Hello All! This is nOOb, your 2013 OO Poster of the Year, making his online recap debut (okay, technically return, as my first post on OO tens of years back was a kinda-recap of a live event in Rockford that really didn't even recap anything so much as I complained they should never do fireworks in the Metro Centre ever again, but still).
 

This would typically be the part where I rant. But I really don't have much to rant about. Sure, I could touch on the fact that the Chicago Bears are dragging their feet on firing Defensive Coordinator Mel Tucker. What? The Bears had injuries this year, you say? Hate to break it to you, but even when Lance Briggs, Charles Tillman, Henry Melton, and Nate Collins were all healthy, they still got diced up by Andy Dalton, Christian Ponder, and other QB's that no defense should ever be diced up by.

Well, unless you're the Dallas Cowboys. They're just destined to get diced up by everyone. And it's their fault. There's a lot of bad to be said about Jerry Jones and his general inability to make competent football choices. But I think a telling sign he shouldn't be anywhere near football decisions is that he had the former defensive coordinator for the Bears, Rod Marinelli, a guy who presided over Bears defenses that frequently lead the league in takeaways and could score as many points as some of the NFL offenses could, and he had him as a LINE COACH while he had Monte Kiffin, a guy who was so bad he was fired by his own son, leading his defense and creating the schemes. If he wasn't good enough to coach at USC, he certainly isn't good enough to coach the supposed "America's Team."

Speaking of USC, I just got done watching a piece on Tim Tebow working out at USC with a team that had helped develop Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and a few others (Joe Flacco is on that list, but once he lost his best receiver, we saw how well he could do). Apparently, he had Trent Dilfer come down for a day and give him critical feedback, and Dilfer stated that Tebow, who recognized he had next-to-no mechanics, had pushed himself every day for 100,000+ reps a day, six days a week, simply to make new mechanics stick. Dilfer stated that the Tebow he saw was considerably different than the former NFL Tebow, and he actually looked like a good NFL quarterback for once. Typically, I don't hold Dilfer in high regards since his legacy was more riding coattails of good receivers and really good defenses, but judging how critical he usually is of everyone else, I'd take that as a step forward. Which also means Tebow will still never get a chance to play in the NFL because who knows?

Okay, that got a little ranty....how about some OLD SCHOOL RASSLIN?! Or sports entertainment that features guys from OLD SCHOOL RASSLIN?!

Segment #1: WOOOOOO! To the surprise of no one, it's Ric Flair, the man who single handidly inspired the 49er's to beat the Packers yesterday night! And we actually get the stills of said speech. Of note right away, JBL and Cole are audible, but Jerry Lawler is not...because Jerry Lawler went to the hospital for chest pains previous to the show. (rkb broke the story on the OO Forums before the show).

Flair starts off with his usual spiel of jet riding and limosine riding before he's interupted by Voices in his Head. Sure enough, here comes Dominator's favorite entertainer ever, Randy Orton, who promptly hugs Ric Flair, because, you know, Evolution. Orton grabs a mic, gives Ric so much thanks (literally, he says "thanks" five or six times), but lets Flair know Old School Raw isn't just about the legends, but also him, too, because he is the only WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Then, out of "respect", he asks Ric Flair to leave the ring.

The audience proceeds to chant "No!" (when they clearly meant "Wooo!"), before getting on about not liking his rematch against John Cena. Orton asks the Authority to reverse the rematch, before calling himself "the Man". Whoops. Cause Flair hasn't left yet. And, it turns out, Ric Flair has stuff to say about "being the man". It involves competing seven days a week against the best. That also means not whining about his rematch. Randy points out Flair had guys watching his back at all times before, ironically, calling Flair the most overrated superstar in history.

Orton then offers a veiled threat (in which he "won't be responsible to what happens next"). Flair refuses, stating he and Triple H picked Orton mainly because he got them laid all the time. Flair, no so veiled, questions Randy's manhood. Randy no likey, and threatens to go "old school on Flair's ass".

And here comes Cena, super intense as he usually is about now. He hugs Flair, salutes him, and then turns that frown upside down before getting into the kiddy insults. The gist of it is that Orton needs to stop using Flair as a scapegoat, plays off of Flair, and then states he, too, wants to go "old school". Fighting stances, and Orton leaves. Orton raises his belt, Cena hugs Flair, struts around, and...that's it. Because, hey, this is the most important program in WWE and who needs to make it interesting?

Meanwhile, at the announce table: Cole and JBL dispell the Lawler heart problem rumors, but he is not there tonight. And now time to recap the Wyatt/Bryan saga...

The recap is basically cliff notes of the gauntlet match from Raw, ultimately leading to the point where Bryan gave up since he couldn't beat the machine. At the end, we cut to Bray's creepy promo from Smackdown, where Bryan "has a home" now. Want more? You don't have to wait, because after this break, we're getting Daniel Wyatt IN ACTION! OLD SCHOOL!

**Ads**

Segment #2: The Uso's and Rey are already in the ring for our first match. a six man versus the NEW Wyatts (who have the old Titantron entrance featuring no Bryan). Bray, Rowan, and Harper come out first, then open up and Bryan comes through wearing a blue jumpsuit and an emotionless face.

The Uso's and Rey Mysterio vs. The Wyatts (Rowan, Harper, and Daniel Bryan-Wyatt): When the lights come up, Bryan leans over to get instructions from Bray, and the three combatants slowly walk to the ring. It is note worthy that the audience tries to fire up a Daniel Bryan chant that dies right away when they see him start on the apron. Bryan stands on the apron and Harper starts against an Uso. Harper beats on said Uso then tags out to Bryan, who gets some cheers before the audience stops...this might get sad. Rey tags in to face off against Bryan, who promptly beats on Rey. The audience has no idea how to react to this, some try starting a "Daniel Bryan" chant that dies fairly quick. Rey tosses Bryan out of the ring, Bryan intensely looks back at the ring, and we go to ads while I die a bit inside realizing WWE may have finally won.

**Ads**

When we come back, Rowan is giving one of the Uso's a knuckle vice? Rowan tosses said first Uso to the corner, then tags out to Bryan, who starts unloading with kicks to Bryan, which, thankfully, the crowd starts chanting "Yes!" to (albeit not loudly, making me think this crowd just sucks). For the beatdown on the Uso, Rowan and Bryan seem like a well oiled machine before the Uso tags out to Rey, who unloads on Rowan before hitting a 619 to Rowan, who tags out to an Uso, who misses a splash. Then Bryan tags himself in, who promptly gets untagged in by Harper. Harper tries something, the Uso rolls up Harper, and we got a three count. The audience seems not to care

Winners: Uso's and Rey

Following the match, the Wyatts look intensely out at their opponents, and nothing happens.

Tonight!: We're getting a Piper's Pit featuring the Shield and CM Punk will try to run the table on the Shield going one-on-one with Roman Reigns.

**Ads**

Batista's coming back. Right before the Royal Rumble, coincidentally. And just in time to be relevant for his upcoming movie Guardians of the Galaxy. And, sure enough, after said vignette for Batista's return, we learn Batista is the first official entrant in the Royal Rumble. Meaning he's the odd's on favorite.

Last Week: Damien Sandow died a little inside, because he had to suffer through the Great Khali. Because Khali is not particularly coordinated, WWE feels the need to cover with a rematch.

But tonight, said rematch has three choices for a Legend Special Guest Referee. The choices? Arn Anderson, Bob Backlund, and Sgt. Slaughter. The three stand there, then leave, as Kane comes in. Kane wants to know why Maddox has beef. Maddox says he has no beef, so what's he gonna do about it? Kane says he can't touch Maddox or he'll be fired. But he does proceed to let Maddox know that if he touches him and gets fired, he'll make it count. And if Maddox gets him fired for anything else, Kane becomes the Monster again, and will proceed to disappear Maddox. Maddox has to change his pants, and Korporate Kane proceeds to be awesome.

Backstage: Big E Langston is walking. Nikolai Volkoff is singing. Million Dollar Man is cackling. Aksana is back to being completely irrelevant after her pointless win last Raw (at least it might have been Aksana). And IRS is wondering how his son wound up being a psychotic cult leader. Everyone's having a good time.

**Ads**

Wednesday, the Biggest Announcement Ever to be Made by Anyone Ever in Sports Entertainment will happen.

At ringside, Ryback is on commentary, while Langston and Axel are already in the ring.

Big E Langston vs. Curtis Axel: Langston starts hot but Axel gets the quick advantage. You can guess how this will end. Of note, Ryback's commentary involves saying something and then cackling after almost everything. Langston eventually gets bored, hits a clothesline, then the Big Ending, and that's it. Meanwhile, Ryback keeps cackling on commentary, meaning sometime between now and the Rumble? We're getting Ryback/Langston.

Winner: Big E Langston

In the back, Roddy Piper is walking to the ring, muttering to himself ala his character in Always Sunny, The Maniac. Meaning what we get next could be really good.

**Ads**

Into the Pit We Go: Roddy Piper looks absolutely insane, which means this is, at worse, going to be trainwreck good. Piper gets in the ring, and we got four stools, meaning one of them is getting tossed. The crowd finally perks up and gives Piper a chant. He starts to talk before the Shield's music interupts and the three of them make their way down to the ring, walking down the same aisle for once (the Old School graphic lets us know the Shield are Superstars).

The Shield enter the ring, and Ambrose and Piper immediately try to out-insane each other. Piper wins, but Ambrose breaks away and starts the talking. Ambrose asks who gave the insane old guy a mic and then says Piper should be pleased the Shield wasn't around when he was. Piper retorts that he took the mic, and that this is Piper's Pit, not Ambrose Alley (HA!) Piper then starts cackling like an insane person, admitting he's been beat up a bit, may be senile, but, on the mic, he is only second to one person: CM Punk. Piper proceeds to antagonize Ambrose, who goes off on Piper before Rollins intercedes, saying Piper's 1985 tactics won't work on the Shield. Piper allows Rollins to go on, then points out two realities: Rollins couldn't beat Punk. And Ambrose couldn't beat Punk. But this whole time, Reigns, sitting intensely in the background, knows what's coming next. Piper pinches his cheek, then asks Reigns if he beats Punk tonight, is he the best in the Shield? Reigns stands up, backs up Piper, then tells him if he ever touches him again, he'll break his old ass in half. Ambrose suggests they take apart Piper, Piper preps for a fight, but not before reinforcements.

And by reinforcements, here comes CM Punk and the New Age Outlaws! The three new guys take the Shield out, and we cut out and Piper's music, not asking why Punk is hanging out with Triple H's friends in the process! Also, Piper stole Ambrose's US Title during all of this, and is likely not giving it back.

Previously on Raw: Brock Lesnar came back and destroyed Mark Henry. It was impressive. And he's here TONIGHT~!

We also get our first Rumble ad, which is basically just hyping the fact that Batista is back.

**Ads (Oddly enough we get the first Justified Season 5 ad during this break that I've actually seen on TV...Justified Season 5, on FX tomorrow at 10/9 CST)**

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio: Hunico Sin Cara, if you recall, beat ADR twice before ADR was concussed (complete with a video package showing this). Sin Cara has finally earned his ring lights, and gets off to a fast start against ADR, which consisted of a lot of arm drags and rollups. ADR gets the advantage after stomping Sin Cara, then proceeds to move at a a relatively slow pace before Sin Cara gets the momentum back, busting out a spinning head scissors and a Tajiri back flip elbow. Sin Cara goes for a splash, ADR moves out of the way, kicks Sin Cara in the head, and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

After the match, ADR gets a mic and wonders why no one is talking about him in the buildup to the Rumble instead of talking about Batista. ADR vows to eliminate Batista and win the Rumble (which, if this were last year's Rumble, would mean he and Batista would be the only two potential wnners...God that Rumble sucked).

**Ads**

Apparently, according to the announcers, Jerry Lawler is in the back hanging out.

Also, we get a recap of the Wyatts losing earlier tonight. We cut to the back, where Bryan is talking with Harper and Rowan, stating that he came to the Wyatts learn, but also teach Harper and Rowan to be a better tag team, if they let him. Rowan looks like he wants to attack Bryan, while Harper holds him back. Bryan asks either to team with him next week. But Bray pops up, stating that won't be necessary, as Bryan will team with Bray next week on Raw. Bryan seems more than okay about this.

Real Americans vs. The Rhodes Dynasty: I was expecting Dusty to come out with his boys, because, you know, "Old School", but he did not. Goldust starts off against Swagger, and gets the better of him. Swagger tags out to Cesaro, who gets an inverted atomic drop and is sent to the corner, where Cody tags in. Cody gets tossed outside the ring, but skins the cat, gets Cesaro back into the corner, and tags out to Goldust. However Cesaro gets the upper hand and swaps tags out to Swagger, who gets in some non-descript offense. Swagger and Cesaro swap tags for a bit, not really doing anything notable, while the crowd fires up a "We the People!" chant. Goldust eventually gets out of trouble, busting out a top rope Goldust-can-rana. Cody tags in, hits a missle dropkick, a Disaster Kick, and then eats a Cesaro uppercut. Cody rolls out of the ring and we'll be back.

**Ads**

We come back to Swagger holding a bear hug on Cody Rhodes. Apparently, during the ad break, Cesaro hit the Giant Swing on Rhodes, meaning they likely won't be winning this. Swagger and Cesaro hit some double team moves and quick tags, but eventually Cody kicks Swagger, dumps Cesaro, and goes for the slow tag. Rhodes gets close, before Cesaro rushes in and hits a huge boot on Goldust, knocking him off the apron. Cesaro then hits a running uppercut on Cody Rhodes' back while he goes for a tag to his newly non-existant partner. Cesaro tags out to Swagger, who counters a Disaster Kick into the Patriot Lock. Rhodes fights it long enough for Goldust to recover, break the hold and get the hot tag. Goldust takes out both men, hitting a cross body on both. Cesaro gets knocked out of the win, and Goldust makes a cover on Swagger, only to have the pin broken up. Cesaro gets tossed out, Goldust hits the Final Cut on Swagger, and that's the match.

Winners: The Rhodes

Backstage: DDP is doing some DDP Yoga (which happens to be out now). Booker comes in, and proceeds to show DDP his Booker T Yoga, which involves Booker pulling a muscle. Ron Simmons does not approve of this and lets everyone know.

**Ads (You'll notice I'm not acknowledging our next match and the fact you can vote for the referee for it)**

The official theme song for the Rumble is the official theme song for Fast and Furious 6. Go figure.

In the ring, Sandow is dying a little. Khali comes out with some guy. The crowd seems to care very little about this. And that they booed Khali a bit makes me a little bit happy.

Oh, and Sgt. Slaughter won the vote. Fair enough.

Damien Sandow vs. Khali: So here's the thing: I've never been an OMG~WORKRATE guy. My favorite wrestler as a kid was Akeem because I loved his theme music. But even I will concede Khali is bad. Like uncoordinated bad. And I can't, for the life of me, pay attention to his matches. Recapping a Khali match just makes me dislike Khali the wrestler a bit more. It also makes me feel bad for Damien Sandow that he's in this match.

Anyways, Khali won, because Sgt. Slaughter made a three count that lasted six seconds, and Sandow's foot was on the rope at one-half. The fact that the count was twice as long as a three count should be just added to the overall embarassment of the fact this happened.

Winner: Khali

Yep, we're doing this again next week. There was dancing after the match. You're excited, which is why I recapped it.

Also, BROCK IS WALKING! WITH HEYMAN!

**Ads (This Old Spice commercial is just awful. Can't they just get Terry Crews back?)**

Here Comes the Pain! (That's still a real thing, right?)

Heyman gets a mic and immediately introduces himself, as well as his client, the self-proclaimed #1 Contender, Brock Lesnar. Apparently, Brock does not care for "Old School", according to Heyman. Brock doesn't feel giving legends a last hurrah is "Old School". He feels that "Old School" is everyone coming out and challenging the one guy that reigned supreme. Heyman name drops Bruno, Hulk Hogan, and Stone Cold, stating everyone wanted a piece of them. Heyman states he's glad they're back to one title and one champion, because that means there's one guy again, and that person may as stamp an expiration date on their neck, because Brock is coming for the winner of the Rumble title match.

Heyman then points out no one in wrestling or MMA can stand up to Lesnar (because Brock did MMA, and may be doing it again part-time possibly). The proof is in Brock handling Mark Henry last week. Heyman keeps going for a bit, until Mark Henry comes out to get more Lesnar.

This time starts better for Henry, but only so much that Lesnar keeps him in the ring for the first part. Henry gets a few punches, but Lesnar gets a clinch, throws some knees, and immediately locks in the Kimura. Heyman shrieks to Lesnar to break the arm, Lesnar gets a crazy look on his face, and cranks back, presumably breaking Henry's arm. Point made again.

Well, until someone remembers the Big Show is still around. Because as Lesnar makes his way to the back, Show comes out and walks towards Lesnar, who backpeddles to the ring, slides in, and begs for Show to come in. Show obliges. And Lesnar jumps out immediately. Show takes the middle of the ring, gives Lesnar a death stare as Lesnar makes his way around the ring. Heyman then jumps on the arpon to distract Show, but the distraction fails as Show tosses Lesnar across the ring (literally from the corner closest to the ring announcer to the corner closest to the ring entrance stairs..which is also not a particularly good throw...Show needs to stop tossing people that aren't less than 220 lbs.), where Lesnar slides out and is restrained by Heyman. Heyman talks Lesnar down and to the back, and they play Big Show's music.

Big Show works as a nice feeder for Lesnar at the Rumble.

Earlier: John Cena defended Ric Flair from the veiled threats of Randy Orton. That will be the majority of the buildup for the match we're supposed to not chant for Daniel Bryan during.

**Ads**

Just a few minutes ago: Lesnar dislocated and fractured Mark Henry's elbow.

Alicia Fox and Aksana vs. the Bellas: Apparently, Brie is going to stick with Daniel Bryan even though he is now in a cult. Thankfully WWE busted this knowledge out on us before I had to suffer through a Diva's tag match between four people I could give a crap about. I instead discovered that the National Title Game for college football was on today. It feels like ESPN should have built this game up a bit more, because I haven't really seen any college football news on ESPN during the last two weeks. I also discovered ESPN and ESPN 2, during these games, show the exact same commercials at the same time, even though they don't show the same shows.

Anyways, I don't know how it happened, but I came back, Alicia Fox and Aksana were walking to the back, and not the Bella's music was playing.

Winners: Probably Alicia Fox and Aksana

In the back, three guys were standing around until, oh shit, that's Rikishi and Too Cool! Grand Master Sexay at least looks his age now, so he looks better than his last time on, Scotty 2 Hotty looks like he's probably a middle class father of three, and Rikishi is, well, Rikishi. This should be fun.

**Ads**

Before we start the next match, 3MB gets a cutaway interview stating that this is their reunion match, and they're back and better than ever, even though Drew McIntyre lets everyone know they're also pretty much exactly the same.

3MB vs. Too Cool and Rikishi: Michael Cole makes everyone feel old by pointing out it's been 13 and a half years (!) since Rikishi and Too Cool have teamed up. Grand Master Sexay and Jinder Mahal start off, with Jinder getting the advantage before GMS hits a nice kick, a nice missle dropkick, and a slightly less nice bulldog. GMS tags out to Scotty 2 Hotty, who is now a fireman in real life (explaining the clean cut look). Drew McIntyre tags in, eats a facebuster, and, why the hell not?

W-O-R-M

I hate that move a hell of a lot less since I haven't seen it in years. McIntyre? Didn't much care for it, and starts roughing up Scotty after a big boot. McIntyre tags out to Mahal, who tags back out to McIntyre after some moves, who hits a nice suplex before going to in an armbar. McIntyre then makes the mistake of booting GMS off the apron, eats a neckbreaker from Scotty, who makes the tag to Rikishi. Rikishi cleans house for a bit, clotheslines both McIntyre and Mahal, while Heath Slater has run off. GMS hits his leg drop on McIntyre, Rikishi sits out on Mahal, and that's that.

Winners: Too Cool and Rikishi

You let them dance and enjoy it because that is actually a good use of "Old School Raw". Fun times

**Ads**

Next Week: Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan vs. the Usos

It's a curtain call for the legends, who come out to the music of the Godfather, who was apparently here tonight as well. After a nice curtain call, out comes the nightmare podium of Bad News Barrett (his music actually seems to fit the poduim now). Barrett acknowledges this is a momentous occasion, but unfortunately has bad news: flea markets across the United States went into a free fall today because every one of the men standing below him were unavailable to sign and sell autographs for $25 a piece. And Bad News Barrett will take great pleasure in forgetting this night ever happened.

So might we all Wade. So might we all.

**Ads**

Coming Friday: We're doing Big E Langston/Randy Orton again.

Oh, We're Not Done with the Legends: Mean Gene is here, and has stories for us all about Baltimore, but can't tell us here: call the hotline, it's only $5 a minute, and kids don't need their parent's permission. Not enough people got the joke, but it doesn't mean it was a bad one. Anyways, here's the New Age Outlaws.

Road Dogg gets the mic, does his intro as only he can (he actually calls Billy "Bad Ass Billy Gunn", which I didn't think was allowed anymore), and let's Billy get in his line. Road Dogg is right back to his non-TV PG best, and introduces to us CM Punk. Apparently, the Outlaws are here as backup for Punk during his match with Roman Reigns, which, if WWE does this right, could build to a certain match with a certain someone on a certain "Biggest Stage of Them All". Which means they probably won't.

And here's the Shield, so maybe two stories is past WWE's capabilities.

CM Punk vs. Roman Reigns: Reigns starts out over-powering Punk. Punk eventually locks in a headlock that Reigns tries to power out of, but Punk holds onto it and takes Reigns to the ground. Reigns gets out of it and locks Punk in another headlock, which Reigns does power out of. Punk rolls to the ropes and waits (a bit long) for...

**Ads**

Reigns is in control and throws Punk over the ringpost and to the outside. The rest of the Shield heads towards Punk but the Outlaws cut them off, so nothing happens. During this small break in the action, the announcers point out Punk is still dealing with rib injuries, so that ring post toss had injury implications to it. Punk gets in the ring and immediately into a waistlock. Punk tries getting out but is immediately slammed to the ground. Reigns pushes Punk around a bit, then stalks him before dropping an elbow. Reigns goes for something else but Punk moves, then hits a jawbreaker followed by a crossbody, which hurts him as much as Reigns, giving Reigns enough time to recover and catch Punk in a bearhug. Somehow I don't think this will be the week we'll be singing the praises of Roman Reigns.

Punk gets out of the bearhug, but falls into a Samoan Drop for another two. Reigns stalks a bit more, then goes for the Superman punch, but Punk ducks under and kicks Reigns in the back of the head in the meantime. Meanwhile, the Shield is getting antsy outside as Punk starts kicking away at Reigns then hits a flurry of moves capped by a neckbreaker that gets a one count. Punk follows it up with a running knee in the corner for a two, then hits another, before hitting an elbow that may have been a botched clothesline.

Punk signals for the Macho Man elbow, but takes too long and Reigns recovers. He follows Punk up, where Punk fights Reigns off the turnbuckle, then, again, goes for the Elbow Drop, this time hitting it but hurts himself again. So, rather than make a cover, he signals for a GTS. This gets Ambrose to jump on the apron, when Road Dogg grabs Ambrose off the apron. Road Dogg gets tossed into the steps, Gunn levels Ambrose with a clothesline, and Rollins sends Gunn into the ringpost. Punk sees this and dives on Rollins, then goes to the top again, jumps up, and gets Superman Punched by Reigns on the way down. Reigns covers and gets a long two. He then goes for a Spear, hits turnbuckle,and gets rolled up for a two. Punk then hits another knee and goes for a GTS, that Reigns gets out of. Ambrose jumps on the apron, which distracts Punk, and he runs into a spear. Three counts later, and we got a winner.

Winner: Roman Reigns

The Shield gets in the ring to celebrate, as the announcers wonder if Reigns is now the best member of the Shield or if the Shield looks at this as a group victory. And that's where we end...

OR NOT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT'S JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERT'S MUSIC! And he actually looks good! Jake takes his time coming to the ring, carry with him a yellow bag that we know the contents of. The Shield is in disbelief and also ready for a fight, but in the meantime, Punk and the Outlaws slide in the ring. Jake slides the bag in, which backs the Shield right into Punk and the Outlaws. The Shield is quickly handled, and Punk grabs Ambrose, spins him around, and hits a GTS. Meanwhile, Jake gets in the ring, where the fans start chanting for the DDT. Unfortunately, Jake is not ready to oblige just yet (this is a victory in itself for him), but instead goes for an oldie-but-goody, as he opens up the bag and dumps New Damien onto Ambrose (Ambrose, wearing black, also gains a number of noticeable white spots on his vest, and one on his chin, either particles for the bag or, potentially, snake poo). Jake repositions the snake a few times over Ambrose's face (Ambrose, to his credit, stays unconcious while simultaneously looking like an insane person living the dream). The rest of the Shield is chased away by Jake and his threats of throwing the snake at them. The Shield abandons Ambrose as we end the show.

And that was a unique way to end it, to be sure. Jake's struggles have been well documented and his being in the ring has to be a huge victory for him. And he was the right Legend to save for the last, to be sure.

But as far as the overall show...meh. It was nice seeing Too Cool back, and they performed admirably, but we won't see them again, nor should we: they're a nice treat for rare occasions, as they should be. Roddy Piper was pretty good, and the Shield performed well with him. And, like I just mentioned, Jake the Snake Roberts being back for a night was a very nice treat. But the rest of the legends may as well not have been there. DDP was there to shill (and really, he deserved that spot since he got Jake to a place where he could be at Raw). Booker is always there. Volkoff, IRS, and DiBiase did what they usually do on these one-off's. And Arn Anderson and Bob Backlund existed, I guess?

Slaughter's ref job was just a bad part of a bad match that has a bad story (that story being Khali is still around and will force Damien Sandow into one last match). And Ric Flair, despite being the most hyped part of the show, really didn't do much. Though that part is just as much an indictment on WWE for thinking all they need to do to build up a Cena/Orton match is just have the two of them show up briefly and the rest "writes itself".

And, at first, I thought WWE had succeeded in neutering Daniel Bryan with the Wyatt membership. But, it turns out the reason his chants died was because this audience was awful. And, just when it seemed dead, WWE busted out another storyline with potential where Bryan can make the Wyatts more dangerous while they help him. I'm curious to see where it goes.

It was a fun one-off, but the one thing that WWE tried to advance (Cena/Orton), they didn't. And that (almost) everything else on the show was more interesting is not good.

Final Grade: C+