But you didn’t come here to read about me, so let’s get on with the Extreme Recap.

Extreme Heat

Extreme opening leads to footage outside of the “world famous” Hammerstein Ballroom.  Michael Cole greets us from the lobby, along with the Coach, wearing an ECW shirt with a red circle and slash through it.  Relatively nice touch.  We get the extended remix of video clips from Raw, reviewing the path of the Bischoff v. ECW feud.  To coin a phrase, I don’t recap recaps!

We’re back, and Coach says that is all we’re going to see of ECW tonight.  Michael Cole disagrees, and says that tonight we will meet…or be re-introduced to…the ECW locker room.

[ads]

Back live in the lobby, and Cole says the great fans in the Hammerstein Ballroom (yay!) were part of what ECW was all about.  Ok, from there, we go to footage from the Rise and Fall DVD, so go read the recap I did of that last week.  Amey is convinced that RVD was baked when he recorded his interview for the DVD, and after watching this footage again, I’m not going to doubt her!

They’re finally letting people in the doors, now that the cameras have gotten footage of the crowd wrapping around the block.  Michael Cole assures us that there is more footage of the invasion of Raw to come.  I will not make the same promise.

[ads]

“It was indeed Sabu that embodied the spirit of ECW,” Michael Cole says upon coming back.  He also remarks about the two local indy workers that the Coach has dressed in cop outfits…and then more Raw footage.  Wow, no wonder I don’t watch this show.  I will remark, however about how much I enjoyed seeing Paul Heyman’s haircut described as a “skullet”.  I don’t know if it was here at OO that I saw that, but it sure cracks me up!

[ads]

We’re back, where Cole and Coach comment on the draft lottery, and plug Vengeance.  Then we get footage from Raw of the contract signing between Triple H and Batista.  The fuck?  After that, Coach and Cole preview all the announced matches for Raw this week, including Stone Cold Court.  I’m begging them to go to commercials so I can flip to the countdown show.

[ads]

That ad break included the Dudley’s’ flaming table ad…I really dig that ad.  When we come back to the Hammerstein Ballroom, the fans are chanting “Chris Candido” (clap, clap, clap clap clap).  The chant is completely ignored by Coach and Cole as they introduce footage of Kurt Angle’s feud against Tazz.

[ads]

We’re just minutes away, and we’re going back to footage from Smackdown.  So much for being re-introduced to the ECW locker room.

PPV Countdown Show

OK, so since I am using the dvr to record this show, why not recap it…I guess I’m looking at 10:30 before the show ends.  Oy.  After the expected ECW video opening, it says “WWE Free For All”…what is that the name of the countdown show?  I guess it is, or at least it is according to our host Marc Loyd.  Mr. Loyd then introduces the Raw footage that was shown on Heat.  You know, this is probably going to be easier than I thought, to recap two shows at once, since both shows are just recaps themselves!

Back to Marc Loyd, as he sets-up for another montage of Raw footage.

We’re back, and Loyd wonders how extreme the night will get, given that this could be the last hurrah for many of the ECW stars.  Then is it time for…ads?

[ads]

Yes, the ppv show had an ad break and showed the “Don’t Try This At Home” and an ECW ad.  Then Marc Lyod introduces the same DVD footage that was shown on Heat.  Jesus.

Loyd next brings us the footage of Kurt Angle’s feud with Tazz.  Why am I even typing this?

Loyd tells us that Tazz has vowed to make Angle “just another victim” if he shows-up tonight…so why not put Tazz in front of a camera, and let him say so himself?  Eh, forget it, because Marc Loyd says that is all the time we have tonight.

One Night Stand

We start with shots of the crowd, and then The Voice of ECW, Joey Styles makes his way to the ring.  A thunderous “Joey!” chant seems to have him choked-up, but he starts with “Oh My God!” and things are underway.  He then introduces his broadcast colleague for the night, Mick Foley!  Awesome.

Cut to the video montage so we can get the show started all nice and official.

Lance Storm (w/Dawn Marie) v. Chris Jericho: Calgary Style Match.  Storm reached his greatest success as one half of the ECW Tag Team champions, the Impact Players.  Mick tells us that tonight is probably Storm’s last match.  Jericho is introduced as “Lionheart”, and is wearing old-school tights and vest.  During the opening moments, Dawn Marie is the recipient of the night’s first “She’s a crack whore” chant.  Storm sent to the outside, where he is lucky to land on mats mandated by the New York authorities.  Joey assures us that in any other city, there would be no mats on the concrete floor!

Storm begins to control the match, but miscalculates by leaping backwards out of the corner, as Jericho meets him with a Dropkick to the head.  Jericho starts to come back, and the crowd chants, “Chris Candido!?”  Come on folks, watch the match you paid to see, fer christ’s sake!

I should mention that the referee for the match is Mike Keeter, because Dawn Marie distracted him as Justin Credible and Jason made their way to ringside.  Jericho dispatches them easily, and goes for a roll-up.  Storm kicks him off into the ropes, and Credible is there with the caneshot.  Lance Storm wins the first match of the night.

The Pitbull Gary Wolfe introduces a video montage of former ECW stars that are no longer with us.  I’m not going to list all the names, but it was a cool segment.

Tajiri (w/Sinister Minister & Mikey Whipwreck) v. Little Guido (w/The FBI: Big Guido, Tracy Smothers, JT Smith and Tony Mamaluke) v. Super Crazy: International 3-Way Dance.  Joey reminds those WWE fans out there that this is an elimination-style match.  John Finnegan is assigned to referee the match, the poor bastard.  Mick Foley tells us that he tagged with Tracy Smothers in Japan and won the IWA titles, so he is rooting for Super Crazy, because he is the only one with enough sense to not hang-out with one of Mick’s former partners…or something like that.

The match spills outside quickly, and Crazy climbs to the first balcony and takes-out the entire FBI with a Moonsault.  While Joey and Mick are watching the replays of the dive, Crazy has Tajiri up for the 10-punch count along.  The FBI pulls Crazy outside, as Big Guido slides in and lifts Tajiri for a Powerbomb, but Tajiri sprays mist into Little Guido’s face in the corner.  Mikey Whipwreck slides in and hits the Whipersnapper, enabling Tajiri to get the pin on Little Guido.

Crazy goes for the three-consecutive moonsaults, but from outside, Mikey breaks up the third one.  Tajiri goes for the Buzzsaw-like kick, but Crazy ducks, hits a Powerbomb, and goes for the top-rope Moonsault again.  This time he connects, and gets the pinfall.  Huh.  That seemed awfully short.  We’re only 30 minutes in, and we’ve already had two matches, one being an elimination 3-way dance.

Extreme Montage:  This is a history-of-ECW piece, including the famous chair-throwing incident, a promo of Sandman’s in which he says, “Life’s a bitch…and then you marry one.”  There’s other footage mixed in there, but most of it has been shown on WWE television already.

There is an extended segment of “this show is brought to you by” footage.

Psycosis v. Rey Mysterio: Extreme Lucha Libre Match.  Over the weekend I watched a couple of ECW matches on the DVD to get myself even more fired up…including the 2 out of 3 falls match between these two.  Not the greatest match either guy has had, but it was certainly exciting.  Plus, it was neat to see footage of Mysterio without any visible tattoos!  Psycosis removes his mask before the match, and Mick mistakenly says that this is the first time he has ever been seen without a mask in the US.  Joey corrects him and says that it is the first time he removed the mask after wearing it to the ring.  Joey goes on to tell us that Mysterio’s uncle (the original Rey Mysterio) gave him permission to drop the “Jr” from his name.  As the match gets going, the fans start to chant “Put the mask on” at Psycosis.  Poor guy.  Psycosis is in control as we go outside, where he perches Mysterio across the metal barricade, and then hits the big Legdrop from the top rope!  He brings Mysterio back into the ring, but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Mysterio to regain control of the match.

Psycosis goes flying out of the ring and into the front row, and Mysterio meets him there with a diving Thesz Press from the top rope.  They come back in, and Mysterio hits a Dropkick to the back, which sends Psycosis into the ropes for the 619.  Mysterio gets the 1, 2, 3.

While Mysterio celebrates in the ring, the anti-ECW crusaders arrive, and Joey chastises them for demanding to be a part of this show.  The fans get a little more to the point with a “Fuck you, Smackdown” chant.  Joey says to the guys in the truck, “Just roll anything.”

Roadkill (w/Danny Doring):  Roadkill gives us the international Points to Self sign.  Doring comes into the frame, and then it cuts back to live footage before Doring finishes.  Classic ECW moment.

Extreme Video Montage #2: Lots of random footage, including the stuttering Buh Buh Ray Dudley saying to the crowd, “Let’s Get Ready To Ru-Ru-Rumble!”  Less of this footage has been seen on Raw or Smackdown…or even the DVD.  It ends with footage of Tazz winning the World Title.

Dirty Poem Interlude: Joel Gertner walks up to the WWE crusaders, and gets just two lines into his poem before Angle and JBL take his mic and kick him out.  Angle and then JBL each cut a promo on the fans.  Definitely the low point of the night so far.

Thankfully, RVD and Bill Alphonzo make their way to the ring to put an end to the WWE shenanigans, and JBL’s mic goes out.  Ha ha!  RVD correctly says that fans are tired of having the likes of JBL and Angle shoved down their throats each time that they want to watch wrasslin’.  They actually bleeped him when he said “Whole Fucking Show.”  RVD says that when he was ECW TV Champ, it was the greatest time of his career.  He takes personal credit for offering the idea for this ppv to Vince in the first place.  He says that missing this event because of his knee injury means more to him than missing Wrestlemania.  Just then, Rhyno appears and gores Van Dam.  Rhyno pulls RVD’s knee brace off and stomps a mudhole in RVD until the lights go out.  Any ECW fan out there worth their salt knows who it is…it’s Sabu!  A referee slides into the ring, and we’re going to have a match!

Rhyno v. Sabu (w/Bill Alphonzo):  Unannounced Extreme Match.  It’s on, and the crowd is hot for Sabu.  Rhyno hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex to gain control early, but when he starts to climb the turnbuckles, Sabu brings a chair in to send Rhyno falling to the floor.  Triple Jump Plancha to the floor by Sabu almost misses (another classic ECW moment).  Sabu sets-up a table outside, but Rhyno tosses him back into the ring and begins to control the match again.  He again gets caught climbing the turnbuckles, and Sabu brings him back in with a Hurricanrana from the top.  Air Sabu into the opposite corner, and Rhyno falls out or the corner into the chair.  After a two-count, Sabu goes for the Triple-Jump Moonsault, but Rhyno trips him up and Sabu goes face first into the chair.  Referee John “Pee Wee” Moore steps-in to check on Sabu, and gets pulled into an oncoming Gore from Rhyno.  With the ref down, Rhyno hits a Piledriver on Sabu, but RVD slides back into the ring and throws a chair into Rhyno’s face.  With Rhyno down in the corner, RVD skateboard’s the chair into his face.  Fonzie and RVD set the table up in the ring, lay Rhyno out on it, and Sabu flies from the top with the chair, hitting the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (which Joey refers to as the Arabian Skull Crusher) through the table.  The pinfall is academic at that point.  Sabu is your winner.

Head (w/Al Snow) promo: Snow accuses Head of calling the WWE crusaders and inviting them to the ppv.  This leads to another video montage, including footage of both Snow & Head, and the Blue World Order.

Bischoff and the Raw contingent arrive, and Bischoff gets beer sprayed into his face by a fan.  That’s good stuff.

Chris Benoit v. Eddie Guerrero: Technical Wrasslin’ Match.  This match begins one hour, twenty-five minutes into the event, with only one other announced match to go.  I sure hope that doesn’t mean the WWE Invasion is going to get twenty minutes to close the show.  Mike Keeter is back out to referee this match, and he looks like he’s put on some weight since I ran into him in the bathroom at an event in Milwaukee.  Halfway through the event that night, he was in the public bathroom brushing his teeth…definitely the oddest run-in I’ve ever had with a wrassler!  Guerrero rolls out when Benoit begins to get control of the match, and when he rolls back in he is able to take control…until he challenges Benoit to a Backhand Chop contest.  Benoit gets the best of that exchange, but Eddie regains control with a thumb to the eye.  Eddie goes for a resthold, which prompts the crowd to chant “Fuck you, Bischoff!”

Guerrero ducks a charge by Benoit, and we go back outside.  Eddie brings him back in the hardest of ways, with a Superplex from the top turnbuckle.  Guerrero is bleeding from the bridge of the nose as he climbs the turnbuckles in the opposite corner.  He took too long, and Benoit rolls out of the way of the Frogsplash.  Northern Lights w/a Bridge by Benoit gets two!  He takes Eddie to the top, and this time it is Benoit who brings his opponent back in with a Superplex.  Benoit hits the trifecta of Germans, and then lands the Diving Headbutt…Eddie kicks out at two-and a half!  Guerrero swings wildly, and Benoit catches him and cinches-in the Crossface.  After a long dramatic pause, Guerrero taps out.  It looks like Guerrero and Benoit are about to shake hands in the ring, so this is the perfect time for some…

[ads for Vengeance]

Dirty Poem Interlude #2:  Joel says that he has a question for Bischoff…the same question that every ECW employee has on their minds, “Can I have a job?”  Unfortunately, Bischoff gets more mic time than Gertner does during this segment.

Mike Awesome (w/o Judge Jeff Jones) v. Masato Tanaka:  Unannounced Japanese Hardcore Style Match.  Joey Styles holds no bars chastising Awesome during the opening moments of the match for breaching his contract with ECW and going to WCW…that’s covered in the DVD recap that I did, so go read that if you don’t know what I’m talking about.  The big men quickly pour outside, where Awesome sets a table up on the railing in the corner.  He gets up on the apron, hoists Tanaka up for the Awesomebomb…powerbombing him through the table, and Tanaka appeared to over-rotate, landing squarely on the back of his head.  Somehow, he kicks out when Awesome drags him back into the ring.  They both bring chairs into the ring, and Awesome connects with a series of three wicked chairshots (for those of you that haven’t seen Tanaka, he never puts his hands up when he gets hit in the head with a chair).  Somehow, Tanaka not only gets back to his feet, but actually controls the match briefly with several variations of the chair shot.  Awesome hits a Spear, and that offers him enough time to bring a table in the ring.  He puts Tanaka on the top turnbuckle, but Tanaka reverses it into a Tornado DDT through the table.  1, 2, no!  Awesome takes him back up, and brings Tanaka down with a top-rope Awesomebomb through the remnants of the table.  1, 2, no!

Awesome goes back outside and sets another table up at ringside as the fans chant, “This Match Rules!”  Awesomebomb over the top rope and through the table to the floor, followed by a dive through the ropes, and Awesome gets the pinfall on the floor.  Before leaving the ring, Awesome delivers a Powerbomb referee to Jim Molineaux. 

The Boss Arrives:  Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring, and immediately falls to his knees to thank the fans.  With a tear in his eye, he soaks-up the chant of “Thank You, Paul!”  First thing he has to say is to assure us that his eyes are not red from crying, but from smoking a joint with Van Dam in the back.  He thanks Tod Gordon, the producers of the TV show in the front row, and also thanks the fans…pointing directly at Heavy Metal Guy as he does so.  He says that he was going to take the high road, but instead has a few words for Eric Bischoff.  “Oh no, hide your wives, it’s Edge,” is followed up with “two words” for Edge, “Matt f’n Hardy!”  Edge correctly notes that that was three words.  He throws his hat to the crowd in order to give everyone a good look at his skullet, and we’re out.

[ads for a movie by Rob Zombie?]

The Dudley Boys (w/o Joel Gertner) v. Tommy Dreamer & Sandman (w/kendo stick, cigarette and at least five beers): Hardcore Main Event Match.  Sandman first appears in the balcony, and one of the fans next to him grabs the kendo stick and hits himself repeatedly in the head with it.  When he makes his way to ringside, he has a beer for Dreamer and the producers and some other ECW alumni peppering the front row, including Electra, who is happy to have a beer poured onto her chest and licked off by Dreamer and Sandman.  John Finnegan is your referee, but before things can get started, the music of the Blue World Order fires up and Big Stevie Cool, Hollywood Nova & Da Blue Guy make their way to the ring.  Meanie, who had lost a bunch of weight last time I saw him, appears to have put most of it back on.  Bischoff is shown enjoying the deafening “bWo” chants.  Stevie announces that you can not have a true hardcore invasion without the bWo.  Stevie-kick for Dreamer.  Kid Kash makes his way to the ring, and gets dumped rather unceremoniously.  Then the hardcore chair-swinging freaks come out.  Balls and Axl take-out the bWo, and then the Dudleys toss them out.  With everyone gathered in the aisle, Kash instructs the ref to kneel down near the ropes, and uses him to launch himself into the aisle.  The extra-curriculars appear to be over, as everyone just kinda makes their way to the back, and the match is going to start.

Dreamer has a cheese grater, but Bubba hits him with a Belly-to-Back Suplex.  Dreamer then tastes the cheese grater, courtesy of Bubba Ray.  Mick says that if Bubba Ray is a cheap rip-off of Cactus Jack, then he is proud to say that Cactus Jack is a cheap rip-off of Terry Funk.  Things have completely broken down, with ladders, trash cans, and frying pans all coming into play.  In the ring, D-Von is laid-out under the ladder, and Sandman dives off the top with a Flipping Senton onto the ladder.  Then, with Sandman laid-out on top of the ladder, Bubba comes off the second rope with a Frogsplash.  D-Von goes for a shot with the kendo stick, but Sandman ducks, and then takes D-Von out with the White Russian Legsweep.  We get our first pair of actual wrasslin’ holds as Dreamer and Sandman put Bubba and D-Von into stereo Figure Fours.

The Impact Players rush the ring, and Justin Credible hits the Tombstone Piledriver on the Sandman onto a ball of barbed wire that he brought to the ring with him.  Storm and Credible hold Dreamer as Francine slides into the ring and kicks Tommy in the balls.  It’s Beulah!  It’s Beulah!  That’s right folks, Beulah makes her return to wrasslin’ to save her man and roll around the ring for a few seconds with Francine.  Tommy and Beulah then hit the Dudleys with stereo DDTs (although to be honest, Beulah forgot to fall backwards until Bubba was already flat on his stomach).  The Dudleys hit the 3-D on Dreamer, set another table up in the ring, and Li’l Spike Dudley comes out from the back with lighter fluid in his pocket.  The table is lit, Dreamer goes through it, and the Dudleys get the win.

After the pinfall, they drag Beulah into the ring, but Sandman clears the ring with kendo shots for everyone.  He turns to what’s left of Dreamer, and calls to the back, “Get me a beer.”

K-RASH!!!  Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring, wearing a Las Vegas Outlaws XFL jersey.  Austin says that he wants the entire ECW locker room to come to the ring, to share a beer with all of them.  If I’ve mentioned their names during this recap, they are in the ring, with the exception of Dreamer and Beulah.  Before passing out the beers, Austin has a few words for the WWE contingent, inviting them to the ring for a fight.  He says that he is going to sit at ringside and drink a beer and watch what happens.

The crusaders make their way to the ring, and the fans chant, “We want Tazz!”  As Bischoff sits down at the announce position, Tazz comes out wearing an FTW jersey, and a big bandage on his forehead.  Angle makes the first move, and Tazz drops him outside, and locks in the Tazmission on the floor.  Its pure chaos in the ring, and the WWE guys are outnumbered almost 2:1, so several of the ECW guys are just standing around by the end of the fight.

The WWE guys are dispatched quickly, and when Austin climbs into the ring wearing JBL’s hat, he asks Foley to bring Bischoff to the ring.  Mick obliges, and none of the WWE guys appear to be interested in helping Raw’s General Manager escape.  The Dudleys deliver the 3-D to Bischoff, followed by a Diving Headbutt from Benoit, and a 619 from Mysterio.  At that point, Austin asks Bischoff for comments, which get bleeped…but it ends with Bischoff eating a Stunner from Austin, and the Dudleys carry Bischoff’s limp body out of the arena as the rest of the locker room enjoys a beer in the ring with Austin.  Al Snow sees to it that even Head gets a drink from his beer!

Joey Styles closes the show by thanking the fans and with the words, “ECW lives!”

Closing thoughts: Well, Heat and the countdown show were both completely useless.  No “Pulp Fiction” segment, no interviews with any of the ECW competitors, and the fact that both shows had the same footage was especially annoying.  Really, how hard would it have been to line the talent up, and give them each 45 seconds in front of a camera?  At the very least, they could’ve made the shows different in some way besides just who the announcer(s) is/are.  Flipping between the two shows in the last minutes before the ppv began; I got confused about which show I was watching, because they were showing the same Smackdown footage at the same time.

There were some minor timing-issues early, but I might not have noticed that if I hadn’t been recapping the show as it aired.  The 3-Way Dance was the only match that seemed to be too short.  All in all, this was pretty much what I was hoping it would be…with the exception of one exclusion: CW Anderson.  Joey assured us that he was there and part of the final angle, but I really would’ve liked to have seen him in a match.

Thumbs way up from this guy!

PEACE