by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

5 Minutes out: Will WWE Champion Eddie Guererro make it to Wrestlemania to defend the title? Find out, Next!

WWE Leader (when the hell are they going to get rid of that Tough Enough logo that’s still being prominently displayed?

Last Monday, Steve Austin was pissed, and promised to come and get his 4-wheeler back tonight!

Opening, Pyro, and we are LIVE (taped) from, Atlantic City, NJ (“If the water doesn’t’ kill you, then the muggers will!”  I keed!)

John Cena is down right off the bat and has some rappage for us. Atlantic City gets the “Damn Straight!” right off the bat, and Cena lays into Big Show, comparing him to Gastinau and saying he’ll eat anything, even Poker Chips. Unfortunately, no “Rhyme along with John” word for us tonight.

Rhyno is down and the match is underway. Lockup, and Cena works Rhyno into the corner, and begins laying into him with the rights. Bodyslam, Cover, only 2. Rhyno gets some offense in, but Cena comes back with a gutshot, Throwback, and cover that only gets 2. Rhyno trying for a suplex, but Cena reverses, but walks into a spinebuster. Both men up, and Rhyno is working on Cenas knee. Cena suddenly forgets that he’s got a bad wheel and takes over. Turnaround slam, 5-knuckle shuffle, FU, and that’s all she wrote. Cole wonders if Cena can FU the Big Show, apparently not remembering that he actually HAS done it. Cena parties with the fans for a second…

When we go backstage and Funaki, Orlando Jordan, Bob Holly, Billy Gunn, and Rey Mysterio are walking. Dawn Marie informs them that Paul Heyman has called a meeting of all the Smackdown Superstars and it’s coming up next. Billy relives his New Age Outlaws days for a second by telling Bob, ‘Oh you didn’t know?” and we break for commercial as everyone enters the locker room.

WRESTLEMANIA IS IN 3 DAYS! Just thought you should know.

Paul Heyman has the Smackdown superstars assembled. Face on one side, heels on the other, Big Show is the great divider. He realizes that not everyone agrees that he should have fought Eddie last week. But he did it for the best interests of Smackdown. You see, Smackdown is allows Sakoda to buy clothes for his wife and to allow Jamie Knoble to save money to send his kids to college. And now, someone is going to come here and take that money away, and that person, is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, that’s not going to happen, because the superstars are going to be on the lookout for Stone Cold and prevent him from coming and taking back his property. You see, Brock Lesnar is Smackdown! And no Raw interloper is going to mess with the Smackdown peeps! Paul gives us hellfire and brimstone, but it looks like Stone Cold snuck in under their noses, as out in the parking level, we spy Stone Cold’s truck. Tazz and Cole have aneurisms as we go to commercial.

Back, and we go over the Hall of fame inductees (It’s still weird to see Pete Rose amongst the inductees), and Chavo’s Sr. and Jr. are at the commentary desk to talk about the match coming up.

Rey Mysterio is taking on Jamie Knoble. Lockup, and Jamie tries to wrestle Rey down. Rey gets out, but Jamie takes him down again. Rey reverses a hammerlock, firemans takeover, and Jamie is back in control. Jamie tries to force Rey’s shoulders down, but Rey kicks up and bulldogs Jamie down for 2. Rey going up top, but Jamie meets him there and chops him. Jamie attempting the superplex, but Mysterio shoves him off. Rey diving after, but Jamie gets a knee up. Cover gets 2. Jamie punching and kicking Rey for a bit, then slapping on the abdominal stretch. Rey counters with a bulldog. Both men up and slugging it out. Rey gets boosted up to the top rope and hits a sweet moonsault for 2. They brawl for a second, and Jamie gets set up for the 6-1-9, but before he can execute, Tajiri, Akio, and Sakoda run in and schmozz things out. Funaki, Kidman, and Ultimo Dragon run in to even the odds, and everyone is fighting. Referee Charles Robinson finally has enough and calls for the bell, has a few words with the announcer, and it is announced that the match will now be an 8-man Tag Match. Just so that everyone can get organized, we go to commercial.

Back and Tajiri and Dragon are flying around each other. Dragon runs into a boot, and reverses a sunset flip and gives Tajiri a Boot to the Head (Yaa! Yaa!) Tag to Kidman, who beats on Tajiri some, tag to Funaki, who beats on him some more. Heel shenanigans get the better of Funaki who is not the face in peril. Akio locks in a cross arm back breaker and gets a couple 2-counts. Sakoda in and he brutalizes Funaki a bit, hanging him in the tree of woe. Jamie holds Funaki’s head as Tajiri baseball slides him. Funaki getting a small hope spot, but Sakoda beating him down again. Jamie tagged in, and he takes Funaki apart with clotheslines and legdrops. Half-nelson sleeper applied, Funaki fights out, and monkey flips Jamie into the turnbuckle. Jamie gets a quick spinebuster and both men collapse. Funaki is able to crawl to his corner and tag Rey in. Rey has spinning heel kicks for everyone. Rey has Jamie rolled up when the rest of the bad guys run in, coaxing the good guys in and everyone GETS ROWDY! All the incidental players brawl themselves out of the ring, and Rey finally hits the 6-1-9, followed by the West Coast Pop and Rey picks up the win. Chavo into the ring afterwards and after some standing off, Shannon Moore hits the ring to lay Rey out. As Chavo is cheering Shannon on, Nunzio runs out and Chavo eats an elbow and everyone is brawling with everyone else.

Backstage, Johnny the Bull and Chuck Palumbo are watching the action when Paul stops by and gives them their props. They banter for a bit when the radio crackles to life and someone has spotted Stone Cold. Of course, he’s by the beer stand, and Paul orders whomever it is to keep an eye on him and he goes running off, calling for Brock.

Back from Commercials, and last week on Smackdown, people were shamed by Eddie Guererros rep. Oh, and Eddie fell into the oldest trick in the book (let himself get handcuffed during a match) and caught a beatdown from Kurt for his troubles.

Back live, and Eddie is out with a low rider from www.lowrollers.com. He’s going to be taking on Shelton Benjamin in a non-title contest. But first, Eddie has something to say. He calls the title belt his little friend, and has something to say about Kurt Angle. They said Kurt isn’t here tonight, but Eddie isn’t buying it for a microsecond. He starts calling Kurt out, using his own logic: Here’s your chance, Kurt! Come on down and rid the world of the champion that encourages people to lie, cheat, and steal. He says Kurt doesn’t have any juevos, and that he’s all hypocritical talk. He calls Kurt out one more time, and says that after Wrestlemania, he’s going to Lie more than ever, he’s going to cheat more than ever, and he’s going to steal more than ever, Viva la Rasa!

Shelton is down (W/ Charlie Haas) and they start into the Mat wrestling right off the bat. Shelton gets a shoulderblock, cover only gets 2. Shelton putting Eddie in the corner, but Eddie coming out and taking it to Shelton. Monkey flip lands Shelton on his feet, but a back body drop hits correctly. Charlie tries to interfere, but Eddie chases him off. Eddie brawling Shelton down, finally tossing Shelton out. Charlie tries to intervene again, and Referee Nick Patrick has had enough and sends Charlie to the back as we go to commercial.

Back, and Eddie puts Shelton down with a back elbow, then locking in an abdominal stretch. Shelton gets a hip toss to get out of it, and tries to charge Eddie in the corner, But Eddie Dodges and Shelton eats post. Eddie tries to capitalize, but Shelton gets a spinebuster and turns the tide back. Shelton with right hands to put Eddie down. Shelton talks some trash, throws another punch, but Eddie is instantly back up and taunting Shelton. Eddie with the Iblockyourpunchbutyoudon’tblockmine and he hulks up. Shelton gets a shoulderblock that takes Nick out. This brings Charlie down and he slides the World Title belt to Shelton. Shelton moves to clock Eddie with it, but eats a dropkick instead. Charlie runs around the ring and tries to slide in and grab the belt, but Eddie is too quick for him and clocks Charlie with it. Shelton is staggering back to his feet, so Eddie puts him down with it as well. Eddie sees that Nick Patrick is about to wake up, so he tosses the title away and plays dead himself. Nick starts the count, and at 4, Eddie gets up and climbs up top. One frogsplash later, and Eddie picks up the win. As Eddie is celebrating, tho, Kurt finally decides to make his appearance at the top of the ramp. After a few seconds of staredown, Kurt simply makes the “The Belt is mine” gesture and walks off. Eddie rants in the ring and we break for commercial.

Back from commercials, and we cut to the Playboy Celebration where Sable and Torrie played around a bit, signed a couple boobies, and danced the night away.

Back at the arena, and Paul finds out that the guards have lost Stone Cold. He bumps into Orlando Jordan, who lets him know that he’s got a lot of respect for Stone Cold. Paul tells him that either he’s respecting Stone Cold, or he’s respecting Smackdown. Paul brings Jordan’s career into question, then storms off screaming into the radio about stone Cold’s whereabouts.

“Weeeelll!” The Big show is out to take on 2 guys. Nothing of note happens, as Big Show squashes them and pins both of them. Cena runs out afterwards and applies a nifty little beatdown on Big Show and grabs the title for himself. Cena stalks out holding the title high, and Big Show gives us, “Pissed off’ on the smackatron.

Back from the ads, and last week, The Worlds Greatest Tag Team made fun of the APA.

Backstage, Paul is thanking someone for something when he runs across the APA. He says that he put them in the 4-way challenge at Wrestlemania because it’s good for Smackdown, and he just knows that APA will do whets good for Smackdown tonight. Bradshaw tells him that they’ll do what's good for Smackdown, and to never question their loyalty again. This satisfies Paul and he heads off.

Out in the ring, Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty are taking on The Bashams. Scotty and Danny start. Doug gets a cheap shot to start, and Danny ties to work Scotty over in the corner. Scotty comes back with some chops and works a headlock, but Doug gets a blind tag and kicks Scotty in the head as he’s got Danny rolled up. Doug beating on Scotty, tag to Danny, Danny locks in a reverse chin-lock. Scotty rolls out of it and tries to leap for the tag, but Danny catches him and drags him back to his corner. Tag to Doug, who beats on Scotty, Tag to Danny, who beats on him some more. Scotty fights his way out and dodges a Danny charge. Tag to Rikishi, and Rikishi is a ball o far! Squash on Danny in the corner, and as Danny staggers in the corner, Doug jumps up and shoves him out and flops down. Rikishi makes to stinkface, but Doug charges up... right into savate kick. Cover, and the champs pick up the win.

Tazz and Cole throw us to the video package of the hostilities between Goldberg/Lesnar.

Back, and just in case you missed it Monday, here’s Kane wrasslin a Casket. The casket was definitely in the top 5 workers that night.

Recap of the Wrestlemania matches. Man, Victoria has the goofiest smile.

Well, after the Wrestlemania Hype, Paul Heyman is out and the locker room follows. Paul assembles his troops around the ring and we break for commercial.

Back, and after a quick pan down the gauntlet of superstars, Paul reiterates that Stone Cold is in the building and he means nothing but trouble. But someone else is here as well: the very embodiment of Paul Heymans vision for Smackdown: Brock Lesnar!

Brock comes down in the 4-wheeler (and wow, not a single one of the superstars flinch as he rides by them.) Brock is in the ring and he proclaims it his ring. He says that the superstars assembled all have respect for Brock because they’ve all appeared in the same ring as him. He says that the 4-Wheeler is his again, and calls Stone Cold out. After a brief pause, Stone Cold makes his appearance in his truck. Stone cold hits the ramp, and one by one, stares down all the superstars and they part the way for him. Halfway down, Paul tells them to, “Get him!” Stone cold goes defensive, but nobody jumps. Stone Cold makes his way the rest of the way down the ramp and goes face to face with Big Show. They stare each other down for a few seconds, and then Big Show gives Stone Cold the go ahead, and leads the rest of the wrestlers back to the back.

Paul is going apeshit in the ring and Brock is waiting on Stone Cold to make his move. After teasing getting in the ring a couple times, Stone Cold simply turns around, gets on the 4-Wheeler, and drives up the ramp, flipping the bird to Brock at the same time. Halfway up, Stone Cold stops, Turns the engine off, and very deliberately puts the key into his pocket. Brock is now out of the ring and they are staring each other down as they step up to each other. Once they are in arms reach, the fists fly. Stone Cold gets the better of the exchange and rams Brock into a ringpost. Stone Cold into the ring, and Paul are trying to beg off. Stone Cold is deaf to his cries of mercy and gives him a stunner that sends him out of the ring. Brock has recovered tho, and shoulders Stone Cold into the corner. Stone Cold fights back, and as Brock picks him up for an F-5, Stone cold bails out, and it’s KICK! WHAM! Wait, Brock shoves Stone Cold off and bails, choosing discretion. Stone Cold follows, revs up the RV again, and decides to take another lap around, nearly running Paul over in the process, and loads the RV onto his truck. A couple celebratory beers to finish off, and we are out of here.

Where Raw seemed to fall somewhat short in it’s overall feel for a pre Wrestlemania show, Smackdown did it better. Not perfectly, mind you, but better. Smackdown suffered a but from the same, ‘Ok, Wrestlemania is set, put ‘er on autopilot” feeling, but just a couple more places they had some more oompff (Cena returning the favor to Big Show, the cruiserweight 8-Man/schmozz, Austin getting physical with Brock) really made the show stand out a little better. Oh yes, and the wrestling action wasn’t just a bunch of squashes either. Where Raw had a good match to open and a bunch of squashes for the rest of the show, Smackdown got it’s squash out of the way and put on good matches for the rest of the show (Excepting the Big Show bout.) I turned the TV off feeling good and looking forward to Wrestlemania a lot more than I did on Monday night.

Well, that’s it! Sunday at Hooters for Wrestlemania, and see ya next week!

E-MAIL BIG DANNY T.
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