But maybe that's just me and my biases? Well, whatever, it's also my website! But mostly, it's also my RAW Recap! So let's cut the chatter and get to the action...

Opening I Don't Even Know What To Call It: So RAW starts, and for 10 minutes, they basically rerun the entire Bischoff/Eugene Match and post-match antics from Taboo Tuesday.  I swear: 10 minutes, the entire thing.  No intro comments, no nothing, just the PPV match aired again. And for what it was, I thought it was sorta overlong AT THE PPV, and now we're seeing the whole damned thing again? Way to punish those of us who went out of our way to shell out our money for your superfluous pay-per-view event, WWE!  DVR, dammit, you do your thing... [Note: due to the vagaries of The Rick's schedule, I actually got situated a little late last night, and then, even once I was couch-bound, found myself watching the excellent episode of "Family Guy" that was on TBS instead of going directly to RAW. As a result, I actually ended up with more Time Shifting Leeway than normal, almost 50 minutes of it...  but thanks to stuff like this peppered in throughout the show, I STILL caught up to real time before the final ad break. I could have used an extra 6-8 minutes I think, which says a lot about how much padding there was on this show....]

Cold Open, Sort Of, Except for Being 10 Minutes Late

So after that lengthy opening PPV re-airing, we finally cut awkwardly to the live RAW show (no opening theme/pyro/etc.), and Eric Bischoff making his way to the ring.  He's attempting a look that has only, ever, in the history of mankind, been pulled off by Joey Pants (sorry, I won't even attempt to spell his real last name, but you know him from the outstanding "Memento," among other films).  I guess with Halloween around the corner, Uncle Eric is testing out parts of his Gay Biker costume? Eric does get the Cheap Pop by removing his leather Biker Yarmulke to reveal his gray crew cut (apparently, fans forget that he already did this bit in WCW; although he did it when nobody was watching WCW anymore, so maybe that explains things...).  Bischoff continues by saying something about how Taboo Tuesday sucked and the fans suck for participating in it, and how this is just another case of somebody preventing him from doing the job he was hired to do.  So if everybody's so keen on taking power away from him, tonight he's gonna make everybody real happy: he's giving himself the night off. And whoever wants to step up can do his job in his absence, cuz "The Inmates Are Running The Asylum."  Bischoff leaves.  Probably a 2 minute promo tagged onto that bizarre PPV rerun opening, and if you're like me and FF'ed the PPV rerun, you're probably wondering when WWE started taking format notes from TNA, cuz after a 2 minute promo we immediately cut to some...

[ads]

The Alpha Inmates Cut A Big Promo

So we're back from ads, and it didn't take long for somebody to decide they wanted to run the show tonight.  Cuz here's Evolution. And here's a mic for HHH.

He says that the fans sure must have loved Taboo Tuesday (fan response: "Meh." HHH's non sequitur comeback to the nonsponse: "That's right, I knew you did.") and he theorizes that it's because "Power is intoxicating." And tonight, Evolution intends to get drunk off its collective ass, because they are taking over the show, and nobody can stop them, because they have the Power Of Numbers on their side.  As his (their?) opening act, HHH grants Ric Flair anything he wants... and Flair wants a rematch against Randy Orton, and he wants it tonight, because Orton's one win at the PPV doesn't make Orton a Legend Killer, it makes him Lucky, and it won't happen again.  Curiously: this is a COMPLETE change in tone from Flair, who never once tries to shove the concept of Orton's "greatness" down our throat, who is ranting the most purely heel shtick imaginable, and who never ONCE mentions that cheap-ass "moment of respect" from the PPV (nobody else does, either).  Of course, Flair still gets plenty of cheers, but hey, given the choice, this is the style of Flair promo I want to see. It's kind of revisionist history, but as long as they stick with it and don't RE-revise next week to include that bogus "respect" vibe again, I'm down....

HHH gladly grants Flair's wish, and says it'll happen later tonight, which of course is Randall Orton's cue to come out and get the first of his Mixed Responses (it's mostly cheers for Randy, but there's an undercurrent of boos to every single thing he does all night; Orton does NOT help himself with that obnoxious fake pose thing that he's REALLY starting to over-use; you know the one: the one that says "I don't have any actual personality, so this is me clearly PRETENDING and DOING A CARICATURE of confidence").  He's in "disrespectful punk" mode his own self, saying that (a) he takes orders from no one, not even HHH, but that (b) he already beat Flair six days ago at the PPV, so OK, maybe this time he'll take the orders from HHH since he's sure he can do it again with no trouble.  And furthermore, once he's done with that, what Orton REALLY wants is to get his World Title back from HHH.

HHH smirks and says Young Randall sure does sound confident. So maybe he'll even go ahead and pencil Orton's name in on the "Challenger" line at Survivor Series...  Orton gets a look on his face that says, "My that sure was easy, but I'm guessing there's a catch." And yes, there is a catch.  HHH will grant Orton his title shot but ONLY if he can beat Naitch later on tonight.  Orton cockily boasts that he's got no problem with that, again referencing his PPV win over Flair and stating, "You always say that to be the Man, you gotta beat the Man. Well, I already did that last Tuesday, so I guess that makes me The Man."  Randy Orton, flunking out of How Not To Get Yourself Unnecessary Boos 101 right before our very eyes...  ripping off the catchphrases of guys the fans like better than you is NOT the road to babyfacedom, dammit.

HHH again makes note of Randall's over-confidence and says that if he's so sure of himself, maybe Orton will put something up in the match the same way HHH is putting a title shot up for grabs.  HHH suggests that maybe the stipulation will be Orton gets a title shot if he wins... but if he loses, he'll never, not ever, get a title shot for as long as HHH is the champ.  Orton flounders for a minute or so, and Flair even has to grab the mic to taunt him and question his manhood and all... but finally Orton accepts the terms, and we have ourselves a main event here on RAW.

Announcer Visit and More Video Packages: while everybody clears out of the ring, we get our first looks at JR and the King, who really oversell the super-mega-terrificness of Taboo Tuesday (likely on the grounds that early data shows nobody bought the show, so they can tell bald-faced lies and nobody will be any the wiser).  One of the super-mega-terrific matches was Shelton Benjamin getting voted into an IC Title match and winning said title from Chris Jericho.  A rematch is coming up later tonight, but first: Another Lengthy And Easily Fast-Forwarded Video Package (about Jericho/Benjamin from last week)!  I don't recap recaps!

[ads]

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho (IC Title Match)

Title is on the line, and the opening part of the match is kind of slow-ish mat wrestling, giving the announcers time to tell a couple of stories, including (a) Shelton Benjamin is an accomplished amateur wrestler and Jericho won't be able to match him hold-for-hold on the mat, and (b) this time, Jericho had 24 hours notice about this match so maybe he'll be better prepared to deal with Shelton cuz that first match was kind of an unexpected ambush but now might be his chance to regain his title.  Things pick up speed a little bit about 3 or 4 minutes in, and Shelton even sets up for the Stinger Splash...  but Jericho dives out of the way, and Shelton goes flying over the turnbuckle and out to ringside.  Jericho, only a split second after The Rick, sees the opening to send us to an ad break... so he goes up top, hits a crazy-ass top-rope-to-the-floor crossbody, both men are down, and as formula dictates, now is when we watch....

[ads]

Back, and for the first of a few fucking obnoxious times during the night, my audio is cutting in and out.  I don't know if it was my cable system or something in WWE's production truck, but if it's the former then I apologize on behalf of the dickheads at Time Warner for rendering this recap less-precise than it should be.  If it's the latter, well, then you all had to deal with the same thing...  almost immediately back from the break, Shelton powered out of a Jericho back-breaker thingie, and was getting VERY solid babyface pops for his offense as they went into a back-and-forthy segment of the match.  Jericho wasn't even really playing up his heelish antics as much as he did at the PPV, but it seemed like fans might have been more into Shelton than into him, which was damned odd. Or at least, unexpected.  To me.  The back and forth settles down into a serious rally for Benjamin, culminating in a double-reverse-y spot in which Jericho avoided the T-Bone Powerplex, but wound up on the receiving end of a pretty Northern Lights Suplex.  From there, they did the bridge-up spot, and Jericho got a mini-rally. But Shelton got the advantage back, and went up top for Some Move... Jericho almost caught up on the top rope, but Shelton changed plans and leapt off into a sweet Flying Sunset Flip.  But Jericho rolled through that, and got Shelton 90% of the way into the Walls of Jericho... but it's worthless without the last 10%, and Shelton was able to use his Leg Strength and Amateur Wrestling Background to counter the hold with a REALLY cool body-scissors thing in which he whipped Jericho head-first into the mat and into a pinning combination.  My description doesn't do it justice, it really just was a cool way out of the Walls and into a pinning combo; very original.  Of course, the surprising development is enough to keep Jericho down for the 3 count, and Shelton retains.  After the match, Jericho shoves the ref aside, teases us for a quick moment, but then hands the IC belt over to Shelton and raises his hand.  Jericho certainly doesn't look happy about losing twice, but he's doing the Sportsmanlike Thing, at least.  And everybody cheers and is happy.  Jericho leaves, and Shelton celebrates.  Very nice 12 or so minute match; the closing few minutes were exceptional, really, with tons of near falls setting up the innovative finish.

After the match: out of nowhere, Christian attacks Shelton, beating the crap out of him and hitting the Unprettier.  Christian then grabs the IC belt, and poses with it, standing over the carcass of the fully-decimated champion.  At no time does Jericho re-appear to make the save; I can see how some might view this as a possible heelish element seeping into Jericho's character, but upon further thought, I disagree.  Later developments on the show have me strongly convinced that this match was just Jericho's graceful exit from the IC Title picture, that he's moving onto other stuff, and that this was the START of the first major feud of Shelton's IC reign, one that won't be muddying by Jericho lingering around. I think these are all good things.

Backstage: In the Lounge, Coach and Eric Bischoff are relaxing on a leather couch, enjoying RAW on a TV. I can't tell if it was more audio trouble, or if there just wasn't supposed to be any dialogue here, but nothing substantive was accomplished with this sneak peek. Except for us finding out that Bischoff is the kind of weenie who drinks Vodkatinis (and apparently enjoys the company of burly black men)... boys and girls, if you remember nothing else from the entire 2004 Online Onslaught Model Year, remember this: a Martini has GIN in it.  Vodkatinis are for pansies who for some reason have a fear of Actual Flavor.  Yes, even James Bond is a puss, kids.  At least, compared to the suave manliness of The Rick. And don't even get me started on the entire class of flavored Gimmick Martinis... they may tasty, but please: let's not drag the good name of a truly Classic Beverage through the mud by calling them "Martinis" of any kind....

[ads]

Backstage: Evolution has the Red Headed Spaz cornered... and they apparently want to make sure that Christy understands how things work around here.  HHH's banter is decidedly slimy in a sort of understated way; but Flair takes over, and in classic Nature Boy style notes that Christy looks like the kind of girl who could party All Night Long, and she should come out with Evolution after the show.  Spaz says sorry, but she's already got plans, and lucky for her, before HHH can get too pissed off, he's distracted.... by Chris Jericho cavalierly walking down the hallway and accidentally bumping HHH on his way past.

Kubrick Segue: so the camera opts to follow the path of Chris Jericho Is WALKING, and our shot moves to a side locker room, where Jericho finally stops... but right behind him are all of Evolution, with HHH asking... well, asking or saying something.  Again, the fricking audio is out for about 20 seconds here, at least for me.  The gist seems to be that HHH is probably pissed about getting nudged disrespectfully by Jericho, and Jericho probably doesn't see what the big fucking deal is, bitch.  Sound cuts back in in the middle of HHH lecturing something about how Jericho needs to learn something, and that's when Maven pops into the frame.  HHH thinks that's cute, but keeps on ranting.... which is when Chris Benoit materializes and asks, "Is there a problem here?".  And NOW HHH decides that maybe this has stopped being cute and is now a Bona Fide Situation, seeing as how Benoit's a bad-ass who is undefeated against HHH and all.  So HHH starts backing down a bit, saying, "No, no problem."  And then behind Jericho, Maven, and Benoit, the entire babyface locker room starts showing up.  HHH continues talking about how "Nope, no problem here, not a damn thing wrong at all" as he leads Evolution out of the room like the Proverbial Scalded Dogs.

More Lengthy Recappening: this time when we visit with JR and King, the topic is Edge's douchbaggery from the PPV.  Cue up a lengthy video package!  Prepare the Fast Forwarding Finger!  Cuz I STILL don't recap recaps!

[ads]

It's Two, Two, TWO Promos In One!

Jim Ross is in the ring to guide us through a little multi-tasking here...  first, he announces that Edge has declined coming to RAW in Des Moines, IA, but is here via satellite with a few things to say. Luckily for me, one of them is NOT, "Haha, The Rick, you were so totally wrong about heels not getting time to honeymoon, dude!" Cuz Edge is a nice guy, deep down.

Anyway, this wound up being just about as excellent a promo as you'll ever find in the "taped six days ago and mailed in" category.  I was loving it as Edge brought The Prick in a rant that spanned a laundry list of reasons why HE should have gotten the title shot at the PPV and then moved onto a sweet tangent about how if the fans didn't want to see him fight for the title at the PPV, then fuck 'em, they won't get to see him live on RAW tonight, and he'll return to the show when he's good and ready.  Tremendous attitude, and great internal logic for the "why I'm not here live" tangent and everything.

So with Edge finished with his Prepared Statements Made To Look Like A Live Interview, JR again hops on the mic, and smoothly transitions us from one guy who, if he wasn't a jerk, would have been here live to a guy who, even though he's got no business being here, is gonna hobble to the ring to address the fans!  Would you please welcome, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels?  I knew you would....

Shawn's out on crutches, and once he makes it to mid-ring, JR pretty much just hands him the mic and then leaves.  Shawn then drops the crutches, and proceeds to pretty much cut his promo while limping around inside a 2-foot radius in the middle of the ring.  He starts out with another over-sell of the Taboo Tuesday concept (remember kids, one of these weeks, I'll regale you with my idea for how if WWE wants to do something cool and have us vote on stuff that is meaningful and NOT just a slate of Foregone Conclusions, I've got their hook-up), but at least with HBK, he's got a purpose: because Taboo Tuesday was about the fans. And upon reflection, Shawn decided that he and all the boys in the back have forgotten something very important: that this business is about the fans, impressing the fans, showing off for the fans.

Shawn says that after his match last Tuesday, a lot of the guys in the back treated him like he was some kind of hero for going to the ring and competing, but Shawn says that's not what it was about for him.  For him, yes, he enjoys the rush of showing off on the PPV stage, but the reason he went out to the ring at Taboo Tuesday wasn't because of a "John Wayne Complex," it's because the fans voted for it. They voted for HHH/HBK one more time.  They voted "for me."  And Shawn says, "So that's what I gave them. As best as I could, I gave them me."

He says he has Taboo Tuesday to thank for reminding him that this is all about the fans, and he has a challenge to everybody in the back: to get back to loving your job, and loving the rush of performing, and loving to show off for these great fans. And he closes by saying that it's a challenge that he, himself, will take up. Because unlike his comeback 2 and a half years ago (that one was for him, to help him find out if he was still good at wrestling), he'll be coming back again real soon, and this time ("as cheesy as this sounds," notes Shawn), it's for the fans.  Thank you, god bless, and hit my music so I can limp outta here!

It's telling that fans were cynical enough to feel that might be being patronized during Shawn's first few comments, but were 100% cheering him by the end. No matter how much we might have been burned by smile-losing and Montreal-screw-jobbing in the past, I honestly don't think anybody could ever question that one thing Shawn Michaels is passionate about is "showing off for the fans," and once he hit that note, the rest seemed really genuine and honest, too. And it probably helps that when Shawn is spewing forth the most hokey old-timey babyface tripe, he's TELLING US he knows it's hokey, and somehow that makes it a little easier to swallow, too.  Real nice work here, and as nice a "moment" as RAW has had in a while... obviously, what I wonder about is what this leads to, storywise: was Shawn's "challenge" just a way to kiss-up to fans and put himself over, or is there more to it than that?  We'll find out....

[ads]

Backstage: Tough Questions Todd Grisham is standing by with a microphone, and with Maven.  Todd's first Tough Question, "Dammit, Maven, what the hell did you drag me out here for?"  Maven says that yes, he requested this interview time, and it's because if the inmates are running the asylum, then he's gonna throw out the rule book and come up with other completely irrelevant clichés to toss out there until Batista finally shows up to interrupt him.  Praise Jesus, here he is, just in the nick of time!  Batista again plays the "Aw, he's a cute kid, isn't he?" card in his dismissiveness towards Maven. But before Batista can really explain why HE is commandeering this promo time, Maven pops back into the frame and says that now he is angry, and he wants a match against Batista, right here, right now.  Batista says Maven's not worth his time, nor his energy.  So Maven bitchslaps him.  Oh no you didn't, girlfriend!  Maven says he'll be in the ring, if Batista wants him.  And as soon as Batista shakes off the slap, you better bet he wants. So we again do the single-camera Kubrick Segue and follow Batista all the way through the bowels of the building and up to the Gorilla Position where somebody hits his music and we cut to the arena for....

Batista vs. Maven

Maven gets no entrance and is already in the ring. Along with a referee (who JR notes was out there for "our scheduled match, but this wasn't it," which I guess is a nice touch, but really, might be a case of OVER-explanationing, cuz it rang kind of hollow, and it's the sort of detail that would be best glossed over unless you want jack-ass anal compulsive types like me writing recaps and wondering why he didn't FURTHER explain what the scheduled match was if he was so gung ho on selling us on the impromptuness of it all!).  Batista gets his entrance theme, but is so focused on Maven that he charges straight to the ring and forgets to preen like a nancy-boy.  Dammit Batista: DOUBLE BICEP AND POINT THE TOE, SALLY!  I need material here!

Because the match itself is pretty thin. Various hope spots for Maven, various ass-whomping by Batista.  Maven finally gets his first real rally about 3 minutes in, and tries a top rope dropkick, which Batista just SWATS out of thin air in a pretty neato spot.  Following up on the fly-swat, Batista's gonna finish Maven off with the powerbomb, but Maven weasels out of it, and slides down Batista's back and rolls him into a pinning combo out of nowhere.  1, 2, 3, and Maven scores the upset win!  Maybe 4 minutes, tops, and even with the "surprise" finish, it was really quite by-the-numbers here.

After the match: Maven is literally crawling up the ramp after the beating he took, and Batista decides to go after him.  But just as Batista catches up to Maven, Chrisses Benoit and Jericho pop out onto the stage.  Batista gets the message that he'd best not do anything rash, and he lays off Maven long enough for him to crawl his way up to Benoit and Jericho.  There, the Chrisses help him to his feet and assist him to the back, while Batista seethes.  I'm starting to see where this is going: Factional Warfare, and just in time for Survivor Series, baby!

[ads]

Who in the Blue Hell are These People?: they ran one of those silly self-important little "we think voting is good" pieces, and I FF'ed, of course. But even FF'ing, I think the only WWE personalities I saw were Mark Henry, Garrison Cade, and was that Chris Nowinski?  Really a star-studded cast.  Was Ivory too busy to join in?  The lesson, as far as I gathered: if you ever want to get paid for sitting around being injured, you MUST REGISTER TO VOTE!

Still More Stuff I Can FF: another lengthy PPV recap piece, this time dedicated to Kane/Snitsky.  I'm still not recapping recaps, dammit.

Gene Snitsky vs. William Regal

OK, so the match: Regal was in the middle of his ring entrance when Snitsky attacked from behind, tossed him into the ring, hit a pumphandle slam, and scored the pin.  I will Eat A Bug if this even made it to 30 seconds.  After the match: Eugene came out to Regal's aid, and Snitsky grabbed a mic and said that what he just did to Regal was NOTHING compared to what he did to Kane at the PPV. And while he again declares that Kane's dead baby is Not His Fault, from here on out, everything that Snitsky does, it'll ALL be his fault. Not bad, I guess.  Only complaint is that they didn't really have time to build up how Snitsky beat Eugene the week before and this week Regal might have been out for revenge, since that'd have been a nice touch.... oh wait: one other compliant that I just remembered!  You know last week how I said I'd put Regal's new "Born Naughty" t-shirt on the very short list of WWE shirts I might actually be able to wear in public?  Well, forget it, it's off the list, and again it's the usual WWE crime of putting lame crap on the back... actually, I think since I discovered that even Jericho's cool 3/4-length shirt also has stupid crap on the back, there are currently ZERO items on said list.  There, I think that's enough padding for a 20 second match, don't you?

Backstage: Coach and Bischoff are still lounging and watching TV, and sipping pansy cocktails. And again, if there was a point (or even any real dialogue), I missed it.

[ads]

I Can't Fucking Believe I Forgot About Lita Theatre

Backstage, Lita's getting gussied up when Trish Stratus pops into her view to further increase the mirror's Pretty Quotient.  Trish just wants to say (you know, As Lita's Friend) that she hopes Lita's alright. Cuz it's been a hell of a year for her.  She finally got back with Matt Hardy, and then she pretty much ruined his career. Then she got pregnant and married Kane and then lost her baby, and my, was that a little twinkle Trish saw in Lita's eye last week? Did she fall for the Big Lug?  Well, it doesn't matter, cuz she pretty much ruined HIS career, too.  Trish notes that there's a whole locker room full of young studs whose careers could be ruined if Lita wants to sleep with them.  HA!  These things Trish says, they all ring true, but she doesn't have to be such a BITCH about it!  Or maybe she does, cuz that's the charm of it: I don't know.  It's hard to explain.

Trish further opines that Lita needs to think about, you know, dropping some of that pregnancy weight, cuz she's looking kind of puffy.  Trish reminds us that she only mentions this As Lita's Friend.  Tee hee!  And Lita, you can coerce her into all manner of deviant sexual activities and impregnate her with your demon seed and then force her to marry you and she'll pretty much just sit there and take it.  But call her fat?  No way do you get away with that!  And people honestly wonder why I have such a hard time getting into Lita's character, and find Trish so diabolically charming....

Anyway, after the chubby jokes, Lita attacks Trish, flailing away until officials finally pull her off.  And we might have ourselves another candidate for a Red Headed Spaz!  We also have ourselves our obvious next contender to Trish's title.  Goddammit, can you believe I've actually spent the last week naively discussing things like a possible Molly or Gail face turn to spruce up the women's division?  Lita never ONCE popped into my brain that whole time. And here, I thought I was supposed to be a smart guy...  instead, I guess I just let myself be blinded by the last six months of not once having to cringe in fear during a women's match, and I kind of let myself hope it'd be that way forever.  Guess not. 

SmackDown Rebound: I don't recap recaps.  Especially when it looks like the only thing from SD! that got any real time in this recap was the Tough Enough bullshit.  I didn't even watch that the first time, why in the hell would I watch it in recap format?  And I think it's right around here where I fully exhausted my 50 minutes of FF Allotment/Time Shift. Goddamn there's been some good stuff tonight, but this is when I realized just how much silly filler WWE used to pad things out to 2 hours.....

Backstage: it's not RAW if we don't have an Evolution Pep Talk Interlude!  This time, we're back to HHH being the insecure one (talking about how Flair had better win and so forth) and it's Flair who delivers the Words of Motivation.  He says that HHH shouldn't forget who they are, they're Evolution, baby, and they're gonna take care of business tonight.  HHH likes what he hears, and closes the segment by saying that That's Right, if they're needed, he and Batista will be right there for Flair later tonight, and Randy Orton's gonna go down.

[ads]

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Intros started at like 20-till-11, so already, chances are this thing'll be better than the 9 minute "distract 'em with blood" main event from Taboo Tuesday...  to start things off, it's a lot of Orton in control and Flair begging off.  I've already said my piece about Orton's This Is What Passes For Genuine Personality Pose, but early on in this match, he ALSO did something else that annoyed me a bit, blatantly getting in Flair's face and doing the Rock's "Just Bring It" hand gesture.  Man alive, one of these weeks I sure hope that the Real Randy Orton comes out, because if this is all he is, it ain't gonna fly, folks.  Anyway, as you'd expect, all of Flair's begging off eventually results in an eye poke and then a series of chops across Young Randall's chest.  Orton's offense: some girly squeals of glee, maybe one or two very tepid-and-quick-to-peter-out "RKO, RKO" chants, and a whole lot of apathy.  Flair's offense: plenty of "Whoooos" from the rafters.  Just saying is all.  Also: when Orton regains the edge and peppers Flair with fists in the corner, Flair comes out and Flops.  Cheers!  Then Orton hits His Pose, like he's taking credit for it.  Undercurrent of boos!  I'm not making this up, I merely report these details so as to let you know that when I go off on my tangents in my thrice-weekly columns, it's for very good, very real reasons.  Like these.

Match goes outside, and out there, Orton hits a suplex on the floor that just THUDDED Flair to the mat.  Ouch.  There's something oddly dead-weight about the way Flair falls sometimes, if that makes sense.  Like his falling is "more real" than other guys, which I know isn't true, but sometimes it looks and sounds like it.  I think Orton tried to follow up with something, but Flair dodged it, and Orton ate ringpost, setting us up for our final....

[ads]

And we're back! Somehow, Orton has regained control, but it doesn't last for long. About a minute after the break, Orton tries to go up top for a high cross body, but Flair ducks it.  Conveniently, Orton decides that of the various body parts that all hit the mat, the one he'll choose to sell is his knee!  An injured knee?  Against the Nature Boy?  I think we all know where this is headed.... a concerted dissection of Orton's knee is our story (which sure as hell is more than these two had to work with six days previous), and it leads directly into a Figure Four Leglock.  Courageous Warrior that he is, Orton fights off the searing pain (to, dare I mention it?, some light rhythmic clapping, but not a whole lot of other crowd noise), and reverses the hold (to, dare I mention it?, enough apathy that a handful of "boos" are audible).  But the damage is done, and Orton can't follow up.  Flair tries to, and goes for another Figure Four, but Orton snags him into a Small Package (to, dare I mention it?, a bit of Approaching Jeff Hardy Caliber Squealing Which Really Stands Out When There's Not More Cheering). 

And from here, Orton's "heat sequence" is on.  Along the way, Orton is bringing everything he can despite the bad wheel (and despite a mostly silent crowd), goosing JR into his Weekly Shoehorning Of His Favorite Vocabulary Word Into Casual Conversation (as he opines that Ric Flair MUST find some "surcease," or else he'll lose; for whatever it's worth, JR also TWICE referred to "Young Randy Orton," which I think clearly shows y'all just who JR's favorite Internet Phrase Turner is!).  Highlights of Orton's comeback include, in order: fisticuffs, a clothesline, a powerslam (near fall), a mount-in-the-corner-for-10-punches (which, not surprisingly, got the loudest crowd response of Orton's rally, since his fans are all So Very Proud to display that, much like Randy, they've recently learned how to count to 10), a dropkick, and then the Rock's Stalker Pose, clearly indicating that an RKO is coming. 

And sho 'nuff: there's an RKO (kind of a sloppy one, so at least here, if you wanted to tell me the boos weren't necessarily for Randy but for a blown spot, you could do that; the question is, do you want to do that?  does it help your cause?).  But before Orton can make the cover, Batista is out standing on the apron causing a distraction (or maybe the APATHY was for Orton's RKO and the boos were for Batista running down the ramp? does THIS help you any?).  But Batista does NOT get physically involved, he just appears long enough to stop Orton from getting the pinfall... and then Benoit, Maven, and Jericho are out, yanking Batista off the apron and going to town on him, while the ref looks on in confusion.  But behind the ref's back, Triple H has made his way in from the crowd and is whacking Orton in the back with a chair shot!  As Benoit, Maven, and Jericho brawl with Batista up the ramp and to the back, HHH shoves Orton back into the middle of the ring, Flair drapes an arm over him, and the ref decides that with the meddlesome foursome gone, it's safe to turn his attention back to the match.  A three count later, and Flair is your winner!  Young Randall Orton will never receive a title shot against HHH!  At least not until he predictably wins the Royal Rumble!  But let's not let our Big Wrestling Brains ruin the fun here!  This was about a 15-16 minute match, and I actually liked it better than their one-dimensional cage match from the PPV.

And Now, Let's Finish REALLY Strong

The match ends, but the fun is just beginning.  As JR makes it abundantly clear (to the weak-minded, at least) that Randy Orton will never, never-ever, not in a million years get a title shot, HHH helps Flair to his feet and the two try to leave the ring.  But they only get partway up the ramp when the trio of Benoit, Maven, and Jericho re-appear, cutting off that escape route.  So HHH and Flair try an alternate route, heading back to the ring and trying to escape through the crowd.  But no!  Here's Hurricane, Rosey, and Eugene to block them.  So HHH and Flair try ANOTHER section of the audience. But again; Access Denied!  This time by Shelton, Rhyno, and Tajiri.  Those six hop over the barriers and triangulate on HHH and Flair, forcing them to one side of the ring and with no escape.  HHH and Flair decide to duck INTO the ring.  Bad idea.  While they've escaped Those Six Guys, they back into The Original Three Plus Randall.  Benoit, Jericho, Maven, and Orton surround HHH and Flair.  There shall be no escape!

Or will there?  Orton actually gets the party started, landing the first blow (an RKO to Flair, essentially writing him out), but that ain't what we're concerned about at this point; HHH tries to take advantage of the brief distraction to dive out of the ring. But he's quickly corralled by the Other Six Guys, and tossed back into the ring.  HHH is, as the kids with their lingo like to say, "showing ass" as he cowers in terror from the coming beating.  Crowd is eating it up, as they don't get to see this too often, and HHH really is ever so good at it.  Finally, HHH make one last ditch effort to escape, but no dice.  Maven gets the first licks in to a healthy pop.  Then a quick bit of ping-ponging lands HHH in the grasp of one Mr. Chris Benoit.  I wonder how HHH likes Germans?  Cuz he gets a trio of them (to probably the night's biggest pop)!  Jericho follows up with a Lionsault!  The Other Six Guys are pounding on the mat at ringside, further whipping the fans into a frenzy of HHHatred.

Benoit, Maven, and Jericho lift HHH up, and hold him. Orton gets in his face for some smacktalk, and then, finally, hits the RKO for the big finish.  You know, I may have my Orton Issues (including the transparency of the Royal Rumble Gambit when better, more creative options exist, and having to suffer through yet another show-ending celebration while his crappy music plays and causes me to contemplate how bad deafness can really be), but this was a sweet-ass finish to set up Team Warfare (Maven is #1 on the elevation list, the babyface team needs one more player, though; and I presume it's Edge and one other guy for the heels?) for Survivor Series as yet another delay tactic before Orton's title shot materializes.  Not only that, but it's a rare chance to see HHH decimated, which is a bit of a treat.  Good stuff to close out.