WWE SATURDAY NIGHT BLOCK RECAPS
The Match So Nice it Main Events Thrice!
February 3, 2004

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Ultimo Dragon (Nagoya, Japan, 185 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) - Hmm, Bill sounds like Michael Cole this week. Cole: "Hey Josh, a fan had a sign for you!" "What did it say? "YOU SUCK" "..." Ah, it's evil Michael Cole. Your announcers are indeed Josh and Cole, and Cole rags on Josh again. "Isn't cool how my name Cole sounds so much like cool?" "And you're not cool, so it's an oxymoron." They'll keep doing this match every week till someone quits! I guess. Sign: "I'm a Moore'on" Sign: "I'm as Moore'on 2" Feigning charges. Circle. Lockup, Ultimo goes behind for a wristlock, into a full nelson, out into an armbar, elbow to the shoulder, elbow to the shoulder, headlock, snap mare, chinlock, Shannon reveres to a hammerlock, into a front facelock, snap mare is blocked so he goes over to a headlock. Moore shot off, and back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under - no, stop and drop Ultimo with an open hand slap. Shannon with a forearm, whip, Ultimo rolls under a clothesline and kick trips Shannon up. While Shannon's sitting there, he might as well take the soccer kick to the back, off the ropes, soccer kick to the chest. Ultimo add stomps and rudely throws Shannon out. Slingshot out to the apron, Asia no tripped up by Shannon, landing chin first on the apron. Shannon forearms him and throws him in. Reverse neckbreaker. Cole tells us that he just got a text message from his friend Pete, who was going to TiVo Velocity but is watching it live since Cole is on. That'll increase the viewers by a third! Josh: "You have a friend named Pete? Interesting." Shannon with what we'll call a reverse chinlock. Hey, there's Charles Robinson again - did you spot his shocking jump to SmackDown!? Why didn't anyone tell me he jumped? Why is there no article on WWE.com about this? He's 2 for 2 for Cruiserweight matches. Dragon elbowing out, off the ropes, wheel kick is ducked by Shannon. Knee to the head, knee to the back, knee to the back, knee to the back, elbow to the neck, elbow to the neck. Now letting Ultimo up for a suplex one two no. Chinlock/surfboard. "Me and Vince McMahon are good friends, Cole." "No one is good friends with you. Except the Cat. And he's wrestling now, you drove him out of the commentary booth." Ultimo battling up to his feet. Trading strikes now, Ultimo winning out with his array of chops and slaps. Whip, reversed, Shannon kick catch enziguri but ULTIMO DOES NOT GO DOWN! Sure, he's staggering like a drunk now, but you've got to be awesome not to immediately fall from one of those. Shannon off the ropes, into a Dragon 'rana and now both are down. Dragon seems a little bit more out. Shannon right, blocked, Dragon kick. Repeat. Third time, it's ducked for the Three Kick Combo one two NO. "Where is Bill this week?" "I don't know." Dragon waves Charles Robinson out of his way. QUEBRAAAAAAAH! Dragon did his Kidman impersonation and kneed Shannon in the head one two NO! Back suplex, no Shannon lands behind sleeper neckbreaker one two no. Shannon is checking his head for dents, but recovers in time to dropkick Ultimo into the corner. Cole says the upcoming Scotty/Sakoda match already has him on the edge of his seat. MOOREGASM one two NO! Josh gets the name right! (but only when Cole gives him a second chance.) Whip, reversed, Dragon heel kick to the midsection. Pose, going for it but Shannon sees it coming and gets in a sleeper. Ultimo looking for a way out, jawbreaker will do. Heel kick again, Asai DDT one two three. (6:16) Cole thinks Rey should be worried.

Tonight: All these guys versus the Big Show.

SmackDown! Live
02/01 - Pittsburgh, PA [SD!RTWMXX]
02/02 - Toledo, OH [SD!RTWMXX]
02/03 - Cleveland, OH [SD!]
02/07 - Regina, SK [SD!RTWMXX]
02/08 - Saskatoon, SK [SD!RTWMXX]

MX Unleashed Blind Trip Of Rumble

Jamie Noble's second chance (2:08)

Tonight: Bradshaw was in this match too.

JVC F5 for Goldberg

Akio (Japan, 200 pounds) vs SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki (208 pounds) - Cole: "Why does Akio wrestle in suit pants?" I want to know that! Cole ranting about Josh knowing what's going on backstage, "you spend enough time in the shower with them." Cole's point turns into Funaki > Josh, and I think we all can agree on that. "This is a great way to spend my Saturday night, you insulting me." Lockup, Akio forced into the corner, break but Akio shoves. Funaki wants to get more but Brian Hebner keeps them apart. Circle. Lockup, Funaki into a hammerlock, headlock, Akio used a foot to the back of the knee, into a waistlock, Funaki tries switch around, but Akio switches with him and shoves him off. Funaki's all "okay, okay, I'll kill you now." Cole: "Two weeks from now at the Cow Palace moooooooo" Lockup, no Funaki with the kick. Headlock, cranking it in. Shot off, no Funaki holds on. "mooooooo." "You're insane, you've really lost it, haven't you" "mooooooo." Funaki with a headlock takeover, legscissors reversal, Funaki gets free, both up, Funaki headlock takeover. Back up. Funaki holding the headlock in.

Cole: "Did you tell everyone how you drove Tazz from Washington D.C. to where he lives in New York?"
Josh: "Yes, I did do that."
Cole: "Through a driving snowstorm."
Josh: "Yea, terrible snow storm in the North East, I got you and Tazz home safely."
Cole: "Did he say thank you?" Josh "Yes, you did thank me Cole. Tazz and I are great friends." Cole: "Let's get one thing straight - you and Tazz are not great friends. You should hear what he says about when you're not around."

Shot off, Funaki back with a shoulderblock Off the ropes, over, quick turning around for another headlock takedown. Akio rolls him over, one two Funaki up. Akio elbowing out. Whip, reversed, hiptoss, hiptoss, dropkick one two no. Akio smashed in the corner, Funaki right, right, corner whip, reversed, Funaki WOW crossbody meets Akio spinning kick to the midsection. Kick wins. Stomps. Bow and Arrow! He's a regular Jerry Lynn, especially since Funaki flips out for a cover one two no .Funaki ducks a clothesline, backslide one two no. Akio up with punches. Stomps. Josh says Funaki beat Nunzio "a couple weeks ago". (It was November.) Akio with a front facelock. Crowd getting bored. Cole makes a weird analogy about Tajiri and not-Kyo Dai being "Robin Hood and his unmerry men." Josh: "Who's Robin Hood?" Akio up to his feet and working knees to the midsection. "That's right, they probably don't have an excerpt from Robin Hood in FHM." They sit together on planes every week? They're very much the married couple. Josh's approved reading list also includes inStyle and Stuff and I'm starting to take back everything good I ever said about Josh Mathews. Funaki breaks loose from a facelock with a sorta-front suplex. Foot catch enziguri (Akio goes down.) Cole: "I know a lot about your personal life, I've been text messaging your girlfriend all day. Didn't know I had her number?" Josh seethes. There are so many things wrong there. Funaki with punches, whip, backdrop. He's pumped. Bulldog one two NO. Josh says Benoit's time in the Rumble was (officially) 1:03:09. Akio with a corner whip, reversed, kip up but Funaki's stopped short, waistlock, Akio back elbows right and hits a wheel kick one two NO. Akio is frustrated. "This would be a big win for Funaki. Akio, world renown." He's so renown we don't even know why he's wrestling in suit pants. Funaki takes a corner whip, Akio charges into a back elbow. Funaki to the second rope, slap, RISING SUN (reverse) one two THREE! (5:38) Cole: "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!"

Tonight: Cena's limp wasn't his Pimp Walk. Well, not all of it.
Subway WMXX Recall: Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 214 pounds) vs Sakoda (Japan, 237 pounds) - Cole: "I wanted to have a song on Originals." "Nobody likes you. Why would you have a song on Originals? What would it be called?" "I dunno, 'I'm the Best". Cole's favorite song is Rikishi's, so he starts to sing it. Cole wonders why HE wrestles in suit pants.

Josh: "I got a question for you, Cole."
Cole: [nothing]
Josh: "Oh, so you're not going to answer."
Cole: "Just thinking about my song on Originals 2."
Josh: "What difference does it make what you wear to the ring if you win matches? And you're not going to be on Originals 2"
Cole: "In your many years of wrestling in the ring, what was your ring attire?"
Josh: [audible sigh]
Cole: "And how do you know I won't be on Originals 2, maybe I will be."
Josh: "Maybe you will be, Cole, maybe you will be."
Cole: "Did you get anything for Christmas that you had to fix? You should've, because you're a tool. Hahahaha."

There's some off parts up there but you get the idea. Scotty with a goofy walk. Circle, lockup, Sakoda with the armbar and he's pounding the arm. Scotty knocked to one knee but pulling himself up. Forearm to the arm. Scotty forward roll out, kip up, armbar of his own, into a headlock. Off the ropes, big shoulderblock. Celebration. Off the ropes, and then thrown over by Sakoda - but Scotty skins the cat back in. Announcers take this chance to let you know Scotty is still a little upset Rikishi beat him to get in the Rumble. Scotty does the Crane for Sakoda's benefit. Sakoda charges into a hiptoss, armbar, whip, reversed, ugly headscissors. Josh: "Scotty turning it up a notch. As his song would put it 'Turn It Up' (a notch)." Sakoda retreats to the corner, Scotty follows in, Korderas pulls him out and Sakoda dropkicks the knee. Stomping the knee. Knee smash. Bending the knee back. I guess. Scotty's in  a lot more pain than one would seem to buy, but the crowd sounds behind him. Scotty battling up to one foot, punches can't get there, enziguri is ducked, nice job Sakoda. Another knee smash into the mat. Stretching the knee around the post. Sakoda forced to break, and Scotty used the moment to get in control, chop, open hand slap, double slap to the head by Sakoda stops that. Sakoda it with kick, and a snap mare, toe hold cover one two no. Again Scotty's shoulder is down, one two no. Cole is having so much fun, he suggests making it Josh, Bill and Cole on Velocity, but Josh dislikes that idea. He proposes Bill, Josh, Tazz and Cole for SmackDown!, which Cole finds unappetizing. Sakoda setting up for a figure four? Never know, Scotty kicks him away with his right leg. Scotty trying to get up, Sakoda charges with a clothesline, Scotty ducks the clothesline, punch of his own, right. Whip, backdrop. Scotty's getting that look, and waiting for Sakoda to get up so he can do the bulldog. Off the ropes, Sakoda knocks him down via dropkick to the knee. Via? Eh. Sakoda grabs Scotty's leg and pulls him up, and by the ring position, you know what's next. Sakoda's clothesline ducked, Scotty hits the superkick. Sakoda just happens to be in position already. The injured knee does not stop Scotty from hopping around in pre-spelling celebration, which Cole points out. Jumping on the right knee W O R M woo woo woo who who who ha one two no Sakoda's arm is under the ropes. Scotty is slow to pick up the lack of his own music, then argues the concept with Korderas. Now picking up Sakoda, Sakoda with an eye rake, double leg, foot on the ropes, one two three. (5:38) Hmm, that's weird. So, Funaki > Scotty? That'll work for me. Sakoda doesn't have a finisher, I guess. 

Up Next: Watch the Cat here because you wont' see him later.

Eddie hurt. Rumble highlights. Ending with a commercial break in the actual match. (5:19)

And now picking up with Eddie's entrance (12:36)

No Way Out: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title.

And we're out.

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