by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

WrestleMania: What was it to me? Well, it was awesome. Point blank. The opinions of various members of the IWC notwithstanding, I felt that the Fed did an awesome job with the storytelling. The only weak spot (and I seem to not be alone in this opinion) was Limp Bizket's craptacular performances (Was it just me, or did the Dancing girls during Undertakers entrance seem to be losing enthusiasm as the song went on?) and the Miller Lite Catfight girls, while hot, didn't get nearly naked enough. Oh yeah, and While Booker T should have walked away with the title last night, it was the Cruiserweights and their 5 minute match that really got robbed.

WWE Leader, and we show off some off the highlight reel from the end of last nights Epic Extravaganza. HBK getting the stadium pyro treatment was a damn big mark out moment for me, as was Vince’s demented, blood covered expression. The botched shooting star press is still rapid-intake-of-breath worthy.

"Lets get it on!" Pyro lights us up, and we are live from Seattle, and we go directly backstage and Rock tells off the makeup guy for trying to apply some makeup to the Peoples Face. He re-informs us that it's Rock appreciation night. When the crowd doesn't respond in a way that he likes, he reiterates, drawing even more boo's. He decides that he does need a bit of makeup, has the makeup guy dab a little on his cheek, and praises the Peoples pimple. Rock heads out.

Out in the arena, and Stone Cold is out (without the noticeable limp he had after his match last night). Stone Cold, while disrespectful, has always been honest, and he can admit that Rock was the better man last night. But that doesn't mean that he will be the better man two nights in a row. He calls Rock out to shake his hand and express this to his face, but gets Bischoff instead. He's mad, and he's got papers. Eric can see right through Steve, and knows he wants to kick Rocks ass. He begs to differ with Steve, and tells him that he won't be kicking Rocks ass tonight, and not only that, he won't be kicking anybody’s ass ANYTIME! He says that he heard about Steve Austin’s trip to the hospital Saturday night, so he sent his lawyers to investigate. They found out that not only are Stone Colds 3rd and 4th vertebrae fused, but he needs to get his 5th and 6th. His spine is seriously fucked up, and the Doctor is vehemently against Steve wrestling again. Steve doesn't like that Eric looked into his personal business, and he doesn't care what any doctor says, that he'll get out there and wrestle, kick ass, raise hell, whatever he wants to do. Eric disagrees, tho, and says that because of the liability that Steve presents to the company, that his position is terminated. In short, "You're Fired!" Steve says, “You can't fire me.” Eric says, “Oh yeah, in fact, a fed ex copy of your termination papers are on their way to your home in Texas, so make no mistake about it, YOU'RE FIRED!" We get extreme close-ups on both Eric and Stone Cold, and we fade to commercial.

Back live, and Stone Cold paces backstage with a somber look on his face.

Out to the arena, and HHH is out to wrassle! Wow, 2 nights in a row! His opponent tonight? The Hurricane! So, will we get a Taka match tonight, or a Maven? King ponders the performance of Limp Bizket at WrestleMania, while I stifle my gag reflex. Hurricane gives a kid his mask. Ric Flair is right behind him to snatch the mask off and stomp on it, making the kid cry. Hurricane takes umbrage and goes after Ric. He gets a brief flurry of pounds before HHH stops that and drags him in the ring. Brief flurry of offense by the Hurricane is stopped by HHH. HHH with the knife-edges, standard punches and knees. Hurricane comes back with some offense, and Ric trips him up. Hurricane chases him off, and then follows him up with a dropkick. He then returns to deliver THE CHOKESLAM! HOLY SHIT, IT ACTUALLY HIT! Ric pulls him off during the cover, tho. Hurricane kicks him off, flies around HHH some more, and hits the Eye of the Hurricane! 1! 2! No! HHH back up, tries for a Pedigree, Hurricane back body drop's him. Hurricane tries for another choke slam, but HHH kicks him down, Pedigree, and that's it.

Backstage, Kane paces. RVD runs in. Kane has some words for him and RVD is all “Good, because I’ve got something to tell you!” Kane has been thinking, and after their match last night, he thinks they should break up. RVD is all, “All right... BUT!" And he goes on to inform him that he just negotiated with Chief Morley to get them a rematch for the Tag Titles tonight, with no interference guaranteed. Kane knows there is a catch, and RVD tells him that if they lose, then they have to join the Bischoff/Morley regime. Kane goes nuts, but RVD is like, "Hey, it' not like we're going to lose.”

They show the Goldberg Backlash ad from WrestleMania, then they come back to the arena to get the last remnants of a “Goldberg!” chant fade into random cheering. JR, “Do you hear that Goldberg chant?” Yeah JR, and it’s pretty weak…

The Lugs boot of the night is Trish with the Power of Confetti from WrestleMania last night.

And right now, Big Papa Pump is out to take on Christopher Nowinski. Chris has a protective facemask that is making him look weird, not unlike the denizens of Seattle. Chris asks Scott not to punch him in his face, so as not to mess up the $30,000 worth of surgery. Steiner informs him that it's about to become $30k wasted, and goes after him. Chris tries to bail, but Steiner chases him down, drags him back, and begins the beat down. He brawls over him for a bit, and then goes for a bit of mat wrestling to humiliate him. Goes for the pin, but opts to continue the punishment and pumps out a few taunting push-ups. Chris gets some jobber offense in, But its all for naught, as Steiner hits a couple belly to belly’s, slaps on the Steiner Recliner, and Chris can't stand the pain as he taps out (actually, more like flails out, but the ref got the point.)

Backstage, Terri corners Stone cold as he comes out of his dressing room. She asks if it's true, Stone cold gives her the 3rd degree. "Yes my neck is crap, yes Eric fired me. You happy?" Terri breaks eye contact and mumbles, "No, thank you for your time." Stone cold looks after her as she runs off.

It's a Rock appreciation moment, with a compilation of his best Guitar pickin' moments.

To the announce position, King loved the package, but JR just can't get over Eric’s firing of Stone Cold. He has some not nice words for Eric. Quick hype for Chris Jericho vs. Booker T (JR: "Yeah, what of it?")

Backstage with The Dudley’s, and they lament their lot in life. Chief Morley and Lance Storm are in to inform them that the Tag Title match has been changed to a 3-way elimination match. But that title is in name only, as the Dudley’s are to assist them in eliminating RVD and Kane, then lay down so the Storm and Chief can retain. D-Von begins to protest, but Bubba interjects and says No problem.

Elsewhere, Booker is getting his knees taped up. Ric decides that it's a good idea to come in and taunt Booker T. Booker take umbrage at this and decides to beat down on whitey! He tells Flair to NEVER get in his business again, and throws him out of the room.

Back from commercial, and we reshow Ashanti's rendition of America the Beautiful from WrestleMania.

Cut to the present, and 3 Minute Warning is in the ring (- Jamal), and Maven is out to take on Rosie. Maven attacks quickly, trying to get an advantage, but Rosie overpowers him. Choking him on the ropes, when the ref pulls him off, Rico pulls Maven out. Rosie drags him back in, tries to power bomb him, Maven flips over him, and misses a Dropkick to Rosie’s back. They do some sloppy improvisation, and Maven gets a schoolboy for 2. Rosie picks Maven up for another power bomb, he flips out of it again, they run around a bit, and Maven ends the pain with a rollup to win, making himself 2-0 against members of 3MW.

We recap King being the Celebrity Photographer for the Playboy Cyber Girl of the month. He tries to hit the Greco-roman liplock but it's reversed into the "No way!" The girl is cute, but her enthusiasm for being photographed by King is very poorly acted.

The Slam of the night is Chris Jericho's nut shot on HBK last night.

Back to the present day, Jericho is out to take on Booker T. Before the match, he has the mic. He just wants HBK to know that his match against him last night was one of the best in his career, and he just wants to say thank you. But really, HBK should be thank you to him. Jericho outclassed him, outwrestled him, and he deserved to win that match! But when people remember WrestleMania XIX, they will remember HBK writing in pain while Jericho walked out with his head held high. He goes over his "Highlight of the night!" catchphrase, and begins to ramble as Booker interrupts him with his entrance.

Jericho sneak attacks with a chop block to start, and sets the theme early by keeping on the taped knee (way to put a target on, there, Book!) Jericho bounces the knee on the ropes, but when he tries again, Booker boots him over the top. Jericho back in, and he eats some knife-edges. Jericho grabs and starts to apply the walls, but Booker grabs for an inside cradle. Back up, and booker slaps him around. Jericho Kicks Booker coming off the ropes, and goes for the Lionsault, which misses. Booker tries to go after him, but is interrupted by Ric Flair. Booker makes short work of him, but Jericho attacks from behind and it's a 2 on 1 beat down. HHH joins them and as Jericho pats him on the back, hits a pedigree. Ric slaps on the figure 4. They threaten more beating, but HBK runs in for the save! Clothesline for Jericho, clothesline for HHH, Ric clotheslined out of the ring. Shawn tunes up the band for HHH, but Jericho sideswipes him and they begin the beat down again. They finish the both of them off with HBK in the walls of Jericho, and HHH applying that weird looking reversed figure 4. We go to commercial with both men writhing in pain.

Jericho siding with HHH, the man that held him down for 4 years? Shawn Michaels helping Booker, a man he super kicked out of the NWO? What kind of bizarro universe is this?

Moments ago, some not nice things happened in bizarro world.

Back to reality, Jeff Hardy is out and his opponent is Steven Richards, and he's had a catchphrase added to his generic stock music ("I’ll show you! You’ll see!")

Jeff gives him the loopy loon sign, and King notes the irony of it. Lockup, and Jeff is forced to the corner. Jeff reverses and hits the chest crusher. Steven bails, Jeff tries to run the rails, but Victoria saves. Back in the ring, and Steven takes over, getting blue shit all over him self. You can't really look psycho when you have a blue grease painted nose, you know? Jeff fights out of a standing arm bar, breaking it with a jawbreaker. Jeff takes over with the standard stuff. Jeff goes up for something, and Victoria grabs him to interrupt. Trish runs down to stop that. Vickie tries for a clothesline; Trish ducks and hits the glass jaw kick. Steven tries to run up on Jeff, but Jeff shoves him off. Swanton, Cover, 1-2-3! Trish jumps in and raises Jeff’s hand. They share a tender moment, and Jeff separates the ropes for her, and no Jazz to interruption this time!

Backstage, Stone cold has finally packed all his gear, and as he passes a group of techies, he shakes hands with them all. A heartfelt, "Goodbye, Stone Cold, we'll miss you" and Stone cold walks off into the night.

The next Raw Appreciation moment is Rock talking smack about just about everyone.

Backstage, and Test is on the phone apparently engaging in phone sex as Goldust stands in the background. Stacy walks up and Test tries the "Wrong Number" cover. Dumb ass that he is, he asks Goldust to back him up, and through the wonder of tourettes, Goldie spits out that he was talking about Torrie's playboy spread. Stacy, who didn't care less up to that point, rushes off in a huff. Test calls Goldie an idiot.

Backstage, the Rock happens upon the group of techies and tells them to turn those frowns upside down. It's Rock appreciation night; they still have the Rock to take care of. To cheer them up, he tells them he'll take them all out for pie. But they can't come into the club. Rock departs leaving them in their previous state.

Back from commercial, and last night, they set a new Safeco Field attendance record.

Now! It’s time for a little hellfire and brimstone, and Kane/RVD are out to take on the whole of the Bischoff/Morley administration, minus Eric, of course.

Duds and faces start off. Duds get cleared out in short order, this brings in Chief and Storm, and they are tossed as well. RVD follows up with a somersault plancha, taking out all 4 men. RVD encourages Kane, and he follows that up with a slingshot flying cross body on all four himself! Back in the ring, and RVD and D-Von start. RVD mat wrestles him for a bit, going for a pin, getting 2. Bubba tagged in, so RVD tags Kane in. Bubba goes after him to start, Kane returns, but missed an elbow drop. Bubba tags D-Von in and they hit whassup! D-Von trying some offense, but Kane powers out. Rights for Chief and storm, and D-Von eats a sidewalk slam. Tag to RVD, and he's hot in after D-Von. Lance and Chief try to interfere, but RVD gets all aerial on them. Rolling thunder for D-Von, Bubba charges in, eats a spinning heel. RVD up for the frog splash, that misses. Lance in with a steel chair, Ref stopping him, but Chief has a chair of his own. Bubba holds RVD, but as he swings, chair is snatched by D-Von. D-Von threatens Chief with it, Bubba tackles him out and D-Von eats a Van Daminator. Cover, 1-2-3 and the Dudley’s are eliminated. Chief is furious, but Bubba gets in his face telling him that he saved him and we break for commercial.

Back live, and Lance is working RVD's knee over in the corner on the post. Tag to Chief, and he hits a hat trick of verticals. Cover, but Kane interrupts. Chief is peeved at this. Tag to Lance, and Lance lays in with the boots. Cover, RVD kicks out. RVD whipped off the ropes, and Lance takes him down, locking in the Maple Leaf. RVD crawls for the ropes, but when he doesn't make it, he struggles up and misses an Enzuigiri, but hits a mule kick. Tag to Kane, and he's a BALL O FAR! Boots, punches, and sidewalk slams all around. Cover for Chief, he kicks out. Kane goes up, he flies! 1-2-Storm interrupts! RVD takes care of him, spinning heel for Chief. Kane signals for the choke slam, but Lance takes RVD out. Kane slaps the choke onto Lance, but as the ref is distracted, Chief nut-shots him. Chief goes for the cover, Kane Kicks out! Chief can't believe it! He and Lance go after Kane, but Kane comes back with a double choke slam! Chief is down, but Kane opts to tag RVD in. He signals for RVD to go up, RVD obliges, 5***** Frog splash! 1! 2! 3! We have new tag champions! Kane and RVD celebrate, Kane lights the ring posts!

Backstage, and Eric is yakkin on the phone. He tells whoever it is (I know it's not CRZ, he's stopped taking Eric's calls), that if they thought the firing of Austin was shocking, just wait, the best is yet to come. In fact, the ink on the contract is still wet. He has an evil chuckle, and we cut to a quick promo for Rock Appreciation night next!

Back, and we have just found out that set for next week, Chris Jericho and HHH will be taking on Shawn Michaels and Booker T!

Rock is out, and getting the red carpet in the ring treatment. THE DUDE WITH THE COOL KELLMANIA SIGN FROM WRESTLEMANIA IS OUT THERE! JR is sickened by Kings verbal fellating of the Rock. Rock has a mic. "Finally!" and Rock isn't pleased with the reaction the crowd is giving him. He goes again: "Finally!" and this time is interrupted by a loud and vociferous "You Suck!" Chant. "Finally, the Rock has come back to Sea.... To Sea... To see all of you Jobronies show appreciation to the Great One!" He actually is sorry to see Stone Cold go. He loved that they put on the match of a lifetime last night. He tells Stone Cold that hindsight is 20/20 and that had he known that it would be his last match, that he wouldn't have gone out and gotten beat by 3 rock bottoms. But that's enough of that; it's time for a video package set to Puff Daddy's "Come with me." They leave out the Godzilla scream at the end of the song. After soaking in a Rocky sucks chant for a second, he says thanks, and goes on to explain his accomplishments. The crowd chants "Goldberg!" Rock comes back: 'Hey, How did you know the name of my accountant, Ira Goldberg?" Rock goes on to explain that since he's done it all, that it's time for the rock to leave! He goes to ramble on, and Suddenly DUN! DUN! DUN-DUN! Goldberg is here! Pyro! Goldberg is in the ring! They circle, and the crowd proves Pavlov right by starting up a Goldberg chant. He's got a mic! "So Rock, you wanna know who's next, eh? YOU'RE NEXT!" Rock gets indignant, and eats a SPEAR! Goldberg up, and out of the ring. Goldberg yells for the crowd, Rock looks on in uncertainty, and we are outta here!

Well, that was as good a follow-up show as you could expect from WrestleMania. From the bombshell of Stone Cold's neck injury and subsequent firing (Work? Shoot? Who cares, it was good drama), to WWE making up for the tag title disappointment from last night to the return of Goldberg, this was a very enjoyable show. They kept the energy from last night and worked on it. Booker and HBK still feuding with HHH and Jericho has been making for good TV so far, and looks like it will continue to do so, maybe eventually culminating with Booker finally getting that title at Backlash. Speaking of HBK, I think that tonight’s action saw more work from him in the past 24 hours then we've seen in the past 3 months. All this points to some great TV to come in the next month building to Backlash. Let's hope that WWE can keep it up.

E-MAIL BIG DANNY T.
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