapes in my collection, I have gathered together a few Top Ten Lists.  Once again, these are not meant to be universally accepted as the top moments/matches/whatever in ECW history; rather, they represent some of my favorite moments/matches/whatever that appear in my tape collection.)

#3

Joel Gertner Poem:

After ECW had been on TNN for a while, fans began to expect a Joel Gertner poem even at house shows.  During tapings for TNN the fans would nearly get out of hand if things got interrupted by Cyrus, or in this example:

Joel…  
“I don’t have a line tonight.” As he starts to pass the mic to Joey, he repeats, “Joey, I don’t have a line tonight.” As a very loud “Bullshit!” chant starts, Joey says, “Well make something up!”

“Joey, I don’t have a line tonight,
I didn’t think of one during my airline flight,
But if I didn’t do a nickname it just wouldn’t be right,
And the girls I {fuck} here in Toledo are always nice and {tight}.” 
…Gertner

I thought that this was one of Joel Gertner’s highlights as far as reciting poems goes.  This instance really shows how Gertner had the ECW fans in the palms of his hands.
 

Promo:

Brian Pillman debuts.

This is from Cyberslam ’96 …the annual Internet convention, held February 17^th at the ECW Arena.  Joey Styles is in the ring to open the show, and after giving us the above info, he starts to preview what we are going to see, when the lights go out.  I’m not going to try and surprise you with who it is…it’s Brian Pillman standing in the ring when the lights come back on!  Yes indeed folks, the former Cincinnati Bengal; graduate of my alma mater, Miami University (playing for them when they were the Redskins instead of the more politically correct Redhawks); and one time 4-Horseman is in the ECW Arena!

Joey asks him straight up what he is doing there, and so he says, “Haven’t you heard?  I got fired by Eric Bischoff!”  He says that Bischoff is a pretty popular guy, especially with Pillman’s legal department!  He then tells Bischoff that he cannot take-away his constitutional rights, because Pillman is in Philadelphia, where the Constitution was written!  He goes-on to rant on Bischoff, finishing by calling him a “Fucking piece of shit!”  Since this was a direct-to video sort of thing, it is unedited…that’s a small thing, but uncensored is always better than censored, so I thought I’d let ya know.  It was being taped for television, apparently, because Styles says, “On that note, we have to go to commercial.”

Pillman grabs Styles and says, “You’re not running this interview, I am!  Because I’m Brian fucking Pillman!”  He tosses another insult of Eric Bischoff wrapped inside of an insult of the smart-marks in the crowd.  That didn’t get the reaction from the fans that he was fishing for, and so he goes on an extended rant against, well, against people like you and me, Potsie!  He says that he is going to do the only thing that would be appropriate for Brian Pillman to do in a hellhole like the ECW Arena…he is going to whip out his Johnson, and piss in the middle of the ring!

Tod Gordon, Paul Heyman, referee Jim Molineaux and Shane Douglas rush the ring, and Gordon grabs the mic and says, “This wasn’t part of the deal.”  Pillman says that he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants, and doesn’t give a fuck about them or their deal.  At that point, Gordon calls for Security to get him out of the arena.  Two big guys dressed in leather enter the ring, and Pillman stands with his hands behind his back, offering to allow them to put handcuffs on him.  They don’t go that far, and simply take him out of the ring and start to escort him over the railing and out of the arena through the crowd.  While they are lifting him over the guardrail, however, he becomes dead-weight (a trick he learned at Miami U. no doubt), and then is able to escape their clutches.

Pillman walks around ringside near Hat Guy, Hawaiian Shirt Guy and the rest, and spits in their faces.  Just then a guy with a mullet (or if you prefer, “champion”) haircut that is just too ridiculous to be real gets in Pillman’s face and actually takes a swing at him.  Pillman drags him over the railing and into the ring, where he pulls a fork from his boot and starts to attack the “fan”.  Shane Douglas rushes the ring and chases Pillman off, allowing medics to cart the mulleted-one to the back.  Douglas says that he is going sit down and the ring, and will not allow the show to proceed until “they throw that piece of shit from WCW out the front door!”

A group of about six Security Guards emerge from the back with Pillman, and this time he is putting up a struggle!  They drag him over the railing, and out the door at the back of the arena…and thus began the wildly entertaining (if all-too brief) feud between Shane Douglas and Flyin’ Brian Pillman.

Angle:

Steve Corino stops Limp Bizkit concert.

During the 12/3/99 show on TNN, Steve Corino had several walking promos in which he stated that not only did he have a long-established problem with hardcore wrasslin’, but he also hates hardcore music…and Limp Bizkit (who is putting on a show in the building next to the ECW show) embodies everything that Corino hates about that kind of music.  He marches out of the arena that ECW was at, and declared to put a stop to Limp Bizkit!

Throughout the show we were teased with clips of Corino in the audience, and Joey and Joel kept promising that we would see what happened, in it’s entirety!  Because, of course, that was to be our Main Event Promo!  Fast forward to the end of the show, and the footage begins with Fred Durst offering the mic to a female fan, who yells at Corino, “Get off the {fuckin’} stage!  This is a Limp Bizkit stage, {mother fucker}!”  The crowd seems to agree.  Undeterred, Corino gets on one of the other mics and asks if she talks to her mother with that mouth.  Her response comes in the form of a Full Moon, which TNN was kind enough to blur, so as not to offend!

Corino commences to cut an old-school wrasslin’ promo on the Limp Bizkit audience, complete with referring to them condescendingly as drunk and stoned…which of course got a big cheer!  He gets in Durst’s face and says that his band represents everything that is wrong with America.  There’s a long bleep during Durst’s reply, but he finally asks Corino, “Where’s Balls, and Axl, and {mother fucking} New Jack?”  You know where this is going, right?

Corino says that Balls Mahoney, Axl Rotten, and New Jack are over wrasslin’ at the other building (just then the camera pans-out and we see Axl and Balls standing behind him), and if they were there, Corino would kick their asses just like he’s going to kick Durst’s ass.  Axl taps him on the shoulder, and greets him with a Left Hand to the mush when he turns around.  Durst holds Corino while Balls bashes-in his skull with a chair once or twice, and as New Jack holds Corino’s bloody face up for the Limp Bizkit crowd to see, they start to chant, “ECW! ECW! ECW!”

Moment:

Flaming Tables visual opens first show on TNN.

Nobody really knew what to expect when ECW hit the air on The Nashville Network, and the very first thing that viewers saw, even before the opening credits, was the Dudley Boys put Balls Mahoney through a flaming table in the middle of the ring as Joey Styles voiced-over, “THIS is not the WWF…THIS is not WCW…THIS is ECW on TNN!”
 

Match:

Chris Jericho (champ) v. Too Cold Scorpio v. Pitbull #2 v. Shane Douglas: TV Title Match.

This match is from 7/13/96, and was released on the Path Of Destruction video from Pioneer Video, and is probably still commercially available…who knows?  Anyway, Francine accompanies Pitbull #2 to the ring, and the footage begins with Shane Douglas laying the Pitbull out during the introductions.  This is a Four-Corners Match, and begins with Jericho and Scorpio in the ring.  They are off to a fast-n-furious start…and Joey Styles even refers to it with those words!  Scorpio takes control early with a kick to the chest, and hits an unbelievable Somersault Legdrop for the first two-count of the match.  Jericho sneaks-in a reversal into a Tigerbomb for a two-count of his own, followed by tying Scorpio up in a crazy submission move, but Scorpio is able to lean backwards and grab the ropes.  Both men up and they are exchanging chops, until Scorpio hits a Spin Kick, and then makes the first tag of the match, bringing-in Shane Douglas.  Pitbull has made his way onto the apron by this point, I should point out because as soon as Douglas hits the ring he runs over and knocks the big man down with a right hand!  Douglas turns his attention to Jericho, but the reigning champ is able to reverse a Suplex for two.  Jericho is in firm control of the Franchise, and goes for the 10-punch count-along by pounding Douglas’ head into the turnbuckles three times each, and then once against the mat…I just love that spot!

Jericho feigns like he is going to tag Scorpio in, and then does the same in the corner of the Pitbull, before going back to work on Douglas, laying in some chops in the corner.  Douglas chops his way out of the corner, and the crowd is Woo-ing its ass off!!  Jericho gets a big Kneelift that puts Douglas down to the mat, and he tags-in Pitbull #2, who is already bleeding fairly heavily on the right side of his face!  Pitbull enters the ring to a loud ovation, and Douglas…quickly rolls across the ring and tags Too Cold Scorpio into the match!  I’ve mentioned already that I’m a huge fan of Shane Douglas’ work from around the ’96-’98, so I would keep it to myself, except for this guy was just the best heel going…not to mention that he was a fantastic Ring General.  Back to the match, where we see Douglas standing on the apron and flipping the middle finger at the Pitbull.  Scorpio enters the ring and attempts to sneak-up behind him, but Pitbull sees him, and the match will continue.

Pitbull goes for a Press Slam, but Scorpio reverses it into a roll-up, and gets just a one-count.  Pitbull goes for the Press Slam again, and this time it connects.  Francine is rallying the fans behind Pitbull #2, and he lands another power move before Scorpio comes back with several quick punches.  Scorpio positions the big man next to the ropes, holds onto his singlet, and then falls backwards over the ropes, catching Pitbull’s arms with his legs, and then flipping the Pitbull over the ropes and slamming him to the floor!  That was a crazy move, and if it had a name, by god I’d use it!  Scorpio then goes out to the apron and simply kicks Pitbull in the mouth!  Scorpio follows that up by slamming his head into a chair before taking Pitbull back into the ring.  He hits a pair of High Knees before Douglas gets the tag…now that the Pitbull is already beat-down, of course!  Belly-to-Back Suplex gets two, and when Pitbull makes his way up onto his knees, Douglas tags-out to Jericho.  To that, Joey Styles says, “It’s a good thing that the Franchise wears yellow tights, it matches the streak down his back!”

Jericho continues the offensive barrage against the Pitbull, and Francine has a concerned look on her face because she wants her man to leave tonight as World Television Champion.  Pitbull starts to power back against the youngest TV Champ in ECW history (Jericho was 25).  Pitbull starts to lock-in for a suplex, but Jericho jumps up and hits a big kick to the head out of nowhere!  Whip into the ropes, but when Jericho goes for a Huricanrana, Pitbull drops him in a Powerbomb!

Scorpio tags-in against Jericho, and immediately goes for a high-risk move, but Jericho crotches him on the turnbuckles.  Jericho climbs up, and with both men standing on the top turnbuckle, Jericho leaps up and brings Scorpio back in with a Super ‘Rana!  Jericho landed on his knee though, so Douglas comes in with a blind tag and covers Scorpio.  1, 2, and Scorpio kicks out at two and a-half.  There’s no love-loss between Scorpio and the Franchise, and Scorpio unloads with rapid-fire rights to the jaw, sending Douglas through the ropes and out to the floor.  Scorpio follows him out, and continues to lay-in the rights and lefts.  Scorpio once again uses a chair outside the ring, and then tosses both the chair and the Franchise into the ring.  Douglas gets Bulldogged onto the chair, but that only gets a two-count.  Scorpio tags-in Pitbull #2, and Douglas immediately slides right through the ropes onto the floor and starts walking around the corner of the ring.  Pitbull gives chase outside, and at the corner where Jericho is standing, Douglas slides back into the ring and tags Jericho in!  Pitbull comes into the ring and goes after Douglas in the corner, and Jericho rolls him up from behind for two.

Jericho doesn’t remain in control for long, as the Pitbull hits him with some impactful moves, followed by a whip into the corner.  Jericho goes for a reversal out of the corner, but Pitbull steps out of the way and Jericho lands flat on his face!  Pitbull with a Powerbomb before tagging Scorpio back into the match.  Jericho slides outside, but Scorpio is there and whips him into the guardrail.  Both men back into the ring, where Jericho finally gets an offensive move in, but while Scorpio is down he tries to get a tag from Shane Douglas, but Douglas steps down the steps away from the ring!  Pitbull accepts the tag, and he takes Scorpio over to the corner and tosses him ¾ the way across the ring with a Fall Away Slam from the second turnbuckle.  1, 2, and Douglas breaks the count by reaching through the ropes and tagging the limp arm of Scorpio!

Pitbull whipped into the ropes, and Douglas goes for an Armdrag but it’s reversed, but that gets reversed, Douglas tries again but gets reversed, and of course that gets reversed before Pitbull reverses that and tosses Douglas over the ropes.  Douglas landed on his feet on the floor, however, and he drags Pitbull under the bottom rope and to the floor.  He lays in the right hands until Jericho comes off the ropes with an Inside-Outside Springboard Plancha, followed by Scorpio leaping from the top with a High Crossbody.  The camera follows Jericho and Scorpio as they brawl through the crowd, and when they make their way back to the ring, we see that the Franchise has set a chair up in the middle of the ring…and introduces Pitbull to the chair via the move appropriately named the Bulldog!  Douglas goes for a tag to Scorpio, but he is down and hurt on the apron, so no help there.  Over to the opposite corner, but Jericho walks backwards down the steps, and when Douglas turns around, Pitbull #2 is on his feet!

Douglas whipped into the corner, and then Pitbull lifts him up in a Press Slam, but drops him down onto his feet when Jericho leaps from the top turnbuckle and catches the Franchise with a kick to the head!  Pitbull with the cover…1, 2, and Jericho pulls the big man off so that he can make the cover…1, 2, and no.  Spinning Toehold applied by Jericho, followed by a Figure Four in the middle of the ring!  Douglas is in jeopardy of being the first man eliminated from this Fatal Four-Way.  The Franchise won’t give it up, however, and eventually Jericho releases the hold and before he can get the Figure Four locked-in again, Douglas connects with a kick and makes the tag to Scorpio.

Jericho connects with the first move, a Suplex on Scorpio, but when he attempts to follow-up with a Lion Sault, Scorpio jumps up and kicks Jericho in the head during Jericho’s moonsault, and Jericho falls to the mat in a heap.  I hope I was able to do it justice, so that you understand how absolutely wicked that bump was.  Scorpio teases a tag to the Franchise, but when Jericho dropkicks Scorpio in the back, it causes Scorpio to fall forward into the corner and slap Douglas in the chest while falling.  The ref is counting that as a tag, but Douglas refuses to enter the ring.  Then Jericho comes over to the corner, and he tags the Franchise in, but still Douglas refuses to come into the ring.

Douglas finally comes in, punches Jericho once causing him to stagger into a Superkick from Scorpio, and then Douglas climbs back onto the apron and grabs Jericho’s arm and legally tags Jericho back into the match!  Scorpio grabs Jericho and plants him with a Tombstone Piledriver, followed by the Tumbleweed (a Tumbling Legdrop from the top turnbuckle).  1, 2, and 3.  Jericho, the defending champion, has been eliminated from the match first.  Scorpio stands and tells the fans, “Two more.”

Douglas comes into the ring and offers a handshake to Scorpio, offering to form an alliance with him to take-out the Pitbull.  Scorpio takes his hand, and kicks him in the gut!  Right, right, right, right…Dropkick to the Pitbull sends him down to the floor, and Scorpio takes Douglas down, but only gets a one-count.  Off the ropes, and Douglas hits the Belly-to-Belly Suplex, but he crawls the wrong way and can’t make the cover.  Pitbull rolls onto the apron in the corner, and Scorpio picks him up and Scoop Slams him in the ring near the corner.  He then picks-up the Franchise and slams him onto the Pitbull.  Scorpio then climbs to the top turnbuckle, but his Moonsault misses, as both of his opponents had rolled out of the way!  Douglas up first with a DDT on Scorpio, and then he convinces Pitbull #2 to Superbomb Scorpio from the top.  Pitbull agrees and climbs the turnbuckles, where Douglas lifts Scorpio and then Pitbull tosses him about 2/3 the way across the ring with the Superbomb.  Pitbull on top for the 1, 2, and 3.  Scorpio is eliminated, and after the pinfall, Douglas attacks the Pitbull immediately.

Pitbull sent outside, and somehow it appears that he has stopped bleeding at this point!  Douglas sent into the ringpost, and Pitbull slides a pair of chairs into the ring.  He sets them up, and then Powerbombs Douglas onto them, totally flattening one of the chairs!  Pitbull goes outside and brings a table into the ring, setting it up against the turnbuckles in the corner.  Douglas reverses the whip into the table, sending Pitbull into the opposite corner, and then bringing him back out with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex.  Douglas goes for the pin, but Francine is up on the apron, and she is distracting referee John Finnegan.  Douglas dumps Francine into the ring, and then plants a deep kiss on her.  Pitbull #2 grabs Douglas, and Francine falls to the side, but when the Pitbull charges, Douglas dodges out of the way and Pitbull crushes John Finnegan in the corner.  Pitbull whips Douglas into the ropes, and catches him in a Press Slam, he turns, and Francine throws powder in Pitbull’s eyes!  Douglas with a kick to the groin, Francine slaps him in the face, and the Pitbull is down.  Francine, the stage (or ring, as it were) is all yours…

She turns with her backside to the camera; where she slips her skirt down to reveal a black bikini with the word Franchise stitched across the ass in yellow.  Pitbull #1 has made his way to ringside, and he comes in after Douglas is dispatched outside the ring.  Pitbull #2 sets a table up in the corner, and then climbs to the top, where Pitbull #1 passes Francine to him, and then she is brought back into the ring via the Superbomb through the table!  Douglas back in, and he takes Pitbull #1 out with a Shoulderbreaker (Pitbull #1 was sidelined with an arm injury, and his arm was heavily bandaged), and then hits Pitbull #2 in the head with the TV Title belt!  At least two more refs have made their way to the ring, and one of them makes the count…1, 2, no!  Pitbull kicks out!  Douglas picks-up a piece of the shattered table, then pulls a pair of brass knuckles out, but each time he can only get a two-count.  Douglas unties his boot and pulls a length of chain out that he wraps around his fist, but again Pitbull kicks out, and this time he is fired up!  Douglas whipped into the corner, but when Pitbull follows him in with a Spinning Kick, Douglas dodges out of the way, and Pitbull goes over the top turnbuckle and crashes all the way to the floor.  Douglas quickly brings him back into the ring and hits the Belly-to-Belly Suplex in the middle of the ring.  1, 2, and 3.  Shane Douglas is the winner and new ECW World Television Champion.

#2

Joel Gertner Poem:

Joel was at his nasty best whenever he was playing his poems off of somebody else, especially if that somebody was a female fan at ringside:

Joel…            
“Another pay per view here in New York City,
And with her face on my nuts, even that girl would look pretty.
But wait…wait…wait…wait…
I really shouldn’t have said that, that was kind of shitty.
I apologize; I’m just trying to be witty,
And I hope you’re not offended, ‘cause that would truly be a pity,
‘Cause I was gonna fondle those titties,
And lick that little clitty.” 
 …Gertner

She was a good sport about it.  Hell, she probably was offered backstage passes in order to be humiliated on ppv like that!
 

Promo:

Cactus Jack farewell promo.

Mick Foley’s last match for ECW (and the last match he would wrassle as Cactus Jack for more than two years) was at the Big Ass Extreme Bash, a two night event held 3/8/96 in New York, and 3/9/96 in South Philly.  Cactus Jack’s farewell match was against his former Tag Team Champion partner Mikey Whipwreck, and it occurred on the second night, at the ECW Arena.  Cactus won the match, and that is where we pick things up:

Cactus goes after Mikey, who retreats and tries to get away.  Cactus catches him and embraces him, shaking Whipwreck’s hand and raising his arm for the crowd.  The sounds of New York, New York playing in the background, and the fans sing along, “Start spreading the news…I’m leaving today…”  Cactus get the mic, and begins his last promo in the ECW Arena by saying, “Man, this is one screwed-up place.”  Someone in the crowd has a sign that says, “Keep Uncle Vince Away From Dewey And Noel!”

He makes some veiled comments insulting Eric Bischoff and WCW before thanking the ECW Arena fans and giving some heartfelt props to the boys in the back.  He says that if ECW can exist without Terry Funk, then it sure as hell can go on without Cactus Jack.  When that comment gets a mixed reaction from the fans, he says, “It’s true.  There’s a hell of a lot of talent back there that is just dying to be seen, and this arena is the highlight for that.”

During the match, Mick was wearing a T-shirt made special for the occasion, depicting Cactus Jack crucified by barbed wire on a giant cactus on the front, and “Cactus Jack R.I.P.” on the back (probably dates, too, I didn’t pay that close attention!).  At this point in the promo he removes that shirt, and is wearing the traditional black Cactus Jack shirt underneath.  He then tosses the one-of-a kind shirt to a fan at ringside.  “Let’s hear it for John!”  Mick jumps down out of the ring and embraces John, a young mentally-disabled man at ringside.  As the hug continues to an almost uncomfortable length, Mick says into the mic, “He doesn’t want to let go because he doesn’t want you to see him crying.”

Mick then jumps back into the ring, and says that there are two guys in the back that deserve special mention, because they really are the lifeblood of ECW…one of them is a creative genius, and the other is a visionary, who saw what he wanted to accomplish and went about conforming ECW.  The guys who “make this whole thing work.”  Joey chimes in on commentary, “Now this is classy, real classy.”

“Bring them out,” Mick says, “The Heartbreak Kid Stevie Richards, and the Blue Meanie!”  Joey says, “That’s it, I’m outta here!”

New York, New York starts to play again, and after a brief dance number, Mick asks Paul Heyman and Tod Gordon to come to the ring.  He gets no response, and says that if they are feeling shy, he just wants to say that, “From right here (pointing to his heart), and all bullshit aside (pointing to Stevie and Meanie), everyone appreciates what they have done for ECW.”  If he can have one final wish, he tells us that it would be that he strut out of the ECW Arena…hit the music!
 

Angle:

Dudleys win Tag Titles on their way to the WWF.

This was the very first angle that ECW presented on their TNN show.  Joey and Joel openly acknowledged the Dudleys were headed to the WWF.  When they came to the ring and challenged the current champs, Balls Mahoney and Spike Dudley to one last title shot.  During the whole match Joey discusses the ramifications that would result from the Dudleys taking the ECW Tag Titles to the WWF and laying them at the feet of Vince McMahon.  The Dudleys won, of course, leading them to give one of the best promos of all time… “In WCW, boys become men…In ECW, men become heroes…but in the WWF, heroes become legends…and legends become Gods…and if God was a heel, he’d be the Dudley Boys!”  Sign Guy Dudley accompanies them with a sign that reads, “Bye” as Buh Buh Ray issues an open challenge to the one man that embodies everything that ECW stands for, Tommy Dreamer.

If you ever watched even one ECW show, then you know that Tommy Dreamer does not know how to turn down a challenge.  Paul Heyman tries to stop him because Dreamer has two herniated discs in his back.  The Dudleys eventually coax Dreamer into the ring, where he briefly holds his own against the eight-time champs.  Dreamer brings a ladder into the ring, but eventually the Dudleys turn the tide, and things look dire not only for Dreamer, but for ECW itself.  The Dudleys set Dreamer up for 3D, whip into the ropes…and Dreamer counters the Dudley Death Drop with a DDT on D-Von!  Just at that moment, Raven slides into the ring and plants Buh Buh Ray with a DDT.  1, 2, and 3!  The winners and NEW Tag Team Champions of the World are Tommy Dreamer and Raven!!  Tommy Dreamer’s first-ever world championship in ECW, and he has to share it with the one man that he hates more than anyone else in the world (see Raven’s promo in the Honorable Mentions)!
 

Moment:

Big Stevie Cool superkicks Santa.

The Blue World Order visited New York City to record footage for the big year-end special.  Two of my favorite BWO moments are here.  First, the camera shows the big X-Mas tree in Rockefeller Center, and then in one continuous zoom, brings the picture down to Stevie and Meanie standing on the sidewalk.  That was really just a cool visual effect, so it doesn’t get a vote on this list.  The footage from NYC continues, and we see Stevie and Meanie pass by Santa on the sidewalk.  When Santa recognizes their T-shirts, he pulls down his beard and starts to chant, “BWO! BWO!”  Big Stevie Cool tells him to shut up, and delivers the Steviekick in front of a shocked group of people on the sidewalk!
 

Match:

Tajiri v. Super Crazy: Mexican Death Match.

This is it, folks.  I firmly believe that this match, taken alone in a vacuum, is the best wrasslin’ match that I’ve ever seen.  The only reason that I make any kind of allowance for any other match to be better is because there was no title on the line in this one.  The ring-work is spectacular, the story of the match is believable and intense, and the commentary is top shelf.  I put a lot of weight on commentary in important matches, and I think that this match has the best example of wrasslin’ commentary and it’s ability to influence the viewer’s enjoyment of the drama of a match.  If I had but one match to show to a non-wrasslin’ fan, it just might be this one that I would choose.  Having said that, I present to you…the Mexican Death Match.

This is from the ECW Arena, and before things get started, Joel considers that maybe by Mexican Death Match rules, the loser has to drink the water!  The bell rings, we’ve got a standoff in the ring, and we’ve got to…

[ads]

We come back from the break just in time to see Tajiri connect with a Dropkick to Super Crazy’s head as Crazy was hanging from the Tree o’ Woe.  Tajiri brings multiple chairs into the ring as Joey tells us that during the year-plus long feud between Crazy and Tajiri, it has been an athletically-contested feud for the most part.  Some bad blood exists, to be sure, but a Mexican Death Match is going to bring-out a whole new level of extreme violence that we have yet to see from either of them.  As if to put an exclamation point on Joey’s statement, Tajiri hangs Crazy from the turnbuckles again and places not two, but three chairs on the mat in front of Crazy’s face.  Running from across the ring, Tajiri sends the three chairs crashing into Crazy’s head with a Baseball Slide Dropkick.

Super Crazy is busted open at this point, and Joel stops and asks us to consider what that means…Crazy was hit so hard in the skull, that his flesh was torn apart.  In the ring, Tajiri has set a table up, and when Crazy crawls back in, Tajiri starts to bite the wound.  Tajiri then leans Crazy’s prone body against the end of the table, and takes a chair and slides it down the length of the table!  Crazy ducked the flying chair, which went crashing into the turnbuckles.  When Tajiri sends another chair at Crazy, this one flies through the ropes and into the first row!  Having no more chairs to throw at his opponent, Tajiri goes back to kicking him in the head!  Tajiri coaxes the cameraman to get a close-up of Super Crazy’s bloody face, and then spits in his face!

Crazy is then laid-out on the table, and Tajiri comes off the top turnbuckle with the Flying Double Stomp…but the table didn’t break!  That’s his finisher, but it didn’t break the table, so he climbs to the top again, as Super Crazy writhes in pain on the table.  Tajiri again comes off with the Double Stomp, and this time he is successful in putting Crazy through the table.  Tajiri isn’t going for the pin, however.  Instead he tosses the table out of the ring and continues to kick Crazy in the face.  Referee Mike Keeter has no authority to stop the match (according to Joey), because a Mexican Death Match can only end by pinfall or submission.

Tajiri’s chest is smeared with Super Crazy’s blood as he drops down onto the mat and begins to mock his opponent.  Whip into the ropes, but Crazy reverses it into a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker, and follows that up with a top-rope Moonsault.  Crazy is up quickly, and he tosses Tajiri outside the ring just as Joey suggest that Crazy end the match quickly so that he can get medical attention.  Super Crazy has other ideas, however, and he brawls with Tajiri into and through the crowd to the back of the arena.  There are a few tables strewn randomly behind the bleachers, and Crazy lays Tajiri out on one.  He then climbs the back of the bleachers, and from the top row of the bleachers, comes off with a Moonsault onto Tajiri, sending him through the table to the concrete floor!  Joel Gertner chimes-in to tell us that while Luchadores are known for their high-flying tactics, only one is crazy enough to try a Moonsault from the bleachers, this far into a Mexican Death Match, with his eyes blinded by his own blood, through a table and to the concrete floor.  True dat.

They brawl through the crowd again, heading back towards the ring, and once they both are back in, Crazy is fired up!  Some stiff kicks before taking Tajiri into the corner for the 10-punch count-along…en Espanola!  Tajiri stumbles across the ring as Crazy soaks-in the cheers from the crowd.  The cheers quickly turn into a chant of, “Uno mas!  Uno mas!”  Crazy obliges and quickly grabs Tajiri for another 10-punch series in the other corner!  Whip into the ropes, and Tajiri comes off with the Springboard Elbow, but Crazy is up quickly with a Clothesline.

The crowd starts to really get behind the Insane Luchadore, who perches Tajiri on the top rope and then leaps from the corner with a Spinning Heel Kick to the back of the head that nearly decapitates Tajiri.  1, 2, and Tajiri kicks out.  Both men back up, and Crazy starts to lay in some chops and punches near the ropes, but he gets caught in the Tarantula!  Tajiri releases the hold before the five-count from Mike Keeter, and follows up with a German Suplex, bridging on his own now-bloodied head.  That only gets a two-count, and Joel suggests that a German Suplex is not going to be enough to score the pinfall in a match like this.  In fact, he doesn’t know quite what it will take to put someone away after some of what we have seen.  A Dropkick sends Super Crazy outside, and after tossing him over the guardrail; Tajiri leaps from the apron with a middle-rope Asai Moonsault over the concrete floor and into the first row of seats!  Joel ponders, “Do you think Super Crazy’s head hit the concrete floor?  Or do you think that he was lucky enough…lucky enough…to have his head hit the back of a steel chair?”

Tajiri slides a table into the ring, and sets it up in the corner, propped up on the second rope and straddling the corner.  Crazy comes back into the ring via the top rope with a Dropkick just as Tajiri turns around, sending Tajiri back out of the ring.  Super Crazy sets a table up in the corner opposite of the other table, and turns to see Tajiri climbing back into the ring with the steel ring wrench in his hand.  A stiff kick puts Crazy down, and Tajiri shoves the wrench into Crazy’s mouth, attempting to impale his cheek with the wrench!  He releases that after only a few seconds, and tosses the wrench out to the floor, and Super Crazy catches him with a kick and sets-up for a Powerbomb through one of the tables.  Tajiri wriggles free, and sitting on the table, sprays mist into Crazy’s eyes.  Super Crazy stumbles backwards, and then Tajiri leaps from the table for a Huricanrana…Crazy reverses that, and blindly runs across the ring and Powerbombs Tajiri through the other table…1, 2, 3!  Super Crazy wins the Mexican Death Match.

Closing:

Are you on the edge of your seat yet in anticipation of tomorrow’s column, which will feature my #1 favorite moments?  Well, good.  No sneak-peak today.

PEACE

E-MAIL SCOTTY
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.