the power is back.
  

Simon Dean (Clearwater, FL, 210 pounds) vs a point - Dean Machine, check. Bad, check. Referee Chris Kay, check. Microphone, check. "People, my name is Simon Dean! And you see, all my life, I've been a winner, which is why it amazes me, that no matter what city I go to, I can't find a single person who's just like me, a winner. Instead, I keep in running into the exact opposite - a bunch of people who enjoy being pathetic, a bunch of people who enjoy being out of shape, a bunch of people who enjoy being pathetic out of shape losers. That's right people, I'm a winner because of my patented Simon System, and my name is Simon Dean and Simon Says-" Well, I guess he doesn't.

Simon Dean vs Hardcore Holly (Mobile, Alabama, 243 pounds) - He's gonna talk? He's got a competing brand. "You know, Simon, there needs to be a little truth behind the Simon System. Apparently, the Simon System seems like laxative to me! Which is bad for you, because I'm fixing to kick the crap out of you, right here!" Okay. Simon attacks him by using Chris Kay as an obstruction, and we're off. Punches and forearms, and that's the end of that, as Hardcore turns it around and pounds him down. Time for chops. Hardcore pulls down Simon's top so he can feel it better, and pulls him around to another corner for more. Josh: "He can rip a nipple off!" Going for the Alabama Slam already? Simon grabs the ropes and climbs out to the apron. Chris keeps Hardcore way, and Simon pulls him out. Right hands, forearms to the back, rammed into the apron, and Hardcore thrown in, cover one two no. Forearms to the back, chinlock. Double armbar now instead. Now Into a Dragon sleeper, make up your mind. Simon lets go to axhandle him, and then choke with his boot. Hardcore escapes into the corner, and Simon works him over more, ending with a short clothesline for two. Loud HOLL E chant out of nowhere. Simon tries a suplex, Hardcore gets a small package, one two no. Hardcore with chops, but Simon stops him with a knee. Corner whip, Hardcore drops down with a knee, Simon has a springboard knee to the back. Forearm. They talk about Eddie/Kennedy here. Modified chinlock. Hardcore hiptoss out, and drops Simon with the half nelson slam. Hardcore with rights, and chops. Whip, back elbow. Whip, dropkick. One two NO. Alabama Cruncher. Alabama Slam. One two three. (4:56) 

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, Maine, 208 pounds) vs Kid Kash (200 pounds) - Josh says Teddy Long's been working on submission holds with Chris Benoit, in preparation for their Survivor Series match. Your ref is Nick. Circle. Scotty says Kash talks to much. Kash teases a takedown. Circle. The WWE.com shills every match are becoming grating, though we learn Juvi uses the Velocity theme as a ringtone. Armbar by Kash, Scotty reverses to his own, Kash reveres it to a hammerlock, takes him down, Scotty up and reversing, Kash throws him down, then hides in the ropes. Lockup, Scotty with an armbar. Kash with an eye poke to reverse. Corner whip, reversed, Kash goes in hard, gets whipped the other corner to go in hard, gets whipped a third time, Scotty goes for corner punches but is shoved off at five, and thrown into the corner post shoulder first. Armbar. Knees to the arm. They've just listed every member of  Team SmackDown! here, so I can't imagine what that audio drop was about, unless Josh included someone mistakenly and no one caught till after the show was over. Stomps to the left arm. Armbar on the left arm. Scotty rallying up with support from the crowd. Right hands, but Kash stops him with an eye poke. Corner whip, charge in to a Scotty kick. Scotty with right hands. Josh brings up Ricky Morton. Scotty with a running elbow smash, and he's pumped. Corner whip, charge into a Kash back elbow. Kash tries a moonsault bodyblock, Scotty steps forward and under, Kash lands on his feet, Scotty superkicks him. Kash doesn't go down, but is staggered. Scotty gets him with a clothesline, and even though they're on the wrong side of the ring, it's time. W O R M who who who ha ha Kash rolls out because wrestling is fake? I guess. Kash snaps Scotty's arm over the top rope and head sup, but Scotty crotches him. Scotty up after him. Superplex? No, Kash shoves him off so Scotty's arm snaps over the rope once again, and then moonsaults onto the arm! One two three. (4:38) Kid Kash is not a nice guy.

Recap of the End of Batista. Odd to see Chris Masters wearing a shirt. Nice subtle bit was Edge telling Kane to do the corner fireworks, and Kane giving him a "shut up, I'll do the fireworks when I'm good and ready (which is...now)", because they're still not buddies. (2:20)

Brian Kendrick & Paul London (356 pounds) vs William Regal and Paul Burchill (England, 504 pounds) - Kendrick actually beats London to the ring. Your ref is Korderas. Regal and London to start. Circle. Lockup, Regal backs London into the corner, and uses some illegal grabbing to get an armdrag, armbar. London reveres, into a headlock, shot off, shoulderblock actually works (!) and London gets a headlock before tagging in Kendrick for a Mushroom Stomp (!), one two no. Headlock, shot off, over, back with a jumping shoulderblock, one two Regal reveres to a legscissors, Kendrick headstands out and gets that headlock back. Regal gets in a knee, and escapes to tag in Burchill. Brian ducks Paul's clothesline, and pulls him over  in a headlock, takedown. Burchill tries a back suplex, but Brian hands on and pulls him in a headlock takedown. Tag to London, snap mare, London dropkick to the back of the head, one two no. London right back on him with a headlock. Tag to Kendrick. Drop toe hold, Kendrick off both sets of ropes and a neck stomp. Running knee to the head, too. Tag to London again, lots of tags. Whip, double Japanese armdrag, kick tot eh chest, kick to the back. Regal in, and he takes a double backdrop. Double corner whip for Burchill, Kendrick whips London in for a running forearm, then drops to all fours so Kendrick can hit the high forearm. double hiptoss into backbreakers, one two NO! It's Paul and Paul in there now, headlock by London, he reaches for another tag, Burchill kicks at Kendrick, Kendrick wants in, Korderas stops him, Burchill shoots London off, and Regal pulls down the top rope to send Paul London to the floor. Regal works London over on the outside, ramming him back first into the apron. Thrown back in, Burchill with a snap mare, one two no. Regal wants a tag, but Burchill gets in a knee to the back and a slam first. Burchill holds London down so Regal has an easy opening for a stomp to the back. Forearm to the back. Front facelock, tag to Burchill, forearm by Burchill. Burchill with a standing fireman's carry, and back hard for a Samoan Drop. Standing Moonsault! One two Kendrick dropkicks him in the face. Tag to Regal, Burchill holds London (which Romero calls "a figure four leglock" because he's a moron - Burchill is just holding the legs down with his arms) for a kneedrop. Butterfly suplex, one two no. London trying to crawl away, but gets grabbed. Tag to Burchill, Regal scoops him up so Burchill can kick him in the back. Korderas argues with Regal for staying in too long, and is slow to count the pinfall as a result - one two no. Burchill is ticked at the slow count. Side backbreaker, Burchill pressing him down over his knee. London using knees to the head to try and get free, Burchill lifts him up, London slips behind and runs Burchill towards Kendrick, allowing him to make the tag. Kendrick with a swinging dropkick in, dropkick on Regal, dropkick on Burchill, dropkick on Regal, dropkick on Burchill! Jumping forearm for Regal, and corner punches one two three four five six seven eight nine jumping off into a spinning DDT on Burchill for ten! Double dropkick on Regal! STO/Enziguri to the back of the head on Burchill! That had a name I'm forgetting! Kendrick covers one two THREE! (8:26) Haha, it still works! Josh notes it's a upset. We need a MILLION BILLION of these matches. They probably shouldn't hug in the ring just in case, but they manage to live.

That's it.