OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
These Things Come in Threes...
April 21, 2014

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

I'm not a particularly religious man, but I would like to take a moment to thank the Church Fathers who, back in antiquity, set up the crazy rules regarding the precise date of Easter.

Because, here in 2014, it just happened yesterday, which is one of the latest dates upon which it can fall (it's most commonly during the first week of April, and only falls this late or later about 12% of the time). In other words, if 2014 had been like most years, I would have still had a Feeding Tube in me on Easter, and would not have gotten to feast on the delicious Easter Ham, due to my 100 Days of Medical Unpleasantness.

And that, my friends, would have been an utterly unacceptable tragedy. I may be a heathen in most ways, but even I must bow down and worship the Easter Ham. So sacrilicious. It's my favorite holiday meal of the year, and thanks to a freakishly late Easter this year, I didn't have to miss it.

Well, thanks to a late Easter, and also doctors and nurses and medical science, too.

Without getting too deep into long standing Scaia Family traditions, I will also quickly share another Story of Joy from yesterday... one of the things we do is an Easter egg cracking game. We crack eggs, and the ones that don't break advance to the next round, until only one unbroken egg remains.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is what the winning egg looked like this year:

YES! YES! YES! That's my egg! I really enjoyed the glorious victory. Not only because it seemed like a fitting homage to Warrior, but because I fricking HATE hard-boiled eggs, and since my egg didn't break, I didn't have to eat one!

Oh, and if you think my egg is a horrible sloppy mess, just zip it, because it's ANOTHER Scaia Family Tradition that I spend as little time as humanly possible decorating my egg, because I enjoy being the grouch who points out how stupid Family Traditions are, even while participating in them. I'm sure I could have done better, but if I had, then everybody would think I cared! Fie on that!

And fie on excessive prerambling! You've already spent twice as long reading this as I spent on that egg. So here's the story of tonight's RAW:

Last Week on RAW: a video package for the benefit of those with ADD. OO: not recapping recaps since 2001!

THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM

With Brie Bella already waiting in the ring, WWE Champ Daniel Bryan makes his grand return to RAW after a one week absence. They got married 10 days ago, and were MIA last week to celebrate their honeymoon. Bryan is notably distracted and less animated, and gets a little extra TLC from Brie once he gets to the ring; sadly, the reason why is because Bryan's dad passed away yesterday. So for TV storyline purposes, this is Bryan's victorious return to RAW after winning the world title and marrying his dream girl all in the same week, but there's that other thing, going unspoken, beneath the surface.

And on that note, here's Stephanie McMahon to rain on Bryan's parade. She sarcastically mocks Bryan and Brie's decidedly rustic wedding, but after that, she's all business, as she announces that it's time to get back to work... and for Bryan, that means defending his new WWE Title. And Steph is here to inform him that his first defense will be at Extreme Rules...

Against Kane.

Kane's music hits, and Steph immediately starts shrieking that now is not that time, and Kane should stay put, and not do anything stupid. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, Bryan carefully ushers Brie out of the ring, and while keeping his eyes on the top of the stage...

And that's when Kane emerges out of the timekeeper's cubicle, and clobbers Bryan from behind. Kane briefly stalks Brie, all while Steph keeps trying to talk him down. She even implores Brie to "run, run away, Brie."

Bryan manages to land one forearm blow from behind, which allows Brie to make her escape, but from there on out, it's all Kane, all the time. The assault builds up to a Tombstone on the floor. But if you think Kane is done, you're wrong.

With Steph still screaming cautionary warnings at Kane, he pulled the steel ring steps apart, and delivered ANOTHER Tombstone onto the bottom portion of the steps. Now, and only now, Kane decides to walk away.

Medics arrive and put Bryan in a neckbrace and put him on a stretcher... then Kane suddenly changes gears, and comes back. He dumps Kane off the stretcher, and -- with Steph still trying to assert her authority by telling Kane to stop, but incongruously not actually exercising said authority by doing anything like calling for security or other wrestlers or anything -- starts clearing the announce table.

Then he drags Bryan's carcass over, and hits a third Tombstone, onto the announce table. It does not break. It just makes a sickening thudding sound.

Kane finally, and for real, has had enough, and walks away. For her part, Stephanie calls him a "sick bastard" on his way out. Medics return, and start tending to Bryan as we cut to commercials...

I mean, plus 10 points for a good ol' fashioned, ultra-violent rasslin' angle to re-establish a monster heel as a threat to an inherently underdog-ish babyface... but am I alone for finding Steph's participation more than a bit distracting or counter-productive? She's the boss; if she wanted to stop this, she could have done a billion things, other than just shrieking overly-drama-y warnings in her perpetually insincere character voice.

The only "out" here is if she reveals later on that she orchestrated the whole thing, and Kane did exactly what she wanted. Only problem is that, even if that is the big reveal, you've done a poor job in execution if your big "swerve" -- which you will milk and treat like a surprise -- is the only logical conclusion a fan can reach.

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Fallout: when we return, Bryan's still getting medical attention at ringside, and we rehash Kane's attack as he's finally stretchered out.

Meantime, Steph gets back on the mic one final time, and asks the crowd to please give the fallen WWE Champion a huge round of applause. Again, it seems to me to be anything but sincere, and dripping with Steph's innate bitchy heelishness, but everybody's treating it as such a deathly serious matter that it's caused Steph to find religion.

And I'm still not buying it. If the big reveal is that Steph is behind all of this, let's just say that I don't understand for one second why you'd bother with attempting the swerve, other than ham-fisted, over-reaching writer-y-ness. Just have Steph own up to it, and make the moment even more impactful, cuz delaying the inevitable is not the same as being clever.

But again, maybe that's just me, and you didn't find her antics distracting and superfluous....

SHEAMUS vs. WADE BARRETT (IC Tourney Match)

Barrett has some "Bad News" for us on his way to the ring... but it amounts to "It's not St. Patrick's Day, so Sheamus' luck has run out." So let's just move on...

Sheamus hits the ring, and we waste no time getting down to slobberknockery. The two trade clubbering blows, and Wade finally decides to bail out of the ring to regroup. Sheamus responds by going up to the second rope and hitting a crossbody to the floor.

But it took a bit out of Sheamus, and there's a brief delay before he tries to herd Barrett back into the ring... Barrett reverses things, and chucks Sheamus into the ring apron. Barrett gets into the ring, as Sheamus crumples. Break in the action means we break for...

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Back, and Barrett's still in control, working a chinlock... but Sheamus quickly powers out of it, and dumps Barrett with a suplex. His rally continues with a few Irish Hammers and knee strikes. Ten of Clubs. Top rope battering ram. But even after all that, his first pin attempt only gets a 2.

So let's try an Irish Curse. Two. Sheamus is frustrated, and delays, giving Barrett a chance to recover, and counter a Brogue Kick with a Winds of Change. Only a two. BUllhammer Elbow misses. Sheamus turns it into White Noise.

More frustration and delay by Sheamus. They trade blows, with Sheamus getting the better of it, and hitting a flying tackle that sends Barrett tumbling out of the ring. Sheamus goes over and tries to yank him back up into the ring, but Barrett kicks him off, and follows up with a leaping Bullhammer, from the floor, up through the ropes. A quick cover, and it's all over.

Your Winner: Wade Barrett, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. Good match, but so much for my prognosticatory powers... or, more accurately: so much for my personal wish list. I really thought Cesaro and Sheamus could do something special in a full-length feature match. But now, it looks like the IC Finals will have to be RVD vs. Barrett... or is there still some shred of babyface in Cesaro, regardless of Heyman's hateability?

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Coming Soon: Bo Dallas. I've said my piece, at this point.

Coming Sooner: Hugh Jackman is returning to RAW as next week's Guest Host. They show footage from last time Jackman was on RAW; rather than focusing on Zack Ryder's brush with relevance, they focus on how Jackman KO'd Dolph Ziggler, and how Ziggler (apparently) is the one who "invited" Jackman back.

Then they showed some tweets, where Damien Sandow accused Ziggler of being a Hollywood jocksniffer (but he did it in more high-falutin' words)... so look for Sandow to be the one who gets knocked out by Wolverine next Monday. Whee?

Prelude to an Asskicking: WWE's holding a poll to determine John Cena's opponent for later tonight... it will be Luke Harper, or Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, or Haper and Rowan AND Bray Wyatt.

With that, the lantern is lit. They're here. The lantern goes out. And the Wyatts hit the top of the stage, where Bray has a few thoughts for us.

He espouses his basic world view that all the people out there are either meek, following sheep, or disgusting, hyper-consumer pigs. But he wants to bring about change, and tonight, WWE has given them all a chance to show what they've learned. They've got a chance to pick John Cena's poison... will they try to give their hero an easier time, or demand that he prove his worth in a test by fire.

Bray hopes it's the latter, but he assures us that no matter what, he'll get his message across to Cena, inside a steel cage, at Extreme Rules. He's confident, because he's got the whole world in his hands...

The crowd sings along with the punchline, and it should be really interesting to see how this poll plays out. I suspect that fans like us (i.e. mostly adults) would love to see the Wyatts dominate Cena, because we're all contrary jerkfaces... but we're also a bit too jaded to play along with WWE's second screen nonsense when they still have trouble making the first-screen compelling. So that'll leave the kiddies and the sheeple to vote... and Bray pretty much threw down the gauntlet: if they choose just Harper, they're almost admitting a lack of faith in Cena. But if they choose all three, there's a good chance Cena will no be able to handle it.

Try as I might, I can't put myself into the mindset of a 13 year old girl, so I'm really not sure how this'll turn out. Other than to say the middle option for "Harper and Rowan" will get less than 10% of the vote. Seriously, why's that one even there?

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LOS MATADORES/EL TORITO vs. 3MB/HORNSWOGGLE (w/ Heath Slater)

Slater's back on TV, but will be at ringside for this 6-man tag. Or, as JBL calls it, a 5-man tag, because it's two-and-a-half vs. two-and-a-half.

By "popular" demand, the midgets wind up starting the match. Torito seems to have the match won after a moonsault (the way he won the match on Friday), but Jinder Mahal breaks up the fall. Swoggle is able to tag to McIntyre, and Torito insists on remaining in the ring.

After various ballsac-related moves, Torito has leveled all of 3MB, and then the Matadores join in for a triple-team seated senton. Torito pins McIntyre. Poor fella...

Your Winners: El Torito and Los Matadores, via pinfall, in 3 minutes flat. Probably a bit more fun than the singles midget match on SmackDown, but that's damning faint praise. And it's still about a billion miles away from anything you could take seriously or sink your teeth into. Which is fine when you don't really WANT to take things seriously (witness: I can laugh at Santino's hijinx, because that's the whole reason why he has a job), but I actually feel legitimately bad for Drew McIntyre. Oh well...

In the Parking Lot: a giant limo arrives. Inside, it's Evolution. Because, apparently, the COO of the company doesn't have to arrive until the show is already half-over. Ahem.

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Coming Soon: Adam Rose. See "Dallas, Bo."

"OPTION #3" FOR THE WIN

They've managed to excise 99% of Ric Flair's presence from the Evolution Titantron video. But they were far less careful about HHH's hair, which still exists in most of the footage used.

The present-day three-man configuraton of the group hits the ring, each of them grabbing a mic. HHH opens the discussion, and sounds like he's nursing one hell of a cold. He also paints a word picture in which the Shield are an upstart teenager, rebelling against anything and everything, but Evolution is their daddy, who just gave them a public spanking last Monday night.

Orton speaks next, and says nothing of substance, other than to lead into a video package of Evolution's beatdown of the Shield. He does it just like HHH did on Friday: instead of making a point to direct our attention to the Tron, he just sort of trails off and lets the video package take over. Add that to my list of personal gripes tonight... it's just phoney as hell to pretend like people go through life with a magical TV screen behind them that will finish their setences for them. At least give me something to work with: point to the Tron and make it clear that you've prepared a video presentation, instead of treating it like a magic flashback.

Out of the package, Batista gets about a half dozen words in, and that's when the Shield's music hits. They enter through the crowd, and Evolution decides to take a powder. They stand on the stage as Ambrose takes a mic. He says he hates to break it to them, but the Shield have been beaten up before. They'll be beaten up again. They're not exactly traumatized by last week.

Along the way, he manages to call Orton "creampuff," which makes me smile.

Rollins takes the mic, and continues the basic premise that they're OK with what happened last week. It's insulting to say the Shield are in over their head, or dont' know what they've gotten themselves into. Furthermore, he thinks the Shield are in good position to dominate at Extreme Rules, because the Shield will be looking out for The Shield. But Evolution will be looking out for their individual concerns.

Reigns' turn. "In a couple seconds, I'm gonna drop this mic, and we're gonna come up there and kick your asses. And you can do two things about it. You can stay there and try to fight back. Or you can turn tail and run like cowards." Mic is dropped, and the Shield begin strolling up the ramp.

Triple H immediately calls for Option #3. A dozen guys come out onto the stage, presumably the same from last week's main event (but I didn't take time to rewind and freezeframe it), and it becomes a 15-on-3 fight. The Shield are now the ones who have to stop in their tracks, and Evolution stand their ground, wearing shit-eating grins.

Earlier Tonight: stuff happened, while Stephanie narrated. It seems even less sincere upon second viewing. So I can only assume we are eventually heading towards the "shocking" reveal that Steph actually orchestrated everything. Shocking to the mentally-enfeebled, anyway.

But joking aside, OO only "recaps this recap" because it also provided the context for an update on Bryan's condition... Cole tells us he's been taken to the hospital, and while the initial prognosis is promising (only a stinger), they'll still be keeping Bryan overnight for observation. In other words, WWE told him "Thanks for hanging around for the start of the show, but now, hurry up and get your ass on the last flight out of town, and go deal with real life." Or at least, that's how I'm going to choose to interpret things. OO sends a blend of kudos and condolences to Bryan, and hopes he figured out how to do Baltimore-to-Seattle, late on a Monday, in the timeliest fashion possible.

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THE USOS vs. GOLDUST/CODY RHODES (Non-Title)

Rybaxel are sitting in on guest commentary. Cole says this match might have WWE Tag Title implications, and Ryback can only laugh, saying that clearly, Rybaxel should be the #1 Contenders after beating the Rhodes Boys last Monday.

Fast back and forth start, then things settle down. But there's no clear-cut formula. Without any heels, there are also no faces in peril. Just a few tags on each side, leading up to a spot where Cody sets up for Crossrhodes, which brings the other Uso into the ring for a quick double-team superkick. Fin.

Your Winners: the Usos, via pinfall, in 4 minutes. Not much of a match, really, but it did lead up to an eventful post-match....

After the Match: Cody had words with Goldust, ostensibly regarding why he didn't have Cody's back... and then delivered a stiff shove to Goldust before walking out on him. Goldust followed, pleading his case, as the Usos sort of watched, non-plussed.

That meant they were distracted when Rybaxel got up from the commentary desk and attacked from behind. A short-but-sweet beatdown, and we play Rybaxel's music, because -- like it or not -- they're obviously the new #1 Contenders.

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EMMA (w/ Santino) vs. LAYLA (w/ Fandango)

FYI, as good a fit as Layla is with Fandango, it turns out WWE made the move out of necessity, not as a stroke of genius... Summer Rae is taking time off to shoot "The Marine 4" (w/ Miz), and they didn't want Fandango to be partner-less for a month.

Super-time-compression to get us to Layla's heel beatdown. That lasts for about 60 seconds. They Emma ducks on a criss-cross and hits a big lariat on the rebound. Outside the ring, Santino randomly assaults Fandango with the Cobra.

Ahhhh, I see: the Cobra's appearance compells Emma to reach into her boot, and pull out a pink Lady Cobra, which she promptly uses to knock out Layla.

Your Winner: Emma, via pinfall, in 2 minutes. After the match, a fine example of comedy that I can enjoy because I don't, for one second, want to take it seriously: Santino and Emma take their clumsiness and (broad) physical comedy to an all new level, as the two Cobras keep getting entangled. Adorkable. JBL suggests this is how cobras "cope-ulate" (his mispronunciation, not mine).

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Backstage: Renee Young asks John Cena about tonight's WWE fan poll. Cena keeps it brief (and, thankfully, joke-free) as he says he knows first-hand how tough the entire Wyatt Family are, and facing any one of them is a tough task, much less fighting all three. But, he assures us, you can knock him down, but never count him out. Simple. Inoffensive.

ANTONIO CESARO vs. JIM JOHNSTON

Cesaro hits the ring, with Paul Heyman, to utterly generic new music with an air-raid siren interspersed at random intervals. I can only hope it's a placeholder, partly because it's completely unremarkable. But mostly because anything that reminds me of Scott Steiner is a bad thing.

They get to the ring, and Heyman immediately begins reminding us that his client, Barack Lesnar, beat the Undertaker. When it becomes apparent that he's simply recutting Friday's promo, WWE cuts to...

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Still Going: Back, and Heyman's still saying his client, Barack Lesnar, beat the Undertaker. Over and over again. Until RVD's music interrupts.

ROB VAN DAM vs. CESARO (w/ Paul Heyman) (IC Tourney Match)

Basic feeling-out start sees RVD take control, until Cesaro sidesteps a charge, and RVD slams into the ring post. Cesaro puts an exclaimation point on it by dropkicking RVD in the ass, so he rams into the post again. Cesaro begins posing and taunting, as we break for...

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Back, and Cesaro's working a chinlock. RVD tries to rally with a spinny kick, but Cesaro avoids it and hits his deadlift suplex. The beatdown continues with various stomps and strikes (including the double belly stomp).. Then, it's back to the chinlock.

RVD shows off his flexibility by getting to his feet, and then hitting an over-the-shoulder kick while still in the chinlock. That breaks the hold, and sets RVD off on a rally. Rolling Thunder only gets a two. Jumping sidekick only gets a two.

Then RVD goes up top for the Five Star, but Cesaro catches him with a big uppercut, crotching Van Dam on the turnbuckle. Cesaro joins him, setting up for a superplex, but RVD shoves him off, and hits the split legged moonsault. Two.

We suddenly kick it into another gear, with rapid fire high-impact moves and reversals, including a double-underhook powerbomb by Cesaro (a/k/a Ahmed Johnson's Pearl River Plunge). WIcked, but it only gets a two.

So Cesaro decides to hit the Giant Swing. Before he can, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter hit the ring and created a distraction. RVD tried to capitalize by diving out onto Cesaro, but Cesaro caught him with the Elevation Uppercut. Cesaro tosses RVD back into the ring...

But as the ref is momentarily turned around to check on RVD, Swagger strikes and chucks Cesaro into the ring post. The ref turns around, and sees nothing but Cesaro in a heap, so he starts counting. And he gets to 10.

Your Winner: Rob Van Dam, via countout, in 10 minutes. Started slow, but it sure did pick up and get good by the end. The count-out finish may not be the most exciting, but you had to get RVD to advance without slowing Cesaro's momentum, so it works.

After the Match: RVD gets out of dodge, and Swagger tries to continue his attack on Cesaro. Cesaro gets the upper hand, and tries to cap things off by Swinging Zeb... but once he finally corners Colter, Swagger has recovered enough to make the save and pull Zeb to safety.

So... no IC Title for Cesaro at the PPV, but instead, a match against Swagger? I guess that's OK, but only if we can trust the fans to follow along with Cesaro's flip-flopping between face and heel. I suspect it'll be OK if they embrace an internally-consistant sort of "anti-Cena" vibe for Cesaro, instead of having Cesaro going to any great lengths to sway the kiddies (or to piss off the adults) based on his current alignment.

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Backstage: Renee talks to RVD about advancing in the IC Tourney... the interview has just barely started when Cesaro and Heyman storm in and call shennanigans on RVD's cheap/tainted win. RVD's all "hey, a win's a win" and then offers Cesaro some free advice: keep your wallet and your career as far away from a self-absorbed worm like Heyman. He points to self, then leaves. Just a cheap heat one-liner? Or foreshadowing a sooner-than-later split between Cesaro and Heyman, which would uncomplicate the heel/face issue (and more than likely, result in a Cesaro/Lesnar match which would rule).

PAIGE vs. AKSANA (Non-Title)

Their match on Friday got solid reviews, so I guess they figure they'll throw it out there again for the other half of WWE's audience that doesn't watch Friday night wrestling.

Which is fine, except -- from the sound of things -- the live audience already saw it once, just like me. Also, it's live, so they don't get the benefit of editing when things get a bit botchy. D'oh.

Aksana with 90% of the offense, fiery comeback by Paige. Scorpion Crosslock. Tap tap tappy tap.

Your Winner: Paige, via submission, in 4 minutes. So Paige is good. Very good. But she wasn't gonna hit a home run every time up. Nobody does.

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SIN CARA vs. ALEXANDER RUSEV (w/ Lana)

We're all adults here, so let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your Winner: Rusev, via submission, in about 2 minutes. Yes, I know they're calling it something else, but it's still a Camel Clutch to me. Of note: they officially announced the Rusev vs. Truth/Woods handicap match for the PPV. What do I win? Also of note: Lana's "business suit" skirts keep getting shorter and tighter. And pretty unbusiness-y. As of tonight, we might as well just call her "Russian Debra."

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Poll Results: first, Cena makes his full ring entrance. Then, Jerry Lawler gets up and reveals the results of tonight's poll. I was right: Harper and Rowan only got 9%.

Oh, and all three Wyatts won 53-38 over just Harper. So that match is cominng up next. By which we mean after these...

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JOHN CENA vs. THE WYATT FAMILY (Handicap Match)

The Wyatts jumpstart things with a 3-on-1 attack. But tonight's rules require the heels to tag in and out, so the ref doesn't ring the bell until Harper steps up, and the other two step out.

Harper continues the beatdown for a minute. Then, a minute by Rowan. Then Bray tags in, and drags Cena's limp carcass around in a caricature of slow-dancing. Crowd pops for that.

Then Harper's back in for more serious business. He does several minutes of heavy lifting, until Cena hits a German suplexx out of nowhere. Time to get a fresh man in; Rowan in to regain control.

Once again, Bray comes in, and just mocks and taunts Cena, then tags back out without landing a single blow.

Harper back in to continue the one-sided affair. When it spills outside, Cena gets thrown into the ring steps. All three Wyatts take the opportunity to celebrate, while we take the opportunity to watch our final...

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Back, and Harper's still firmly in control for another minute or so until Cena mounts a serious comeback... Harper gets in trouble, and Bray demands to be tagged in, at which point he immediately snuffs out Cena's comeback with a sidewalk slam. He throws in another couple moves, and then breaks into song.

Bray's work here is done. For now. So he tags in Rowan. When Cena tries another comeback, a few minutes later, Bray again chooses to tag in to take care of things. But when Bray slows things down to do his Exorcist Crab Walk, Cena cuts him off short with a clothesline.

Now it's his for-real comeback as he goes to town on Bray, and then fights off Harper and Rowan. For a split second, he's alone in the ring with Bray, and snaps off an F-U. But as he makes the cover, Harper and Rowan strike, and the ref decides to call for the bell.

Your Winner: John Cena, via disqualification, in 20 minutes. Match was laid out simply, but effectively, and led up to a fairly obvious finish that was booked so that it would fit, no matter what the fans voted for. Maybe a bit overlong for the story it told, but I can look the other way on that, considering it's very likely that Bryan's absence required somebody to step up and eat up some in-ring time. And no matter what, I can't overstate how much this is still an improvement over Cena showing us juvenile photoshops.

After the Match: the Wyatts continued the 3-on-1 attack, now that the ref's authority had waned. After about 90 seconds, Cena is completely out. Bray sat down, and cradled Cena's head in his lap as he delivered 3 verses worth of "He's Got the Whole World in his Hands." We fade to black on Bray laughing and stroking Cena's head in a creepily maternal fashion.

And so ends the show. In the RAW Preivew/Discussion Thread on the OO Forums, I said all WWE had to do was basic maintenance work on Cena/Wyatt and Evolution/Shield, and focus some more serious energies on setting up Bryan/Kane for the PPV.

As noted above, I suspect Bryan's participation was drastically reduced so he could make plans to get back to his family before tomorrow afternoon. So WWE only got about 15 minutes of Bryan, which is a pretty major limitation. But other than Steph's actions seeming a few degrees off the mark, I think they got a lot out of that time. Triple Tombstones -- with a genuine gasp of horror for the one on the ring steps -- tell a pretty convincing story, and set Bryan up to re-attempt his victorious return to RAW next Monday.

That left Cena to do what franchise players do: he stepped up and bit the bullet on a huge 20-minute match that was probably originally planned to go half that (or less, and maybe not even in the main event slot). The basic story told -- including the obvious finish -- was still more than sufficient to keep the story going and keep Bray's momentum increasing as he rebounds from the WM loss.

In between those two segments, the two IC Tourney matches stood out above all the rest. Both were good matches (especially the closing segment of RVD/Cesaro), and as much as I was expecting/hoping-for Cesaro vs. Sheamus in the finals, I also don't mind it when wrestling suprises me. There's no law that says I won't get Cesaro vs. Sheamus, eventually, it just won't be next Monday. Meantime, now it looks like WWE is taking this push for Barrett seriously, and that's most definitely GOOD news.

Everything else? Eh, my momma taught me that if I don't have anything good to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. I know I've never heeded that advice in the past (not even in this very recap), but I'm looking for an excuse to wrap things up. So I won't dump on the segments that were little more than half-assed filler.

You're welcome.

Taking a step back, and trying to come up with a letter grade for tonight's overall presentation, My Inner Pyro calls it a C-plus. A C-minus in a vacuum, but plus two ticks to account for extenuating circumstances.

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RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.