WWE SATURDAY NIGHT BLOCK RECAPS
Reeking of Awesomeness
September 8, 2003

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Nunzio (200 1/4 pounds) vs thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) - your announcers are Tazz and Josh. Guess someone is stuck doing double duty for the time being. Lockup, Nunzio with a waistlock, Kidman switches, Nunzio backs him into the corner, break is not clean when Nunzio throws a right, Kidman ducks out of the corner and then stands around waiting for Nunzio. Nunzio kicks, Kidman catches the foot, drops it, ducks a clothesline, off the ropes, under a leapfrog, off the other ropes, and stopping short of another Nunzio leapfrog. Kick, corner whip, reversed, Kidman with the corner kip up headscissors. Corner punches - one two three four Nunzio pushes him off. Kidman charges back, and gets backdropped to the apron. Nunzio's right is blocked, Kidman's is not. Kidman going all the way up but Nunzio stops him with right hands. Both up - Nunzio grabs Kidman's left arm and jumps off, smashing it over the top rope on the way down. Kidman grabs the arm in pain and tumbles all the way to the floor. Nunzio pleads innocent as Kidman rolls around on pain - Nunzio out to retrieve him one two no. Kick to the arm, armbar, snap mare, legdrop. Standing elbowlock. Kidman rallying back. Nunzio tightening up on an armbar, Kidman with rights, off the ropes, Kidman slides under, kick to the midsection, whip, Nunzio's head down too soon so Kidman kicks it. Kidman off the ropes, clothesline caught and turned into an armbar takedown. Actually, Josh says "single arm DDT!", but he didn't seem to have a facelock to me. Tazz says "Divorce Court", which confuses Josh and makes me wonder if Cornette watches this show. Cover one two no. Nunzio working a hammerlock in a odd ways. And then non odd ways. Rest of the FBI in action later. Kidman rallies back again. Knees, right hands, whip, Kidman charges in with a splash but no one's home. Nunzio off the ropes, Kidman with a dropkick for him. Replay of the dropkick - it was nice. Kidman's holing in his left arm at this point, from the work Nunzio's done to it. Both men to their feet. Nunzio right, Kidman right, Nunzio right is ducked, Kidman right, Nunzio's left is ducked, Kidman right, right, right is ducked, Nunzio off the ropes, Kidman with a fivearm. Backdrop for Nunzio. Corner whip, rebound clothesline. One two NO. Whip, reversed, Nunzio jumps too soon for the BK Bomb but they get it straightened out on the second try - but Kidman's left arm hurts to much to finish the move, and Nunzio escapes. Nunzio dropkick to the face one two no. Nunzio slam is slipped out of by Kidman, waistlock rollup one two no. Kidman with a stomp, headlock, springboard bulldog is pushed off intot he corer. Nunzio kick, big DDT, one two NO. Nunzio picks up Kidman, Kidman breaks free, foot catch enziguri. Kidman pulls Nunzio in the corner, going to the top rope - but Nunzio up and crotching him. Nunzio with right hands, up to the second rope, up to the top rope, Kidman trying to fight out - BK Bomb off the second rope! One two three! (5:33) Hey, that wasn't so bad.

Tale of the Tape for the WWE Title Match

Up Next, Eddie says hello to John Cena

SmackDown Live!
9/7 - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
9/8 - Columbus, GA
9/9 - Birmingham, AL [SD!]
9/13 - Roanoke, VA
9/14 - Richmond, VA

Two Weeks Ago, John Cena "got himself DQed because he knew Eddie had him beat" - and laid him out (:28)
One Week Ago (or last Thursday, whatever), Cena rapped about it. Ah, Eddie’s mission to crack up Stephanie during a skit goes on. (3:44)

SmackDown: Live! This Week - Parking Lot Brawl: Eddie Guerrero vs John Cena.
Um, I guess it’s possible they could beam it out live from a Stamford parking lot on Thursday, they sure aren’t having an event on Thursday – Birmingham is on Tuesday, no matter what Josh just said. So whatever.

Still To Come: Undertaker vs Kurt Angle (c)

Lugz not new tag team champions

Sean O’Haire (274 pounds) vs Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 240 pounds) – wait, did he lose his coat? Tazz makes fun of the Cena Shopzone ad. Josh: “Orlando Jordan, he’s a ladies man, Tazz“ Tazz: “That’s just like you, you’re a borderline lady, so-” Josh: “That’s real nice. Orlando’s got to fight the girls away with a stick.” Tazz: “What? He has a stick he fights girls with?” Josh tries to explain his line, badly. Lockup, O’Haire with a waistlock, Orlando armdrags out, into a cover one two no. Orlando with an armbar, Sean reverses into a hammerlock, snap mare into inverted headlock. Josh and Tazz are arguing Tazz: “I’m still talking and you’re going to shut up now.” Tazz remembers that Josh lost Tough Enough. Orlando slowly gets the legscissors reversal. Sean trying to escape, and dos, back into the inverted headlock. Orlando’s shoulder down for one. Sean with a front facelock, Orlando out into a hammerlock. Tazz decides they shouldn’t be arguing – leave that to the announcers on the RAW team. Sean with back elbows to escape, the right hands. Corner whip, reversed into an Orlando armdrag, armdrag, dropkick one two no. Orlando grabs Sean, but Sean throws him hard into the corner, armspin takedown. Elbow drop, Fujiwara armbar (called by Tazz!) Knee to the shoulder. Josh, talking about Sean’s “weird mean”: “[Sean] will hold you down and make you eat spiders and stuff.” I think someone is going thru Cat withdrawl. Up into a normal armbar, twist, corner whip, Sean charges into an Orlando back elbow,. Chop, kick, off the ropes and right into a big clothesline from O’Haire. Armtwist takedown. Orlando is slow getting up and O’Haire stalking him – another armtwist. Sean with a kick to the head. Kneeling armbar. Orlando trying to draw from the fans but they don’t care at all. O’Haire with a forearm to the shoulder, forearm from under the shoulder, back heel trip one two no. Josh manages the judo name for that move, annoying Tazz. O’Haire with a half straight jacket chinlock choke. Tazz reminds Josh that Josh is just the kid from Tough Enough. Josh: “That was two and a half years ago!” Tazz: “It was two and a half years ago, but you haven’t done squat since.” Josh: “Well, I’m sitting next to you, so I must’ve done something right.” Tazz: “No, I did something wrong!” Back up to an armbar, Orlando trying to fight out with a forearm, but Sean uses a mid kick to stun him. Whip, Orlando grabs the ropes, so Sean charges into a boot. Orlando right blocked, Orlando jab sequence and Johnson Shuffle. Tazz: “The Johnson Shuffle? How do you shuffle your Johnson?“ and Josh explains to him. Orlando dropkick, dropkick, dropkick brushed by. Sean off the ropes, into a backdrop. Dropkick again one two no. O’Haire fighting back with a punch, knee, forearm, lift and shoulderbreaker. One two no. Sean sitting over Orlando and making a face. Shoulderbreaker again? No, O’Haire is going to meander backwards until Orlando can slip off on the apron. Look, Orlando slipped off. Sean’s punch misses, Orlando hits the Stunner over the top rope. Orlando to the top rope as Sean gets up – cross body, rolled though, O’Haire grabs the tights one two no. O’Haire with a knee, knee, corner whip, O’Haire slow, corner charge into an elbow. Orlando slow to a small package one two no. Crowd still doesn’t care. Sean with a right, Orlando catches it but gets kicked. Lift, Widowmaker. (5:03) This was a couple minutes too long AND an example of a body part injury focus match that didn’t work. Josh is calling it “Inverted DVD”, so maybe they’re changing the name yet again.

Up Next: Funaki and Ultimo Dragon vs Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore - HOLY CRAP

Matt Hardy (Version One) & Shannon Moore (437 pounds) vs Ultimo Dragon and SmackDown #1 Announcers Funaki (393 pounds) – Josh: “It’s Mattitude time, Version One Time on Velocity!” Tazz: “You sound like an idiot.” Josh: “At least I don’t look like an idiot [very quickly added] not saying that you do, but I don’t.” Tazz: “You know, I just seen your life flash before my eyes…”. Matt Facts: Matt & Shannon have “Moore Mattitude” than other teams, Matt enjoys ginger root after eating sushi. Holy crap, it really IS Ultimo Dragon (and Funaki)!

Dear God,

Thank you

Your Homie,
N.

Funaki does the crossed arm pose with Ultimo to set off the fire-works. Josh says this is an international dream match, and he’s right! Tazz: “Hey, you host Afterburn, right?” Josh: “I definitely do. Why do you ask, Tazz.” “Just curious.” That was random. Tazz: “What’s the matter, cat got your tounge? Oh, you got rid of him too.” Too? Tazz thinks this match could be good. Ultimo (purple/silver) starts against Shannon (red/black/silver). Circle, Lockup, Ultimo with a full nelson, spun forward into a snap mare but it’s blocked so Ultimo can put on a headlock, Shannon escaping into a wristlock, throwing Ultimo down by his mask. Shannon claps for himself in semi-mocking fashion. Shannon apologizes to Ultimo for being awesome. Ultimo takes the apology badly, kicking Shannon in the gut, headlock, Shannon elbows and then shoots Ultimo off. Ultimo ff the ropes, shoulderblock. Ultimo off the ropes, over, under, jumping roll over, quick up into an armdrag. Over into his corner, tag to Funaki (usual). Shannon squirms loose of the armbar, and tags in (eventually – and with the V1 sign) Matt (blueish-green/black). Tazz and Josh decide this match is “the Carolina Connection vs the Tokyo Express.” WMXX. Lockup, spinning along the ropes and Funaki gets Matt in the corner. Clean break – no, Matt shove. “I’m V1 AH!” Matt charges out into an armdrag. Funaki dropkick – Funaki V1! This greatly angers Matt, clothesline is ducked, Funaki with a right, right, right, whip, reversed, Funaki spinning headscissors. Matt is dazed and confused, Funaki whip, reversed, Shannon trips him up and pulls him out. Funaki punches Shannon’s lights out, but Matt nails Funaki with a baseball slide dropkick. Matt distracts Brian Hebner while Shannon gets to stomping. Funaki thrown back in, Matt covers, Brian dealing with Ultimo and slow to count, one tow no. Tag to Shannon. Double whip, double kick, Shannon off the ropes and hitting the swinging neckbreaker one two no. Choke on the middle rope and punches to the head, off the ropes and running hipcheck to the back. One two no. Tazz and Josh are discussing what “tomfoolerly” means – Josh doesn’t know. Tag to Matt, double corner whip backwards, Funaki going hard into to corner. Matt stands on Funaki’s head. Matt with a lift on to his shoulder – Snake Eyes, off the ropes, clothesline. One two kickout. Matt picks up Funaki, Funaki back with right, right, right, Matt runs Funaki into the corner and Shannon makes a blind tag. Shannon with right hands, back suplex. One two no. Shannon tantrum but only a short one. Kneeling surfboard. Funaki standing up and turning it, crowd into his comeback. Funaki with a kick, kick, Shannon stops him with a knee. Corner whip, Shannon charges in but Funaki gets out of the way – bulldog! Can he make the tag? Tag to Matt, tag to Ultimo! Ultimo in with a knee lift, chop, double chop, whip, dropkick. Wheel kick! Shannon tries a kick, Ultimo catches it and spin sweeps the other one out. Three Kick Combo for Shannon, Three Kick Combo for Matt! Cover one two Shannon breaks it up. Shannon has Ultimo – Corner whip, charge into Ultimo’s corner ax kick, Ultimo with the spinning heel kick to the midsection, flipping neckbreaker (Josh has dubbed it “Asai DDT”) but Matt’s the legal man and he’s up – kick, Twist of, reversed into a backslide by Ultimo, blocked so he into the snap mare hold setup. Matt pushes him off before Ultimo can hit him with the finisher, blind tag by Funaki, Ultimo with a wheel kick. Funaki on the top rope as Matt gets up – top rope cross body one two NO! Whip for Matt, reversed, Funaki collides into Shannon (knocking him to the floor), Side Effect one two Ultimo breaks it up! Ultimo with a turnbuckle smash, corner whip, reversed DRAGON TOPE TO SHANNON! That was straight out of Galavision. Matt is shocked – and surprised by a Funaki inside cradle one two NO! Funaki with a whip, reversed, kick wham Twist of Fate. One two three! (6:18) Now that was dictionary definition awesome. Though I think they could do better. Let’s do this all again next week!

Soul Caliber Undertaker/Kurt Angle face off

Who are you? Who Who, Who Who? Who Are You? Who Who, Who Who. And to think, we could’ve had an Undertaker/Brock Lesnar Iron Man match! Good to know that Big Show’s new role is “man who laughs in the background.”

Two Weeks: Iron Man Match for the WWE Title: Kurt Angle (c) vs Brock Lesnar

the FBI (530 pounds) vs Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds, w/o Nidia) and Billy Gunn (w/o Torrie) – no Nunzio till next week. Ah, they’re still suffering the injuries from Last Thursday. Shaniqua is bigger than Josh! Albert Ching wants me to remind you that that this is a huge meeting between two guys who were pretending to be gay and in love, but the announcers haven’t brought it up yet. I think Billy remembers – he’s waving off Johnny, and wants to start this match with Chuck. Chuck – agrees. Josh does not note the significance. Billy claps to get the crowd going. Josh calls this a huge main event. Tazz must be a Jets fan, because Josh keeps point out they lost. So they must have done this voice over on Friday? Lockup, into the ropes, Chuck forces Billy into the ropes, and clean break? Yes. Wow. Chuck tries to explain the situation to Johnny (who wasn’t around here when that was going on) and is offering a handshake to Billy. Billy checks the crowd, who seem to dislike the idea. Billy decides to do it anyway, and gets a slap in the face. Chuck with a kick, kick, right, right, knee, corner whip, Billy rebounds out, Chuck’s punch is blocked, Gunn, right, right, right, whip, Chuck gets the ropes, Billy charges and clotheslines him out. Billy with his own chin flick as Johnny and Chuck talk on the outside. Chuck is annoyed, but back in. Johnny really wants a tag, so he gets it. Lockup, Billy armbar, tag to Jamie. Jamie takes over, Johnny with a forearm. Johnny headlock, Jamie shoots him off, Johnny back with a big shoulderblock. Johnny with a kick, whip, Jamie slides under, single leg takedown, stomp down, stomping Johnny all the way out to the floor. FBI has to have another group meeting. Tazz, going into his random stream of consciousness, decides now is the time for “Jamie’s Got a Gun.” Tazz almost knows two lines. FBI will try Palumbo vs Noble to see if that works. Judging from the way Jamie is kicking the crap out of Palumbo, no. Whip, reversed, Johnny with a forearm from the outside, Chuck with a running knee to Noble, taking him out. Chuck stops to taunt Billy while Johnny does some work on the outside. Confidential graphic appears – Josh: “Up Next, Confidential, stay tuned.” Tazz: “Surprised you didn’t know that, there’s a thing on the bottom of the screen.” Johnny throws Jamie back in, and Chuck will cover one two NO. Chuck with a powerbomb – no, it’s the turnbuckle powerbomb (though Jamie pretty much land son his feet, so it doesn’t look as scary – but that’s okay.) Tag to Johnny, who throws Jamie in the corner, kick, kick, kick, tag to Chuck, Johnny goes around the corner so Chuck can tag him back in. Why do they do that ever week? I bet that’s what Shaniqua and the Basham Brothers are wondering too. Either that, or they’re waiting on the stage for the moment to go punk out the faces again. Whip, Johnny with a sliding leg trip, Chuck with the Mafia kick, Johnny covers one two no. Johnny bearhug. Tazz says that Billy and Jamie shouldn’t let the Bashams distract them – Billy is immediately distracted by them. Jamie with a facebite to escape, off the ropes, tilt-a-whirl bit Jamie lands on his feet, reverse jawbreaker. Jamie dives for a tag but Johnny cuts him off and throws him in the FBI corner. Johnny annoys Billy, so Chuck can crotch Jamie on the corner post. Johnny adds many stomps. Johnny picks Jamie out, Jamie with kicks, foot is caught, Johnny tags in Chuck, Jamie kicks him with the other leg. Johnny tries an elbow drop but Jamie m0oves out of the way. Jamie makes it – tag to Gunn, right for Chuck, right for Johnny, right for Chuck, right Johnny. Billy whip for Chuck – hiptoss into the suplex. Whip for Johnny, dropkick. Gunn is pumped up – corner splash for Palumbo! (Josh: “Gunner Splash” – ha) Kick for Palumbo, calling for it, off the ropes, into a double hiptoss into an FBI pump powerbomb. Is that the Bada Bing or is Josh just being random? Chuck covers one two Jamie break it up with a dropkick. Johnny charges Jamie, but he goes down and brings the top rope with him, Johnny going to the floor. Jungle Kick on Jamie! I guess it really is called the “Whacked” because Josh says he’s setting up for one on Gunn – ducked, kick, Fameasser! One two three (6:17) Well, that settles that. Billy collapses to his knees. Bashams and Shaniqua decide to stand and do nothing. Billy calls them on, but Shaniqua doesn’t seem to think this is the time.

That’s it.

E-MAIL THE CUBS FAN
VIEW THE WWE SNB ARCHIVES

All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.