TV PG V cc entertainment open - now that they know this is going, there's no point in taking out Nash and Hall, I guess. I know this only has bugged me, but still.
 

Josh: It's so great to be back on Saturday night. Man, I've been so busy.
Romero: I've hardly seen you!
Josh: Well, you know, Britney Spears is pregnant.

Shannon rolls out, kips up, armbar, shortening to a wristlock, Chavo reaches for the ropes, then opts just to elbowsmash his way out. Stomping. European uppercut. And another. Chavo rather agitated. Back suplex. One two no. Right. Slam, Shannon slips out, chop, chop, right, knee? eh, Chavo stops this with a tights pull throw into the middle buckle. Stomp. Snap mare, kneeling hammerlock/ab stretch thingy. Shannon kicking at the mat to rally up, but the crowd not helping. Rights, but Chavo stops him with a knee. Shannon rallies back with more strikes, but a big right stops that. Chavo stomps him in the corner, picks Shannon up, and Shannon fires back for a third time. Corner whip, reversed, and Chavo charges into a back elbow. Shannon just resting in the corner, so Chavo charges in again, catches the boot before it kicks him, but still gets clotheslined. Shannon is Moore-oning up. Clothesline, clothesline, whip, backdrop. Dance of celebration. Corner whip, reversed, Shannon kips up and just barley out. Shannon grabs Chavo for a back suplex, lifts him up, and drops him forward, into the buckle.  Shannon to the middle rope, second rope leg lariat one two NO. Shannon can't believe it. Reverse neckbreaker, Chavo slips free and shoves Shannon in to the ropes, Shannon comes back with a bodyscissors rollup, one two NO. Shannon looking at the crowd. Shannon with a right, right, right, right, right, whip, reversed into a short clothesline, Shannon ducks under, turns and charges, Chavo lifts him up, Shannon lands gutfirst on the top rope. Chavo grabbing him off - and right into the Gory Special. Gory Bomb, one two three. (5:21) Raise his arm.

Up Next: Brown means bribes!

So a guy who's theme music goes MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO can't tell a package smells of cow guts? He's really gone New York. (4:13)

Tonight: Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas vs Akio & Spike Dudley. Darn Kidman.

SmackDown! Live
04/18 - Madison Square Garden [RAW/SD! Supershow]
oh right, that means no Velocity matches next week either. Great.
unlisted - Dublin, Ireland [SD! WM Revenge Tour]
unlisted - Dublin, Ireland [SD! WM Revenge Tour]
unlisted - London, England
unlisted - Bologna, Italy
unlisted - Milan, Italy

WWE Slam of the Week, presented by King's Ransom: MNM. Carlito watching from his lounge chair while Rey gets the Snap Shot is way up there in the Greatest Things Ever, you know.

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 208 pounds) vs Nunzio (175 pounds) - Scotty does this thing where he pretends the fan won't let go of him, and it's almost hilarious. Romero is blown away to see Nunzio here. I guess the heel turn (of standing in the background of a Luther Reigns segment) stuck. Romero is thrilled to finally get the Nunzio/Scotty match he's long desired. Hey, look, Chris Kay's a SmackDown referee this week. Scotty doing the funky walk to draw the chant. Handshake? Okay. Lockup, Scotty with armbar, twist, Nunzio twists back, Scotty rolls to the mat and kips up, Scotty armbar, over the shoulder takeover. Scotty busts a move. Romero has made his third 'Isn't Melina hot?' without a segue line since this segment started. I mean, yea, but please stop drooling. Circle. Lockup, Nunzio with a headlock. Scotty elbows out.Nunzio shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Nunzio off the ropes, over, under, stopping quick for a wristlock, Scotty with a switch, Nunzio picks a leg, Scotty kicks him away with the other, standoff. Circle. Lockup. Nunzio backs Scotty in the corner, and holds him there while turning away. Scotty turns to the crowd as they chant Scotty again, and Nunzio nails him with an elbow to the face. Nunzio mocks the clapping for Scotty while he recovers, then rolls out when he does. Nunzio back in, and he wants another handshake. Scotty thinks about it, looks to the crowd, and gets elbowed in the face again! He ought to stop doing that. Stomping and choking. Rights. Headbutts! One two no. Nunzio raving to himself. Romero tells us Scotty was more worried about testicular cancer surgery than the neck surgery, which sounds like a set up to a good punch line, but ends up being a plug for SmackDown! magazine. Scotty backslide, one two no. Nunzio with a knee to stop him. forearm to the back. Corner whip, Nunzio charges into a back elbow. Scotty out, clothesline misses, Nunzio rests in the corner, Scotty charges back, Nunzio moves, and Scotty spears the corner post. Nunzio pulls him out by his legs, takes him down, and handstands into a pin one two no. MOCKING THE WORM DANCE. Scotty's not even close to the right place for it. F B dropkick to the eye! One two NO. "FASTER!" Snap mare, into a hammerlock. Crowd loud for Scotty. Switching to an Indian hammerlock thingy. Lots of thingys tonight. Scotty stands back up, shot to the gut, shot to the gut, off the ropes, under the clothesline, Nunzio nailed by the superkick. Both guys down. one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. Scotty kips up. Scotty right, right, whip, backdrop. Scotty sensing it's time. Off the ropes, two handed bulldog caught into a sidewalk slam one two NO. Nunzio trying a back suplex, but Scotty scissors his inside leg to block it. Nunzio relends and forearms Scotty in the back instead. Trying again, but Scotty lands on his feet. Off the ropes, one handed bulldog. It's time. W O R M woo woo woo who who who ha. One two three. (6:06) Now I know why Romero was so hyped to see this match!

Still to come: Angle vs Guerrero

Enjoy your first of many many many John Cena CD promos. Out May 10th.

Luther Reigns (Phoenix, AZ, 295 pounds) vs Funaki (Japan, 180 pounds) - Your ref is Charles; how's his week? I guess I got the wrong half of the ex-team, huh. Josh thinks Luther is faster than Funaki, and I guess that isn't impossible. Unlikely, though. Funaki trying it out earlier, running and striking. Running's working fine. The chops and punches, not so much. Luther kicks and elbows and stomps to end that. Double choke lift to bring back fond memories of when Luther was A-Train. Luther IS A-Train now, isn't he? How sad. Stomp down. Luther brings the creativity, dragging Funaki's head out towards the ringpost, and using his knee to press Funaki into to the post. Stomp. Knee. Luther wants to kill Romero, but is buds with Josh, Josh informs us. "I get along with people who don't like anyone else." "What about Hardcore Holly?" "He's a different story." HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL LONDON. Try not bleed on your cake. Luther standing over Funaki and giving him crossface shots. Big slam. Off the ropes, jumping knee but no one's home. Funaki off the ropes, dropkick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, pumped up dance, kick to the knee, kick to the knee, kick to the knee, Luther shoves him away, Josh is thinking Funaki's got a chance which is a horrible sign, Luther whiffs on a clothesline, Luther catches Funaki on the next pass. Setting him up, and there's The Move. One two three. (2:05) Josh has a big prepared line at the end of the match which gets my hopes up someone came up with a name, but crushes me by saying "twisting neckbreaker." So mean.

Up Next: MOTY? Well, it is only April.

Stacker 2 XPLC Stack of the Night: a judge overturning the FDA's ban on ephedra (10 mg or less). Or something with Rey and Eddie, I dunno.

Rey should've taken his own advice. Rey should've dropped the chair! Rey should've done a lot of things. Darn Mysterio. (4:57)

Up Next: Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas vs Akio & Spike Dudley

Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas (490 pounds) vs Spike Dudley & Akio (340 pounds) - I guess Spike's the boss of his team, since they're playing his music. Spike and Hardcore to start. Nick is your ref. Lockup. Holly backing Spike into the corner, clean break upsets Spike. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Hardcore Holly! Chop. Holly throws Spike into the corner, Spike ducks the clothesline and escapes to the other side of the corner. Warning Hardcore to keep his distance. Lockup, headlock, off the ropes, Hardcore teases chop, Spike ducks for protection, Hardcore elbows him in the head instead to pop him up, and chops him down. Another big chop. Into the corner, chop. chop. One more? Yes. Tag to Haas. Corner whip, big double flapjack. Spike rolls to Akio, tags him in, rolls to the floor, and collapses there. Akio is mighty confused. This is what happens when you don't team with Kidman, Akio! Circle/hopping, which seems to be annoying Haas. Akio throws a high kick to impress the people and back off Haas. Next kick connects with the abs. Forearm, kick, forearm, forearm, corner whip, Akio charges in, no one home on the clothesline, and Haas gives Akio an armbar take down onto his knee. Armbar. Step over sit on the left arm. Scoop up, shoulderbreaker to the left shoulder. Haas expressionless to the middle rope, and a knee to the left shoulder. One two NO. Hammerlock to the left, arm, driving it into the corner post. Akio frees himself with back elbows, and pulls him down by the hair. Akio collects himself, pulls Haas to his feet, and pulls out the leaning out of the ring headscissors choke. Picked the wrong corner to do it, because Hardcore  is quickly over and chopping Akio to break it. Spike's recovered enough to retaliate, giving Hardcore the battering ram to prevent followup. DUDLEY DOG ON THE FLOOR. Once again, Akio looks down to see Spike laying on the floor of the arena, and is utterly confused. Doesn't help when he turns around and walks into a Haas chop. Right hand to the head. Whip, back elbow. Spike on the apron, Spike brought in. Running shoulder to the gut by Haas. Akio charges, and Haas leisurely grabs and release T-Bones him. Haas looks bored by the level of competition, or something. Now he's stomping the mat - what, no, Garvin Stomp? YES, taking Akio about with stomps. The heck? Off the ropes, kneedrop, one two and Spike breaks it up. Hardcore eventually comes over (prompted by Spike waving him over) to argue about Spike getting involved. That ties up Nick and Hardcore, allowing Spike to attack Haas - except Haas ain't taking any of this crap tonight, blocking a turnbuckle smash and giving Spike one instead. Belly to belly - no, Akio gets in a jumping kick to the back of the head to break that up. Spike retreats to the outside while Akio stomps, snap mares, and tags Spike back in. All the way up, top rope stomp! One two NO. Chinlock - no, choke on the ropes. Spike distracts so Akio can do it while Spike gets in some shots to the back. Tag to Akio, choke on the rope. Right. Whip, Akio puts his head down too soon, Haas presses off Akio's back into a somersault (!) and rolls to the tag, and Akio's in a lot of trouble when he realizes what's happened. Hardcore punch, release full nelson slam. Spike in, Spike thinks better of it and leaves. Whip, backdrop. Whip, dropkick. Hardcore looking at him, looking at him - ah, Spike's in with a forearm. Hardcore isn't hurt, but Spike is when Hardcore does the same. Alabama Crunch. Akio tries the wheel kick, but he's caught, loaded up, and dropped with the Alabama Slam. One two three. (6:11) Haas is at least excited after the match.

That's it.