OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Seth Rollins' Big Night
January 12, 2015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

So as I put the finishing touches on this recap, Ohio State just won the National Title.

I can assure you that I have no love for the Buckeyes. In fact, I kind of hate them, mostly because of how many people who didn't go to school there obsess over them, and just assume that I must, too, just because I live in the state of Ohio.

Bzzzzzt. Wrong. Why in the blue hell would I have some profound sense of allegience to some intitution to which I have no actual ties? And more to the point? Why do YOU?!?! And why won't you shut up about it?

For the first time, I think I'm actually glad to be displaced and temporarily living in Texas. Nobody here much cares, and therefore, I'll escape the non-stop deluge of OSU chatter that I would have endured back home.

But I will say this: perhaps the Buckeyes' tale of surviving and even thriving despite a depleted roster will be a harbinger of things to come for another team from Ohio that is actually universally beloved. As I noted last week, the Dayton Flyers are down to 6 scholarship players, but they still rattled off two more road wins in the past 7 days, and are up to the top 20 in the RPI and the top 30 in both polls.

Hell, if the team believes they can still win despite the crappy hand fate has dealt them, then maybe I should stop being so fatalistic, and believe the same thing. Then again, if I just keep on expecting the worst, I'm insulated against any kick to the balls, and can just keep being pleasantly surprised by each and every win.

What to do? What to do?

I know: I need to quit digressing and get to the point. So here's what happened tonight on RAW:

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: OO does not recap recaps.

JOHN CENA STARS IN "THE DUMBEST THREAT EVER"

And then we're live in New Orleans (site of the last WrestleMania), where Lilian Garcia is back on duty, and introducing John Cena. He's here to talk.

He says he thought it through, and regardless of the consequences, he says he'd make the same decision a thousand times over, because saving Edge was the right thing to do. What's wrong is the Authority going around firing people. That's not on him, no matter how they try to spin it, that's on them.

So if the fans agree, and they wish Ryback, Erick Rowan, and Dolph Ziggler get their jobs back (and they do, giving an especially big cheer for Ziggler), they should start tweeting with the hashtag "Authority Sucks." And if they get that trending, then the Authority will have to admit that what's best for business is bringing them back.

But just in case they're too deaf, blind, or stupid, Cena has a Plan B... he's going to win the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble, and if those three men don't have their jobs back, Cena is going to take the WWE Title and go home, and WWE will be left without its most coveted prize, exposing the Authority as terrible bosses.

Uhhhhh, so how is that any different from the situation right now? Lesnar shows up, at most, every other week, and goes months without appearing... and now Cena is threatening to do the same thing, like it would cripple the company. So dumb.

With that threat made, Triple H and Stephanie come out. And instead of pointing out how stupid said threat is, they take 5 goddamned minutes to ramble about how Cena's threat amounts to him turning his back on the fans just like he turned his back on his teammates. I mean it: just talking in circles for 5 minutes, as if repeating the same nonsense will somehow render their nonsensical spin true. It was like what I imagine FOX News is like, if only I could ever stomach watching more of it than the clips that get destroyed on the Daily Show.

But finally, Cena's idiotic threat and the Authority's equally lame response are shoved aside, because HHH says he really does want to do what's best for business, so tonight, if John Cena can win his match, all three guys will be rehired.

Cena speculates that it'll be some kind of crazy 10-on-1 match, but HHH says nope, it'll be one-on-one. Cena versus Seth Rollins... oh, but there is a catch: it'll be a handicap match.

And HHH has hand-picked the lumberjacks. He calls them out to the ring... and obviously, it's all heels, led by Big Show, Kane, the Stooges, Barrett, and others. And they're out here because that match is next. By which we mean, after these...

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JOHN CENA vs. SETH ROLLINS (Lumberjack Match)

Despite not having time to prepare, Cena appears to have a plan as soon as the bell rings, taking the fight to a few of the meddling lumberjacks instead of being passive... but before long, Rollins is able to dodge a charge, and sends Cena out over the top rope, where half the jacks converge and assault Cena.

When Cena is able to reverse things, and chucks Rollins out of the ring, the jacks do nothing, as the New Stooges step in and help Rollins up to his feet. With the inequity of it all on full display, we break for...

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Back, and Rollins is in command, thanks to shennanigans by Wade Barrett. After a couple minutes, Cena fires up, and hits the Five Moves of Doom, albeit with a delay... Rollins was able to kick his way out of the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but after a back and forth exchange, he did finally finish it by landing the fist drop.

Then Cena hit the F-U, which brought the Stooges into the ring to break things up, and allowing Rollins to roll out of the ring to regroup.

When the action re-commenced, Rollins was able to gain control. But when he decided to go up to the top rope, Cena caught him, and tried to set up for a superplex... but Rollins flipped out and turned it into his across-the-ring turnbucklebomb.

When Cena kicked out at 2, Rollins wasted time jawing with the ref, allowing Cena to recover and hit a powerbomb of his own. Both men down, ref applies the double count.

Both men up at 7, and they start trading punches. Cena wins the exchange, and tries for another F-U. Rollins wiggles out and counters with his sort of blockbuster-y move for a near fall.

Another exchange, and Cena finally did hit the second F-U... so a couple jacks reached in and yanked Cena out of the ring, and then assaulted him for a good 30 seconds. When they tossed him back into the ring, Rollins was ready and waiting to hit the Curb Stomp.

But Cena picked the ankle, and locked in the SSTF. The jacks intervened again, yanking Cena out of the ring. And this time, Big Show said "I got this" and hit the WMD.

They threw Cena's carcass back into the ring, and Rollins made the pin.

Your Winner: Seth Rollins, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. Not much of a wrestling match, but it was a very effective story told. The numbers game was on full display, with the subtext that no one else on the roster wanted to step in to even the odds, because they would incur the wrath of the Authority. It worked so well that the usual split crowd was more like 90/10 in favor of Cena. To me, that's the best evidence that -- even in the absence of pure OMG WORKRATE~! -- this one accomplished its goal.

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Backstage: Stephanie has summoned the Usos and Dean Ambrose to her office. It seems that their various acts of insubordination on SmackDown did not go unnoticed. So she just wants to make sure that the three understand that if they're not happy about what happened to Ziggler & Co., they should direct that to Cena, because it's not the Authority's fault.

The Usos are expecting another shoe to drop, but Steph assures them they won't be fired or punished... but oh, Jimmy's wife Naomi will be in action tonight, and she'll be competing with her hands tied behind her back. The Usos are not happy, and storm off.

As far as Ambrose goes, he checked himself out of the hospital last Monday, and has exhibited unstable behavior ever since, so Steph has ordered a psych evaluation to take place tonight. And if Ambrose doesn't pass, he's out of the Royal Rumble match.

Elsewhere Backstage: the Miz and Damien Sandow do a little riff about the Golden Globes in which Miz acts as if his Slammy puts him on the same A-list as Clooney, et al.

Elsewhere Elsewhere Backstage: Ambrose and the doctor are settling in, so expect lots of "hilarious" segments peppered in throughout the night.

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NEW DAY (w/ Big E) vs. CESARO & TYSON KIDD (w/ Adam Rose and Nattie)

New Day going with their speed combo, Kofi and Eggsavier. Pretty much as soon as the bell rings, however, that speed is negated as Cesaro flips Kofi into the air and Kidd knocks him out of it with a kick. Insta-Face-in-Peril.

About 2 minutes in, they hit the Giant Swing/Low Dropkick combo for a convincing near fall; Woods actually has to come in to break it up.

Kofi eventually gets separation and the lukewarm tag to Eggsavier. He goes on the most awkward house o' fire segment ever (just disjointed, and the silliness of that flip clothesline cannot be overstated), a Pier Sixer breaks out, and when the dust settles, Kofi and Woods have isolated Kidd, and hit their finisher on him.

Your Winners: New Day, via pinfall, in 4 minutes. I'm already over A New Day, so this was all kinds of bleh as far as I'm concerned. Cesaro and Kidd had a few spots that made it clear that they have a future if WWE's willing to put the machine behind them, but the match was too compressed to amount to much else.

Hall of Fame: Cole & The Gang (once again, Booker T is replacing Jerry Lawler, and that's expected to be permanent, with Lawler working on SmackDown) say that Randy Savage is "expected to be" announced as the first member of the Hall of Fame Class of 2015, but we won't know until later tonight. Uhhhhh, why? The decision has already been made and the video package already produced, so why the completely bogus, disengenuous, and insulting attempt at drama?

Underscoring the lack of uncertainty, they shoot it to a video package of the current WWE roster doing Macho Man's catchphrases. Roman Reigns, in particular, did a great "Oooohhhhh Yeah."

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Next Week: four Hall of Famers will be in the house for "RAW Reunion." Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and Scott Hall will be there.

BIG SHOW IS A BIG STINKY LIAR

Big Show comes on down to the ring, and riles up the crowd by talking about how great he is, and how they are all big pieces of garbage. His first day on the job, he won the WCW Title from Hulk Hogan, and it was easy. And he's only gotten better.

Meantime, all the losers in the crowd are struggling through a mediocre existence where any time a new guy shows up at work, they flash the false friendliness, while secretly plotting to sabotage them, because they don't want to lose their job to somebody better. It's their only path to job security.

In contrast, Big Show wants us all to understand that even though Roman Reigns is kind of like the new guy at the office, he so totally doesn't view him as a threat. Reigns is just a loser like the rest of the fans.

Reigns' music hits, and he heads to the ring, though the crowd. Big Show immediately bails out, making it clear that not even he believes his own BS.

Reigns makes a quick joke about being only 12 years old when Show beat Hogan for the WCW Title, before launching into a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk that didn't exactly enthrall anyone.

Then Luke Harper came out, because apparently he's got a match against Reigns...

ROMAN REIGNS vs. LUKE HARPER

We get about 20 seconds of action, then Reigns tosses Harper out of the ring. While he regroups, we break for...

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Back, and Big Show has decided to saunter down to the ring to scout Reigns, up close. He gets to watch Reigns and Harper go back and forth with slobberknockery. Simple but hard hitting.

Harper gets the nominal advantage after a surprising drop kick, and uses it to take the fight outside the ring, where he introduces Reigns to the various bits of furniture. Back in the ring for the Gator Roll into a headlock.

The slowdown serves as the launching point for Reigns' comeback. He fires up out of the rest hold, then hits a flurry of elbows and clotheslines, as the crowd goes decidedly mild.

Big Show perks up when Reigns gets a near fall off a backdrop suplex, and sets up for the Superman Punch. In fact, he throws a chair in Reigns' general direction, creating a momentary distraction. Harper takes advantage by dodging thee punch and countering with a sidewalk slam for a near fall.

Another back and forth exchange, and Reigns hits the Superman Punch, and then his running apron dropkick thingie. Show once again creates a distraction, and Harper's able to bounce back with a superkick... but as he lines up for the big lariat, Reigns recovers and cuts him in half with a Spear.

Your Winner: Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Not bad, by any means... but if WWE's still thinking Reigns is the right guy to win the Rumble and go to WrestleMania to win the title, this is yet another bit of evidence that they're about to make a big mistake. Reigns has not yet shown the kind of in-ring work to do matches that have main event depth, and the fan response is lagging, too.

After the Match: Big Show dove in the ring and attacked Reigns, culminated in the second WMD of the night.

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Backstage: Miz and Sandow are once again riffing on the Golden Globes. This time, Sandow reveals that he's been working on a project not unlike "Childhood." For the past six months, Sandow has had cameras follow Miz everywhere to secretly record his every waking moment, and as a result, "coming soon to a thee-ah-tar near you" will be Miz starring in "Manhood."

Miz does not look pleased. Could this be the start of Sandow blackmailing Miz? Or just WWE's attempt to work in random topical references?

NAOMI vs. ALICIA FOX

Per Steph's order, Naomi has one arm tied behind her back. Despite this, Alicia can't muster a sustained offense, as Naomi stays in the match with kicks.

Then Alicia hits a Scissors Kick out of nowhere, and it's over. Cole is indignant at the Authority running amok; JBL thinks it's the greatest thing ever.

Your Winner: Alicia Fox, via pinfall, in 90 seconds. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

Backstage: Dean Ambrose and the doctor are playing a little free association. The doc shows a picture, and Ambrose has to respond with his very first thought. [Before a picture is even shown, Ambrose just blurts out, "THURSDAY~!" because that commercial. Awesome.]

Then the actual pictures begin. Triple H: "irritable bowel syndrom." Seth Rollins: "scumbag." Kane: "toothpaste." Hacksaw Jim Duggan: "HO-OOOOOOOOOOO."

And the punchline is Stephanie McMahon, who also gets a "HO-OOOOOOOOOO."

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REMEMBER WRESTLEMANIA? PAUL HEYMAN DOES.

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are headed to the ring. Later tonight, there will apparently be a main event Contract Signing, but before then, Heyman's got a few words for us.

Specifically, he'd like to commemorate Brock Lesnar's return to the scene of the crime... 282 days ago, right here in New Orleans, Brock Lesnar defeated the Undertaker. Heyman has prepared a video reminder for us.

But Brock Lesnar isn't a man to live in the past, because if he was, he'd make sure everybody knows that he's the only man ever to win the NCAA heavyweight wrestling championship, the UFC heavyweight championship, and the WWE heavyweight championship. In fact, no other man has ever held TWO of those, but Heyman's Beast has won all three.

Luckily, Heyman is happy enough to rehash the past on Lesnar's behalf, and he continues to rub it in that Lesnar beat Taker, and how he takes great pride in revealing WWE's phoney and fabricated "fairytales" for the fantasy that they are.

WWE can hype all the fantasies that they want, but Brock Lesnar is a giant, dominant, heaping pile of reality, and everybody better get used to it.

This just in: Paul Heyman is very good at talking.

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More Macho: another batch of Randy Savage impersonations of varying levels of accuracy. Santino gets 4 or 5 tries in, to little success.

JEY USO (w/ Jimmy) vs. MIZ (w/ Damien Sandow)

After Miz vs. Jimmy has been the core issue in this tag feud, Jey's gonna try his hand against Miz. Meantime, the easy star of the match is Sandow and his mirroring of Miz.

Sandow's take on Miz suffering a delayed running powerslam required particular ingenuity.

When Miz finally got on offense, he tried a Figure Four. Jey reversed it, and Sandow had to reach in to yank Miz towards the ropes. Jimmy got involved to break that up, but the distraction was all Miz needed to hit a flash Skull Crushing Finale.

Your Winner: Miz, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. No real value as a match, but I'm guessing the story here is that Miz and Sandow will remain as #1 Contenders to the tag titles, even though last Friday's SD served as their obligatory title rematch.

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REMEMBER WRESTLEMANIA? DANIEL BRYAN DOES.

Daniel Bryan hits the ring, getting a huge ovation, and immediately channels Paul Heyman by flashing back to 282 days ago, at WrestleMania. The last time Bryan was here in New Orleans, he just so happened to win the WWE Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year.

So at the site of his biggest win, Bryan is promising to repeat the whole scenario by winning the Royal Rumble and going on to regain the WWE Title at WrestleMania 31.

But here comes Stephanie McMahon to provide a dissenting opinion. She is greeted with a "HO-OOOOOO!" chant. Also, she gets cheap heat by plugging her new workout DVD, in case Bryan's feeling like he's still not quite in tip top shape, you know, like she is.

She says that sure, Daniel Bryan lived out his little dream and won the title at WrestleMania, and maybe for one brief moment, he was something more than a B-plus player. But in no time, reality came crashing down on him, and nobody is gonna remember him as the champ, because he couldn't hold the title for more than 2 months. A true A-plus player doesn't just win the title, he KEEPS it.

And Bryan failed to do that. And why? Steph has a little video reminder of her own... footage of the night Kane Tombstoned Bryan on the ring steps, which was later retconned to be the "cause" of Bryan's injuries.

So knowing that he might flirt with glory, but will always end up as a B-plus player, does Bryan really think it's worth all the effort and all the risk or re-injury to go through with this charade?

The crowd beats Bryan to the punch with a giant YES! chant, so Bryan just sort of shrugs, and deadpans a "Yes" of his own.

Steph waits out the chant (and another "HO-OOOOOO" outburst), and declares that if Bryan's gonna be difficult, then his first match back won't be at the Royal Rumble. It'll be this Thursday, on Smackdown. And it'll be against a familiar foe.

Kane.

Kane comes on down to the ring, and Bryan tries to catch him off guard, but Kane quickly gains the upper hand, and intends to piledrive Bryan onto the ring steps again, ending his comeback before it even begins.

But Bryan gets free, and fires up, finally taking Kane down with a Flying Goat dive. Kane decides discretion is the better part of valor, and retreats, while Bryan gets an enormous pop out of the crowd.

Not to state the obvious, but THERE is a guy the fans would buy as a Rumble winner.

Backstage: Seth Rollins is chatting with the Stooges, when Brock Lesnar walks up and "congratulates" Seth on getting into the title match at the Rumble, in an insincere sort of "all you accomplished was me kicking your ass." Rollins mans up and insists that he's the future of WWE. Lesnar responds by saying the future doesn't begin until he says so.

Enter Paul Heyman, who tries to get both men calmed down, and says that they should play nice, and team up to make sure John Cena is out of the picture at the Rumble, and then (and only then), "May the best man win."

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PAIGE (w/ Nattie & Tyson Kidd) vs. BRIE BELLA (w/ Nikki)

So I gather last week really was a face turn for Paige, somehow predicated on That Which OO Does Not Acknowledge As Valid Entertainment. Once again, it hurts my brain that some bullshit "reality" TV show that was taped 6 months ago somehow has repercussions here on our wrestling show in the present day.

I'm all for a reasonable suspension of disbelief, but asking fans to buy that would pretty much require them to be functionally retarded.

About 60 seconds into the match, Kidd gets up on the apron at random, while Paige is in charge. The distraction allows Brie to hit a quick schoolgirl roll-up.

Your Winner: Brie Bella, via pinfall, in a minute and a half, tops. After the match, Paige went over and slapped Kidd in the face, and Nattie just smiled about it.

Backstage: Bray Wyatt is in his lair, and says that at the Royal Rumble, he will do something unprecedented. Some will laugh, some will cry, but none will be immune to his rage. "So please, I implore you.... RUN."

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Hall of Fame: after two hours of pretending otherwise, they play the video package that makes Randy Savage's induction into the Hall of Fame official. They also reveal that Hulk Hogan will be the one to do Macho Man's induction speech.

THE ASCENSION vs. TWO GUYS

This time, their pre-match delusions take the form of a pre-tape insert promo in which they name drop the Road Warriors and Demolition, rather than a live in-ring one.

Otherwise, we're all adults here, so let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your Winners: the Ascension, via pinfall, in 2 minutes. Thrilling. I think Tackling Dummy #1 did all the work, and Tackling Dummy #2 never even got off the apron.

Backstage: the shrink is on the couch, weeping, and Dean Ambrose is playing the psychologist, having used his crazy to drive the doctor crazy. Ambrose assures him it's alright, and everything he's revealed is perfectly normal and healthy. He just needs the guy to sign this one last document (presumably, the one giving Ambrose a clean bill of health), and they can call it a night.

So the guy signs off. At which point, Ambrose decides to reverse course, telling the guy that he's a worthless heap of cow dung, and it's VERY weird that he sits down to pee. Ha? The free association bit was way funnier.

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RYBACK, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Rusev and Lana are standing in the ring, and Lana says that Rusev was so totally excited to defend the US Title against Ryback, but then he had to go and get canned. It's such a shame, but it's all John Cena's fault for being such a selfish jerk.

Lana suggests that Ryback must be wery wery sad, sitting at home, trying to get a new job, like maybe at a deli, or some other place he mentioned in his stupid story.

Then Rusev takes the mic and says that Ryback deserved what he got, and it's just too bad that he won't get a chance to kick Ryback's ass, and personally eliminate him from the Royal Rumble, en route to certain victory.

Enter Dean Ambrose, who is also in the Royal Rumble now that he's passed his psych evaluation. Rusev stands in for a moment, but as soon as Ambrose rips off a dropkick, sending Rusev over the top rope. So Rusev gets out of dodge.

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DEAN AMBROSE vs. RUSEV (w/ Lana)

So apparently Rusev's dodge-out-getting was short-circuited when an order came down during the break that we'd have us an improptu match. Seems Steph wants to mete out a little punishment after Ambrose worked around her little ploy to keep him out of the Rumble.

Rusev is firmly in control, and is focusing on Ambrose's left knee. After a few minutes Ambrose fires up, after dodging Rusev big savate kick, he hits the Rebound Clothesline, and then his top rope standing elbow.

That got him a near fall, but it also took a lot out of Ambrose, so he couldn't follow up. Rusev just chopblocked the bad knee, and continued the assault. When Ambrose couldn't get to his feet, the ref actually calls for the bell.

Your Winner: Rusev, via Ref Stoppage, in about 4 minutes of televised action. Nowhere near the outstanding match they had a few weeks ago on SD. Just a super abbreviated bit of action with a cheap-ass finish. But I guess it serves the purpose of making Rusev look like a bad-ass, while making it clear that Ambrose is one tough SOB who was willing to keep fighting even if on one leg.

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MAIN EVENT CONTRACT SIGNING

Triple H and Stephanie are in the ring, as we return. Steph works in a quick plug for the WWE Network (NINE NINETY NINE!), and then calls out the three men competing for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble.

Seth Rollins (with the Stooges) comes out first. Then John Cena. And finally, the champ, Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman).

When all parties are assembled, Paul Heyman grabs a mic, and says that he wishes he'd thought of it, but the lone true architect of the plan that resulted in the return of the Authority was Seth Rollins. But make no mistake, Seth Rollins ran the idea past Paul Heyman, and Paul Heyman approved of it.

Because anything that's good for the Authority would be bad for John Cena. And anything that's bad for John Cena is good for Brock Lesnar. Rollins tries to sneak in a quick "Yeah, it was a pretty awesome plan, if I do say so myself." But Heyman cuts him off with a threat, "But make no mistake, at the Royal Rumble will destroy ANYONE who gets in his way."

Rollins is all "What, so you're pissed at me now?" And sure enough, Paul Heyman isn't happy, because with Rollins in the match, his client does not have to be beaten to lose the title.

Rollins congratulates him on knowing the rules to every Triple Threat Match ever... but c'mon, Paul, you just spelled out all Brock's credentials earlier in the night; can't he handle a little triple threat match? Ooooooooohhhhh snap! Rollins says Brock better take notice of HIS (Rollins') credentials, because whether it's Plan A (gesturing, Broadly, to the contract) or Plan B (gesturing, even more Broadly, to his MitB Briefcase), he will be the WWE Champion at the Royal Rumble.

As Rollins signs the contract, Lesnar takes a mic and says that he's conquered HHH, and he's conquered John Cena, so Seth Rollins better believe he's about to get conquered, too.

Cena's turn to talk: he says that maybe Lesnar doesn't have to get pinned to lose the title at the Rumble. But he WILL be pinned. Because Cena wants to prove he's better than Lesnar. So Cena proposes that they work together to kick ROllins' ass, and then Cena will kick Brock's.

Cena signs the contract.

It's up to Brock to finalize the deal. With a confident smirk on his face, he signs, too.

Then Rollins wants the last word... he once again promises to kick Cena's ass. That is, if Cena even makes it to the Rumble. All of a sudden, Rollins bum rushes Cena, and the two start trading punches.

Lesnar saunters over, and snaps off a German suplex on Cena. Then one for Rollins. Then Brock takes a moment to taunt the fans, and Cena springs to his feet and F-Us Lesnar through the contract signing table (ahhhhh, the poor contract signing table; it never stood a chance).

Then, for some reason, Cena decided to turn to taunt HHH. And that allowed Rollins to recover and wallop Cena with the MitB briefcase. Then, Rollins turns, and sees Lesnar just barely getting back on his hands and knees... so he steps back, and hits a Curb Stomp.

The response to that was pretty cool. Equal parts oooohs and aahhhhhs that Rollins might have just made a HUGE mistake by angering the Beast, but also plenty of boos that indicate they kinda want to see that mistake reach its logical conclusion when Lesnar kicks Rollins' ass at the Rumble.

After an awkward hard sell for the Randy Savage documentary playing on the WWE Network immediately after RAW, we cut back to the ring, where Cena and Lesnar are both down and out. Meantime, Seth Rollins is celebrating up on the stage as we fade to black...

And so ends the show. As main event non-matches go, that was actually a very strong finish (awkward WWE Network ad, aside)... not only did Rollins work in the possibility that the title match might continue AFTER the match (because of his MitB Briefcase), but that fact that he was the one standing tall was the exact perfect play.

It lends Rollins some credibility, but it also gives the fans permission to treat Lesnar as a tweener. The cheers Brock has gotten against Cena have been significant, but now, they'll fit in better with WWE's preferred narrative, because EVERYBODY can agree that Seth Rollins is a weasely little douche who should get his ass kicked. The chemistry and dynamic among the three should be outstanding at the Rumble, and the results should be electric.

Also including the Rollins/Cena match, and Heyman's mid-show in-ring promo, and I think RAW did an excellent job of promoting the Triple Threat WWE Title Match.

Sadly, the only other remotely worthwhile segment was Daniel Bryan's promo, which lit up the live crowd, and proved he's every bit as viable a Rumble winner as he was last year. Then again, last year, WWE was tone deaf to the point that Bryan wasn't even included in the Rumble, and the fans had to force WWE's hand, requiring them to change plans, mid-stream, to put Bryan into the WWE Title picture. So who knows if they're paying attention this year, when the fans are still keen on Bryan, and Reigns is still clearly a work in progress...

But after that, there was absolutely zero in-ring action of any value (honestly, Rollins/Cena was decent, and even then, it was more as a story than as a match; then, nothing else even came close to surpassing that rather low bar), and no well-executed story elements. Just a bunch of forgettable water treading.

OK, the one Ambrose segment was funny. But that's not exactly something to hang your hat on. A 30 second comedy skit is a nice complementary piece on a good show, but it's not -- in and of itself -- something that makes a show good.

Even if I were to give some sort of points for the Ambrose skit, that's more than counter balanced by how utterly stupid the whole opening segment was, with Cena acting like winning the title and then going home was any kind of threat, when that's exactly what Brock Lesnar has done for the last six months. I know I said last week that whatever plot device was used to bring back Ziggler/Ryback/Rowan would be lame, but not even I would have guessed it could be that awful. We'll just have to wait and see what brave new brand of dumb WWE unleashes next Monday, since one way or another, those three will be back for the Rumble.

So put it all together, and WWE gets points for servicing the Lesnar/Cena/Rollins story, but not for much of anything else. I can't, in good conscience, go any higher than a grade of C-plus.

I'll be back here in 7 days for "RAW Reunion," which should hopefully benefit from Stunt Casting to be a more entertaining top-to-bottom effort. And perhaps, it will even feature me reporting live and in person from Dallas... that one's still up in the air at this point.

Regardless, I'll see you then, kids....

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.