I just realized I have no idea who's hosting this show now. Intrigue! Or not really.

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Live, in Buffalo, NY, it's one hour away from the GAB. Your hosts are Todd and Josh! A match made in heaven! Todd's never looked as tall.

Todd: "First time you and me have hosted a show together; let's try not to screw it up."
Josh: "I've seen your work - I think we're going to be in trouble."

time to cut and paste
GAB: Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio for the secret
GAB: Undertaker vs Muhammad Hassan [WORLD #1] - they waste no time getting to the one liners
Todd: "The entire country has been buzzing about this match."
Josh sticks to the script from Velocity
GAB: Batista vs JBL [WORLD]

GAB Press Conference (1:19)

Backstage, Steve Romero gets to talk to US Champion Orlando Jordan. "Concerned about Chris Benoit beating me? No. I'm the United States champion. I'm faster in my hands, lighter on my feet, hahaha, easy on the eyes and easy in the seat, baby. Tonight, when JBL beats Batista for the World Heavyweight Title, and I retain my-" OJ can't talk with Chris Benoit look at him look that. OJ takes a small step back. "You got something to say?" PUNCH TO THE FACE. hahahahaha. Catchphrase works better if you don't mumble, OJ.

Still to come: Paul London vs Nunzio [CW] Huh? Guess someone got cleared too late.
Next: Batista Crashes The Party, the text informs me.

You know, I don't actually know if the Boogieman bit hasn't been on Velocity or if keep missing it. It here though. "and when the clouds hide the moon" is supposed to be funny, right? (:50)

Talk about JBL. Look at the guy who can't spell Hassan.

MOOOOOO JBL celebration from SD! Was DDP driving this car? No? Oh. This all peaked with the visual and sucked with the audio. (4:13)

Moments ago: Batista arrived, flirted with Candice Michelle (which strangely gets ignored by the announcers) 

Still to come: Paul London vs Nunzio [CW]

SD! Live
07/26 - Rochester, NY [SD!]
07/30 - Bangor, ME
07/31 - Burlington, VT
08/01 - Poughkeepsie, NY
08/02 - Bridgeport, CT [SD!]

Todd: "Lately, controversy has followed Muhammad Hassan everywhere he goes, but if he can indeed beat the Undertaker, it'd be the biggest headlines of his career." I think I agree with that. Talk focuses on the #1 contendership.

The how we got here video package focuses more on his opening six man match than anything else. Hmm, they are including the backstage speech to Daivari. Do we get the masked men? "I assure you that sacrifice will not go without it's reward" gets repeated, so there's Daivari's motivation if he turns tonight. Just to make it clear for the slow people out there who still aren't sure what they're supposed to be implying, the audio is now a very common prayer sura. This beyond stupid and disrespectful - can you imagine the storm would be if they pulled this with a more ingrained Western religion? and it's really sad that it does work because it's not - but it's also a waste of my time. I hate to be Machiavellian, but I'm so thrilled this is gone that I don't care how it happened. If Hassan is a good talker as some of you think he is, he should be fine when his material isn't nearly as cheap. I'm way off track; let just me explain we got 4 seconds from a generic Undertaker vignette glued at the end plus a moment of black screen. (3:33) Josh makes another vague "controversy" comment, but they're not coming any closer than that.

Next: Eddie and Benoit.

Slam of the Week, sponsored by Stanley Tools has nothing to do with this show, but is hyping the lumberjack match to hype tommorow's Battle of the Bands.

Todd confuses where he is at the moment and where he'll be on Monday
RAW: Battle of the Bands
RAW: Edge vs Kane in a Stretcher Match. Since everyone will be expecting Matt to be in the ambulance, where will he be?

Benoit tries to talk sense into Eddie. Then he tries to beat sense into him. (4:36)

Still to come: Paul London vs Nunzio [CW]

WWE Rewind, sponsored by Subway: Melina attack her referee, Torrie attacks her.

Standard Bra & Panties hype, but they're interrupted by - the Mexicools riding in on Juvi's Juan Deer! They got a boom box playing their music! Oh man, they're taking over Heat! Start small, build from there. Juvi: "Give me that." Juvi takes Josh's microphone. I don't know where Todd went. Psicosis gives Josh a wacky handshake. "Welcome to the Mexicools show! [to Josh] Come here, come here, come here. You think you look good? But you ain't Mexicool, baby, now get out of the way. Finally, the Mexicool are in the house! And the house is with the Mexicools!" Crazy: "YEA!" Psicosis: "And remember, we are not Mexicans - we're Mexicools!" Juvi yells to the crowd as we switch to

Tazz and Cole and boy is Juvi going to be upset when he realizes they pulled away
GAB: bWo vs Mexicools
GAB: Batista vs JBL [WORLD]
GAB: Undertaker vs Muhammad Hassan [WORLD #1]
GAB: M&N vs Heidenreich & Road Warrior Animal [WWE TAG]
GAB: Booker T vs Christian
GAB: Chris Benoit vs Orlando Jordan [US]
GAB: Melina vs Torrie Wilson [Bra and Panties, Candice Michelle as special guest referee]
GAB: Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio. Cole says Rey's won five in a row.
How we got here. (3:09)

Nunzio (already in the ring, challenger) vs Paul London (Austin, TX, champion) for the Cruiserweight Championship - London runs to the ring and immediately is attacked; they're treating this like they're short on time, but it doesn't look that way. Less time entering, more time wrestling. I guess Nunzio's a heel this week. Forearms, London fighting back with right hands. Whip, kick is slide under by Nunzio. Nunzio out, London out, Nunzio in, London in, Nunzio dropkick to London's head. One two no. Chinlock. Your ref is Charles. Holding in quite a while. Saying "controversial" over and over and not saying why it's controversial is unbelievable lame and annoying. London pulls out a Stunner (though I think he meant it to be a jawbreaker) to get free. London forearm to the face, and working both sides with kick. Whip, reversed, London over, and nailing Nunzio with a side kick, one two no. Corner whip, London charges in and lands the forearm. Corner whip, Nunzio backdrops him this time. Nunzio with a forearm ot keep London on the apron, climbing up, and kicked in the gut by London. Nunzio hangs on to the ropes, but loses his gum. London coming back in - and getting NAILED by a Sicilian Slice. Nunzio, who turned around before hand, didn't get him square - more of a side to the head thing as London was turning over to absorb it. I think it looked worse than it was. One two NO. Arrivederci is blocked, London counters, whips, Nunzio with a cross body, London catches, rolls thru, holds on and lifts up, and drops him with a side backbreaker. London pulling Nunzio into place. Hopping to the top rope. Shooting Star Press. One two three. (2:35) Yea, they didn't get time and were hurrying because of it. London gets his bet and runs right back out. Somehow, we do have enough time for a replay SSP. Nunzio might have been hurt on that backbreaker.

Now Tazz and Cole gab a bit about the main event to fill. Someone must've messed up time cues.
GAB: Batista vs JBL [WORLD]
How we got here (3:23)

That's it, a half minute early.