by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

wow, TWO ads for Heat on TNN before the show

tv pg dv cc entertainment

Earlier Today: Steven Richards talked to Victoria in the locker room - "Oh flower, isn't this great? Two victories, two main events, Stevie Night Heat, and tonight, the third week of Stevie Night Heat, I'm gonna wrestle, I'm gonna entertain the fans, as a matter of fact, where is, where is that intern? Hey, Ross, come here for a second. When am I on tonight?" Ross the Stage Hand scans his format sheet: "You're not wrestling tonight, Steven." "What?" "You're not on." Steven slaps the papers out of his hands (har har) and starts scaring away the intern with yelling: "What are you talking about? Huh? You're fired! Get out of here! [Goldust slips in the room behind Steven and Victoria - Ross exits] Pack your stuff! Who is crazy enough to take my spot?" "[mocking] 'Who is crazy enough to take my spot?' What are you whining about now?" "You." "What?" "You took my match on my show. Yes! Yes, you!" "Steven, I think you just need to calm down a little bit, you're acting wacky [spazzing out to say Whacko and Wacking Off and then back to normal] - you're off tonight? Give you a kiss [Victoria recoils and Goldust spazzes out of the room.]

open fireworks

Goldust (Hollywood, CA, 260 pounds) vs Mike Phoenix (already in the ring) - Al says it's summer and he's tan. Coach points out he's more tan. Your announcers are Al and Coach and they do the live shot right over Mike's (I think) introduction. We don't get a lockup before Steven Richards is out - to the booth. He successfully distracts Goldust then starts ranting about having brought in this guy to wrestle him, and Goldust stealing the match. Goldust manages a clothesline to turn around the match, then an inverted atomic drop, spaz, thrust uppercut. This match is tough to call if they're going back to Steven every fifteen seconds. And could someone get him a headset? There's a rebound bulldog. Steven promises it's his show and his rules but I can barely hear him - the guy taunting Steven at ringside is a lot louder than he is. Mike manages an eye poke in the corner, but charges out right into the Director's Cut one two three. (1:18) Steven rushes the ring - StevieKick! Wow, Steven with a successful run-in. Oh no he's going to try and push it here, setting up Goldust in the corner for the Golden Globes (or it's back to the Shattered Dreams now, I guess). Steven taunts the fans - and the kick connects! Wow. Steven had a plan and it actually worked. Maybe this really is his show. Replay. Steven takes time to yell at the announcers on his way back up to the ring.

Tonight: Rodney Mack and Rosey vs the Dudley Boyz
Later: Did Kane appear on RAW?

Burger King new Woman's Champion of Monday. They make Jazz's departure look like an angle here, so it is now. I think we're gonna figure out later that Jazz simply had to lose the title, and by doing as little as possible, but it still doesn't make sense to give it to someone on their first night in.

Garrison Cade (San Antonio, TX, 263 pounds) vs Mike Noe (220 pounds, Worchester, MA, already in the ring) - They talk over this guys name too, argh. Circle. Lockup. Noe manages an armdrag takeover and pose. Lockup, armdrag by Noe again. He's happy with himself. Lockup, Noe tries for an armdrag but Cade blocks it this time, and then hits his own. Another, there's a dropkick to knock him out of the ring. Cade wants to rush after him, but the ropes stop him. Darn tricky ropes. Noe takes his time getting back in, stopping to have a conversation with Charles Robinson - Cadre brings him in by his arm. Arm wring. Forearm to the shoulder, forearm to the shoulder, armbar. Crank, then an reverse armbar takedown. Cover one two no. Cade's got more of an elbow lock in now. Every on to their feet, armbar, into a hammerlock. Noe gets the ropes. Noe with a back elbow to escape, then a nice leaping forearm to Cade's face. Kicks in the corner, boot choke. Elbow to the head. Talking about RVD vs HHH and RVD helping set up the mask match. Al: "RVD, the impetus, so to speak, and that's a twenty dollar word for you, Coach." Coach: "I was going to say, that's a thirty dollar word for you." Al: "Well, it's a forty dollar word for Ernest the Cat, so." Coach: "ha ha ha" Turnbuckle smash. Cade fights back with kicks out of the corner. Cade goes for a forearm but takes an eye poke. Noe off the ropes, missile shoulderblock one two no. Noe going up. Taking far too long - top rope elbow drop misses. Noe misses a right, Cade with the right jab, right jab, right jab, off the ropes right. Al's been calling the punches. Coach: "If you don't mind, I'm going to run to the restroom and you can call the whole match yourself, how about that?" "I'm sure the fans watching would like that." Cade with a whip, reversed, Noe head down too soon, Cade leaps over, off the ropes with the Reverse Bulldog one two three. (3:47) Al called that like it was a finisher so maybe it is? Good enough for me.

Tonight: Rodney Mack and Rosey vs the Dudley Boyz
Next: Scott Steiner and Stacy vs Test and Chris Jericho

Wow, it's like the whole match. (5:16) They hope to see Stacy on RAW, but Scott will definitely on RAW.

Tonight: Rodney Mack and Rosey vs the Dudley Boyz
Next: Val Venis

JVC non-new IC Champion of Last Monday

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 242 pounds) vs Mike Bell (already in the ring) - Al: "Coach, your favorite WWE superstar." "I make no bones about it - Val Venis epitomizes what life is all about! The Big Valbowski epitomizes how you should live your life, how you should go about your day IN, day OUT, minute IN, minute OUT." "Walking around in just a bath towel?" "You know what I'm talking about. Don't ruin my moment with the Big Valbowski." I think Val needs to look into restraining orders. In angle that you don't care about news, Val's movie production business is getting up and running. Oh no he's going to talk "Hello, ladies. You know something ladies, the Big Valbowski is a lot like golf. You grab the shaft with both hands. Grip firmly, but gently. And you gotta know that it's all in the hips. Keep your eyes on your balls, perfect your stroke, and remember, when you're playing with the Big Valbowski, around the rim is as good as a hole in one." While AL causes Coach to lose what's left of his mind, Val will start with a waistlock takedown and a front facelock. Bell forces him into the corner. While Josh called Mike Bell "a journeyman" last night, Coach thinks he's a "youngster". And he has moxie. Val fighting out of the corner with right hands. Whip, back elbow, elbow drop. Al says "human game of chess" while Val does his running knees. Reverse neckbreaker. Val does his little dance. Bell pushed in the corner, chop, chop, right, corner whip, reversed, and Val goes down. Not the first time, I'm sure. Bell with a suplex, one two no. Bell with a right, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Val with a corner clothesline, chop, chop, chop, corner whip, Bell rebounds out and takes a clothesline. Val with a back elbow, whip, reversed, Val with a big shoulderblock. Val calls Bell on - half nelson suplex? That's new. It's time already - Money Shot. One two three. (2:29) See, the match is 2 minutes so we have time for the talking and the towel giving. Al tells Coach not to stand up and ask for the towel. Coach says he's not standing up. Al says he knows why he's standing up.

Next: RVD vs Triple H for the World Title

RAW Live
Monday - Montreal, QC [RAW]
Friday - Omaha, NE [RAW]
Saturday - Green Bay, WI
Next Sunday - Terre Haute, IN
Next Monday - Indianapolis, IN

WM Rewind: Jake the Snake (w/Alice Cooper) vs Honky Tonk Man (w/Jimmy Hart), WrestleMania III. Alice Cooper is awful skinny looking.

Al and Coach talk about no one being safe on RAW - not even Triple H

Video Package of the main event. So unlike Eric to be concerned about a DQ run-in main event. Speaking of WCW, is the fourth Evolution member going to become "Will DDP join the Wolfpac" or was that just a one night thing where they wanted four? I mean I know the rumor but I haven't seen any of the storyline. Video effects to make Kane look scary. It looks more like funhouse mirrors gone bad. (3:32)

Rodney Mack & Rosey (w/Christopher Nowinski and Theodore Long) vs the Dudley Boyz (New York City, 523 pounds) - lookat Chris semi-dance to Rodney's music, that's a bit worrisome. Back to Last Month (06/08) where Chris and Rodney were on the verge of a mask aided win over Spike and Tommy when the other Dudleyz interfered. I like Rodney's new music better, although the old one should be used someone better. Coach says I should be spelling it "dat". "Let me holla at you, playa. You know, I'm out here for one thing, and that is to send a message to Whitey, believe dat. And that message is, Rosey, tonight, you will get the opportunity to earn you playas card, BAM [Teddy pulls a credit card out from nowhere and shows it to Rosey right as he says that, cracking up the announcers] believe dat. So I know you're going to show everyone just how tough you really are. And I know that you're going to prove to me that you're ready to back the Mack, believe dat playa. Well, I got one thing to say, it's off the hizzle for shizzle, and it's thuggin' and buggin' time, now get them out here, playa'." Coach is sad he has no Playas Card. Did Fink never give out weight? Maybe we missed it watching the clips? Wait, New York City? Maybe they were evicted. Break before the match? That's...odd.

Match is already going when we return - D-Von and Mack in, with D-Von forearming out of headlock but stopped with a knee. Whip, reversed, Rodney with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, taking D-Von's jumping clothesline. Forearm looks odd too. D-Von with a dropkick! Armdrag, followup? Uh, cover one two no. Rodney with a clubbing clothesline that looks a little off too. Tag to Rosey as we get an ECW chant. Rosey with a forearm, forearm. Whip, head down too soon, D-Von kicks it, makes the tag to Bubba. They lockup, no one gets the advantage, into a Bubba headlock. Bubba shot off, shoulderblock but Rosey ain't going down. Bubba tries clothesline, Rosey ducks, both off the ropes, both try a cross body and that's what a car crash looks like, wow. Rosey is the first one able to get up - opts not for a tag. Forearm to Bubba's back. Slam. Elbow drop but no one's home. Bubba waits for Rosey to get up - Flip Flop N Fly, no Rosey clotheslines Bubba while he was grabbing his crotch. Turnbuckle smash. Al is getting on Rosey for not making the tag out to Mack here, figuring that Rosey wants to impress Theodore but taking a risk. Corner whip, Rosey charges into a boot. Bubba to the second rope - cross body! One two NO. Bubba will put on an armbar once Rosey gets around to feeding him the arm. Tag to D-Von. Double whip, double shoulderblock doesn't work. Rosey misses the double clothesline and they both pull him down by his hair. Cover one two no. D-von with a right, Jamal with a eye gouge. Corner whip, Rosey charges into a back elbow, back elbow for Mack, right for Rosey, right, right, off the ropes, tripped up by Chris, Rosey off the ropes with the twisting legdrop - Al insists that it's a corkscrew legdrop and I shouldn't argue. Mack tagged in for the first time in a while - elbow smashes to D-Von's head. One two no. Chinlock. D-Von fights out of it after about 20 seconds, off the ropes and right into a knee. One two no. Back to the chinlock. This one goes a bit longer. Weak Goldberg chant. D-Von fights out, right for Rosey, turns back to Mack and walks into the spinebuster slam. D-Von twitches, Mack covers one two Bubba breaks it up. Tag to Rosey, stomp, stomp, stomp. Stomp. Oh no he's going up. Second rope, arm signal for the fans, pump splash meets knees. D-Von needs to make the tag. Tag to Bubba. Shoulderblock for Mack (in without a tag), clothesline for Mack. Whip, back elbow, corner smash for Rosey, side slam for Mack. Rosey charge out, misses the clothesline and Bubba hit the reverse neckbreaker one two kickout. Mack with a forearm, whip, quick reverse by Bubba, Low Down-esque powerbomb - and a standing figure four? I guess, Rosey breaks it up before any of us really have to call it. Whip by Rosey, head down too soon, Bubba with a forearm to the back. Bubba trying for a suplex, but it's blocked. D-Von over - double suplex one two Mack tries to break it up but he gets Rosey with the elbow drop instead. Bubba with a slam for Mack, ref is distracted, there's the Whassup. Bubba starts to ask D-Von, turns around, and misses Rosey taking down D-Von with a spinebuster. Bubba walks right into a Samoan Drop. Chris gets D-Von and holds him for Rosey - Rosey charges with a punch, D-Von moves, and Rosey stops just in time. Rosey yells at Chris, Chris begs off, and Rosey turns around - right into the 3D. Chris thinks about getting involved but D-Von scares him off one two three (7:34) Theodore Long can't figure out what just happened. Long seems to be unhappy but they don't act on it, at least tonight.

That's it.

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
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