Simon Dean vs Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) - Simon uses Earl and then Lillian as human shields, causing Coach to get in another shot on her. Coach seems bitter about Rhyno for some reason, hahaha. 

Coach: "You saw what happened, I had the win, one, two three, it was a slow count. And then Tajiri out of nowhere, I wasn't even looking, kicked me in the back of the head. Otherwise, I score the victory.
Todd: "So, you lost, that's what you're telling me."
Coach: "I got set up."
Todd: "You had La Resistance-"
Coach: "Why don't you shut up?" 

Meanwhile, you've missed nothing. Simon manages to duck a clothesline, but his hiptoss isn't going to work no matter how he tries. Short clothesline ends that. Corner whip, charge in but Simon's moved out of the way. Reverse neckbreaker across the middle rope, and a snap kick to Rhyno while his head is in the middle rope, one two no. Jumping knee to the back of the neck. Stomp down. Right. Headbutts to the back of the head? Okay. Rhyno getting rallied from the crowd, but his punches are trumped by Simon's punches. Bouncing kneedrop. Hard corner whip. Simon with pelvic thrusts? Okay let's not. Legdrop, one two rolling  it over to headscissors Rhyno's head and hammer it into the mat. One two no. Shots to the chest. Chinlock. Rhyno reaching. Coach: "I almost took Batista on! He was that close to going a round with me." Rhyno battles up, fireman's carry into a RKO? Huh. One two no. Todd's evaluating Coach's interview from an accessory standpoint. Coach: "the Coach looks cool regardless of whether he has his glasses on!" Todd: "Whatever happened to your hat?" "Women like the bald head better." Rhyno gets tripped into a middle buckle, and Simon goes for the bag. He's caught by Earl and they argue over it. Simon turns, GORE, one two three. (4:05) Coach: "Much like last week, Rhyno uses a distraction to get the win. Rhyno can't win on his own, and that my friend is a FACT."

Your hosts are Coach and Todd, if Todd will just let Coach get a word in edgewise and get more excited about WM21.

Tonight: "Either La Resistance or Christian and Tomko are going to become the new tag team champions, because Regal and Tajiri? They're going down." It's an elimination tag for the titles.
Next: Batista and Triple H will - not lock up.

WrestleMania Recall, sponsored by Snickers: WM1.

WM HoF addition: Hulk Hogan

Hurricane probably should stop accepting matches with Triple H by now. (1:24)
RAW: Batista vs Ric Flair (w/World Champion Triple H)

RAW Live
Monday - Raleigh, NC
Saturday - Mobile, AL
Sunday - Dothan, AL
Monday - Atlanta, GA
Next Saturday - Fayetteville, NC

WM21: Piper's Pit returns on WrestleMania 21, with guest Steve Austin.

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 244 pounds) vs Big Vito (Staten Island, NY, 250 pounds, already in the ring) - Coach threatens to wrestle and complains about Lillian talking over him. Yes, the guy from WCW. He's spent the time since you saw him in a tanning bed. Hosts talk about the "dozens and dozens" of highlights from Piper's Pit and, shockingly, they all turn out to be ones featured in clips repeatedly. Circle. Lockup, Vito with aright, Val with a right back. Circle. Lockup, no, Vito with a knee. Right. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Those kicks are eh. Forearm. Forearm. Boot choke. Coach appreciates when you rip him off. Vote poses - and cabbage patches? Huh. Clothesline by Val, clothesline. Whip, back elbow, elbow drop, one two no. Val off the ropes, knee drop. One two NO. Vito rolls to the apron, Val goes after him and gets his arm cranked over the top rope. Vito back in. Forearm. Hammerlock. Coach: "Everything I say sounds cool." Vito runs Val into the corner shoulder first. Vito in no hurry. Time to taunt the crowd. Stomps. Boot choke. Choke around the ropes. Your ref is Jack Doan. Arm crank over the top rope. Arm drag. Armbar. Fans turning on this match louder than they usually let on, though they're putting over Vito as much as they do any of the non regulars. Val fights out and armdrag out. Val with aback elbow, one two no. Whip, head down too and it's kicked. Vito misses a clothesline, Val connects on a punch. Whip, back drop. Val massages his arm. Corner charge misses, Vito with a forearm, German blocked, and Val elbows out. Walking their way through a whip reversal to aback elbow, but Val comes back with a forearm to the back and the belly to back powerbomb. Calling for it? Wait, no, Vito's back up. Half nelson suplex will put him down, and now he's going up faster. Money Shot, one two three. (4:37) Don't raise the hut arm.

Next: Edge is going to make sure HBK doesn't make it to WrestleMania

WWE Rewind, bought to you by Snickers: Edge tells Shawn "AM I BREAKING YOUR HEART?" and I'm thinking Shawn might not have been the only person to hear that line from him recently. 

Coach and Todd discuss. "You knew it was going to me nasty, but not this nasty." oh man. You can't take anything the right way now. 

They transition from straight clips to black and white highlights after the DDT. Watch as Edge tries to steal another person's (move) and pays for it. (4:58)
On to SmackDown, where HBK got revenge. (3:31)

WM21: Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels

Next: Christian and Tyson Tomko vs La Resistance vs Tajiri and Regal (c) for the World Tag Team Championship

WWE Slam of the week, sponsored by Juicy Drop Pop: Trish spells it out for Christy.

Tyson Tomko & Christian (509 pounds) vs La Resistance (Quebec City, Quebec, 577 pounds) vs Tajiri & William Regal (446 pounds, champions) for the World Tag Team Championship in a Triple Threat Elimination Match - Coach likes Tomko and Christian the advantage, because they're more of an unknown. Todd sets up highlights from last week. 

Coach: "Do we really have to show that?"
Todd: "I'm not in charge here. I just, I'm a talking monkey."
Coach: "You're a talking head is what you are. And that's all your good for." 

Coach narrates the clip. "What a shock, Mike Choida not paying attention." Todd: "I was pulling for you Coach. I was hoping for something that'd build up your self-confidence. You're so humble, you need something to hang your hat on." Okay, everyone's set up. The empty corner is in between La Resistance and the champions. Looks like Regal and Grenier will start. Circle. Lockup. Headlock. Right hand, then back to the headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock, one two no. Snap mare, knee drop, Tag to Tajiri, snap mare, double kicks. Elbow to the had. Armbar. but Grenier pulls Tajiri down by the back of the head. Facelock, and backing into the corner so Conway can tag himself in. Right. Right. Right, no, Tajiri blocks, kick to the leg, right, left, off the ropes, into a Conway tilt-a-whirl backbreaker one two no. Grenier shoves Tajiri into the corner, tag to Grenier. whip, no back to Grenier elbow, clothesline by Conway. One two no. Slam, yelling in French, kneedrop misses. Announcers talk about the coveted spots on the WrestleMania card like not everyone will be on it; and if they keep doing these elimination matches before hand, maybe they won't. Tajiri gets in a kick to the head. Chop, whip, reversed, Christian makes the blind tag in, Tajiri keeps going and gives Grenier a kick catch enziguri, but now his pin isn't being counted because of it. Christian pushes Tajiri out of his way, and Tajiri gives him a reverse thrust kick on the way out. Choida has words for Tajiri, missing Grenier covering one two no. Christian thrown into the La Resistance corner and kicked own. Greiner pulled off, and Conway gets in a choke with the flag - so Tomko solves the problem by punching him, and punching Grenier when he gets involved. Tomko coming in the ring now, and getting laid out behind by Conway. Now both of La Resistance beating Tomko down. Coach won't get off the Choida-hating trip, promising to request Jack Doan as his referee next time. It's nice Coach is finally picking battles he could possibly win (except for the Rhyno thing.) Christian tries to help his partner, and gets kicked in the midsection for it. Hart Attack on Christian, and he rolls out as they work on Tomko. Double whip, heads down too soon, and Tomko clears house with a forearm and a clothesline. Grenier manages to forearm Tomko into the champions corner, and Tomko responds by - laying out the champions, huh. I would've thought a tag but apparently not. Tomko turns back to Grenier and walks into a flapjack, but Grenier is similarly embarrassing when he blows the kip up. He stand back up normally, just in time for Tomko to kick him down. Tajiri working over Tomko with kicks now. Whip, reversed, Tarantula, Tomko shoves him off, and turns to kick Regal down. Todd, like most people, is wondering who the legal men are - I think they were Christian and Grenier last time we checked, and actually, look who's coming back in? Christian, to Unpretty Grenier. One two three. Gay men all over the world are sad, but Grenier is gone. (4:26) Christian is ecstatic - we need a break to take this in.

Back, as Christian is choking Regal out. On to a chinlock. During the break, Regal was cleaning house on Christian and Tomko during the break, but Christian got in the thumb to the eye and the ring post to the face. Live, Regal is battling out of the chinlock to a double wristlock. Christian lets go to punch Regal in the ribs, and Regal sells it like Christian has knuckles and I'm starting to wonder if everyone was told "Regal's weak spot is the side! Don't forget!" and I forgot because this is a new Regal match theme. Tag to Tomko, who's punching Regal down. And when he's done, he's punching him more. And when he's done with that, he's choking. And when Choida thinks Tomko's done with that, well, by god, Tomko's going to push him away and choke him some more. Choida oddly lets this go with a warning. One two no. Front facelock, head beal. Boot choke, gonna choke him right out of the ring. Todd: "Tyson Tomko's really evolved". Looks pretty Cro-Magnon to me. Tomko drags Regal back towards Christian for a tag. They did end up taking the opposite corner; I thought them not having it to begin with was a tell, but obviously not. This could be Tomko's first championship, Todd points out. Christian tries to work over Regal with punches and Regal quickly exposes that as a bad idea with some European Uppercuts. Reach for a tag - but Christian picks the ankle and holds him short. Holds him there for a while. Todd: "Tajiri's about two feet short-" "Yea, he's about two feet short. Such a little guy." Christian makes the tag to Tomko, who clears Tajiri off the apron before going back to the choke. Covering, no, pounding. Tag to Christian, holding Regal for a punch. Scoop, slam. Elbow drop, but no one's home. Todd: "And you think I have bad jokes." Both up, and Regal's left handed punch spins out Christian. Can he make the tag? Can he go the right corner? In a neutral one. Tag to Tomko, Tomko charges, Regal moves out of the way and tags to Tajiri. Kick to Tomko, Kick to Tomko, whip, reversed, handspring elbow, dropkick to keep Christian out, wheel kick for Tomko one two NO. Coach reminds us he promised new champions. Tomko gets in a knee, whip, Tajiri ducks under the clothesline, handspring knocks Christian to the floor, reverse thrust kick for Tomko one two Christian breaks it up. Christian checking his shoulder before continuing. Stomp, corner whip, charge into the Tarantula, which works this time, but Tomko breaks it up in short order. Tomko choking Tajiri in the corner, punching him as Tajiri still sets himself on the second rope - seated Tornado DDT is shoved off. Tajiri ducks the the Boot, but gets kicked on the next pass anyway. Tomko setting up for a shoulder powerslam, but Regal's back and kicking Tomko in the midsection to break that up. Christian clotheslined out by Regal. Tajiri assassination kick to Tomko, one two three (4:22, 8:48) Champs retain.

That's it.