The committee has, rightfully, taken a lot of crap over the years because their decisions don't usually make a whole lot of sense, unless viewed through BCS Colored Glasses. "But Rick, the BCS doesn't have anything to do with basketball, it's a football thing. Also, the BCS doesn't exist anymore," I hear some of you crying. To which I respond, "You know exactly what I mean, and I'm right. The NCAA's transparent attempt to placate football has long been a detriement to their basketball tournament being run fairly."
 
Thing is, for a few years, it started to get a lot better. The bubble selections were more sensible, and seeding seemed a lot more fair.
 
But then, this year happened. The 2015 Selection Job was just objectively awful. Sure, by the time ESPN took over coverage, they tried to spin it differently (ESPN always favors their corporate overlords over anything resembling integrity), but the guys on CBS during the actual selection show could not hide their confusion and disdain.
 
Yes, I'm upset about my Dayton Flyers -- almost universally considered an 8/9/10 seed and comfortably in -- being revealed as one of the Last Four In, relegated to a play-in game.... but then, hey, said play-in game is IN DAYTON, so it amounts to a home game, after which the next two games are in Columbus, against a 6 seed and a 3 seed. If UD had gotten seeded fairly, we'd be playing half-a continent away, and stuck facing a 1 seed in the second round.
 
But at the end of the day, I might make a case for the Flyers' situation improving because of the committee's incompetence, but I'm also somebody who tries to be fair and right-headed at all times, so I'm still disgusted. UCLA is clearly the lightning rod for complaints this year, and the reason why is simple: I have yet to see anyone present a halfway compelling excuse for them to be in, much less SAFELY IN (not having to play a play-in game). Even the head of the committee himself was interviewed a few times last night, and HE failed to provide an explanation. He seemed as confused as the rest of us.
 
That shouldn't be allowed to happen. The committee had seemed to be moving AWAY from old bad habits, but sped back towards them, all of a sudden, and at warp speed. I won't waste any more time underscoring the myriad selection atrocities committed this year, as they cannot be undone. I merely begin a campaign for absolute and total transparency in the selection process, starting ASAP.
 
The only reason the committee wouldn't want people to be able to see them making their decisions is if they were worried that they were making bad ones. So let's shine a little light on those jackwagons, and maybe it'll inspire them to choose more wisely.
 
And if not, hey, we'll know exactly who thought UCLA was a good idea, and why, which is something NOT EVEN THE CHAIRMAN OF TE COMMITTEE is able or willing to explain this year.
 
End of rant. I have faith that the extra home game won't really screw over my Flyers (no matter how short-handed we are, and how much we need more rest, not more games)... at least, not too much. That leaves two other schools that got screwed over worse than  us: (1) Boise St., who now has to come to Dayton to play us on our home court, which is not fair to them, as Dayton had no earthly business inthe play-in game at all, and (2) whichever school got left out so UCLA could get in (I'm thinking Temple or CSU looked good, and CSU had a mitigating circumstance of resting their star player with a minor injury, which is why they lost their auto-bid; said star player was to be 100% by Thursday). Sorry, fellas.
 
And sorry to the rest of you for enduring my mighty indignation. Here's what happened on tonight's just-completed RAW:

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those With ADD: OO does not recap recaps.

SETH CAN PLAY MIND GAMES, TOO

And when the video package is over, Seth Rollins and his crew are in the middle of the ring, where a vocal minority are chanting "RAHL LINS," because they are in Seth's home state of Iowa.

Seth immediately shoots down that hometown sentiment by talking about how he made something of himself, and step one was getting the hell out of Iowa. And then he talks about disgusting betrayal by Orton last Monday, and how that's totally not the same thing as what Rollins did to the Shield.

Iowa: "YOU SOLD OUT."

But Rollins presses on, saying that what he (Rollins) did was just a good business move, it didn't give him any pleasure, it was just the right thing to do. But what Orton did was sick, and twisted, and because Orton LIKED it, that makes him a sociopath. In short, Rollins is disgusted by Orton.

Big Show takes a turn, and apologizes to Rollins, for actually bringing Orton back into the fold, believing he would change his ways. Kane takes a turn, and says that even though he didn't get suckered in as bad as Show (zing!), he still wasn't vigilant enough, and feels guilty. So he apologizes, too.

Jamie Noble steps up and says that he's the "secret weapon" of the Authority, but tonight, it's not about him. Noble doesn't care that Orton put his hands on him. He (Noble) was able to get over it, but there's somebody else who is still hurt: Joey Mercury, I guess, is the emotional one, as he gets choked up, and doesn't relax until Big Show offers him a big hug.

Rollins brings it home by reminding us that Orton has issued a challenge for WrestleMania... and ROllins accepts. He'll face Orton one-on-one at WrestleMania. But with one catch: the two are gonna fight tonight, and yadda yadda yadda....

Orton's music hits, and he comes out on the stage. He reminds us that last week, he made Rollins his bitch. So he's got no problem accepting Seth's terms for tonight's main event... Orton even knows it's not gonna be one-on-one here on RAW, but that's OK, because he's got enough venom for all 5 of them. So unless they think they are gonna completely destroy Orton, there's still gonna be enough of Orton left to go to WrestleMania and finish the job.

Short and to the point.

Belated Welcome: Cole & The Gang welcome us to the show, promising an in-ring Contract Signing between Rusev and Cena, and also a pre-taped interview with Brock Lesnar. This is supposed to keep me from flipping around? No sale. Thank god I'm back on the DVR time shift bandwagon...

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NIKKI BELLA (w/ Brie) vs. AJ LEE (w/ Paige) (Non-Title)

Nikki dominates early, using size and power to her advantage. But then she gloats a bit too much (stopping to do some push-ups), and AJ uses speed and technique to even the score. About 2 minutes in, AJ is able to toss Nikki over the top rope.

While the Bellas huddle, we break for....

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Back, and now NIkki is working on AJ's arm. Armbar at first, but then a Fujiwara take-down, then back to armbar. Into a hammerlock. But AJ uses her skillz and counter out of the hammerlock into a front facelock. Nikki powers out, but this begins our back and forthy End Game.

AJ kicks it into high gear with a Steamboat-style crossbody for a very convincing near fall. Nikki with an awkward/half-speed-looking facebuster thingie for a less convincing near fall. This stay kinda botchy on a powerbomb-into-roll-up exchange, which ends with both woman rolling outside the ring, where their respective seconds show up, and everybody starts arguing.

AJ decides to focus on her opponent, and tosses Nikki back into the ring. But then Brie decides to attack Paige outside the ring. AJ is distracted by this, and so Nikki pearl harbors her, and the Rack Attack finishes it.

Your WInner: Nikki Bella, via pinfall, in about 6-7 minutes. Had enough time to tell a little story and build up a bit of drama, but the ending got a little sloppy and seemed to fizzle.

Backstage: Renee Young is talking to Big Show and Kane about their plans for tonight's Rollins/Orton main event. Kane just commandeered the mic, and said that as DOO, he's decided that the two of them will accompany Seth Rollins to the ring... and that gets Show angry, because he's sick and tired of being ordered around by Kane.

In storms Seth Rollins, who says this sort of childish behavior is what got them ejected from the building last week.... but Kane immediately gets snippy, and says it's one thing if Stephanie McMahon wants to talk to them like that. But Seth isn't there, yet, so he'd better be more respectful of the men who have enabled his breakout run.

And just like that, Kane decides he no longer feels like accompanying Rollins to the ring later tonight. And Kane has rescinded his previous order, and now Big Show can make up his own mind. Show just stares bullets at Rollins, and then walks away without saying a word. So, ummmmm, call that a maybe? Regardless, we zoom in on a miffed Rollins to close the segment...

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RYBACK vs. MIZ (w/ Damien Sandow)

Before the match, Miz talked up his chances of winning the Andre Memorial Battle Royale, because he's got a personal assistant who will insure his victory. And tonight, we'll get a sneak peak, because Miz is allowing Sandow to come to ringside to insure his victory against Ryback.

But it doesn't go that way.

Ryback takes control, and actually drags Miz over to Sandow, and holds Miz while encouraging Sandow to punch Miz. Sandow is tempted, and even clenches a fist, but declines.... Miz elbows out of Ryback's clutches, and decides to spend his time berating Sandow, which allows Ryback to resume command.

Back up into the ring, and the Shellshock hits in short order.

Your WInner: Ryback, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. Yep yep yep, that just happened.

After the Match: Sandow half-assedly tended to Miz, but then, as soon as Miz got to his feet, he planted Sandow with the Skull Crushing Finale. BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

So, the partnership/impersonation is over, now? How does Sandow repackage himself? Or does Sandow keep doing Miz better than Miz, to Miz's annoyance? My favorite idea so far is Mick Foley's.... Curtis Axel's "AxelMania" teams up with "Macho Man" Damien Sandow as a latter day Megapowers. It' doesn't have to be a whole big serious thing, but for WrestleMania season (where Hogan really is inducted Savage into the HoF), it could be so much fun.

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CONTRACT SIGNING

The table has an American flag draped over one side, and a Russian one draped over the other. But once Cena hits the ring, Cole wastes no time directed him to the leatherbound folder, containing the contract for his US Title Match against Rusev.

Cena looks it over, but then drops it so he can deliver a little speech about how he's signed a lot of contracts, but this might be the most important one. Because Rusev is the United States Champion, and that means Rusev represents the United States, and means he represents US. The word "us," not just the U.S.

Booooo? Again, WWE going all the way the wrong way, here. They had that chance to make it into a very personal issue coming out of Fast Lane, but instead, Cena just says "This isn't about me, this is about 'Muhrica!" But see, here's the thing, I'm American, but I'm not so stupid to think that Rusev holding the US Title is somehow an affront against me, personally. There are a lot of things to not like about Russia, but they are mostly to do with Putin getting all Hitlery over the past year or so. I don't get why I'm supposed to be offended by some guy who happens to be Russian, and who happens to hold a title in America, and who (to the best of my knowledge) didn't order the assassination of his main political rival earlier in the month.

If you find yourself getting into this feud, I trust you've decided to do it ironically. Because the other options are that you just awoke from a coma, and you're unaware that society has changed in the past 25 years, or that you ARE aware, but you're trying to undo those changes from your fortress in some unfathomably red backwater of the reddest of red states.

But I digress. Cena's rah rah speech ends (with some definite mixed reaction) and he signs the contract.

Cole calls out Rusev, who is dressed in a suit, and is without Lana. Looks like I was right about that little exchange last week (Lana is off making a WWE Film; originally planned to take place after Mania, but when Rusev verbally berated Lana for agreeing to the match, that seemed to speed up the timetable)... in her place is some random guy doing a pretty bad Russian accent, who declares that Rusev will NOT be signging the contract.

As evidence, the guy shows two video clips.... the first is where Stephanie says RUSEV must change his mind about granting a rematch, and the second is where LANA is the one who agrees to the rematch. Not Rusev. So, the contract is null and void. Unless.....

Unless John Cena can contain his savage emotions long enough to grant Rusev a chance to exercise his freedom of expression. If Cena allows Rusev to complete his entire statement, then and only then will Rusev sign the contract. Cena figures it's worth a try, so Rusev begins...

About 20 seconds of talk about weakness and failure, and Cena's already ripping off his t-shirt and frothing at the mouth, because you can talk about Cena, but NOT about 'Muhrica! But Cena just barely keeps calm long enough for Rusev to hit a punchline about America being on her last legs. Then, he quickly signed his name, and flipped the table into Cena so Cena couldn't attack.

With Cena under the table, Rusev and his new toadie got up to the safety of the ramp, and had a staredown with Cena as the segment came to a close...

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CESARO/TYSON KIDD (w/ Nattie) vs. THE NEW DAY (w/ Eggsavier Woods)

Los Matadores came out to watch, as we learn that the tag division is in a bit of flux, due to a serious shoulder injury to Jey Uso, that has the Usos doubtful for WrestleMania. Huh, the way WWE played that story, I assumed it was a work to add underdoggy drama to the Usos vs. the champs. But apparently not.

So the match is won in pretty short order by the champs. THen, the Matadores have something to say about things.

Your WInners: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, via pinfall, in 2 minutes. Thrilling.

After the Match: the Matadores came down and helped Cesaro finish off the New Day. But then El Torito snuck up on Cesaro, and the Matadores took down the champs. Fans were definitely booing the Matadores after that. Don't know if it was the intent, but it is what happened.

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Backstage: Seth Rollins is rallying the (remaining) troops, telling Noble and Mercury that they don't need another screw-up like last week. Noble speaks up and reminds Seth that last week, Rollins sent them both home. They followed orders to the LETTER last week, and that's not on them. Rollins does not like the sassback, and verbally abuses Noble, ending with a bitchslap. He tells Noble not to press his luck, because next time, Rollins will fire his ass.

Noble's dander is fully up, however, and he's all "Fire me? FIRE ME? Nah, you cain't do that, cuz I quit." Noble leaves. Rollins tries to patch things up with Mercury, saying "Hey, we didn't need him, anyway, amirite?" But Mercury just shakes his head and walks away.

The impression with which we are left is that Rollins is now COMPLETELY ALONE against Orton later tonight... but why am I sensing another round of mind games in which Rollins fabricated those arguments with his pals to create the illusion of alone-ness? I mean, they sure seemed flimsy, phony, and fabricated, but the problem is: I'm so used to WWE's continuity and character motivation being terrible that I don't know if THIS TIME we're supposed to be noticing that it's foreshadowing, or if this is still just their honest best effort at replicating how they think real humans would behave...

Pre-Taped Comments from Brock Lesnar: standard "I will kick your ass" speech about the futility of Reigns' title aspirations, but then Brock did sneak in on little morsel of intrigue. "As far as my WWE contract goes.... let's just say that if I decide to stay, I will be the WWE Champion. But if I decide to leave, I'll still be the WWE Champion. Nothing anybody can do to stop that."

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ERICK ROWAN vs. BIG SHOW (Not a Match)

Big Show attacks before the bell ring, hitting the WMD after about 30 seconds. Then, he capped it off with a second rope elbow drop before finally strutting away and letting trainers tend to Rowan.

Hall of Fame: the latest inductee to the Class of 2015 is Larry Zbyszko, who broke into wrestling as Bruno Sammartino's protege, and then broke out on his own as Bruno's nemesis. But those who are contemporaries with OO only really remember him as one of WCW's endless string of crappy, non-Heenan color commentators during the Monday Night Wars.

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KANE vs. THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE BATTLE ROYALE ROSTER (Also Not a Match)

So I guess Kane didn't much enjoy Big Show showing off. So Kane has invited about a dozen dudes down to the ring, apparently, all guys who are in the Andre Battle Royale. Oddly, Goldust is among them.... doesn't he fit better in the IC Ladder Match?

But Kane says he wants to give everybody a little preview of what will happen at WM (by facing the bottom half of the depth chart for the AMBR)... Mark Henry comes out, and has a little something to say about that, because HE is entering the AMBR, too. Kane says, Alright, join in the fun, let's see who's the better man.

Curtis Axel immediately slides out under the bottom rope, and goes over to stand by the big Andre Trophy (not getting eliminated from these types of matches is apparently now his thing). Then everybody else fights away in the ring, and 90 seconds later, it's down to Kane and Henry.

Henry is able to dump Kane, but then Axel jumps in and tries to toss Henry out. No sale. Henry chucks Axel out to boos, It wasn't officially a match, but Henry "wins."

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DEAR ROMAN: WE'RE NOT SAYING "YOU CAN'T," WE'RE SAYING "YOU AREN'T ONE OF THE GUYS WE WANTED TO BE TRYING," AND THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE

Paul Heyman is here to a few words on behalf of his client, Brock Lesnar, the single most credible and authentic champion in the hisotry of pro wrestling, amateur wrestling, MMA, and nobody with half a brain in their skull can debate that.

Heyman starts talking about how the Powers That Be have all kinds of parameters for what is appropriate on WWE programming.... but Brock Lesnar doesn't play that game. He's not a company man, he's a BEAST. And he's not going to WrestleMania to win a match, he's going to WrestleMania to VIOLATE Roman Reigns, and what's WWE gonna do when Lesnar goes far beyond the realm of decency? Cut the feed? Refund everybody's money? They better have a plan in place, because Heyman's warning them: this IS what will happen at WM.

Then, as if on cue, Heyman's mic cuts out, and he waits until it pops back on... he says he hopes Oz is having fun back there, because it's one thing to do this tsuff to Heyman, but so far, he's seen no indication that anybody has a clue how to stop Brock Lesnar when he drives the train off the tracks.

Paul closes with one final groan-worthy cheesy line, "Roman Reigns isn't the next great Samoan AmeriCAN superstar, he's the next Samoan AmeriCAN'T...." and that's when Reigns' music hits, because somebody said the magic word, "Can't."

Reigns makes his way through the crowd, and gets into the ring, grabbing a mic. He says he's actually got no beef with Heyman. Heyman's a legendary talker, doing what he does best: talking people through the turnstiles to create the biggest possible payday for his client. And along the way, Heyman's said some things about Reigns' family, but hell, most of 'em are true, and he's just telling everybody where Reigns is from, and what he's capable of.

That said, Reigns isn't feeling quite so charitable towards Reigns, and will speak directly to him, if nobody minds....so Reigns turns towards the hard camera, and says he's going to WrestleMania for a fight, for a war, just the same as Brock apparently is. Lesnar better be ready to take as good as he gives, because Reigns isn't expecting it to be easy or pretty. He's just expecting to give it his all, and if he doesn't win? Well, he's got a hgue family, a ton of them in the Bay Area, so he knows he'll have plenty of friendly faces helping him to get up and dust himself off. Reigns intends to win, but if not, he has people who love him who'll help him fight another day. If Lesnar loses, who does he have? What does he have? Nothing, and nobody. And that's what sucks about being such a loner.

Meantime, the live audience has stopped listening, and is chanting "DAN YIL BRY YAN" at Reigns. Reigns tries to talk over them, at first, but finally has to acknowledge them as some of his critics who keep telling him "Can't," which is his least favorite word.

But here's the problem: Lesnar and Heyman are telling him "can't," because they are inside the fictional universe.... us fans know this is a fake sport, and Reigns CAN do anything that the writers/front office decide. Our stance isn't that Reigns CAN'T do the job, it's that we would prefer SOMEBODY ELSE DOING IT. Two ENTIRELY different things, but WWE's conflating them because they'd rather shame the fans than listen to them.

After declaring that the chanters are just haters who think he "can't," Reigns gets more clear-cut boos from about half the crowd as he closes with a promise to kick Lesnar's ass. Not because he wants to, but because he can, he will, and he believes that.

The way Heyman was standing back and watching this (almost in awe?) leads me to wonder if there isn't something to this new smark theory about Heyman selling out Lesnar (for leaving WWE against Heyman's wishes) and corrupting Roman Reigns as his new client.... that would really work for me. Not as well as getting Lesnar to stick around, but infinitely bette than WWE actually trying to forge ahead with babyface Reigns as champ.

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Backstage: Renee Young catches up with Paul Heyman, and wants to know what he thinks about Reigns' comments. Heyman basically says he thinks the time for talking is over. So next week, he's bringing his client to RAW, and he invites Roman Reigns to join him in the ring. And Reigns can say or do whatever he deems appropriate, and do it right to Brock Lesnar's face. The only catch is that Brock Lesnar will say [intensity goes up 8 notches] AND DO [/intensity] whatever he deems appropriate in response. In closing, Heyman says Reigns can think all he wants about this showdown, but when the day comes, he CAN'T do anything about it.

DANIEL BRYAN/DOLPH ZIGGLER/DEAN AMBROSE vs. WADE BARRETT/STARDUST/LUKE HARPER

It's a rematch from last week's SmackDown... R-Truth decides to come on down (with the IC Title belt), and sits in on guest commentary, where he begins to spin all sorts of yarns about how he used to surf while he was in college, while Cole & The Gang have fun letting him have just enough rope to hang himself.

In the ring, Daniel Bryan dominates the opening moments, against Stardust. But then Ziggler tags himself into the match, and there's momentary miscommunication, allowing Stardust to rally.... of note: there hasn't been a single mention of the idiotic "turd" promo from last Thursday (that I've seen, but I have been FF'ing the filler), which is good, and they're still trying to sow the seeds of internal dissent among the good guys, which is also good.

ANyway, when Ziggler whiffs, Bryan hangs around long enough to lend a hand and kick Stardust out over the top rope.... when Harper and Barrett try to jump them, Ambrose gets in, and we've got us a staredown. So lets break for some....

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Back, and Harper is in control until a tornado DDT by Ambrose. Tag to Ziggler, and Stardust in on the corresponding move. Nice 90 second flurry, including a near fall or two, for Dolph.... but then, Ziggler's your Face in Peril for an extended sequence in which the heels keep the ring cut in half.

Dolph excels at getting his ass kicked and making the other guy(s) look like a million bucks, so this continues for 4-5 minutes before Ziggler's first real chance to make a hot tag... but he's just toying with us, as Stardust and Barrett jump in, illegally, kickstarting a Pier Six Brawl, so there's nobody in the corner when Dolph's ready for a tag. D'oh.

The heels' trickery means Ziggler reamins Ricky Morton as the ref restores order, and we break for more...

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Back, and Barrett is working a chinlock on Ziggler, because that's what heels do after commercial breaks. Then. Now. Forever.

Dolph fires up out of that, and gets the hot tag to Bryan, who goes on a tear against Barrett. Ambrose with a blind tag in continues the assualt, while Bryan hits a Flying Goat on Harper. Stardust in to save Barrett, but Ambrose gets the better of him, too. In fact, it's almost time for Dirty Deeds on Stardust when Harper jumps back in to kick Ambrose in the face.

Bryan jumps in to even the odds, but when Ziggler throws a superkick at Harper, Harper ducks, and Bryan eats it. Ziggler doesn't miss a beat, and just hits a second superkick on Harper, showing no remorse for Bryan. Barrett strikes from behind, and hoists Ziggler up for Wastelands, dumping out to the floor, on top of the huge pile of Bryan/Harper/Stardust.

Barrett and Ambrose are the legal men, and Barrett winds up the Bullhammer Elbow.... but Ambrose ducks it and comes back with a Flash Dirty Deeds.

Your Winners: Ambrose, Ziggler, and Bryan, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. Pretty decent stuff, as I could watch these six fight twice a week, every week... and we might have another week and a half of that. By my math, Bryan's scored the pin once, and now Ambrose. We've got time for 3 more 6-man tags before WM, and time for 3 more winners (who aren't Barrett).

After the Match: Truth tried to escape with the belt, but Stardust got it from him, and ran out through the crowd. Ambrose chased him down, and got the belt. Then Truth got it back. Then Harper scared the hell out of him, so Truth just threw it back towards the ring, where it landed between Bryan and Ziggler.

Both men made a grab for it, and then there was a HUGE pop when they started trading fists, and drop the belt.... clearly, that's the End Game that fans want for the WM Ladder Match. But till then, their little scuffle gave Barrett a chance to sneaka ttack both guys and reclaim his belt for the first time in several weeks. Boooooo!

Backstage: Seth Rollins storms into Triple H and Stephanie's office, and wants to know what they're gonna do to "fix this." They only thing they see wrong is that Rollins spent the night alienating anyone who has tried to help him, and it's all his fault. Not theirs. Rollins sneaks in a snide comment about Sting being too busy playing hide and seek with Sting to do his real job, which is safeguarding the future of WWE, but then leaves, promising that he'll take care of Orton, even if he has to do it by himself.

Funny, I'm STILL suspecting Rollins and the Authority are guilty of mind games, here.... very flimsy-seeming excuses for arguments, though again, even when WWE's writers aren't going for "foreshadowing," the majority of their dialogue and conflicts are pretty phony-seeming. So who can tell? [FWIW, I'm sticking with this being a set-up, and now, I even know how Orton escapes, because this time, they didn't even bother with "foreshadowing," they just said Sting's name.]

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Pregnant Belly Freeze Frame: We catch Bray Wyatt in his lair, and he's got a new red urn... he says memories are such special things, and he particularly cherishes on of Abigail sitting in that rocking chair. She was so beautiful, but more so, she told Bray such beautiful truths. Truths about the liars out there, liars like the Undertaker. The Undertaker, who misrepresented himself for years, who got by with smoke and mirrors, but only last year had his streak broken, and his BODY broken. But now, he's representing that he's got all his old powers. Last week, he even turned the rocking chair, which was a cherished memory, into dust (Bray opens the red urn and reveals that's what's inside). But he's a liar. He's nothing anymore. Last year was the death of the Undertaker's mystique. This year, WrestleMania will be his requiem, the final burial place for his body. And it will be Bray's coronation.

After WrestleMania, Abigail will be so proud. And no one will be safe. From the New. Face. Of Fear.

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Next Week: RAW will have not one, but TWO special guests. One is Snoop Dogg.... but the other is Bill Simmons. Which makes me simultaneously very happy and very sad. Happy because for many years, Simmons proclaimed me as his favorite internet wrestling writer guy and fame and fortune could not have happened to a man with better taste. Sad because it means that if one of my disciples is getting into the inner sanctum, then that means I was THIS CLOSE to getting there myself. But noooooooooo.... when I had the chance, I had to be all stubborn and idealistic and got my site personally blacklisted by Stephanie herself, instead of just learning how to play the game a little bit.

I think I did the entire last 10 years wrong, goddammit.

RANDY ORTON vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/ No One?) (Once Again, Not a Match)

Orton enters first, then Rollins, all by his lonesome. Well, except he does have a mic. And he says he's so ashamed that he fell for Orton's mind games last week.... Orton schemed and planned for weeks, and the result was Orton getting Rollins alone at the end of last week's show.

But then, Rollins starts cackling, because the only thing that's better than taking 3 weeks to come up with your one master scheme is only needing THREE HOURS to top it. In other words: I was right... and as the entire Extended AUthority arrives to flank Rollins, the live crowd is sensing the same thing I sensed, as they start chanting for Sting.

And just as the Authority get on the apron, a crow calls, the lights go out, and when they come back on, Sting is in the middle of the ring with Orton. The real Sting. Not a stuntman, not somebody reading a voiceover with an audio effect. Sting.

Sting swings his baseball bat, Orton swings a chair, and they clear the ring with ease. Well, most of them just get out of dodge, without taking a single blow. But the New Stooges foolishly remain behind.

Sting hits a double Stinger Splash on them. Noble peels off and eats and RKO. Mercury steps forward, into a Scorpion Death Drop.

The crowd goes apeshit, as Sting's music plays to end the show. Cole sneaks in a quick plug about Sting being interviewed on the WWE Network, as soon as RAW ends, while Triple H is looking might pissed up on the stage. On that note, we fade to black....