by Scotty Szanto-Nicodemus
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Before I start with NWA: TNA, I want give y’all few details about the NWA 54^th anniversary show next weekend (Oct. 25 & 26).  First, yes it is a two-day event.  Friday night there is going to be a meet-n-greet, and then Saturday is the actual event.  There are a whopping 13 announced matches, including such TNA stars as AJ Styles, Ron “Tha Truth” Killings, Jorge Estrada, and Ken Shamrock.  We just ordered our tickets this past Monday, and we were able to get 3^rd row, for just $20 per ticket, so there are bound to be many good seats still available for anyone willing to travel to southern Texas!  The venue is in Corpus Christi, TX, which is on the gulf coast, probably 50-60 miles from Mexico…in fact, when I emailed NWA-Southwest and asked them for directions to the arena, their reply was “I-37 from San Antonio to Corpus, when 37 ends at the beach, turn right.”  All right!!  Anyway, I will be doing a match-by-match preview next week, I just wanted to take this opportunity to encourage everyone in the area to try and make it to this big event.

OK, with that out of the way, I want to begin by addressing a comment that I made last week.  When Syxx Pac won the X-Division Title, I said that I hope that they get the belt off of him fast because he can only bring the division down.  I want to retract that statement.  I am willing to give Mr. Waltman the opportunity to show me that he is worthy of the spot before making such comments.  I really have never given him much of an opportunity before, always jumping quickly on the “X-Pac Sucks!” bandwagon.  Now that he is free of the WWF entertainment machine, perhaps his workrate will come shining through and I could even find myself a Syxx Pac fan…hey, weirder things have happened!!  Like this:

I Get Letters™:  Your articles are so great.  You’re so funny!  --Amey

I really do get letters, I just didn’t get any this week (you bastards!), and so I have to resort to printing comments that my wife made!  Even after the insults that I made aimed at Missouri!!  So let’s see if I can insult someone enough to get some hatemail coming my way this week!

NWA: TNA XVII Oct. 16, 02

We start off, as one would expect, with DW and Mike Tenay, who preview tonight’s event, and we get some video replays to bring everyone up to speed.  If you need to be brought up to speed, you can scroll down for a preview, or check the archives for a replay.  Let’s go to the ring!

Actually, let’s go to a promo…Jorge Estrada is with Goldylocks backstage.  Long story short, he has two huge announcements.  First of all, he wants to introduce his valet Priscilla.  Secondly, he is going to be conducting a nationwide search for a new Elvis, beginning tonight with a Shake, Rattle & Roll competition.  Well, we have that to look forward to!  (Actually, before you scroll down to find out the results of the competition, let me tell you now that they fail to re-address this issue, which is an ominous way to start tonight’s broadcast.)  The interview is being conducted in front of a locker room door, and Syxx Pac walks out, attempting to slink past without interrupting.  Now that’s funny!  Brian Lawler interrupts things…seems he is looking for April.  As the interview comes to a close, someone else begins to walk out of the locker room, and goes back in!

David Young v. Brian Lawler w/April:  April is late coming to ringside, and Lawler reprimands her.  Lawler gets in the face of a ringside fan claiming that the fan “was looking at” April, and spits his gum in the fan’s face.  By the way, Tenay and West are telling us that it was April that started to walk out of the locker room after Syxx Pac, and they are playing-up the fact that Pac and April were in the locker room alone together.  “We don’t have any proof,” they say repeatedly, but what they’re really saying is that April is a slut.  As for action in the ring, the match consists of an extended feeling-out process, with Lawler repeatedly being distracted by the fans.  Young hits a nice move, holding Lawler up in position for a Powerbomb, but falls backwards instead and Lawler lands in a Pancake-like maneuver.  Young then lands three consecutive DDT’s, but when he goes for a Moonsault, Lawler is able to move out of the way.  Lawler then goes for the Hip Hop Drop, but misses.  This enables Young to go back to the top turnbuckle, but as he is climbing he is distracted by April, who waves at him (for Cliff’s sake, she could’ve at least made the wave look sexy if I’m to believe it was enough to distract him!)  Anyway, Lawler is able to pull Young off the turnbuckles into an Inverted DDT for the win.  This match was a complete dud; a waste of my time, and the entire storyline with Lawler and April isn’t much better.  Not the best way to start things off.

TNA Grrrls.  NWA UK – Thursday, Oct. 17 – Civic Hall – Bedworth, Warwickshire – 8pm…NWA Wildside – Friday, Oct. 18 – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm…NWA UK – Friday, Oct. 18 – Civic Arena – Gray, Essex – 8pm www.nwawrestling.com

Replays preview the Jerry Lynn v. Sonny Siaki feud.

Jerry Lynn limps to the ring for a promo.  He doesn’t blame Siaki for the injury to his knee, but he also assumes no responsibility for what he will do to Siaki next week!  Lynn also says that he has “bought and sold punk-ass bitches like you for 14 years!”  Nice touch.  Apparently, he’s going to beat some respect into Siaki.  This brings Siaki to the ramp, telling Lynn that not only does Sonny Siaki respect no one, but also “Sonny Siaki is life.”  Siaki rushes the ring, attacking Lynn’s injured knee until Ace Steel, Derek Wylde, David Young and Norman Smiley come from the back to restrain Siaki.  As security makes it to the ring, they hold Lynn in one corner and Siaki in the other.  They each break-through the security, attacking one another repeatedly until Head o’ Security Don Harris hits the ring and escorts Siaki to the back.

Earlier today:  Syxx Pac sat down with Mike Tenay for an interview.  Tenay calls him Sean and mentions his beginnings in the Global Wrasslin’ Federation, where he had a series of matches with Jerry Lynn.  He goes on to say that Pac was X-Division before there was an X-Division.  Pac says, “It’s X for X-treme, it’s X for a lot of reasons,” before he remembers that the second X stands for X-citing.  They mention the nWo and D-X, and Pac says that he is not a Sports Entertainer, he is a wrassler.  From there they discuss his comments to Low Ki last week, and his match against Styles tonight.  Hmm…Pac just might be able to win me over after all.  Then again, that’s exactly what I am supposed to think at this point, so I don’t want to start marking-out for him too early.

Sonny Siaki v. Jorge Estrada w/Priscilla: This is a good old-fashioned Grudge Match.  They start fast n furious, until Siaki is able to dump Estrada over the top rope with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex.  Don West and Tenay take this opportunity to remind us that Siaki was once a member of the flying Elvises before Siaki “disrespected the uniform”.  Estrada is able to land a Tornado DDT from the corner, holds Siaki up in a Fireman’s Carry position and rolls through with a slam, followed by a Springboard Moonsault from the middle rope.  Siaki is able to reverse the momentum with a clothesline, and then rolls outside.  Estrada leaps from the top turnbuckle to the floor, but Siaki is able to move out of the way.  He rolls Estrada back into the ring and lands his finisher, which I thought was called the Money Clip, but Tenay tells us that it is called the Siakalypse…as in Apocalypse (as if that’s not the dumbest name for a move ever).  Tenay tells us furthermore that Siaki had pulled Priscilla in front of him when Estrada leapt from the top turnbuckle, but luckily she was able to move out of the way.

Jerry Lynn attacks Siaki on the ramp after the match, and we have another pull-apart brawl.  DW tells us that Jerry Lynn can’t even put any weight on his right leg.  (Let’s keep that in mind, and see if it is still his right leg next week.  HA!)

TNA Grrrls.  NWA ECCW – Friday, Oct. 18 – Royal Canadian Legion – Port Coquitlam, BC – 8pm…NWA Main Event – Saturday, Oct. 19 – Morton’s Sportatorium – Columbia, TN – 8pm www.nwawrestling.com

Derek Wylde v. Ace Steel w/Mortimer Plumtree:  Wylde is known as The Danger Boy from Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.  He was trained by Whipper Watson (the son of a former NWA World Champ) and Dory Funk, Jr.  Steel is 29, and was trained for the ring by Harley Race.  Mortimer Plumtree is out to take-over the X-Division according to Mike Tenay.  Personally, between Steel and his tag-team partner from a few weeks ago, I would’ve chosen CM Punk…but that’s probably just because I’ve seen Punk before (from Jersey Championship Wrestling’s J-Cup), and I have an appreciation for Punk’s Straight Edge gimmick…during his promo at the J-Cup he said, “I’m drug free, which makes me better than all of you!”  We don’t have Punk, however, we have Steel, and almost as a way of proving my point, Steel appears to be sleepwalking through this match.  It’s as if he was putting 110% into his matches up until this point, but now that he has signed a contract, he can get by with only 80%.  The announcers are putting Mortimer Plumtree over as having a bottomless bank account, ala Ted Dibiase, and they tell us that Ace Steel is just the first of his acquisitions.  As for the match, it is rather pedestrian, mainly due to Steel’s coasting through.  As an exclamation point, when Steel sets Wylde up for his finisher; he needs Wylde to noticeably hold on in order to execute the move (a Neckbreaker from the Gory Guerrero Special position).

TNA Grrrls.  NWA CWF – Saturday, Oct. 18 – Le Rendezvous – Winnipeg, MB – 8pm…NWA Mississippi – Saturday, Oct. 19 – Hollywood Plaza – Magee, MS – 8pm…NWA UK – Saturday, Oct. 19 – Mote Park Leisure Center – Ashford, Kent – 8pm www.nwawrestling.com

Tenay reminds us about the big 54^th anniversary show in Corpus Christi, announcing that Konnan will be on the card, furthering in my wife’s mind that Konnan will eventually be introduced as the man under the Mr. Wrestling III mask.  While he’s at it, I will remind you that when the above dates scrolled by, they did in fact list the first event as taking place on Saturday the 18^th, and the others as taking place on Saturday the 19^th…the typo isn’t my fault!

“Miss TNA” Bruce & Jeff Jarrett v. BG James & Hermie Sadler:  James cuts a short promo, and the look on Bruce’s face is priceless when James says that he is going to “plow through you like a hot knife through butter.”  According to www.nwatna.com, there are NASCAR cameras present, taping footage from this match to play during the next race’s pre-game show on Fox Sports Net.  Hermie manages to execute a decent Arm Drag, and follows-up with…an Arm Drag before tagging-out.  I guess they got the footage they needed!  James in against Bruce, and they do a nice comedy spot where James sets him up for the Pump Handle Slam, and when he positions himself behind Bruce’s behind, Bruce begins to grind his ass against James, making a face that says “Ooh, I like it.”  James releases the hold, of course, and Bruce is able to turn the momentum.  Jarrett tags in against James, and they cut the ring off for James, keeping him in their corner and making rapid tags.  When James and Jarrett (the legal men) brawl up the ramp, Sadler is able to Suplex Bruce and go for the cover, but only gets 2.  On the stage, Brian Lawler comes out and attacks James with a trashcan.  Meanwhile, Bruce hits Sadler with a Backdrop Suplex in the ring.  When Bruce goes for a Monkey Flip, however, Sadler is able to drop down for the pin.  Let’s hope that the footage that they show on the NASCAR show brings in a few fans, because the match did little for me aside from a couple of comedy bits.  After the match, Bruce attempts to hug Jarrett, and receives The Stroke for his trouble.  Mercifully, the segment comes to an end.

TNA Grrrls.  NWA Wildside – Saturday, Oct. 19 – TV Taping – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm…NWA Mid-South – Saturday, Oct. 19 – Tiptonville, TN – 1pm www.nwawrestling.com

Tenay continues to pimp the 54^th anniversary show, but offers no new info.

Norman Smiley v. Big Ron Harris:  It’s good to see Norman Smiley on my television again, but against Ron Harris, I am not holding-out a lot of hope for this match.  Our reliable announcers remind us that the last time we saw Smiley was on the fifth broadcast, when Tha Truth (who was then calling himself K-Krush) choked-out Smiley by hanging him with his belt over the top rope.  The match involves lots of punches, and the occasional Big Boot.  Harris tosses Smiley outside the ring, then follows him out, and…throws him back in.  Smiley takes-over with a series of Clotheslines, followed by his patented Spinning Slam, then does the Big Wiggle when Harris is leaning against the middle rope.  The Wiggle infuriates Harris, who takes over with a Big Boot that misses by about a foot, so naturally Tenay says “the Big Boot catches Smiley squarely in the face.”  Harris’ finisher is a Cobra Slam, and after the match he continues to kick Smiley, but Norman snaps, and beats Harris down and chokes him out.  Heavy-D Don Harris hits the ring and breaks it up, and winds up standing nose-to-nose with his brother before we cut away.

TNA Grrrls.  NWA ECCW – Saturday, Oct. 19 – House Of Pain – Langley, BC – 8pm…NWA UK – Sunday, Oct. 20 – Stour Center – Ashford, Kent – 8pm…NWA Hawaii – Sunday, Oct. 20 – Palama Settlement Gymnasium – 7pm www.nwawrestling.com

As the above dates scroll by, Tenay tells us about a big two-night event Nov. 1 & 2 at the NWA Arena in Cornelia, GA.  It will be a 16-team tournament including “several” TNA stars, as well as Dory Funk, JR.

Chris & Rick Michaels v. “Cowboy” James Storm & “Wildcat” Chris Harris (champs):  Tenay and West remind us (as they do every time the champs wrestle) that Harris & Storm are undefeated.  In fact, as West tells us, everyone on the TNA roster that has wrestled at least three matches has at least one loss, except for Harris & Storm.  Storm and Harris each land a crossbody over the top rope onto the floor.  When Tenay tells us that Chris & Rick Michaels are not related, he refers to them as “The Michaels Boys”, so I will too.  The Michaels Boys take-over with some double-team offense in the ring, until Storm is able to make the hot tag to Harris, who is the proverbial House afire.  The ref is distracted with Harris and Chris Michaels, who are brawling outside the ring as Storm lands an Inverted DDT on Rick.  While Storm is covering for the pin, Chris comes off the top rope and breaks it up.  The Michaels Boys are able to land the Double Shot (a Face Breaker, Neck Breaker combination) on Harris, followed by a Flying Elbow off the top, but only get 2.  Storm pulls Rick Michaels out of the ring, allowing Harris the opportunity to hit the Catatonic on Chris for the pin.  After the match, The Hot Shots attack the champs in the ring, and it becomes a 4-on-2 beatdown.  Security personnel slowly make their way to the ring, and the heels commence to layout each security member before leaving the ring.

TNA Grrrls.  VCW/NWA Virginia – Sunday, Oct. 20 – Omni Hotel – Newport News, VA – 6pm…NWA UK – Monday, Oct. 21 – Winter Gardens – Margate, Kent – 8pm www.nwawrestling.com

AJ Styles w/Mortimer Plumtree v. Syxx Pac (champ):  X-Division Title Match.  The announcers (and even Jeremy Borash and the ref) have a fit over the fact that Plumtree has come to the ring with Styles.  Plumtree mimes “I’ll write you a check” to Styles as Syxx Pac is introduced.  Tenay tells us that when Syxx Pac (then known as The Lightning Kid) was first seen in the GWF ten years ago, he revolutionized American pro wrestling by ushering-in the era of the light heavyweight.  I’m not going to quibble over that…they’re just trying to get Pac over, after all.  Pac extends the hand to start the match, but Styles kicks it away.  We have an extended feeling-out process, and the crowd starts to turn against the match when Pac reverses a Headlock and goes for a very sloppy Float-Over.  When Pac sets Styles up for the Broncobuster, Plumtree pulls Styles out of the ring, and repeatedly gestures to his head because he is smart.  Back in the ring, and Styles goes for the X-treme Headlock!  Pac with a few Open-Hand Slaps, but Styles takes over in the corner by crotching Pac on the ringpost.  Styles is able to hit the Bossman Legdrop as Pac is draped across the middle rope, and then while Styles distracts the ref Plumtree chokes Pac on the rope.  Don West mistakenly assumes that the crowd is “firmly behind Syxx Pac” when they loudly chant “AJ Sucks!”  As evidence of this, later in the match when the crowd chants for the face Syxx Pac, the chant is not nearly as loud as this heel chant for AJ Styles.  The first actual X-treme move comes as Styles lands a Leaping Swanton over the top rope onto the floor.  Back in the ring, and Styles again locks-in the X-treme Headlock.  Styles misses the Spiral Tap from the top turnbuckle, and the crowd is Fired-Up as they sense the momentum us building to a climax.  After a few kicks from Syxx Pac, he leaps from the top, by Styles Dropkicks him on the way down.  Styles sets Pac up for the Broncobuster, but when he comes in, Pac is able to get the legs up, and Styles is sent over the top turnbuckle, onto the apron and to the floor.  That move was close to being X-treme.  Pac follows-up with a Swanton of his own, leaping from the top turnbuckle to the floor and taking-out Styles.  Back in the ring, and Pac is able to hit my favorite of all Suplexes, the Northern Lights (with a bridge), and that is the only good thing that I have to say about this match so far.  The ref is bumped, and Plumtree comes in the ring to break-up a pin attempt by Syxx Pac, but the ref comes-to in time to stop Pac from punching Plumtree.  Styles is set up for the Broncobuster, and this time Pac is able to connect, but instead of “riding” him, after he lands, Pac sits on him and goes for the 10-punch count along.  The crowd doesn’t catch on however, so they don’t count.  When Pac reaches punch number 9 (number 9, number 9, number 9…sorry), the ref intervenes and attempts to pull Pac off of him, since they are tangled in the corner, after all.  Pac weakly swats the ref away, and the ref calls for the bell, disqualifying Syxx Pac.

Give me a fuckin’ break!!  Stop copying WWE finishes a week after the WWE uses it!  And, for chrissake, don’t use the same lame-ass finish that had people up in arms when the WWE did it a week ago!  Finally, if you are going to use this lame DQ finish, at least let the ref get bumped in a serious way!  Pac looked as if he was swatting a mosquito away, and that was enough to call for a DQ? 

TNA Grrrls.  NWA UK – Tuesday, Oct. 22 – King’s Hall – Herne Bay – Kent – 8pm…NWA UK – Wednesday, Oct. 23 – Castle Hall – Hertford, Hertfordshire – 8pm www.nwawrestling.com

DW previews next week’s show…Sonny Siaki v. Jerry Lynn, BG James v. Brian Lawler, Harris & Storm will defend their belts, you will also see Jarrett, Tha Truth, Syxx Pac, Hennig, and AJ Styles.

Earlier Today:  Mike Tenay was able to sit down and interview Curt Hennig.  They discuss how his career got started in the AWA, and Hennig continually emphasizes the word wrestling, saying that the business has evolved, but he has always liked wrestling, which is what NWA represents.  All in all, he says about what you’d expect him to say.

Ron “Tha Truth” Killings (champ) v. Curt Hennig:  As a way of putting an exclamation point on how the NWA can piss me off with this broadcast, the champ enters first!  Killings cuts a promo in the ring before Hennig is introduced, and Hennig cuts a short promo before coming to the ring.  The most entertaining thing that either has to say is when Killings tells the fans, “I’m not the one that’s over-rated, it’s all yawls mamas that are over-rated!”  I can’t wait to boo him at the anniversary show!  Things finally get started slowly in the ring, and the crowd chants “Over Rated!”  They begin to brawl outside the ring, and Hennig gets Back-Bodydropped onto the announce table (the table does not break).  The go over the metal rail into the crowd, then back over the rail into the ringside area.  Back in the ring, and Tha Truth throws powder into Hennig’s eyes.  The camera misses it, however, so Tenay and West are left to over-sell it.  On the ramp, we see that Mortimer Plumtree is watching the match along with Ace Steel, AJ Styles, and Ron Harris.  This leaves me wondering why Ron Harris is part of the group, if Plumtree’s goal is to take-over the X-Division.  As is the theme tonight, Hennig seems to be putting forth about 75% effort, and the ref is bumped very weakly.  Here we go: Hennig is going for the Fisherman’s Suplex as Mr. Wrestling III rushes the ring, first attacking Hennig, then Killings.  BG James, Syxx Pac, Ace Steel, AJ Styles, and Ron Harris come to the ring and begin to brawl as Mr. Wrestling III leaves through the crowd.  Security, along with Bullet Bob Armstrong, helps to clear the ring, and referee Scott Armstrong restarts the match.  Tha Truth attacks the ref, then goes outside the ring and attacks Jeremy Borash and Bullet Bob.  Tha Truth is yelling all along that the match should not be restarted, and he should be declared the champ.  Bullet Bob grabs the mic and tells Tha Truth that he has two choices, either get in the ring and defend his belt, or stay outside and get counted-out and lose his title via count-out.  Hmm…I wonder what he’ll choose.  As Tha Truth is climbing back into the ring, Jeff Jarrett lands a low blow on Hennig behind the ref’s back, and Killings is able to immediately make the cover for the 3-count.  Yet another lame-ass ending to a lame-ass match.

After the closing credits, the following words flash across the screen in an Old-English font:

Evil Knows No Bounds…Evil Never Will Rest…Evil Returns…10.30.02

OK, so I guess that means they are bringing the Sinister Minister back for the Halloween show.  Good for him.  At least now I know that he can find work!

Recap:  This is the first show in over a month (since they have gotten rid of the Dupps, at least) that has left me wishing that I could get my $10 back.  We knew that Low Ki wasn’t going to be there, but where was The Amazing Red, Jose & Joel Maximo, Kid Kash, Tony Mamaluke, Elix Skipper?  Not to mention a slew of X-Division guys that they have brought-in once or twice…Shark Boy, Christopher Daniels, CM Punk, Kid Romeo and Psicosis?  After spending XVI weeks getting the X-Division over as the best thing in wrasslin’ today, we have to sit through the least X-treme card yet, filled with matches that were practically like watching walk-throughs for the competitors.  Also, I take back all of the good things that I said about Sean Waltman at the beginning of this column…he sucks, and his presence anywhere near the X-Division title can only mean the downfall of the division.  My advice to the NWA: TNA bookers; get rid of the “names” that not only cost too much to bring in, but only give about ¾ effort.  Bring back the young studs that haven’t made a name for themselves, but are willing to give 110% and lay everything on the line every show!  I consider myself to be a huge fan of NWA: TNA, but I am realistic enough to call a spade a spade, and tonight’s show was a piss-poor program that offered piss-poor booking performed by piss-poor athletes that seemed to care about nothing more than appearing and getting paid…with the exception of the Tag-Title Match.  Harris & Storm and The Michaels Boys are to be commending with having the only decent match on the card.

Sign O’ The Night:  My wife’s favorite was the anti-WWE sign that said Wish We were Entertaining, but I have to go with the guy on the floor next to the railing in the entryway that had a sign that read: HEEL SECTION.

PEACE

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