by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

In Memory of Curt Henning "Mr. Perfect" 1958-2003 (TV 14)

Entertainment - with the shocking swerve of being followed by non-entertainment (SCSA saga of Monday, part 1). The one thing Eric did right that night was to fire JR. No, this isn't a JR bashing comment [yet] but hey, if I think this is the last day I'm going to not only work in this company, but quite possibly this industry and I hate a whole bunch of people, I'm burning every bridge on the way out. Really, he should've forced the Dudleyz into Loser Leaves Town matches and given himself a world title run and he's not going to be around to pay for fines for vulgar language so go right ahead! It's fun being evil when there are no repercussions. Fact of the matter, I don't know WHY Eric would want that job, but I don't know many things. (:49)

Christopher Nowinski (Cambridge, MA, 267 pounds) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds, w/Last Monday) - your announcers are Lita and the Coach. Lockup. Spike with a waistlock, Chris standing switch, takedown, they both take turns doing the spin around the back. Lita walks into an oral sex joke. Spike gets a headlock when they're done, Chris shoots him off, clothesline misses, Spike hits the shoulderblock. Kneedrop. Spike with a jumping headlock takedown. Coach talks about Nowinski being on "ABC News" - "I don't watch a lot of ABC News but I had to tune in for that one." I guess he's a Rather guy? Whip, reversed, Chris throws him out. Chris taking his time following up, pulling Spike to the apron, suplex - can he get him over? - ah, it was a top rope gutbuster. Coach promises news exclusive to Heat! I bet it involves Steven Richards! Running kneelift takes Spike back to the floor. Later: Lance/Regal vs Maven/Al, huge news about Lance/Regal and Jackie/Victoria! Please pretend to be excited! Forearm to the back. Crowd favors Yale. Beal. Running double leg takedown into the corner. One two no. Coach relates the exciting story of Coach on RAW. Corner whip, Chris finds nothing but an inside cradle one two no. Chris back with a kick, lift but Spike with the victory roll one two no. Lita: "And Monday night wasn't usual for you-" Coach: "That's right, I go out completely unprepared" hahahaha, oh sorry. Kick by Chris, double underhook but somehow Spike overpowers him and shoves him in the corner back first. Shoulders. Corner whip, Spike back with the head to the midsection, Dudley Dog. One two three. (3:52) Wow. Chris must SUCK.

Still to come: Lance Storm/William Regal vs Maven/Al Show

Exclusive RAW footage tonight - something between Teddy Long and D'Lo Brown, uh oh.

Chris Nowinski, who, as we just saw, can not beat Spike Dudley was at the World. So you know the caliber. Chris is disappointed that people cutting school, that's funny. Oh Maven too. Wow, look at all those empty seats. (:59)

Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds) vs Aaron Aguilera (Los Angeles, CA, 264 pounds, already in the ring) - Steven's got pink shorts to match Victoria now.  I wonder why they've gone to using about 10 local types all the sudden. Lita makes fun of Fink rolling the r on Aaron's last name. Lita also terms Steven's tights as cute. Then she goes off on a tangent about the eyebrows and the eyes, "I want to know where the nose is", that sounds familiar. Coach thinks Steven is whipped. Oh yes, the match. Steven gets control with a shoulderblock and yell. Off the ropes, hiptoss. Shoved down. Kick is caught, Steven's punches are short and Aaron hits the short clothesline. Whip, reversed, Steven slides him to the floor. Steven out to run backfirst into the apron. Chop. Thrown in. Elbow drop to the back of the neck. Lita wants us (well, Coach, but pretend you're playing the home game) to observe the build and physique of Aaron and figure out who it resembles from the WWE past - Aaron was in the Conquistador suits way back when (in a non-wrestling capacity) but I don't know if that's what she's going for. Chops by Steven and kneelift. Kneelift. Reverse neckbreaker one two no. AAAAAAAH suplex one two no. Kick, Stee Vee Tee One Two Three (2:18) Lita: "Well, the Conquistador is down and out" WHAT I wasn't expecting to be right. Coach is shocked but somehow remembers this storyline which means Lita must've filled him in

Later: William Regal/Lance Storm vs Al Show/Maven!

Later: Vince has a seizure of some sort

You know how Goldust died two weeks ago? He's still dead. Just to let you know. (:36)

This leads to Booker trying for revenge on Monday - well, first we need to get this Dreamer job out of the way - okay, here's Booker. (3:00)

Tomorrow on RAW: Triple H/Batista vs Scott Steiner/Booker

No Way Out: Triple H vs Scott Steiner for the World Title.

Next: Victoria vs Jackie

Next: Exclusive footage! Theodore Long and D'Lo Brown 

RAW Live!
Monday - Columbus, OH
Sunday - Montreal, QC
Next Monday - Toronto, ONT
Next Saturday - Reading, PA

Starburst Trish decimation of Two Weeks Ago - they do a better job of giving Trish's look this time.

WWE Woman's Champion Victoria (w/Steven Richards) vs Miss Jackie (Dallas, TX) in a non-title contest - Coach says Trish is hurt more seriously than originally thought and they have no idea when she's returning (the PPV?) Coach gives an extra special plug for Old School. Victoria goes ahead and shoves Jackie down to start the match. Corner  whip, charge into a kick one two no. Jackie with right hands, kick is caught pause pause pause pause enziguri. It took her about six hops to hit that - inside cradle one two no. Jackie with European Uppercuts (kinda), off the ropes and right into a powerslam one two no. Suplex floatover one two NO. Coach has problems with his mind wandering on the double meaning of "go at it" when talking about a possible Jazz/Victoria match. Corner whip, monkey flip by Jackie. Another one - no, Victoria moves forward before it gets going and Jackie falls behind. Must've not been right, because here's an another awkward pause before Victoria gets to elbow dropping one two no. Corner whip, Jackie rebounds out into a side backbreaker. Dropkick to the back one two no. Corner whip, rebound out into - no Jackie spins out, right, right, right, right, spin kick to the midsection. Victoria and Steven rebound on the outside, and Jackie hits a top rope plancha to the floor! That's new. Victoria thrown back in, Jackie with a kick, swinging neckbreaker. Victoria rolls away to the apron, and Steven is on it - so he's pulled in. Rights. Whip, reversed, Thesz press and punches by Jackie. Of course by the time she turns around, Victoria up - kick, Widow's Peak. One two three. (3:01) I wonder if Lita's wondering how she's going to deal with that move, having the neck injury and all. I'm wrong - Lita: "Nice ass, Victoria." (Actually, from that camera angle, she probably said "abs" but that's not nearly as funny.)

Booker T and D'Lo on Monday night - the last few seconds. We focus on Long's unhappy expression after the match. (:20)

Later that Night, RAW Exclusive Footage: Teddy Long puts his bag in the trunk of the car, and closes it before D'Lo can put in his bag. "What you doing, dawg." "D'Lo, let me tell you something, playa. You let me down out there. And the worse part about it, you didn't lose to an oppressive white boy, you lost to a sellout, that Uncle Tom, Booker T. Well let me tell you something, playa, you're gonna find out, when the man does all he can, you have to have a back up plan." And SMASH, there's someone running D'Lo into the rental. Head into the Trunk. Thrown shoulder first. Is that - well, D'Lo's getting his head smashed in the door so he won't know. Teddy shouts over the destruction that this is his new guy, though we don't get a good look at him from the front. Teddy does call him Rodney [inaudible] and dog a few times, which the captioning spells "dogg", so it sure seems like Red Dog moving on over. Teddy and Dogg take off. One more replay - Coach calls him Rodney Mack and figures for more info on RAW. Nice way to job to a car door on your way out, D'Lo.

Vince and Eric go nowhere. They skip Vince's naked butt - in fact, they clip it so Vince never took down his pants or mentioned that club, which is the way I'm sure most people prefer to remember it. (9:57) Eric knows karate.

Next: William Regal/Lance Storm vs Al Show/Maven, and a big announcement about Regal and Storm.

Stacker 2 Kane and Taker are a good tag team - hmm, I think I know what that announcement is.

No Way Out: Regal/Storm vs Kane/RVD for the World Tag Team Titles

World Tag Team Champions Lance Storm and William Regal (470 pounds) vs Maven and Al Snow (481 pounds) - see, I assumed Al was still knocked out from being run into that ring post. Coach's girl in American Idol is Julia and why do I type these things? Crowd chants USA. Regal and Al start. Lockup, AL out into an armbar, Regal tries to reverse it, Al goes to an armdrag, Regal with a kip out up, reverses to a headlock. Off the ropes, shoulderblock no Al with a hiplock, and a fireman's carry. Wristlock. Regal with a reversal out into a torn facelock. AL escapes with an armspin takedown. Armbar, tag to Maven, Maven with a right. Armbar by Maven, cranking the arm. Into a hammerlock. Regal escapes with a back elbow and tags Storm, who runs right into an armdrag. Armbar. Wristlock. Maven tries for a cobra clutch (I think) but Storm breaks free and puts on a chinlock. Maven reverse to a hammerlock. Reversed by Storm, Maven with a leg trip into an armbar. Twist. Wristlock. Al tags in, and puts on the armbar, but Storm gets in a couple knees to turn the tide. Storm signals Regal and whips Al towards Regal's boot, but Al slides short and hits a clotheslines. Storm back in control knees again. Corner whip, Al kips up and out, right for Regal, back elbow for storm, Regal cranks Snow's arm over the ropes and that sows him down. Storm quickly on the arm with an armbar takedown. Working the arm, tag to Storm. Regal gets in a shot to the ribs, knee drop to the shoulder. Lita: "Shut up Coach" Regal. Storm with right hands, armdrag takedown on the bad arm. Tag to Lance., wristlock while Storm gets in a free shot. Armbar, SAL Trying to pun free but Lance takes him down the to the mat. AL trying to break free of a wristlock but Lance keeping it on. Al trying to turn free and towards his corner but Lance shortens it up. Quiet. Very quiet. Tag to Regal. Al tries to punch away with his good hand - and he does, tag to Maven. right for Regal, right for storm. Right for Regal, right for Storm. Spinebuster - no, very slow backdrop for Regal. Dropkick on Regal one two Lance breaks it up. Al back in punching with his one good hand and taking Storm out, but Regal with a head knee to this back. Maven with right hands and a corner whip - charge and a clothesline hits. Maven to the second rope for his non-finisher, but Lance hits a swinging kick to take him off. Regal Stretch, Storm pulls Al out and that's it. (4:46)

Tomorrow on RAW: Triple H/Batista vs Scott Steiner/Booker.

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
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