Tyson Tomko (Jacksonville, FL, 285 pounds) vs Shawn Riddick (already in the ring, somewhere, 215 pounds, hopefully ready to DIE) - Choida is your ref, and Tomko is already killing Ridding, ramming him back first into the corner, elbow smash to the head and then spinebustering him on the mat. Tomko, having grounded him, is pounding him with knees and punches. Knees to the head - the Tomko Sucks chants aren't helping. Tomko chucks Riddick out, sneaks around  Choida to get him, and rams him back first into the apron. Riddick back in. Dreamer thinks the SD! bit on RAW was a "set up." Is his using the Master Of The Obvious gimmick? He's got it nailed. Tomko throws Riddick into the corner, charges, and Riddick moves? Huh. Riddick gets in two punches before a knee stops him. Riddick kips up and out on a whip, Tomko pushes him to the apron, Riddick gets a knee to the gut, climbs to the middle rope, and Tomko gives him the boot, knocking him off the apron and into the wall. Make the ten count, he's dead. Choida doesn't - he goes out to check on Riddick, determines he's dead (who made him an MD?) and calls it. (KO 1:41) Which is great, because it gives Tommy some time to make up a story about how Tomko Was A Bodyguard Who Got Tired Of Punching People In The Face, So He Started Kicking Them In The Face. New guys are so fun. 

STill to come: Koko B. Ware vs Rob Conway. Wow, I'm apparently on drugs, because it could not have actually said that.

Tomko's already backstage! He's scary quick, I tell you. Oh, no, Gene Snitsky. Gene gives him props, but more off, he's thinking about the boot Tomko gave Snitsky in the battle royale. Snitsky's not mad - he wants to team up! Whatever happened to the Tomko/Dupree team, anyway? Did Dupree get hurt and no one's missed him in a month? Quite possibly. Anyway, Tomko isn't high on this team either, but Snitsky tries to convince him by pointing out they both have goatees, they're both big, they're both scary , they've both got a foot fetish - Snitsky remembers that's just him. I'm going to really be sad I didn't transcribe this three years from now. Right now, I'm just sorry I'm watching it. Tomko will think about it, but he seems like he doesn't want to be teaming with the psycho. Prepare for a Tomko/Snitsky match which will light the world on fire.

Kerwin White (Palm Springs, CA, 220 pounds, w/Nick Nemeth) vs Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 244 pounds) - Tommy's never golfed. Tommy does a below average "Hello, Ladies", which is odd considering how hot he is for Val. Todd: "Val Venis, the original ladies man." Your ref is Chad. Val's going to keep teasing throwing the towel to the crowd till Kerwin ambushes him, isn't he? No, I guess we just had time to kill. Tommy suggests he should be in Val's corner to counter Nemeth, and I encourage him to leave the broadcast booth right now. Todd finally explains Coach is preparing for his match, whatever type of match it is, though Todd figures Coach is just underwear shopping. Circle. CHAVO SUCKS. Kerwin sticks up for his non-person friend Chavo. Lockup, Val armdrag. Circle. Announcers talk about Hurricane's WWE.com exclusive turn. Top wristlock, Chavo bridged all the way down, back up, but Val armdrags him over. Kerwin claims shorts pull. Circle, Kerwin with kicks, stomps. Headlock. Val turns it around. Todd says Tommy's wearing a black shirt and black suit (rendering him invisible! or maybe no one realized he'd be commentating on this show when they taped it), which leads Tommy to make a positive reference to the WWE Dress Code. Val shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Val armdrag, armbar. Standing over Kerwin with the armbar locked in. Kerwin gets into the corner to ask for a break, and gets in an eye poke. Whip, no, corner whip (that was awkward) and Val goes down hard. Yes, another attack on Val's back. Stomps to Kerwin. Chinlock. Back suplex one two no. Kerwin: "What do all you Mexicans think about that?" Tommy: "I think it stinks there Kerwin." Learn something new every day. Val battling back with punches, whip, reversed backdrop. As the crowd says Chavo sucks, Kerwin believes they stuck. Back to Kerwin's modified chin lock. Val fighting up. Elbows. Suplex, no, Val can't get him up. Forearm takes him down. Stomp. European uppercut. Kerwin suplex. Kerwin happy. Stomps. Whip, head down too soon, and Val kicks him in the head. Tommy tries his hard sell for Taboo Tuesday. Eh. Val punches his way back up to his feet. Clothesline, back elbow. Todd: "I went Dude Love. Am I weird that I went Dude Love?" Tommy: "You're weird for a lot more reasons". Whip, backdrop. Chop. Corner whip, charge, corner clothesline. And more, because he's all fired up. Ten, why not. Val staggers into the half nelson slam. Val going up. Probably shouldn't be going to the Kerwin corner. Nemeth yelling at Val as the ref checks on Kerwin. Val yelling back, and finally Kerwin rolls out of the way. Val drops down, drops Nemeth off the apron, and drops into a Kerwin inside cradle one two three. (6:56) Todd says Kerwin had the tights. Sounds right. Kerwin's far happier about beating Kerwin than anyone probably should be.

video package? ad? Probably splitting hairs. Cena/Angle on RAW recap. Why didn't Eric just count three? The fake tap out is more legal? (1:59)

Ad for Taboo Tuesday. Note they're saying "JR will be rehired", not "JR will be back on RAW". I'm sure we'll find out about the difference.

Koko B. Ware (Union City, Tennessee, 240 pounds) vs Rob Conway (we'll never know!) - What. Tommy sings his favorites from Piledriver. No Frankie, no puppet made up to look like Frankie. And that's probably because Conway's clubbing him down already. Forearm. Stomps. Back into the apron. Pole! If it wasn't for Koko B. Ware, Rob Conway wouldn't have a job! Tommy Dreamer wouldn't exaggerated. Koko in the ring and getting killed. Big Right. Kick to midsection. Right. Your ref is Mickey Jay. Conway: "You're not the legend - I'M the Legend!" He's half right. Announcers talking about the losers tag team title championship match; maybe I'm crazy, but since "the people you don't want to see get a chance at titles they don't want!" idea doesn't seem so strong, they could've held off on the Hurricane/Rosey split for a couple more weeks and had a pick'em for their challengers. Cade and Murdoch get a helpful PPV win, you don't get a lame match, and no one knows who's in the main event till the main event. Rights. Forearm. Todd asks if I could imagine a tag team of Kane and Show, and I'm sure I've seen it at one point or another. Choke on he ropes. Slam. Conway off the ropes, dropping the elbow, dropping the elbow, slaps to the face. Todd tells the sad story of Frankie. Todd: "You can't replace Frankie!" "We're replacing Coach!" "That's true." Koko's - well, Tommy says it: "He's Birding Up!" Punches in slow bunches. Whip, clothesline misses, Conway gets him with an ugly one. Conway working Koko over more. Get Eugene out here already. Corner whip, reversed, Koko charges in but no one's home. Time for a trip? Ego Trip. One two three. (2:28) Well, that accomplished nothing. Eugene is finally out, chasing Conway out of the ring. He tries to pull Conway in to the ring, but ends up being pulled out himself. Conway punches him there. EGO TRIP on the floor. Conway back in so he gets his arm raised.

That's it.