Featuring Many Current and Past OO Columnists
Ratings Compiled by Jeb Lund

OOficial Brand of the Week:
RAW
RAW: 3.32 --/-- SD!: 3.08

RATING SYSTEM:
Rather than go with a tried-and-true 1-10 scale, we thought we'd mix things up a bit. Each show is evaluated on a scale of 0.0-5.0. Instead of just random numbers, those numbers reflect what sort of Nielsen rating we think the show deserves. Granted, we're operating on the assumption that 5.0 is about the best the WWE can hope for right now. But if someone goes for a 5.0, then that means it's time to celebrate at Titan. If someone picks 2.2, it's time to celebrate if you're putting on a Nitro in April 2000.


RAW (8/11/03) vs. SMACKDOWN! (8/14/03)
OOFICIAL RATINGS

Fonzo
Last week it was the Giants pre-season game, this week it was the biggest blackout in U.S. history. Somebody upstairs does not want
me to watch Smackdown!

RAW: 3.0
Short and to the point: I mostly liked the show... thought it built well towards SummerSlam. Orton stole the show as ref for the main event. Nash-Jericho segment went much too long. The S.H.I.T angle is appropriately named. Much like the meat in my powerless fridge right now, the Dudleys' act has gone bad.

Fonzo's year-to-date averages: RAW (3.4), SD! (3.4).


Matt Hocking
RAW: 3.6
JR:  It's great to be back rating RAW, folks!
JL:  Yeah! That Coachman was a lame rater.
JR:  This week we have a very special guest! It's Eric Bischoff. Who I'm going to sue.
EB:  Hey, you guys, come on. Be nice, or else HHH will beat you up.
HHH:  Hehehe... yeah. Or maybe I'll burn you J.R.
JR:  Damn you, Bischoff.
JL:  The only problem I had with RAW was there were so few puppies. Oh, and it revolved around you two.
EB:  We're interesting characters!
AB:  What?
JR:  Austinberg! Haha! I'm in charge now. Damn you to hell!
HHH:  It's getting crowded in here. Just shut up and start rating.
JR:  I hate Eric Bischoff. 1.0.
JL:  That's a bit harsh isn't it J.R.? Minus points for the lack of puppies (except Trish) and for the J.R. overkill....
JR:  Hey!
JL:  That leaves me with a 3.9.
EB:  Ah, screw all y'all. I'll just say 5 so that I can look better.
HHH:  Now I'm going to go Pedigree Randy Orton.

Smackdown!: 2.9
MC:  Smackdown is GREAT once again, Tazz!
TZ:  I dunno, Cole. Stephanie and A-Train in the main event? That kinda sucked. Brock and the Tag Title match were good. Here's our special guest though.
TW:  I'm so cute!
MC:  Torrie! Oh my! Look at Torrie!
TZ:  I'm lookin', I'm lookin'!
TW:  My storyline sucks. My husband, Billy Kidman, says that he's going to get me a better one.
TZ:  I doubt it, he doesn't exactly have a whole lot of stroke around here.
UD:  I do. It's because I'm Dragtastic!
TZ:  You're in drag?
UD:  Rate the show or else I punch you... Dragon... like.
TZ:  I don't know. 2.9. Needs better writing.
MC:  Better writing? Our show is the best! 5.0.
TW:  I don't know what's going on.
UD:  I give up... Dragon... ish....

Matt Hocking's year-to-date averages: RAW (4.1), SD! (3.8).


Jeb Tennyson Lund
RAW: 3.0
I was going to write a pithy summary of the show, but I realized that the notes I made while watching it speak pretty much for themselves. I've cleaned up the grammar and spelling, since I was typing like mad while watching, but these are pretty much my immediate reactions.

• JR to sue Bischoff for encouraging a dangerous work environment. There's so much talking on this show already, why do they need to add lawyers?
• Rico and Jackie v. Scott and Stacy: when waste meets time.
• Test comes in to attack Steiner. That's like trying to put out a pointless fire with a bottle of Old Pointless Bourbon.
• Steiner v. Test on the mic. That's like adding Old Pointless Unexploded Incendiary Bombs to a pointless fire that you tried to put out with Old Pointless Bourbon.
• How sad is it that I could immediately tell that La Resistance had brought a bottle of Louis Jadot to the ring? Knowing those idiots, it was probably beaujolais, too.
• Someone says: "THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER: WHERE CAREERS GO TO DIE." Somewhere, RVD is crying and nodding.
• Goldust macks on Molly. Lance does inadvertently. This is the first time tonight that she show has been more than merely tolerable.
• Shawn and Nash aren't too happy about Goldberg thinking that he might win. Nooooo! You don't say! What a segment!
• Christian comes out to Book's music. Cool match with Spike Dudley. I hate how he shows up some weeks and wrestles a great match, then gets forgotten for a month. Poor Spike.
• Kane has pec fat and looks like the evil Charles Durning.
• Kane won't beat Bischoff because he's sick of doing what other people want. He's gonna start doing what he wants. What's he going to do when what he wants coincides with what other people want? Will he start not doing what he wants in order to spite the desires of others? It's a vicious cycle!
• RVD runs in. His 5-Star lands on a chair. He gets beat with a chair. He actually sells the chair. Whoa. This is, like, Opposite Land.
• Trish's chest, and only her chest, is oiled. But she's appreciated most for her wrestling. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. The WWE is to respectful treatment of women what Josef Goebbels was to a free press.
• Gail Kim wants attention. Given her acting and spot-blowing ability, I think avoiding attention is probably in her best interest.
• As I'm typing this, Gail fucks up a plancha of sorts. Just when I was starting to feel bad, the Fates told me that I was on the right track.
• Molly Holly is fantastic.
• Rosie gets beaten by an old woman after helping her across the street. Don't fuck with Estelle Getty. She's got a big gun, and even her son, Sylvester Stallone, can't stop her.
• Why does it say "Back the Mack" on Rodney Mack's ass? I mean, does anyone in WWE know anybody with an 8th-grade sense of humor who can proofread this shit for them? Granted, this isn't as bad as the APA's "Always Pounding Ass" shirt, but it's still got lots of negative potential.
• Hurricane wins with the high crossbody, which is called "the transition move that is somehow a finisher." Neat-o.

I didn't care about the rest of the show. The whole thing was weak, weak, weak.

Smackdown!: 2.5
All the excellence of the tag-team match, Big Show v. Taker and the brevity of Tajiri v. Rhyno cannot overcome the great sinking anchor of suck that is the combination of Brock Lesnar as a heel and too many McMahon segments.

Jeb Tennyson Lund's year-to-date averages: RAW (3.0), SD! (3.1).


Big Danny T
RAW: 3.4
You saw the whole show coming from a mile away, but that was okay, because it entertained well enough. From Stone Cold's opening chicanery on Eric, to the Goldust segment, to Nash giving us a bit of his cocky asshole charisma that we all missed in the Highlight Reel, to Ric Flair v. Goldberg, Raw delivered an enjoyable bit of product, giving us some inoffensive filler for the road to SummerSlam. The things that detracted for me: Gail Kim finally speaking (acting lessons, girl!), the S.H.I.T. "earlier today" video dragged somewhat, and the Dudleys v. La Resistance. (Ugh, just ugh. I'm patriotic and all, but The Duds are kind of taking it to embarrassing levels.)

Smackdown!: 3.6
Much the same can be said for Smackdown! this week as I said about Raw, but Smackdown! just seemed to click a tad better and didn't have any real down segments. To see me go into real detail, check out my recap.

Big Danny T's year-to-date averages: RAW (3.7), SD! (3.7).

Rick Scaia
RAW: 3.7
Another strong week for RAW.  It didn't quite have the single blow-away match like RVD/Jericho from the week before, but was otherwise very entertaining throughout.  Every segment had a purpose, and in the end, just about every segment entertained.  Nothing to complain about here.

SmackDown!: 3.3
I thought SD! started and ended on sour notes, but in between delivered about 90 solid minutes on par with what they've conditioned us to expect.  I am just not that big a fan of of the Vince/Steph drama, and felt that opening the show, it just ate up too much time, and then, as a main event "match" between A-Train and Steph, it failed to put a memorable capper on the broadcast.  Those bookends are what cost SD! a few ticks (and the BotB win, at least in my book)... because the rest of the show was quite solid.  The tag title match was good, Lesnar's beatdown on Spanky was way more convincing than I'd have guessed.  Taker/Big Show was even pretty decent.  Still a good, above-average effort in total... just a few notches below what we'd been getting the past few weeks due to what I felt were weaker than usual segments in the opening and main event slots.

Rick's year-to-date averages: RAW (3.4), SD! (3.9).

FINAL OO RATINGS, WEEK ENDING 8/15/03

RAW average: 3.32 
Actual Nielsen Rating: 3.1 (converted to broadcast rating)
RAW OVERdelivers versus actual rating this week.

Smackdown! average: 3.08
Actual Nielsen Rating:  3.5 (data slightly skewed by black-outs)  
SD! UNDERdelivers versus actual rating this week.

YEAR TO DATE TALLIES

Average OO Rating for RAW:  3.23
Average Nielsen Rating for RAW: 3.25
RAW is UNDERdelivering, on average, versus actual ratings so far in 2003.

Average OO Rating for SD: 3.40
Average Nielsen Rating for SD:  3.34
SD! is OVERdelivering, on average, versus actual ratings so far in 2003.

Rounds Won by RAW: 3
Rounds Won by SD!: 8
Current Streak: 1 by RAW (Since 8/15/03)
Longest Streak: 7 by SD! (6/27/03 thru 8/08/03)

BROWSE PAST WEEK'S BATTLES OF THE BRANDS
 

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