OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Roman Didn't Fall in a Day
February 2, 1015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Just out of curiosity: has anyone else out there made the mistake of thinking, "Hey, that girl on the AT&T commercials is way more cute than Progressive Flo, and even if she's not always stuffing meat in her face like Wendy, I still can't stop thinking that something about her countenance is so pleasing that I must know more about her?"

Because I did that, and I googled.

So now I've made the huge mistake of finding out that she's actually a comedian with perhaps the greatest Secret Rack in show business. Not since Pam From The Office have I been so pleasantly shocked when a woman I already face-lusted turned out to have insane boobage which was being kept on the down-low. I'm not even a Boob Guy, but for some reason, discovering this secret surplus makes me way tinglier than the more straight-forward rack.

It's quite possible that none of this would have mattered, if not for the fact that she's actually quite funny and personable. Some top-heavy actress who scored that commercial, and I'd probably lose interest. But nah, this is a girl who needs to get on At Midnight, pronto.

Get on the google, and see if y'all agree with me on this one. If so, I'm right. If not, hey, my chances of having a drink with her go up a massive 0.00000000000000000067% if you're not competition.

And since that's not why you're here, here's what happened on that wrestling show you were wondering about:

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those With ADD: OO does not recap recaps.

Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc., and we're live in Denver, CO, where we're wasting no time, because Triple H and Stephanie are on their way to the ring to make an allegedly earth-shattering announcement. A camera backstage shows the entire roster assembled around monitors, watching intently.

THE TWO SEGMENT OPENING PROMO

But before the announcement, Stephanie rubs in last night's Patriots Super Bowl win, because she and Hunter are such Patriots fans. They get booed, and they make a quick jokey digression, saying they sure hope the NFL can survive all the fan outrage, and the "cancel NFL Network" hashtag. Tee hee?

But that's the ham-fisted segue back to WWE's own controversy, which was the end of the Royal Rumble match. To fans, the controversy is that WWE shoved Roman Reigns down our throats when he's still a year away from being a compelling WrestleMania headliner. But that's not HHH's story, he says the controversy is The Rock showing up to interfere in the match.

The Rock may be a legend, but he's not a current WWE Superstar, so he has no business showing up and affecting the outcome of WWE matches. HHH says this isn't the first time this has happened... some guy shows up backstage because he's got a name, and then he pops out to cause problems in the ring... yep, that happened with Sting, too.

Twice.

But HHH says he'll settle the deal with Sting. He's called Sting to show up at the Fast Lane PPV, and he will confront him in the middle of the ring. Steph turns this into a plug for the WWE Network (NINE NINETY NINE, but for new subscibers, it's ZERO ZEROTY ZERO for February).

Then they bring it back around to Roman Reigns, and it is declared that Reigns will go down in the record books as the 2015 Royal Rumble winner. But because of the controversial ending, they aren't so sure that he should still receive the ticket to WrestleMania's main event.

All of a sudden, Reigns music hits, and he storms to the ring... he's all "The hell? I went out there and won, and you're seriously gonna take that away from me?" Reigns and HHH are going nose-to-prodigious-nose, but Stephanie tries to cool things down by saying this is all in the discussion phase. They haven't officially decided anything yet. They just want to leave their options open.

Then, she sneaks in a subtle dig, saying Reigns should be relieved if they let him out of the match, because Brock Lesnar.

"Flight of the Valkyries" hits, and Daniel Bryan joins the party, telling Reigns, "Hey, I sympathize with you." But then he reminds us that he was stripped of the WWE Title, and never got his contractually obligated rematch. So if the Authority are looking over their options, they damned sure better remember he's in line for a match.

To provide another viewpoint, Seth Rollins' music hits, and he and the New Stooges head to the ring. But instead of hearing from Rollins, right away, we take an awkward break for...

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Back, and Rollins has politely waited to speak. He starts in by saying Daniel Bryan is crazy if he wants into the title picture, because Brock Lesnar would kill him. Then, he turns to Reigns, and says the Rock's interference is the only reason he won the Rumble, so he doesn't deserve to headline WrestleMania.

Rollins, predictably, declares that he, and he alone, is a deserving challenger.

Triple H pulls Stephanie aside for a bit of whispering, and then announces that they're calling an audible... they hadn't planned on this, but they now think that all three men have a valid claim to a title shot. So tonight, Bryan will face Rollins, and the winner will go onto Fast Lane, to face Reigns, with the WM31 #1 Contendership on the line.

Reigns is pissed, and the announcers claim he's being robbed, but the fans definitely approve.

Bryan says he knows it's not fair, but after he beats Rollins, he knows that he and Reigns will tear the house down, and show the fans who REALLY deserves to headline WM. Rollins chimes in with a belief that the reason Reigns is so upset is because he's terrified of facing Rollins, after Rollins destroys Bryan.

The Authority also egg him on, saying that instead of a hurdle, Reigns should view this as an opportunity... and opportunity to prove himself to the fans and erase all those boos. Reigns doesn't actually believe that line of BS, but declare, "Screw it, fine, we'll do it your way."

Triple H excuses Bryan and Rollins, but tells Roman Reigns to stick around, because he's got a match. It's against Big Show, and it's next...

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ROMAN REIGNS vs. BIG SHOW

We join the match in progress, and Big Show is dominating, thanks to some outside the ring shenanigans during the break. Seth Rollins and the Stooges have hung around, it seems.

As Big Show tried to pull Reigns back into the ring, Reigns reached up and clotheslined Show's neck on the top rope. He hit a big flurry of moves -- to 80/20 cheers/boos -- culminating in the Leaping APron Dropkick Thingie.

Reigns set up for the Superman Punch. But Jamie and Joey ran interference, and Big Show speared Reigns. Show went for the Chokeslam, but Reigns powered out, ducked a clothesline, and hit the Superman Punch.

But before he could finish things off, J&J ran more interference, distracting the ref, so that Rollins could get up on the apron and wallop Reigns with the MitB Briefcase.

One chokeslam, and it's done.

Your Winner: Big Show, via pinfall, in who knows. Only about 5 minutes of match were aired, but it was joined in progress. Pretty simple stuff, but that's par for the course with Reigns, whose one-dimensionality is part of the reason why fans don't exactly view him as a guy who can do a 25 minute WM main event. The extracurriculars at the end did add a little bit of sizzle, I guess.

Backstage: Triple H and Stephanie reveal that their plan worked exactly as they'd hoped. They just vaguely mentioned that they MIGHT pull Reigns from WrestleMania, and boom, there's Bryan, just like they predicted. And now, the wheels are in motion. Seth Rollins beats Bryan tonight, then beats Reigns at Fast Lane, and then, the Authority's golden boy headlines WrestleMania.

And the best part is: Reigns agreed to it, because the Authority wouldn't actually have had the power to pull him from WM. So of course, revealing that in front of a cameraman and millions of viewers will ensure that secret remains safe until after completion of the plan. So dumb.

But at the end of the day, it won't matter. I'm rather confident that there's somebody who was very upset with Rollins being the Authority's go-to guy who will be returning to throw a wrinkle into the plan. *cough*mantard*cough*

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DEAN AMBROSE vs. CURTIS AXEL (Not a Match)

On his way to the ring, Axel says he was never eliminated from the Royal Rumble, because of that sneak attack by Erick Rowan, so the way he sees it, HE should be the one who goes to WrestleMania to face Brock Lesnar. He even makes the googly eyes at the WM logo.

But then, Dean Ambrose's music hits, and he storms to the ring, and throws Axel out over the top. "There, now you're eliminated."

He proceeds to remind us of his little trek to Titan Tower last Monday, and he saw all those pretty pictures on the walls, but there were no pictures of him. He wants to change that.

So the way Dean sees it, he pinned Wade Barrett in a non-title match, so he's in line for an IC Title match. And he's gonna win it, and his face is gonna look great plastered all over Titan Tower.

Then Curtis Axel attacks from behind and gets in a few shots before Ambrose does the rebound clothesline, and hits Dirty Deeds. It wasn't a match, but still: Ambrose wins.

Black History Month: WWE honors Ernie Ladd.

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GOLDUST & STARDUST vs. THE ASCENSION

The Dust Brothers lost to the Ascension on Thursday, due to hijinx by Stardust. So they're looking for revenge. When Stardust again gets his ass handed to him, Goldust basically tags himself in to get down to business.

After about 30 seconds of offense, Goldust is hit by the Fall of Man.

Your Winners: the Ascension, via pinfall, in 2 minutes flat. So this time, Goldust takes the fall, and it's Stardust who acts disappointed in him. Turnabout is fair play... and it looks like we've now got two tag teams on the brink of breaking up.

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Backstage: Stardust is pacing and muttering to himself. Goldust shows up and wants him to calm down... he's not getting through, so he finally calls him "Cody." Which freezes Stardust, and he stares bullets at his brother, saying "Don't. Call. Me. Cody." Then he hissed and stormed off.

A LITTLE MID-SHOW PLACESETTING

John Cena hits the ring. He's got a US Title Match against Rusev coming up at Fast Lane, but tonight, he's just here to talk.

He opens by blatantly plugging HHH appearing on Stone Cold Steve Austin's podcast, immediately after RAW, on the WWE Network (ZERO ZEROTY ZERO!). And he says he hopes the fans are sending in lots of questions, because HHH will be wearing his dancing shoes and dancing around the truth, so we need to keep hammering away until he has an accidental moment of honesty.

He says HHH is making WWE over in his own image, and it's starting with Seth Rollins being branded "The Future" and having everything handed to him on a silver platter. And it's not gonna stop. Because HHH has taken over NXT, turned it into his own pet project, and now he has an entire roster of guys shaped by HHH, who will be loyal to him, do his bidding, and try to take Cena's spot.

It's never gonna end, but Cena wants us to know that he's never gonna stop fighting. Love him or hate him, he wants us to know he won't let WWE become the plaything of one man, because it belongs to all of us.

And on top of that, it's been proven that this is a fight that CAN be won. The Authority isn't unstoppable, and that's because he's not the only one in the fight... you gotta give it up for Sting. But also, his teammates back at the Survivor Series, once again gainfully employed: Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, and Erick Rowan.

All three guys enter (to Ryback's music, even though he's only the second most popular guy of the three), and a lovefest is about to ensue. BUt Stephanie pops up on the Tron. "I really hate to interrupt this lit....." And then Dolph cuts her off with, "But you're going to. We get it. Classic Steph."

Steph says that's cute, but those three have had it easy for the past month, being all fired and having Cena and Sting fight their fights for them. So tonight, all three will fight for themselves.

Ziggler will face Bray Wyatt. Rowan will face Rusev. And Ryback will face Luke Harper. And that one is happening RIGHT NOW.

By which we mean, after these....

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RYBACK vs. LUKE HARPER

Unlike before, they wait till we return to start the match. It immediately breaks into Feats of Slobberknockery, and Ryback wins with an amazing delayed, one-arm suplex. He gets a near fall with his second rope splash. But then he goes for a Meathook, Harper ducks under, and turns it into an impressive drop kick.

The heel beatdown is on.

It lasts for a couple minutes, and is pretty methodical (read: boring). Ryback starts his fire up by ducking a clothesline and coming back with a Thesz Press. Ryback gets another near fall off another splash, but Harper avoids a powerslam by countering into a sidewalk slam.

But then Ryback dodges a charge, and Harper crotches himself on the top rope. Spinebuster by Ryback, and he sets up for the Meathook. Harper greets him with a boot to the face.

A bit of double-reversey, and Ryback hits the Meathook. Shellshock, and it's over.

Your Winner: Ryback, via pinfall, in about 6 minutes. A little slow in the middle, but every now and again, a pure slobberknocker can be fun, and this had enough hard-hitting shows of power to be fairly enjoyable.

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JIMMY USO (w/ Jey and Naomi) vs. CESARO (w/ Tyson Kidd and Natalya)

This is the flip-flop of the singles match on Thursday, and it's looking more and more like we've got new #1 contenders brewing. Also, it has something to do about somebody going on a double date on That Which OO DOes Not Acknowledge As Valid Entertainment, but I'll spare you the stupidity.

Quick back and forth start, but after Jimmy hits a big plancha, Cesaro executes a variant of the cat-and-mouse-role-reversal on their way back into the ring.

Mini-beatdown leads to a Giant Swing (only about 5 or 6 rotations). Double stomp. Near fall. Double underhook powerbomb. Near fall.

But Jimmy dodges a corner charge, and follows up with a quick twisting moonsault. Then the match spills outside, where Kidd provides a minor distraction. Cesaro is able to turn the tables by, uhhh, slamming Uso into the announce table.

But then Cesaro says something mean to Nattie which we'll just ignore, because TWOODNAAVE. Also, because that's one hell of a dress Nattie's rocking, and how a heterosexual male could think anything but happy thoughts in her presence elude me. Still, the diversion was enough to swing things back in Jimmy's favor.

But when Jimmy went up top for the Superfly Splash, Cesaro jumped up off the mat and caught him in mid-air with a wicked Elevation Uppercut.

Your Winner: Cesaro, via pinfall, in 5 minutes. Ultra-time-compressed, but I guess they crammed some pretty nice spots in there. It's hard to be all that excited by the match, but it got its story elements across (Cesaro and Kidd emerging as #1 contenders).

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Backstage: Damien Sandow is preparing a lovely fruit plate at catering, but we pull back to reveal Miz giving him directions. Miz wants a VERY SPECIFIC number of blueberries, dammit.

Then, a guy walks up and says he'd like an autograph. Miz is willing to comply. But the guy wants Sandow's autograph. Sandow enthusiastically agrees... but when he hands it back to the guy, Miz takes it away and crumples it up.

Miz proceeds to deliver a scathing monologue about how we've all seen this story before: a kind benefactor reaches out to a lowly nothing, and it goes to the lowly nothing's head, and he starts to think HE is the star. But he's not. Sandow is mirroring all this, and Miz tells him to stop and just listen.

So Sandow does. Miz reveals that Sandow owes everything to him, but Miz doesn't think he appreciates that, and so on and so forth, Sandow is the worst stunt double ever, and he's fired.

But Miz is a kind soul. So he'll give Sandow a new job: he can be Miz's personal assistant. Sandow does not look pleased, but also does not speak out. He remains silent as Miz reveals the specific instructions for how to prepare his smoothie before his big match tonight against Sin Cara.

Elsewhere Backstage: John Cena is hanging out in his lockerroom, and in walks Erick Rowan. He says all his life, he's been treated like an animal, so when Cena went to bat for him, it was the first time he felt like a human being. In exchange, Rowan wants to work on becoming an even better human being: kind, compassionate, even generous. So tonight, when he faces Rusev, he wants to do something that might be a help to Cena. He wants to destroy him.

Cena appreciates the sentiment, but just warns Rowan that Rusev is dangerous, and he should just focus on protecting himself and winning the match. Rowan nods and walks off.

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. BRAY WYATT

Old school back and forth feeling out process, leading the crowd to engage in a little dueling "Let's Go Ziggler"/"Let's Go Wyatt" chanting, which is 60/40 in favor of Ziggler. To be fair, I think some fans may have been chanting both. I know I would have been.

When Ziggler finally asserts himself, Wyatt decides to dive out of the ring. That got him near unanimous boos. But after milking the chickenshittery for a moment or two, Ziggler followed, and Bray executed the textbook cat-and-mouse role reversal, and settled in for a heel beatdown.

Ziggler finally got a hope spot about 4 minutes in, but Bray put an end to that by suplexing Ziggler from the apron to the floor. Ouch.

That leads to a break in the action, which leads to a break for...

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Back, and Bray's working a chinlock. The Chinlock, the officially sanctioned "Resthold to Kill Time During an Ad Break" since Randy Orton started abusing it in 2004.

Dolph finally escapes, then dodges a corner charge. Wyatt eats the ringpost, but Ziggler cannot follow up in timely fashion. The beatdown continues.

Bray goes for a senton, and Ziggler rolls out of the way. Both men down, ref applies a double count.

Ziggler is first to his feet at 7, and hits a few moves, getting a near fall off an elbow drop. But then Wyatt cutsh im down with a stiff-ass clothesline. Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail, but Ziggler counters it into an implant DDT.

Ziggler tries for a Fameasser, but whiffs. Wyatt with an Avalanche Splash. Wyatt stalks, for Sister Abigail, but Ziggler sees it coming, and after a rapidfire triple-reversey, Wyatt runs into a superkick to the gut. Only gets a two.

Ziggler can't follow up, so both men struggle to their feet at the same time. Ziggler wins the back and forth punches, and hits the Fameasser, but Wyatt only half sells it, and when Ziggler turns back around, he walks right into a Sister Abigail.

Your Winner: Bray Wyatt, via pinfall, in 12 minutes. Pretty good stuff. Not youtube-worthy, but damned solid. With Wyatt's recent promos clearly foreshadowing a WM match against the Undertaker, him winning makes all the sense in the world, too.

Backstage: Seth Rollins walks in on the Authority, and says he thought the plan was for HIM to go to WrestleMania, and then this whole Daniel Bryan thing.... Steph assures him it's all part of the plan, just to appease the fans. Plus, it's a sign of the confidence they have in Seth. Just go out there and do what they know he can do, and the plan is gonna work out fine.

Then, HHH goes and wrecks everything by saying, "Don't be like Randy Orton. We gave him every opportunity, and he never followed through." Telegraph much, dimwits?

But Rollins promises he won't Orton it up, he's gonna Curb Stomp Daniel Bryan into next week, and then beat Roman Reigns, next stop WrestleMania. Good luck with that, kid.

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PAIGE vs. ALICIA FOX

The Bellas are sitting in on guest commentary, because Paige is now the #1 Contender to Nikki's title, and will get her shot at Fast Lane. Nattie who? Boo.

The match, technically, happened, but the camera spent more time on the Bellas talking about the title match. Then Paige won on a surprise schoolgirl roll-up.

Your Winner: Paige, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

After the Match: Alicia immediately sneak attacked Paige, and then the Bellas jumped into the ring with spray paint, and coated Paige's midrift. The announcers said it was spray-tan, but it wasn't; it was black. Probably because somebody decided real spray tan wouldn't "read" so they went with more contrast. But now, it "reads" even worse.

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SIN CARA vs. MIZ (w/ Damien Sandow)

Sandow immediately tries to shadow/mirror Miz, and Miz cuts him off, and tells him to stop and follow him, demurely, from a safe/assistant-y distance.

Also: insert a joke about Miz arguing with his stunt double before WRESTLING a stunt double here. Because Hunico.

Actually, strike that. Because JBL is making all kinds of secret in-jokes about guys who just suddenly start dressing and acting like somebody more famous, making a career of it. Jokes made.

Miz settles in on offense, but when he goes up to the top rope, Sandow mirrors him, and gets a HUGE cheer for doing so. So Miz hits pause, and goes over to chastise Sandow, telling him to stop and just stand there.

Sandow immediately turns into a statue, although he is clearly smiling when the crowd chants "We Want Mizdow."

Miz retains control for a bit, but when Sandow starts turning to acknowledge the cheers, Miz starts getting pissy.

Miz decides to confront Sandow about this, and as a result, Sin Cara is able to sneak up from behind and get a quick roll-up win. Sandow remains a statue while this happens.

Your Winner: Sin Cara, via pinfall, in 4 minutes. Match wasn't much, action-wise, but it was fun, story-wise. Afterwards, Miz was gonna deliver a tongue-lashing to Sandow, but we got the Pregnant Belly Freeze Frame...

Backstage: Bray Wyatt is in his lair, and has a few words. He says he is known by many names, but he'd like it if "you" just call him Bray. At first, I took it as him addressing US, the fans, but immediately, he took it another direction. He is talking to a very specific single person. "I've been watching you for a long time. They used to fear you. But look at you now. All that fear turned into love. Even admiration. But me? I'm gonna be different. I'm going to be the new face of fear. I know you're listening. [turns upside down, Exorcist-style] FIND. ME."

So yeah: Undertaker's doing WM, afterall. I wonder if Bray's the right guy. A LOT of fans are gonna wanna cheer him, especially if Taker's any more broken down than he was last year. They cheered Bray against Ziggler, imagine how bad it could get if Taker's completely unable to deliver the goods, work-wise. We'll see, though...

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ERICK ROWAN vs. RUSEV (w/ Lana) (Non-Title Match) (Also, Not a Match)

Rusev jumpstarted things by attacking Rowan in the aisle. As a result, the ref did not call for the bell. Rusev just keeps assaulting Rowan, despite the lack of officially sanctioned action.

The narrative from the announcers is that Rusev saw the backstage bit where Rowan promised to do something special to help Cena, and now, he's sending a message to Cena by destroying his little buddy.

Rusev finally decides to lock in the Camel Clutch, and won't let go until Lana calls him off. You know, I've made it a running joke that Cena never really shows up to save his "friends," which is a giant dick move.... but in this case, he KNEW Rowan was going out there to help him, and he STILL doesn't show up. "Keep yer defense up, Rusev is tough, I won't even bother watching." What an asshole.

Is anyone proofreading this shit? If Rowan doesn't beat the shit out of Cena next week, there's no excuse for this level of stupidity.

With Lana in the ring, Rusev lets go, and Lana shoots it to a promotional video of Rusev's greatest hits.

Then we cut back to the center of the ring, and Rusev calls for the Russian Flag Unfurling.... but something malfunctions, and it only half unfurls. HA! It wasn't planned, but Rusev and Lana's reactions were pitch perfect indignation.

Backstage: Roman Reigns is seething. In walks Daniel Bryan. He says, "Man, what Seth did to you earlier, that was terrible." Reigns says, "Don't worry, I don't get mad, I get even." Bryan reads this as a subtle hint that Reigns wants to face Rollins at Fast Lane, so he reminds Reigns that there's still a little match coming up next, and at Fast Lane, Reigns will be facing HIM.

Reigns stands up and says, "Is that a threat?" Bryan says it's not. Reigns says it doesn't matter who he faces at Fast Lane, because he's gonna win at Fast Lane, and he doesn't care what the fans want or what Bryan wants, because HE is going to WrestleMania. And then, he tags it, "Now, get out of my lockerroom." Up until that last line, it wasn't a heel promo. ANd then, it was. Hmmmm....

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DANIEL BRYAN vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/ the New Stooges)

Kicking this off at roughly 9:45 (eastern), so plenty of time for a good ol' good one.

Out of the gate, Bryan IMMEDIATELY targets Rollins' left arm/shoulder. About 2 minutes in, Bryan wows the crowd with a double-arm underhook suplex directly into an armbar on the bad arm. Rollins is able to escape, but the damage is being done, in anticipation of the YES! Lock on that same arm.

After a bit more back and forth, Bryan works a hammerlock, but Rollins counters and sends Bryan sending out over the top rope. Rollins occupies the ref, while Jamie and Joey strike, driving Bryan's head into the barricade.

Rollins follows up with a suicide dive, once again driving Bryan's back and SURGICALLY REPAIRED~! neck into the barricade. Both men down, so we break for...

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Back, and Rollins is still in charge. As an added bonus, Big Show has materialized at ringside, clearly part of the Authority's plan.

When Rollins misses a corner charge, Bryan gets a significant hope spot, where the fans can play a bit of YAY!/BOO!, and it should be noted that there is a very small minority of fans who are vocally in support of Rollins.

Good for him, but seriously, wankers, the best thing you can do for Seth's career at this point is boo him. This isn't a deal where there's a legit chance for a crossover/mainstream/real normal fan change of heart happening in time for WrestleMania.

Beatdown continues for a bit, but leads to a double clothesline spot, with both men down. But Bryan gets up first, and lays in with YES! Kicks. The comeback is on.

He even hits the super duper run-up YES! Kick that rarely hits. It only gets a 2 count.

BUt then, Bryan sets up for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Rollins turns it into a Super Powerbomb. Only gets a 2.

Both men down, both men up. They trade punches, and Bryan gets the better of it. J&J try to interfere, but Bryan chucks them off the apron to the floor, then throws Rollins out on top of them.

Flying Goat Dive onto all three.

Bryan goes out to retrieve Rollins, and throws him back into the ring. But when he goes up top, Rollins catches him and crotches him on the top turnbuckle.

Rollins joins him up top, but Bryan flips out and returns the favor, crotching Rollins, and then hitting a wicked belly-to-back superplex.

It only gets a 2, but it also gets a "THIS IS AWESEOME" chant.

So Bryan gets lined up for the Aberdeen Facebuster knee... but he runs in, and Rollins intercepts him and hoistshim up for the running Turnbuckle Bomb (on the SURGICALLY REPAIRED~! neck, to boot). But it only gets a two count.

ROllins cannot believe it, and sells the frustration, while another "THIS IS AWESOME" chant breaks out.

When Rollins finally makes an approach to Bryan, he reaches down to hoist him up, only to be dragged down, and into a YES! Lock. Rollins gets a rope break, but only thanks to Big Show yanking him over, while the ref's vision was blocked.

Show and Rollins started having a little confab, which was quickly broken up by Roman Reigns running out to spear Big Show. J&J try to intervene. Mercury eats a spear.

Rollins tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Bryan fights him off. When Noble tries to get involved, he gets a Superman Punch. That leaves Bryan vs. Rollins alone in the ring. Aberdeen Facebuster, and it's all over.

Your Winner: Daniel Bryan, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. So OK, this one is maybe youtube-worthy. Right on the cusp. Excellent final few minutes, and not too shabby till then. And it's actually made all the better by the fact that the obvious "surprise" run-in didn't happen. I'll give it up to WWE: for once, their tendancy towards shitty storytelling WASN'T a telegraph, it was a Red Herring. Even a broken clock is right twice a year. Or something like that.

Backstage: Renee Young wants a few comments from HHH about Bryan circumventing his Big Plan. HHH says he will answer any and all questions. But not now. Only on Stone Cold's podcast (next, right now, on the WWE Network!).

Back in the Ring: Bryan is celebrating, and grabs a mic to tell the fans that he loves this, and for the second year in a row, he is going to find his way into the main event of WrestleMania, all thanks to them. YES! YES! YES! And on that note, we fade to black...

And so ends the show. I ended well, I think. I don't have any idea what WWE intends to do with Bryan vs. Reigns. Who wins? Is there a heel turn involved? I dunno, but I'm suddenly way more invested in the Road to WrestleMania than I was a week ago.

And sure, WWE could fuck it all up in 3 weeks, but the fact is: they figured out a way to buy themselves those three weeks. That's not nothing. The fact that they did it without the seemingly inevitable Orton run-in actually renders it into SOMEthing.

So yeah, good finish. Rest of the show had its moments, too. Ziggler/Wyatt was good-not-great, and I was kind of a sucker for the Miz/Sandow stuff. I still loathe the fact that WWE is somehow predicating any part of its wrestling show on a suck-ass "reality" TV show on the E "Network," and I also thought the opening half hour could have been structured a bit different to be less awkward (with respect to commercial breaks), but the good still outweighed the bad.

I could probably expound a bit more, but I've entered yet ANOTHER new phase of my Texas Relocation, as my brother got transferred over to Baylor's Rehab Hospital in Dallas. It's a GREAT place for him to be (it's top 10 in terms of rehab facilities, nationally, and sadly, he needs some big time help; his brain injury has become quite worrisome), but instead of him being less than a mile away, it's now a 50-minute commute (each way) to be with him, which has added even more frazzledness to my mindset at the end of the day.

I need to cut this short and decompress for a bit.

We'll grade the show a solid B. I'll see you again next Monday night, kids...

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.