OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Hail Cesaro!
February 17, 2014

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Well, there's some light at the end of the tunnel, as far as my health issues go.

It's kind of hazy, and I can't tell what goddamn color the light is, but it's there. That's because my doctors have sort of given up on getting a 100% certain diagnosis on my pancreas growth, and have decided it's just time to get in there and remove it.

Next Monday (Feb. 24) at 9am, I will go into surgery for The Whipple Procedure. Estimated time on the table: 6-8 hours. Yes, hours. They'll take off the head of my pancreas (where the mass is), and fully analyze the thing right then and there. So far, the blood tests and biopsies have led them to think it's probably a Neuro Endocrine Tumor (the least aggressive/easiest to treat type of cancer), and there's even a chance it's some kind of freak benign pseudotumor. So that's heartening. But the point is, they won't know until they cut it out. From there, they'll decide how much of the rest of my guts they have to cut out, and how to sew it all back together so everything still works.

But even in the best case scenario (a partial "pylorus-preserving" Whipple, rather than the Full Whipple), this is a pretty massive undertaking. After surgery, they've told me it's a couple of days in the surgical ICU, where I'll basically be fully sedated (I gather having your abdomen flayed open and your innards sliced and diced is not pleasant), then another 10-14 days in the hospital until I can regain mobility and make do with pain meds that they're willing to let me take home. Not to mention at least 3 weeks of back to 100% tube feeding.

Depending on what they find when they excise the tumor, there could be a longer recovery process, including chemo and so forth. I don't know how long it'll take after the surgery before I have the ability for rational, coherent thought, but I'll try to post an update to the existing thread in the OO Forums by the middle of next week for those of you who are interested.

For everyone else, this is my way of saying "So long for now." I probably won't even watch the PPV on Sunday, much less recap it. I'll be too busy pretending to get a good night's sleep (I have to get to the hospital by 6:30am on Monday), when in reality, I'll be a restless nervous wreck. OO will probably be silent (other than the Forums) for the 2 weeks I'm in the hospital, then I'll get back to posting Pyro's recaps and news blurbs (and hopefully some substitute RAW recaps). But my best guess is it'll be a month or so before I actually post anything of my own.

So until then, you all have my best wishes, and I'll trust I have yours. There's not much I can do about the 2 week OOutage while I'm utterly incapacitated, but please make a note to come on back by mid-March when I'm only mostly-incapacitated, and can start updating bits and pieces of OO. And then, if I'm not back and posting my own columns by WrestleMania, well, that's when you'll know something has gone terribly wrong.

But let's not dwell on that. Let's march forward with tonight's Story of RAW...

ELIMINATION CHAMBER ROLL CALL THEATRE

Cena hits the ring and grabs a mic, and then has to pause to let the crowd mixed-reaction itself out. Then he proceeds to do about 3 minutes of Bad Cena...

You know: not the sane, reasonable, conversational Cena. The shouty, phoney, obnoxious Cena. He tries to make the Elimination Chamber match sound like the greatest match in the history of the multiverse, and then make himself sound like the greatest wrestler in the history of the multiverse, because he's going to win it. It's the sort of ham-fisted, hyperbolic, marketing-department patter that only really works on 12 year olds, and those of subnormal intelligence.

Which is fine, since that's pretty much Cena's target demo.

Once he wraps up the blatant, shouty hype work, we begin the rapid fire interruptions.

First, Cesaro comes out and remind us that he beat Orton last week, so he's just as likely to be the new WWE Champ at the Chamber PPV.

Then Sheamus. He makes a quick self-deprecating joke about being a pasty faced ginger with no real marketing value, but says he still intends to upset the Authority by becoming the new Face of WWE on Sunday.

Then Christian. He talks some smack to Sheamus, on the grounds that Sheamus accidentally Brogue Kicked him on Friday, then points out that he's driven because he knows this might be his last chance to be WWE Champ.

Then Orton. He specifically belittles Christian (since he's the one guy who lost to Orton so far in the Gauntlet, and he also lost to Orton every time they've ever wrestled ever), and then says HE will win the Chamber.

Then Bryan. With the crowd going nuts, he says the fans are doing his talking for him. "YES! YES! YES!" and so forth. HE will be the next WWE Champion.

That's everybody, right? Wrong.

Here's Kane. He says that after his one week suspension, the Authority are giving him a chance to prove himself: Kane is in charge tonight. And so his first decree is that if Orton is in action tonight, then all the other Chamber participants must be, too.

Ergo: it'll be Daniel Bryan vs. Christian, and John Cena vs. Cesaro. Oh, and Bryan/Christian starts RIGHT NOW... and by "right now," Kane actually means RIGHT NOW, for once!

DANIEL BRYAN vs. CHRISTIAN

As Kane and the rest of the guys leave the ring, Christian blind-sides Bryan to a huge chorus of boos. His assault on Bryan continues for a minute or so before spilling outside the ring. Christian chucks Bryan, shoulder-first, into the barricade... while Bryan is crumpled in a heap, we take a break for...

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Back, and Christian immediately goes to work on the shoulder, and Cole wastes no time telling us that Bryan is essentially a one-armed man tonight. Meantime, we also see that Kane has decided to stick around and watch this match from ringside.

Christian goes balls-out with the heel mannerisms... just destroying Bryan's shoulder, mocking Bryan's mannerisms, the whole nine. Nothing "tweener" about it. And the crowd immediately gets on board with it. Nice work.

Finally, Christian's taunting and mocking goes a notch too far, and Bryan ducks a charge, sending Christian flying over the top rope. Bryan follows up with the Flying Goat Dive, but lands hard on his injured shoulder.... so both men are hurt, and we might as well check out some....

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Back, and Christian's still working the shoulder, but Bryan is starting to fire up. He escapes the armbar, and builds up to some YES! Kicks. He even lands the super-duper-mega-wind-up YES! Kick. That gets a two count. Bryan goes up top, but eats a boot when he dives off, attempting a headbutt.

All of a sudden, we kick it up a notch, and start some back and forth End Game. Each guy gets a pair of near falls, and then Christian goes for the Killswitch... but Bryan drops down and rolls through into a pinning combo, and just like that, he gets the 3 count.

Your Winner: Daniel Bryan, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. Pretty simple stuff, with Christian beating the crap out of Bryan's injured shoulder. But by making the choice to go full-bore heel, Christian really added some sizzle to things. And then Bryan still pulls out the win in the end (but with a crafty reversal, not his finisher), which makes him look strong without completely burying Christian. Good stuff.

After the Match: Kane gets a mic and says, "Oh, Daniel. I neglected to mention that you still have another match tonight. Against me."

Like a classic stupid good guy, Bryan LIKES the sound of this, and encourages Kane to bring it on. So Kane gets rid of his tie, and does just that. He immediately dominates Bryan, and tosses him out of the ring. He chucks Bryan, shoulder-first, into the announce table, and just like that, Bryan's crumpled in a heap again... so why not break for...

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DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE

The match officially started during the break (Kane's attack before the break wasn't part of the match), so we join in progress... and as you'd expect, Kane is working on that injured shoulder.

Kane earns the ire of the ref when he backs Bryan into a corner, and won't break at the 5 count. So the ref yanks Kane back, and creates enough of a distraction so that Bryan can jump up on the tope rope and hit a missile dropkick.

The hope spot comes to an end when Bryan hits some YES! Kicks, but then whiffs on the super-duper-mega-wind-up YES! Kick. That's more like it...

Kane tosses Bryan out of the ring, and then chickenwings his bad arm around the steel ringpost. And he AGAIN ignores the ref's 5 count, so the ref calls for the bell this time.

Your Winner: Daniel Bryan, via DQ, in about 10 minutes (estimated, since we joined it in progress). Again, simple and straight forward story, with Kane wanting to do more damage to Bryan's injured shoulder, without regard for winning the match. The announcers go so far as to speculate that HHH and Steph put Kane up to this, to make sure he's in rough shape for Sunday's Chamber match.

Backstage: Renee Young has the Shield for an interview. She asks about Roman Reigns' match tonight against Mark Henry, which causes a little rift, since Ambrose claims to have delivered a beating to Henry last week. Reigns calls BS on that, pointing out that Ambrose lost the match, and says that tonight HE will take care of the World's Strongest Man.

Then Rollins cuts in and redirects the discussion to Sunday's 6-man match against the Wyatts. He says to make no mistake, because the Shield are always on the same page. Ambrose and Reigns both tag the promo with their standard one-liners to emphasize that all's well in Shieldland.

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SANTINO MARELLA (w/ Emma) vs. FANDANGO (w/ Summer Rae)

Emma's not NXT's most proficient in-ring diva prospect... but she sure is cuter than 10 super bowls. And Pyro's right: race-walking is a lot more fun to watch when she does it, versus when Santino does it.

Match is a super-time-compressed heel beatdown, followed by a super-time-compressed babyface fire-up. Then Summer tries to interfere, and Emma hits her with an Airplane Spin. Santino is impressed... and smitten.

Santino and Emma start making googly eyes at each other, and then make a few false starts at smooching. Adorkable. But then they really lock eyes, and Santino looks like he's really gonna dive in and get him some sugar... which is when Fandango recovers and hits a sliding dropkick. BOO~!

Fandango tosses Santino into the ring, hits an exploder suplex, and gets the three count.

Your Winner: Fandango, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. So there's now officially unrequited romance between two of WWE's goofiest characters, and Fandango's having none of that nonsense. Works for me.

Backstage: Renee Young catches up to Mark Henry, and asks him about his match tonight. Henry says he's still pissed about last week, when he should have won the US Title, but the Shield interfered and got Dean Ambrose DQ'd. So tonight, he's facing Reigns, and it may not be for a title, but it IS a chance for Henry to induct someone into the Hall of Pain.

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MARK HENRY vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/ Ambrose and Rollins)

Crowd gives Reigns some love early on, but mostly seems split. Reigns, undaunted, is still working as the heel (with chinlocks and restholds).

Of course, as soon as I type that, he hoists Henry up and hits a Samoan Drop, which is a damned impressive move that you can't help but cheer for. Then he hits the Superman Punch, and a Spear, and that's that. Whoa, talk about decisive.

Your Winner: Roman Reigns, in 2 minutes flat. Unexpectedly one-sided, but hey, the story here is that Reigns easily did what Ambrose couldn't. Ambrose clearly gets the message, and doesn't like it, as he starts kicking the shit out of Henry's already-prone carcass. Meantime, Reigns just stands back and chuckles at the pathetic, insecure outburst.

After the Match: before anything can come of the Shield's dissension, the lights go out, and the Wyatts appear on the Tron. Bray is singing; he's got the joy, joy, joy down in his heart. He can't wait till Sunday, he can't wait to destroy the Shield. He hopes they're willing to die for their cause, because only one team will survive on Sunday.

Reigns grabs a mic and says, "Hey, why don't you come out here and talk that noise to our faces?" Bray decides that's a good idea. So the lights go out again, and the Wyatts walk out to ringside.

Immediately, we've got a reset to last week's staredown. Everything is identical, up until all six men are in the ring.... and just when you think something's actually gonna happen this week: nope.

Things remain identical, as Bray calls his boys off and steps out of the ring to fight another day, as the crowd boos. Not nearly as electric as last week, as you might expect... but it keeps painting the Shield as the de facto babyfaces, without getting all heavy-handed about it, and that's a good thing. The kiddies need things like this laid out for them a bit more clearly than those of us who enjoy the shades of gray.

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Backstage: Cody Rhodes is enjoying some WWE action figures, when Goldust walks in and wants to play, too. There's a bit of tension, as Cody says he's got a system in place and Goldust is a bit of a.... Goldust cuts him off before he can say "freak," and says he just wants to play with his brother. So Cody relents. Then Bad News Barrett turns up and kicks the table, sending the action figures flying.

Viva la Product Placement! [Viva la start of the Rhodes' break-up, too?]

KOFI KINGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER

Both men are already in the ring, so we just ring the bell and go. Must be running late already, tonight..

So we go straight into the standard heel beatdown. About 2 minutes of that. Requisite babyface fire-up, which nobody is buying at first. Then Kofi actually hits the SOS, and seems to get the pinfall. Except Swagger got his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. D'oh.

Then Swagger got the Patriot Act locked in, because one of these men has an IC Title match at the PPV, and the other doesn't.

Your Winner: Jack Swagger, via submission, in 4 minutes. Thanks for playing, Kofi...

After the Match: IC Champ Big E. (no-longer-Langston) hits the ring. We find out he's scheduled to wrestle next, but first, we get a nice little staredown between him and Swagger.

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BIG E. vs. DREW McINTYRE & JINDER MAHAL (Handicap Match)

No sign of Heath Slater, but Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger hang around to watch the match. And Zeb eventually grabs a mic and starts bad-mouthing Big E. (and sneaks in some mocking of the Broncos, much to the chagrin of the Denver crowd).

The distraction gives Mahal and McIntyre a chance to credibly take control for a bit. Then Big E. comes back, hits the Big Ending on both guys, and pins McIntyre.

Your Winner: Big E., via pinfall, in 4 minutes. Even with Zeb's distracting running commentary, the outcome was never really in doubt. But back-to-back glorified squashes to spotlight both participants in the PPV IC TItle Match is not an entirely bad thing. Not the most thrilling TV, but necessary maintenance work.

Coming Soon: Alexander Rusev and some blonde lady. If you haven't seen him in NXT, the best comp I can come up with off the top of my head is, "Bulgarian Umaga." And I mean that in a good way (savage brawling will seem to be his default mode, but you will be surprised by his speed and overall work).

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Black History Month: Ron Simmons was the first African American world champ in pro wrestling. Dare I say, "Damn"?

Elimination Chamber PPV Month: every February, six men step into a steel chamber, with a ticket to WrestleMania on the line. So let's look back at the history of said Chamber, and the rules of the match, in case you've been living under a rock.

I don't recap remedial classes.

Backstage: Renee's got John Cena for an interview. Jeez, again? He says it's true that there are a whole bunch of exciting, new superstars on the rise, but reminds us that the path to the WWE Title still goes through him. And that goes for all five guys on Sunday, and it goes for Cesaro tonight...

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JOHN CENA vs. CESARO (w/ Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger)

In case you didn't get the memo, Cesaro lost the "Antonio" (just like Big E. lost the "Langston"). Why? Because Vince McMahon.

Not as much of a pro-Cesaro crowd as we had last week, but Cena's still a divisive personality. An even 50/50 split on the "Let's go Cena"/"Cena Sucks" chants to start.

Back and forth feeling out stuff eventually breaks in Cesaro's favor, as he has mastered the mat wrestling. Then Cesaro busts a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker out of nowhere, which elicits some oohs and aahhs. But before the crowd can warm to him, Cesaro goes for an armbar, and puts everyone to sleep. Probably by design.

Cesaro stays in command throughout some more kinetic brawling spots, and then settles in with a chinlock. Cena powers out of that and hits his new vertical neckbreaker, which gets a quick 2 count. But Cesaro bounces right back and dropkicks Cena out of the ring. Cesaro is getting his wits back aboutu him, while Cena's on his ass. We break for...

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Back, and we join Cena in mid-Hulk-up... but Cesaro cuts that off with a sleeperhold. Cena escapes, and starts his Five Moves of Doom... but Cesaro counters the spinebuster, and tries for the Giant Swing. Cena counters that, by hooking an ankle and going for the SSTF. Cesaro counters that, and hits a deadlift suplex for more oohs and aahhs.

That only gets a 2, and then it's more back and forth, leading up to the Elevation Uppercut by Cesaro. Again: only a 2. Cesaro signals for the Giant Swing, but wastes a lot of time setting it up, which allows Cena to hit an awesome counter: he does a sit-up into a DDT. Sweet. But only a 2.

Cena decides to try going up to the top rope, and Cesaro catches him with another big uppercut. Cena flies off the top all the way to the floor. Then, Cesaro brings Cena into the ring in the most amazing fashion: by superplexing him FROM THE APRON. Yes, Cesaro up on the ropes, Cena still standing on the apron. ANd just snatching him over for the superplex. Holy Shit, indeed.

Cesaro's frustration at only getting a 2 count gives Cena a chance to lock in the SSTF, but Cesaro quickly escapes and turns it into the Giant Swing. He gets about 10 revolutions. And the crowd chimes in "This is Awesome clap clap clapclapclap."

Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer. Cena counters into the F-U. Cesaro recounters, and escapes out the backdoor, landing a running boot. Another Neutralizer attempted, this time Cena escapes, and hits a big clothesline. Cesaro tries to surprise Cena with a small package, but Cena rolls through, and in one smooth motion, hoists Cesaro up for an F-U. Impressive. And enough to score the three count.

Your Winner: John Cena, via pinfall, in 20 minutes. Superb match, especially the second half once the crowd got totally vested. Cesaro took the loss, yes, but unless you're just trying to be a contrary wanker, you have to grant that he benefited just from having this strong a showing against Cena on such a big stage. I'm not saying I believe Cesaro will win the Chamber match on Sunday, but I now have faith that once we pass WrestleMania season and all the associated Stunt Casting, there will be a spot at the top of the card for Cesaro. Unless I completely miss my guess, he's either past the point of critical mass, or will get there very soon.

Absolutely youtube-worthy, as if I have to spell it out.

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Backstage: Randy Orton is talking to Triple H, and thanking him for the opportunity to re-prove himself. When HHH rubs his nose in his recent losses, Randall even says "OK, I deserve that." Then the two start reminiscing about Evolution, and Orton starts badmouthing Batista...

HHH starts smiling. Orton trails off. Orton glances over his shoulder. And sure enough: Batista is standing right behind him. Randy gets all sheepish as Batista steals Daniel Bryan's line from last week: "You says you're the face of WWE? More like the ass." Orton huffs and puffs, but walks away on the grounds that witty retorts are not exactly his area of expertise.

As if on cue, Alberto del Rio materializes at this exact second. What a coincidence! Alberto proceeds to cut quite the promo on Batista, saying that he may be looking ahead to WrestleMania, but how's he gonna win the WWE Title without any arms? Because on Sunday, Alberto's gonna rip them off.

Elsewhere Backstage: Renee Young announces that Darren Young vs. Titus O'Neil has been added to the EC PPV card. And speak of the devil, here's Titus. He asks if Renee knows how to spell "champion." She starts, and Titus corrects her: it's spelled T-I-T-U-S. Then he drops 731 days on us, and generally blames all his ills of the past 2 years on Darren Young. This will be rectified on Sunday. Gotta give it to Titus: he's got the promo side down. That's half the battle.

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LOS MATADORES & SIN CARA (w/ El Torito) vs. THE WYATT FAMILY

We're all adults here. Let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your Winners: the Wyatts, via pinfall, in 5 minutes. Sin Cara did get about 45 seconds of hope spot after a hot tag. But the Wyatts no-sold El Torito's chicanery, and snuffed out the comeback in short order. They don't tolerate that happy crappy.

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JEY USO (w/ Jimmy) vs. BILLY GUNN (w/ Road Dogg)

The Outlaws are defending the tag titles against the Usos on the PPV, and not willingly. Jimmy and Road Dogg join commentary, and do a nice job making the story clear: the Outlaws have spent a month ducking and avoiding the Usos, and have been forced into the defense. Road Dogg's insecure over-compensation is delightful.

Then Jey got a quick schoolboy roll-up on Billy, and that was that.

Your Winner: Jey Uso, via pinfall, in 4 minutes. Match wasn't terrible, but it was terribly bland to the point that the crowd amused itself by chanting "SEE EM PUNK" and that the guest commentary pretty much stole the show. Oh well...

After the Match: Road Dogg tried to jump up into the ring to sneak attack, and got cut off by a superkick from Jimmy. A quick Pier Four brawl is won by the Usos, as the Outlaws slink back into the shadows.

Backstage: Byron Saxton has Sheamus for an interview. The topic du jour: facing Randy Orton. Sheamus says he knows some people think his comedic side is his best side. And he kind of hopes that Orton's one of the people who makes that mistake. Because tonight, he's deadly serious, and is going to meet the Viper with some Blunt Force Trauma. And then on Sunday? He'll do it again, and punch his ticket to a WWE Title defense at WrestleMania.

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SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON (Non-Title Match)

Sheamus wins a few early lock-ups, and Orton bails out of the ring, like a good cowardly heel should. The crowd is so enthralled that they once again fire up a "SEE EM PUNK" chant.

The slow roll continues for a few minutes, with Sheamus getting the better of it, then Orton powdering out. Sheamus finally follows Orton out of the ring, and slams him off the announce table to gain a more decisive advantage. But it doesn't last...

Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, but it's way too early; Orton side steps, and Sheamus crotches himself on the top rope. Orton shoves him out to the floor, and while both men regroup, we break for our final...

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Back, and Orton's got.... wait for it.... wait for it.... wait for it... a chinlock! Shocking!

Luckily for us, Sheamus only puts up with about a minute of that before starting his comeback. He starts with a backdrop suplex, and then takes it outside the ring. Orton re-reverses the momentum, however, whipping Sheamus into the steel ringsteps, and then bringing him back into the ring.

Sheamus is only briefly in trouble, though. When Orton goes for a superplex, Sheamus shoves him off and hits a top rope battering ram. The match spills outside again, and we flip-flop again: Orton takes control and slams Sheamus through the announce table.

Orton will be happy to take the count-out win, but Sheamus gets back in the ring at a count of 9. But "back in the ring" does not mean "in good shape." Orton continues the beatdown in methodical fashion, including the always-thrilling Garvin Stomp. Orton gets a 2 count after his pendulous power slam, but dawdles afterwards.

So Sheamus counters a Hangman DDT into the Ten of Clubs. Sheamus goes for the Celtic Cross, but Orton returns the favor by countering with his wraparound backbreaker. THEN he hits the Hangman DDT.

The Viper Coils (tm), but the RKO is countered into an Irish Curse. And another. And another. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, and....

The Shield attack? Yes, the Shield attack! The swarm on Sheamus, and the ref has to call for the bell.

Your Winner: Sheamus, via disqualification, in 15 minutes. Or I guess it could be a "no decision," but why not play up Orton's losing streak, if you can? Especially when he can finally blame one of his losses on somebody else. Not too shabby, I guess, but between the slower pace and the cheap finish, easily the least of Orton's five Gauntlet matches this month. Oh well; he was bound to regress to the mean, eventually...

After the Match: Cena, Bryan, Cesaro, and Christian all hit the ring... the first two to save Sheamus from the Shield, presumably. The latter two just because. But before the Pier Niner can get up to speed, the lights go out...

And the Wyatts are in the ring. This time, Bray does NOT blink, and the Wyatts attack the Shield, while the Chamber guys start brawling, too. It's two discrete Pier Sixers, rather than a Pier Twelve job, but it's still quite chaotic. Before anyone gains any sort of advantage, we fade to black with a final hard sell for Sunday's Elimination Chamber PPV.

And so ends the show. Not exactly subtle. Not exactly clever. But you know what? I'll let it slide.

Yes, it's a fairly lazy ending to a go-home show. "Here, have all 12 guys from the top two matches on Sunday, and use your imagination" ain't gonna bowl anyone over. But then I realize something: Sunday is the last time ever (EVAR!) that WWE is going to ask us to fork over $55 for a PPV.

So, for old time's sake, we'll let them do a half-assed job on the final hype, so we can act all indignant and butt-hurt over the price tag, and then wind up having a fun enough time watching the show, afterall.

Because from here on out, PPVs are included in the $9.99 per month fee for the WWE Network, and you'd have to be a real prick to bitch and moan about WWE's product when it's that cheap. Well, I guess you can still bitch and moan about the quality... but this weekend is the last chance we'll have to complain about the quality relative to the price. Let's revel in it!

And let's also be honest: that wasn't a bad show by any stretch. The ending was a bit left-field-y (unless someone out there has any reasonable explanation for the Shield's arrival), and the immediate fade to black may have turned it into more of a cock-tease-y anticlimax than a solid sell job for the PPV... but give me over 30 straight minutes to Daniel Bryan to open the show, then an absolutely stellar Cena/Cesaro match (which may well stand the test of time and be the Match of the Week even AFTER the PPV; it was that good), and it's real hard to crap on the show as a whole.

It did the bare minimum of what it had to do, maintenance-wise, for the PPV, with one or two moments of going well above and beyond the call. Stepping back, looking at the big picture, and consulting my Inner Pyro, I think that adds up to a grade of B.

See you when I see you, kids... perhaps not till WrestleMania weekend. Sooner if I decide to insert kooky "Ed. Notes" in Pyro's recaps, while I'm gooned on morphine!

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.