WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT RECAP
Gail Kim: WWE's Hottest $2 Steak
November 24, 2003

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Steve Austin says good bye. (1:18)

open fireworks. Coach sings Boyz II Men - a little: "'It's so hard to say goodbye - but not really this week! Oh ho ho!"

Rosey and the Hurricane (560 pounds) vs Jeremy Lopez & Michael Koch (471 pounds, already in the ring) - Hey! Black Tigers! You know, one of these days, WWE is going to randomly team up two guys who work for different Japanese promotions, thus causing problems no one in the company will ever realize. Your announcers are Al and Coach - even Al doesn't believe Coach's neck is really hurting. Coach: "Austin tried to take me out, couldn't get the job down..." AL: "Tried to take you out? He WHOOPED YOUR ASS!" Circle, Hurricane and Lopez to start this up. Lopez with an armbars, twist, twist, Hurricane forward rolls and kips up into a reversal. Into a wristlock. Your ref is Mike Choida. Lopez reverses to an armdrag takedown, kneeling armbar, up into an armbar. Because they are already bored and didn't notice the graphic earlier, Al and Coach have decided that Hurricane and Rosey are wrestling "the flying Babagabootch brothers". Hurricane escapes to a top wristlock, snap mare, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Coach: "Did you see me with the Hurricane and Rosey on RAW this part Monday night?" Pose - no, Jeremy sweeps the leg from the mat! Lopez Hurripose! Whip, Lopez's clothesline is caught, kick by Hurricane, straight jacket Edge-O-Matic one two NO. Jeremy retreats to his corner, and opts for the tag to Koch. Koch is tall, so Hurricane decides Rosey should come in. If the crowd wants to see him. Unfortunately, Michael pulls him back when he goes for the tag - short clothesline is ducked under, right, right, whip, reversed, Hurricane ducks under a clothesline, blind tag by Rosey, Koch puts his head down too soon and it's kicked, Rosey levels Koch with a clothesline. Right, right, open hand slap, chop. Corner whip, reversed, Koch with a big corner clothesline. Open hand slap. Choke. Corner whip, charge in, Rosey moves out of the way, Koch goes into the corner by himself. Whip, reversed, and Rosey runs him down with a shoulderblock. Stomp. Tag to Hurricane, who goes up. Second rope legdrop - he's not Matt Hardy. Hurricane calls for the Shining Wizard, but notices Lopez trying to clothesline him from the apron. Clothesline is ducked, and Hurricane hits a springboard leaping lariat to take Lopez to the floor. Waiting for Koch to get up again - Koch swings, Hurricane ducks and punches many times, but Koch stops that with forearm to the upper back. Hurricane is thrown out, and Lopez is waiting for him with a nice dropkick. Coach has now spent more time talking about the vignette with Hurricane and Rosey than the vignette actually lasted. Hurricane thrown in. Forearm to the back, tag to Lopez. Lopez with a snap mare, dropkick to the back. Stomps. Coach is going on about how Gail Kim wants Coach. Coach is doing a lot of work to get the Coach over, and little work on anything else. Lopez with the Camel Clutch, but Hurricane is rolling out. To his feet, then dropping down to grab Lopez in a bodyscissors rollup one two no. Lopez with a kick, corner whip, charge into a back elbow. Hurricane out, right into a quick powerslam. No cover, tag to Koch. Coach uses the "these [non-WWE people] are giving [WWE people] much more of a fight than they were expecting!!!" cliché. I ought to make a numbered list of those, so I could say "Coach has used the #6, #8 and #10 here" and everyone would be confused. Long hanging suplex gives me time to ramble there. Elbow drop follow up misses, so I guess all that hanging didn't mean much. Can he tag Rosey? Yes. Clothesline for Koch. Lopez is thrown in (why?) Clothesline for Koch, whip, side slam for Lopez. Koch with right hands, whip, reversed into a Samoan Drop. Calling for it - it's the spinning legdrop one two Lopez breaks it up. Lopez telling everyone it's not over, then he realizes he's alone versus Rosey. Yelling charge and jump gets caught, and Rosey runs him into Koch in the corner before tossing him to the mat. Koch falls to his knees, so it's Shining Wizard time. Rosey to the second rope? Meaniesault one two three. (6:14) That was a moonsault, but not a particularly great one. Even though he was ahead, it was no surprise that Koch couldn't finish.

Tonight: Trish Stratus vs Gail Kim

Jon Heindenreich (New Orleans, LO, 275 pounds) vs Jared Steele (238? pounds, already in the ring) - Coach says that Jon is the newest RAW guy, then he remembers (or someone yells in his earpiece) Matt Hardy (Version One) showed up Monday. Those are the kinda of things that are important to remember if you're trying to get over the talent and not yourself, but I'm all about the Coach hating today. Coach: "No one knows to this day who Little Johnny is" except maybe TRISH you moron. Lockup, Jared pushed off into the ropes, and rebounds back into the lockup. Repeat, though this time Jared goes for waistlock, into a headlock, into a hammerlock, reversed, Jared looking for a way out and chooses a back elbow, which gets him forearmed down. Stomp. Whip, clothesline misses, Jared with a dropkick to the knee. Jared off the ropes, big boot to the head. Right. Turnbuckle smash. Shoulder to the midsection, shoulder, corner whip - no, Jon's doing a side slam, one twp no. Talking about RAW Roulette for those who didn't see it/don't remember it (here's where they should do video packages), Al remembers that he faced (and beat) Test in a Hardcore match, but his favorite part was the Las Vegas Showgirl match between William Regal and Goldust. Elevated bearhug. Jared fighting out with forearms, off the ropes, jumping right into the bearhug, then Jon drops him for a spinebuster one two no. Back to the bearhug. Coach, who is in charge of the RAW Roulette preparations, promises that he's flying showgirls in from Las Vegas. This time, Jared bits his way out, but still has no better idea but to charge and jump Jon. Jon catches him and runs him into the corner this time. Kick. Scoop slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop but Jared moves. Jon is up first and Jared is still down, so Jon thinks there's absolutely no way he could roll out of the way from another one. Jon's an idiot. Jared pulls himself up in the corner, and Jon continues the trend by charging at Jared, thinking there's no way Jared will move on him three times in a row. Yep. As Jon rebounds into the middle of the ring, Jared tries to knock him down with running jumping forearms. First two hit but don't knock him down. Third one gets caught into a swinging side slam one two three. (3:06) That was just about as you'd expect.

Tonight: Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus
Next: Matt has a question for Lita, but Al and Coach already gave this away.

Lugz Molly retrains the title
Coach mocks Lita
Lita on the Highlight Reel. They've ditched the Matt Facts, surely. And then a match. (7:56)

Tonight: Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

Stills from Shane/Kane (:58)

Maven (no hometown now?, 225 pounds) vs Masada (220 pounds, already in the ring) - Maven lost some weight too - he's a cruiserweight eligible. This is the Georgia based Masada, not the guy who keeps losing hair/hair matches (which you probably could tell from that long pony tail.) He's got really long shorts too. So long they shouldn't be shorts but not long enough to be pants. Circle. Lockup. Maven ends up with a hammerlock around into a snap mare, pulling Masada back into a front facelock. Masada reverse to a hammerlock, Maven goes down to put on a drop toe hold, float around into a side headlock and back to their feet. Masada trying to punch his way out, shot off into the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, quick stop, waiting for Masada to turn around and - headlock. Coach says Maven says he's going to be more aggressive from here on out. Masada out and pushing Maven down, elbow drop misses. Headlock by Maven. Al: "[Maven]'s got the skills, and lord knows he's got the best teacher in wrestling." "Yea, Tazz was fantastic!" "Ahahaha, keep that up and you're going to need a neck brace for real." Maven shot off, under, kick, HEADLOCK. Okay he's totally doing on purpose now. Masada manages to walk Maven into the corner for a break. Clean? No, Masada with punches. Crowd is loud for Maven? 'kay. Maven turns it around in the corner and punches. Al continues to threaten violence towards Coach. Coach: "Hey, hey, hey, I'm sorry I said that about Tazz. Jacqueline was great!" Goatee-beal. Masada with a kick, off the ropes, clothesline, one two no. Maven with right, Masada with a forearm, reverse neckbreaker. Masada takes a second before following up, and Maven is quick up - diving clothesline takes them both down and now he's raining in punches. Whip, Maven tries dropkick but Masada has the ropes. Chinlock. All the way down to the mat. Back elbows out, off the ropes, sunset flip one two no. Masada up first and Maven gets clotheslined. Masada takes a look at Maven, then picks him back up for a snap mare, chinlock. Maven rallying back up, elbow, right, right, whip, head down too soon and kicked in the head. Masada back off the ropes, and they both hit clotheslines. Both down, one two three four five Masada up and punching first. Maven kicking back out, rights, whip, backdrop. Off the ropes, big clothesline. Corner whip, Maven nails him with a wheel kick on the rebound. Maven to the second rope, waiting, second rope DDT one two three (4:34)

Next: It's Kane.

RAW Live
Monday - Salt Lake City, UT [RAW]
Friday - Las Vegas, NV
Saturday - San Francisco, CA
Sunday - Bakersfield, CA
Next Monday - Sacramento, CA [RAW]

Al and Coach explain that Eric was in charge on Monday. Al: "It's party time!"

Goldberg has fun on RAW (1:37)

Tomorrow: Goldberg (c) vs Triple H for the World Title. Al: "The sure bet is on the Game, Triple H!"

Next: Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

T3 Orton saves the match for RVD

Gail Kim (no weight, no hometown) vs Trish Stratus (Toronto, ON, and a kiss from RAW) - Coach and Al debate if Jericho is "cool" or if he's ascended "cool" for even higher ground. Gail retaliates the inequality in hometown mentions by attacking Trish from behind and we're off. Choke with Trish's coat! Coat mare, and the choke back on. Gail reluctantly gets rid of the coat to do a normal choke. Pose. Charge into the corner and punching. Choke. Whip, reversed, and Trish knocks her down with a Thesz Press. Punches in bunches. Dropkick, one two NO. Chop. Chop. CHOP. Mocking Gail? CHOP. Coach: "I don't think Gail is jealous of Trish, because Gail has me." Whip, reversed, Trish back with a jumping clothesline one two no. Gail with a clothesline, Trish bends underneath, so Gail does a jumping sit on Trish's midsection! Yowch. Stomps. Right. Whip, scary spin side slam one two no. Forearms to the back. Bow and Arrow? Yes, except Trish's legs are really hooked at all. The thought is appreciated. Gail's shoulders are down but Jack Doan hasn't counted yet. Now he notices and lets Gail know, and the distraction is enough for Trish to slip out and fall on top, one two no. Gail with a nice clothesline. Trish thrown out hard to the floor. Gail with a right, and runs Trish back first into the post. She's chosen the body part, I think. Trish thrown in, and Gail waits on the apron for something. Springboard OUCH - she slipped on the top rope and landed horribly in the ring! That's how you break collarbones. Trish immediately covers and hooks deep, one two NO. Guess we're going on. Gail with a kick to the ribs and a forearm to the back. Gail "taunting" Trish as she follows up. Gail split her pants too, that was really bad. Al: "Gail showing a lot more than just heart tonight on Heat." Side back breaker. Gail going up? She's either nuts or brave. Going up to the second rope - but Trish is up too, Stratusphere to take Gail down. Trish wins the punch battle, although it's a lot more forearm battle than anything, and Gail ends with with a knee. Gail off the ropes, big Trish spinebuster one two NO. Trish picks up Gail, but Gail rakes the eye. Whip, quick reverse to a kick, Statrusfaction one two three. (4:11) Gail's not moving, and Doan is checking on her as Trish celebrates. Credit to Gail for going on after that, but I hope when she comes back she's a lot more ready or simplifies things; you can't really be surprised she got injured doing something like that, you just kinda hoped it wouldn't happen.

HHH vs Goldberg for the World Title on RAW. That's it.  

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