WWE SATURDAY NIGHT BLOCK RECAPS
Velocity: Protesting the Pathetic 
March 24, 2003

by Murray Speer 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

So, in protest, no witty comments, no making fun of Josh and Cat, and no play-by-play.  Here's what went down, which you already know if you've read the spoilers.

Match #1:  Nunzio went over Tajiri in a fine *** match, which consisted of Nunzio working the left arm and finishing with the Arrivaderci.  Brian Hebner ejected the FBI from ringside at the start of the match, which put Nunzio over as a worker, since he won without any cheating whatsoever. Plenty of good counter-wrestling here, both mat-based and acrobatic.  Time of the fall was 7:30!  This is the sort of match Velocity needs to consistently put out in order to qualify as decent programming.

Sadly, we had Match #2:  Matt Hardy defeated Nova (is this the same Nova who was in ECW a few years ago?  Doesn't matter, it's a jobber match nonetheless).  Nova delivered a nice standing Enziguiri, as well as an impressive bulldog headlock into a facebuster.  The Side Effect from the second turnbuckle led to the Twist of Fate, for the finish at 5:35. *.5

Last, and least, Match #3:  After a few weeks of getting over on Velocity, Funaki is once again a jobber to the stars.  Tragically, the "star" he jobbed to is A-Knob.  Match starts with a chase around the ring, and then Funaki fights for his life for about twelve seconds.  Springboard crossbody gets caught.  Flipped into Train Wreck position on left shoulder, and the Train Wreck ends it at 0:34.  Pure garbage.

Thumbs Down!!!

Perhaps I'll be in a better mood next week, and can add at least some entertainment value to the recap.  Maybe Velocity will give me a reason to cheer up?  It is to be hoped.  Until then, remember:  We must move forward, not backward... upward, not forward... and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

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