by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

We're in Hershey, PA, so let the chocolate jokes roll. We are "Sold Out" for Unforgiven, and your hosts are - back inside? (Coach: "As always", right.) I guess it's not hot enough. Your announcers are Al, Coach, and Coach's backwards hat. They barely hold back talking about their match, because they have other ones to hype first. Like: Triple H vs Goldberg, HBK vs Randy Orton, Shane vs Kane. Also: JR and the King vs Coach and Al Snow. Coach: "The last time, tonight, you're going to see King and JR do anything on RAW." Oh, THAT gets the video package treatment to start off. Editing takes out Coach's elbow drop! How wrong. How very wrong. Coach and Eric get last word. (2:23) We come back to be treated to Al's King impersonation and Coach's JR impersonation - they have no idea what they're going to do when they lose. Nearby fans are booing them

Later: Maven vs Steven Richard and Victoria in a battle for the heart and soul of Heat (or maybe not)

Backstage, Christian - has gotten a flower bouquet from his #1 peeps? Not sure what that is about, as Christian is talking with Chris Jericho - Jericho didn't change his phone number, he's just not been picking up Christian's (18) calls this week. Christian is all about apologizing for hitting Jericho with that belt, that's not how he does things - it's not his style to do something like that, he deals with problems face to face. Jericho says it's all water under the bridge. He seems to have Stone Cold on the mind - if Austin wants to make a stand by putting RVD in this match, then they should take RVD out of the match first. Christian agrees. "Let the best man win", although a problem comes up when they have differing opinions on which person is the best man. They agree on killing RVD but go back to their debate as they walk out of frame. So, did Jericho give him the flowers? They didn't make it clear.

Fans boo as we come back to Al and Coach (as Al and Coach), who discuss that match. Here's a graphic for those unclear on the concept. Moving on: Test vs Scott Steiner with slavery on the line.

Suffocate by Cold takes us through this long long long never ending feud. (2:14) Coach awkwardly segues to hype of

Next: Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mick Foley on the Jimmy Kimmel Show

The Rock is on the cover of GQ! Al's going to watch his movie! I guess he got over it. The Rock will be on RAW! from the Red Carpet at his Hollywood premier. So that'll be a good waste of 4 minutes.

Jimmy Kimmel Live with Mick Foley (1:00)

Tonight: Maven vs Steven Richards

Soul Caliber Lita shows off her new handsignal

In the locker room, Gail Kim complains about the Trish home video and Lita book (available soon) and no Molly home video or Gail book. Molly agrees, but people will be talking about how they beat Trish and Lita after tonight. They get to talking about strategy, but who wants to hear that sorta thing.

Coach and Al talk about the match. Here's the graphic. She loooooves that hand signal. Moving on: HBK vs RKO. (1:18) They lamely segue to WMXX tickets hype. It's their trademark!

Backstage, Maven looks for Shawn Michaels. Ah, there we go. "What's going on? Not that you it, but I just want luck and Randy." "Well, I appreciate it. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. Stubborn son of a gun. The Legend Killer. You know Maven, it's been my experience, you don't tell legends when to leave - they leave when they want to leave." "Good luck - I'll get you, I'll get up with you later."

RAW Live
Monday - Washington, DC [RAW]
Friday - Fargo, ND
Saturday - Bismarck, ND
Sunday - Peoria, IL
Next Monday - Chicago, IL

Y2J Stinger attempted murder of Spike Dudley of two weeks ago

Backstage (sure am typing that a lot), Eric Bischoff catches up with La Resistance and Rob Conway. Bad News: Eric can't let the tables match happened after what happened to Spike. "Gotcha!" Spike can't be here, so it's a handicap match now. After celebration, Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up to give the real bad news: the tag team titles are on the line. Rene wonders if he can really do that, but he can.

Al and Coach aren't happy with Austin's decision mostly based on the fact that it's Austin's decision. What haven't we hyped yet? Shane vs Kane it is (2:30) Rules of the Last Man Standing rules. 

Up Next: Maven vs Steven Richards

Enemy by Sevendust is the official theme song of Unforgiven

Your Unforgiven announce team is JR and the King. Coach says this is the last time they're announcing anything. Al suggests they start a new tradition on Monday, with new outfits - Al can be a Viking and Coach can be a Pimp. Coach actually says yes to this, but I think he's lost in the moment. 

Jericho vs Christian (c) vs RVD for the IC Title
Legend vs Legend Killer: Shawn Michaels vs Randy Orton
2 on 3 Handicap Table Match: the Dudleyz vs La Resistance and Rob Conway for the World Tags
Winner Announces Raw: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Coach and Al Snow
Trish Stratus and Lita vs Women's Champion Molly Holly and Gail Kim
Scott Steiner vs Test (w/Stacy Keibler) with Stacy and Scott on the Line
Last Man Standing: Shane McMahon vs Kane
Triple H vs Goldberg, World Title vs Career

JR and King cut these two off because they desperately want to call this match:

Heat GM Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds, w/Victoria) vs Maven (Charlottesville, VA, 235 pounds) - Lawler's getting out all his bad jokes early, I guess. JR says Tough Enough, and then mentions "Stevie Night Heat." Circle. Lockup, Steven forces Maven into the corner, shove. Lawler says this PPV is as big a PPV for them as any. Circle. Maven with a headlock, Steven with elbows, shot off, and back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, under - no, Maven stops and clotheslines Steven when he comes back down to earth. Physically, anyway. Maven with a whip, reversed, Steven misses a clothesline, Maven with a fireman's carry, dropkick and Steven is out to take a break. Maven gets tired of waiting and chased Steven around the ring, back in - nope, Victoria grabs a leg and Steven hits a sliding dropkick to Maven. Steven explains what happened to Jack Doan while Victoria goes to the apron - somersault slingshot legdrop, one two NO! Victoria was awful happy that her move was going to win the match and is focused that it didn't. Reverse neckbreaker. One two no. Replay of the legdrop. Stomp. Choke on the second rope, running sit. JR calls it "Spike Television", but then recovers to mention Steven taking over the show. Maven with a right, right, Steven stops that with a knee, weird snap mare (Maven was facing the wrong way), full nelson - hey, he brought back the Rat Trap! The only person in microphone range who's calling the name of this move is Victoria, by the way. She's thrilled, though. Maven drawing, up to his feet, back elbow, back elbow, Steven with forearms to the back to stop him. Around into a front facelock, YAAAAAAAAAA suplex is reversed by Maven. That all went over JR's head. Both down. One two three four five Steven up - but Maven's gonna win the punch battle. Clothesline, clothesline, whip, back elbow, he's pumped. Whip, reversed, Steven tries a dropkick but Maven has the ropes. Maven off the ropes, spinning back elbow one two no. Maven with a corner whip, charge in but Steven gets a back elbow. Steven charges out into a wheel kick one two NO. Steven with an eye poke, whip, Steven with a hiptoss, it's blocked and Maven his a reverse neckbreaker. Maven is done with this - he's going up. Victoria grabs a leg but she's kicked down - missile dropkick but Steven moves out of the way! Steven covers, one two NO! Did Maven hurt his left arm? Selling it awful well if he didn't. Victoria yells for the SteeVeeTee, so he goes for it - and Maven reverses it into a suplex. Maven to the second rope - that's probably the worst looking second rope DDT (JR: "neckbreaker") so far, because Steven comes down on one knee - one two three. (5:12)

Triple H/Goldberg to close it out. (3:50)

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
of his overly detailed rambling reports at www.thecubsfan.com 

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