by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/SlashWrestling.com

TV14 LV entertainment open crowd outside - hey, what happened to the pre-PPV pre-Heat "special look ahead at our closing vignette" opening? 

You're (watching) live - Ohio! Columbus, Ohio! Please don't get too excited. Coach introduces you better recognize D'Lo (has gotten a permanent gig) as his tag team partner - is that an upgrade or downgrade on Mark Henry? Tonight, someone will be named KOTR, HHH vs Undertaker for Undisputed Title, and Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan. Also, Coach calls D'Lo "D" because everyone needs a nickname. Oh yes, all of this and The Rock too. Coach makes a brutal segue to

Earlier Today: Jamie Noble and Nidia pull up in a rusted and muddy truck. And then they talk and ugh. They think they're gonna win. Nidia's still got the cape. Ew, now they're kissing, please go back to talking.

D'Lo talks about the match, slipping into Nidia's accent. Here's a graphic for this match. Here's a video package for this match! You'd think masked people would have a backup mask just for these situations. (2:30) We've never seen the Hurricane this fired up. Still to come, about four more Hardy Boyz vs Raven and Steven Richards graphics!

Here's a graphic for Eddie vs Ric Flair. Here's D'Lo and Coach talking about the match. Here's Ric Flair talking to Terri about the match. "Well thank you very much Terri. I have gone on record saying I have one great run left in me. Not just one average run, but one great run. Now that won't mean a thing if I don't defeat Eddie Guerrero tonight. Eddie Guerrero has gone on record as telling that his loss of opportunity is my fault. So he and Benoit, they jump on me on RAW, they leave me laying. Now Eddie Guerrero tells the whole world that he wants to wrestle [I think it's D'Lo's voice asking for the cue right here] the sixteen time world heavyweight champion, he wants to jump on Ric Flair and end the run just like that. Well Eddie, I just want to tell you, right to your face and to the whole world I've wrestled each and everyone who comes down that road, good, bad or indifferent, Ric Flair has wrestled them all. Everyone of them wanted to make a name by saying they beat Ric Flair - I've got to prove to myself, I've got to prove to you Eddie Guerrero, I've got to prove to all the wrestling fans, that I still am WOOO a limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealing WOOO wheeling dealing, son of a gun! That I still am the Nature Boy! WOOO!" What was with Terri shaking her head no and looking at Ric like he was a crazy man at the end of that bit? Coming up next, the Return of the Rock.

Barber Get the F Out Commercial.

Rock on RAW (4:27) Moving on, here's some hype for matches we already mentioned. 

Eight Legged Freaks Book End of the Week - he just go to use that to foreshadow Rock showing up, I guess. (Otherwise, why would JR know the name?)

Who will be the KOTR? Here's the full 16 person bracket. Yep. And then the semi-finals. D'Lo's still picking Brock. D'Lo's reading ahead, I think.

Y2J at the NHL Awards. Wait, how was he there on Thursday? I have no idea how to spell hockey awards - ah, thanks graphic person. Michael Peca (Frank J. Selke Trophy Winner) talks up Jericho for the benefit of TV. Jericho and Wayne talk. Jericho talks to us. Wayne talks to us. "He's a pretty good hockey player for a wrestler." (:57) Tag Match later

Hey, that looks like Rey Mysterio in WCW rings. Let's frame by frame to see who we else can catch, in between the graphics - hmm, Scott Hall, somersault plancha out of the ring onto someone (but Charles Robinson makes the shot), here's a somersault plancha from one of the Road Wilds, I think I saw Jericho, hmm clip with his mask off (though everything here is split second quick) doing a flying legdrop, legdrop with his mask on, a dive from Halloween Havoc (his mask match vs Eddie), quebrada, corner dive using the ring post for added height, was that Syxx? Could've been Sting for all I know, another Road Wild dive, back to the somersault plancha on Jericho, missile dropkick in the ring - that looks like Dean, and we close with a montage of changing masks. "HE'S COMING" 

Coach talks about the anticipation, but for this PPV. They don't mention the vignette. Hype for Trish and Molly breaks down into a conversation about who exactly is "keeping it real."

Jerry Lawler with Molly Holly. I'll pass, unless Molly slugs him. She should've done it right there. Lawler plugs Divas Undressed - apparently Molly wasn't invited. Molly clears it up - she turned them down. Lawler insults Molly again, and Molly decides to walk off in a huff instead of doing something useful (like kicking Lawler in the sensitive regions.)

Back to hype for the two main matches. D'Lo wonders how many shots Triple H can expect to get if he doesn't win here, now that Vince controls both companies. Sure didn't seem like Vince was doing much against him on the show he already ran, so I don't see how it matters.

A Special Look Back at the Hogan/Angle - Hogan wanted to Get the F Out, but Vince wouldn't let him go home, and then Austin stole his seat on the plane, and Rock Came The F Back and perhaps I'm making up parts to entertain myself. This video clip features NO shots of Edge. (1:56)

Look at the crowd. Backstage, The Rock is here. What will he do? Fans opt for a "Rocky" chant.

KOTR has a song. It does!

Down to your announcers - Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross. Lawler does not make any predications. 

the Hardyz (w/ads but no Lita) vs Raven & Steven Richards (let's go back to RAW) - This is a significant team up, of course, because Steven called out Raven two months ago and Raven lost teeth but apparently everyone forget about it. Matt and Raven will start. Wait, no, Raven's gonna tag out and let Steven start. He's screwing with the Hardyz minds. JR says Raven "allegedly" has a high IQ. Lockup, Matt with an armbar, twist, Steven forearms out. Forearm, whip, clothesline misses, Matt off the other ropes and a clothesline. Headlock, off the ropes, off the ropes, Raven grabs a foot, Matt looks at him and gets a forearm to the back. While the ref pulls back Steven, Raven is up on the apron to snap Matt's neck on the ropes. Forearm to the back, forearm to the back, kick to the stomach, facelock, RTC arm raise, and Matt reverses to a DDT. Tag to Jeff, who flips in, under a clothesline running clothesline. Double corner whip, Poetry In Motion. JR has forgotten what's it called. Double low blow legdrop. Cover one two no. You know what would be really cool? If Raven just walked out on Steven here, and the Hardyz never get to touch him. Whip, reversed, Jeff goes over a drop down but Raven lowers the top rope and out Jeff goes. That's pretty cool in itself. Raven throws him back in as Matt argues with the ref - Steven covers, Raven yells at the ref to turn to count, one two no. Raven is unhappy they didn't get the pin. Jeff crawls to his corner. Lawler speculates that there may be bad blood between Raven and the Hardyz but isn't sure where it's from - that's because Heat doesn't matter (and Lawler can't remember back to Monday when they showed what happened on Heat last week.) Front facelock, hand raise, suplex, floatover one two no. Tag to Raven, and Steven sets him up for the second rope face driver. JR has no idea how to call that. Yanking the face and yelling at Matt. Pulling Jeff by the hair, tag to Steven, holding for a kick. Steven with a slam, and that's a full nelson version of a camel clutch. Crowd gets behind the Hardyz, and Jeff gets back up. Back elbowing out, but Steven takes him back down with a forearm to the back. Whip, clothesline misses, Steven drops down as if a trying for a monkey flip on the next pass by (I guess) while Raven comes into distract the ref, and Jeff hits the Compactor on Steven. That's probably a three but the ref is distracted by Raven, and then Matt trying to get his attention. Raven breaks it up with a sliding dropkick, then holds Jeff or Steven to kick. Steven leaves the ring, allowing Raven to hit the corner whip, rebound clothesline. JR: "The Mr. Wrestling #2 like Million Dollar Kneelift by Raven." WHOA. Raven must've tipped him off before the match. One two no. Double underhook, tag and hold so Steven can kick. Steven with a front slam, one two no. Tag to Raven, hold for a Raven punch. Raven tries to pick him up, but Jeff reverses to the Split Legged Jawbreaker. Time for a tag - and Raven makes it to Steven first. Steven grabs a leg as Jeff crawls, Jeff gets up on one foot and there's the reverse enzuiguri. Tag to Matt - clothesline for Steven, clothesline for Steven, whip, backdrop. Matt goes for Raven on the apron but Raven drops down, Steven with a right, whip, reversed, back elbow, fistdrop. Corner whip, Steven rebounds out into a powerslam. Matt points at the corner and goes to the second rope - Second Rope Legdrop, one two Raven pulls Matt out! Posted! Raven throws Matt back in and follows himself "c'mon, c'mon" kick to the gut, yell, Matt escapes, reverses to Side Effect! "High impact move by Matt Hardy." STEVENKICK! One two NO! Uh oh, that's his move! Steven can't believe it. King can't believe it. Steven looks to the aisle - RAVEN IS WALKING OUT! He's had enough! Matt taps Steven from behind, Steven misses the clothesline, Kick to the Gut, Twist Of Fate, Swanton Bomb, Matt covers one two three. (6:02) This was all quite awesome, maybe for reasons that only appeal to me. Hardyz win but don't get their revenge. Replays - someone (Coach? D'Lo?) must have fed JR the name, because he noticeably pauses then magically knows the name of the move. He does not call the StevenKick.

Hype for the Rock. Why is the Rock? Do not question the Rock.

Hype for the KOTR final, and then title match to close it out. (2:55)

That's it.

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