by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

WWE leader, and we are looking at the SHOCKING events that led to Eddie and Chavo Guererro breaking up, and Kurt Angle’s timely intervention.

Smackdown Opening, Pyro, and we are LIVE (taped) from Huntsville Alabama. You know, something tells me that hometown boy Hardcore Holly will be making an appearance. Tazz and Cole confirm this by letting us know that Holly and the Big Show will be having a street fight later tonight.

But right now, Kurt Angle is out. He waves to a section full of servicemen (probably from Redstone Arsenal), and lets them know they rule. He reiterates that He has entered into the Royal Rumble, and moves on to say that he’ll be damned if he lets one of the greatest tag teams in the WWE break up, so he calls Chavo out so some air can be cleared. Chavo comes out, and Kurt says that while Chavo may be right, he owes Eddie a public apology for slapping him last week. Chavo blanches at the prospect, saying that he was in the right because the slap last week was an example of tough love. He says that if Eddie were here, he’d slap him again, and he’s about to slap Kurt Angle! Kurt says he just wants Chavo to do the right thing. This brings Eddie out and he is in Ass-whoopin’ mode. Chavo bails and Kurt holds him back. Kurt, trying to play peacemaker, gets the two of them in the ring, and asks them who’s going to be the better man and extend the hand of friendship first. Chavo thrusts his hand out quick. Eddie is hesitant to take the offered hand. Kurt reminds Eddie that Chavo was there for him when he was at rock bottom, and entreats him to do the right thing. Eddie grudgingly takes Chavo’s hand, and Eddie raises both their arms high, but neither of them looks like they are enjoying this decision.

Last week, Hardcore Holly busted Big Show open with repeated chair shots. Backstage, Josh asks Big Show why he requested not only a rematch, but also a street fight. Big Show produces the steel chair that did the damage last week and says that if that’s the way Holly wants to play, then that’s the way he’ll get it, and tonight, Hardcore Holly is getting taken out!

Commercials. You know, the anti Marijuana commercials are starting to get more and more inane again.

Oh, and a quick Jay digression: “YOU WERE THE BOMB IN PHANTOMS, AFFLECK!”

Back, and Rikishi gives us some quick WrestleCrap materiel with his singing. Hasn’t the WWE learned their lesson with previous albums?

Out to the ring, Chris Benoit is out for a match. When his opponent is announced, Paul Heyman is out to show off his twisted finger from last week and dick with Chris’s day. He’s decided to make a mini Royal Rumble with Chris vs. the FBI.

First up: Johnny the Bull.

Johnny slides in under the ropes, and Benoit goes nuts on him, brawling him down, a quick snap suplex, some knife edges, a cross corner whip, and Benoit tries to dump Johnny, but he resists and elbows his way out and not Johnny tries to dump Benoit out. When it doesn’t work, Johnny tries to brawl Benoit down, but Benoit comes back and locks in a sharpshooter. Johnny tries to tap out, but the buzzer rings and…

Next up: Chuck Palumbo.

Chuck slides in and they trade fisticuffs, with Chuck getting the better of the exchange. Benoit gets a suplex out of nowhere to buy some time. Bull up and going after Benoit, but Benoit gets a gutshot, lifts him up and hangs him on the top rope. Chuck back up and they are brawling again, in the middle of all this, Benoit baseball slides Johnny’s legs out from under him and Johnny gets eliminated. Chuck goes after Benoit again, but Benoit locks in the crossface with 10 seconds to go until…

Next up: Nunzio

Nunzio slides in and is stopped dead in his tracks when he comes face to face with Benoit in the middle of the ring. Nunzio tries to escape, but Benoit grabs him and starts the beat down in the corner. Chuck is back up soon enough, tho, and the double team gets to be too much for Benoit. After a big slam, Nunzio goes to hold the ropes down as Chuck tosses Benoit, but Benoit reverses and Chuck goes flying. He hangs on, but as Nunzio tries to help, Benoit comes from behind and eliminates him. Chuck back in, and they brawl for a bit more, until Chuck gets a powerbomb attempt. Benoit pummels his way out of it, reversing with a ‘rana. Chuck comes back with a Samoan drop. Paul, up on the ramp, screams for Chuck to throw him out, but Chuck wants a jungle kick. Benoit back up, but he ducks the kick and locks in a German. Chuck squirms away from that, but Benoit pulls him to the ropes and gets a northern lights suplex instead to eliminate Chuck. Benoit stands victorious, and Heyman gives us, “Yeah, you got me again!” as we go to commercial.

Back, and Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty are out to take on the Bashams for the Tag Titles. The Bashams music starts playing and Shaniqua comes out with the titles, but it’s a DIRTY SNEAK ATTACK as the Bashams come from the crowd and beat the challengers down. A couple cheap shots on Scotty followed by a ball and gag on Rikishi and this is a no contest. Bashams are about to go and celebrate when Kurt Angle’s music starts up. Kurt is out and apparently he’s been having a pow wow with Paul Heyman and in the 14 seconds between them taking out Rikishi and Scotty, they came to the decision that the Bashams will defend their titles against Los Guererros NEXT!

Back, and Los Guererros are out in the standard Low rider. Los Guererros in the ring, and the Bashams are cowering in their corner. Bell rings, and Eddie and Danny start. They circle, lockup, and Danny gets a side headlock that Eddie shoves off. Lock up again, and they chain wrestle a bit until Eddie gets a shoulder block. Tag to Chavo, and Chavo with the boots in the corner. Bodyslam, tag, and Eddie sentons in. cover, gets two. Tag to Chavo, and double-teaming gets 2 on the cover. Chavo gets a couple small packages for 2. Danny maneuvers Chavo into the corner, and the tag to Doug is made. Chavo gets the better of him, tho, and he gets him in the corner where Eddie chokes him out with the tag rope. A couple of false tags don’t work until Eddie calls the ref’s attention to him. Eddie taking Doug down, going for the frogsplash, but Danny drags him out. Eddie out and dragging him back in. Eddie with the kicks and right hands. Shaniqua up on the apron to distract the ref as Eddie starts a whip. Danny holds the ropes as Doug reverses and Eddie goes over the top rope and takes a header onto the floor. Everyone is recovering as we go to commercial.

Back, and the Bashams have Eddie in the middle of the ring and Danny is delivering multiple axe handles to Eddies back as Doug holds him down. Eddie tried to get away, but Doug drags him back and locks in a half crab. Eddie makes the ropes, so Doug drags him back across the ring and tags Danny in. Danny with the half crab. Doug gets an axe handle on eddies back while the ref is distracted again. Eddie grabs the ropes, but Doug kicks it off. The ref breaks the hold anyway. Tag to Doug. They take turns pounding Eddie down, Eddie getting a couple brief hope spots before being dragged back across the ring. Chavo is going nuts in his corner, and the crowd actually starts chanting “Chavo!” Eddie still being manhandled by the Bashams. Danny gets a powerbomb, only gets two on the cover. Surfboard slapped on, but Eddie powers out and gets a dropkick. Tag to Doug who tries to drag Eddie back out again, but Eddie shoves him off and gets the tag to Chavo! Chavo in and he’s A BALL O FAR! Dropkick for Doug, spinning DDT for Danny, cover gets 2. Chavo continues the beatdown on Danny. Doug back in and briefly turns the tide to the Bashams side, but as Chavo was set up for the Ball and Gag, Eddie yanks Doug out and lays him out outside the ring. Eddie in, and a double dropkick on Danny to send him out. Eddie goes to take care of Doug and Chavo goes to roll Danny back in. Danny takes a shoulder to the gut, and Chavo tries a victory roll, but Danny sits down and with the help of Shaniqua and the ropes, gets the pin to retain the titles.

Chavo can’t believe it, but Doug is back in to clothesline him out of the ring. Eddie is in right after, but gets triple teamed. Chavo recovers outside, sees what’s happening and grabs a steel chair…

…And puts it right back down and sits in it. As the Bashams put Eddie into a double Half Crab, Chavo watches on, getting angrier and angrier. Finally, the Bashams finish with Eddie and leave. Chavo into the ring. He helps Eddie up, and after checking to see if he’s all right, levels him with a right. Not content to leave him lying, he straddles him and begins pounding Eddie in the head. After a few more hits, Chavo goes to leave, and comes back for one last kick to the head. Chavo then leaves to an ‘Asshole’ chant, taking the Lowrider with him as Eddie bleeds in the ring.

Moments Ago, Chavo did not nice things to his uncle, and then left with the Low Rider.

Back to the ring, and A-Train is in the ring. John Cena is out with a mic. He gets some good cheap pops, says that A-Train is a wookie, but he’s going to make him into an Ewok. No “Rhyme along with John” word of the night, tho.

Cena in the ring, and brawling leads to a quick FU attempt.  A-Train wriggles out and starts brawling John down. Double underhook suplex leads to a facelock. Cena makes the ropes. Cena choked out on the ropes. Ref breaks them up, and Cena back up to trade fisticuffs, getting the better of A-Train. A-Train knocked down and Cena to the top rope. Quick pump up of the Nike’s, and Cena drops the elbow on the back of A-Train as he tries to get back up. Shuffling fist drop and Cena back up to draw cheers. A-Train back up and trying a clothesline. Cena ducks, “you can’t see me!”, FU finishes it and it’s back to Velocity for A-Train.

Backstage, Eddie’s tears mix with his blood as the trainer looks at him. Kurt shows up and can’t apologize enough. He says that he shouldn’t have stuck his nose in where it didn’t belong, and he should have let Eddie tear Chavo apart. Kurt awkwardly excuses himself and we go to commercial with Eddie crying.

Back from commercials, and a quick camera sweep over the crowd confirms my guess that the troops are from Redstone Arsenal.

Rey Mysterio is out for a non-title contest against Akio (W/ Sakoda). Akio runs into the ring and right into a drop toehold. Flippy floppy action ends up with Rey with a side headlock, but Akio powers out and gets a body slam. Fast paced action follows until a minor ref pump allows Sakoda to interfere and let Akio take advantage. Rey hung in the tree of woe and Akio going for the baseball slide, but Rey sits up and Akio makes his own wish on the post. Rey on the attack, getting a springboard cross body to get two. Spinning DDT gets 2. Rey charges in, and Akio puts him on the top rope. Rey kicks him off and tries to fly, but Akio floors him with a spinning roundhouse in mid air. Sakoda tries to interfere again, but Rey drop toe holds Akio into Sakoda and the resulting meeting of the minds sets them up for a double 6-1-9, which Rey is happy to deliver. One quick West coast pop later (which kinda looked scary because Akio was about half a step too far away), and Rey gets the 1-2-3. Sakoda in the ring after Rey, but Rey is too fast for him.

Elsewhere, Billy Gunn graces our screen to give us #3 in the Billy Gunn Top 3, which is the Smoking Gunn’s first tag title win from Bob Holly and some guy called the 1-2-3 Kid. Be sure to stay tuned in next week for #2! Make your own jokes.

Back from commercials, and Josh is begging Bob Holly not to beat him down, also asking him about his thoughts on the street fight. Bob promises that Tonight Big Show is going to find out what an Alabama Ass Whipping is all about.

Elsewhere, Nidia calls and leaves a message for Jamie, who hasn’t shown up yet, and nobody’s seen for a couple weeks. Paul Heyman appears out of nowhere and informs Nidia that if Jamie doesn’t show up for his match, which is next, then Paul is going to have to find a suitable replacement. And that ‘suitable replacement’ will be Nidia.

This weeks Wrestlemania Recap is LT taking on Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania 11.

Back live, and Tajiri is out to take on Jamie Knoble. Jamie’s music hits, but no Jamie. After a few seconds of no action, Paul Heyman starts escorting Nidia to the ring. Nidia is protesting, but Paul leads her on. Paul puts her in the ring, takes her cane (“No Weapons in my match!”) and orders the bell rung. Nidia flails around a bit but Tajiri moves in and makes the segment mercifully short, pinning her after a fireman’s carry slam. Tajiri sets up for the buzzsaw kick, but Rey speeds out to stop this and chase Tajiri off. As he and the Ref are getting Nidia safely out of the ring, Jamie Knoble finally shows up and takes over from Rey. While he’s consoling Nidia, Rey is about to leave, but Jamie spins and lays him out and gives us “Evil conniving boyfriend.”

Quick hype for the Street fight up next, and we are off to commercial.

Back from commercials, and Whoa! The Pain (AKA Brock Lesnar) is out and he makes himself comfortable on the 3^rd headset with Tazz and Cole. Cole asks him what he’s doing out here, Brock answers that he’s just wanting to see Bob Holly get his ass whooped.

Big Show is out first, and he readies the ring by throwing the assembled weaponry outside the ring into it. He stands guard in front of the ring with a steel chair as Hardcore Holly makes his entrance. Big Show meets him halfway up the ramp and makes a haymaker swing with the chair that Holly ducks and they start brawling. Cole lets us know that in this street fight, the pinfall has to occur in the ring (unlike your standard street fight). Big Show gets the better of Holly, and gets him in the ring, where he continues with the big slaps and headbutts. Holly tossed out of the ring, and as Big Show goes after him, Holly grabs a chair and lays Big Show out. At this point, Holly gets tired of Brock’s commentary (which up to this point has consisted of, “Holly’s gonna get his ass kicked!” over and over again) and dives on Brock, delivering a flurry of rights. Big Show pulls Holly off as Cole accuses Tazz of kissing Brocks ass. More of Big Show pounding down on Holly until he goes for the Choke Slam. Holly has a can of mace, which he uses on Big Show while in the air. Holly picks up a chair, gives Show a couple of shots to take him down, then opens the chair and literally wraps it around Big Show’s neck and locks in a modified surfboard that has Big Show tapping out in short order.

After the match, Holly takes the chair and chases after Brock, who hightails it out through the crowd. We fade out with Holly standing on the announce table and holding his chair high.

Real good show this week. Of course, the most compelling point this week is Chavo’s full heel turn on Eddie, which should lead to some awesome matches down the road. Benoit looked good, as usual, in the mini rumble, the Non Title match for the Cruiserweight title was good fun, and Big Show vs. Holly was about 10 times better this week than it was last week. The low points: Nidia and her continued blindness. I know it’s all a part of the continued dickification of Jamie, but I personally could have lived without the ‘match’ against Tajiri. Rikishi and Scotty have become irrelevant to actual Smackdown storylines in record time, and Cena/A-Train, while slightly entertaining, reeked of ‘filler.’ I’m neutral on the Billy Gunn’s Greatest Hits package. I’ve always found him solidly OK as a wrestler and entertainer. Not spectacular, but not offensive, either (except when he’s sucking face with Torrie.) We’ll see if he does anything more significant with this return than a foursome with Jamie and Nidia.

E-MAIL BIG DANNY T.
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