OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
The Best RAW of 2014? Maybe so.
June 30, 2014

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

I got a few emails after last night, accusing me of being a "WWE Shill," because I kept mentioning that everybody reading should just cough up the $10 per month for the WWE Network, already.

I honestly have no idea how anyone could mistake me for someone in the Pocket of Big Sports Entertainment, and I have an equal number of emails calling me a bitter, humorless jerk who should have stepped watching wrestling years ago, because I clearly can't enjoy it.

Per usual, it annoys me when people stop paying attention to what I say, and start trying to imagine, for themsleves, what they think I mean. But in this case, I assure you that any advocacy I do of the WWE Network, it's honestly because I think YOU are taking advantage of THEM by ordering it. It's not because I've got a vested interest in WWE's success, it's because I think you're getting way more than you pay for.

And that should be the dream of consumers, everywhere. The opportunity to feel like you've just ripped off a major corporation just doesn't happen often. But this is one of those times. That's all I'm trying to convey.

[TANGENT: some really interesting/baffling data after 2 months of the Network... domestic PPV buys for WrestleMania topped 200,000, and were around 40,000 for Extreme Rules. These are people in the US, who have access to the Network, and who still decided "I'd rather pay $50 for just one show, instead of paying $60 for six months of PPVs." It doesn't take a Hidden Agenda to wonder what the hell is up with those people, and suggest that they may be poor consumers. I joked that anyone who watched Money in the Bank on the Network last night basically MADE money on the deal, given the strong matches... but there's a kernal of truth in there, and I just can't help but wonder what those people are thinking.]

Anyway, that's my response to anyone who thinks I'm a WWE Puppet. To those who periodically write in and call me a bitter, out of touch ex-fan, well, my response follows. Because goddamn was that ever a tremendously fun 3 hours of RAW:

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: There was a 10PV last night. OO does not recap recaps.

JOHN CENA WANTS TO DO THINGS THE HARD WAY

The Authority are here to open the show, and Steph immediately annoys the hell out of the live crowd by declaring that she was born -- right here -- in Hartford, CT. It doesn't work quite the same way as when Mick Foley does it. In fact, the crowd only half-heartedly boos, and gives her a "SEE EM PUNK" chant, which has GOT to be starting to get on their nerves. [It's their own fault; they hyped a Former WWE Champion would be returning tonight. And even though it'sprobably just gonna be Miz, the fans are within their rights to wish it was somebody -- you know? -- good. Actually, joshing aside, the hints seem to be pointing to Miz returning as a heel, which really WOULD be best for business, and not nearly as big a letdown, in my mind, as him returning as a face.]

But then it's onto business, which is re-recapping the recap that opened the show. Daniel Bryan this, Seth Rollins that, John Cena the other. And then they call Cena, the new WWE Champion, to the ring.

Cena enters, wearing both belts draped around his neck, to his standard level of polarity. Cena gives a shout-out to Daniel Bryan, reminding us that -- in his mind -- nobody's beaten Bryan for the WWE Title, and he's just keeping it warm for him. Awwwww.

Steph mocks the tender moment, and says it's time to talk about business, which means unveiling the cover of the new 2K15 videogame... and it just so happens to feature Mr. 15 Times, John Cena. Isn't that neato?

The cover pops down from the ceiling, but Cena is suspicious. WHat's up with all the niceness? Just 24 hours ago, they were crushed when Cena won the title, and now they're friends. Per usual, he's using his extra-phony angry street voice...

Which causes Triple H to go off the rails with an awesome riff making fun of Cena with various mentions of "homies" and "yo" and so forth. Cena responds by just threatening to kick HHH's ass, and HHH responds to that level of creativity by getting back on track.

HHH admits that they might have had a desire to see Randy Orton win the title, but at the end of the day, he doesn't have a problem with Cena as champion. Cena's money, and when there's money to be had, HHH will always be willing to work with someone. So what say you, Cena: will you work with me, or will we have to do this the hard way?

Cena says "hard way, please." And HHH reveals that means that his first title defense will be a Fatal Fourway, at Battleground, where Cena can lose his title without being pinned. And tonight, we'll even get a little preview of that match, when Cena teams with one of his opponents, Roman Reigns, against Kane and Randy Orton.

For reasons known only to the Writer Monkeys, Cena's response to that is to makes a series of references to Stephanie getting tossed into the Mystery Brown Goo last Monday, and then leave, as if victorious. Uh, Jonjon, nothing about that resembled a punchline, or a moral victory.

THat's OK, it wasn't the real punchline. HHH orders that they cut Cena's music, and says "Oh, Jon. On the off chance you survive at Battleground, just know that we've always got a Plan B."

Seth Rollins shows up on the stage and gestures (Broadly) to his newly won MitB Briefcase, that allows him to ambush Cena anytime he wants. And with three opponents at Battleground, Cena's bound to have a moment of weakness or two in the near future. THAT's a punchline.

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ROB VAN DAM vs. SETH ROLLINS

A rematch from last Monday, and a callback to two of the stars of last night's MitB Briefcase Match. Quick start for RVD is met with a loud "E-C-DUB" chant. Rollins eventually has to powder out and play the chickenshit for a bit.

That cat and mouse is combined with a subtext that both guys are a step slow and still hurting from last night to create an artificial sense of late-match drama, despite it being only 2 minutes in. Also, Rollins finally uses a foray out of the ring to do the standard cat-and-mouse role reversal, catching RVD with a clothesline when he finally decides to follow.

RVD is floored, and Rollins is still regrouping, so the natural break in the action leads to a break for....

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Back, and it appears as though Rollins has been working on Van Dam's left leg throughout the break, and is still on it, leading up to a half-crab. RVD is able to get a rope break, though, and thus begins his fire up.

Some kicks set up the Rolling Thunder for a 2-count. Split-legged moonsault (with Rollins on his stomach) seems to target Rollins' tender spot: his lower back. But again, only a 2. Nice bit of counter wrestling has ROllins try for his Turnbuckle Bomb, only to have RVD turn it into a rana into the turnbuckle.

RVD has notions of a Five Star, but Rollins rolls out of the ring, thinking he'll be safe out there. Instead, Van Dam dives with a crossbody to the floor. When the two head back into the ring, Rollins is able to grab RVD's leg and do a leg lariat, assisted by the middle rope. Nasty. Follows up with a Curb Stomp, and that's it.

Your Winner: Seth Rollins, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. No bad at all. A little bit old school, with both guys really selling specific injuries, and targeting those. As alluded to above, that gave a 10 minute match the feel of a 20 minute war, by artificially "aging" the match. It's a neat little trick if it works. And in this case, the fans definitely bit on it.

After the Match: Renee Young steps into the ring to interview Rollins, and Rollins immediately takes issue with her (completely imaginary) disrespect. He manages to call her "toots," channeling his Inner Heenan, while putting himself over as the greatest thing ever.

But here's Dean Ambrose, popping up on the TitanTron (true story: he's dating Renee, but I don't think we're supposed to view that as the reason for coming to the rescue here)... he says "You don't really think this is over, do you, Seth? I mean, from one scumbag to another, I at least thought you were smart enough that you wouldn't get rid of me after one match and help from Uncle Kane." Then, he finishes up by saying that the MitB Briefcase isn't exactly what Rollins thinks it is; it's filled with dynamite, and it's gonna explode in Rollins' face.

I assume that's an allusion to Rollins being a pawn of the Authority, and they're the ones who will ultimately benefit from the Briefcase, and they don't care if Seth is collateral damage. Regardless, they play Ambrose's music after that, and Rollins emotes a very strong sense of annoyance and indignation.

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WHEN IT COMES CRASHING DOWN, AND IT HURTS INSIDE....

Rusev and Lana hit the ring, and declare their last opponent a failure, and predict that their next opponent will be, too. Because that's what Americans are good at: failure.

Putin this. Crush that. Who'll be the next great American failure?

Enter Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger.

Zeb says he's finally had enough. Lana and Rusev are free to spread their lies, because they have that freedom here in America. That's what makes us great. But now, he's going to exercise his own right to free speech, and declare that he knows exactly who Rusev will face next. And he won't fail.

Rusev's next opponent will be a Real American, Jack Swagger. The crowd goes nuts for this, joining in on a "WE, THE PEOPLE" and then a loud "Let's go, Swagger."

Lana appears to pull Rusev back, but it's a faux retreat... as soon as Swagger half turns away, Rusev charges. But Swagger was ready, and rattles off a pair of Steamboat style armdrags. Now, Rusev retreats for real, angry at having been shown up.

Swagger closes the segment by celebrating his newfound babyface status in front of an appreciative audience. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the lowest-common-denominator/borderline-racist approach to promoting Rusev, but if you're gonna do it, go all in, and give him an opponent whose patriotism is part of his schtick. Now, you're cheering FOR someone when you chant "USA," instead of just cheering AGAINST someone who isn't the same as you (which really is a pretty dated and ethnocentric way of doing things). So yay for WWE going all-in on the Real Americans, I guess.

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SHEAMUS & THE USOS vs. THE WYATT FAMILY

Full entrances for all the guys, though the Wyatts consolidate down into a single entrance (even though Harper and Rowan now have their own music). The Usos pick up where they left off last night, getting the better of Harper and Rowan. In fact, all of 90 seconds in, the dump Rowan out of the ring, where he collects himself, and the Usos celebrate.

I guess those full entrances took up too much time, because it's already time for some...

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Back, and Rowan's turned the tables, and is working over Ricky Uso. Focus seems to be on the neck. The Wyatts start with the frequent tags, and keep Uso on the defensive for about 3 minutes, until he manages to get seaparation on a corkscrew senton.

Hot tag to Sheamus. House o' fire, leading up to the Ten of Clubs on Rowan. Harper tries to get involved, but Sheamus just goes up top and takes them both out with a 7-10 Shoulder Block Spare. Rowan's legal, and Sheamus lines him up for the Brogue Kick.... but when Bray finally gets involved, his distraction works, and Sheamus is now our Face in re-Peril.

Ring gets cut in half again. Harper is especially impressive, especially with a big boot that almost out Brogue'd Sheamus Brogue Kick. When Wyatt gets in, he's got the whole crowd in his hands, if you get my drift. Harper in for more slobberknockering, but Sheamus hits a desperation Irish Curse, and is able to get the tag to Robert Uso.

He goes on a tear, and has a convincing near fall after a superkick. That causes Rowan to come in for a save, and it breaks down in Chinatown. Total Pier Sixer, and Harper finally ends up alone in the ring with the legal Uso, leveling him with a huge clothesline. Fin.

Your Winners: the Wyatt Family, via pinfall, in 12 minutes. Very good match. I approve of anything that sets up another Usos/Wyatts tag title match (given how good last night's match was), and this seems to have done that. It doesn't SEEM like they gave us enough to latch onto the idea of a Sheamus/Bray US Title feud, but that wouldn't be too hateful, either.

Backstage: the New Guy (Tom from NXT) is interviewing Nikki Bella about the little dust-up last night, where Nikki invited Brie as her guest to the PPV, which upset Stephanie. ANd speak of the devil, here's Steph, herself, ordering Nikki into a tag match against the FUnkadactyls. But oh, oh no, Nikki's sister is still fired, so I guess that makes it a handicap match. Awwww. Oh, and it's next....

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Backstage: a limo has arrived, and it contains a former WWE Champion and "crossover superstar." Like I said above, hope for whatever you want, but all signs point to Miz.

BOment of Silence: Bo Dallas hits the stage, and asks for 60 Seconds of Silence, to honor two brave men who are no longer able to compete... Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan. And seeing as how 60 seconds is quite a bit longer than a "moment," the crowd begins grumbling, and even a few spotty "BOner" chants break out.

On that note, Bo actually references his run in with Daniel Bryan last night, and shoots it to a video package where Bryan's two punchlines ("BOner" and "Bo, LEAVE") are served up to remind fans. Bo claims he took the "high road" last night, and we can all follow his example, if we just BOlieve.

NIKKI BELLA vs. THE FUNKADACTYLS

Cameron and Naomi are so obviously not long for the world, so I'm going to cherish every last Ass Voltron I can. Every one might be the last one.

Cameron starts the match, but doesn't exactly have a whole lot of success, so Naomi tags herself in. She almost instantly scores the pinfall after her version of the Big Show's Final Cut. Because Naomi is good at wrestling, and Cameron isn't.

Your WInners: the Funkadactyls, via pinfall, in 2 minutes flat. After the match, Cameron is not happy that Naomi stole her thunder, but they don't yet do the full implosion. One more Ass Voltron? Please?

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At Ringside: a bunch of Special Olympians are enjoying the show. Whoa. That retroactively makes Lana a SuperBitch for her spiel about America raising a generation of kids who don't get rewarded for winning, they get rewarded for participation. BOOO~! [Actually, I very much doubt that was intentional, and I'm probably the real asshole for mentioning it as my own interpretation.]

Announcement: Wade Barrett will be out of action for the foreseeable future, so he has been stripped of the InterContinental Title. A new IC Champ will be crowned in a Battle Royale, to be held at Battleground, in three weeks.

The First Hat in the Ring: Paul Heyman's schadenfreude is on full display, as he revels in Bad News' bad news. He says that one man's misfortunate is Cesaro's opportunity, and calls Cesaro the #1 Seed in the upcoming Battle Royale.

KOFI KINGSTON vs. CESARO (w/ Paul Heyman)

I reiterate my desire to get one of Cesaro's Battle Gown. Not only is it a massive upgrade from his windbreaker, but it easily tops Sandow's as the sharpest bathrobe ever. I have never been a Bathrobe Guy, but man alive, the Medical Unpleasantness caused me to become a HUGE fan... and why not look sharp while wallowing in your own crapulence?

Kofi is also in the Battle Royale, and will be going for his 5th IC Title, but as deserving as he might be, I think we all know he's in there to do one amazing stunt, not to win.

Cesaro feels the same way, delivering a solid beatdown, and then taunting the audience by setting up for The Swing, and then not doing it. BOOO~! Cesaro still dominating, and after chucking Kofi out of the ring, we break for...

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Back, and what the holy living hell?!? Kofi Kingston is celebrating a victory, which happened during the break.

Your WInner: Kofi Kingston, via we don't know, in we also don't know. OK, two things... using the WWE App like this will anger more people than it creates new WWE App users. There's a time and place for promoting your Second Screen, but adoption rates and the general mindset of the mainstream dictates that you NOT antagonize non-users. Fact: about twice as many viewers are using DVR to skip ads as are using the WWE App during ads. Until you fix the former problem, you are not allowed to implement the latter strategy.

After the Match: Cesaro is going berzerk, and destroys Kofi for daring to score the upset. Honestly, the beating is vicious, and seems to last longer than the match. It goes into the crowd, over the announce table, and ends with Cesaro as the clear-cut "winner," despite losing.

I actually applaud the general idea here, of making Kofi into way more of a compelling threat to win the IC Title, without robbing Cesaro of one ounce of his own credibility. But finishing a match during an ad break? Pretty bush league... whatever you gain in "Anything Can Happen!" is lost, ten-fold, to "Why did THAT Happen?"

Product Placement: Santino Marella is hanging out in the parking lot, with a backyard set-up that indicates he's throwing a BBQ, but nobody showed up. Santino sad. Then Adam Rose shows up, and it seems like this might be fun. But it's not. It's an extended advertisement for a flavored malt beverage that OO is too proud to name.

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POOR SANDOW, PART XXIV

"No Chance in Hell" fires up, and the crowd goes nuts for an appearance by the boss, here in WWE's "backyard"... but nope, it's Damien Sandow in a greasy grey wig, sending up Vince's various blatherings and calling himself "Vince McMandow."

"McMandow" declares himself a creative genius and maker of superstars, leading up to putting over one certain "Damien Sandow" as the greatest underappreciated star of all time. In fact, he's used his his position of power to enter Sandow in the IC Title Battle Royale. And if you're not down with that? YERRRRRRRR FIRRRRRRRRRED.

Stephanie pops up on the Tron, and takes umbrage at the impersonation. She says if Sandow wants to impersonate her beloved daddy, then he should defy odds and slay giants like Vince. So Sandow has a match, right now, against another entrant in the Battle Royale.

Oy, it's Khali.

VINCE McMANDOW vs. THE [redacted] KHALI

One judo chop, and it's done.

Your Winner: Khali, via pinfall, in 10 seconds. Poor Sandow. Poor, poor Sandow. Than again, it might be a good thing that Vince finally noticed what Sandow is doing... true story: it's widely known that Vince is so self-absorbed that he's a mark for anything that makes him seem like a bigger deal than he is, to the point that Ken Kennedy was so named when Paul Heyman pulled Ken Anderson aside, and suggested that Vince would totally push a guy whose last name was his middle name. And it worked. Maybe Vince will view this as a loving homage, and the sky's the limit for Sandow?

Backstage: that limo is still sitting. Now, the driver gets out, and opens the door. Who is the Mystery Champ? We'll find out, after these...

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MIZ GETS A FIRST HAND DEMONSTRATION OF "AWESOME"

So who's the returning champ? Yep, it's Miz. His entrance video has a new preface (the green "This Preview is Approved for All Audiences"), and he's decked out like a caricature of a Hollywood Douche. HE gets a "recognition pop," but the fans quickly latch on to the idea that he's kind of being a jerk about the whole "cross over multimedia megastar."

He claims Hollywood was begging him to stay, because he's just that awesome. But he came back, just to shove it in the faces of all the fans who've failed to recognize his greatness. He lays out a scenario where he will prove them wrong, win them over, and then, on the very day they hail his genius, he'll leave them and never come back. Cuz he's the Miz, and he's....

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!!

He's not the only crossover multimedia megastar in the building tonight. Cuz here's Chris Jericho, with a new blinky jacket. Which would normallly be a pretty silly bit of attire, but there's Miz, standing right there, wearing THAT.

Jericho soaks in the "WHY TWO JAY" chants, and even gooses the crowd into a second one when the first peters out. Miz makes fun of the "lite brite jacket," so Jericho removes it, revealing a more old school Lionheart-y vest. So Miz tears into that, and starts putting himself over as a Hollywood big wig and better than Jericho, and all that.

So Jericho just up and Codebreakers him. Miz go bye-bye now.

Jericho grabs the mic, says he's missed this, and is so happy to once again declare, "Welcome to RAW. IS. JE....."

Sheep Mask Freeze Frame. Holy shit, things just got awesome... lights go out, and when they come back on, Jericho is surrounded by the Wyatts. The crowd is on the same page as me, chanting "This is Awesome" as the Wyatts stalk. Then they strike.

Harper and Rowan do the heavy lifting, and kick the shit out of Jericho. Then Bray does the Crab Walk Taunt and hits a Sister Abigail. Guys are lining up for a chance to work with Bray, it seems. Jericho deemed it reasons enough to return, anyway, and that means a Winner is Us!

The potential of Bray vs. Jericho is pretty cool on its own, with special extra credit points for the "double reveal," where Miz's return was the worst kept open secret, but effectively masked the REAL surprise of Jericho's return. Segments like these are what makes pro wrestling one of my favorite things.

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. FANDANGO (w/ Layla)

You'd think the crowd might be spent after that last segment, but they are white-hot for Ziggler. It is, I think, where he won his World Title, so that could be why. Then again, if so, it's also the same building where "Fandango'ing" was invented.

Fandango comes out strong, and even pauses to smooch on Layla. As a result of this, Summer Rae shows up, and gets in the ring, and gives Dolph a half-hearted kiss meant to annoy Fandango. It works.

But it also makes Dolph quite happy in his pants region. So he pulls Summer in close, and lays a serious tonsil exam on Summer. And this time, Summer's enjoying it on its own merits, instead of just as a way to get under Fandango's skin. Which just gets even MORE under Fandango's skin.

He is appalled to see Summer so thoroughly pleasured by another man, and falls prey to a flash Fameasser. Done and done.

Your Winner: DOlph Ziggler, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. Lots of possibilities, both in terms of Dolph and Summer as a quality couple, and what you can do with "lovelorn Fandango" realizing he really DOES miss Summer, afterall. So yeah, nothing as a match, but I like the story aspect, and the 10 minute Workrate Spectcular can come later.

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TEAMDUST (Dust to Dust?) vs. RYBAXEL

A rematch from last night, where Goldust and Stardust had little trouble scoring the win. So Rybaxel are in angry revengening mode, jumpstarting the match before the bell. Immediately into the Face in Peril sequence, with Goldust taking the beatdown.

Two minutes in, Goldust avoids the Meathook, hot tag to Stardust. For the first time, I notice he's going out of his way to NOT use any Cody moves tonight (he's slightly modifying them, and even did a Disaster Clothesline, instead of a kick). Stardust gets the pin off an inverted Side Russian.

Your Winners: Stardust and Goldust, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. Since I'm sure you're dying to know, Axel was back to his old trunks, after testing out a Mr. Perfect singlet last night. [/vitallyimportantinfo]

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"PRIDE GOETH BEFORE THE FALL" THEATRE

The Women's Champ hits the ring, apparently to give us a State of the Division Address. Paige admits she's a woman of few words, but she thinks it's time to tell the naysayers to shut up. She's held the title for 3 months, now, and it's time everyone take her seriously.

Big pop for that.

But an even bigger pop when AJ's music hits, and she skips out to the ring. Wow, it's a night of surprises.

AJ says it pains her to say, but Paige is right, Paige is for real. AJ says she was the longest running women's champion ever, and it turned her into a monster. Paige supplied the "slap of reality," and AJ thanks her.

Paige thinks this is all quite fishy, and doesn't trust AJ. She thinks AJ is trying to goad her into a title match, but she won't fall for it. She's kind of a bitch about it, too, speaking for the entire crowd when she says "Nobody here ansto see me make that mistake."

Ummmm, bzzzzt. AJ says we should put it up to a vote. The crowd overwhelmingly votes "YES! YES! YES!" So Paige, reluctantly agrees. Ref Mike Chioda materializes, and we're on...

PAIGE vs. AJ (Women's Title Match)

Paige also plays up some heelishness, dominating AJ with headbutts to start. "Let's Go, Ay Jay" chants abound. And in less than a minute, AJ counters a submission move into a roll-up, and that's that.

Your Winner, and NEW Women's Champion: AJ, via pinfall, in 90 seconds. Not just a surprise return, but a surprise double turn, too, it seems. Fine by me, so long as we're finally building up to a match longer than 2 minutes between AJ and Paige, which should be outstanding.

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This Friday: United States Champion Sheamus is issuing a 4th of July Open Challenge. If they hadn't just set up Rusev vs. Swagger, I'd bet a body part on the US Title going to Russia. But they did. And so I won't.

JOHN CENA & ROMAN REIGNS vs. KANE & RANDY ORTON

Triple H comes on down to ringside, to get an up-close view of things, sitting in the same spot as last night. By the time everybody gets their entrances, the bell rings at 10:54pm (eastern), so my guess is we're treating this match as little more than a prelude to a closing angle...

We start with Cena vs. Orton -- and also with "Let's Go, Cena" vs. "Cena Sucks" chants -- and in both cases, it's back and forth and 50/50. But when Cena finally decides to tag in Reigns, it seems as though the crowd is unanimous in their support.

Also: Randall doesn't want any of that happy crappy, so he tags in Kane, and seeks the safety of the apron, drawing big boos. Reigns overpowers Kane in their first tie-up, and sends THE DEMON flying out over the top rope. The heels decide to regoup, so the production truck decides we should watch some...

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Back, and the bad guys have taken over, and glory of glories, Randall is working the increasingly-requisite post-commercial Ortonlock. He is the master!

But pretty quickly, Reigns is able to power out, and Orton decides to play it safe, and tags in Kane. Kane continues the onslaught, to the point that Orton feels safe tagging back in. And there's another chinlock. And there's Reigns powering out again... and this time, he doesn't give Orton enough time to tag out, he just bounces off the ropes and cuts Orton in half with a spear.

But Kane's right there to put his two cents in, and while he also eats a spear (into the ringside barricade, no less), the distraction allows Orton to come back and hit a clothesline. After the doubleteam, Reigns is in trouble, again.

Leads up to Kane attempting a chokeslam, but Reigns goes behind and hits THE BIG RED DEMON with a Samoan Drop. Hot tag to Cena. Corresponding move to Orton. Five Moves of Doom, ending with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. But when Cena goes for the F-U, Orton rakes the eyes, and runs to his corner for a tag.

Kane comes in, and gets a few Moves of Doom of his own, but Orton interrupts them by sneaking up behind Cena, and hitting an RKO. Reigns in, and hits a Superman Punch on THE DEMON KANE. With Cena and Kane both down, Reigns and Orton engage in fisticuffs, and brawl all the way up the ramp, disappearing into the back.

Cena and Kane slowly get up to their feet, and Kane goes straight for his bread and butter: the steel ring step. He slams them into Cena's face, and the ref calls for the bell.

Your Winners: John Cena and Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in 10 minutes. Very basic in terms of the action, but like I said, it was all here to set up a big finish....

After the Match: Kane continues the beatdown, ending with a Tombstone. Refs and trainers swarm to tend to Cena, but HHH has a look in his eyes, as he looks over Cena's limp carcass. Sure enough....

Seth Rollins' music hits, and he's in a cashing-in mood. But the refs stall, since there's usually a rule about not ringing the bell until the champ is on his feet... HHH and Rollins are begging for the bell, but...

AMBROSE ALERT~! Dean Ambrose attacks, and immediately brawls into the crowd with Rollins, disappearing to the back. Nobody's cashing anything in as long as Dean Ambrose draws breath! Meantime, HHH berates the ref who didn't ring the bell, and grabs the Briefcase to indicate that this was NOT a cash-in, and Rollins still has the MitB Contract.

HHH and Kane decide to take out there frustrations by beating on Cena some more. But here's Roman Reigns to disabuse them of that idea. Reigns uses a chair to fend off Kane, and then has a Staredown of Death with Triple H, who is clearly not getting the results he wants, with regards to Reigns.

He'll probably decide to take care of it himself, at SummerSlam, but for now, the fans are digging the tension, and chant "This is Awesome" as the show fades to black...

And so ends the show. You can't do that every week. But as special treat, man alive was that fun...

Only the six-man stands out as a particularly good wrestling match, and even then, it falls short of "youtube-worthy" status.

But c'mon: Miz as a red herring, keeping us off the scent of Jericho's return, AND Jericho vs. Wyatt coming out of it? Awesome. AJ's return, a double turn, and title change? Pretty cool. Ambrose and Rollins continuing their full-speed reckless double-break-out, with a feigned cash-in and the resulting Ambrose Alert? Sweet. Jack Swagger finally becoming a REAL Real American? Neato.

Sure, the news about Barrett wasn't so good, but WWE made lemonade out of those lemons, and did a WAY better job than I'd have guessed promoting the Battle Royale, by making it the focus of almost the entire middle third of the show. The goofy move of ending a match during an ad break was definitely stupid, but at the end of the day, it only counts as an annoyance, and not a dealbreaker.

Even little throw-away/underneath bits, like Vince McMandow and Ziggler/Summer seemed to hit the right notes, and were quite enjoyable.

Four weeks out of five, I'm usually wishing I had some DVR time shift, so I could FF. This was a week, an all-too-rare one, where I used the Rewind Button a couple times, instead, because I really dug what just happened. That's as clear an illustration I can provide in terms of just what kind of a show we're dealing with this week.

An easy A grade, and a show that all of a sudden has me convinced that SummerSlam just might be something special this year (and before that Battleground probably won't suck, either). WWE's been in a state of constant change, out of necessity, in the last month or two... but after some spazzy decisions (some of which paid off in spades, like breaking up the Shield with about 24 hours notice), this feels like the night when the company finally got its legs back underneath it, and executed a plan that had some forethought behind it.

Good times, good times....

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.