by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

Your hosts are Al and Coach, who are hyped for the PPV but not each other. Tonight: Nash/Triple H. Al: "A couple weeks ago, we saw Nash literally tear Triple H a new rear" - I don't think Al knows what literally means. First Stretcher Match In Seventeen Years. IC Battle Royale. Coach and Al wonder if it could be someone could be added tonight. They're most excited for Torrie vs Sable, which we can only hype by Tale of the Tape. And here's the video package. Hey, what was Sable's point in playing all those mind games? Seems like an awful lot of work to set up Dawn and Nidia to beat her down, when she could've just done that to begin with. (1:50)

Josh to Sable: "I know this is inappropriate for me to say, but I'm really looking forward to the bikini matchup." Anyway, Sable makes the case that Torrie appeals to boys while Sable appeals to boys and men, but is so hot they'll go back into puberty.

Outside. inside. Crowd starting to file in. Coach and Al are hyped for the IC Battle Royale. Al says "what a unique way to crown a new IC champion" but does not appear to be sarcastic. They explain battle royale rules. Four way for the Women's Title - sounds like it's single elimination. Test & Scott Steiner vs La Resistance is Al's excuse to try out his French voice. Triple H vs Kevin Nash. And now for the UK Tour. (1:00) Al likes leaving the country. This segues into talk about Chavo's match - no one knows the extent of the injury, if he can wrestle, and if he will wrestle, but we're told Michael Cole will have an update later. Big Show vs Brock Lesnar. We're shown a yellow line near the beginning of the aisle - for the purpose of this match, getting the stretcher past that line wins you the match. Piper vs America - Vince is here tonight. Coach: "It's almost like Mr. McMahon is on a mission." NOOOOOOO why are they playing the Heat bumper music now? Ah, here we go

Later: Did you hear the one about Roddy Piper and the plastic leg?

After a commercial for it, Al models the Freddie Blassie bio. Al's gonna get it autographed. Coach segues into proper highlights from RAW. Didn't they do the same exact thing with Moolah? Well except for Austin and the Dudleys and all that. (2:34) Non-segue to the IC Title. Coach hypes it up - here's the video package from when we were saying goodbye to it. No, they haven't taken out Jarrett. But then there's Chyna beating Jarrett too. (2:06)

Backstage, Eric is walking...when he spots a familiar face talking. Oh, he's interested in Chief Morely and not Brooklyn Brawler. Eric reminds Morely he fired him. Morely says he's here for the IC Battle Royale. Eric says "Chief Morely wasn't IC Champion!" The rest of the world rolls it's eyes and tries to figure out exactly how many times they've brought back Val Venis now, and how many minutes before it gets stale again.

Tonight: the Hurricane vs Steven Richards. I was wondering if we were getting one of these this month.

Stacker 2 Non-Hardcore Match of Last Monday since there aren't any hardcore matches on RAW anymore.

This leads to Fatal 4 Way hype. And

Terri talks to Teddy Long and WWE Women's Champion Jazz. "So, Teddy Long, let me-" "Hold on baby girl, the name is Theodore R. Long, don't be haterizing." "Ah, okay, Theodroe R. Long, is tonight's Fatal 4 Way another attempt by 'the Man' to keep you down." "Most definitely, on the [can't make out]. You know, you pretty smart for a white girl. But let me explain something to you - now tonight, right here on Judgment Day, the Man has put my girl Jazz, the WWE Women's Champ, in the ring, which means she can lose her title by not even getting pinned. Now you know that's straight up haterazation. Let me tell you something, here's what's going happen, Jazz is gonna be thuggin' and buggin' just a little bit harder, because we gonna send a message to Whitey tonight, and what is that girl?" "I said it once, and I'll say it again, the bi[bleep]ch is back." "And most of all, the bi[bleep]ch is black, you feel me?" And they walk off.

Al and Coach debate whom is more black. On to Triple H/Nash. (3:12)

Earlier today - ah, Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels can walk.

Still to come, Al's favorite superhero and Steven Richards.

Next, Rowdy Roddy Prosthesis

RAW Live
Monday - Greenville, SC
Friday - Bossier City, LA
Saturday - Baton Rouge, LA
Next Sunday - New Orleans, LA
Next Monday - Mobile, AB

Back live, Al is easily distracted. Coach's PPV hype spiel is pretty boring. They hand if off..

Tazz and Cole are hyped for America/Piper. Tazz: "First time these two have faced each other...ahem."

2 Weeks Ago, Mr. America visited a Military Hospital.

This leads to "shocking and disturbing footage" but apparently not enough of either for them not to show it. (3:53) Does this make you want to watch Piper vs America? God they hope so. Also, the ladder match.

Earlier today, Josh talked to Team Angle. "Team Angle, I can see you're not with your WWE Tag Team Championship Belts, because they are suspended high above the ring in anticipation of your ladder match, originally scheduled for Los Guerreros, but of course, Chavo was injured on the SmackDown! WWE Tour De Force in the UK." "We know all about Chavo's injury. Why? Because we're the one who caused it." "The way we see it - that leaves Eddie Guerrero with two choices. One, he can face Team Angle in a handicap match. Or two, he can forfeit the match altogether. It's just that simple." We fade to black but Cole still gets out: "Well, what's Eddie Guerrero going to do?" Hey, maybe you should've just asked HIM?

1-800-CALL-ATT Shelton gets framed of Thursday

Cole gets in his chance to wonder about the ladder match - they figure 2 on 1 or forfeit, so neither is happening.

the Hurricane (215 pounds) vs Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds) - the King and JR are your hosts for this match. No Victoria. Lockup, armbar by Hurricane, twist, twist, into a headlock. Steven forces Hurricane into the corner. Steven with a right, but it's blocked, Hurricane turns the tide in the corner and hits his own right. Corner punches don't get started - Steven lifts him off and starts moving, but Hurricane slips down into a sunset flip one two no. JR talks about Hurricane being from this area when he clearly had no location specified in his entrance. Hurricane with a forearm, corner whip, reversed, Hurricane goes for the kip up headscissors, Steven pushes him to the apron and hits a rope snap jawbreaker. Hurricane brought in, kneelifts, aaaaaaaaaaaaaah suplex works! one two no. Knee to the back, knee to the back, knee to the back. Kneeling surfboard. Hurricane standing up out of after a second, but Steven gets a kick. Off the ropes, but right into a Hurricane jumping clothesline, jumping clothesline. JR's calling him Hurricane Helms again. Inverted atomic drop. Inverted face crusher is a modified back breaker to JR. Hurricane going to the top rope - cross body one two no. Eye of the Hurricane? Takes too long, and Steven escapes into a waistlock. Forearm to the back, rope bounce rollup is blocked by Hurricane grabbing the ropes. Shining Wizard connects (JR: "Shades of the Great Muta") one two three. (2:57) Replay.

First Stretcher Match In The Last 17 Years gets last hype. There's that yellow line. You know, if Show had a smart manager, he'd just pick up and move that yellow as necessary. Does it have to get to the line or past the line? Ah they'll make it up as it goes on.

From Backlash to this past Thursday with the Big Show. And the back two after Backlash with their talking. Oh wow "highlights" from Andre/Khan (still no relation). Apparently this music is The Evil. Brock's a big moron if he loses because Big Show is too big, because he picked this match. (2:46)

Moments Ago, Brock Lesnar has arrived - but Big Show watches him from a shadowy place.

That's it.

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
of his overly detailed rambling reports at www.thecubsfan.com 

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