by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

your hosts (for now) are Al and Coach; Coach's Injury Of The Week is three cracked ribs via the Dudelyz. Of course Al accidentally hits him in the ribs shortly after, while proclaiming Not A Seat To Be Had (as many empty seats are seen - they do say it's a sell out.)

Royal Rumble: Rhyno, The Cat, Tajiri, Nunzio, John Cena, Matt Morgan, Charlie Haas, Bradshaw, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, A-Train, Rikishi, Chris Jericho, Billy Gunn, Rene Dupree, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Goldberg, Hurricane, Kane, Matt Hardy (Version One), Test, Christian, Spike Dudley, Rico, Booker T.
Royal Rumble: Triple H (c) vs Shawn Michaels for the World Title in a Last Man Standing Match - everyone's looking forward to it except Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

But, seeing as we've still got the theme song going, they decide to toss it to the SmackDown duo standing in the interview area - your hosts (for now) are Josh and what the heck is Rue wearing? I have issues with that top and the arm sleeves and there's far too much going on for obviously reading descriptions of matches off cue cards. Anyway:

Royal Rumble: Brock Lesnar vs Hardcore Holly for the WWE Title
Royal Rumble: Eddie Guerrero vs Chavo Guerrero. "This is the tragic story of a family torn apart!"
Look back at Los Guerreros highs - and then lows. (4:01)

Backstage, Cole talks to Eddie - will he be able to control his Latino Heat? Eddie thinks that's understandable given the circumstances. He says that a lot more dramatically than I just did. He is getting better at controlling his anger, though, and he's going to show that tonight. He's going to prove that he's the better man, and also the better wrestler. After that, though, he's going to beat Chavo up.

Tonight: Molly Holly vs Victoria! Listen to Coach get totally distracted by Victoria's outfit? This is not a title match, I guess.

RAW Live
Monday - Hershey, PA [RAW]
Saturday - Dayton, OH [RRTWMXX]
Sunday - Youngstown, OH [RRTWMXX]
Monday - "Penn State University" [RAW]
Next Monday - Portland, OR [RRTWMXX]

JVC Coach's Wild Ride (through a table) of Monday

Coach is not pleased. He's got RIB TAPE! Coach takes a moment to cut a promo on the Dudleyz. No, really! Coach promises to screw around with the tag team title table match, basically. Al takes over to send us to

WWE Originals Release Party. So Jericho was there after all? Okay. (:54)

Funaki, SmackDown #1 Announcer stands outside of the Royal Rumble Drawing Room. Mark Henry and Theodore Long leave the ring, and it sure sounds like Mark got a bad number. Long goes on and on and notes that Funaki is Oriental. Anyway, they'll make the man pay for all his Hate-rade ways. What's with Funaki's necklace?

Coach says people have been coming and going from the room all day - maybe we'll get another skit or two. Al reveals his incredible Royal Rumble strategy! "I liked to get a high number." Come to think of it, how many of those did he win?

Tonight: Molly Holly vs Victoria

YJ WM Recall Body Slam Challenge of 1985

Backstage, Funaki catches up to Kurt Angle before he goes to get his number. How he's eye? Angle doesn't know what happened, he got poked in the eye and couldn't see well. Angle says the Rumble means everything to him, because he wants to go back to WrestleMania and get the WWE Title back. He dedicates the win to the Armed Forces again. Nothing is going to stop him.

Back to Josh and Rue. Rue throws out Show, Cena, and Billy Gunn as other possible winners.
Royal Rumble: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Hardcore Holly for the WWE Title
Broken Neck and Back (1:35)
Josh: "Bob Holly and Brock Lesnar are going to put the Extreme back in Philadelphia..."
Order the PPV!

Tonight: Molly Holly vs Victoria

Look! People! Now it's looking pretty full. Back to Al and Coach, who go right into
Royal Rumble: Triple H (c) vs Shawn Michaels for the World Title in a Last Man Standing Match
The Past and the Present (3:16)

SmackDown! Live
01/26 - Reading, PA [SD!RTWMXX]
01/27 - Washington, DC [SD!]
02/01 - Pittsburgh, PA [SD!RTWMXX]
02/02 - Toledo, OH [SD!RTWMXX]
02/03 - Cleveland, OH [SD!]

Offical Song Of Royal Rumble: "Nothing Left To Lose" by Puddle of Mudd
Josh and Rue hype up the Rumble. "[the intensity] is like nothing we've ever felt before at the Rumble!" Was she even here last year? Did she change her hair color since last PPV she was on?

Cole and Tazz go in-ring to explain the Royal Rumble rules. 90 second intervals.
Tazz's Key's to Victory
- Out of Sight, Out of Mind
- Conditioning
- Higher Number is Your Best Friend
Tazz lifts Cole up and teases eliminating him, but doesn't. BOOOS.

Back to Josh and Rue
Royal Rumble: Eddie Guerrero vs Chavo Guerrero
Royal Rumble: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) for the Cruiserweight Title
Royal Rumble: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Hardcore Holly for the WWE Title

Back to Al and Coach, who wish Tazz would've thrown out Cole
Royal Rumble: Triple H (c) vs Shawn Michaels for the World Title in a Last Man Standing Match
Royal Rumble: Dudley Boyz vs Ric Flair and Batista (c) for the World Tag Team Titles in a Table Match
Royal Rumble: Rhyno, The Cat, Tajiri, Nunzio, John Cena, Matt Morgan, Charlie Haas, Bradshaw, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, A-Train, Rikishi, Chris Jericho, Billy Gunn, Rene Dupree, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Goldberg, Hurricane, Kane, Matt Hardy (Version One), Test, Christian, Spike Dudley, Rico, Booker T. Al says this is the 17th Rumble, and the most important since it leads to WMXX

Next: Molly Holly vs Victoria.

YJ Stinger Bret and Lex Tie In The 1994 Rumble. Hmmmmmm.
Coach and Al discuss the tie some more; Al notes they both had title matches at WrestleMania.

Stone Cold in the UK to sign his book. (1:15)
Coach sends it to his good pals, the King and JR. Coach promises to join them shortly. Hype hype I bet they get to call the Rumble two years straight. Will Mick Foley show up? They've left a seat open for him again.

Women's Champion Molly Holly (Forest Lake, MN) vs Victoria (w/Steven Richards) in a non-title match - King is SURE Foley will not show up tonight. Steven's got new tights! Victoria has a nice new outfit. This is the first item we've seen Victoria since that boot to the jaw. She's still not 100%. Everyone wears black. Molly slides for a takedown, but it's stepped away. Lockup, Molly backed into the ropes, break. Lockup, Molly with a hammerlock, Victoria with a switch to get in control, taking Molly down to the mat. Cranking it in, then turning Molly over for a pin one two no. Headlock, JR is actually calling his match, so it's shame there's this gap here where nothing is happening. It's like no one told not to waste time on the prelims because these pre-PPV matches are always truncated. Molly trying to fight out of the headlock but no. Headlock takeover, one two no. Molly with the legscissors reversal, but Victoria turns while in the hold and reverse to a a jackknife pin one two Molly bridges up, turns it over, into a backslide one two NO. Victoria with a dropkick to the head, but Molly trips her up into the corner on the follow up - she went into the corner by the chin. Molly mocks her before following up with a boot choke to the face. Snap mare, off the ropes, dropkick to the face. One two NO. Stretching Victoria's face, and again. Corner whip, Molly charges in and hits the Molly Pop (not called), pose before covering one two NO. Molly yells at the count for not being three. Victoria thrown face first into the mat once, and then twice. One two no. Reverse neck vice. JR and King are recapping the bits with Kurt and Mark Henry before. Steven's rallying Victoria, getting the crowd back into it. Victoria running out of the hold, hitting a reverse neckbreaker where it wasn't clear who was doing it, but she's in better condition out of it. One two no. Step over armbar - La Majistral one two NO. That's not really an Oklahoma Roll. Waistlock rolllup one two NO. Victoria freaking out, but also punching Molly right in the face! And another one. A third is helped by the camera angle. Slam, and a "this is how I end up with a knee brace" standing moonsault one two NO. Molly gets in a knee lift, then smashes Victoria's face into the mat again. Molly going up? Steven's lurking in the general area, but Victoria gets to Molly before she can do anything. Punch of Molly, but Molly fights back and pushes Victoria off the ropes. Molly goes back to climbing, but Victoria landing on her feet, and this time just crotched Molly on the buckle. Victoria scoops her off right into position - Widow's Peak! One two three! (4:58) Wow, they got five minutes? Maybe they just hate cruiserweights. Maybe timing was much better. Crowd way behind the definite #1 contender at the end there. Steven earned his money tonight! Victoria grabs at her chin as she celebrates, and on to...

Royal Rumble video package. (2:25)

E-MAIL THE CUBS FAN
BROWSE THE HEAT RECAP ARCHIVES

The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
of his overly detailed rambling reports at www.thecubsfan.com 

All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.