We clear? Good. The last time I can find me doing this bit is 04/05/03, which is a long long time ago, and plenty of changed were made even before the draft lottery, so a straight up comparison wouldn't work. Stealing the text to reuse for the non-action shots would.

Green lines lead to fast highway driving
Velocity Logo
Drivers seat perspective
Green lines
Driver cam in the WWE racing car
Green lines, panning up and left away
Exhaust pipes - they shoot out green
Green lines, panning up and left away
Batista (in suit) screaming
Velocity logo
WWE.com Racing Car
Muhammad Hassan
Booker T
Velocity Logo
Rey Mysterio
green lines
Chris Benoit
green eye
One frame shot of the driver, getting ready to drive
Velocity Logo
Christian
Torrie
Lots of green lines
JBL
M&N gives Rey the Snapshot
Green lines to a Velocity logo
The Semi/Ambulance crash
Velocity logo
The second angle of the Semi/Ambulance crash
Velocity logo, one letter at a time
Undertaker
Eddie
Green lines, panning up and left away
Chris Benoit
Tire from the #59 STP car
Rey Mysterio's entrance
More of the 59 car as it races away
Randy Orton
Extreme close up of the Velocity logo
Melina, sliding into the ring
Green lines, panning up and left away
Christian
Green lines to the Velocity logo
Eddie
green lines
Torrie
green lines
Randy Orton
Booker
logo
lines
Rey Mysterio, slingshotting out of the ring, intermixed with more Velocity lines.
logo
Undertaker
lines
green
Batista
logo - lots of angles on that
purple car, reverse angle
lines
purple car
logo

The only action shot there from before (well, besides the nWo bit) is Rey's entrance.

Josh, Romero and the TV PG V box welcome me to yet another very special edition of Velocity. Today's special lesson: how to deal with boredom. Tip #1: pretend the filler you're spending an hour on is awesome, which Romero and Josh do. By the way, I've never loved the TV rating box more than right now, when it's obstructing Romero's face.

Josh: "First, let's talk about Muhammad Hassan." LET'S NOT. Remember last week when I said they tape this on Wednesday? How unfortunate is that this week? Well, we go right to the match, so probably not near as I can be. One time, all I'm asking: use the SmackDown! set on the double brand show. I mean, it's at least give the impression of separate but equal. One thing you absolutely must say about Muhammad Hassan: that's a nice tie.

You really have to think about this angle - why did Hassan need to Daivari to have a 30 second match with Undertaker to do the beatdown? Daivari didn't weaken Undertaker at all and Hassan wasn't shocked. Why couldn't the mysterious guys in black (I'm thinking they're Capos and they forgot their cowboy hats) punked out Undertaker the moment he got to the ring? I'm thinking Hassan could've had him distracted like this at any time. Does Angle know Hassan stole his pose? Undertaker's really slipping if he can't beat up five guys! Must be the lack of an urn. OBVIOUSLY these guys aren't terrorists - I mean, they're not using the wire for the right thing! This is the closest Val's come to a victory on an A-Show in years. There's something right and wrong about the most devastating thing Hassan could do was to put Undertaker in a camel clutch. (5:12)

"Like a sacrifice or something; like a martyr."

Josh and Romero get over the "sympathizers" and "martyr" description they obviously want to key parts of the angle (at this point.) The clue is they say it three times in ten seconds. "What's going to happen when Muhammad Hassan and the Undertaker go one on one at Great American Bash?" I'm thinking he's going to job and job hard, Josh.

Romero: "Josh, do you remember the great TV show, Dallas?" "No, Steve." Hahahahaha anyway we're talking about - JBL on the old set? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY I like how Josh is supposed to be the voice of people 'our age', and they had him talking how he didn't care, and yet we're still doing it. This goes (1:06) AND LIKES IT. Hey, that was a JBL promo in disguise! Meanwhile, I see if I can remember how to snatch audio clips from a TV show, so I can have "No, Steve" whenever I want it. (Not quite "No, Tony", but it's got potential.)

Clips of SmackDown! Tour of [fill in place here].

Here's a public service - a recap of every single one of these ever.
[fan residing in non-US/Canada country] we're so thrilled to have the WWE here!
[Superstar] we're so thrilled to be here!
[random McMahon] Thanks for having us!
[that darn Japanese rock wannabe] LOOK! I MADE IT TO THE CLIPS THIS TIME TOO!
(1:18)

SummerSlam: 6 Week Away. Good we're promoting it while they have another PPV coming up.

Why Are We Doing This Theatre: Undertaker vs Undertaker, SummerSlam 1994. Who lost the bet? You know, for my money, I prefer Psicosis vs Psicosis over Undertaker versus Undertaker for in ring quality, but the booking in Undertaker versus Undertaker was a lot less stupid. I'm pretty sure Mr. Niebla vs Mr. Niebla was better than all of this. "You figure it out." Brian Lee's still alive, right? It sometime gets hard to recall. Undertaker goes a lot more straight down onto his knees nowadays. Here, he's driving forward on impact, which would seem riskier. Watching this match is risky. Didn't think to time it.

Up Next: Eddie and Rey

SmackDown! Live
06/11 - Portland, ME [SD! Live]
06/12 - Worcester, MA [SD!]
06/16 - Frederick, MD [SD! Live]
06/17 - Ocean City, MD [SD! Live]
06/19 - Baltimore, MD [SD!]

What could (Eddie is Dominic father) Eddie's secret (Eddie is Dominic father) possibly be? It's not like there's an obvious answer. (2:08)

Josh displays his command of the obvious.

tag team title match. MNM must be getting bored with Eddie not wrestling them. At least Cole and Tazz acknowledge it. Could you take my picture? 'Cuz I wouldn't remember. (Yeah.) Way to turn right into the legdrop, Nitro. Please say I can go Eddie. I really want to go.

You know, if Rey was any kind of a real man, he'd go to Dominic and the rest of his family, talk with them over what happened, and deal with it instead of being a chicken and a toadie. It won't be easy, but is this? Rey Mysterio, complete coward, who'd think it. (7:23)

Up Next: filler from last week's Heat! Because no one could possibly watch both of this shows (hey, TNM!)

Slam of the Week, presented by the Devils' Rejects: Chris Benoit beats Booker T for the #1 contendership for the US Title. And it was a Best of 7 for #1 Contendership for the TV Title. Michael Cole was wrong, but what does it say about those who blindly believed Michael Cole on a historical fact? (They totally should bring the Best of 7 up each and every time they face until it becomes annoying, though. A for Effort, D for Research. You really want me to love you, though, you bring up Booker facing Cena in a Best of 5 all of last year.)

We have no graphic for this match, so let's just talk about it and segue.

Josh: "Do you know what tag team held every major tag team champion available to them?"
The Dudley Boyz? Shockingly, they don't say that anymore.

This is a lead in to the Road Warriors DVD stuff, though they start at the drugs part and go on from there, so it's a little new. Did Animal confuse which team double suplexed him to injury, or do they expect us to not tell the difference between the Beverly Brothers and Furnas & Lafon? That's a weird one. Wow, talking about Kensuke Sasaki and footage. Looking, Sonny Ono - this is from that international Starrcade, right? Wait, no, that's World War 3. Didn't expect to be seeing Clash of the Champions footage tonight - 01/23/96, implied as the LOD's return. Eric explaining why he signs stars from other companies is really funny for some reason. (6:25) This wasn't horrible!

WWE Rewind sponsored by Wrestlemania 21: Blue Meanie beats JBL, with some help. And that's all they're getting this.

Great American Bash's sponsor is WWE.com? How weak. They have graphics for none of this. Josh refers to a "behind the scenes rivalry." Guess the parody wasn't good enough to be reshown.

Christian goes to new show, stays in the same position. If so many others didn't get let go today, I bet he'd be down about it. Hey, look, Brian Hebner working a SD! Main Event, what are odds. Someone needs to realize that thumbs up, thumbs down is unbelievably dumb. I wonder what they're going to try to do to make OJ vs Benoit the slightest bit competitive? (3:14)

Romero: "It's a been a great show!" LIES! That's it.