OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
A Go-Home Show That Does Its Job
October 22,, 2014

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Sorry this is a day late reaching you. As noted last Monday, I had a little trip to Texas to deal with, and wound up extending it by an extra day.

On that note, I have to issue a massive correction from last week: I did NOT visit my brother in Dallas. I visited him in Fort Worth. I was unaware that the denizens of the two sister cities had as much civic pride (and as much hatred for the others) as they do, but... well, now I do know, and I won't make that mistake again. FWIW, after a week of observations, I definitely think my brother is on the right side of the debate.

How did I spend my time there? Well, you folks were no help. I asked for ideas, and all I got were tips for restaurants and strip clubs. My brother actually already had great ideas for food, ahead of time, and did you not read the part where I said I was going to visit WITH OUR MOM? That was kinda the whole purpose of the trip: Alan just bought his first house, and my mom wanted to go visit to approve/disapprove.

I only got roped in because my mom also wanted to unload a bunch of stuff that she's been keeping at her house for the past decade (as my brother just moved from apartment to apartment), and somebody had to drive the big-ass rental truck. That somebody was me.

It was a good time, though. The Cow Parade was everybit as lame as I thought it would be, but the State Fair made up for it. And when it came time for me to request an activity, first I got a little mini-JFK-tour. And then we spent an afternoon taking the Ebola Tour of Dallas, because I'm morbid that way. My brother's media connections were a help, too, and we even got a backstage look at Presbyterian Hospital, where there was the "media pen" (where every cable news channel was set up, and where you get that iconic shot of the hospital's neon name on the top of the building). Also, we got to spy the whole hazmat operation in its own, other cordoned off area.

To date, I'm symptom free and glad we did it, but don't let my scientific literacy stop YOU from freaking out over a disease you have a 0.0000000000001% chance of ever getting!

On that note, here's what I observed on RAW when I got home (for the first time in a while, watching a day late meant I actually got to enjoy the DVR time shift; perhaps that'll help me enjoy the show more than I normally would have?)... we ride:

Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: OO does not recap recaps.

A REASON TO CARE ABOUT CENA/ORTON PART 3712?

And then we slam cut to the inside of Whateveritscalled Arena in Kansas City, MO. Cole wastes no time making a World Series/Royals reference, and I gotta admit that I approve... as outlined a few weeks ago, the Royals are a real hard team to not love. They play exciting baseball, and they're just plain fresh and underdoggy.

Also of note: it's Lilian Garcia who introduces the Manthority (Triple H, Kane, Rollins, and Orton)... Justin Roberts got fired last Monday, likely as a cost-cutting move (tenure hath its opposite-of-privileges). If it means more Lilian, then, uhhhh, sorry, Justin; I'm sure you and your superfluous inclusion of "Y" sounds in everybody's names ("Juyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaan Cena") will be missed by many, but I think OO will manage to survive the Extra Lilian.

Anyway, the Manthority gets to the ring, and HHH quarterbacks the segment... the major takeaway is that HHH has booked a main event for tonight, and it's a 3-on-2 handicap Street Fight (anything goes), with Rollins/Orton/Kane taking on Ambrose/Cena.

But then the talk turns to Sunday's HitC 999PV.... Rollins goes first, and talks some trash about Dean Ambrose, but along the way, he calls his HitC Match against Ambrose "the main event."

Oh noes you don't! Randall doesn't like that. He thinks his HitC match against Cena is the main event. Things start to get heated between the two, but HHH defuses it by insisting it's a "double main event," and while Rollins vs. Ambrose is more personal, he wants to make Orton vs. Cena special, too...

So now, Orton vs. Cena is a #1 Contenders match. The winner gets Brock Lesnar (presumably at Survivor Series, despite the mind-bending rumors to the contrary, where Brock doesn't wrestle again till Royal Rumble). OK, that's a nice value-add...

Orton grabs the mic and approves of the change, saying that he'll take advantage of the opportunity by beating Cena and winning the WWE Title, unlike those pathetic Royals, who haven't won a title in 29 years, and won't win one for another 29. BOOOOOOOOO~! [Remember, Orton's from St. Louis,which is the geographic rival of the Royals, and the Hated Tardinals played the Royals in the World Series way back before I can remember specifically what year it was. Maybe 85? I think the Mets/Red Sox was '86, so it's not that....]

Anyway, Orton's cheap heat is the main outro for the segment... HHH tags it with a reminder about the 3-on-2 street fight, and then Kane lights the corner pyro, because he didn't do anything else for that entire 15 minutes.

I'll take it. A nice "table setting" opening segment, which sets up the rest of RAW while upselling us on the 999PV.

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SHEAMUS & THE USOS vs. MIZ & THE DUST BROTHERS (w/ Damien Mizdow)

A rematch from Friday's SD, where these six had a very fine match (Sheamus pinned Goldust, so although it was a good match, they crossed the streams on the finish, so it didn't really prove anything in terms of the two distinct feuds)....

Oh, wait.... after ring intros, Miz makes a big fat hairy deal about leaving his shades on. And then he drops off the apron, and goes up to Sandow. He tells Sandow to stand in for him in this match, so change that to....

SHEAMUS & THE USOS vs. DAMIEN MIZDOW & THE DUST BROTHERS (w/ Miz)

Miz goes over and sits in on guest commentary, while the crowd actually pops pretty good for Sandow's involvement. But that dies off when he opts not to start. It's Goldust vs. and Uso. The two go back and forth for about 30 seconds, with the Uso getting tossed out over the top rope.

Break in the action means we break for...

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Back, and Goldust is working over Ricky Uso. Quick tag to Stardust for another bit of beatdown, and then finally Mizdow tags in. Nice pop for the tag, but an even bigger one when Mizdow mirrors Miz's backbreaker/neckbreaker combo.

But then Stardust is tagged back in to silence (SILENCE~!) the crowd, and the heel beatdown continues. Frequent tags between the Dust Boyz for a bit. Then Ricky Uso hits an enzuirgiri to get separation, and makes the hot tag to Sheamus.

Corresponding move the Mizdow, and it breaks down in Chinatown. The Pier Sixer ends with Stardust hitting an outside-the-ring-Asai-moonsault onto the scrum, leaving Sheamus and Sandow in the ring. Miz gets the better of it, but makes a big ordeal out of setting up for the Brogue Kick.... and as a result, Stardust climbs back into the ring and distracts Sheamus.

So Sheamus hits him with the Brogue, and then Sandow immediately hooks him with a flash roll-up.... HOLY SHIT, SANDOW JUST PINNED SHEAMUS~!

Your Winner: Damien Sandow and the Dust Brothers, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. A little time compressed (especially the pre-break part), but it still got to where it needed to go, with a hot end game and the surprise finish. Then again, I might be biased, as OO loves it some Sandow.

Of note: on commentary, Miz shouted "I WIN~!" after Sandow got the pin, and then celebrated with him in a vaguely patronizing way. I'm 100% all-in on using this to springboard Sandow's singles career.... but I'm also NOT ready to pull that trigger yet. The team act is working so well, so I ride that horse for a bit, and don't do the split till later (I think teasing tension, but doing the split at the Rumble -- "Every Man For Himself" -- is how I'd time it out).

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Backstage: HHH is hanging out in his office, and Randy Orton walks in. He is very polite and respectful, saying that he's very grateful for HHH's decree earlier... and Randall promises that he'll "make HHH proud" by beating Cena and then bringing the WWE Title back home by beating Lesnar.

But HHH pauses and has to admit, "Uhhhh, Randall, this wasn't my idea. It was Seth." Orton suddenly doesn't know what to think. He is an easily-confused dunce that way. But he decides that it's probably not on the up-and-up, and says he's gonna go "thank" Seth personally. Then he stalks off.

Sheep Mask Freeze Frame: a replay of last Monday's "you are special, you are not alone" vignette, which suggests that Bray has cut Harper/Rowan loose, but that something else is "coming."

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AJ LEE vs. ALICIA FOX (w/ Paige) (Non-Title)

A follow-up on the "Alicia is Paige's new BFF, but AJ has no friends" story. Out of the gate, they time compress things by going straight to the heel beatdown in favor of Alicia. Kansas City responds, "LETS GO ROY YALLS." I can't blame them. If nothing else, it's better than the other Wanker Cities that chant "SEE EMM PUNK" at AJ.

Alicia finally gloats and wastes too much time, so AJ stages her comeback. With AJ on a tear, Alicia decides to powder out of the ring. This makes Paige very angry, and Paige yells at Alicia to get back in the ring and fight, goddammit.

Alicia says "No, wait, I need a breater." So Paige just punches her and throws her back into the ring. Paige sees the whole thing.

So instead of taking advantage of Alicia, AJ goes over to yells down at Paige. All of a sudden, Alicia grabs some cut-offs and gets a cheap roll-up.

Your Winner: Alicia Fox, via pinfall, in 5 minutes. Not bad, actually. It felt like it had some time to breathe, after starting with a sense of time rcompression. And the finish was NOT something I saw coming. Then again, the way Alicia sold it, maybe SHE didn't see it coming, either. And that makes things even MORE interesting if you contemplate the likelihood that Paige is just playing her, and actually meant to screw Alicia at first, and only claimed 'victory" by accident. Not un-intriguing.

Backstage: Orton finds Rollins, and thanks him, albeit suspiciously. Finally Randall loses all ability for subtlety and just blurts out, "So, uhhhh, why you make me favor?" And Rollins cops to the truth: he says he kinda hopes Orton can beat Cena ("against all odds") and then ("somehow, I don't know how, but maybe you can do it") beat Lesnar for the WWE Title... because then.... and he holds up the MitB Briefcase.

Heh. THIS is a nice bit of logic from Seth, something that was sadly lacking at the end of NoC.... this is Seth admitting "I no wanty Brock, but I know I can beat you, Randy," and it's pitch perfect. Orton played the response well, too; he got Seth's implication, but didn't want to rock the boat just yet.

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PAUL HEYMAN MAKES THINGS BETTER

The "Theme from Lowering-the Cage" plays, and the Cell starts to lower... then Orton's music hits, and he comes down to the ring before the Cell comes all the way down.

Actually, the Cell just sort of hangs there, suspended about 8 feet off the ground, as Orton starts talking. That's.... awkward

Orton grabs a mic, and takes us on a trip down memory lane, by way of remind us of how goddamned many times he's fought John Cena before. He tries to sell it as epic, but KC only buys it as "boring." Because it's a pretty crappy feud with few video-keeper matches.

Out of spite, they just chant "Let's Go Royals" at him again, and it actually rattles Randall something wicked. He completely loses his train of thought and stops talking. [Hey, there's nobody else in the ring with him, so he can't stop to ask "What's My Line?"] But instead of panicking too badly, he hears the chant and shit-talks the Royals again for the cheap pop.

Then he gets back on track, and tries talking trash to Cena and a bit towards Lesnar, and finally Cena's music hits, and he comes out.... he hits the ring, grabs a mic, and says, "Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up."

He waits out the mixed reaction, and then finishes his thought, "Shut up, man. You're a gifted athlete, but seriously, every time you open your mouth, you remind everybody you're the dumbest man alive."

I love shoot comments that weren't meant to be shoot comments.

But Cena saves it by trying to make Orton's "stupidity" about his lack of memory when it comes to their decade-long feud. He also gets a cheap pop out of KC by saying, "Allow me to give YOU a history lesson. The Kansas City Royals could very easily be the next World Series Champions.... now maybe that shit you were talking would have flown in 2002. But this is a new day and a new Royals team. And it's funny, cuz 2002 is also the last time you were relevant." HUGE POP~!

But then Cena gets serious, and talks about his desire to face Brock Lesnar again. He feels like he had Lesnar on the ropes at NoC, and he knows he can win, and yadda yadda yadda, Orton is not the man who will stop him from getting another chance...

But all of a sudden, Paul Heyman strolls out on stage and cuts off Cena, mid-sentence, and reminds us that if we're talking about 2002, then the "Class of 2002" DID include Cena and Orton making their WWE debut debuts.... but the breakout star of that Class was His Client, BROCK LESNAR.

Heyman makes his way towards the ring, pausing to gaze up at the Cell (still hanging about 8 feet off the ground), before saying "Sunday will be fun, because you two are equals. I don't know who will win, but I'll love watching. But you two are equals, and Brock Lesnar is BOTH of your superiors." He offers a polite word of warning to Orton, then a more spiteful word to Cena.

Cena responds by hoisting Heyman up for an F-U... but Heyman pulls his "I'm just an advocate and a father" shouty act, and Cena puts him down out of kindness.

RKO Out of Nowhere for Cena.

Heyman actually tries to thank Orton, and Orton pretends to take it.

Then RKO Out of Nowhere for Heyman.

Like I said last week, I wouldn't be too surprised if this is building to an Orton face turn. And that might not be the worst idea, given the recent re-emergence of his worth lethargic habits from pre-2011.

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BIG E vs. RUSEV (w/ Lana)

So, yeah, this was a feud that spanned multiple PPVs earlier this year. But we're all adults here, so let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your Winner: Rusev, via submssion, in 8 minutes. Way longer than I'd have guessed, but that's not necessarily a compliment (I like more in-ring, but I like it where it's credible/plausible)... in the end, though, it did serve to remind that Rusev is a monster, and it let Lana cut a post-match promo about Rusev beating Big Show at HitC on Sunday.

Then, when she called for the Russian Flag to unfurl, it misfired, and Big Show appeared on the screen to smile, knowingly. Suddenly, the American Flag unfurled, instead, and they hit the Souza.

Rusev was angry. He set up to yank the flag down (as Show did to the Russian Flag 2 weeks ago), but a dude in desert camo ran into the ring from the audience to stop him. Rusev immediately put the boots to him.

Well, not boots. Bare feet. But you get the idea.

Then the New Stooges and some refs showed up and restrained Rusev, while trainers checked on the dude. The cameras lingered on the dude, so I think you can safely assume he's the new Sgt. Slaughter/Cpl. Kirshner. I didn't get a good loook, but I'll have the name/ID from the NXT roster by next Monday.

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BIG SHOW: MASTER THESPIAN

Apparently, Big Show hit the ring during the break, and has been waiting. Now that we're back, he speaks.

And long story short: he massively overplays the hand on the "brave serviceman" gambit. For one, if you're smarter than a fern, you know that was a plant. For two, "serviceman" or not, he's a douche who ran into the ring from the audience (not even "invited," like back in the day with Earthquake), so you're telling a shitty story on that front.

Show gets REALLY angry and shouty, saying this is the last straw, and now he's really gonna beat on Rusev on Sunday. ACTING~! GENIUS~!

You know what? I just had the idea that might save this silly "it would have worked back when I was in junior high"/80s story... the "serviceman" needs to go all Nicolas Brody on Sunday, siding with Rusev after brainwashing. Rusev really only DID get one shot in on him, so it's not unreasonable that it was a set-up.

Plus, if you do that, then you can do Rusev/Brody vs. Show/Henry as a short term deal.

Just a thought....

Meantime, Show picks the mic back up and says he's not waiting for Sunday, he's going to look for Rusev right now...

Backstage: Dean Ambrose is watching the new Leprachaun movie, and Cena walks in on him. Ambrose says he's just relaxing with Movie Night before getting crazy ni their match. Cena questions Dean's ritual, and somehow turns it into a cartoon-movie rant in which he (Cena) maybe a good Superman, but Ambrose is NOT Batman. He's more the Joker.

Which is funny enough, because it's true. But just in case you weren't on board, Dean waits until Cena leaves and then deadpans, "Why so serious?" Nice.

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BRIE BELLA vs. SUMMER RAE

Nothing much to see here. Brie has the "Loser Must Be the Winner's Bitch for 30 Days" Match against Nikki coming up on Sunday. Summer has nothing going. You figure it out.

Your Winner: Brie, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. Yeah, a bit longer and more involved than matches have tended to be lately. But also, it's time spent on shit nobody cares about.. Well, maybe you do. But OO doesn't. And OO's flowchart indicates that FIRST you craft issues people care about, and THEN you invest TV time into them. It doesn't work in reverse.

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FOLEY IS GOOD

To kick off the third and final hour of the show, Dean Ambrose hits the ring with a giant bag o' gear. It's almost bodybag size, but it's not holding a body.

Also, the Cell once again lowers 80% of the way to the ring, and hangs 10 feet above the ring.

Ambrose says he's been dreaming about this match for a while now, and he can't wait for Sunday. In fact, he wants to show us a few of his fantasies.

So he goes into the gear bag, and he pulls out a mannequin, dressed up like Seth Rollins. I TOLD YOU it was bodybag sized~!

Ambrose props the mannequin up, and starts threatening it... then, he makes good, ripping off two of the hands, and then slapping the mannequin with its own hands. Then he says "You know what I do to people who screw me? I screw them back harder."

Enter a screwdriver.

"But you're no dummy...." haha. Then a few hammer and testicle-claw related comments, and finally Ambrose just piledrives the dummy. Gotta be honest: pretty much none of that was funny, and the live crowd seemed to agree.

After the piledriver, Rollins hits the stage (with the New Stooges),and suggests that Ambrose has finally found an opponent at his own level, and he should enjoy it. Because after HitC, Ambrose will have to find a new job. After tonight's display, Rollins suggests that Ambrose should follow in the shoes of Carrottop and Gallagher.

But then Rollins gets serious, and says that he "sold out," but only because he had a bigger goal for himself than to be some hick loser from the midwest like all these idiots in the crowd. He knew he was destined for greatness, and when the opportunity presented itself, he took it, and on Sunday....

TIRE SQUEAL/CRASH... HOLY SHIT, IT'S MICK FOLEY~!

Yes, THAT Mick Foley, the one who's on the outs with WWE and would never come back, ever. He hits the ring at full speed (congrats on the at-least partially successful back surgery, Mick!) and grabs a mic.

He says, jokingly, that he just stopped by to say "Hi" to an old friend (he gestures Broadly that it's the Cell). He also gets in a cheap pop for his viewing habits (he watches RAW, and Smackdown, and the Network for an "undisclosed monthly fee," tee hee). But then he reveals he has a prediction for Sunday's match...

"In almost any scenario, I can't see Dean Ambrose getting a victory over Seth Rollins."

Rollins pounces, and gives a patronizing "Thanks, grampa" speech to Mick... but Mick cuts him off. "You weren't listening. I said in ALMOST ANY SCENARIO. But Hell in a Cell is a bit of a speciality of mine. And I think Dean Ambrose has made his intentions clear, and I think this is his arena to beat your ass."

Ambrose thanks Foley in a back-handed fashion: "I'm glad I have your endorsement, but this has nothing to do with you. But I know where you came from, and I think you know where I'm coming from.... so look in my eyes and tell me I'm not ready for the Cell."

Rollins cuts in, and says it doesn't matter about guts or balls or any of that. The only thing that matters is smarts, and Seth has that in spades over BOTH of those two circus clowns.

Mick decides to put the capper on things, giving a great monologue about how he can see either guy winning on Sunday, but he also knows NEITHER guy knows what awaits him AFTER the match. Mick says that when he looks back on his career, there are two phases: Pre-Cell, and Post-Cell. And while he made a lot of money Post-Cell, it was the most punishing part of his career. It's a career changer. It's once in a lifetime (and he parlays that into a cheap pop for KC/Royals), and he can't wait to see which one of them has a Nice Day.

Play Foley's music, because he's awesome at making things even more awesome. [He even got a "Thank You, Foley" chant, just for showing up and talking. I honestly think I'd have joined in on it. Not because he was doing anything that mind-blowing, but just because the WWE is better with him in it, and he doesn't always want to be in it. But he showed up, and made it better tonight, anyway.]

Then, after Mick was gone, Ambrose tried a sneaky Pearl Harbor attack with a chair, but Rollins just barely avoided it. STAY TUNED BECAUSE THESE TWO ARE STILL INVOLVED IN TONIGHT'S 5-MAN MAIN EVENT~!

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. CESARO (Non-Title)

Super-slick back and forth opening sequence... just feeling-out-y stuff (lock ups, headlocks, etc), but smooth and crisp. Despite the internet's love affair with Cesaro, the internet AND the heartland love Dolph, so chants for him dominate the earlier going.

Dolph loses the chainwrestling, but regains the advantage with flash and high energy, chucking Cesaro over the top rope, and dominating him on the outside of the ring.

But then it turns into a variation on the cat-and-mouse role reversal spot, in which Cesaro catches Dolph off-balance and turns it into a big-ol' Elevation Uppercut. Ziggler in a puddle, Cesaro gloating, so we break for...

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Back,and Cesaro still in control, hitting a big press-slam gutbuster for a two, and then doing a middle-rope-walk axe-handle for another two. Nifty stuff.

Cobra Clutch/sleeper by Cesaro spells the end of his heel beatdown. Ziggler powers up out of that, and follows up with a dropkick. Rapidfire hooking clothelines, Stinger Splash, big elbow.

But then an attempted Fameasser backfires. Cesaro goes for a Neutralizer, but Ziggler flips through and turns it into a Facebuster. Or, as CRZ would have said, "YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN."

Awesome rapidfire quadruple-reversey bit ends with Ziggler whiffing on a superkick and then Cesaro hits a wicked uppercut. Quick high-leverage cover, and Cesaro gets the three.

Your Winner: Cesaro, via pinfall, in 10 minutes. Very solid match, but with the subtext that there's another place to go, once the title is on the line. WHich it will be at the PPV, because Cesaro just pinned the champ. I will take that, and like it.

After the Match: as if we didn't get the point, Cesaro hoists Ziggler's carcass up and hits a Neutralizer, because he can. TITLE MATCH FORTHCOMING~!

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JOHN CENA/DEAN AMBROSE vs. SETH ROLLINS/KANE/RANDY ORTON (Street Fight)

Everybody got their own entrances, but unlike the past few weeks, we ring that bell at 10:49 (eastern), which means this match will actually be a match. PRAISE JEBUS, A MAIN EVENT THAT WON'T SUCK~!

It breaks down right away, which is as it should be for a Street Fight, but the ref (inexplicably) tries to restore order to a standard 1-on-1/you-must-tag match. WHich he does, and the guys go with it. Remember this as the match progresses.

After a few permutations, it comes down to Ambrose and Rollins being legal... and Ambrose gets the better of it. The crowd fires up a "WE WANT TABE ELLS" chant, and Ambrose decides to humor them by looking under the ring until he fnally finds one.

But once he does, Kane finds him, and slams his head into the edge of the table. Kane retreats to his own corner, and the unwitting ref starts counting on Ambrose. WIll he make it back into the ring? We'll find out after these final...

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Back, and Ambrose did make it back into the ring, so we continue... in fact, Rollins has deigned to rejoin the fight, and is working a face-claw on Ambrose. ROllins pounds away for a couple minutes, then decides it's someone else's turn.

Rollins tags Orton, and Orton only gets in, grudgingly. Orton does about 17 seconds of work, then re-tags ROllins. Rollins decides to show-off a bit His hubris is almost his undoing, but since he has Ambrose trapped in his corner, his pals help him keep the advantage.

Re-tag to Orton. Garvin Stomp. Ambrose kicks out easily at 2. More Orton offense, and then Orton charges the corner. Ambrose gets a boot up. Orton reels. Ambrose off the tope rope with a missile dropkick

Ambrose makes the hot tag to Cena. Orton makes the corresponding move to Rollins.

Cena dominates Rollins, and that gives Cena a chance to go set up a table in the middle of the ring. He's fixing to F-U Rollins into the table, but Kane throws a steel chair at him, and breaks it up.

Talbe is moved into a corner, but just as quickly, the match spills outside the ring. The heels get the better of it, and when it goes back into the ring, Kane and Cena are legal, and Kane throws Cena into the Turnbuckle Table. It crumples.

But this is NOT a tables match, so you MUST get a pinfall/submission.

Cena gets a hope spot and crawls towards his corner... and Kane cuts him off. Cena back to the middle of the ring. ANd Kane calls for.... well, he calls for SOMEthing.

Ahhhh, I see: he was calling for the Cell to be lowered. ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR.

Dean Ambrose has been outside the ring in a heap, but spots this development, and dives in under the Cell at the last second.

Meantime, Kane has tagged out to Rollins, but it hardly matters, as Ambrose is a house o' fire... he goes after all three guys, and takes 'em all out with a triple cross body. Then he finds a kendo stick and goes to town.

Kane and Rollins actually powder out, leaving Ambrose to focus on Orton (not the legal man) inside the ring. He finds a chair and hits Orton with an Arabian Facebuster. Then he swings away to fend off Kane. Then he backdrops Rollins out of the ring, and hits a flying goat dive, driving Rollins into the cell wall.

But in so doing, Ambrose dazes himself, and Orton pearl harbors him, and tosses him back into the ring. Orton "coils," but before he can hit the RKO, Cena makes it back into the fight, for the save. But Kane jumps in and chokeslams Cena. Dirty Deeds (it's once again the double-arm DDT that Cole calls "Dirty Deeds," not the original facebuster-y one) to Kane.

Then, Orton swoops in and hits an RKO out of Nowhere (it's his move, according to Vine). He makes the pin, and the ref counts it. I remind you, Orton was not the legal man, which I wouldn't normally care about, as this was announced as a Street Fight... but then, as soon as the bell rang, the ref insisted on order and legal tags and everything, and the entire match was contested that way. Until the end, when he apparently decided it didn't matter.

My guess is 80% of the audience didn't notice or care. But I did, and I think it's insanely stupid that they couldn't have made the very easy fix (either the whole match is tornado rules, or you find some way to get Orton legal at the very end). Oh well.

Your Winners: Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, and Kane, via pinfall, in 15 minutes or so. Inexcusible continuity error aside, this was still RAW's best main event in about a month... not epic, or even youtube-worthy, but it at least provided the viewer with a sense that they'd just invested their 3 hours wisely. Solid action, adequate sizzle.

After the Match: no sooner did Orton start getting up to celebrate his victory than Seth Rollins attack. With Orton still on hands and knees, Rollins curb stomped him into the mat. Given the trainwrecky End Game, that means Rollins is standing alone to end the show.

To drive this point home, Rollins leaves the Cell, and then climbs on top. Standing on top of the structure, Rollins celebrates as his music plays and we fade to black...

And so ends the show. Not a really bad one, either. Certainly some low points, but outside of the Rusev/Show stuff (which was a textbook example of he-goat-milking, and material that should have been left in the 80s), even the segments with low points managed to rally in the end.

I mean: (1) Orton with a live mic was about as eyeball-roll-inducing as it gets, and Cena only partially helped matters, but then here comes Heyman to make it all good with his stance on the Class of 2002. Or (2) Ambrose flopped with the mannequin, and Rollins brought nothing to the table, but then Foley shows up and adds some zazz.

The in-ring action got plenty of time (even if it might have been TOO MUCH time in the case of Rusev/Big E or Brie/Summer), so that was a welcome change of pace, too. I think you can honestly say that the opening six-man, Cesaro/Ziggler, and the main event were -- all of them -- better than anything RAW's served up in the last month or so. Not just the athleticism, but with some nice storyline twists, to boot, like Sandow pinning Sheamus, and Cesaro beating Ziggler (which now sets up a 2-out-of-3 Falls match at Sunday's PPV, which ought to rule the multiverse).

I also didn't notice too much in the way of suck-ass filler/"moments ago" crap, but remember: I did watch this a day later, with the benefit of FF, so I may be off on that assessment. Regardless, it all seemed to add up to a show that did more than I would have guessed to boost interest in Hell in a Cell on Sunday.

Foley made Ambrose/Rollins sound like a career changer. The "#1 Contender" stip for Cena/Orton is an upgrade, too, with Heyman helping to provide a reason to care about shit we've seen a billion times before (also: I LOVED the reveal that Rollins came up with the stip, because he wants no part of Brock, but is confident he can beat Orton). And as just mentioned: what's not to love about the prospects of Ziggler/Cesaro in a Best of 3 Falls Match?

The absence of any real must-see signature moments keeps the overall rating down, but this was still a very solidly constructed "go-home" show that served its purpose -- selling the PPV -- while still having just enough good stuff to be an end, in and off itself.

FOr me, that adds up to a final grade of B.

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.