by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

Live, Boston, MA - fans are filling in for the Royal Rumble. Lots more in than this time last month. Looks like a big group near our hosts - Lita and Coach - who send a special shout out to the UK fans watching on Sky Sports (and do it again a couple other times this hour.) Royal Rumble is only one time a year, and the winner gets a title shot at WM. Here's our first rundown: Triple H/Steiner for the World, Benoit/Angle for the WWE (Lita mentions the tag team, so there you go), Dawn/Torrie - and let's look at a package for that. (2:17)

Earlier Today, Dawn Marie arrived - and was interviewed by SmackDown #1 announcer Funaki. "Dawn Marie, I try to offer my condolences for your loss. Al Wilson was a very charismatic man." "Thank you, Funaki." "But tonight, at the Royal Rumble, it's you, Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson. Stepmother vs Stephdaughter." "Funaki, did you happen to catch Torrie's performance at the wake? [chuckles] Those tears, please. What a little actress she turned out to be, huh? She didn't love her father - I loved her father. And Al, he loved me. That's what I know tonight, my Al-sy, he'll be watching. And that's why I'm gonna beat Torrie - I'm gonna beat her for Al. Because my Al, he died of a broken heart, and Torrie broke it, and I'll never forgive that. Never."

Lita wonders if she's watching something different. I think she just wishes she was. Lita's wearing an unusually sedate outfit (only one color!), though she makes up with it with the hair. They're talking about stuff here but I'm completely ignoring it.

Later - Spike Dudley vs Steven Richards. I guess they're not in the Rumble, because it'd be silly to wrestle twice

SmackDown Live!
Monday - Poughkeepsie, NY
Tuesday - Albany, NY [SmackDown!]
Saturday - Saskatoon, SK
Next Sunday - Regina, SK
Next Monday - Milwaukee, WI

Sean O'Haire has a NICE overcoat. That hair is messed up - he could use a comb. This is the bit from RAW, I guess. But I really could use a coat like that.

Tough Enough 3 recap. (2:37) Hey, that sounds like a good idea I should try sometime. Coach says this is the first time in three season he didn't know who was going to win, because he's a horrible liar. Cut someone online, please.

Triple H/Steiner is tonight, but that'll be the last video package. Show/Lesnar. Dudleyz/Storm/Regal for the World Tags. Angle/Benoit for the WWE. The Rumble itself. D'Lo not being in the Rumble is just more racism, I bet. Undertaker returns.

Big Show on Conan. (1:06)

War of the Monsters Jericho is REALLY REALLY DUMB of Monday

Really. They explain the rules the Rumble. Really. I don't think new people are watching at this point, so what's the need. Actually, they've changed it back to 2 minute intervals, so there you go. Show/Lesnar - video package time for that? Yes. (2:06) You'd think that if the prestige of winning the Rumble was SO IMPORTANT to Stephanie, she'd make sure both of these guys would be in irregardless. Maybe it's just an Eric thing?

Coming up in about 20 minutes, Steven/Spike.

Stacker 2 Lame Plot To Come Warning of Last Monday

Lita does her Vince voice.

During the Break, Lillian Garcia (no no the pony tail does not work for her - hey, when did this become the Heat Fashion Report?) asked Eric Bischoff (ugly - oh sorry) what he thought about what happened on Monday. "Well first of all, Lillian, as of right now, there's approximately 22 days and 2 hours. But, who's counting? Ha ha ha. You see tonight, I'm here to witness a RAW superstar win the Royal Rumble tonight. And then I'm gonna grab RAW by the throat. Oh, make no mistake about it, I'm gonna turn it inside out, upside down, every way that I can. Tomorrow night, Providence, RI, live on RAW, I am going to drop a bombshell that will be heard around the world - I can't wait!" Well I guess I don't have to watch this PPV now - the important thing is tomorrow. Must be a long week in Eric's world - 2 days longer than us on Planet Earth.

RAW X package (3:38)

RAW Live
Monday - Providence, RI [RAW]
Next Monday - Chicago, IL [RAW - not going, thanks for asking]
Next Friday - Minneapolis, MN [shouldn't this have been a SmackDown show?]
Next Saturday - New York, NY

Watch Rock on VH1's Driven - after the Rumble. Or before it if you're paying attention.

Benoit/Angle - let's get that video package. (3:03) What condition is Angle's knee in? I dunno.

Up next, Spike vs Steven

Undertaker Returns (:37)

Arena looks pretty filled at this point. Lita and Coach model the special edition Undertaker magazine.

One more look at the Rumble, and these two hand it off

Spike Dudley (Dudleyville, 150 pounds) vs Steven Richards (Philly, 235 pounds, w/Women's Champion Victoria) - your announcers are now King and JR. Miss Jackie is your special referee in this match - Eric must've made this assignment on purpose to cause trouble. Hey, actually, that would be a fine way to resolve this non-storyline of Miss Jackie refereeing - Eric puts her in a situation where it's very tempting to be biased, she falls for it, Eric revokes her license and we never do it again. Spike attacks Steven to start - right hands, snap mare, tossing him down by the hair a few times. Steven rolls out while Spike is warned, but now Spike is back out with right hands - he holds up on punching Victoria. Kick to Steven, he's thrown in but Spike's leg is grabbed by Victoria as he comes in - Steven gets an elbow drop, elbow drop. Slam. One two no. Reverse neckbreaker one two no. Right hands by Spike but Steven cuts him off with a knee. Snap mare - there's the Rat Trap. Spike battling back up, elbowing out, right hands, whip, reversed, charging headbutt to the midsection. Dudley Dog - no, Steven blocks and hits a Russian Legsweep before it can get going one two no. Steven working him with chops in the corner. Jackie yelling at Steven. Another chop. Spike with a chop. Right. Right. Steven with knees to stop him. Setting up Spike on the top rope, chop for him. Yelling superplex? No, it's blocked - facebite by Spike and Steven is pushed off. Top rope double stomp one two NO. Corner whip, reversed, and Spike goes down hard. Stomps. JR guesses that Spike might be 150-160, which he'd know already if he listened. Steven stomping Spike, Jackie pulls him hard out of the corner. While they argue, Victoria is going up, taking her belt off in the process. Spike sees her and goes to toss her off, but pauses (while holding her in tossing position - took a beat too long) - Steven charges in, Spike sides step and Steven hits a running headbutt to the groin of his partner. Victoria falls, hanging in the ring (facing out) while still having her legs hooked on the top rope. Dudley Dog, walking up Victoria's back in the process one two three. (3:41) Everyone makes faces to kill time.

Triple H/Steiner video package to send us out. (3:51)

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
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