OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Orton Gets Crafty?
February 23, 1015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

So I did end up taking the day off from checking on my brother at the hospital... I woke up to a quarter inch of solid ice on the roads and sidewalks (and my windshield), and pretty much everything in the metroplex that wasn't City of Fort Worth or City of Dallas was closed.

I don't feel too guilty about that. This was a real weather issue. But I still want to make it clear that the awfulness of Texas drivers was still the biggest consideration.

But after my first lazy day of doing nothing since I got to Fort Worth 2 months ago, suddenly, things are looking really busy. My late night shows are back after a week off, and I still have to watch Better Call Saul on DVR before I get to bed, and return to duty tomorrow morning.

So no PreRamble for you! Here's what happened on the just-completed edition of RAW:

Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc, and we're live in Nashville, TN. Just a cursory welcome from Cole & The Gang, because Randy Orton is already on his way to the ring to kick things off.

LET BYGONES BE BYGONES THEATRE

And he's not here to wrestle. He's here to talk. D'oh, that's never a good thing.

He has a momentary display of self-awareness, as he says he's not exactly the kind of guy who should be delivering 20 minute promos... but he does have something he has to get off his chest.

With the help of a video recap package up on the Tron, he reminds us he's been out of action for 4 months, and Seth Rollins is the reason why. So tonight begins a new chapter in Orton's career, and it's the one where he kicks Seth Rollins' ass.

So he's done talking, he wants Seth Rollins out here right now. Hey, it wasn't particularly interesting or clever, but it was short and to the point, and not flubbed. That makes this a stellar promo by Orton Standards!

But instead of Rollins, Orton gets the Authority: Triple H, Steph, Big Show, and Kane.

Steph decides to talk first. She says Orton might have gotten the better of the Authority last night, but that's fine by her. Because that vicious, devil-may-care predator is the Randy Orton the Authority has been missing. They're just happy he's back. So can we please get back together, Randy?

Orton's having none of it, but Steph persists, and even puts out her hand. Orton, "That's real tempting. But I'd rather kick some ass than kiss some ass." OK, there's the old Randall. What a dipshit line.

Big Show takes a turn, and offers his own recruitment speech based on his own heel turn at Survivor Series. Joining the Authority is a great career move, no two ways about it. The crowd chants "You Sold Out" at Show, then peters out.

So Orton says, "By great career move, you mean sell out, right?" That's our Randall, always three steps behind persons of average intelligence. He really should have just kept his mouth shut, if that was the planned line.

Steph tries again, and says she knows how vicious Orton can be, she's even been on the receiving end of some of his worst. But this is all about business, and if she can put that behind her, why can't Orton put the past behind him, too?

But Orton's stone faced, and not interested in any business meetings. So Steph leaves, flanked by Big Show and Kane. HHH lingers for an extra second, and gives Orton a death stare, but finally leaves, too.

But once they're all at the top of the ramp, Orton says "Whoa whoa whoa. OK, I'll do it. Business meeting. I'll see you back there."

So I'll give it to Orton's brief statement at the top of the segment: it was pretty spot on. But then it got clunky. Not only was it kind of stupid for the Authority to honestly think they could re-recuit Orton (I mean, Orton may be the dumbest man on the roster, but THAT stupid? I don't think so), but the one-liners by Orton were just cringe-inducing.

And now, we have a "business meeting" segment to look forward to. And by "look forward to," I mean, "not possibly give a shit about, because there's only one way it can end."

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WADE BARRETT vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (Non-Title Match)

Apparently, Wade Barrett had some bad news for us, but couldn't wait until the ad break was over. We join him, in progress, talking about how he is still the IC Champion, even if Dean Ambrose stole the physical title belt.

Also, R-Truth is sitting in on guest commentary, because he thinks he's in line for an IC Title shot, since he beat Barrett in a non-title match back on Thursday night. Ambrose is also in the hunt, and my guess is that if Ziggler can score a win tonight, he'll want in, too.

All of a sudden, I'm having visions of a multi-way IC Title Ladder Match at WrestleMania... and they are pleasant visions!

In the ring, Ziggler gets a flashy start, then Barrett fast forwards directly to the mid-match heel beatdown.

About 4 minutes in, Dolph gets a little rally, and hits a big dropkick that sends Barrett flying out over the top rope. Barrett's down, and Ziggler's licking his wounds, so we break for...

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Back, and Ziggler's on fire... he gets his first near fall off a big Implant DDT. Barrett counters a Zig Zag, and hits a HUGE powerbomb for a near fall of his own.

Barrett steps back and winds up the BUllhammer. Dolph Ducks and hits a schoolboy for two. Attempted Fameasser is countered into a sidewalk slam by Barrett. Only two.

Barrett stomps a mudhole, and goes for the Wastelands. Ziggler worms out and hits another roll-up, for 2. Quick back and forth grapple, and the Zig Zag hits.

Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Not too shabby, but certainly too abbreviated to count as much of anything memorable.

After the Match: Dean Ambrose hits the ring, with the IC belt, and taunts Barrett with it. But then Ambrose spies Ziggler, who is making eyes at the belt. Ambrose doesn't really care for that, so he pockets the belt and leaves. So that's definitely four guys in play for a multi-way Mania match... how many more to you add? Unless Truth is thinking of a heel turn, I think you do need to add at least another heel or two, to keep things balanced.

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Backstage: the Authority and Orton are huddling, and joined by Seth Rollins. He doesn't want to talk business with Orton, and can't believe Stephanie has set up a meeting. Steph is all "What are you, sexist? Got a problem with a woman in charge?" Which is an absolute non sequitur. Is WWE actually doing the 1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters experiment? Kane also voices his problems, but Steph swears that if everybody can look past their personal issues, they can wield absolute power. Just think about it. Isn't the chance to dominate WWE worth putting aside personal issues?

She implores Orton and Rollins to shake hands. And they do. Grudgingly. So Steph declares that to showcase this new alliance, she's booking tonight's main event: Rollins and Orton against Bryan and Reigns. And the only question is who'll turn on the other first, Orton or Rollins? Wheee...

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THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs. THE ASCENSION

The PTPs just reunited last week, and they're already getting thrown to the lions. Darren Young starts, and immediately becomes your Face in Peril. Young's only real offense is a scary-looking overhead suplex that almost killed Konnor.

But when the Ascension resort to double-teaming Young, Titus decides to come in to even the score. After the briefest of Pier Four Brawls, Titus and Konnor powder out, and Young hits a schoolboy roll-up on Viktor.

Your Winners: the Prime Time Players, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. Well, that was kind of unexpected.

After the Match: the Ascension kick the PTPs asses, ending with the Fall of Man on Young. Well, that was not at all unexpected.

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EVERYBODY LOVES ROMAN

Roman Reigns heads to the ring (through the crowd), and like Orton before him, he's here to talk, and that may not be playing to his strengths, either. Cole & The Gang try to spin the yarn that Reigns "silenced the critics" with his incredible performance last night.

Hyperbole much, boys? Having his first good singles match is not the same as proving he's worthy of a WM Main Event. And the crowd is, at best, 60/40 in favor of Reigns, so I know I'm not alone in thinking that.

Reigns says it was a hell of a month, a real roller coaster ride, but now, he's leapt over all the hurdles, and he's on his way to WrestleMania. So, to all the doubters, he's got just one thing.....

And he's interrupted by "Flight of the Valkyries." Here comes Daniel Bryan. What's he gonna say? Is he still a doubter, or is he gonna get behind Reigns?

Bryan says he knows Reigns won the Royal Rumble (BOOO!), and he knows Reigns earned that WM title shot (BOOOO!), but for some reason, deep down, he was still like all these people, and he just wanted to BOO~! So now, the fans all go YAY~!

Bryan says he hears all this talk of potential and promise, but it's all secret code for size and good looks, and that's BS. Maybe someday, Reigns will be good at his job, but today, in the here and now, nobody in the company can lace Bryan's boots when it comes to ability. So THAT is why Bryan just really didn't like Roman Reigns.

And with that, maybe 20% of the crowd kinda thinks Bryan is being a dick, and they start grumbling.

But then Bryan says that he got the shot he wanted, and he could have gotten a shot at the title he never lost, if only he beat Reigns at Fast Lane. But he couldn't do it. He gave it everything, and he came up short. He's not ashamed of anything, because he didn't lose the match. Reigns went out there and WON it, by showing more heart than Bryan ever would have guessed he had.

So Bryan tells Reigns to ignore those boos, because, "Sir, I have just one thing to say to you. Congratulations." YAY~! Bryan says he can't wait for tonight's main event, because it's going to be an honor to team with Reigns against the Authority.

And with that, Bryan is off...

But as he's half-way up the ramp, Paul Heyman comes out on the stage and interrupts. Bryan just shoots him a dirty look as he walks past... once Bryan is gone, Heyman heads towards the ring, and says the people may think he's here to cause trouble.

BUt nope, he extends a handshake, and says he just wants to add his own congratulations. Reigns' performance and victory at Fast Lane were outstanding. And Heyman says he's not remotely surprised. His money was on Reigns. And in pretty much any match, against any man in history, Heyman's money would be on Roman Reigns.

Against Bruno Sammartino. Against Hogan or Andre. Against Austin or the Rock. Against HHH or John Cena. Against 29 other guys in the 2015 Royal Rumble. Against Daniel Bryan. Heyman's money is on Roman Reigns.

There's just one exception. Because Reigns may be the right guy, in the right place. But he picked the wrong time. Because WrestleMania 31, Reigns isn't facing another man. He's facing a Beast. And Reigns cannot beat Brock Lesnar.

Reigns asks Heyman to scoot a few inches over to his right, and say that again, right to his face. Because Reigns doesn't think he can do it. Because Heyman was there the night after the Rumble, and saw Reigns go face-to-face with Lesnar at WWE Studios. So Reigns wants Heyman to take a message to Lesnar: at WrestleMania, it won't be about winning, and it won't be about respect... it'll be all about HOW Reigns beats Lesnar's ass, and when it's all over, respect won't be an issue, because Lesnar won't even like Reigns. Beleive that.

On paper, it doesn't make any sense, but somehow, in the delivery, it worked. I still don't buy Reigns as being anywhere near WM-worthy, but at least this attempt to shove him down our throats didn't provide any evidence that Reigns flat-out sucks. Bryan and Heyman did everything they could to put him over, and Reigns himself got his point across with a non-zero amount of charisma.

Heyman slunk away, as Reigns music played.

One Year Ago: on Tuesday, the WWE Network celebrates its first birthday. You know what that means? On Tuesday, I celebrate the one year anniversary of undergoing the Whipple Procedure, and coming out cancer-free on the other side. I'll never "celebrate" the agony of the first 3 months of 2014, but I'll celebrate that outcome 8 days a week. [Also, despite my current relocation to Texas, I will be going back to Dayton in a week to get a whole bunch of tests and check-ups done, to make sure that outcome holds. It is not entirely coincidental that I timed my brief return home to happen during the A-10 tournament and the first weekend of the NCAA Tourney. Ahem. Don't let me down, Flyers!]

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CESARO & TYSON KIDD (w/ Natalya) vs. THE USOS (w/ Naomi) (Tag Team Title Match)

Wasting no time on the contractually obligated rematch... and then wasting no time kicking ass, as they are powered by Mighty Indignation.

The tide turns when the match spills outside, and Kidd uses Nattie as a human shield. Jimmy, decent human being that he is, pauses his attack, and suffers the concequences. For her part, Nattie is less annoyed by Kidd's antics than she has been in the past.

Jimmy gets separation on a jawbuster, tag in to Jey, Kidd becomes legal on the corresponding move. Jey hits a flurry, and then Jimmy joins in for a double team move where Kidd eats the ringside barricade.

Cesaro tries to come over to help out, but he eats it, too. Usos take it back into the ring, where Jey goes for the first near fall of the match on Kidd. Cesaro with the save. Jimmy dispatches Cesaro.

Illegal men are powdered out. Both legal men are down. So we break for...

[as]

Back, and the heels are firmly in control for a bit, until Jey gets the knees up to block a Kidd slingshot move. BUt Kidd immediately reaches up to tag in Cesaro, who in turn runs across the ring to knock Jimmy off the apron. Jey has no one to tag to when he does counter Cesaro and dives to his corner.

So the heels continue, including the Swing into the Dropkick Combo. I shall dub it, Swingus Interruptus. Jimmy has to run in to break up that pin attempt.

Cesaro sets up for a superplex, but Jey turns it into an Electric Chair, and tags in Jimmy, who hits a superfly splash... Kidd has to break it up with a slingshot elbow.

And then, Kidd continues the match, even though he is not legal... Cole even acknowledges this.

So when Jimmy fires up and rallies, he's doing against the illegal man. But the ref has lost track.

Kidd manages a cheap roll-up attempt, and then puts his feet on the rope for extra leverage. Naomi reaches up to break it up.

This brings Nattie over to that side of the ring, and she drops Naomi. Then, With Jimmy up top, Nattie reaches up and shoves him to the mat. Naomi yanks Nattie off the apron, but the ref saw what happened, and calls for the bell.

Your Winners: the Usos, via disqualification, in about 10 minutes. Nothing offensive here, but this wasn't quite up to what they delivered last night, and isn't even close to what they COULD deliver. But the story takeaway is that Nattie is no longer the unwilling pawn, she's actively evil... and also, there will be additional rematches, so they'll get a chance to deliver.

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Backstage: Miz is lint-rolling his black jacket, and when Sandow walks up, he blames Sandow for the lintiness of said jacket. Sandow says he's sorry, but he's just gotten some huge news, and.... but Miz talks over him, saying HE has some big news, too. Miz has accomplished almsot everything in WWE, and there's only one mountain left to climb... Miz is entering the Andre Battle Royale at WM31, and when he wins, his star will shine even brighter than ever.

Sandow says that's great, but he just wants to thank Miz for firing him as Stunt Double. Because now that Sandow is not stuck in that role, casting directors have been all over him, offering all kinds of awesome parts. In fact, Sandow just booked his first commercial role!

Miz insincerely congratulates him, and then orders Sandow to start lint-rolling his jacket. Sandow grudgingly complies. How long before Sandow announces he's also been entered into the Andre Battle Royale?

Elsewhere Backstage: Bray Wyatt is talking to an open casket. Wyatt talks about last year's WM loss, in which Taker's mythos was destroyed, his streak ended, and his body reduced to a pile of broken bones. Bray says that everything Taker once was, Bray is now, and it is his (Bray's) mission to finish Taker once and for all. FIND. ME.

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JACK SWAGGER vs. STARDUST

Stardust is back to his full jumpsuit look, for whatever that's worth.

Then, Stardust just dominates Swagger for 2 minutes, until Goldust's music hits, and he comes out on the stage. The distraction is enough for Swagger to attack from behind, and cinch in the Patriot Act.

Stardust doesn't bother fighting, and just insta-taps, instead. The preservation instinct is strong in this one.

Your Winner: Jack Swagger, via submission, in under 3 minutes. Sure, Swagger wins a match, but the story here is the post-match tantrum by Cody, and the staredown he has with Dustin.

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This Just In: WrestleMania is 34 days away. And I already want to stab myself in the earhole whenever that theme song plays. Not because it isn't catchy, but because it is the perfect embodiment of everything that is wrong with present day pop song production. It's not even production, it's just fabrication, and only vaguely resembles what I think of as music.

'MURICA

John Cena's music hits, and he sprints down to the ring, only remembering at the last second that he's supposed to be hurting after last night's match, so he sort of holds his ribs after he slides in under the bottom rope.

Cena goes right into his phoney, unnecessarily angry shouty voice, saying that Yep, Rusev took him to the limit last night, but even as he was locked in the Camel Clutch, Cena told himself "Don't give up." And he didn't. He passed out.

And in his defense, he took Rusev to the limit, too, and Cena knows that he's the first man ever to cause Rusev to contemplate the thought of defeat. And that's why Rusev did what he did, and took the short cut of kicking Cena in the balls and yadda yadda yadda, this ain't over yet.

Enter Rusev and Lana. Lana says the Americans have a phrase... what is it. Oh yeah, "I told you so." The crowd launches into a USA chant. Lana tells them to shut tup. She also says that however Cena wants to spin it, he still came up short. He lost.

The big hero, John Cena, humbled and humiliated by the Super Athlete, Rusev. And while Cena has spent the last day trying to come up with excuses for his loss, Rusev has spent the last day accepting all kinds of accolades, including from...

Well, you know.

Rusev takes the mic and says he broke Cena. And now that Cena has embarassed himself, his family, and his whole stupid country, it is now Rusev's Time. Rusev wants Cena to acknowledge that his time is past, and that Rusev is the superior athlete. He wants to hear it from Cena's own mouth.

Cena says Rusev is free to say what he wants to about Cena, but he'd better be careful about what he says about the United States.

"Or what?" Lana wonders. What will Cena do about it. She shoots it to a picture of Cena passed out from last night on the Tron.

Cena, who was already ridiculously over-the-top at the start of his promo, takes it up another notch, and launches into an even shoutier patriotic spiel that sort of makes me embarassed to be an American. But I bet it played among highly suggestable children in the reddest of red states. Or back in the 80s. But elsewhere, it's just too one-dimensionally close-minded and jingoistic.

Still, it ends with Cena getting back into valid pro wrestling territory by saying that if Rusev is so confident, then he'll accept Cena's challenge for a US Title rematch. At WrestleMania.

Rusev says, "What makes you think you deserve a rematch?" Then he says a bunch of stuff in Bulgarian. Then he returns to English, "You used to be the Great John Cena. But now, you are just the Quitter John Cena. So my answer is no." Then the Russian flag unfurls behind Cena.

They had a great chance to follow up on last night's win by Rusev, by making this a personal issue. But instead, they backed off of that, and when the entirely cheap and annoying "patriotic" route, where Cena didn't care about being personally besmirched, he was just offended that Rusev would insult America. He said so, point blank.

And that is so lame.

Backstage: Seth Rollins and the Stooges walk in on Randy Orton, saying he wants to talk. Orton says he's OK to talk, but only if Rollins leaves his "pets" at the door. J&J act pissed, but Rollins tells them to settle down, and wait outside.

Orton assures Rollins that he might have issues with Rollins, but he's a big picture kind of guy. Rollins says that's great, and he's so happy that Orton will put the past behind him.

But Orton corrects him, and says he's not forgetting anything. It's just that, as far as tonight goes, he just wants to show Bryan and Reigns that neither one of them would have been in the WWE Title picture if Orton had been in the Royal Rumble.

Rollins does a little double-take, but then decides he can accept that. He shakes hands again, and walks off.

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Sting in a Nutshell: a 3 minute video summary of Sting's career, in which he was WCW's signature star. And now, he's in WWE, trying to screw with HHH.

PAIGE & EMMA vs. THE BELLA TWINS

Paige wants to jumpstart the match, going after Nikki, but the ref and Emma just barely manage to hold her back. Then the bell rings, and Emma says she'll start, because Paige needs to simmer down.

Then Broe shoves Paige off the apron, and hits the X Factor on Emma. Fin.

Your Winners: the Bella Twins, via pinfall, in about 12 seconds. Paige dove in and tried to attack Brie, but Nikki came to the rescue and blasted Paige with the Women's Title belt. On top of last night's cheap/handful-of-tights win by Nikki, I'm pretty sure this means Paige is still the #1 Contender. That's not nothing.

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Hall of Fame: it was already announced on the tweety, but pretend to be surprised that the Bushwhackers are the latest inductees into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015...

Wait, even if it was already announced hours ago, you should STILL be surprised. Because even if you count their time as The Sheepherders, this is just about the most ridiculous reach in WWE HOF history. Probably even bigger than Ko Ko B. Ware. Yikes. I know we need to pad out these classes, but this year's is looking REALLY lame after Macho Man.

Reportedly, Kevin Nash is gonna go in this year, too, but this class needs more help than that. I know WWE thinks Ahhh-nold is A Thing, but honestly, other than people who watch Access Hollywood, it isn't. Not here in 2015.

RYBACK vs. CURTIS AXEL

Before we get to the match, Curtis Axel is mid-ring, and wearing a red and yellow Axelmania t-shirt. He says he was never eliminated from the Royal Rumble, and in fact, he's still in it... his record setting stint is now standing at 29 days, 23 hours, 43 minutes, and 17 seconds. 18. 19.

So since he's never been eliminated from the Rumble, he demands to have his WrestleMania Moment, and if they won't give it to him, he'll take it. He's officially entering himself into the Andre Battle Royale.

Then Ryback's music hits, and he comes out to grab the mic away from Axel. He says that they're old buddies, and Rybaxel was one of the greatest tag teams of all time. He said it while chuckling, because not even Ryback believes that.

But Ryback says Axel said at least one smart thing, and it was about the Andre Battle Royale. So Ryback says he's entering it, too.

But he doesn't want to wait 34 days. "So what do you say the Big Guy takes the Ax-Man to Smashville?" Axel says that's OK, the bell rings, and Axel jumpstarts it.

For about 30 seconds, he's in control. Then inevitability kicks in.

Your Winner: Ryback, via pinfall, in under a minute. Yep yep yep, that just happened.

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This Thursday: on SmackDown, we'll be getting a Fast Lane rematch... Ziggler/Ryback/Rowan vs. Rollins/Show/Kane. I wonder if that might be tweaked based on what happens next...

Last Week: Seth Rollins talked trash about Jon Stewart. Then Jon retailated with a full promo on the twitter. And now, WWE is replaying the whole thing, which leads me to believe there has to be more to this... because otherwise, they'd have just mentioned that it happened, in order to get the rub from the Daily Show. But they keep replaying the whole thing.

I repeat: there are worse ideas than having Stewart around to be the mouthpiece for the verbally- and intellectually-challenged Orton.

DANIEL BRYAN & ROMAN REIGNS vs. SETH ROLLINS & RANDY ORTON (w/ Big Show, Kane, and the New Stooges)

Rollins enters first, with his entourage, and then gives a tongue-bath of a ring intro for Orton. Silly Seth. I don't have a lot in common with Randall, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that if we're talking about ring intros, we'd both really like you to step aside, and let Lilian deliver the tongue bath. Oh, mama....

I digress. By the time we finally get everybody to the ring, it's already 9:50 (central)... and instead of starting the match, we have to break for...

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Back, and they were nice enough to wait for us, before ringing the bell. Still, that mostly just means that this isn't designed to be much of a match (10 minutes, tops)... so here's hoping the story they have in mind is something we can sink our teeth into.

Rollins starts for the bad guys. Bryan for the good guys. Bryan gets the better of it. Reigns comes in, and keeps it up. As soon as Rollins has a chance, he chickenshits his way back to his corner to tag in Orton.

Orton doesn't hold back, and the fans (who are already mixed on Reigns) seem to enjoy the display of aggression. Reigns regains the edge, and tags in Bryan, which causes a significantly greater amount of cognitive dissonance for the fans. They're not sure who to cheer for.

Then when Rollins tags back in, that simplifies matters. But then Orton complicates matters by pulling Rollins to safety when Bryan sets up for a Flying Goat Dive. Orton even calls for a team conference after that...

And are you shitting me? We have to deal with yet ANOTHER set of...

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Yikes, so we got 3 minutes of match, then ads, and now, it's 10pm... really questionable time management.

Heels are back in control, and it's thanks to a distraction by the Stooges, during the break. Orton is dominating Reigns...

Then Rollins tags in, and gets a few licks in on Reigns, before resorting to a chinlock. THEY REALLY ARE ON THE SAME PAGE~!

But mostly, the chinlock gives Reigns an easy hold to power out of. Tilt-a-whirl slam to Rollins, then a hot tag to Bryan. Rollins can't get a tag of his own, so he's the victim of Bryan's high octance flurry.

Series of YES! Kicks, but then the big super-duper Wind Up YES! Kick whiffs... but Bryan smoothly segues into the YES! Lock, requiring Orton to make the save. In comes Reigns. The Pier Four Brawl is one.

Reigns and Orton powder out, and Bryan gets the better of Rollins, ending with the Flying Goat. But before Bryan can follow up, J&J create a distraction, and Rollins capitalizes.

With order restored, Rollins tags in Orton, who continues the onslaught. But when Orton goes for the superplex, Bryan fights back. A headbutt finally sends Orton to the mat, and Bryan goes for the flying headbutt. ORton moves.

Both men down. Ref applies the double count. But then both men dive to their corners and make tags at the same moment.

Reigns and Rollins in, and Reigns is on fire. He hits 10 turnbuckle clotheslines, and sets up the Superman Punch... but Mercury gets up on the apron, so Reigns diverts and punches him off. Rollins with an enzuigiri, and then he tags in Orton.

Orton regains the advantage with his pendulum powerslam. But when he sets up for the Hangman DDT, Rollins blind tags himself into the match.

Orton is pissed, but hits the DDT. Then, he wants to walk out. Show and Kane try to talk sense, but Orton's not listening... in the ring, Rollins is distracted long enough to fall prey to another Superman Punch.

Then Reigns backed into the corner to set up the spear, but Bryan blind tags HIMself into the match. Instead of getting pissed, Reigns laughs and gives the Universal Sign for "He's All Yours." Bryan hits the Aberdeen Facebuster Knee, and pins Rollins.

Your Winners: Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. The finishing sequence was pretty great, but the ad breaks and all-around abrputness of it all really robbed the match of having a Main Event Feel. Maybe, with Reigns headlining Mania, we need to get used to this?

Ah, I keed, I keed. This was solid in terms of delivering the Orton/Rollins friction in an almost entirely unexpected way. That's rather commendable. With the entire WM line-up pretty much set, I applaud any attempt to throw wrinkles into the stories that build to that set line-up.

After the Match: Bryan and Reigns left, all chummy, then the screen went black (but we still got all the audio). Cole apologized for technical issues, and at that moment, the picture came back.

Orton was stalking Rollins. The Stooges tried to get in the way. RKO to Noble. Mercury just backed off. Orton backed Rollins into a corner... and then, Orton just slapped Rollins on the shoulder, as if to say, "We'll get 'em next time, slugger."

Rollins, adorable chump that he is, buys this, and breaks into a shit-eating grin as Orton heads up the ramp.

There's one final ham-fisted hard sell on the WWE Network Birthday Marathon, before we cut back to the ring, where Rollins and Co. are marveling at their good fortune as we fade to black...

And so ends the show.. and I think I can reasonably call it an effective ending. I'd rather WWE manage its time a bit better. Even if you can't give more time to the main event, at least format things so that there's only one commercial break in there, instead of two.

That really is jarring and distracting. Anytime a movie or TV show does an ad break, comes back for 3 minutes, then does another ad break, it sucks. And no, you can't use football as your defense, because it's even MORE lame when you take a commercial, do a kick-off, watch the return, and then do another commercial.

Plus, unlike football, wrestling is fake, and you can lay things out to avoid things that suck.

But in the end, even if the match itself wasn't particularly memorable, the finish and the story were... everybody knows Orton is facing Rollins at WrestleMania. But WWE just figured out a way to kick the can down the road in a way that's actually pretty interesting and compelling. I'll take it.

And I think that was the overall theme of the night. Well, except for Rusev/Cena, which actually made things much sillier after a strong twist last night. Adding more players for a multi-way IC Title match is great. Nattie finally embracing her evil was a nice twist in the tag division. And although the throat-down-shoving was in full effect for Reigns (Heyman's sell job was on pitch, and Bryan's was forced, but they way they got along at the end of the tag match made it retroactively OK), I think he even came off well tonight.

And I think WWE should be able to tontinue this sort of Sustainable Episodic Television, because even if Orton has to eventually RKO Rollins into next week (and sooner than later), they still have a few trump cards to play, since Sting and Taker can't stay silent until Mania. Well, at least not both of them. One of them, maybe, but definitely not both.

So those are cool moments to look forward to over the next 5 weeks. But for now, this was a solid storyline RAW, just without a whole lot of in-ring action to provide the total package.

I'm gonna call that a final grade of B.

See you next week, OO Nation....

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PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

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RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.