by Scotty Szanto-Nicodemus
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

This week’s recap is going to be a little less detailed than what I’ve been doing, because I still need to finish the recap for the NWA 54^th Anniversary show.  That column is easily going to be the most involved web-related project that I’ve ever done…we took something along the lines of 50 photographs at the show, and my plan is for an in depth photo-essay for y’all.  It’s coming along nicely; it is just VERY time consuming.  So I need to get right to today’s recap.

I Get Letters™:  

I got two signs on the broadcast: My Momma's not Overrated and Ace Steel Fears Decaf.

-unsigned

This letter comes from a fan that has been in attendance for all of the TNA shows in Tennessee, and also said that last week’s show was top-notch except for the dark matches.  Hey, I didn’t even know that they had dark matches!!  At any rate, if you email to tell me what your signs say before I get the recap written, you are greatly improving your chances of getting Sign o’ the Week…sending money will guarantee it!!  HA!

Let’s go to the ring!

Seriously, we’re going straight to the ring, as the broadcast begins with a brief scanning of the crowd in order to show a few signs, and then we get to the action right away, and the first two combatants are already in the ring.

Kid Kash v. Tony Mamaluke:  Tenay promises that this match will have ramifications for the X-Division standings.  Extended feeling-out process to begin.  Kash is the first to go high-risk, landing a Flying Crossbody over the top rope onto Mamaluke on the floor.  Back in the ring and Mamaluke takes control.  Tenay tells us that Mamaluke relies on a more ground-based attack, due in part to being trained by Dean Malenko.  When he brings it up, it makes me wish that TNA would sign the other half of the Full Blooded Italians, Little Guido.  Kash takes control with a Springboard Crossbody followed-up by a series of Clotheslines.  Mamaluke lands a devastating Belly-to-Back Suplex, and both men are down.  Kash connects with the Double-Underhook Piledriver and scores the pinfall.

Mike Tenay and DW preview the rest of the card, and if there was a way for me to scroll down for you, I would.

Scott Hall was interviewed earlier today by Tenay, and we get that footage now.  Of note, Hall refers to the NWA World Title as being around for more than 80 years, which makes me wonder why I went to the 54^th Anniversary show less than a week ago!!  Whatever.

It is time now for our World Title match…the second match on the card?!?  Anyway, Tha Truth comes out and raps the same lyrics as last week, so if you need to know, just check the archives.  He cuts a short promo, which includes telling the fans (who are chanting “You Suck”), “If I suck, then y’all swallow!”  The gist of the promo is that everyone is trying to throw us off the trail by claiming that Jeff Jarrett is under the Mr. Wrestling III mask.  Scott Hall comes out and tells Tha Truth to stop badmouthing the fans, which gets a minor pop.

Ron “Tha Truth” Killings (champ) v. Scott Hall:  Feeling-out process includes several incidents of Hall paintbrushing the back of Tha Truth’s head.  The meat of the match includes a Flying Burrito from Killings.  At one point, Tenay tells us that Tha Truth has never defended his title against someone with as much in-ring experience as Scott Hall…so if you remember that he defended against Curt Hennig TWICE, and Hennig has more experience than Hall, then you should wipe that from your memory.  After Hall’s Fallaway Slam, West repeats the claim that Killings has never wrestled anyone with the amount of experience as Hall, and when Mr. Wrestling III comes out I am thankful that the end of this match is near.  Hall removes the mask, but Mr. Wrestling III pulls his hood over his head and rolls out of the ring, where he dons another mask and leaves through the crowd.  Tha Truth wins with a Front Suplex after the distraction.  Ehh.  The match wasn’t bad, but Hall looks like a rookie whenever he has to take a front bump, and some of the commentary was downright insulting to my intelligence.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA Wildside – Friday, Nov. 1 – Fright Nights 2002 #1 – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm…NWA Main Event – Saturday, Nov. 2 – Morton’s Sportatorium – Columbia, TN – 8pm… www.nwawrestling.com

We experience technical difficulties as they show replays of the Hennig/Jarrett feud (no sound).  Tenay covers for the problems, then says that the problems are fixed, so let’s watch it again…and of course it doesn’t roll, so let’s bring out Double-J.

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring to thank the NWA for putting him in the World Title Tournament, which begins tonight…more on that later.  Jarrett’s second point involves the Mr. Wrestling III storyline.  He promises to pay a bounty to anyone that reveals (publicly or privately) the true identity of Mr. Wrestling III.  (Hey Jarrett!!  It’s Konnan!!  Now pay-up!)  HA!  Seriously though, if it does turnout to be K-Dogg, my wife called it weeks ago…just check the archives!  Curt Hennig comes out and tries to convince us that Jarrett really is Mr. Wrestling III, but Amey is not convinced.  Hennig has a funny line when he asks Jarrett, “You were the same guy that was Double-J, and you were the same guy that was The Chosen One, but were you the same guy that was DDP?  No?  Must’ve been somebody else!”

TNA Grrrls do their thang as Tenay updates the charity auction, and you can update yourself on the auction by going to www.nwatna.com.

 Hot Shots v. Chris & Rick Michaels v. America’s Most Wanted (champs):  This is a Three-Way Dance for the World Tag Team Titles.  Both teams of challengers double-team the champs to start.  This causes Tenay to say something along the lines of, “I’m not sure, but it almost looks as if the challengers are working together against the champions.”  God bless you, Tenay.  They brawl all over the ringside area, where Stevens and Chris Michaels work-over Harris, while O’Reilly and Rick Michaels commence to beat on Storm.  The action makes it into the ring, and Harris & Storm take-over.  When Rick Michaels goes for the cover on Storm, O’Reilly breaks up the count, and finally Michaels & Michaels begin to brawl against the Hot Shots.  O’Reilly hits a picture perfect Frogsplash, and gets two.  After Storm scores the 3-count and the champs retain, the lights go out.  This causes DW to say, “I know we had technical difficulties before, and something is obviously wrong.”  Try to act surprised when you read that after the lights come back on, the NEW Disciples of The New Church are in the ring attacking the champs.  The new disciples consist of Slash and Brian Lee, with Father James Mitchell directing traffic from the ramp.  Lee takes Storm and chokeslams him off the stage with one of the worst looking chokeslams since Tommy Dreamer chokeslammed Big Dick Dudley off the stage during ECW’s first ppv, Barely Legal.  The ECW references continue, as Harris is laid-out on a table, and Slash makes like New Jack, leaping from the balcony with a splash on Harris through the table.  Mitchell cuts a promo full of cryptic comments.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA Wildside – Saturday, Nov. 2 – Fright Nights 2002 #2 – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm…NWA Florida – Saturday, Nov. 2 – Lealman Discovery School – St. Petersburg, FL – 8pm… www.nwawrestling.com

Bullet Bob Armstrong sat down with Mike Tenay earlier today for an interview regarding rules governing World Title Matches.  Armstrong tells us that for years, champions have protected their titles by getting counted out or by getting disqualified on purpose in order to retain their titles.  You know, he’s right…I can remember a lot of instances of that exact thing happening, 20 years ago when I watched NWA on Saturday mornings!!  I can only think of one instance of the champ being disqualified and keeping his belt on TNA, and that was when Syxx Pac was disqualified a few weeks ago for striking the ref in a manner that was so clearly not on purpose.  I applaud this rule-change, but don’t insult me by making it sound as if there has been a rash of matches ending in this manner because there so clearly has not.  So now, if the champ gets disqualified, he loses his title.  Yippee.  Armstrong also announces a tournament, and Don Harris will be the special referee, in order to ensure fair matches.

The First Round Matches in the tournament will be:

Curt Hennig v. Jeff Jarrett

Sonny Siaki v. Jerry Lynn

Syxx Pac v. Brian Lawler

Ron Harris v. BG James

Only three of the matches will be tonight, but Tenay gives us no explanation as to why the fourth match is not going to be tonight.

Ron Harris v. BG James:  This is the first of the First Round Matches, which they are referring to as “Qualifying Matches” for some reason.  Tenay tells us that Syxx Pac injured his hip last week, and so his match against Brian Lawler will not be this week…why he isn’t just eliminated from the tournament is not discussed.  To the match, and Don Harris is the ref of course, and whenever one of the guys tries to use a closed fist, Heavy D stops him.  We cut-away to the back, where Jeff Jarrett has attacked Curt Hennig, who is already wearing a crimson mask.  While security tries to break it up, we return to the match, and the pace is…methodical.  James turns his attention to argue with Heavy D, and when he turns around he walks into a punch from Ron Harris.  Again we go to the back, where Hennig is receiving medical treatment.  Goldy comes into the room and starts to scream, “We need some help back here!  Can anyone help back here?!”  The fact that he is receiving the help he needs eludes her, and we go back to the ring.  James has Harris in the corner for the 10 punch count-along, and when they get to 5, Heavy D breaks it up, pulling James down from the corner.  Again James argues with the ref, and then walks into a big boot.  Bob Armstrong comes out from the back, telling Heavy D that he is no longer ref.  Don argues that he is calling the match down the middle (which is true), and Bullet Bob is only out there to protect his “fat ass son”.  As they make their way up the ramp, Heavy D knocks Bullet Bob unconscious with one punch.  Back in the ring James scores the win with a Schoolboy Roll-Up.  Way too much going on for the match to be enjoyable for me.

TNA Grrrls:  The first set of dates scroll by, and again I have to say that if there was a way that I could scroll-up for you, I would!

Next we get replays of the Ace Steel/Mortimer Plumtree v. Jorge Estrada/Priscilla feud.

Miss Priscilla & Jorge Estrada v. Ace Steel w/Mortimer Plumtree & Bruce:  Bruce was added to the mix when Plumtree was introduced but said that he would not lower himself by rolling on the mat with women.  He’s doing a reverse-Andy Kaufman here by saying, “I do not wrestle women!”  I love it!  Plumtree then says that he has procured the services of someone that is “more woman than Priscilla will ever be.”  As the heels come to the ring we see two fans in the audience dressed as Plumtree and Miss TNA.  The match is now basically a Handicap Match, and Ace Steel starts in the ring against Estrada.  Bruce chases Priscilla outside, and Estrada leaps over the top rope onto Bruce with a Suicide Dive.  Steel holds Estrada in position for a Powerbomb, and Bruce comes off the top turnbuckle with a Dropkick.  DW says that even if Bruce has not joined the Plumtree family, Mortimer has procured his services for 24 hours, which makes me wonder what “services” he’s talking about for the other 23 ½ hours!!  Priscilla is reaching for the tag, but Plumtree pulls her off the apron.  Estrada is able to hit the T.C.B., followed by the Springboard Moonsault, but when he goes up to the top turnbuckle, Bruce shakes the ropes causing Estrada to crotch himself on the turnbuckle.  Steel hits his finisher, then tags in Bruce, who gets the 3-count with a cover that looks too gay.  After the match, Plumtree comes in the ring, and they put Priscilla over his knee and he gives her a spanking.  The heels then commence the beatdown on Estrada before a cadre of referees comes out to break it up.

TNA Grrrls:  No dates scroll by.

Curt Hennig v. Jeff Jarrett:  Hennig stumbles to the ring, obviously dazed and disoriented, with his head bandaged and his shirt ripped, with blood smeared all over his chest.  Jarrett attacks from behind with a steel chair on the ramp, knocking Hennig unconscious.  Jarrett rolls him into the ring, hits The Stoke, and gets the 3-count.  Jarrett leaves the ring and brings in a steel chair.  As security comes to the ring ninja style, he either tosses them out of the ring or hits them with the chair.  Jarrett then stalks Jeremy Borash outside the ring before heading backstage.

TNA Grrrls:  The second set of dates scroll by as one of the dancers sucks on a lolly.

Jerry Lynn is interviewed by Goldy.  Long story short, Lynn is interested in getting revenge on Siaki, but his real goal is the World Heavyweight Title, which he refers to as the oldest recognized title in his sport.  Oh, for fuck’s sake, am I watching Nitro?

Next we get replays of the Lynn v. Siaki feud.

Sonny Siaki is next to be interviewed by Goldy.  He makes plenty of sexual innuendos, all the while doing things like sniffing Goldy’s hair.

Sonny Siaki v. Jerry Lynn:  This is the last of tonight’s Qualifying Matches for the World Title Tournament.  Lynn repeatedly displays that his knee is 100%, and Siaki changes his strategy from attacking the leg to the neck.  Hey!  They’re using psychology!  I had nearly forgotten that there was such a thing!  The crowd annoys me by chanting “Rocky Rip-Off” at Siaki…just because he is Samoan and not fat.  I suppose if he was fat he would be a “Rikishi Rip-Off”.  Is it any wonder I hate WWF fans?  As for in-ring action, Siaki dominates most of the match, working over the neck, dropping Lynn across the top rope and following that up with a Short-Arm Clothesline, and then a Leg Drop.  He goes for the pin, but only gets two.  Lynn starts to mount a comeback, but Siaki thwarts that with a Neckbreaker followed by an Inverted DDT.  When Siaki hits a Brainbuster on Lynn, Tenay says, “High Suplex Takeover, you notice when he dropped him down, he put extra impact almost Brainbuster-style that time on Lynn.”  I love you, Mike Tenay!  When Siaki climbs the turnbuckles, Lynn crotches him, then brings him off with a Superplex.  Lynn landed on the back of his neck however, and the match continues.  Lynn connects with a series of Clotheslines, followed by a Tornado DDT, but only gets a 2-count.  Fireman’s Carry into a Diamond Cutter (isn’t that the TKO?) by Lynn, but when he goes for the Cradle Piledriver, Siaki is able to Back Bodydrop him.  Ref bump!!  Siaki brings a steel chair into the ring, but swings and misses, and Lynn is able to hit the Van Daminator.  Lynn lays the chair on the mat, but Siaki reverses the move and hits a DDT onto the chair.  Siaki only gets two, but then after sending Lynn’s head into the turnbuckle, Siaki goes for the cover (with his feet on the second rope) and gets the win.  Lynn attacks Siaki after the match and they brawl up the ramp, where Lynn tosses Siaki off the ramp and into the safety rail.

TNA Grrrls:  Again no dates scroll by.

Next we get replays of the Syxx Pac v. Brian Lawler feud, to help set-up a match that won’t take place tonight, instead of getting replays of The Main Event which is coming up next.

Brian Lawler w/April interview by Goldy.  The gist of things here is that Lawler repeatedly claims that their relationship is perfect, and he demonstrates this by making-out with her, during which the camera shows us that April is uninterested.  I cannot stress how little I care.

As if we haven’t had enough of him, Brian Lawler comes to the ring with April for a promo.  A “fan” at ringside shoves him, and Lawler pulls him over the safety rail and roughs him up.  The “fan” appears to be wearing a hockey jersey, and so my guess is that he must play for the local bush league hockey team.  Lawler says that “because of assholes like him”, we are not going to hear what he has to say.

TNA Grrrls dance once again, with no dates scrolling by.

The Amazing Red v. AJ Styles (champ) w/Mortimer Plumtree:  This is your main event, and is for the X-Division Title…despite the enormous lack of hype for the match.  I have been a huge fan of Red’s for a long time now, and AJ Styles is probably my favorite of TNA’s stars.  Now let’s see if I can get into the match after the previous two hours has practically destroyed my enthusiasm.  After a series of Armdrags, Styles lands a Super Kick.  We’re still in the feeling-out period of the match, and get a series of reversals.  When Styles goes for a Belly-to-Back Suplex, Red lands on his feet.  Styles hits a Gut-Wrench Slam variation, and follows it up with a Brainbuster.  Styles goes for the cover but gets only two.  In the corner, and Styles comes off with a Moonsault, landing on his feet in position for the Inverted DDT, and slams Red to the mat.  I love that move!  Red comes back with a Tornado DDT, but only gets two.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but when Red makes it to the ropes, Styles turns it into a Powerbomb.  Red is able to mount a brief comeback, culminating with a Leg Sweep followed by the Red Star Press.  Styles again goes for the Styles Clash, which Red is able to reverse into a Snap Huricanrana.  Wow!  The momentum remains on Red’s side until Plumtree tries to trip Red, which distracts Red long enough to allow Styles to hit a Clothesline.  Styles then climbs the turnbuckles and signals to the crowd that the Spiral Tap is coming.  Red gets up and is able to crotch him on the turnbuckles, however.  Red climbs to the top and starts to go for another ‘Rana, but again Styles stops him and begins to set-up for the Styles Clash.  Red is again able to avoid it by raising up and landing a Huricanrana from the top, but Styles is able to roll-through, turning the ‘Rana into a Powerbomb, and gets the pin.  Great finish to a great match.

DW previews next week, which will include an X-Division Table Elimination Match between Kid Kash, Tony Mamaluke, the S.A.T. and Ace Steel…Jorge Estrada will take on Bruce, and if Estrada wins, Priscilla becomes Miss TNA…AJ Styles will defend the X-Division Title against Jerry Lynn…Jeff Jarrett will take on Curt Hennig in a grudge match…and BG James will go against Sonny Siaki in a second round match for the World Title Tournament, but West calls it a Qualifying Match, so I am left to wonder how many matches they will have to win before they actually qualify!!

In the end, I am quite frustrated.  How can they justify claiming WCW’s history as their own?  Just because Vinnie Mac isn’t using it doesn’t mean that it is up for grabs.  After spending four months convincing us that they honor tradition, and hyping the 54^th Anniversary show, they piss all over it by claiming that their title is more than 80 years old!

Let me use this example to describe my feelings:  We own the two-DVD set for the movie Dogma, and in the extra features section the director Kevin Smith introduces a guy (who’s name I forget) who’s job is to make sure that Smith doesn’t contradict himself when writing his movies.  When Smith is working on a script, he will hand it over to this guy, and if anything in the new script contradicts something from a previous movie, then it is re-written.  TNA desperately needs somebody to fill that role for them.

And where’s Low-Ki????????

The worst sin of all tonight was giving Brian Lawler’s stupid-ass feud ten minutes worth of replays and promos, even though the match would not take place tonight…and then the main event got zero hype.  Awful.  Absolutely awful.  There should have been a nice video package shown for those that might not have seen last week’s show, or for those that are tuning-in for the first time; but instead we got nothing because Red and AJ Styles aren’t big enough names.  I say “fuck you” to whomever is making these decisions for TNA.

Let’s see what the Big Names did tonight:  Scott Hall looked worse than a competitor on Tough Enough when he was trying to take a Front-Bump…Ron Harris is an all-around bad wrestler and should have been fired before The Dupps…BG James should be in a non-wrestling capacity…Curt Hennig’s best years were more than a decade ago (at least his in-ring segment lasted only a few minutes)…Jeff Jarrett is the only one that seems to understand that his role is to help get the younger guys over.

The highlights from tonight?  Well, the opening match between Kash and Mamaluke was pretty good, the Tag Titles Match was decent if a little predictable, the match with Estrada and Bruce served its role as comedy, Siaki v. Lynn was good, and the main event was fantastic.  The biggest name in any of that was Jerry Lynn, and he did the job in order to get the younger Siaki over.

Let me close with the Sign o’ the Night so that I can get on to recapping the anniversary show (a show that I enjoyed from top to bottom):  Heel Fans are Reel Fans is a good example of how mis-spelling a word can sometimes work in your favor, there was also Happy Halloween, I See Everyone Came As A Hillbilly Tonight!!, which is funny.  The true winner for me tonight, however is a curious sign that reads: Wildcat Chris Harris Owes Muggbee’s A Big Bar Tab, and I’m Here to Collect.  Not only is that a funny sign, but also it is quite possibly the most that I’ve ever seen written on a sign, and was able to actually read on TV.  Congrats!

PEACE

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