by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

The Times, They are a-Changin!

Well folks, I've been handling the recapping duties for both Raw and Smackdown for 2 months now and it has been a blast. But due to life and all (Just got a better job that has me in at 6 AM), I'll be needing to drop Raw from my recapping schedule starting May 12. I will still be able to handle Smackdown fine, so no worries there. In this event, I'm sure Rick will be looking for a new recapper to handle Raw, and the best way I can think to audition is to do the same thing I did: Hit the boards with your recaps and see what develops. So for Alana, Michrome, anyone else that's ever done a recap and wants your name in lights (or 14 point bold script), get cracking and show us your stuff. The best time to start would be this coming Monday (April 21), as I'll be moving into a new house and I'm not sure if I'll have cable by the time Raw hits the air.

Enough of that, it's time for Smackdown!

5 minutes out: Local spot. WWE Smackdown, Live from the Norfolk Scope! I wonder how many people saw that and said, "Hey, they just had a show last Tuesday!" Undertaker states that "First I'm going to beat him up" and then that "I'm gonna bust him up!" Pardon my ignorance, but what exactly is the qualitative difference in "beating" and "busting?"

WWE Leader. For the past two weeks, we've been having a nice little tournament to determine the #1 contender for the Heavyweight title. Tonight, we find out who will be #1!

Beautiful People, and Rock is still prominently featured. Pyro proceeds to scare the shit out of my friend Danny (“I didn't know it was THAT loud!”) Hype for Benoit vs. Cena later tonight.

Right out of the gate we have Rey Mysterio and Tajiri taking on A-Train and Big Show.

A-Train and Rey start. Rey goes for a couple of rights, but A-Train no sells and clothesline's Rey right down. Rey dodges an A-Train charge, but A-Train catches him for a baldo bomb. Rey flips out of that and as A-Train sits out, Rey dropkicks him. Tag to Tajiri, and Tajiri does the same to A-Train back. Cover, A-Train kick out sends Tajiri across the ring. Rey and Tajiri try a double team, but A-Train floors the both of them. They both bounce up and hit stereo dropkicks to A-Train legs, then a synchronized dropkick to his head. Double team continues, but they are small and A-Train is big, so A-Train floors the both of them with a double clothesline. Rey bounces back up and hits a couple dropkicks to send A-Train across the ropes. Rey goes for the 619, but that's stopped when he runs into a big boot by Big Show (Onsite report: They screwed this up the first time, so they repeated the spot. We only saw the one on TV, tho). Tag to Big show, and he lays right in with the big man offense, tossing Rey around, shrugging off a few Rey kicks. A-Train tagged back in, and more of the same from him. Reversed full nelson slapped on, Big Show gets a cheap slap in. A-Train drops him, goes for the cover, but Rey has his foot on the ropes. A-Train picks him up and perches him on the top turnbuckle. Rey fights back, and counters a power slam with a tornado DDT. Rey makes the tag, and Tajiri is with his buzz saw kicks and punches, hits the handspring elbow, Springboard dropkick, Cover, gets 2. Tajiri with a rear thrust kick, dropkick for Show to send him off the apron. Tajiri sizing A-Train up, BOOT TO THE HEAD (YAA YAA!) Cover, Big show back in to bust up the count. Rey tries to beat down on Show, but Big Show hoists him with one arm, then drops him. A-Train makes the cover, gets the pin. After, Big Show tells A-Train, "Finish him!" A-Train grabs Tajiri for the Baldo Bomb, but Tajiri mists him on the way up to avoid that. Big show in to lay Tajiri out, tho. As Show is helping A-Train to the back, SURPRISE! Here comes a 6-1-9 to knock Show down and make Tazz and Cole bust out laughing. Show seethes.

Coming up next, Brock Lesnar is out for an interview.

Moments ago, Rey embarrassed Big Show.

Right now, Show head butts a hurricane fence in frustration. A-Train didn't see the 6-1-9, being all mist blinded and all. Big Show was totally embarrassed, so he's going to go and demand Stephanie give him a match against Rey. A-Train whines about the green mist burning.

Out to the ring, Michael Cole Calls Brock Lesnar out. Brock comes out, and gets his own ring post pyro (it hits as he jumps up to the apron). They show us the botched Shooting Star press 3 more times. After, Brock rambles about how he landed on his noggin and chuckles in a total country boy "Aw Shucks!" manner. When he lost his title, he thought he would win it right back, and when Kurt Angle kicked out of two F-5's ("The F-5 hurts, Cole. You don't believe me? You want me to F-5 you?") (Onsite report: After Cole begged off, Brock broke character a bit, clapped Michael on the back and told him he wouldn't do that to him, he likes him too much. This didn't get aired). Michael asks him about what about Kurt Angle. Brock responds that Kurt took him to a new level, and because of that, he respects Kurt. He doesn't get much father until he's interrupted by DJ Wicky Wicky... Err... John Cena. John is incensed that Brock is giving respect to everyone but him. He calls into question the presence of Brocks brains, and tells him that Wrestlemania is over, and it's time to concentrate on the new big thing. John Cena says that he's bigger than Brock, the people, and the title. This brings Benoit out to throw the Respect argument into his face. He tells John to worry about Benoit tonight, and that no one is bigger than the title, and to respect the championship, even if you don't respect the man wearing it. Brock cuts in at this point, getting in Chris' face, wondering if Chris respects him. Chris wonders the same thing, and John Cena breaks this up by telling the both of them to respect him. This draws smirks from both Benoit and Brock, and Brock plays peacekeeper, telling the both of them to respect the winner of the title tonight. He goes to shake John's hand, which is reluctantly taken. He then goes to shake Benoits hand, and John sneaks a shot in on Benoit and bails before Brock can react. He talks trash up the ramp and we go to commercial.

Promo for Mr. America. Uh oh, why do I have a baaaad feeling about this? My current thought: it may be Sting with a new paint job. Just idle speculation is all.

Viva La Rasa! Eddie Guererro (with Chavo) is out to take on Jamie Knoble (w/ Nidia). Before things can get started, tho, Team Angle are out to add a few comments of their own. Shelton affects a Mexican vato accent and says that he totally respects Eddie and Chavo. Charlie takes the mic and informs us all that Eddies Grandmother is the best housekeeper that money can buy. This incenses Eddie and leaves an opening the Jamie exploits to get the match started. Jamie with the boots in the corner, beating him all around the ring, Eddie fights out of the corner, and they do an arm wringer reversal sequence that ends with a Jamie neck breaker. Cover gets two. Body slam, leg drop, cover, gets 2. Eddie slammed on the corner. Eddie comes back the fists and some nice uppercuts. Eddie with a pin, Jamie kicks out. Tilt-a-whirl into a backbreaker, cover gets 2. Eddie tries to whip Jamie off the ropes, but Jamie slides through, holds on, and gets a cradle suplex. Cover gets two. Jamie going for the tiger driver, Eddie reverses to slingshot Jamie into the corner. Eddie with a belly to back suplex, and then he goes up for the Frog splash. Nidia tries to interfere, but Chavo is there to pull her down. Then Jamie tries to interfere, Eddie shoves him off and immediately follows up with the frog splash. 1-2-3! After, Eddie and Chavo grab mics and Return the favor to team angle, Letting them know that rumor has it that they are a little too into practicing their takedowns, and that they give new meaning to the words, "You Suck!" Being the extreme macho men that they are, Team angle run down and try something, but Los Guererros fend them off easily. Team angle are all like, "Yeah, we'll, we got the titles!" as we go to commercials.

Back, Rene and Sylvian make some political statements, disrespect the flag, and flex.

Back from that, Tazz mangles the history of NATO and the UN. They go over the impending matches at Backlash (all one of them confirmed so far), and then move on to the hostilities between Nathan Jones, Undertaker and the FBI. Then a highlight reel of the Cena/Undertaker match last week, complete with FBI beat down on 'Taker. Earlier Tonight, Nathan Jones grabbed Nunzio and choked him out, then took out Johnny and Chuck.

We return from that to see Torrie spread eagle, then Sable steps into frame giving us the "View to a kill" angle. Sable makes innuendo at Torrie, then strips down in front of her, asking if she can change with her. Torrie says she can change wherever she wants, and heads out. Sable turns around showing us her little handfuls and asks if it was something she said.

Up Next: Pipers Pit!

Tonight’s Slam of the Week is Vince hustling Hogan into the limo from two weeks ago

They announce that Rikishi vs. O'Hare has been announced for Backlash.

A rolling of Drums and sounding of Bagpipes and that can only mean Piper is in the house!

Piper shoots on the internet fans a bit, then shows us the famous Coconut scene from 1984. Piper then shows us last weeks beat down on Rikishi. He then introduces this week’s guest on the Pit: The wrestler of the new millennium, Sean O'Hare! Sean is honored to stand in the ring with Hot Rod, and wants to learn from the only man more evil than he is. They share a moment, but that's interrupted by the return of SUPERFLY! Jimmy Snuka is out, and the fans eat it up! Roddy tries to beg off (Crowd chanting Snuka! "I agree with them! Whatever the morons are saying, I agree with them!") Snuka tells Roddy that there is a problem here. Sean looks to get all in Snuka's area, but Hot rod calls him off. Roddy suggest that they bury the coconut. Err... hatchet, and offers the hand of friendship, which Snuka doesn't take. Roddy pauses for a second, then throws a right, which is blocked, and Snuka lays into him! Sean jumps right in, tho. Snuka no sells a right, but falls to a kick. They go to beat Snuka down, but Rikishi is out for the save. Rikishi takes out Sean, and then goes after Roddy. Sean attacks from behind tho, and Roddy and Sean leave Rikishi and Snuka lying. They also left the mic in the ring, and Rikishi uses it to tell Sean that at Backlash his ass belongs to Rikishi, and then he challenges Roddy to a match next week. Heels are indignant, and we go to commercial.

Up next, Nidia vs. Torrie.

Back from commercial, Torrie signed some Playboys in New York last week.

Back to the arena, and Torrie is out to take on Nidia. They stop to wonder where the ref is, and a big cat roar answers that question, as Sable is the special referee tonight. Sable and Torrie lock gazes, allowing Nidia to get a sneak attack in. A quick Northern Lights suplex gets 1 on the pin. Nidia has control until Torrie turns the tide with a flying body press. Cover gets two. Torrie with the Knife-edges, a snap mare, and a dropkick to set up another pin attempt, this one getting 2. Nidia sent to the corner, and Torrie goes for a monkey flip, but Nidia grabs her and sets her on the top rope. Nidia tries for some offense, but Torrie comes back, hits the tornado DDT, and covers. Jamie tries to run in, but eats a Baseball slide from Sable to knock him back out. 1-2-3! Torrie wins! Torrie up, and keeping her distance from Sable, but Sable insists on raising her hand. She parades her around for a bit, and then we break for commercial, but not before more hype for the Benoit Cena match later.

We're back, and Matt Hardy: Version 1.0 (W/ Shannon and the following Matt Facts: Matt really digs his book, and Matt's favorite sushi is Freshwater Eel [good taste, the Matt]) to take on Brian Kendrick in a cruiserweight championship match up. Brian strikes early with a quick rollup that gets none. Hits a Backslide that gets 2, then goes to whip off the ropes, but he's tripped up by Shannon. He turns to take a swipe at him, and Matt takes advantage. Whip off the ropes, Brian ducks a clothesline and dives out the ring onto Shannon, taking him out. Matt goes after him, and Brian hangman’s him on the top rope. Brian up top, but Matt ducks a dropkick attempt. Matt covers, but Brian kicks out. Brian hotshotted on the top rope, then clotheslined out of his boots. Cover gets two. A Pair of snapmares for Brian, then the full nelson slapped on. Brian fights his way back out with some elbows. Matt reverses a whip, but runs into a boot. Brian climbs up, but Matt stops him and goes for a crucifix power bomb, but Brian kicks his way out of that. Matt slaps on another full Nelson, but Brian runs up the turnbuckles and reverses out in one smooth motion into a DDT. Both men down, Brian grabs the cover, but Matt kicks out. Both men up, Brian kicks Matt in the mush and goes for Sliced Bread #2, but Matt shoves Brian off, only to eat a leg lariat. Shining Wizard, cover gets two. Brian picks Matt up and hits what looks like a neck breaker into a jawbreaker across his knee. Brian up top, SAVAGE ELBOW! Cover, only 2! Brian attempting Sliced bread #2 again, but Matt counters with a twist of fate, and in a split second, they exchange spots! One second, Matt is closer to the entrance ramp, the next, Brian is. Cover, 1-2-3, Matt retains. (Onsite Report: The ending looked like it was supposed to be a Reversal into a twist of fate off the top rope, but the spot got blown, so Matt opted to simply hit the TOF and end it there, thus explaining the sudden switch of the wrestlers positions.) After the match, Matt is visibly shaken, but can still hold the belt high.

Backstage, Nunzio is uncertain about his match against Nathan Jones next. FBI has his back, tho.

Back from commercial, and the APA visited the military hospital and hung out at the National Cemetery 2 weeks ago.

Back live, and Nunzio is out for his ass whuppin! Nathan is out. You know, when he does his little move on the top of the ramp, he looks like a bobble head doll. Nunzio tries to attack to start, but Nathan shrugs him off easily. Nathan Tosses Nunzio around for about a minute before the rest of FBI comes out to assist. This is unsuccessful until Nathan eats a jungle kick from Chuck. The beat him down, ending with them pillmanizing Jones' leg on the ring steps.

Up next, Benoit vs. Cena!

Another promo for Mr. America. This is going to be so over the top if they do it the way I think they will.

In Nashville next week, Rikishi will be taking on Roddy Piper.

Main Event time. Cena is out, and makes fun of his missing tooth, and calls him a Dynamite Kid rip-off. Benoit is out, and he doesn't rap, opting to kick ass instead.

Lockup, Cena forcing Benoit into the corner, Benoit gets out with an arm drag. Both men up, Benoit with the side headlock. Shoved off, but hits a big shoulder block. He grabs Cena and locks in a hammerlock. Benoit wrestling him down. Benoit with the knife-edges. Going for a German, but Cena grabs the ref and delivers a mule kick. Cover, gets two. Cena up and slapping in the headlock. Benoit up, elbows to the gut, but Cena knocks him back down. Cover gets 2. Back to the headlock, But Benoit fights back, and gives Cena some more knife-edges. Cena surprises him with a rollup, Benoit kicks out and returns the favor with a crossface, but Cena gets to the ropes and Benoit has to break. Cena bails, and Benoit dives through the ropes to take Cena out, and we go to commercial!

Back from commercial, and Benoit is going for a cover, but that only gets 2. Cover again, only gets 2. Benoit locking in a top wristlock. Cena forced into the corner, hits a few knees, whips Cena into the opposite corner. Charge meets a Cena boot, and then gets hotshotted on the top rope, then hangmaned. Jumping snap mare, cover, 2. Cena locks in the head vice, Benoit fighting out again, sweeping his legs out from under him. Benoit with the knife-edges in the corner, but Cena drops down and hits a drop toehold to send Benoit into the ropes. Cena up, kneeing Benoit in the face. Cena up on the 2d turnbuckle, guillotine leg drop across Benoit's head. Benoit rolled back in, cover, gets two. Cena with a crossface of his own. Benoit gets out with a belly to back suplex. Count is on, ref gets to 5 and they slug it out, Benoit getting the better. Exploding clothesline, snap suplex, pin, gets two. Cena comes back, gets a turning backdrop, cover, and gets 2. Cena with the blatant choke. Benoit rammed into the corner, but forearms his way out, hits a quick German, and signals for the flying head butt! Benoit up, he dives, and misses! Cena tries to take advantage, but Benoit locks in a crossface. Cena inches to the ropes, finally making it. Benoit all over him with the boots, pounding on Cena's back. Cena comes back and attempts the DVD, but Benoit elbows his way out and tries a victory roll, but Cena sits down, hooks Benoit’s legs, and gets the pin! Cena hightails it out of there, and poses on the ramp while Benoit seethes in the ring. Fade out, patriotic WWE logo, and that's it. (Onsite Report: the Main Event match was a couple minutes longer live, with a bit more rest holding, and a good 20 seconds of Benoit soaking in the crowds encouragement before doing the throat slash to signal for the flying head butt. Also, after the cameras went off and Cena left, the crowd gave Benoit a standing ovation, which Benoit looked genuinely moved by. He posed and that was it.)

Decent show, but there really wasn't anything that had any tremendous spark to it. The matches were good, but it looks like the Smackdown creative team is taking a storytelling break, simply going through the motions and letting the wrestlers run on autopilot. Roddy was especially entertaining tonight, tho, with a lot of subtle nuances and turns of the phrase that couldn't be adequately captured here. Apart from that, very by the numbers show tonight, but fortunately for Smackdown, those numbers are pretty high.

E-MAIL BIG DANNY T.
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