by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Secondly: anyone have a good monitor that they are willing to let yours truly have for a song? This one is dying. You know how when your monitor warms up and it fades in? Well this one is currently getting to about half brightness and stopping. And yes, I’ve fiddled with the contrast and brightness, the monitor is 6 years old and almost as dead as one of the zombies in Dawn of the Dead (I loved that movie!)

Oh yeah, and just like The Rick has his Dayton Flyers, I shall take this moment to do some cheering of my own: Go Cubs!

Ok, enough shilling/begging. * Takes a sip of Sobe No Fear * On with the Recapping!

5-minutes out Bumper: Who will be the new superstars of Smackdown? In case you missed Monday, tune in, NEXT!

WWE Leader, and just in case you missed it on Monday, here’s the picks from Monday, including Paul’s quitting.

Smackdown opening, pyro, and we are LIVE (taped) from, Grand Rapids, MI.

“Time to play the game!” But Where’s HHH? Tazz and Cole are too busy orgasming over Smackdowns acquisition to realize that HHH is noticeably absent. That is until Kurt Angle (Dressed smartly in a suit) makes his way to the ring. He has a mic and soaks up a few boo’s and “You Suck!” chants. He knows we all expected HHH to some out, but first, there’s a pressing issue that needs to be discussed: who will be the new GM of Smackdown? Kurt has been pondering this himself, and is proud to announce that a new one has been selected. This new GM is someone with class. Their name is synonymous with wrestling, and they are not in this game for the money, they are in this for the good of everyone and are willing to sacrifice everything for this position. That person is Kurt Angle! Crowd turns on Kurt and he responds with an, “Oh it’s TRUE!” You see, Kurt is willing to put everything on hold for this, even his dreams of regaining the WWE championship. And unlike Paul, He won’t be intimidated by anyone. That’s’ why when HHH came to him and asked for a rematch against Eddie, he looked him straight in the eye and said, “No!” You see, HHH won’t even be on Smackdown tonight. In his first act as General Manager, he has traded HHH BACK to Raw. In exchange, he got the Dudley Boyz (their music plays, graphic plays, but no appearance yet), and the 5 Time WCW Champion:

Booker T (Who does make an appearance). Booker wishes that he could be excited, happy, and overjoyed to be here, but that’s not the truth. In the past 72 hours, his life has been turned upside down. Booker gets some heat by saying that the Raw Fans were better, they had more respect, and generally didn’t suck. He goes on to say that Smackdown, while there is a lot of talent there, is the minor leagues. He proceeds to say he’s better than Big Show, Undertaker, Eddie Guererro, et al.

Kurt takes the mic back and instantly agrees with him. He disagrees that Smackdown is the minor leagues, but agrees that Booker is better than everyone in the back (that’s why Kurt traded for him.) Kurt butters Booker up some more, and proclaims him as Smackdown’s new #1 superstar. As Booker heads to the back, he is getting mixed cheers and boos.

Up Next: RVD takes on Charlie Haas.

Apparently, over the weekend, WWE went to England in the Wrestlemania Revenge tour.

Rob Van Dam is out to take on Charlie Haas as both men set out on brand spanking new Singles careers. Barely a mention is made of RVD and Bookers history. Earlier today, RVD taped an interview letting us all know that he’s stoked to be a part of Smackdown.

RVD chant to start. Charlie shoves RVD, and RVD taunts with Points-to-self. Charlie steps in and grabs a side headlock. RVD shoves him off and we get some dueling hiptosses which ends in stalemate. Charlie going in again, this time getting a takedown which RVD squirms out of. RVD takes over with a back kick and a couple spin kicks. Charlie regains control by shoving RVD into the corner and laying in with a couple rights. RVD with a couple of hip tosses and he locks in an armbar. Charlie powers his way out but gets knocked down with a clothesline. RVD going for something off the top rope, but Charlie is too fast for him and shoves him off to the outside. Charlie immediately rolls him back in, wraps his leg around the bottom rope and works on the knee. Charlie locking in a seating half crab until RVD makes the ropes. Charlie tries to drag him out again, but RVD misses with an Enziguri, but connects with a back kick. RVD with the fisticuffs and Rolling Thunder. Charlie sent to the corner, but Charlie gets an elbow up. Charlie with a cover with both legs on the ropes, but Referee Brian Hebner sees this and pulls him off. Charlie argues with Brian for a second and goes back after RVD, who surprises him with a small package rollup for the pin. Play his music and it’s off to commercials.

Up next: the Raw Draftees bring even more excitement as the So-Called French Phenom, Rene DuPree makes his Smackdown Debut! Pass the popcorn!

Back, and Billy Kidman is out to take on Rene DuPree (W/ Fifi). Apparently he traded the Cap’n Crunch coat for a bathrobe. A really obnoxious rhinestone spangled bathrobe.

They lock up, break, and Rene dances his little dance, drawing the indifference of all. They counter each other’s hip toss attempts, and then Billy is up on Rene’s shoulders and punching him down. They brawl around a bit, out of the ring, and Rene slams Billy's back into the barricade. Back into the ring, and Rene works Billy’s back a bit. Rene doing and even gayer dance, then dropping a knee. Rene working Billy over until he charges right into an elbow. Billy comes out with rights and knocking Rene down, cover only gets 2, tho. Billy slingshots himself right into a powerslam, getting a 2-count for Rene. Rene works Billy over some more, ending with a reverse sitout powerbomb (wow, I guess you really CAN powerbomb Kidman!) Rene picks up the W, and his celebration is interrupted by John Cena. John lets Rene know that this is Smackdown, and here’s some small bits of advice for him.

Tazz is a thug, Michael Cole is Gay.

Don’t leave your Wallet or watch where Eddie Guererro can find it, apparently he still owes John $50 and is still in possession of his ID.

Don’t hit the bathroom after Big Show or Rikishi.

And stop checking John’s package out. He tells Rene that he can choke on “Deez Nutz!” and makes his exit. Not one of his better raps, for sure. We leave with Rene waving the flag proudly.

April 2nd. Hellboy or Walking Tall? Walking Tall or Hellboy. Damn, decisions decisions…

Back, and there’s a lovely shot of the outside of the arena. Last week, Undertaker let his displeasure with Paul Heyman show in the way of the Tombstone Piledriver.

Backstage, Josh has cornered Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty and is asking them about Paul quitting, and Kurt being plugged in. Rikishi blathers for a second or two, but Theodore Long interrupts and offers his services up for the Champs. He has some business cards (as Josh tries to take one, Theodore denies with a quick, ‘For playas only, cracka!” and then hands one to Scotty. Insert joke here.), and takes his leave. Rikishi and Scotty are amused by the cards.

Elsewhere, the new Smackdown Superstars are mingling with the cruiserweights. Eddie come in and meets and greets Orlando Jordan and Shannon Moore. He gives a quick bit of “points-to-self” respect for RVD, says hey to Rey Mysterio, gives his greeting in Japanese for Funaki, and has some love for Little Spike Dudley. He moves on to Booker T and only wants to make nice, but Booker isn’t having any of it. He reiterates that Smackdown is the Minor Leagues in his eyes, and calls Eddie a second rate champion. Eddie tries to laugh it off and say that booker DIDN’T just insult the Smackdown locker room and fans. Booker gets in his face and tells him he should consider himself insulted. Eddie chuckles real quick and he goes after Booker, causing a pull apart involving the whole locker room. As everyone is brawling, we head to commercial.

Moments ago, Eddie and Booker didn’t get off to a good start.

Out to the ring, and the Dudley Boyz are out to the ring to take on the Basham Brothers.

All four men waste no time brawling it up and Bubba and Danny end up alone in the ring. Bubba with a couple rights to the face, then a lockup and Bubba forcing Danny into the corner. Tag to D-Von and D-Von beating Danny down in the corner. Danny gets away and Doug gets tagged in. Doug gets a few seconds of offense in before D-Von takes over again. Tag to Bubba, and he works Doug over with some crossface forearms. Tag to D-Von and Danny rushes in to cause a distraction. Bubba rushes in a swell and while the ref is busy with him, Danny takes Doug’s place and starts working over D-Von, despite Bubbas protests. They work a bit of double-teaming on D-Von and Danny locks in an Ab-Stretch. D-von fights his way out and after a rope run, hits a shoulderblock to knock Danny down. Double tag, and Bubba has fisticuffs and backdrops for both Bashams. After some brawling, Danny falls victim to Whassup? And Doug eats a 3-D. Bubba covers, and draftees are 3-0 tonight.

Backstage, and Booker T is in Kurt’s office ranting about Eddie jumping him (unprovoked!) in the locker room. Kurt changes Bookers direction by explaining that at Wrestlemania, he beat Eddie to a pulp, then Eddie spent a week in Europe wrestling, and THEN on Monday night, Eddie wrestled HHH for the title and is tired and worn out. Booker wonders where Kurt is going with this, and Kurt informs him that even though Booker may not respect Eddie, by the end of the night, Eddie will have to respect the new WWE Champion. Booker smiles and takes his leave, and Kurt breathes a sigh of relief.

Back from commercials, and Chavo Guererro (W/ Sr.) is out to defend his Cruiserweight title against Spike Dudley (w/ Bubba and D-Von still at ringside).

They lockup and fight over a top wristlock. They trade hammerlocks and Chavo runs for the ropes to escape Spike. Spike unloading with the right hands and going for a Dudley Dawg early, but Chavo dumps him out of the ring. Bubba and D-Von chase off Sr., who protests the Boyz’s presence at ringside. Spike back in and Chavo stomping him down, and then getting an abdominal stretch. Spike fights his way out and hits an atomic drop. Spike up top and they fight over a superplex. Spike wins and hits the Spike stomp. Cover only gets two. Chavo gets up and attempts a Gory Special, but Spike reverses into a rollup that gets two. Outside of the ring, D-Von and Bubba severely oversell their anguish at Spike not getting that pin. More brawling, and Chavo hoists Spike up and hits a T-Bone backbreaker and covers for the pin. Well, so much for the draftees perfect record tonight.

Back, and Tazz and Cole gush about the draft some more, then send us to last week where Farooq was fired rather unceremoniously, and Bradshaw opted to stay on, despite Farooq’s protestations. “Damn!”

Out to the ring, and Bradshaw has a new look (3-piece suit and white Stetson hat,) new ring music, and he’s now going by John “Bradshaw” Layfield. John just wants to explain, because he’s been horribly misunderstood. Now that Paul Heyman has quit, He sees this as an opportunity to potentially get Ron Simmons’s job back, to make sure that the APA doesn’t die (Drawing cheers.) But he’s not going to do that (Drawing boo’s now). You see, John has a book out and he’s writing another. He’s on Fox News, he’s about to have his own radio show (“We’ll be talking about politics and finances, you people will love it!”), and he’s not about to give it up for Ron. The crowd turns on him as he fellates himself verbally with how great he is. He prides himself on working harder then everyone around him, that’s why he’s called an impact player. He’s succeeded in everything he’s ever put himself to, except wrestling. But all that’s about to change. John dedicates himself to making an impact and waves his hat to all of us as he takes his exit.

Up Next, Eddie Guererro defends his title against Booker T.

Backstage, Booker T is walking around and he runs face to face with Bob Holly. Bob and the rest of the Smackdown Superstars didn’t particularly like what Booker had to say earlier tonight. Booker tries to step past, but Bob has some final words: After Eddie is finished with Booker, then the rest of the superstars are going to have their way with him. In the background, Paul London nods vigorously.

After a brief shot of Eddie getting manhandled Monday night by HHH, we come back and Booker T is out to challenge Eddie Guererro for the WWE Championship. After Eddie rides out in his low-rider, we have to take a commercial break.

Back, and we are just in time for the opening bell. Booker stalls for a few seconds. Lockup, Eddie forced into the corner, and they break clean. Eddie going for a lockup again, but Booker with an arm drag. Eddie answers with an arm drag of his own and they brawl for a few seconds until Booker walks into a drop toehold. Eddie forcing Booker into the corner, but Booker reverses a whip and lays in with some knife-edge chops. Eddie explodes out, forces Booker into the corner and has some chops of his own. Eddie with the reverse chinlock, then whipping Booker off the ropes, but Booker hits a clothesline. Booker with a chinlock of his own into a surfboard. Eddie powers out and knocks Booker down, following up with a slingshot senton. Eddie slapping on the headlock. Booker forces his way up and powers Eddie into a corner. Booker with knees to the stomach. Eddie whipped to the opposite corner, but Booker runs into a foot. Eddie trying to go on the offensive, but Booker blocks and hits a back kick. Cover, only gets 2. Booker standing Eddie up and bouncing off the ropes, but running back into a standing dropkick from Eddie. Eddie tries to capitalize, but Booker gets a hotshot onto the ropes for Eddie and dumps Eddie out. As Eddie writhes in pain on the floor, we go to commercial.

Back, and Booker has Eddie in a sleeper hold. Eddie hulks up and elbows his way out and hits a desperation Belly-to-back suplex. Booker is right back up again with another sleeper hold. Booker gets Eddies shoulders down, but Eddie kicks out after 2. Once again, Eddie fights his way out, and shoves Booker off him and gets a body drop. Eddie going up top, But Booker meets him half way and gets a superplex. Cover only gets 2! Booker back up with the sleeper. Eddie once again fights his way out, and eats a stiff knee to the mid section. Booker chokes Eddie out on the ropes, and then lays in with the knife-edges. Eddie dodges the third chop and explodes with right hands, a whip and clothesline to put Booker down. Head Scissors, and Eddie going for the vertical, but Booker reverses into a Book End. Booker covers: 1-2-NO! They brawl until Eddie eats a wicked superkick. Booker teases us with a spineroonie, but instead simply covers. Eddie kicks out at 2! Booker dragging Eddie to his feet, but Eddie locks in the suplex and hits the Hat Trick Verticals! Eddie up and Frogsplash hits! Eddie covering, But John “Bradshaw” Layfield runs in and field goal kicks him to break up the pin and draw the DQ. Eddie goes “WTF?” and Bradshaw kicks him a few more times, dumps him out of the ring, and calmly puts his coat back on with the smarmy grin in full effect. As the crowd chants, “You sold out!” we fade to the WWE logo and we’re out of here.

Well, so this is the post draft Smackdown. Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s definitely interesting. Yeah, HHH got moved back to Raw, but in his place we have two new freshly turned heels in Booker T and Bradshaw… Excuse me, Mr. Layfield. Suddenly the babyface rich main event field is a bit more even. The crowd wasn’t totally into Booker as a heel tonight, but give it time. Bradshaw moved into heel mode a lot easier, using his financial success and turning his back of Farooq to give the fans something more tangible to latch onto and despise him for. The rest of the Raw acquisitions made some good impact tonight as well. Rene DuPree was the weakest, tho. He needs to step his gimmick up past simply being French. RVD was RVD. The Dudley’s looked good in their match and hopefully this won’t be Spikes only appearance on Smackdown, that maybe a feud with Chavo is in the offing.

All in all, nice reset show. Now lets see them actually do something with what they’ve set up tonight.

See ya next week!

E-MAIL BIG DANNY T.
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