OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Cena vs. Rollins are Top Shelf Again
October 27, 2014

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Right off the bat, I guess you can forget my preRamble from last night's Hell in a Cell PPV Recap... about 8 hours after I posted my request for any clues as to the whereabouts of the creator of a Coach K Basketball ROM Editor, the creator himself (tjans) emailed me.

Marvel at the power of OO! I may be reduced to the fringes of internet wrestling news because I refuse to go all tweety and social like every other clickfarm dirtsheet site, but OO's significance is still not unmighty!

Unfortunately, the news wasn't good, and he reported that he never really got a to-his-liking version of the ROM Editor worked out, which is why there are no more live links to it. Ah well... it would have been nice to create a playable version of the 2014 Elite Eight Dayton Flyers in the game, but I think I'll survive.

In the meantime, my only wish is that I could somehow exert my mighty powers over Yahoo, which is getting increasingly bad about populating my newsfeed. I mean, it's called MYyahoo.com, and *I* am the one who chooses which modules to install, and they (allegedly) use my click history to deduce my interests and hobbies... and yet, in recent months, it seems the "News For You" section has a different horseshit UFO or conspiracy theory story, always from examiner.com, which is from what I can tell, a haven for the mentally enfeebled.

Granted, I have an interest in "weird shit," but it's always from the critical-thinking/skeptic slant, and here yahoo is, serving up nonsense that -- even on a cursory glance -- can't be anything other than hoaxes or pure fiction. Make it stop!

Please, I'm beggin' ya.

And yes, I hear you, OO Nation, and you're begging me to wrap it up and get down to business. So here's what happened on tonight's just-completed edition of RAW:

Video Package for the Benefit of Those Too Cheap to Pony Up Nine Ninety Nine a Month: stuff happened last night. OO does not recap recaps.

RANDY ORTON, DOING THINGS AT NORMAL FULL HUMAN SPEED~!

And we're live in San Antonio, TX, where Motorhead is playing, but the Authority are already in the ring. Stephanie talks first, and talks about how awesome Hell in a Cell was, especially at the low, low price of... well, you get the picture.

Then Triple H talks and makes a fairly dickish comment about it being a bit of an up and down night, what with Randy Orton disappointing everyone again. But then he made a big fat hairy deal out of Seth Rollins living up to all expectations and winning his Cell match.

So here comes Seth, after that huge introduction, to massive boos. Also, he's accompanied by the New Stooges, Noble and Mercury.

Seth's first line, "Finally, that lunatic Dean Ambrose is out of my hair." I suspect that's a bit of wishful thinking, Seth. Ambrose may be distracted by Bray Wyatt for a bit, but methinks he'll remember the score (he hasn't beaten Rollins a single time in a TV match).

But then he reveals that he's got a match later tonight against the man who beat Randy Orton, and he's going to do what Randy couldn't... he's going to beat John Cena, and leave him just like he left Dean Ambrose: unconscious in a puddle of his own failure.

Short and to the point. But it seems Randy Orton wants to retort. He hits the ring, and this is a new Randall... instead of speaking ooohhhhhhh ssssssooooooo sssllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwlllyy and mangling the English language, he's ranting at Warp 7 in one giant run-on sentence that is devoid of any valid logical or grammatical structure, but which places the likelihood of extreme cocaine toxicity on the table. That's.... different, coming from Randy.

It's something like this: "Sorry about breaking up the lovefest but you call yourself the Future really andyou can go ahead and think that but I'm still the present and the future so why is everybody mentioning that I lost last night seriously you did it twice and why are you doing that because the only reason it happened is because your boy Rollins curb stomped me last week and yeah boy you got a hell of a finish and I'm still seeing stars so maybe it's your fault I lost and just thinking of it makes me think I'm about to lose it so I should check myself into anger management like I did in 2006 which you know was actually for real not a story which is something you should remember because if you don't deal with Rollins and leave it up to me..."

And then, mid-coke-rant, he just tosses the mic aside and charges Rollins. Triple H, Kane, and the Stooges immediately pull them apart; Rollins is just sort of laughing about how he got under the Mantard's skin so easily, but Orton is furious. HHH tries to talk him down, telling him to settle down and go back to his bus, kick back, and just take the rest of the night off. Finally Orton stops yelling that he'll only settle down once Rollins is dead. Yes, dead. Which seems like an awfully rude thing to say on a TV-PG show; much worse than choking some guy with a tie, anyway. Ahem.

But I digress, Randy finally does appear to calm down, and HHH steps back and gives him his space. As soon as he has the opening, Orton hits Rollins with a flash RKO, to big cheers (and, ironically, a huge "YES!" chant). Orton departs, still showing way more kinetic energy at any time in the last year or so, which is the same thing that happened the last time he turned face in 2011. I won't complain about that.

Then, the Stooges had to prop up Rollins as the whole group slowly walked to the back while the crowd taunted and enjoyed their misfortune. Effective opening segment; it forwarded a key new story (Rollins/Orton) while also setting the stage for the short term (tonight's Rollins/Cena match).

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THE DUST BROTHERS vs. BIG SHOW & MARK HENRY (Tag Title Match)

So Show and Henry are back together, and just jump straight into a title match... huh; I know I wanted them to step into the tag title picture, but I sort of assumed that would mean re-establishing themselves ahead of a title match next month.

FYI: it's not all rainbows and sunshine, as a clip from "earlier today" is shown during their ring entrance, and it features the two bickering about last night, where Show thinks he had the match won against Rusev if not for Henry showing up to distract him. But in the end, they agree that winning the tag titles will heal all wounds.

Bell rings, and Goldust tries to play mind games with Henry. Henry just throws him around. So Goldust tells Stardust to try something. He also fails at mind games and gets rag dolled around. Show tags in, and piles on with SHHHHHHH! Chops.

Henry tags himself in, and has some more fun at Cody's expense (there's one slapstick spot where Stardust wants to crawl to his corner to make a tag, but Henry's just holding him by one ankle), only to have Show blind tag HIMself in.

All of a sudden, Henry gets pissy, and the two start arguing. Presumably Stardust will be able to make that tag, now, but we won't know until after these....

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Back, and sure enough, Goldust is working a chinlock on Big Show, as a result of Show and Henry arguing during the ad break, so Stardust was able to make the tag.

Show powers out of the chinlock, and briefly cinches in the same sort of bow-and-arrow submission he used last night. But Goldust manages to get the quick rope break, so Show opts to make the tag, and Stardust comes in on the corresponding move.

Henry immediately tries to unleash some power moves, but falls prey to a double team, and just like that, he's the new Face in Peril. Frequent tags by the Dusts keep him in the enemy corner.

Stardust hits a big springboard dropkick on Henry that has the unintended effect of driving Henry back into his own corner, where Show again blind tags himself in... this time, it's for the entirely justifiable reason that Henry's in the middle of getting his ass kicked, but Henry is still visibly miffed.

Henry grudgingly steps out onto the apron and watches Show go all house o' fire, chucking Goldust out of the ring and hitting the WMD on Stardust (who is legal). But just as Show's about to make the cover to win the tag titles, Henry steps into the ring and hits a World's Strongest Slam on Big Show. He puts Stardust's carcass on top of Show, and the ref counts three.

Your WInners, and Still Tag Team Champions: Goldust and Stardust, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Passable little match that did what it needed to in terms of telling its story. And well, there's the answer to why they got hot-shotted to a title match, instead of re-establishing themselves. It's because WWE decided not to use them as a tag team at all. With no other credible face teams (besides the Usos), I'm not sure I see the point, and I'm already terrified for the inevitable weepy/heartbroken/actory Big Show promos we'll have to deal with (I hate weepy bitch Big Show so much), but the flip side of that is that Henry's marginally more effective as a heel. So I'll roll with it.

After the Match: Henry hit another WSS on Show. Then the crowd chanted "One More Time," and Henry obliged. He finally left the ring, shouting various selfish things to try to generate heel heat, but the reaction was decidedly mixed. And yep: part of the reason why is because Big Show was in the ring looking all forelorn, with tears welling up in his eyes. Ugh.

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Backstage: Mark Henry is WALKING~! and Renee Young runs up to do her journalistic duty by asking him "Why?" Henry says he did what he did, because if he'd waited, Big Show would have done it to him. He's gotten to know Big Show, and Henry's deduced that he's a petty, jealous man who wants the spotlight for himself. But he can't have it, because it belongs to Mark Henry. Short and sweet.

Via Satellite: Roman Reigns (just call him 'The Juggernaut," because WWE has decided that's his new thing) weighs in on the Rollins/Ambrose match from last night. He commends "his boy" Ambrose for fighting his ass off, and says that he's not surprised at how Rollins won, because hiding behind others has always been his M.O., so why not hide behind Bray Wyatt if the opportuity presents itself? He closes by saying, "Just know this, Seth. You call yourself the Future, but as soon as I'm cleared, I'm coming to make you the Past. Believe that."

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AJ LEE vs. ALICIA FOX (Non-Title)

Paige is on guest commentary, claiming she is still best friends with Alicia, despite beating her up last night. Alicia's attitude towards Paige seem to indicate she's not quite convinced of this, but she's also still working as a pure heel against AJ.

Alicia uses size and strength to dominate early, and Paige keeps putting her over as the greatest ever. She also has to fend off some sleaziness from JBL, and does so adorably. But then, when AJ reverses a move into a DDT, and goes on a little tear, Paige gets up and starts screaming encouragement to Alicia.

But instead of inspiring Alicia, it distracts her, and AJ gets a quick roll-up.

Your Winner: AJ Lee, via pinfall, in about 4 minutes. Nothing to see here, match-wise, this was all about story stuff, and it continued...

After the Match: Paige initially acted upset and begged Alicia's forgiveness, but as soon as Alicia seemed to give it, Paige lunged at her with a stiff forearm and started kicking the crap out of her, again, including whipping her several times into the ringside barricade. When trainers came out to tend to Alicia, Paige finally backed off, all while screaming that Alicia is the "Worst Best Friend Ever."

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LOOKS LIKE THE UNIVERSE PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO CHEER JOHN CENA UNANIMOUSLY...

John Cena hits the ring, to address his newly won #1 Contendership. Sounds like one of Cena's better crowds, maybe about 60/40 cheers to boos... he might even goose that up to 70/30 with some cheap pandering: he mentions that tomorrow is the Spurs opening night, and they'll be raising another championship banner (after winning the title in June). The crowd goes apeshit, and gets in a quick "Go, Spurs, Go" chant.

Then Cena gets down to business, seguing into a rant about how he wants another championship of his own, and last night, he went to war against Randy Orton to earn a title shot against Brock Lesnar.

Cena recycles his standing thesis about Lesnar, which is that a guy who only shows up a few times a year is now champion. Cena goes to war every week, and that's what it takes to be a real superstar in this business, and it's what the fans deserve. So "whenever Brock Lesnar decides to show up next," Cena says he's going to take that title away from him.

Well, that's depressing. There are rumors that Lesnar won't fight again till Royal Rumble, which is just plain inexcusible. And here, instead of establishing that Cena/Lesnar III is happening at Survivor Series -- which is the reasonable way to handle things -- they're just leaving it open ended. Ugh.

Since there's no Lesnar here, and not even any Heyman, to give us a timeline or traction for their title match, Cena just changes gears to talk about his match tonight against Seth Rollins, and how it'll be the greatest most awesomest thing ever and....

Steph's music hits and she comes out to interrupt him with a little pro-Rollins banter, and then changes gears her own self. She talks about how disappointed she is to see Cena out here, pandering, talking about basketball teams, trying to win the approval of fans who just keep chanting "Cena Sucks."

Ironically, San Antonio doesn't take the bait. There is no "Cena Sucks" chant. Heh.

But Steph keeps down that path, saying that Cena goes to war and gives his all every week, and these fans don't appreciate it. All of a sudden, the crowd fires up a unanimous "SEE NAH SEE NAH SEE NAH" chant. Cena cracks a little smile, as if to say, "Of all the weeks, you people decide to get behind me when Steph's whole promo is predicated on you booing me. Oy."

Steph has to call an audible, and does a mini-improv about how "Oh, great, so one week, one arena that chants your name. But we both know how it is every other place you go." Then she continues with what turns out to be a recruiting speech.

She says Cena's already tried and failed to beat Brock Lesnar, and nothing's changed, he has no reason to think he can win. So maybe he could use a little help... and all he has to do is join Team Authority. Hell, he would even be the captain of Team Authority. Presumably a team that will be forming for the purposes of Survivor Series, although it's unstated by Stephanie.

The crowd chants "NO! NO! NO!" and Cena gives a wordier response about how he loves his job, and he loves doing it his way. Then he gives steph a succinct NO! of his own. Yay!

Suddenly, Triple H's music fires up, and he hits the ring, looking all angry... he says he was afriad of this: his wife made a perfectly sensible and generous offer, and Cena just dismissed it out of hand, because he's oblivious to the reality of the situation.

After 12 years, he's given a ton of beatings, and he's taken some, and it's all taken its toll. He's no longer steam-rolling through the roster, he's hanging on by a thread. The Authority was offering him a lifeline, a way to extend his career, to keep the money train rolling for BOTH of them. And Cena's too stupid to take it; his heart cannot be questioned, but his body is wearing down and his brain is unable to recognize it.

So fine, if Cena won't take the lifeline and join the Authority, the Authority will try to hasten his demise. At Survivor Series, HHH will assemble Team Authority, and Cena will have to assemble his own team to face them... and good luck with that, John, trying to find 4 other dudes willing to cross the boss, cuz not everybody is as stupid as you. Punchline, so play HHH's music so he and Steph can leave, while Cena's left with a blank stare on his face.

So, ummmm, presumably Rollins/Kane/Stooges vs. Cena/Reigns/2 other guys (or maybe no Stooges, then you get Bray Wyatt in there on the heel side, and Ambrose in for the faces?, is set in stone, and now we're gonna spend the next month with both sides vying for Orton's services as their fifth man? Night-of-event-swerve, optional.

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THE USOS vs. MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW

Miz starts, which means Sandow starts "air wrestling" on the apron, which inspires an instant "We Want Mizdow" chant. Miz gets his ass handed to him for a minute and a half, then as soon as he hits his first offensive move, he gestures as if to ask "You want Sandow?" The crowd is in agreement that, yes, they do.

So Miz immediately turns his back and starts stomping away on an Uso. He will not be making any tag. Jerk.

His offense doesn't last, and he gets clotheslined out over the top rope. Sandow instantly flops down on the mats, next to him, and the Usos decide to do a little mirroring of their own: they hit stereo suicide dives, and celebrate as we take a break for...

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Back, and Sandow is working a headlock on an Uso. When said Uso threatens to fire up, Sandow drops him with Miz's short DDT. Tag to Miz, who just does a few punches and face gouges. Back to Sandow, who sets up for Miz's hooking turnbuckle clothesline, but he runs into a pair of boots.

Hot tag to Jimmy, corresponding move to Miz. Jimmy with a quick flurry into a schoolboy roll-up. Mizdow has to make the save, kicking Jimmy in the head. While the ref is getting Sandow out of the ring, Jey switches places with Jimmy, and catches Miz with a surprise roll-up. Twin magic, FTW~!

Your Winners: the Usos, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Quite enjoyable, as is pretty much always the case now that Sandow has mastered the art of mirroring Miz. He even continued after the match, mimicking Miz's tantrum once they saw the replay of the switch on the Tron.

Backstage: John Cena is chatting with Dolph Ziggler. The recruiting has begun.

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Backstage: Kane confronts Ziggler. "Word has it you were just seen talking to John Cena." Ziggler confirms this. Kane says he has no choice but to interpret that as an act of aggression against the Authority. Therefore, Kane would like to commit an act of aggression against Ziggler. He books the match for later tonight.

FAREWELL TILL NEXT OCTOBER, PINK

Here's Hulk Hogan, once again eschewing his usual colors to wear pink, because Boobies Good, Cancer Bad.

Hogan immediately puts over Cena, saying he can't wait to see "his champion" John Cena take out that "stinky beast" Brock Lesnar.

But the real reason he's here is because this is the last Monday of October, and the end of the Komen/WWE partnership is nigh (until next year), so he just wants to give a shout out to the breast cancer survivors in the crowd, and make one final push for donations.

He closes by bringing the women into the ring to join him for a posedown.

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"THE INSPIRATIONAL" BO DALLAS vs. ????????????

Bo hits the ring and says he's issued an open challenge. So c'mon, which superstar is gonna step up and take advantage of this glorious opportunity?

"FEED. ME. MORE."

RYBACK vs. BO DALLAS

Holy shit, that's a HUGE babyface pop for the Big Guy. And persistent "Feed Me More" chants.

But we're all adults here, so let's not pretend this is something it wasn't.

Your Winner: Ryback, via pinfall, in 60 seconds flat. Yeah, it was a squash. But it sure as hell served as an effective red hot comeback for Rebooted Ryback.

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DEAN AMBROSE vs. CESARO (Not Really a Match Match)

This could be something special... but given WWE's inability to utilize Cesaro to his maximum potential (and the high probability that this has to end with a Bray Wyatt run-in), I'm guessing maybe not.

Ambrose prefaces the match with a quick promo about Bray Wyatt. He doesn't know why Wyatt did what he did, but he'll just give this morsel of advice: "You don't piss off an animal with sharper claws than yours, and you don't screw with Dean Ambrose."

Then he bum-rushes Cesaro before the ref even rings the bell, and brawls with him all the way up the stage, raining down blows (while holding the microphone, for added audio effect) the whole time.

Finally, Cesaro is completely out, and the ref covers him up, so Ambrose has to retreat. He heads back to the ring, and says he's not one for magic tricks, so he just wants Bray Wyatt to get his ass out here, and get what's coming to him.

Instead, we get a Freeze Frame (again, not the old Sheep Mask Freeze Frame, but the new Bray-only one from last night) and we cut backstage to Bray, alone in his lair. He speaks:

"I can't help looking at you, and seeing my own distorted reflection. We are both victims of a broken system, we are of a kind. But make no mistake, we are not brothers, we are not friends. I know you, I know your mind. And I will use that knowledge to end you, and then feed off your soul. Run, Dean, run."

Works for me.

Oh, and I guess I should make it official....

Your Winner: None, because there was no match. Which is too bad, but whatchya gonna do, brothers? Except keep spinning conspriacy theories about Cesaro being punished for saying what the majority of fans already think?

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NAOMI vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/ Brie)

Nikki makes a big show out of bossing Brie around before the match, because apparently WWE has decided to put "reality" TV melodrama on RAW, now that That Which OO Does Not Acknowledge As Valid Entertainment is on haitus until the spring (after its lowest rated season yet). Lucky us...

We pretty much jump right into the mid-match heel beatdown. Against Brie, Nikkia can play the size/strength card, but that doesn't play against Naomi, who is easily the division's best pure athlete at this point. So she sticks to simple brawly stuff that requires five counts from the ref to build a modicum of heat.

Naomi powers up out of a rest hold, and shows off those skills with a flipping clothesline, a sit-out powerbomb, and other cool stuff. But then Brie reaches up and grabs her ankle, causing a distraction, and allowing Nikki to take over and hit the Torture Rack Drop (now called the Rack Attack).

Your Winner: Nikki Bella, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. The takeaway is that Brie did Nikki's evil bidding, but was clearly not happy about it. I guess. This could easily have developed into a fine match, but it's hard to care when it's all wrapped up with crappy acting, shitty promos, and ham-fisted melodrama.

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KORPORATE KANE (Non-Title)

After a quick bit of cat and mouse, Ziggler decides "Screw it" and just takes the fight to Kane. The element of surprise works for about 20 seconds fist-a-flyin', and then Kane asserts his will.

JBL uses the one-sidedness to rant about how this just goes to show how hard it will be for Cena to find a team. The Authority will have the pick of the litter, but anyone who so much as TALKS to Cena will suffer like this. JBL theorizes that Cena will be stuck with 3 Rosebuds and The Bunny, because nobody else is dumb enough to team with him.

Meantime, Kane has finally had enough of working hard, and has settled in with a chinlock. Which is Dolph's signal to fire up and start his comeback. Escapes the chinlock, then lowbridges Kane, sending him tumbling out to the floor.

Hmmmm, guess I was wrong. Instead of that serving as the start of Dolph's comeback, it's the break in the action we need to break for...

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Back, and Kane's regained the advantage, but Dolph restarts his rally by countering a powerbomb attempt into a facebuster (yep, once again, YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN!). But then he goes for the Stinger Splash, and Kane catches him with a huge uppercut. It's so well-done, a simple punch gets multiple replays.

More beatdown by Kane, which ends with him working a modified Cobra Clutch. But then Dolph escapes that, and catches Kane with an elbow when Kane charges him in a corner. Then he springs back up and hits the Stinger Splash this time.

Straight into a turnbuckle mount-and-punch, then a Neckbreaker, and the leaping elbow for a near fall.

Ziggler comes off the ropes, thinking Fameasser, but Kane catches him and turns it into a side slam. Kane goes up top, but whiffs on the clothesline. Fameasser lands this time. Kane kicks out at two.

Attempted superkick, into an attempted powerslam, Ziggler tries to turn it into a spike DDT, but instead Kane throws him off. Ziggler comes right back at him with a superkick that lands, and kane slumps across the top rope. Ziggler goes for a Zig Zag, but Kane just throws him off again.

Another chokeslam attempt, but Ziggler sneaks out the back door and slides into a pinning combo. He gets the three count.

Your WInner: Dolph Ziggler, via pinfall, in 12 minutes or so. Dolph definitely got an extra notch of effort out of Kane, versus what we've seen from him recently. Really good stuff.

After the Match: Seth Rollins ran out and walloped Ziggler with the MitB Briefcase, starting a two-on-one beatdown meant to underscore that even if Dolph wins, he will be punished for daring to talk to Cena.

And then Cena runs out and makes the save, sending the heels fleeing backstage. So the story here is that Cena will have the back for anybody who's willing to step up and be on his team.

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This Week on SmackDown: it's a special Halloween themed show. Already confirmed is a costume battle royale for the divas. I bet Pyro will enjoy that.Also, I heard tell that WWE has some plans for the Boogeyman. Sorry 'bout yer damned luck, Pyro.

JOHN CENA vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/ the New Stooges)

Cena apparently just hung around after running off the heels... but Rollins gets a fresh entrance. He's got his ribs taped up, selling the Cell match from last night.

Oh, and not to be a dick, but... three weeks ago, Cena wanted to face Rollins so badly that he was willing to fight Dean Ambrose over it. Tonight, he just gets handed the match? There's something a few degrees off kilter with that narrative.

Cena decides to give the partisan fans a "Thank You" in the form of busting out some flashy mat wrestling skills early on. There is a loud "SEE NAH" chant, and just some grumbling (no organized "Cena Sucks" effort). Rollins eventually tries to dive outside to regroup, but Cena follows, and keeps taking the fight to Rollins.

But then Noble and Mercury step in and cause a distraction, allowing Rollins to cheapshot Cena, and take over.

As Rollins lays the smack down on Cena, Jamie and Joey even get in a few cheapshots of their own, while Rollins distracts the ref. Rollins hits a snap suplex on the floor, but in so doing, he does some damage to his own ribs. When he takes the fight back into the ring, he dosn't suffer any ill effects, though. He just keeps the pedal down and dominates Cena, save for a few flurries of punches that pass for hope spots.

Big ol' Buff Blockbuster by Rollins gets near fall, but Cena remains on the mat after kicking out. So we have a little break in the action that will serve as our final break for...

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Back, and Rollins is still stomping away on Cena. It all builds up to Rollins hitting his version of the Flying Goat Dive that drives Cena back into the announce table, but also does a number to his own injured ribs.

The ref has to start counting, and it's not until 8 when Rollins is able to dive in to break the count, and then take the fight back to Cena. And he continues his string of Not-Exactly-Great-Ideas by setting Cena up for a superplex... but Cena starts fighting back, and gets the better of it, shoving Rollins off, and following up with a very nice Steamboat Style High Cross Bodyblock. That's another new (or very rare) wrinkle.

Cena tries to follow up with an F-U, but Rollins easily escapes and counters into a DDT. Back to the beatdown. Rollins eventually goes back up top and hits.... ummmm, nothing. He whiffed what looked like a clothesline attempt, but Cena still sold it by falling to the mat. Cole calls it a "glancing blow," for whatever that's worth.

But they move on past it, and the crowd is definitely not of the sort to chant "You Fucked Up," so it's pretty seamless.

Rollins works a modified sleeper for a bit. Cena powers up, but again Rollins snuffs out any rally with a standing dropkick, and then dumping Cena out of the ring to take a few more cheapshots from the Stooges. Rollins is now gonna be perfectly happy to take a count-out....

But Cena's able to dive back into the ring at 9-and-a-half. Rollins just pummels him for his insolence.

But after punishing Cena, Rollins takes too much time gloating about it to the fans. He turns around, and Cena's in Five Moves of Doom mode, ending with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Then, for good measure he throws Rollins out over the top rope, and onto the Stooges. No more Stooges.

Cena has to go out to fetch Rollins, and on the toss back into the ring, Rollins does the cat-and-mouse role reversal spot, catching Cena with an enzuigiri as soon as he steps through the ropes.

Rollins goes for a corner charge, but Cena gets a boot up, and then jumps onto the second rope and hits a Tornado DDT. The hell? I like this John Cena.

That gets a near fall, and sends Rollins looking for a rest by grabbing the ropes. When Cena tries to pull him off, Rollins lands on his feet, cat-like, and hits a flash inverted cutter move for a near fall. Nice. Then Rollins goes for a superplex again, but Cena again fights out... but this time, Rollins lands on his feet, and uses the leverage of Cena already up on the ropes to lift him into powerbomb position and runs him all the way across the ring for the Turnbuckle Bomb in the opposite corner. Wow.

But again, it's only good for a two.

So Seth decides it's time to hit the Curb Stomp... but when he comes in, Cena picks the ankle and cinches in the SSTF. Will Rollins tap out? Not a chance, because here's Kane running out to cause the DQ.

Your Winner: John Cena, via disqualification, in 20 minutes. So yeah, it was a cheap finish, but man alive that was a hell of a match. Remembering that Rollins breakthrough singles match came against Cena about a year ago, it seems maybe these two just click together, and it doesn't even matter about the heel/face alignment. Rollins had none of the flashy babyface tricks tonight, and instead, Cena supplied all kinds of rarely seen babyface chops . Just excellent, andobviously: youtube-worthy if you missed it.

After the Match: Rollins got in on the action, and it looked like we were headed for a 2-on-1 decimating of Cena... but then Dolph Ziggler ran out, which was just the start, because when the Stooges re-unevened the odds, the entire roster -- heels and babyface, everyone from the upper mid-card to Torito and Hornswoggle (guys like Ambrose, Orton, and Wyatt were absent) -- hits the ring for a massive brawl.

Cole's call: "It doesn't look like the Authority or Cena will have trouble finding team members. Everybody's throwing their hat into the ring?" Well, Maggle, I appreciate the sentiment, but I also think we can pretty much unequivically rule out about 90% of the dudes out there...

After a minute or so, everybody collectively decides to powder out, so Cena can have the spotlight, hitting an F-U on Heath Slater, and then another one on Bo Dallas. Play his music, because he's standing tall, while Seth Rollins is cowering up on the stage (with Triple H and Stephanie) as we fade to black...

And so ends the show. After a pretty abysmal string in September and October, this builds on the decent show of last Monday, and takes it up even another notch...

In addition to avoiding major pitfalls (as they did last week), this show actually delivered an actual memorable signature match with that main event. It was just outstanding.

Then, that was bolstered by a handful of very fine matches on the undercard, with Ziggler/Kane the obvious leader of that pack. But the tag title match (with its added storytelling/heel turn augmenting the lesser ringwork) and the other tag match (with solid ringwork and a tinch of comedy thanks to Mizdow's continued awesomeness) weren't TOO far behind.

The shorter/lesser matches were all inoffensive, and hell, if you didn't get a little tingly for the Ryback squash, I can't help you. Cuz that was fun.

On the pure non-match storyline advancement, everything was mostly OK, too. Definitely approve of Orton finding a little bit of a spark tonight after backsliding into some lethargic habits lately; he's not all that naturally likeable, but goodness, Rollins is at a point where it seems like he can make anybody other than him seem like a knight in shining armor. And they didn't give away a whole lot with regards to Wyatt/Ambrose, but what they did was perfectly fine and on message.

If there was a segment that didn't quite starch my dress shirt, it was the Cena promo, which set off all kinds of warning bells with regards to WWE's intended use of Lesnar. A once-a-month champ could be fresh and exciting and a great way to manufacture Big Match Atmosphere, and I would have signed off on that plan in an instant once somebody proposed putting the belt on Lesnar. But a champ who takes four months off between matches (which is now looking increasingly like the case, with Cena/Lesnar kicked down the road to the Rumble), then seriously, screw you, WWE.

It's indefensible that you'd go ahead with the Lesnar Plan if THIS was your intent. Either pay Lesnar to make at least 6 defenses through his contract expiration after WrestleMania -- including the completely reasonable and sensible move of doing Lesnar/Cena III at Survivor Series -- or DON'T DO IT AT ALL.

Then there was another little hitch where Steph's bit of the promo was already rather random and ham-handed (a plot device, more than a reflection of a real state of affairs), which only got worse once San Antonio refused to co-operate. Wrong night to play the "Everybody hates you, Cena" card, to say the least.

For most, I figure that gets swept under the rug, because the idea of Team Authority vs. Team Cena, with all the recruiting and drama associiated with it (which I do think will center mostly on Orton's intentions), is intriguing enough to justify the massive narrative stretch required to get there. So even that's not a big knock.

Putting it all together, and taking a look at the big picture, I think I'll go ahead and award this show a grade of A-minus... yeah, I feel good about that. Probably more of a high-B show, but then, damn, that main event was tremendous and gets weighted the most heavily. So A-minus it is.

See you next week, kids. Have fun and be safe on Halloween (unless you already celebrated over the past weekend, in which case just relax, detox after whatever damage you did, and enjoy the extra hour of sleep, since this is the weekend the clocks Fall back)...

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.