WWE SATURDAY NIGHT BLOCK RECAPS
Main Event D-Von!  Homeward-Bound Dragon!
April 19, 2004

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

tv 14 dlv cc entertainment open - hey, what happened to "they're shooting new footage for a new SmackDown open that will air [last week] or [this week] anyway?" fireworks yelling blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Hardcore Holly (Mobile, AB, 234 pounds, w/Billy Gunn) vs Akio (Japan, Korea, does it really matter?, 200 pounds, w/Sakoda)- Josh: "This Thursday, the face of SmackDown! changed forever" - and to think, that's the second time in a month. Why, of all the random tag teams they put together, is this the one that sticks? Holly goes out of his way to slap hands with one kid on the way to ringside, and no one else. Your announcers are Bill and Josh, and this is Velocity 98, taped in Indianapolis, IN. Bill seems enraptured by the visage of Hardcore Holly - you can see his eyes get big and his pupils turn into hearts. He esthetically tells us that not only do we get Holly vs Akio, but D-Von Dudley in singles action. AKIO HAS ACTUAL WRESTLING TIGHTS! It's that shiny pleather. They add lyrics to their music? Not any you can make out. Josh waits patiently for Tony Chimel to finish Akio's introduction so he can tell us that Akio is not only Korea's biggest movie star, but has a rivalry going with William Hung. Why do I write this stuff down? Bill: "Right now, Akio is wearing the original pants from Enter the Yang, what is William Hung wearing?" Josh: "Nothing". I'm almost sure he didn't mean it like that. Jimmy Korderas is very polite in asking Hardcore Holly for breaks. Not only will SmackDown Never Be The Same, but Indianapolis will never be the same. Bill: "Kurt Angle didn't deserve what happened to him, but - and you know I'm going to have a but" Josh: "Of course!" I think he did mean that like that! What's Gunn doing throwing Akio back in the ring? At least with guys out there they can find a way to set up a distraction the super low blow. Oooh, Akio just gave Gunn a crotch chop. I think I'm more into that match then this match here that I'm paying no attention to. Complete Velocity standard match, with Akio's funky offense, Hardcore's usual spot, and Hardcore getting multiple near comebacks before finally turning it around. I like how Gunn gets so mad at interference, he chases Sakoda around the ring once, and then just decides to stop and point. Gunn stops Sakoda from stopping Holly from jumping off the top rope, and Holly jumps into a kick, so maybe Gunn's not such a big help. Corner kip up is caught and loaded up, Alabama Slam (5:23)

Tonight: Doug Basham w/Danny vs D-Von Dudley w/Bubba Ray; Josh: "D-Von Dudley making his debut on Velocity (except for the 9 times he was on before!)"

Still to come: Please don't laugh at this man

Backlash: Trish (and Christian) vs Chris Jericho
MXC: Now With White People
Honda Aquatrux
the Punisher
Monster.com (Lester Stein)
Resident Evil: Outbreak
1-800-Call-ATT (beach)
Comcast HD cable
Vehix.com (minivans)
Spike TV (sticker)

the Punisher Nunzio upset win of Last Week

Ultimo Dragon (Nagoya, Japan, 185 pounds) vs Nunzio (201 pounds) -

Velocity is brought to you buy
Snickers
Kill Bill Volume 1
MX Unleashed for PS2 and X-Box
Josh: "I'd like to kill Bill"

Your ref is Charles Robinson. Nunzio makes "I want the belt motions", obviously referring to the Ultimo Dragon Gym title. No? Oh. Josh talks his way around obviously having NO idea when Nunzio will get that title shot against Chavo. Announcers are unanimous in their feeling that if Ultimo wins this match, he should be the number one contender. Lockup? No, Nunzio insists on test of strength - check those muscles. Ultimo is not impressed. Josh tells us Velocity is changing time on May 1st, but won't tell us to what time? That's odd. Test of - no, Nunzio gets in the knee. Fireman's carry is blocked by Ultimo into an Okie Roll one two no. Nunzio is surprised and unhappy to be surprised. Shove for Ultimo, Ultimo shoves Nunzio down. Nunzio charges and knees Ultimo, whip, clothesline but Ultimo rolls under, spinning headscissors. One two NO. Josh: "Bill, make sure you bring all your shirts for the big move!" Snap mare, soccer kick to the back, off the ropes, soccer kick to the chest. Bill: "How come it's not a Japanese kick if it's an Italian whip?" One two no. Nunzio looking for a tag? I don't think the camera guy is in this match. Ultimo tries kicking some sense into Nunzio, which is futile idea. Failing that, Ultimo chucks Nunzio to the outside, and then waits for Nunzio to get up before even jumping to the apron to set up the Asai moonsault. That's a plan destined to fail, and Nunzio alertly sweeps Dragon's legs out from under him the moment he gets outside the ropes. Dragon's face his the apron, then his back hits the barricade courtesy of Nunzio. Everyone back in, Nunzio covers one two no. Jumping jacks. Kneeling surfboard. 

Taking about Cena/Chavo. 
Bill: So now we know that Cena can beat a quote/unquote cruiserweight. 
Josh: [hesitant to go down this path] I, I don't - here we go, why is Chavo Guerrero a quote/unquote cruiserweight, Bill?
Bill: He's a cruiserweight champion!
Josh: Right, so you don't think he's only 225 pounds, Bill
Bill: [thinking this out outloud] I just think that if John Cena, is that confident, then maybe the, the, United States champion should be on the line
The 225 pounds wrongness/history change actually bugs me more than Bill's lack of a point or any logic

Ultimo trying to battle out of the hold. Crowd peaked too soon for him. Elbows up, then a good old chop exchange. Dragon's wining with his double chops till Nunzio goes to the eyes. Nunzio corner whip, but Ultimo nails him with the WOW crossbody, rolling through to his knees, only to run into another Nunzio knee. Quick Russian legsweep one two no. Back to the kneeling surfboard. Nunzio: "HE DON'T STAND A CHANCE!" Ultimo drawing from the fans again, this time getting the comeback timed better, elbows, elbows, and Nunzio stops him with a forearm. Nunzio whip, clothesline misses, Ultimo's stutter step into the quebrada! Both men down, one two three four five six. Nunzio's right hand misses, Ultimo's kick to the hamstring doesn't. Repeat! Repeat again, right into the Three Kick Combo. One two NO. Bill suggests SmackDown! GM Bill with SmackDown Assistant GM Josh. Ultimo whip, Ultimo knocks Nunzio down with a sideways tope. Ultimo tells the crowd he's gonna clothesline Nunzio, and then he clotheslines Nunzio. Whip, Ultimo with a backdrop one two no. Bill has lost his mind. Standing wheel kick by Ultimo knocks Nunzio in the corner. Ultimo charges in, and gets a back elbow. Nunzio quick to the second rope, square second rope dropkick is sidestepped by Ultimo. La Majistral (called!) one two NO! Fans are unhappy. Dragon can't believe it's two. Whip, reversed, reversed, reversed (quite a dance going on), Nunzio is the one who hits the ropes, Ultimo puts his head down too soon and takes a forearm. Powerbomb? Ultimo reveres to a (near self-neck crushing - slow motion TiVo replay shows he did hit his head) 'rana, Nunzio rolls through one two NO. Bill wants to know when the last time John Cena actually defended that US Title, and also suggests that by losing the match, Chavo Guerrero should be #1 contender to the US Title. Corner whip by Nunzio, Ultimo kips up and out, standing heel kick to the midsection. Calling for it - Asai DDT is reversed into a sleeper by Nunzio! Dragon tries back suplex, Nunzio lands on his feet (uh, knees), Ultimo back elbows him and tries for the Asai DDT without the call, Nunzio blocks for no apparent reason before grabbing the ropes to give us an improbable reason, Ultimo pulls him loose and does the back flip, but (I guess?) Nunzio grabs the ropes again to block the DDT portion. Ultimo hops on Nunzio's shoulders for a victory roll, but Nunzio pushes him off forward. Nunzio with a full nelson, Ultimo drops free to the mat, reverse bodyscissors cradle is reversed the other way by Nunzio, who hooks the ropes to stay on top one two three (6:07) Ultimo can't believe it. See you around, Dragon.

Up Next: Booker T AND RVD COLLIDE

Confidential: Sneak Preview of the new Divas magazine
Gatorade X-Factor
anti-drug (drowning)
Drakengard
Foot Locker: Reebox (out for a spin)

Drakengard tag team break up of two weeks ago

So, the match this week. Did anyone ever figure out if RVD resigned? Because I could swear he's kinda being booked like a guy who's done in June. Did Cole just say "belly to belly from behind?" I think Tazz had to restrain himself from doing more than correcting Cole, given the hype job they were doing for the match, but that doesn't make any sense. (2655-3245)

Tonight: Doug Basham w/Danny vs D-Von Dudley w/Bubba Ray; Yes, I know he appeared as Rev. D-Von and just D-Von, but c'mon

SmackDown Live!
4/19 - Medicine Hat, AB [WMRevenge]
4/20 - Kelowna, BC [SD!]
4/24 - Tulsa, OK [WMRevenge]
4/25 - Wichita Falls, TX [WMRevenge]
4/27 - Oklahoma City, OK [SD!]

X-Box (jungle)
1-800-Call-ATT (idol)
Stacker 2 (John Cena rap 2)
Truth (buzzcut)
Tom Clancy: Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow

Mordecai promo (:50) It took me a second to realize this wasn't a video game commercial or something. This reminds me of the CG Gail Kim intro promos that led to nothing about nothing. 
Bill: "Josh, get the hell out of my lap!"

Raw Rebound (1:16) Bill could care less about Backlash

Johnny Stamboli (250 pounds) vs Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 247 pounds) - Bill terms Show's mayhem on Thursday "a little damage", compared to what Booker did to RVD. Bill: "In the scheme of things, what did he really do? What did he really do?" I guess Kurt's not dead. Or Bill really does want his job! Circle. Bill: "It was a rental car! It's not like it was Torrie's car!" Lockup, Johnny with a waistlock, switch, switch, Johnny with a headlock, elbow, elbow, I can't help but think that Bill's going too far out of his way to be a moron this week, shot off, Johnny back with a shoulderblock. Taunt, off the ropes, over, under, hiptoss. Armdrag into an armbar. Johnny tries backing Orlando in the corner, but Orlando puts the beaks on that. Right hand fixes the situation, back in the corner and out with a corner whip. Johnny charges, Orlando does the kip up out, pointless roll and taunt for Johnny. Johnny charges into a dropkick one two no. Armbar. Bill: "The man [Rico] kisses men! That's not what we do! That's not what I do, anyway!" Josh: [hurriedly] "That's not what I do." Bill tries to sneak in a line anyway. Johnny this time has no problem backing Orlando in the corner this time. Johnny tries a punch on the clean break, Orlando ducks under it but runs into a boot anyway. Flapjack onto the top rope gets a loud reaction from the crowd and none at all from the announcers.

Josh: "It goes into the record books, Rico won by countout"
Bill: "Then let's go into the ring, and let me put my tongue in your mouth, and then I win the match"
Josh: "You try to put your tongue in my mouth in the announce booth all the time!"
Bill: "And I don't win, do I?"
Josh: "No!"

Boot choke by Johnny. Johnny out to give Orlando a running forearm from the outside. One two no. Bill on Jindrak: "I've seen this, where a guy stands in front of a mirror, one other time in my career. And I don't see him anymore." Chinlock. Josh has lost his player card. Johnny lets go of the chinlock to drop a knee, one two no. Chinlock. Bill, confused but knowing he must be the contrarian at all times, is now taking Booker's side after complaining that Booker went too far for the first half of this match. Corner whip, Orlando falls into a seated position. I bet Johnny doesn't do a stinkface. Johnny backs up, charges, dropkick is avoided and Johnny crotches himself in the post. Both down. Johnny up first, elbow drop but no home. Orlando with a chinbreaker. Johnny's right hand is blocked, Orlando, right, right, avoid Johnny's right, Orlando right, right, off the ropes, fivearm, back elbow, clothesline. Orlando whip, backdrop. Orlando pumped. Loading up? Ah, jab jab shuffle big right is blocked and Johnny kills him with a clothesline!

Velocity: Beginning May 1st, new start time 7e/6c (wait, why couldn't Josh tell us if they're telling us?)
WWE.Com: Exclusive interview with Chavo Guerrero Sr: The Pride of El Paso 
Divas 2004 Swimsuit Issue on sale next Tuesday

Johnny slow to follow up, recovering. Press slam, but Orlando punching free from the press and landing on his feet. Black out, one two three (5:27) Well that wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.

Up Next: You're not funny, show

John Cena: World Life DVD
MX Unleashed (testing center)
Kill Bill Volume 2
Honda Rancher AT
Matrix Revolutions
Illinois Secretary of State Organ/Tissue Donor Program (Ian)

Back to the announcers. Josh: "Something got into the Big Show." What, a large pizza and 48oz Pepsi? 

Big Show on a rampage. Ooooh. If you're running for your life, don't wearing high heeled boots. Wow, Kurt falls all that way from a chokeslam and doesn't even make a [thump] (4:02)

MXC: Tony Hawk will show up for ANYTHING
Godsend
Resident Evil: Outbreak
Gatorade (streetball)
Target (Master and Commander DVD)
Van Helsing
the WWE Experience

Doug Basham (Columbus, OH, 240 pounds, w/Danny Basham) vs D-Von Dudley (New York City, 242 pounds, w/Bubba Ray Dudley) - Camera zooms in on the wrong Basham, ha! Now they got it. Josh: "From Dudleyville to Velocityville!" Circle. Lockup, D-Von armbar, twist, hammerlock, waistlock, waistlock takedown, Doug can't find a way out of any of this but gets a foot on the ropes. "WE WANT TABLES" Circle. Lockup, Doug with a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock, snot blow for D-Von. Doug turns to go off the ropes, and D-Von trips him up. Kurt has the worst possible concussion, a broken leg, and internal injuries. Doug is angry, angry enough to run into a hiptoss and a dropkick. Drop toe hold, inside cradle one two no. D-Von armdrag, armbar. Five people chant "D-Von". Doug battling up to his feet, D-Von walked into the ropes and Doug gives him a shoulder to the midsection. Whip, clothesline misses, D-Von back with the spinning back elbow one two NO. Dough with a right hand, whip, reversed, head to head collusion and everyone's down. D-Von's got enough to roll out of the ring and Bubba checks on him. Brian Hebner checks to make sure Bubba isn't helping him, missing Danny make the switch with Doug in the ring. Danny acts staggered, but ducks D-Von's punch as he comes back in and gives him a back suplex. One two no. One two no. Bubba: "HE SWITCHED! HE SWITCHED!" Hebner is deaf or just doesn't believe him. Leg choke by Danny. Turnbuckle smash. Stomp. Danny off the ropes, elbow drop. One two NO. Straight jacket chin lock. Bubba slapping the mat to rally D-Von. Bill's theory is that D-Von can't really complain about the Basham's switching being an unfair disadvantage, since the Bashams do it all the time and D-Von should've known what he was in for. D-Von battling up, right hands, Danny's knee stops that. Short clothesline. One two NO. Elbow to the back of the head. Danny with kicks. Corner whip, and down goes D-Von. Danny pulls him into the middle of the ring, jacknife cover one two no. Neck vice. Crowd loud for D-Von now. D-Von battling up, right hands, but another knee stops that. I'm so bored with knees and forearms to the back cutting off things. Corner whip, Danny charges in, D-Von moves and Danny posts himself. Both men slightly slow up, D-Von gets the better of the punches. Whip, reversed, and D-Von hits a diving clothesline. Clothesline, clothesline, kick, swinging neckbreaker one two no. Corner whip, D-Von charges and hits a clothesline, Danny rebounds out and D-Von knocks him over with another diving clothesline, one two no. D-Von waiting for Danny to get up, then opting to go off the ropes, Doug trips him up. Brian Hebner's throwing Doug out? Yep, yelling at him and walking him up the ramp. Back in the ring, Danny is trying for something on D-Von, but D-Von stops him with a forearm. Bubba in, and the crowd senses it - 3D. D-Von covers as Brian Hebner comes back and Bubba blocks Doug from getting involved, one two three (5:48) Bill's turning point is the switch - and then Doug getting thrown out of the match. Josh: "Awesome awesome awesome!" 

Confidential is now.

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