Nunzio & Vito (420 pounds) vs the Mexicools (412 pounds) - they're going to keep doing this match till it gets old. Would it hurt to do the London/Kendrick vs Mexicools match? London and Kendrick could try their heel gimmick as actual heels! Josh: "This is going to be the rubber match in the series; Vito & Nunzio have 2000 wins, and the Mexicools also have 2000 wins." Now he's just lying to be funny! It took Romero the Mexicools entrance to figure out Josh might have not been honest. Psi is very happy to see the crowd, and likewise. Psi and Vito to start, and Vito quickly pulls him into a headlock. Tightening it up. Vito shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, shoulderblock, pelvic dance? Let's not. Vito over, under, into a dropkick (actually stopped short which wasn't cool). Vito up and into an armdrag. WWE.com drop here, as Psi gets an armbar, tags Crazy, and Crazy adds the axhandle. Cranking the arm. Vito stops this with a knee, and tags in Nunzio. Nunzio tries a hiptoss, blocked, Crazy tries a hiptoss, blocked, Crazy monkey flip not blocked! Crazy drags Nunzio into the corner, and tags Psi. Time for it - double rolling legbar on Psi, one two three. Your ref is Chris, by the way. I'm bad at that this week. Psi tags in Crazy, double whip, double pump powerbomb, moonsault/legdrop combo one two Vito breaks it up. Crazy with a scoop, Nunzio gets behind and shoves him into a Vito forearm. Nunzio covers one two NO. Tag to Vito. Axhandle to Vito. Whip, clothesline connects. Vito is very pumped over a clothesline. Scoop, walking to the corner, and slam. double pump splash one two Psi breaks it up. Tag to Nunzio, and they make a wish. Right hands to Crazy. Abdominal stretch! You're not near the ropes Nunzio! Bad ring positioning. Psicosis rallies the crowd, and Crazy tries to elbow out, but Nunzio stops it with a shot to the ribs. Whip, Crazy springboards back with a dropkick. Both men down and could use a tag. Crazy's got longer to go, but Nunzio's headed the wrong way - he's trying to stop Crazy from making a tag, but he can't. Psi in, Nunzio charges into a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster (huh? that didn't look right), and Vito charges into a bad look backdrop. Psi with a kick to the midsection and jumping enziguri. Crazy in and dragging Nunzio into position. Hey, it's the double facebuster! If only Nunzio knew how to take it. Mexicools are breaking out all the rudo double teams tonight; they need to both grab an appendage and twist next. Psi covers one two Vito breaks it up. Mexicools pound Vito and Nunzio into the corners, and they get whipped into each other (barely; timing off there too.)  Nunzio goes down, Vito does not, and is able to back elbow Psi down. Crazy slips past him and head sup, but Vito sees him the whole way and kicks him to the floor. Psi (with the timing off again - you'd think they'd be better with 4000 matches!) wheel kicks Vito in turn. Nunzio boots Psi, scoop, Psi slips behind, Psi charges into a tilt-a-whirl, but reverses it to a small package one two THREE. (4:47) Psi didn't get the reversal till he got dropped on the mat, so that was odd looking too. The good was too good to be bad, but it wasn't as good as their previous ones. 

Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 202 pounds) vs Caprice Coleman (205 pounds, already in the ring) - Romero: "Not that you care, but Jamie Noble's got excellent teeth." Jamie gets a single leg, zero count. Your ref is Charles. Lockup, no, Jamie with a drop toe hold, front facelock, Caprice tries to roll free but Jamie rolls with him, and then gets on his back to slap the back of Caprice's head a few times. Jamie orders Charles to raise his hand right now, because he's going to win anyway. Charles pushes it down. Caprice tries to get the crowd to clap, and they go along with it fairly well enough. Lockup, Caprice with a headlock, Noble with elbows to the side, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Caprice over, blocks Jamie's hiptoss and lands ones of his own. Caprice dropkick, and Jamie needs a rest period on the outside. Jamie back in, and putting up his ducks. Charles warns him, so he locks up instead, and lands a knee to the midsection. Forearms in the corner, and pulling him out with a short clothesline. Sharp kneedrop to the head one two no. Scoop and a slam. Elbow drop on the chest. One two no. Kinda a standing camel clutch. Actually, now more of a nick vice. He's hurting Caprice's head - like right now, when he's pulling him by the nose. Repeated spine kicks. Josh: "Sometimes when I'm leaving, late at night, I see Jamie Noble beating up people outside." Whip, head down too soon, Caprice grabs him in one motion, and then gets the small package in another. One two no. Josh: "Shades of Pokerface!" DRINK. Jamie kills him with a dropkick to the face. Wiping his hands clean. Fireman's carry gutbuster, dragon sleeper, this one's over. (3:15) Don't be blowing small packages with Jamie around, or he'll hurt you. He'll hurt you regardless, but whatever.

Mark Henry highlight package. (:31)

Kurt Angle/Mark Henry highlights from SD! Do you think we'll hear Daivari speak in Farsi again while he's on SmackDown!? I'm guessing no. (2:25)

Sylvan (Montreal, Quebec, CA, 250 pounds) vs Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 208 pounds) in a Royal Rumble Qualifying match - for the right to be thrown out in a mostly anonymous way. This match is so serious, Sylvan throws his coat down in the aisle. Though, he still has time to pose. Scotty walks over it, as you might think. Scotty seems especially goofy today. Goofy or bouncy. Josh: "I'm not a model, though." Got it. Circle. Your ref is - wait, who is that? Either Chad Patten came over and changed his hair or it's someone young and presumably new I completely don't recognize. Huh. Scotty ducks the first lockup, and starts the clap. Circle. Lockup, Scotty rolls under this one. Dancing. This is what happens when you give these two six minutes; they've got to kill a lot of it before they actually start wrestling. Circle. Lockup, waistlock, Scotty looking for a way out, trying to break the lock, and manages a standing switch. Sylvan tries a big swinging back elbow, but Scotty ducks it and puts on an armbar. Cranking it a bunch for comedy's sake. Twist. Sylvan throws Scotty down by his hair, but he kips up, keeping the armbar on. Sylvan backs him into the ropes, whip, clothesline is ducked, Scotty with an armdrag, armdrag, hiptoss, dropkick. Scotty pounds his chest and raises the roof. My eyes are locked with the clock. Sylvan asks for a timeout. Josh: "There's no timeouts in sports entertainment - this isn't soccer!" DRINK, Romero is oblivious and trying the same joke with modeling. Sylvan sneaks in a kick to take control. Sliding/kneeling punches to the mat - he's been working on those, because he does four and they all look the same. Kneedrop to the head. Sylvan is pumped. Working Scotty over in the corner. Josh: "I've done some local modeling in my small town, and they don't give me any timeouts." Rights. Romero says Josh is modeling for dog food, and that's just dumb. Crowd chanting for Scotty. Sylvan sends Scotty to them, with a clothesline to the outside. You know, the ref kinda looks like Brian Hebner, but that wouldn't be possible. One two no. It's not him, but someone like him? I dunno. Sylvan pounds and now he has a half cross faced chinlock or whatever. Crowd chants Scotty and gets bored, and Sylvan tries to get them back into by yelling at them. Now both me and Sylvan are staring at the clock. Scotty would be legally dead at this point if this was real. We're getting a very nice shot of Mystery Referee and I have no idea, and of course it's driving me insane. Deep South doesn't have a website but maybe it's someone from there? One arm drop, two arm drop, three-no. Scotty rallying back and the crowd is with him. Scotty back up to shi feet quick, elbowing out, and now with punches. Sylvan tires a clothesline, Scotty ducks and give shim an atomic drop. off the ropes, forearm. Clothesline, clothesline, whip, backdrop. Scotty is pumped, yet tired. Corner clothesline for Sylvan. Corner whip, reversed, Sylvan charges, Scotty moves, and Sylvan eats posts. Sylvan stumbles out, and Scotty realizes the position. Off the ropes, one handed bulldog. It's time. Crowd loud, Scotty kinda stalling. W O R M woo who woo who who OH! Sylvan pulled him neck first into the ropes. F5, ha! Josh: "A TKO-type maneuver" - so we pick Marc Mero to acknowledge? One two three. (5:47) Sylvan is too hurt to wink, but he's good enough to make I Want The Belt motions! A crazy Quebec model can dream.

That's it.